SPARK.N.STRIDE with Mach
SPARK.N.STRIDE with MACH
Conversations exploring wellness, mental health, resiliency, and personal development with Mach a retired US Air Force veteran.
SPARK.N.STRIDE with Mach
Discovering Purpose and Connection with True Khepra - Ep18
Explore the inspiring journey of True Khepra, a motivational speaker, author, and the host of the podcast Raw Success. Tune in as he engages in a meaningful dialogue with Mach, a decorated military veteran and host of Spark.N. Stride, who has embarked on a remarkable journey of reinvention and creativity. Together, Mach and True share their enthusiasm for podcasting and writing, illustrating how breaking free from preconceived limitations can create new opportunities for personal growth. Their insights on maintaining a positive attitude during life’s challenges, coupled with the influence of unexpected support, highlight the transformative potential of genuine connections.
Their conversation delves into the dynamics of teamwork and shared experiences that foster empowerment and motivation. Drawing from their varied backgrounds in hip-hop culture and military service, they emphasize the significance of connecting with individuals who share similar goals and values. By referencing principles from Napoleon Hill and African proverbs, this episode demonstrates the extraordinary results that can arise from collaboration. With lessons on resilience and determination interwoven throughout, True and Mach explore the roles of education, mentorship, and community in overcoming challenges and paving the way for a brighter future.
As the episode unfolds, they both reflect on the personal journeys that have shaped their lives, discussing topics ranging from early life choices to the benefits of practices like yoga and meditation. They address the balance between individual responsibilities and contributions to the community, emphasizing the importance of self-reflection and personal growth. The conversation also highlights the significance of building confidence, fostering authentic connections, and leveraging life experiences to discover purpose and inspire others. Join us as we explore how generosity and authenticity can connect us with a global audience, cultivating a community that transcends geographical boundaries.
because I've been true since I was 16 years old and I became well through knowledge itself. I've been true since 16 years old. But then I want to say I think in my 30s I made it legal I changed it on in the courts and everything correct.
Speaker 3:Oh wow, yeah, but um, but hey, man, thank you for coming through and hanging out with me.
Speaker 2:True, for real, for real, for real bro, it's an honor and a supreme pleasure. Like listen for all. If you don't know, spark and stride definitely knows how to treat their guests I'm he's not paying me to say that I I'm telling you like. It's been an amazing experience, my brother, so thank you so much for the invite.
Speaker 3:Yeah, man, thank you, man Like. So I want to tell you how I got in touch with you. So it was through Stack Dollars, if I'm not mistaken, stack Federal.
Speaker 2:Dollars. Yo shout out to my man Stacks.
Speaker 3:Yo Stacks. Good looking out, stacks, appreciate it, appreciate it. It's funny, man, how, in this space that we're in podcasting, whether you're using social media to get your brand out or your message out, it's interesting how someone I don't know Stacks bro, I don't know that guy, I've never met him, but that dude is a supporter of spark and stride, like, and it's just crazy man because, like I don't, even my inner circle I don't even think, is like on it, like that. You know what I mean With that level of support. In any case, good looking out, stacks, I appreciate it. I look forward to meeting you someday and in the meantime, you know I'm here with true and it's good man, it's good, it's good stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's amazing how, like through what I call divine synchronicity not to get all weird or mystical or nothing like that but organically that happened right and it came from pure love and tension because me being a good brother to him and also the fact that he respects and appreciates the work that I do he saw the work that you're doing. It was like yo, I got to combine these two men so that they can work collectively.
Speaker 2:So now you got two people who don't know each other now meeting, and I truly believe I know I said this over the phone, but I'm going to say it live on air so that it's documented, bro that this is just the beginning of many more powerful things that we're going to do together.
Speaker 3:Oh, man, brother, I couldn't agree with you more, brother, I could not agree with you more. I think also, man, I've been in a weird space over the last few months and the space constitutes a few things. So I left the military after 24 years and then I started spark and stride at the tail end. Right, it's something when someone is like call it reinventing yourself or whatever it is right. The folks in your immediate circle, supervision, or the folks that you work closely with, they see you in one way. But you know for yourself, man, there's so many facets to like what I'm able to do.
Speaker 3:I'm creative, I'm all these things. I'm a military member, I'm a service, I'm decorated military service member. I'm a father, I'm a husband, I'm a family man, service member, I'm a father, I'm a husband, I'm a family man, like it's all these things. And people kind of like in their own right, put you in this box, let's just call it that. But then when you start like expressing yourself or you start coming out of the box that they've put you in you didn't put yourself there, they put you there, and I don't even think it's like a purposeful thing, I think they're just, they can't even absorb it. Man, they're like who is this guy? Right who.
Speaker 3:I've known this guy for eight years. I've never seen this part of this guy like he's. You know, you get what I'm going with that man, so. So, going back to like what I'm getting at is like being in this space, like I'm trying to get used to this new match, if you want to call it that, right, this new part of myself where, like I'm being to express my creativity, whether it be through podcasting, whether it be through my book that's coming out, whether it be through all these different avenues.
Speaker 3:I think folks that don't know or they're not getting a peek behind the curtain. You've gotten a peek behind the curtain today so you could validate, right, you'd be like, no, no, no, no, no, like, let me tell you what that's about. You know, it's just interesting because I feel like, for the most part, a lot, of, a lot of my uh, I wouldn't say relationships, I would say connections, the connections that I had to some folks. For the most part, I'm not in contact with these folks anymore and it's sad, right, because I. We share this like camaraderie, this, this, this passion for service and the air force like service before self is one of the core values, right, um? And now it's changed. It's no longer that.
Speaker 2:It's now this and this is what it is, yeah I totally relate to what you're saying, on every level yeah you know, because I've experienced similar things, where people seen me in a certain light and and I want to be honest and say that I wasn't always this positive person and still to this day, I'm not always a positive person.
Speaker 2:right, that's my intention and that's what I strive to manifest every day in my dealings, and whenever I get off track, I do something about it within myself, in my mind, my heart and whatnot, but I think, ultimately, whatever is going on with people, I think that it's a sign of their lack of growth, because if they grew grew, then they can actually detect the frequency, energy and vibrations that you're coming with. And that's no disrespect to any of your loved ones or any of my loved ones, because I believe that people should be happy whatever, wherever they are, if you're happy, then then you're good.
Speaker 2:I wasn't happy, I wasn't satisfied with my life, so I did something about it and I've been working on myself and I'm still that's. This is a lifelong journey and I always say this to people like I love my family, like my blood family, you know. But for me, my real family are those who have the same goals, the same energy vibration. You hear me say those words multiple times. You know we're on the same path. For me, that's my family, also because I have family members that we actually are not on the same path. We don't share the same values and principles. So that's my family because we share the same DNA and I respect that and honor that. But for me, I feel more connected to those that I vibe with and I consider them, if anything again, no disrespect to anyone more family than anybody else. And you mentioned even people you grew up with.
Speaker 2:I find that a lot of my support actually comes from people that I didn't grow up with. There are people that have been there since day one, like you mentioned Stax earlier. He knew me since I was a drug dealer, since I was still in cars. He's been there since day one. My man D1 from 10th and 23rd and a lot of my other brothers from 10th Ave and 23rd. They all support me. But it's interesting, A lot of people that I thought would support me and when I say support I ain't trying to beg nobody to hear what I'm saying Sure, sure, sure.
Speaker 2:But it's just I did have, I guess for lack of a better word expectation that some people that I did grow up with and been there and know what I've been through and you know were there with me, would support more or be invested in the message and mission and purpose more, and I find that they're not. And I, in my early stages of creating, I did feel some type of way about that. I'll keep it real, especially if, like, for example, example I used to I had merch hoodies right and it said peace and and, but it was an acronym. It said positive energy activates constant elevation, something that I learned as my foundation, a five percenter. And so I'm like all right, if you wear hoodies, you wear hoodies with a positive statement. I would think that it's a no-brainer that you would invest in your brother who has a dope quality hoodie with a positive statement. I would think that it's a no-brainer that you would invest in your brother who has a?
Speaker 2:dope quality hoodie with a positive statement. So I'm not even trying to say like people, like if you don't wear hoodies, I get it. If you don't read books, I get it, no problem. So that hurt me you know when those type of people didn't invest. I like to. I'd rather use the word invest in support invest, but I've accepted that. I've accepted that. You know what, like you said, some maybe, maybe I'm just true from the block, you know, I mean so it's like whatever it could be, this too might be some like insecurities that we are uh how do I say revealing in.
Speaker 2:You get what I'm saying, because maybe they're not pursuing their passion and purpose. I don't know, but it's something that I just accepted about this lifestyle, so to speak.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I just appreciate the people who are there.
Speaker 3:It's interesting though, right, it is Like if you really take the time to kind of like, just and that's the other thing, taking the time I'm going to share something with you. So you and I were going back and forth, we're texting, right, I'm like, hey, send me the link for the book. You sent me the link, right. So, uh, I was at an appointment and what it forced me to do the book? It forced me to sit down and like, stop, stop what I was doing. And then what I'm getting at is that it wasn't audio.
Speaker 3:It wasn't, it was not an audible version of the book, right, so, and I want to plug you with the person that is helping me do my, my audio from my audible, so we'll do that offline. So what I'm getting at is that, like, typically, I'm multitasking, which is probably, you know, I don't know how well or efficient I am at it, but that's just the way I've. I kind of do my thing, right. So yesterday in particular, it forced me no, dude, you have to sit down. I have no, no ear pods or anything, and you gotta, you have to read. So I have the book on my phone and I'm reading, right, and I'm just like thinking to myself man, this person, true, this is the kind of person that I want to collaborate with. This is the kind of person I want to like brainstorm with, and not just him. People like him, right, because here's my thing, dude, so my entire thing, with spark and stride. I my entire, my mission, right, my mission is to just motivate someone else and whatever passion they have, just some motivation, right. Like, hey, man, I don't have a video background, I don't have an editing background, but I taught myself, I learned, and I kind of like piece this together. Look, look at what I created. Right, you can do the same thing. So what I'm getting at, as we're talking about the folks support or non-support of lack of support for whatever the case may be, or non-support or lack of support for whatever the case may be I always think to myself, the people in my life, my wife, my family, her family, dude, there is some amazing people that I'm directly connected to. If we would all just come together, I could guarantee you, dude, spark and Stride would be it would be it, it would be a known podcast. Let's just say that, right.
Speaker 3:I just think that, collectively, man, everyone, everyone has all these different skills and if we just all kind of like bring them together because I can't do everything instinctively, what I wanted to do is I wanted to put out a podcast one podcast a week was my goal, but then I started like really breaking it down and I was like, oh man, like that's like 52 weeks, that's 52 people. Okay, yeah, that's going to be really tough for me to kind of like pull off on my own, but if I had someone by my side, that's like you know, reaching out to other folks on Instagram, cause that's that's pretty much how I do this thing, right, like someone tells me about someone and then I go and I reach out to them on on Instagram and ultimately, I'm doing the talent acquisition part of it and the social media part of it. But I love it and, like you and I discussed earlier today, I wish I could do this every day, like. My goal right now is to get myself to a point where I can do this every day and I want to work with, like, the next generation of creator or influencer.
Speaker 3:You know, there's a young girl or a young guy somewhere who may see this on YouTube or whatever the case, and trying to figure out how do they do it, but maybe they don't have the budget or the space or maybe the spark, right, so they see what we're doing, what we're talking about. You know you're a family man, I'm a family man. It's a little different for us, right, like this is like a young man's game for the most part, you know. But I know I'm going, I know I'm all over the place, true, but just please stick with me, bro.
Speaker 3:I'm with you because I communicate the same way, yeah yeah, so okay, we have a lot in common and we do right, so I'm a huge hip-hop head, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, me too.
Speaker 3:Grew up in Brooklyn, grew up in the inner city, salsa, and merengue was the first thing I was introduced to, because that's my family's generation. But I'm an 80s baby. My mom was on heroin. You know, we're homeless, we're in and out of shelters, so hip hop has been the soundtrack to my life. I joined the military and the military exposes me to all these other different kinds of people who have the same stories, but just from a different place. So I'm wearing this shirt. I'm wearing this california shirt for my, for my, for my people on the west coast.
Speaker 2:I used to live in cali too. That's funny.
Speaker 3:I was born in cali. I was born in california, but I was raised in in my life, right. So I can't rap. I tried, I'm not good. I can't do it. I don't know how to make beats. I love music. I don't know how to do it. I was trying to figure out how can I get myself into the culture, right, how do I do that? So then I thought to myself well, take your experiences, because you have tons of experience, right. Like you were in the military for 24 years. You traveled all around the world. You've been to Iraq, afghanistan. You've seen what most people do not get a chance to see. So everything you're seeing right now, brother, at 46 years old, is just a collection of experience ups and downs, letdowns and prosperity and the whole thing. You just you're like.
Speaker 2:This is what you're seeing yeah, yeah, you know you said so much stuff, man and I. First I want to say that the feeling is mutual in terms of want to collectively work with you, and it reminds me of have you read think and grow rich.
Speaker 2:I have, by napoleon hill, I have the mastermind principle okay where he talks about aligning yourself with other people who have a similar goal or path as you, but different skill set. And also it reminds me of one of my favorite African proverbs. I always say if you want to go fast, go alone, but if you want to go far, go together.
Speaker 2:And so I'm definitely with you, and I'm saying it on air. I'm willing to collaborate because your mission, you mentioned, is to motivate others. When people ask me what does TRU stand for? Well, my mission you mentioned is to motivate others. When people ask me what does true stand for? What? My mission is very similar to yours is to empower others to be the best version of themselves, and of course, I understand that it first starts with me being the best version of myself. So yours is to motivate me is to empower. We're fighting the same battle, so to speak.
Speaker 2:So it only makes sense that we collaborate on some level. Sure, you know, um, and you mentioned being a hip-hop head in my book. You know I wanted to do something different and what I did fellow hip-hop head as well I wanted to honor that. My foundation, you know, because everybody uses the same, everybody quotes the same people, right, john maxwell you know, ralph you know, everybody, you know, no need to even go down that rabbit hole so I said you know what I'm going to use hip mcs, hip-hop artists, to show people.
Speaker 2:two things which is very resonates with me. Number one you can come from the hood, you can come from the bottom and still have light in you, because it's a representation of my life, coming from where I come from, coming from where you come from and obviously, based on where we are now. There was light in us. So that's part of the reason that I chose to quote MCs and honor hip-hop in that way, because even though, as I mentioned, I don't really say some of those things are part of my culture anymore, I do have to acknowledge and honor that it's a part of my foundation and heritage. Sure.
Speaker 2:And I want to just say, bro, just give you some flowers on air. Oh, you know what? Let me correct that. My man born powerful. Peace to the God.
Speaker 2:He told me yo, we're men, we don't give each other flowers. What men do is give each other medals. So let me rephrase that I want to give you a medal, bro, for you to grow up where you grew up at, to have a mother on drugs, to be homeless and to have what you have this amazing studio that I'm honored and privileged to be in, and I was also honored to be a guest in your home and treat it so well, as I mentioned earlier, to see that you went through all that and manifested all of this, bro, I know that to you, it's just your life. I just did what I had to do, but, bro, that's extraordinary. That's extraordinary for you to to even have the, the, the self-awareness and self-discipline to be able to create this for yourself.
Speaker 2:So I just want you to know, bro, when I know your life is far from over and you have a lot more in the tank, but you won this game of life, bro. You won. You have a lot more in the tank, but you won this game of life, bro, you won. You have a beautiful family, you created this. You're doing I consider this community work, you know, in terms of the positive stuff that you mentioned and wanting to motivate others, bro, that's community work, man, especially in this day and age, because in the 70s, in the 60s, 80s, the community work looked a certain way and now it looks different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so just wanted to say that, bro, you know just give you that medal and and to let you know that I'm with you, man man.
Speaker 3:True, I really appreciate that man. You know, and honestly, man, like sometimes I, I, there's not a day that goes by that I don't pinch myself. I swear to you man, there's not a day that goes by, there's not one. You know what I mean. Like you know, I just, but also also I'm well aware that they giveth and they taketh. Life is crude that way.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah from the, from the very, you know, uh, what I would say, the, the infamous poet jay-z. Yeah, man, it's not a day that goes by that I just don't. I'm just like, man, like, but then that's my spark, right there, right, right there. In that instance it's like okay, what am I doing today that's going to motivate someone, that's going to give someone some kind of inspiration? Who am I engaging with? Which close friend am I following up with today? Whose resume am I looking over? You know what I mean, because it doesn't stop, and my wife will tell you, this guy is like, constant, like that.
Speaker 3:You know, I have been making it a point, though, to take time for myself. It sounds like I'm, you know, I'm, you know, as being a father man, like early morning for us is where it's at. You, gotta, you have to be up before the whole house wakes up, because when they get up, you're on and they're expecting for you to be on, you know. So, in that sense, you know, my clock is 4 am, man, I'm up at 4 am and I go through my thing, man, you know, I got my coffee.
Speaker 3:I do a lot of reflection. You know what I mean. A lot of reflection, man, a lot of thinking back on all these different times when it was supposed to go wrong and it didn't go wrong, like okay, that was close, that was too close or whatever the case may be. But yeah, man, it's not a day that goes by that I don't kind of like take the time to just show my gratitude, gratitude and just also. You know, I think it's important for us, as as men, to really find that space within yourself when you could allow yourself reflection and gratitude. You need that because the way things are set up right now, things are so fast or happening so quick, man, you know, you could so easily get lost in the sauce, man, and then you turn around and you look up and you're like man, like where did the time?
Speaker 2:go. Yeah, and you know it's interesting. You mentioned, like, things that could have gone wrong. The interesting thing about my life, bro, is that a lot of things did go wrong and it could have been worse. It's always listen, I'm still here in front of you so it could have been worse. However, somehow it still ended up right and I was reflecting on that and I was actually going to do a video about that.
Speaker 2:You know, a lot of times people ask me like yo True, what's your biggest regret? And I could definitely give you a long list Not taking school serious, having children at a young age, you know, investing in the wrong relationships. I can keep going and continue. However, I realized that all of those things helped to mold and create the man that I am today, even having children at a young age. When my daughter, lenasia, was born in 1999, peace, baby girl she was the spark for me to start making my transition away from the streets. So, even though I can say, wow, I shouldn't have had children so young, had I not had her, I don't know where I would be, because the truth is I loved her more than I loved my own life. See, I didn't care about life, you know like if I got killed, it is what it is and.
Speaker 2:I'm not saying that to sound tough. That was really my mindset at the time. If I had to go to due time, listen, I'll give you five years. Anything more than that.
Speaker 2:I'm going to dr, I'm running and going to dr you know, what I'm saying yeah and so that was really my mindset and it was fixed. But thanks to her and I love I have five children, I love all my children, but she was the first one, so she's just the one that sparked that I was able to make my transition after you know, it wasn't an overnight process. Obviously I caught a big charge and even that helped.
Speaker 2:You know, like, oh snap, I had a vision that came to me, but I say that to say that for anyone who's listening. Even if your life is going wrong number one, it could be worse remember that. But also if you're continuously growing as a person and really striving and being intentional about your time, about the people you surround yourself with and, of course, your actions, that even the wrong turns can somehow lead you to the right place is what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:And so life is interesting like that. That's why we need to keep fighting as men. And life is tough for me still, even in this stage of life, because of some of my choices. You know, it is what it is the power of choice, some of my choices that I made in the past, and I'm dealing with that. But again, maybe if it wasn't for some of those choices, maybe the message that I have wouldn't even exist, because it is experiencing life the way I did and having to learn and read some of the books and reflection to get some of the insights and having to connect with certain people that gave me the mindset that I have. So that's the interesting thing about life also.
Speaker 3:Yeah, man, that is so you get what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the way about life also yeah, man, that is so you get what I'm saying? Yeah, no, the way it unfolds.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And then the other thing too, man, is like you may think you made a bad decision, right, you may think you made a bad, appreciate it. You may think you've made a bad decision, but to your point, you know. Look what happens after Like. So in the military they have us. When you make it to like high levels of like supervision, they talk about the second and third order of effects. So as a leader, you need to be good with the fact that you can make the decision. You can say, hey, this is what we're going to do, but you have to think about the second and third order of effects of what you're telling the people who follow you to go do. Wow, you know, so you're.
Speaker 2:And part of me not to cut you I take everything as a learning lesson, so even though you're talking military talk, for me I'm like I can use that in life life. So it's about thinking about all the possibilities that can happen.
Speaker 3:Sure.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:Given the circumstances right, like hey, look like you know, and it could be something what we would call like a little bit, like not too serious, like minute, minute, small, or it could be something on a big scale, you know what I mean. Like you're talking about money and whatever the case of budgets or manpower, that kind of thing, so it can get pretty heavy right so you just need to like keep that in mind, right?
Speaker 3:so, as a young 14 year old living on my own, I left the house at the age of 14. Wow, yeah, yeah, like it's wild, man, it's wild Like. I'll give you a little bit, I'll give you some snippets, but ultimately it'll be in the book. You know, I didn't know that my mom was bipolar, right? I didn't know that.
Speaker 2:And especially during those days because you're you're 46, I'm 44. Right yeah, Same generation. They didn't really have the resources to really get what I'm saying. Yeah, it wasn't to support people with mental health issues back then.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's like yo she crazy.
Speaker 3:Exactly, no disrespect. Yep, oh, she's a live wire, that's right. That's what that's right. That's what it was, that's what it was right. So you know, uh, yeah, man, like we would, we would be out in public. Or you know, like my mom was, um, uh, she was at one point she had tried to get herself clean through through methadone and, um, we were in a shelter out in far Rockaway and we get placed into Howard projects in Brownsville, east New York Avenue and mother Gaston Boulevard, right? So the reason why my mom picked those projects was because of the, the, the bus. The bus ran right in front and took us straight to Kings County to the methadone clinic. So this is an all-black neighborhood, you know it's an all-black neighborhood. You know very, you know Spanish here and there, but it's an all-black neighborhood.
Speaker 3:And when you're like the minority in such a situation, for whatever it is, you can be targeted, targeted for anything really, like you know it's pray can be targeted, targeted for anything really, like you know it's it's pray, or be prayed on, right in that sense. But but with my mom man, like she would flash dude, like you know, we could be on the bus and someone say something wrong to her and and she'll spaz out and like there would be a fight on the bus as we're on our way to the methadone clinic. You know what I mean. So I grew up with this like instinctive thing that it can go at any time, could go from one zero to 100 at any time, which is one of the reasons why like it's silly, but like I don't wear flip-flops in the city or when I'm out with my daughter, like doing things, like I don't wear flip-flops, I wear sneakers and I tie them up because there's that's like drilled into my head that at any given time it can, it can happen, right, things can go wrong. So, going back to the whole mental illness part of it, like I had no idea she was bipolar it was. My thought was that monthly my mom would go through her menstrual cycle and she would be in a bad mood and I would get kicked out the house because she was like going through whatever she was going through, little did I know that she was bipolar Wow. Whatever she was going through, little did I know was that she was bipolar Wow.
Speaker 3:So this one particular day, you know like she flashes on me and you know I already know the whole drill, like get out, get out of here, that whole thing. And I remember I walked from Brownsville all the way to East New York to like Livonia and like Jerome, to where my girlfriend lived at the time and, dude, I cried the whole way. It was like a 30 minute walk, 40 minute walk. It was cold, it was like February. I walked and I just told myself I said I would never come back here. I'll never come back. I was 14. Like I just won't ever come back here, I'll never go through this again, I'll never be kicked out of anywhere.
Speaker 3:And yeah, man, I went and got. Uh, like I always worked, so I went and got like, um, I rented a room. My, my, my, my girlfriend at the time, her mom plays the numbers. You know like the illegal numbers in the hood. So she, like the bookie, the guy who ran the numbers you know like the illegal numbers in the hood. So she, like the bookie, the guy who ran the numbers had a spot where he would like rent out rooms. So this bookie guy, he has these rooms, he rents them out.
Speaker 3:So it's like it's unfortunate man, but it's these individuals or these folks that are just on hard times. You know what I mean. Like they're, they're maybe getting a social security check or whatever, dude, it was. Just it was. It was sad, man, it was really sad.
Speaker 3:So my first night in this room there's nothing in the room, it's a bare room there was like maybe like a drawer and a bed with a mattress, no sheets, no, no, no, no, and a chair, maybe none of that. And I remember, uh, there must have been like um, like ticks or like lice or something in the room because, like I could feel, like I could feel these maybe like I don't know, but bed bugs. I think you could kind of see a little bit. This was like you couldn't really see. So I just remember, like that first night I didn't sleep, I didn't take my clothes off to go to sleep, like I put a hoodie on and I put the drawstrings as tight as I could, and that's how I slept that first night. The next day I get like a thing for the room to like bomb, the room for the bugs and that kind of thing.
Speaker 3:From there again someone else puts me in touch with someone else and this person has a building and they're renting out rooms. In the bottom of the building they have rooms framed out. So I was only in this you know insect infested place for like a week and then I get you know a plug for the place. Now I'm in the basement of this building. This was trippy, so it was like four rooms. So this guy just framed out four rooms in this basement. This was in East New York, this was off of like Cleveland and like Liberty Avenue. So in this basement I had a guy who was in a merengue band. You would never see that guy, he was just gone. The other guy was a taxi driver never see that guy gone.
Speaker 3:And then the, the guy who kind of like got, came in around the same time I came in. He had just got out of prison and he was like a counselor, like at Phoenix House, which was like a like a transitional, kind of like halfway house for for folks. So he was like so while in prison he got like some certifications. Now he could be like a, like a social worker sort of a thing, counselor, and he and and this guy would you know, like in the evenings I would sometimes run into him. You gotta if I could paint this picture for you. So it's, it's a basement of a building. It's a basement of a building that has four rooms. Framed in the center is a, is a slop sink, like a big drop sink for, like filling up buckets and that kind of thing. Off of there was, uh, like a shower made out of concrete, kind of like. In puerto rico, all I had was like a, like a pipe coming out, super small, and I lived there for a few months, actually, until I got placed into like this shelter. But you know, it'd be funny, man, because, like I'd be brushing my teeth at a drop sink, he'd be brushing his teeth like on the opposite side of the drop sink.
Speaker 3:Just kind of like giving me like knowledge, almost you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Kind of like, because you got to think I'm 14 years old man, I'm 14 years old, you know, working three jobs. I knew, though I knew that, no matter what I did, I needed to get my high school diploma. Like I knew, no matter what, I knew that I needed to get my high school diploma. So my mom didn't graduate from high school. She got her GED, and I remember how proud she was when she got her GED, and she would just always tell me she's like look, no matter where this life takes you. You have to graduate high school and and you know like it kind of like stuck with me and I can't. That's how I so, through all the, the nonsense, the shelters and the this and the that, like I knew how important it was. And, funny enough, had I not gotten my high school diploma, I would have never qualified to get into the Air Force Some years later. You know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, my bad bro, I don't know if we're going all over the place or whatever. No, no.
Speaker 2:I'm with you. I wanted to ask you this when you were telling me. Do you remember maybe what's the main lesson that my man, the counselor, is there any like main lesson that he taught you that you remember I'm I'm gonna keep it a full stack with you.
Speaker 3:True, like he gave me some lessons, right, he gave me some good info.
Speaker 3:But, bro, he was, he was giving me knowledge and giving me info, right, but at the same time he was scheming on, like robbing, like a dental office that I guess, like some chick he was talking to worked at, and I guess like there was like some sort of like it wasn't like now everything's electronic and tapping, like there was like actual cash, right.
Speaker 3:So I'm like it was funny to me because he's giving me like this life experience, but then he's also telling me like, hey, man, like we could go pull off this heist, right, I'm like, right, I think about that now, and I'm just like I don't even remember the guy's name. Bro, to be quite honest with you, but to answer your question, what I took from it, right, what I took was that, not that I didn't want to be like him, right, not that. But I thought to myself, man, I have to figure this out, because I cannot be brushing my teeth in a slop sink as a grown man. That can't be it. You know what I mean. So maybe not so much in telling me or more in sharing the experience. I kind of like piece that together a little bit, if that makes any kind of sense.
Speaker 2:You know again something else that we have in common. I didn't have it rough like you, not not that rough, I'm from the hood definitely did some things, but my mother was, was you know she worked at a factory and she did her best.
Speaker 2:She wasn't on drugs and she wasn't bipolar, so by no means am I striving to say it was as tough as your situation at 14 years years old. I had a spot to stay in. However, something in common that we had we have, I would say is this instinctual insight. I'll say that there's more to life, and I always say that that's important and I always wonder why some people don't have that. I know how I got it. I think I knew there was more to life because at a very early age I traveled a lot, you know, I mean nowhere crazy.
Speaker 2:You know I spent summers in New York, in the Bronx, you know, I lived in Cali, so I just knew that there was more to life. You know, how did you know in that moment, in front of your sink? In front of that sink, I should say that there was more to life? Because some people, they, they would just settle like yo, this is what life is. But for somehow, instinctively, you knew that there was more to life. How, where did you get that feeling or thought or idea from?
Speaker 3:Look bro, it goes a little bit further back than that.
Speaker 2:Okay, it goes a little bit further back. The rabbit hole is deep.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because.
Speaker 2:And I'm going to get your book when it comes out too, and then have you on my podcast.
Speaker 3:Please do. I'm looking forward to it. I am totally looking forward to that. So, to answer your question, man, so like my mom gets introduced to heroin when I'm four years old, so our life like literally crumbled, like you know. So when I was five years old, I'd never got sent to school that entire year. I wasn't sent to school because my mom had just got hooked onto heroin and I was like attached to her hip. So I'm going with her, like wherever she's going. You know what I mean. So the survival instinct started at four, and the survival instinct started at four and, dude, like you know, I think it's wild being a father, father now, because, like, as my daughter's like making these strides and she's, like you know, growing, and like I feel like I'm living with a different person every six months. I'm like who is this person? I can't help but look at her and then think about myself at that age, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:I totally know what you mean. My son is 19, malcolm, and I'm like yo I had a baby at that age, so it's like that, right yeah just like that man.
Speaker 3:So the survival part of it started very early. So, to answer your question, when I'm brushing my teeth at that drop sink, I'm not thinking about there's more to life, I'm just thinking about survival. I'm just thinking about survival. I'm not thinking about I was clueless to the outside world. What was the outside world? My world was Brooklyn. I didn't need to go anywhere else, everything was right there. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:I remember when I turned 16 years old, I became a lifeguard for the Parks Department of New York City. So my first day. So I get assigned this. They're like hey, you have to show up here. They write something on a paper so I have an idea of where it is. So ultimately, you know, I'm asking a cop for like directions when I come off of the train. I was way off so I had to walk, you know, quite a distance. But, dude, that was my first time having a purpose to go into Manhattan. I never had a purpose to go into Manhattan. I never had a purpose to go into Manhattan. For what? Never? So now I'm in the city. So now I'm being introduced to the city at the age of 16 because I'm going into the city every day.
Speaker 3:Right, I have this job. I'm working at a pool down in Soho, right, the pool was on Spring Street and Thompson, right in the middle of Soho. You'll get a kick out of this, dude, and, by the way, anyone who's watching or listening all this shit is true like. I can't even make this up. I can't, I'm not that creative.
Speaker 3:So first day of work as a lifeguard, I show up. The park is closed off. They're like hey, you can't, you can't go in there. So, as I figure out what's going on, they're shooting a video in there. They're shooting a video in the park. But I have an id. I'm like, no, I work here. They're like okay, so now, now I'm in the park because the pool's in the park, but it's mace diddy 112 and and mace is shooting a commercial for, for footlocker. So it's crazy, dude, like. So I'm like I'm in the park because I work there and I'm my whole day was literally watched, watch this. Uh, it wasn't even a video, it was like a, a photo shoot for like footlocker or whatever. You know what I mean. So that's like my introduction into like being in the city, right, and it's just like whoa, like crazy, right, like you know, I don't know if you want to talk about any ditty stuff or whatever.
Speaker 3:Like I like I don't mind you know, whatever you want to talk about, I'm here, but um you know, you know I'll say this man and I don't want to get off on a tangent or anything like that but, like you know, say what you want. You know, the man like is just an icon within the music industry or however you want to like, equate it and whatever big words you want to use to describe it. What it did for me at that age was I just figured like wow, like this is someone who's doing it right, like it was the first time I seen anyone of like color successful. I think a lot of us, you know, like bad boy, biggie 112, like like that whole thing right. So it's why, it's why I have this on here. You know what I mean. It was.
Speaker 3:It was all a dream, that's like, because literally it was all a dream. I slept on the trains. I I envisioned what my life would be like outside of what I was, outside of my suffering or outside of this survival thing that I was going through. You know like what? Like what happens when this is not it, you know. And in regards to being positive, like you said earlier, dude, anything I did in the military, as bad as it was, bombs coming in Afghanistan, iraq, you know. You know, working 12, 14 hour days or whatever, being out in the field, it's raining I just always had a positive outlook on it. You know, I would always look to the folks to the right and left of me and be like, at least we're together. Imagine going through this shit by yourself. You know what I mean. Like at least we're together, you know. So, um, yeah, man.
Speaker 2:Sorry, bro. Yeah, bro, I'm yeah. No, you know that that's. That's powerful man. I once heard a quote I actually mentioned it in my book, you know, word up. I went to a jay-z concert and he said act as if everything that's happening to you is for your benefit. And it's interesting that you say that about your positive outlook, because it's something that I've strived to do myself and adapt. I'm not always the best at it, you know what I mean. I do keep it real with people. You know some people oh, you know I'm Mr Positive and I'm honest with them Like no, that's intentional. Putting positive energy out there, it's not to ignore the negative. I think that we can extract a lot of lessons from the negative. You know, if we channel the energy the right way, you know, just keeping in the context that this is happening for a purpose, I can learn from it and I could become better because of it.
Speaker 2:And you're a living, breathing example and I think that you know my life is a representation as well. I think we just can't give up, man. We got to be strong, we got to be strong and if you survive it then you can make it better and patient. Be strong and patient. That's the other part. Be patient.
Speaker 2:Something that I learned in Brazilian jiu-jitsu right is that sometimes you're going to be in a position that's just whack. You know the person may have you in a choke, let's say, and all you can do is this Just put your hand in and tuck your chin a little bit and you're like damn, this sucks, I can't really breathe. But you're not knocked out, you're not choked out, it's just super uncomfortable and you have to be patient why. You know by your reading the situation, meaning his body movements or whatever, or the clock may run out and obviously in in real life street fight, you don't have that luxury but we're talking about brazilian jiu-jitsu.
Speaker 2:I learned from brazilian jiu-Jitsu that sometimes you're just going to be in a position that just sucks, waiting for your moment. And that's life. And that's why part of my message specifically to the youth is the message of it's going to be tough, and you know you got a lot of people now. For me it's a lot of fluff talk. Life is great, it'll always be good, don't worry about it. You know, just be positive. My message is, yes, be positive. But guess what? Life is tough. You got to be strong, work hard. You know I also talk about being still. You mentioned earlier about taking the time to be still, resting.
Speaker 2:I at one time did not appreciate and honor rest. I felt like if I was resting I was slacking. But it wasn't until I read a book about rest and forgive me for not remembering the title of the book, part to performance. You know, to keep it real simple, the better you rest, because sometimes it's not about how long you rest, it's the quality of rest. The better you rest, the more you can perform. So, ah, that caught me because I'm a man about performance. So I was like, oh, wait a minute, this will help my performance. And that's when I started to honor rest and realize the whole sleeping for suckers and all of that. Yo do not listen to that. Sleep is not for suckers. Make sure you get quality, good rest Helps your mind, helps your body and a whole bunch of other health benefits. But yeah, man, to me ultimately it is about that, that context for life.
Speaker 3:I'll tell you where my rest. So I got put on to like the whole importance of rest and sleep. So I got put on to like the whole importance of rest and sleep. Maybe I'm 46 now, Probably. I'd say like in my mid-30s kind of. So, maybe like 10 years ago, Kind of like, okay, Like now I'm being schooled to like how important that is. Dude, I'm so addicted to like figuring out like my sleep patterns and everything.
Speaker 3:So about six months months ago, I started doing yoga. So I started doing hot yoga. So, um, finally, I love hot yoga. Oh man, Like I, I swear by it. I haven't, I haven't touched the weight in like six months. I just started on the weights again like two weeks ago.
Speaker 3:But any so, for the first for the past six months, that's all it's been. Like two weeks ago, but any so, for the first for the past six months, that's all it's been just hot yoga in the evenings and focusing on just being still. Cause, cause, it's hard. It's hard if you're not used to it. It's hard to be still and to learn how to meditate and that kind of thing. If, if, if you don't come from that like who? Who teaches you how to do that I was. I wasn't taught. I mean, of course, like you could go on YouTube, you get some videos, you could read some books, but in terms of like someone showing you, like no one's ever showed me that. But now I'm being introduced cause I'm going to these classes. So man like I, on a good week for four nights, four nights every session is anywhere between like 600 to 700 calories burned.
Speaker 3:wow, yeah you know what I mean. And, um, it's cool because there's like a portion of the class. The first 10 minutes is is, uh, almost like getting comfortable and getting grounded and it's a meditative like 10 minutes, I call it. It's like the warm-up and then the last 10 minutes is like you're also in a meditative state where you're kind of like bringing your heart rate down, you're aligning your breath because, because it's hot, your body's hot, you're sweating and that kind of thing I wish.
Speaker 3:I wish I would have known this 10 years ago. Did I know about it? Yes, I knew about it, but did I know the benefits of how it would make me feel? No, I didn't know that because I didn't take the time right. You mentioned something in the book. Let me go through my notes real quick. Man, I had no clue what I was good at and what I wanted to be Dude. This is exactly what I'm telling you about, like I didn't know that any of this stuff I didn't. I knew it existed. I didn't know how it would affect me. So, here on this platform, anyone who's listening man, like yoga is good for you, hot yoga is even better for you. You know what I mean, and if you could carve out some time to get yourself into that space and figure out that energy that you have inside man, it'll do wonders for you, you know, yeah and you know, I think hot yoga and regular yoga, and if you're not comfortable with the word yoga, we can say extreme stretching right.
Speaker 3:It's so important.
Speaker 2:It's so important because, number one, it works out the involuntary muscles as well. See, I go to the gym I'm a gym enthusiast, calisthenics, all of that, and I can tell you there's people that I know that can bench 350, all of that. But then you put them in a downward dog position. That's a yoga position. For those who don't know, they'll start shaking. I have big muscles, strong. It's because of the involuntary muscles, the fibers you have to.
Speaker 2:Life is about yin yang, right, you have to find a way to harmonize all aspects of of that, you know, in all, in, in every aspect of our lives. And so the other thing about yoga, too, is that you have to study life, you know, especially us men, right, the older we get, our bones become stiffer, our muscles become stiffer, especially, you know, depending on your job, you're sitting, driving all of this. So what yoga does is to assist us with the um, or combat and be proactive with the effects of that which happens naturally, for you know um, so to speak. I'm hesitating. I'm hesitating using the word naturally, because I do think that if we take, if we're, if we're aware of these things when at a younger age, then it doesn't have to happen. But if you don't of these things at a younger age, then it doesn't have to happen.
Speaker 2:But if you don't do these things at an early age, then, yeah, it's going to happen. So it is what it is. The other thing about yoga and meditation it's an opportunity to be in tune and connected with the body, and I think that in this day and age, especially with the cell phone era, technology era, it's tough and challenging to be in tune with ourselves. You know that we experience while we're in those postures. And you mentioned meditating. I've been meditating for about 15 years.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, how did you get put on?
Speaker 2:I think it's through. I'm going to gonna call it, for lack of a better word, the black black conscious movement and starting to tap into that and starting to uh um, and I began to be introduced to spirituality from that perspective okay eventually it led to other doors, and then I learned about meditation and whatnot, and the pinn.
Speaker 2:I'm going to tell you a little story. You know and this is me, bro, I ain't with that crazy stuff I would say the pinnacle experience that I've had with meditating, I had an outer body experience. It's the second time that I had an outer body experience. The funny thing is, the first time is after committing a robbery with my friends, strong arm robbery.
Speaker 2:The second time, oh, I want to hear all about it, yeah it definitely was through meditating and it was the first time that it ever happened. I haven't been able to recreate that, but it was interesting and while I was experiencing the outer body experience while meditating, as soon as I became conscious of it and started to feel excited, I was back in my body. It was like I don't know what it is.
Speaker 2:When I became conscious and started to react or respond to the experience, I lost it instead of just being, which I wanted to just say for anyone who thinks that maybe this whole mystical stuff is whatever meditation is just being present.
Speaker 2:At the end of the day, you could be walking and meditating. It's just about being present and not allowing your mind to control you. Some people think that it's about not having any thoughts. That's very challenging to do. I have experienced that too. I experienced that on a daily basis, you know. I experienced that today when I was at the beach. But I would say, for the most part, it's just being aware of your thoughts and I think that that's an easier thing and an easier process to transition to to eventually not having quote unquote no thoughts.
Speaker 2:And it's a back and forth thing. Just for anybody who wants to try meditation. Don't worry about getting it right, just sit down, put your phone in airplane mode. That's what I do. Also, something that I do is I put a timer on so I'm not worried about time, like I'm. I'm like, I'm very uh how do I say like like I just I value time so much that I always think about it. You know I'm saying. And so what I do to ease my mind, I'll put a timer on. So I do something called triple five. I meditate for five minutes, I read for five minutes and I do light yoga for five minutes. So I'll put a timer on literally for five minutes to get into posture. Now, it's easy for me to get into posture because I've been doing it for so long, but you know, it's easy for me to get into posture because I've been doing it for so long.
Speaker 2:But you know that's just a start. I just wanted to share that with your audience. You wanted to learn about I mean you wanted to know about the other time I had an outer body experience. I'll keep it real simple and basic. Some friends and I we did a strong arm robbery in Passaic, new Jersey, and after coming back making a long story short, after coming back to the hood and sort of celebrating our spoils and what we got and everything like that there was a moment when I just sat back and my friends you know we're all joking and at the time I smoked.
Speaker 3:I was.
Speaker 2:You know, everybody was joking, smoking, drinking and, you know, laughing. I just had this experience where I literally was detached from the moment and was able to see it from like a bird's eye view and I had a moment where I felt bad about the situation and that was another spark in my life as well. Like I remember that, like I'm even just like getting the chills talking about it like I remember that moment I was like yo, nah, this ain't it. Like yeah, it's like what the thought?
Speaker 2:I like this, ain't it we're not supposed to be joking and celebrating about this stuff. And so you know, just like that's my life has been like that, like I've had some big sparks and then some little sparks where moments would happen, things would happen and I would get like little messages, you know. I mean little feelings about making a shift, and I would store it and sometimes take action right away or, or, if not, sometimes it was a process of taking action that led somewhere. Yeah, so that was the first time I had an outer body experience. It's crazy, I don't know why, but it happened. I was probably super present, I was probably meditating super present about what was going on and just I don't know my I don't even know how to explain why that feeling, because I'm with it, this is my crew, but for some reason I just was different in that moment.
Speaker 3:How this might be like a side question or whatever, but like the folks that you were, or the guys or girls that you were, let's just say, like within your group, how many of those folks are you still in contact with?
Speaker 2:I'm in contact with most of them, the ones that are still alive or the ones that are not in prison yeah you know I'm actually in contact with both, but most of them really yeah, yeah, we have what we have.
Speaker 3:Well, most of them have a great relationship, yeah because, like for me, man, like we were so transient, we were just all over the place. I went to like 12 different elementary schools. I went to like three different junior high schools and I went to three different high schools. I was kicked out of one high school on a superintendent suspension. I was gone. I was out of the New York City school system for a year and thank God that through my mom's, even with the little that we had, like she made sure we went to every single appointment to get me back into the school system and but I think about all those folks that I had that I would.
Speaker 3:It's almost like a, like a current. So like I'd be on this side of the current. I knew that wasn't right, and then I kind of go to this side of the current. I knew that wasn't right, then I kind of go to this side of the current, I know that wasn't right, and then just slowly navigated out of all these different like possibilities. So all these different people that I was interacting with, like I'm not in touch with a lot of them. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, it's just interesting because you think at that time that these are your folks, these are your people, this is who your tribe. But in reality, like it's not right, you're some as cliche as it sounds.
Speaker 2:It was just some what do you call it for the season? Yeah, but I'm actually still friends. You know, like I'm still friends with one of my first friends from kindergarten. His name is Lamont Gates. Yo, lamont, what's good.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying? That's awesome. Yeah, man, yeah Like.
Speaker 2:I got a picture with him from in our kindergarten class and everything. I got like a before and after. But yeah, what I will say is that with some of them, the energy exchange is not the same. You know, like, sometimes, like I even think about that, sometimes, like man, how was I with this person every day? And I'm not saying that like in a judgmental way, I'm saying that like in a realistic way, because now, when we speak, it's not the same. You know, I've even even have experienced like forcing, almost like a forceful conversation, which I strive not to do in this stage of my life. I'm not. I understand that life requires effort, things require effort. You know what I mean For sure. Like for you and I to stay in contact. It requires effort.
Speaker 2:We have to be intentional about it, but I don't force anything. There's a difference putting effort and forcing two different things. You know what I mean. So, but, yeah, man, and I feel super blessed for everyone that I know, the day ones that I'm still in contact with, and we went through some things and a lot of us grew, you know, some, didn't you know I mean, but I appreciate them for who they are and what they are and what they bring to my life. But I know how to move. But on the block, man, they, they, like I would say they celebrate me, my bro, like they celebrate me.
Speaker 2:They should they even they even protect me, like there's times where I'm like yo, I'm on my way to the hood and they'll be like, not today I appreciate that I appreciate, and you know the thing is too like I'm still connected to the hood that I wonder if sometimes I want to be careful with my words because I don't want anybody to take this the wrong way. I'm just going to say the way it's coming and just know that. You know, if you know me, you know my heart, but sometimes I wonder if it holds me back, because but I don't think so, though because I want to do it my way and and so, and I want, I want to be successful my way, and it doesn't include, like I still go on a block, like I'm gonna still take pictures with my brothers that I survived the streets with, because the truth is, I wanted to survive without them.
Speaker 2:You know I'm saying I survived because of them and so, but sometimes, like I know some people that I am aware of some people, I would say that they totally just detached. You know they don't go back, they don't do none of that and they've achieved certain things, and so I don't know if I want it that way. You know, I want to stay connected to where I'm from in an intelligent way, and the thing is too like. That's where I feel most comfortable with as crazy. I feel more comfortable in the trenches. Funny, I'm an x-ray tech. That's what I do for a living right, and I do mobile, so I travel, and so, like you had other techs that would be like like yo, I don't want to go to newark. Let's say, right, newark, new jersey, they don't want to go to newark because of how it is, and so I'm like yo, send me I feel I feel I feel more comfortable in that space.
Speaker 2:That's where I want to be you know, I'm saying in a way, in some ways, depending on the situation.
Speaker 2:But anyway, I didn't mean to go on a tangent about that, but just wanted to say like it is important for me to stay connected to where I'm from and it is important for me to honor those relationships as well in a way that makes sense, you know, but I don't believe in. Like Drake has a song called no New Friends. I don't believe in that. I definitely don't believe in that. And I know the difference between a friend and an acquaintance. Sure, sure, but absolutely not.
Speaker 2:You know, what I mean. Like for me, I'm on a path and my path is multi. You're talking about being all over the place, Bro. My path is the same way I have friends I work out with. I got friends from the hood friends. I've got friends from the hood friends that I have intellectual conversations with, friends from the black conscious movement. You get what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:And I love it all and somehow I know how to manage it all. But then you have people like my wife, right, she has like a very small circle. You know what I mean. She's like yo. I don't know how you do it. So, listen, this brings me joy. This is how my life is, and I'm juggling it the best way I can.
Speaker 3:Are you like a June baby? Is your birthday in June, no November, november.
Speaker 2:Yeah, next month, november 24. I'm a Sagittarius, yeah, sagittario.
Speaker 3:Okay, Because I was thinking like I was wondering if you were like a cancer. Oh okay, like cancer.
Speaker 2:Not a cancer. Oh okay, like cancer. Like not a cancer, but like cancer. No, I know what you mean the sound, the zodiac sign. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because because of what? You're because of what you're saying yeah, you know what I mean now. I'm so, you know. For if you study the zodiac, they say uh, cancers are really emotional. Yeah, I'm not an emotional person.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, so so I'm cancer, my daughter's cancer so like we. So we share. Our birthdays are like three days apart.
Speaker 2:You know what I?
Speaker 3:mean. But for me I'm okay being out with everyone. I'm also okay with being inside. Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:But yeah, we love hard bro, we love with our heart on our sleeves.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean. It's very hard to hide our emotions if we're you know what I mean. It's very hard to like hide our emotions if we're you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:My man, bumani's a Cancer man. Shout out to Bumani Very loyal Cancers are very loyal too, man. So shout out to y'all Y'all make good friends. Yeah, talk to me about NLP. Ah, neuro Linguistic Programming, programming uh, the most famous I think he's the most famous nlp practitioner is tony robbins.
Speaker 2:Okay, so a really basic definition of nlp. Right, you have neural, which means the nervous system, the brain, the mind and the body connection, right, linguistic language. And then program right is how, the like, the philosophy behind it, and so what nlp specifically is? It's the mind and body connection and language of how to. It's a system of how to be, I want to say, the best version of yourself, but perform better in life. There's a, there's a term called states, how to be in a better state, right, so if you're in a depressed uh, about to call a state, so if you're depressed, right, that would be considered a negative state, and so there's a methodology and things that you can do to get out of that state. Really, a really basic example I like to give. And first, right, let me show you, oh, let me ask you, if somebody, somebody lacks confidence, right, they lack confidence. What's their physical posture like?
Speaker 3:It could be a number of different postures, maybe head down, shoulders that's enough.
Speaker 2:Head down, shoulders in right. So that's a prime example of how our state right lack of confidence fearful reflects in our body so that's why the neurolinguistic right it's a body, it's a language that our body I'm in this fearful state and now my body's communicating it right, and we know that body language is the is the majority of the communication that we do as human beings so what nlp does is sometimes takes the physical route to assist, or with a mental state.
Speaker 2:So if you're lacking confidence and you're my client, because I'm a life coach NLP practitioner I would say, man, put your shoulders back, Head up, All right, chest out, that's what's up, man. I might even be like yo do some push-ups, man, so you can feel stronger, right, You're like? What the?
Speaker 2:hell. I came to you for confidence. We're getting there. What I'm doing is I'm putting you in a more efficient and empowering state that will bring the confidence. You know what I mean. So we start, boom, chest out how you feel now yeah. Yeah, it's not to say like it's going to magically happen, but now we're working towards that state. So that's what NLP is it's basically about. It's a methodology and system of how to become in a better state, depending on what your goals are in life.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so who put you on to that? How did you get put onto nlp? Great question studying you know I'm a huge fan of personal development.
Speaker 2:Okay, I've been through many personal development programs like I'm, and like I'm going places. You know, I mean sure, depending, like I've spent thousands of dollars on working on myself. You know, in in many different ways. You know, like therapy, I I've been in therapy when there was the negative stigma about therapy. You know I've been in therapy, personal development programs, and so just on that journey, you know, um, it's one of the things that I found. You know, it's nlp and I liked it because it's practical you know, it's one of the things that I found.
Speaker 2:You know NLP, and I liked it because it's practical. You know it's very practical, it's systematic. It just made sense to me. And then, in addition to that, Tony Robbins practices it. So I'm like, well, if it works for him, sure Right, if it can give me a percentage of how much it worked for him, it'll definitely work for me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so that's how I discovered it. It's funny how you mentioned, like, the confidence part, because, um so, with my daughter I, you know, my wife and I, this is our, she's our only child. We had her late, so we were, you know. It appears that, like at every stage or every level as she progresses, there's like some new challenges or something that we have to adapt to or that kind of thing. So, but for me, my thing with my daughter, and how my parenting whatever gem or tact or however you want to like describe it has been like her confidence, so early on, I've just always felt like, you know, man, like we have our children as children for such a limited amount of time, you know, like we get so caught up sometimes in, like the appearance of our home or whatever it is, like there's toys everywhere and this kind of thing. And I tell my wife, I'm like this is a phase, this is a season. We will grow out of this. There will be no toys at some point. She's only going to play with Barbies for a certain amount of time. She's only going to do these things for a certain amount of time.
Speaker 3:But what I want to tell you is that when the day comes that, ultimately, they're no longer in your I wouldn't say control, but when they're ready, they, our children, are ready to spread their wings. My oldest is 25. I get it Right. We spoke about that earlier. God bless, man. Thank you. I couldn't imagine having a 25-year-old. I can't imagine what those conversations are like. We'll get to that, though. What I'm getting at is that when they're ready to spread their wings, or leave the nest or whatever it is, I, I feel that at least I can go back to the knowledge, or the knowing that I empowered her to be confident and whatever else, like we know she's. We know that they're gonna make mistakes, we know it. They're gonna stumble.
Speaker 3:We just pray that it's not a mistake that we can't come back from or learn from right, like there's certain things that god forbid right, like drinking and driving you hurt someone, there's nothing I could do. Like I'll be there for you but ultimately there's nothing I could do. But I feel strong, knowing that what I did for the majority of your upbringing was like instill confidence in you, because when you're confident man, like instinctively man, you you won't be a follower. You're not gonna go along with the dumb shit. You're not gonna just. Or with the dumb shit you're not gonna just, or.
Speaker 3:I would hope not. You know, because you just have this level of confidence, because it's a cruel world, man, it's a cruel world out there and you, we can't be there at every single turn or decision making opportunity for our kids. They have to kind of do that on their own. So I just default to the fact that it's the whole confidence part. You know. So we're big on the my bad, so we're big on, you know, experiences and introductions to new things and, believe it or not, a lot of the stuff that I'm introducing my daughter to I'm learning it for the first time too, because I didn't grow up being able to do these kinds of things.
Speaker 2:Indeed, yeah, I truly believe that confidence is probably one of the most important things. You know what I'm saying. Now, of course, it's like competent confidence and just incompetent confidence.
Speaker 2:You know some people, they just right, but I believe that having it is better than not having it, because anything that you do in life, you got to believe that you're able to get it done, and so I think I think that that's probably one of the most important lessons that you can teach someone, because I know some people that have the skills right in in any given area, but if you don't, if you don't lack the confidence to do it, then it'll just be a waste. But then you have people who don't, who have confidence but not the skills, and they can almost like semi wing it and and figure it out and and get there. So I always say, like yo, if you're gonna choose one, I would say have the confidence. That's, that's where you want to be. And and I could relate to that because I experience and even to this day, a lot of self-doubt. You know I wouldn't say I'm someone who lacks confidence.
Speaker 2:I don't know if I would go that far to say that, but I do know that I definitely experience a lot of self-doubt and I also have a big life and big goals. You know not to make up an excuse for that, but I also do a lot of self-reflecting and realize that. That you know, if you keep your life small and basic, then you don't have a lot of self-reflecting and realize that. You know, if you keep your life small and basic then you don't have a lot of mental battles. You know, because your life is simple and basic but with a lot of the stuff that I, you know, I juggle, I have to remind myself like, bro, you good.
Speaker 2:You understand what I'm saying, like you already, like overextending yourself in some areas, yourself in some areas. I also did this because, me knowing what NLP does, I programmed myself to have a reference point of courage. So not to say that you have to do this or anybody has to do this, but I went skydiving right and what skydiving did for me, not only on a theoretical level but neurologically what I mean by that is like it was an experience that I can refer back to through my memory as well as my body, and the body is probably the most important one than the memory. So now, whenever I'm facing something, I always remind myself could it be worse than jumping out of a plane? You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Could it be worse than jumping out of a plane? You know I'm saying because the the uh consequence of jumping out out of a plane and a parachute not opening right, because it's there's there's like faith involved, there's courage involved, understanding, like yo, this parachute is going to open when I jump out. And so because for me sometimes, um, life is like that. It's like you're jumping out of a plane, like starting a podcast, starting a business, a new relationship, whatever. It can feel like you're jumping out of a plane, and so I think that there's certain things that we can do also to wire our own neurological system to have a reference point of courage of faith.
Speaker 2:Like you know, last time this happened and everything eventually ended up working out. So you know what, I'll be okay, and that's why it's important and I respect what you're doing, because your daughter will have that. It's not to say that she's not going to experience fear, but she'll have a lifelong legacy, at least from the ages zero to seven, which is, uh, what's called the imprint phase I learned that in nlp not to say that it's just an NLP thing, but that's what I learned From ages zero to seven.
Speaker 2:that's the most important stage of a child's development. Like things that happen in that stage and phase they will take with them as an adult. You know a lot of our traumas come from that stage zero to seven.
Speaker 2:You know, and we can use that trauma. I know I to seven, you know, and we can use that trauma. I know I'm going, you know, here and there. We can use that trauma as something for good or for bad. Like you've experienced trauma since four years old, right. Since then you've been on survival mode. You're probably not in survival mode, not now. However, you use that in a positive way. You channel that in a way to get you where you are today this beautiful home, this beautiful studio, this amazing town that I'm in right now because of your invite.
Speaker 2:Thank you again and so um, you know what I my, my wife and I, by saying my mother, my wife and I, what we, what we tell our children when we're building with them, teaching them you know is this is just a tool for your toolbox. The toolbox is the mind you know, and whatever the tool is, whatever insight, knowledge or whatever you know, it's just something for their toolbox. So you're putting things in your daughter's toolbox that she can choose, because life is about choice to use if she, you know, chooses to. Yeah, but confidence, bro.
Speaker 3:I think that's probably the most important quality someone needs to succeed you know, um, when I first joined the military, I didn't realize that my confidence was coming across as being cocky and I was having such a hard time, especially when I got to my first base. You know, I had been on my own since I was 14. I'm now 21 years old.
Speaker 2:And I think this, you're also from Brooklyn. The personality is different.
Speaker 3:It's a different thing, and brother, thankfully and I tell you, thankfully there was someone who was not in my immediate like chain of supervision, who kind of saw what was going on, started to mentor me. That was the first time I even realized that there was a word for that action. I never heard the word, I didn't even know it existed until I got into the military. But you know, just having this person mentor me, man, and just share these like tips, right, and you know it was a bunch of different things. But you know, like, things like hey, like, show up 30 minutes before you're supposed to be at work, learn how to make a pot of coffee, leave 15 minutes late and if there's nothing going on, pick up a broom, and I kind of like just adapted those kind of things because because, honestly, true, like I think I was, had it not been for that experience or interest, interest of mentorship, I probably would have been kicked out.
Speaker 3:I don't think I would have made. It is what I'm getting as far as you want, yeah, but, but, but, uh, but then what it? What it quickly taught me was that you know, like in the military we say like perception is reality, the perception dude, and then, and then, you know, when lp says that too, by the way, perception is reality right so so, um, little things, man, like it's just funny.
Speaker 3:Like, hey, man, like you could stop and talk to people because I worked my first job was like in the hospital, so you could stop and talk to people. But if you do it with a folder in your hand, like it just looks different. So the perception is that you're handling business, but it's just the way the mind works. If you leave at 4.30, it just looks like you're leaving at the time that you're supposed to leave, but if you leave 15 minutes later, maybe you're not even doing anything. Really.
Speaker 3:I hate to say it like that but how the perception is, because all the cars are leaving the parking lot, your car is still in the parking lot.
Speaker 2:it's just things like this man, it's just, yeah, you know, yeah, you know, it just speaks to again, like, the power of, like how you use things, because that perception can be manipulated. You know, like you said, the person could be like not doing anything, but putting the image like the person is Right, and so, yeah, man, it gets tricky.
Speaker 3:It gets tricky.
Speaker 2:You know, and it all goes back to the person. But one thing that you and I know right and I learned this in the nation right a penalty or reward for one's ways and actions is the definition of justice. So to keep it simple, that's karma. That's consequence For a reaction, there's a reaction. So if someone wants to manipulate, because anyone can use these tools, you can use NLP in a negative way. People use the Bible in a negative way right.
Speaker 2:Or the Quran, whatever you want to call. However, none of us can escape consequence and results, or the Quran, whatever you want to call. However, none of us can escape consequence and results. So the person that's staying 15 minutes late was not producing, right? Eventually, people are going to see that you know what I'm saying the person that's staying 15 minutes later and producing, that person is going to have different results. You know what I'm saying? That's anything At the gym. Anything you do more of is going to have different results. You know what I'm saying? That's anything at the gym, right? Anything you do more of, you're going to have different results and results don't lie.
Speaker 2:So the manipulation of the perception can only work for so long.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean. Then that cat's out the bag. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly that. Cat's out the bag.
Speaker 2:And I think that men like us not to say that I'm perfect or anything like that. You got to look in the mirror, you know what I'm saying and we don't even know the effects of that on that type of person manipulating it. But I love that man. If nothing going on, pick up a broom and I know that he's probably using it as a metaphor or an analogy like basically like find something to, to find a way to contribute, and it reminds me of one of my philosophies that I learned, which is, regardless to what space that I enter or person that I meet, make sure that I'm making it better or at the very least the same.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying. But never leave someone or a space worse. No, I'm not perfect. I've had relationships with women that maybe didn't work out. They might say, you know, I'm whatever right. I'm just saying, for me, a universal principle that I strive to live by is anyone that I come, encounter, encounter with, and any space that I encounter or occupy. I mean I'm either going to leave it better or at the very least, the same. So it's like these little things that we picked up our journey of life right, that we resonate with. You know I'm saying so and that's how I strive to live my life and you know so. And you mentioned mentorship. I always say, just from studying history, right, studying how the indigenous people lived, and when I say indigenous I'm grouping them up in the original man.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean. Come together.
Speaker 2:Correct. Thank you. Mentorship was a part of life. It wasn't this thing that you had to look for hire somebody. It was a part of life. The men were with the boys, teaching them the ways and, as someone who has studied success whether it's books or the people that I know- or through my podcast. One thing that I see in common out of many things somewhere somehow there's like there was a mentor, there was somebody involved. You know, for me a lot of my mentors are I never met because they were through books you know, I mean, like I mentioned, tony robbins, you know he was a mentor of mine.
Speaker 2:He don't even know me, but he was a mentor of mine. Sure you know john john maxwell you know, in terms of leadership. I learned a lot of qualities about leadership through john maxwell.
Speaker 3:He was a mentor of mine, so I I think the best mentorship, though, is like face to face, like doing something you know, I mean yeah, so indeed so in the military man it's like, um, that's like a huge part of why we're such a strong military, because that is pretty much ingrained from like an early stage, like mentorship there's mentorship programs and that kind of thing, and ultimately it's just like someone sees a little bit of themselves in you. Yeah, that's kind of like where it starts. You know, they see a little bit of themselves in you and they just want to kind of like, but then it's also up to you as the mentee to take heed, because if you don't, you know like ultimately you're up to your own choices, right, you're up to your own where you decide to put your both, both feet.
Speaker 2:You know, that's why we have to be. A term that I that I learned in personal development world, is be coachable. You know, some people are they, just they choose not to be coachable. You know, some people are they just, they choose not to be coachable. You know what that basically means is being open-minded to number one. Look at yourself and say, okay, what I'm doing, I can do this in a better way or what I'm doing is totally wrong.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying and then be open to the fact of learning a different method or learning a better way. And then you got to do the work to then correct the behavior or put it into practice. Yeah, man, but huge, huge. I think, as a man, it's our responsibility and duty to do that, bro you know what I'm saying. Somehow, someway, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for some of the mentors that I had even like a brother named.
Speaker 2:Respect, respect the law from the nation of God's earth. 5%, bro, as a teenager I would go to his house, man. I remember man Shout out to Respect. Thank you, brother. You know like I would go to his house and he would just be getting off of work, like I remember I would go there.
Speaker 2:He'd be like yo, hold up, man. Let me freshen up a little bit. And now, right as a man, as an adult like yo, sometimes you come home from work, you're tired, you know you want your time to yourself and relax or whatever, and you know he has this teenager that's not related to him, he has no responsibility. You know like and he's like, I'm in and he would like sometimes, you know, make me something to eat.
Speaker 2:You know it would be. Sometimes it would be me and some of my other friends, you know or or buy us something to eat and we would be watching karate flicks he would bring the lessons out. He'll be teaching us like those. Those moments were, were valuable, you know, and we're still in contact. I consider him a big brother and I'm grateful for him. You know what I'm saying, and and some of the things that I really truly appreciate is you know he'll, he'll tell me like bro, like I see you, man, you're doing great work.
Speaker 2:Or like, wow, you know what I'm saying. And it makes me feel good, Not just no stroking ego stuff, but to know that he knows that his hard work, his investment in me went a long way, you know, and I say that with all humility. But it did you know what I mean so and you're still in contact with him, absolutely, I can call him right now. Wow, I can call him right now and he'll justify everything I'm saying wow, that's great yeah, man, his name is Respect from Patterson, new Jersey.
Speaker 2:Wow, yeah, man, yeah yeah, huge so you know I had him, I had others and you know so, yeah, man, so so, even that, it's like yo, like I have to pay if somebody did that for me. You know, I'm saying, and so a lot of things that I do, whether it's my book or when I go speak to the youth, or my podcast, it's an extension of that work of contributing to others. You know, I mean, and just just want to make them or the space better. What else is there in life? But for me? For me, that's the purpose of life, especially as a man like you're gonna be a uh, you're gonna take from the space and not put back, or you're gonna waste, you're not gonna add on. Nah, man, the purpose of life is to add on. You know, I mean, yeah, man, that's, that's the way I see it no, and understanding that sometimes adding on is destroying.
Speaker 2:You know I mean sometimes, like you, gotta destroy the house to build a better one. You know I mean I got rid of relationships and now I'm in the best one of my life. Shout out to my wife you know I mean. So sometimes you have to destroy to also build. So it's understanding when you know and just make sure you have to destroy to also build, so it's understanding when you know, and just make sure you don't destroy the best one yeah, yeah so, uh, you mentioned earlier that you traveled a lot, and all over the world.
Speaker 2:You know I'm saying what's your favorite place that you traveled, and why so? I know it's your podcast. No, no, listen, I love it listen to me.
Speaker 3:I love it feeling you in the house.
Speaker 3:I love no, I love it because what we're having right now is a, is a conversation, and this is how what I envisioned for spark and stride is like oh, is it is the conference, is it the conversation? So sometimes I'm, I'm on the podcast and I feel like I'm interviewing. I'm like man, like I don't want to interview bro, like I want to talk. You know what I mean. I want a volley of conversation. So I'll tell you this. So what I've been blessed with is the opportunity to reflect, and what I'm getting at is that I've been blessed with the opportunity to reflect. And what I'm getting at is that I've been blessed with the opportunity to reflect, and when I reflect on things like travel, I was in different spaces in my life, so the travel or the experience of traveling impacted me like sort of differently.
Speaker 2:I understand what you mean, because and I still want your answer- yeah, sure. A lot of times people ask me as a reader you know I've read over 400 books yo, what's your favorite book? Or even with music, who's your favorite artist? I would have to say it depends on what stage of life you're asking. You know what I mean. My favorite artist now is different than when I was a teenager.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, so I get it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no. So in 2008, I got a chance to go to Africa. I was living in Italy, I was stationed, I was in the Air Force, I was stationed in Italy, so my first job in the Air Force was called medical logistics. They called it a medical logistics technician and you start out working in a warehouse sweeping up and inventories and that kind of thing, and there's all these different other sections of it, you know. So, um, one of the primary responsibilities is, uh, we're responsible for what's called wrm war reserve material and this is ultimately like, um, mobile hospital units. They could be 25 bed, 50 bed, 100 bed, 200, to even like a 500 bed hospital that we would deploy, so we would have to deploy with these, just call them like a, like a huge box, but I mean it's really big and you would and you would go out to like these different areas and pretty much build out the hospital. So I was fortunate enough to get the opportunity that, while in Italy, I went with a team of people from Italy to Africa in 2008.
Speaker 3:Which part of Africa? Mali, okay, I went to Mali, africa, and what we did was we worked with the Mali military and we trained with them, because one of the main things at that time there was that in Mali they don't have an ambulatory service the way we have. So one of the first things we did is we did an exercise with the Mali military and we replicated like a car accident, like a bus turned over, that kind of thing. So we built out this hospital, we worked with the Mali military, we made, believe, you know, like triage and all this kind of thing, and we worked. So that was the first part of it. Second part of it was that we actually went out to different villages and we so it was other military services went out to different villages and we um, so we were, it was a other military services, so the navy was with us. The navy did the dental um, the air force, which was my, I was in the air force, we did the medical um, the army, the army um did the vaccination of the livestock and the marines worked with the gendar, which is like the um, like military police kind of. They did security.
Speaker 3:So it's kind of wild, right, because um it till this day, true, when I reflect back on being humble, grateful for what we have, I I think, I think africa molly dude. Like the fact that we could just I have an outdoor shower, bro, come on, like you know what I mean, the fact that we got running water, like that and I got plants in this outdoor shower, and like we could kind of like bask in the sun and rinse off from a day at the beach, right, but when? But for me it's way more than that. For me it's like, oh, wow, we have like running water and we have electricity and these kinds of things. So they, they housed us in like the largest um hotel in mali and what would happen is we used it like as a, as a command center, and that's where we had all the computers up, that's where we had the storage for our medications and that kind of thing. So every morning, so we had, uh, two buses where they have us housed in like this, like the biggest resort in mali. So what's happening is is like every morning, this is after.
Speaker 3:So the first week was dealing with like the military and helping them like with the triage. We were part of like this military parade. So the first week was dealing with like the military and helping them like with the triage. We were part of like this military parade. So the second week now we're traveling out to these remote villages and we're getting on a bus early in the morning and, bro, like, think, like coming to America, think coming to America when King Joffrey comes looking for Hakeem. You know what I mean, like that.
Speaker 3:So we're moving, like that dude, like bus, what was it? It was like Toyota Ford Runners. So it's like, so it's the bus, it's two buses. And then in the front you have a Toyota Ford Runner, like two, two in the back. Then in front of them you have a toyota ford runner, like two, two in the back. Then in front of them you have a pickup truck with the jean d'ar, with ak's hanging out the back, same thing. In the rear you have another one and then you had two motorcycles and two motorcycles in the back, dude, and we're just moving through mali in the hills, we're pulling up to these villages.
Speaker 3:I'll show you some footage. I think I have some that I could show you. But again, in regards to me reflecting on being like grateful and humble, like it's that experience, and then, of course, like I lived in Italy, like that was like a different part of my life, I was like going through a divorce. I was trying to figure things out. You know what I mean, um, and you know, but, but ultimately, that Africa trip really, like, did something for me in terms of like, being humble and being grateful. So, um, when, when you said I had no clue what I was good at and what I wanted to be that's, that's a quote out of your book how did you figure out what you were good at? Cause I cause, I know, I know what helped me figure it out, but I want to, I'm curious to find out what made you come to that realization.
Speaker 2:Great question Great question. Interesting enough, I was not aware of the fact that I was already doing and what was giving me the results I wanted. However, when I reflect on it now, in this stage of life, it was a training ground for me to get to where I am now.
Speaker 2:I'll give you an example. One time I did a presentation in college. I'm an x-ray tech, right, so I have my associate's degree. That's what I went to school for, and for physics class I did a presentation. You know it was a part of the assignment that everybody had to do, and so I did my presentation. Everything went well. After the class, mr Mamat requested that I stay back. He was like yo, true to me. Let me holler at you real quick. I'm thinking like oh man, you're about to rip me to shreds. You know he didn't want to embarrass me. He pulled me shreds. You know he didn't want to embarrass me. He pulled me. He was like yo, I'm not supposed to say this, because I get paid for from the x-ray program to promote and teach by x-ray.
Speaker 3:He said you're in the wrong field.
Speaker 2:My man, you should be speaking, you should be a professor. Now this is I was still selling drugs at the time. I was going to college during the day and selling drugs at night. You know I just caught a big charge, you know. Maybe when he said that I was like dealing with that, you know definitely on. You know I was on probation. Eventually I got like 10 years probation. You know I paid a lawyer off and got like I also used to do poetry, right, and so I one time was, um, the head instructor for a youth program, all of these things I was just doing. Not really it wasn't focused, it wasn't like I'm this, I'm just doing that, and so, to answer your question, how did I finally like own it?
Speaker 2:because that's all I really had to do was own it. I just came to a point in my life where I wasn't happy and although I was grateful for, like the x-ray field I'm grateful for it, bro it took me out the hook. You know, it changed the trajectory of not only my life but my children's lives. But that was a survival choice. That wasn't a choice that I chose because it was something that I desired to do. All I desired was to do something different than sell drugs and so and you know, you know I can get, you know I can get into why I chose x-ray and whatnot, but I do want to answer your question. Make sure I answer that. So, after all of this experience having some ups and downs and, just like man, some emotional rollercoaster moments, and like I really want to do something with my life, something that resonates with who I am, something that brings me some sort of joy.
Speaker 2:I listen, as a man, I don't believe our life is about joy, so to speak, but I do believe as a whole other topic. So I looked within my circle family, friends that I knew would be honest and I realized I kept getting oh, and also reflecting on my performance that I was getting, like feedback Well, what's the universe telling me? Like real world examples, people, results, and it all came back to some form of speaking. So then I said, okay, what am I going to speak about? Because at one point in time I was ashamed of my story you know what I mean Especially like when I left the streets alone and became like quote-unquote, like a civilian, so to speak bro, go ahead, I'm not gonna hold you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, okay, I'm going, please.
Speaker 2:I was ashamed of my story and didn't really want to tell people outside of where I'm from where I'm from and what I've done. And then I realized to make a long story short that what I was ashamed about was actually my superpower and it came from me, like opening up a little bit and people like, wow, that's so inspiring, that's amazing. Can you come speak to my children about that? Oh, I need, I need you to speak to my nephew, I need you to speak to my husband, I need. So I realized, oh, wow, you know, like, what I was ashamed about actually getting me accolades and you know, it's actually putting me in positions to use my story not only as something to get me further in life but also make a difference in life for others as well as myself. And so I think that it was a lot of life experience and, man, it's the. For me it was the long way, bro, because I wish, like when I see people who are clear and they're young, what they want, what they want to pursue, I'm like yo, hats off to them, because for me it was a lot of ups and downs, taking a long way, when there was a shortcut and all of that, but ultimately I think that I was the one getting in the way. But I have to also acknowledge, though, that that was a training ground for me.
Speaker 2:The long way was a training ground, like even when people say, drew, you speak so well, they don't understand that poetry helped me. They don't understand that poetry helped me. They don't understand that reading helped me. They don't understand that leading the youth program helped me. I was a part of an organization called Extended Black Family Movement and we had to hold meetings, and sometimes it would be my turn to run the meeting College. All of these experiences were molding me and shaping me, and I'm still being molded and shaped, you know. But to answer your question, how did I find discover my purpose? Number one, I finally looked. I had to look what is my purpose, ask what is my purpose, and then look at the feedback. What?
Speaker 2:is the universe telling me you know what type of results am I getting. And then I've done a lot of things, like, like. For example, at one time I was part of a mlm multi-level marketing because somebody met me and it was like yo, true man, you would kill it in multi-level marketing.
Speaker 2:I want you to be a part of my team, you know I mean and you know, and I was okay and I realized like I don't enjoy this number and I ain't really feeling this. So sometimes I think a part of life is just doing things and finding out what is for you and what is not for you. I put in a lot of work, man, to get where I am. I could show you videos. I put in a lot of work and sometimes I'm kind of embarrassed to say that because I feel like, okay, you put in a lot of work. Where I'm in, I'm in kind of embarrassed to say that because I feel like, okay, you put in a lot of work. Where has that got you? But one thing that I could say that I'm a proud of I think that I focus too much on money. Why do I say that is because that's when I start to question that, because I, when I start questioning my financial position. But when I look at another form of wealth, which is impact, you know, I mean like as a matter of fact, to this day, I could show you a text message pull it up right now for your listeners where somebody said, wow, true, thank you, for you know how you impact my life. So I'm learning and have to remember that.
Speaker 2:Number one money isn't everything. Social status not that I'm looking for social status, I'm just adding that one Social status isn't everything. You have to be clear on what is wealth for you, and I got into this not with money being the first intention. It was to make a difference in my community, and I'm doing that, so I am rich. When it comes to that, you get what I'm saying. But now right, so I can create a bigger impact and also do this without any distractions. Right working, a nine-to-five and all of that. This is actually more work. People don't even know A nine-to-five is easy compared to this type of stuff.
Speaker 2:I am now figuring the money piece, though, because money is important. I'm a man, and part of a man's role a woman's role too is to provide. You know, I mean, it ain't about being a creator, and you ain't taking care of financial responsibilities either, so it's finding the harmony within all of that. I always say this quote the two most important days of your life is when you were born and when you discovered why, and I am grateful that I've discovered why.
Speaker 3:Man, that's great man, I can relate, thank you, I can relate, man, I can.
Speaker 2:And you know what I'm sorry Not to cut you you and I mentioned earlier and before we even even, you know, turn the mics on how this is sort of like a young man sport, and I was even like, at one time embarrassed to say like, yeah, you know, at this stage of my life I'm still doing these things. Right, there's a place for us, and I'm gonna tell you why I say that people now, more than, are looking for seasoned men, for wisdom, and you and I, both of us being in our mid-40s, are that, and not just because of age but because of our experiences. So, even though this may seem like a young man's sport, there's a role in positions where we are desired and required to fill. You get what I'm saying. So, yeah, man, we're getting to it.
Speaker 3:And I'll add on to that, because when we were talking about that on the beach, I was driving. This, just this came to me as I was driving. I told you I, in any case the topic came up and I was thinking to myself you know what man like? Whoever, whoever's listening to us right now, because I have people who listen and I may not be millions, but I do have people who listen. I do have people that watch. They're gonna grow with us. You get that part like they're gonna grow with us. You get that part Like they're going to grow with us.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:And we, if we here's where we go wrong. Where we go wrong is if we don't continue to grow within ourselves, where we go wrong if we don't continue to travel, we don't continue to grow Because we have to have these experiences to talk about. You know what I mean. Like, if we're not doing it, then we're almost silenced in a way, because it's kind of like oh, I heard that already, I heard that story already. I heard why he joined the military, I heard about Africa. But what about what comes next? What's the new stuff that comes up? You know what I mean. Absolutely. Where do we go with this? That's the exciting part. The cool part about is that we're not young to the point where we're gonna make tons of mistakes. I think the mistakes are already made. You'll stumble a little bit, but the core, like, you've already built up the core, you've already built up the foundation. I've been able to do the same. You know what I mean. So we're going off of our past experiences, but we're also like in uncharted waters for us, because our podcasts are not. You know, it's not drink champs, it's not.
Speaker 3:Also, we're also in a different space because Nori, mace and Cam and these guys they're, they're working off of a platform, and by do right that they've put in the work. You know what I mean. We've grown up with them. We've, we've, we've, we know who the diplomats are. We know, you know, know. Cam's first album we know this right. We know this. Sex, drugs and entertainment, sde right, we know this. Children of the Corn we know this right. So they're working off of something that rightfully so. They're building off of their past experiences, which is why the fruits of their labor. We are doing the same thing. We're working off of our past experiences. All it takes is one, bro. All it takes is one. You get one to go. Everything you have, all your content, all your interviews, everything comes to the forefront. So it's almost that mindset where, like you're, you're digging a tunnel and you don't figure out, you don't realize how close you are to the other side, and you walk away three feet from gold. Yeah well, I'm not walking away, that's right, I'm not walking away. You're not walking away either. We're gonna keep digging, dude. We're gonna keep digging, we're gonna keep pushing forward, I think what's what is important, though, is that the networking how we got in contact was through a network.
Speaker 3:That we continue to do that right, because here's, the here's, the here's, the here is, in my opinion, is one of the important parts of podcasting. We're both both in New Jersey. I'm in Central, you're North New Jersey, right North. Think about the folks, all the folks that you have spoken to, and think about all the folks that I have spoken to, right? So, in a sense, like we're working together, because you'll go back and look through my content and you'll be like hey, mach, can you put me in touch with that yoga instructor? Can you put me in touch with that person? Could you put me in touch with that person? So think about it. Like you know, I have, I have spoken to quite, and there's a lot of stuff that hasn't even been released, right? So so you get that how we're kind of like, using each other's platform, we're helping each other.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and for me, what's so dope about that is coming from the space of the streets, and I haven't been in the streets since 2006, right. But it's so part of who I am that sometimes I use reference points. So what's so dope is that a lot of times I saw people on the same block beefing right, or even go to war because they pumping the same product right and so, like you and I, essentially we have the same product, right Spark and stride, raw success.
Speaker 2:However, what's not there. Number one is ego, and number two is this oh, I got to hold everything for myself. No, we're both willing to assist each other and we're working with people who are willing to assist us as well, because the truth is, it's a big world out there and that's one thing that I do appreciate about social media world out there, and that's one thing that I do appreciate about social media where it's like you can find your tribe, being yourself. Like you know, a lot of us are saying the same thing, right, but they're not saying it. How macho would say that? They're not saying it? How true would say that?
Speaker 2:And there's someone out there that will resonate only with how macho would say it, whether it's because you were your ex-military or because you're from Brooklyn, whatever it is, or maybe they had a mother on drugs, right, and so I think that that's what's so dope about the space we're in, and I appreciate you because you did when we first met over the phone, so to speak you opened up that line of generosity. You know what I'm saying, so I'm grateful for that, and that's one thing about social media that I will say that I appreciate, besides being able to connect with people that you would never have connected with is also like yo. You know it's a big world and you could. You can organically create a movement or a tribe. You know what I mean Just by being yourself. You know what you know I mean just by being yourself. You know I mean. So that's what's dope about it too.
Speaker 3:You know, like I'm a strong believer in just energy and like just putting out positivity into the universe, like it will come back to you, man, it will come back to you yeah, it's the law of the universe.
Speaker 3:True, like someone could see this podcast, someone could see us, this banter between us going back and forth. Maybe there's like another person out there that's like yo, like I want to meet with those dudes, I want to like, I want to share with them what I'm doing, and we don't know who this person is. This person could be in australia. This person could be in london, I don't know. That's the, that's the dude. My algorithm is Australia. Oh, that's crazy to me. Yeah, so people in Australia watch spark and stride.
Speaker 2:Shout out to the Aborigines out in Australia please, right, like it's it's.
Speaker 3:It's kind of crazy. It's kind of crazy that I wear like a spark and stride hat in the airport and somebody comes up to me. It's like, hey, sparkingstride, that's the podcast, right, are you the guy from the podcast? And I'm like, yeah, I'm like, oh, my God, I listen to you, I watch you.
Speaker 2:Keep going. I can't wait for that to happen to me, and not for no ego stuff, but to be like wow.
Speaker 3:Like the message is getting out that far that that's dope, bro, it's kind of it's kind of crazy yeah it's amazing you know it's, it's uh, shout out to spark and stride again. Yeah, man, thank you, um. But listen, brother, um, you and I could sit here, probably for the next yeah hours, bro.
Speaker 2:Right, we need to do part two, part three, part four and and it'll come, it'll come. Indeed. You're welcome here whenever you want to come here, and I got three more books in my head, so every time I write a book, I make sure that you're one of the first podcasts I reach out to.
Speaker 3:Before we end. That's what I wanted to ask you what is your writing process? Because I'm working on a book right now. But what's your writing process?
Speaker 2:I'm going to tell you what my writing process was, because it's going to look different the next time. So I'll tell you how this book came to be, because there's some mistakes that I did along the way, just like anything in life. Right, when you know better, you do better. So with this book and specifically I had to, as a busy man right, I got a, got a family, I work, I got side hustles, all types of things I would time myself a certain amount. I'll put the timer on for 15 minutes and then start writing. So this book. Let me say this first when I submitted the manuscript to the editor that I worked with at the time I went through like four or five editors.
Speaker 2:That's a whole nother story. But at the time, the book that you see now is not the manuscript, you get what I'm saying. It went through a process of refinement. Process of refinement, you know like, for example, when I wrote the manuscript, one of the first questions she asked she was like yo, what are we doing here? Is this a biography, autobiography, is this a self-help book? What are we doing? And so I had to tell her, oh, okay, this is a self-help book. So she was like, oh, okay, so now we knew, you know what to take out, what to add, what needed refining, right.
Speaker 2:But the process was like this I want to write a book, right? Boom, okay, what's the book going to be called? I had the title of the book. I didn't know that, and that made sort of like a way for what's coming. And so I would just, you know, every day, make sure whether it's 10 minutes or in a half hour Sometimes I had the luxury of doing an hour, not that much I would just crack at it and just, you know, just go in and and and type the words that were in my mind.
Speaker 2:I also had some notebooks filled with thought, thoughts as well, you know I got like a lot of notebooks in the house, man, like written old school some of my composite correct some intellectual thoughts, feelings and things of that nature that I also included within the writing process.
Speaker 2:Without going into boring details, what I do want to say to the people, because a lot of people ask me yo, how'd you write a book? I want to write a book. You got to be intentional with how you invest your time. Everything can get done that you want to do in life. You just have to be intentional and use the resources that you presently have.
Speaker 2:Whatever it is, whether it's a pen and pad, a keyboard, an old school typewriter or your little cousin's phone, whatever it is just use it and use your time wisely. And so that's what I did. And then you got to have patience and don't compare yourself to people, like your life looks different. That's a mistake that I've did in a lot of the things, and sometimes I have to remind myself of that. I got in the habit of comparing myself to other people's process or other people's lives, you know, and the thing is their life isn't mine, you know. I'm saying I think people have to remember that so you find it in your life of what works for you. So I would time myself. And then I took a course called uh speakers boot camp. That also also included sort of like a course for writers as well. Shout out to Dr Chike Okua. It was in Atlanta.
Speaker 2:And so that helped me too, because what that did is sort of gave me like a skeleton of how to write a book. So then I took that, because I was still writing the book when I took that course. So then what that did was so when I took that course I then came up with the titles and then I started to plug things in, because all I did at first was just write, you know, and just just writing, you know.
Speaker 2:And so the editor asked me what type of book we're doing. So you got to be clear what, what kind of book are you writing? And then the other thing was create the skeleton of the book. I already had the name of the book, so that helped, but like the titles, because the titles would then tell you what to write a book write about. And then you have to be diligent with editors, and what type of editors? Let me say this too. A lot of people say what? True, I don't. I don't write well, Fam. I went to Eastside High School in Patterson If you've seen the movie Lean On Me, that's the high school I went to number one, Number two I'm not a good writer either in terms of punctuation and grammar and the way I speak now.
Speaker 2:I worked on myself. I purposely extended my vocabulary and worked on my vernacular. I challenged myself not to curse. You know, these are things that I do to become a better speaker and a better writer. You know, when I would read a book, I would look up the word. If I don't know the definition of it, I look it up. And so don't let that stop you. That's why you have editors. So your purpose is to get the book out. Editors their purpose is to edit. So allow that person to manifest their purpose. Allow that person to manifest their dream, which is to edit your work. Hire an editor. You can go on Fiverr that's where I found two of them right and so I suggest also having. I haven't met an editor that does it all. You know they probably exist and I probably can't afford them in this moment.
Speaker 2:Maybe I could, I don't know, but I had like an editor that worked on the flow of it. I had an editor specifically on punctuation and grammar, and then I had an editor towards the end. That sort of just like made sure that the book made sense and put everything together and plugged in all the holes.
Speaker 2:So even with the book, there's a team work effort. It wasn't true? Listen, my wife helps me edit Instagram captions. You know what I'm saying. I'm good with coming up with content, but punctuation and grammar you know what I mean. I need to work on that. You know what I mean, and right now I don't have the time to work on that. It's just easier for me to get help and focus on what my skill is, which is to come up with the content.
Speaker 2:And then somebody else could come in and, you know, make it refined. Sure, that's what they do. So my writing process is time myself. You know what I mean. First of all, you got to have the material, and the material is in my head, so, and then you just gotta time yourself, and then you do have to know when to end, because I could have kept going sure you know I mean, and so you do have to have like, okay, this is enough, and then understand that you can write more.
Speaker 2:You have your whole life, and so I would say like in a nutshell, in a simple version that's my writing process. Now it would look a little different.
Speaker 3:Wow yeah, dope man, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2:I appreciate you bro.
Speaker 3:This was fun, man, I enjoyed it bro, oh man. This was great dude. Thank you for the merch too. Man, all day man.
Speaker 2:You know I'm definitely going to represent with my Spark and Stride hat. You know what I mean filming.
Speaker 3:Yeah, man, I appreciate you. You know, man, um, I I can't thank you enough, man. I can't thank you enough for taking time away from your family. Thank you from your schedule. Shout out to my wife, absolutely shout out to your wife. Everything that we're trying to do requires the support of all these people that are intertwined into our, like the fabric of our lives.
Speaker 3:Right, our wives, our kids work all this stuff. But thank you, man, true, taking time coming down here you know I don't live close to you. You took time out of your day. You, you were here early.
Speaker 3:Um, it allowed us some time to kind of like get to know each other a little bit, you know, because sometimes you know folks show up and it's right into the podcast, so you're kind of like figuring each other out as you're speaking. But I can't thank you enough, man. I really appreciate you coming to Spark and Stride and sharing your ideas, your history, your testimony, and I know that we can go further. I know it, bro. Like this can go very long Mutually. You know what I mean. So that only allows us the lane that you come back. That's it.
Speaker 2:Right, and you know I'm going to have you on mine, oh all day and you know, perhaps a regular on Spark and Stride.
Speaker 3:There's so much that we can do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, bro, like as I told you earlier and I'm going to say it online, bro I almost cried, you know, like just the whole experience. You know what I mean. See y'all just seeing us on the mic. This was a whole package experience, spark and stride experience. Bro, I almost cried, and not only because of what I was experiencing, feeling and thinking and everything, but also, like me, knowing a little bit about you and to know again I know I said it a few times where you come from and what you created. I'm like wow, man. And then your generosity through your you're just such a great host, not only on a podcast, but just like I'm your guest Sure your presence and I felt taken care of.
Speaker 2:Thank you brother, thank you for doing that for another man, because I think, as men, we need to do that more for each other. Sure. You know, support each other in that way, create that space where we can be vulnerable In vulnerable, in a safe place. I know that I can trust you, even though I don't really know you and met you Right Sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're not friends so to speak. We're going to become friends and we're developing that relationship. We're not friends so to speak. We're going to become friends and we're developing that relationship. Sure, but I just know it's solid. I see the three monkeys you know what I'm saying which is like a value of your podcast, which is like yo, this is a safe space, Yep, you know what I mean. But just in general, our conversations and everything, man. So yeah, man.
Speaker 3:I appreciate it. I'm just so glad that like we got that's fun man, this is fun bro, listen, this will.
Speaker 3:This was good, true, this was good. And, and you know I don't get a chance to do the podcast every day, and and and what I am. My goal is I want to be able to do this every day. I want to be able to have conversations like ours every day and, and you know, there's a little bit of like nervousness when you, when you're first doing it, like for myself, because I'm not doing it every day, so I'm not exercising the muscle every day, if that makes any sense, pause, right, so, um, but yeah, so it just it. It puts the battery back in my back knowing that, hey, this is much, this is you, this is your thing, this is what you like spark and stride, you know. So, um, yeah, man, again, thank you, true, thanks for being here, thanks for taking time, coming early, taking time out of your day. Please send my my thanks to your wife and your family.
Speaker 3:Um, we'd love to have you back and I would love to continue to connect and see where it is that we can make more content together or just just go back and forth with ideas and and and how to like, how do we go to the next level? Right, like how do we get that one to go? We're doing it Right. So you know, baby steps, man. So thank you. All right, you got it. Peace and power. Spark and stride, yeah yeah, spark and stride.