Motherhood Relabelled
Motherhood Relabelled
14. Manifesting Confidence: An Antidote to Impostor Syndrome and Limiting Beliefs 🙏
Ever felt like a fraud despite your accomplishments? You're not alone. We've all been there. The constant feeling of inadequacy, the fear of being exposed as a 'fraud' - that's what we call impostor syndrome. On top of that we're also bound by our own limiting beliefs - the thoughts and attitudes that shape our perception of ourselves and our capabilities. Fighting these mental battles can be exhausting but not all hope is lost!
This episode is a deep dive into the world of impostor syndrome and limiting beliefs. We break down the difference, discuss how they affect us, and more importantly, how to overcome them. We also reflect on the influence they have on us as working mothers and business owners. We're not just talking about achieving goals, but recognising our strengths, celebrating small victories, and acknowledging our growth. It's about reframing negative thoughts and debunking the myths we tell ourselves. We've got some practical tips for learning by doing. We also explore the power of visualisation and manifestation, and how to use them to achieve our goals.
But that's not all! We're also sharing our own experiences managing the unique challenges and expectations of being a working mom.
So, are you ready to embark on this transformative journey with us? The journey to tackle, conquer, and debunk impostor syndrome and limiting beliefs. It's time to become the best version of yourself. Join us!
Disclaimer: Please excuse our swearing and bear in mind that this is an honest and raw conversation about our own lived experience. No mental health advice is give in this episode.
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Motherhood Relabelled is a non-parenting podcast for all parents who don’t let the “parenthood label” hold them back. It’s for those who think that parenthood is a part of us, but not the only thing that defines us. Travelling with kids? Sure! Starting a business with kids? Absolutely! Feeling the fittest and strongest you’ve ever felt with kids? Most certainly! This podcast is your weekly dose of making yourself and your own goals a priority.
Hey Tania, hello Vanessa, how are you Great? That's good. Oh good, so good. It's so nice to have that refreshing change of us, one of us being really great, right? Usually we've both got something to complain about. That's true. That's good to hear. Are you great, too? I'm good. I'm better than I was last week. So yes, i'm great. I managed to get to the gym after a week today, so that's always a good feeling, it is. I've just been a bit cold and coughs and all that sort of stuff coming through the household.
Speaker 1:But you know I'm good. Thank you, That's awesome. Why are you so great?
Speaker 2:Well, i think, so I started this little. It's not really a course, but it's like the New South Wales government. They offer this like mental health support for small business owners and I signed up a few weeks ago.
Speaker 2:So I'm now assigned to this counselor, who I'm meeting with once every week, and she's specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy and it's just been really good to get some more tools in my toolbox to just, you know, work through my anxiety, which have been playing up a little bit over the last few weeks. You know with. You know like I'm working on so many things and I feel like it's great and part of growth is being out of your comfort zone, but ultimately you're also like, yeah, just triggered my anxiety a bit too much, so I'm glad I got this resource that helps me feel better and that respect, and then I've just I feel like I've been making a lot of progress on the business side Like as you would know, so exciting.
Speaker 2:So Tanya helped me with the branch of my new business and it's really coming to life Like the logo is amazing.
Speaker 1:Colours are stunning. They're just Vanessa. Yeah, they definitely do, definitely, and it's just, i feel like you know it helps having a great brief to start.
Speaker 2:Oh, thank you, But no, i registered the business name. It got approved.
Speaker 1:Awesome I registered my domain, so I registered my business email Because with the registration of the business name originally it said it needed a manual decision. Is that right? So that's so cool, So you're wrong.
Speaker 2:No, actually it's pretty quick, you just it's not even a lengthy application. You're just the reason it's a manual decision is because it's my business name, isn't? made up word of two words, so all they have to do is check that it's not against any you know like inappropriate things, yeah, and I think it's like it or whatever, yeah cool.
Speaker 1:Unreal.
Speaker 2:And to be honest with my name, it's pretty like there was no reason that they should really refuse that So within 24 hours they approved it, which is good, how good, congratulations.
Speaker 1:That's one massive step. It's a massive step.
Speaker 2:And domain names and all that too. Domain names sorted, email business email sorted. I'm working through some other legal bits and bobs.
Speaker 1:But yeah, i'm pretty much.
Speaker 2:Next step will be working on some product mockups, which. I will brief you on soon.
Speaker 1:How exciting, so exciting.
Speaker 2:And then I need to find manufacturer and start the website.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cool And illustrator.
Speaker 2:And illustrator.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2:That'll be a big one. That's a big part of the brand. Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1:And very cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and all very exciting And yeah. So that's why I'm just feeling high, because I feel like you know when you make progress.
Speaker 1:You always feel good about that. Oh, definitely, And I think that's it probably leads nicely into our topic of the evening, which is all about limiting beliefs and the idea of imposter syndrome Which definitely, i think every business owner can relate to And like to be, honest, not even.
Speaker 2:It's not about being a business owner.
Speaker 1:I think everyone has probably some what in their life, yeah, during their time at life, it's always somewhere that they feel like they're not adequate or 100% managing. You know their expectation or living up to living up to their expectations.
Speaker 2:And I think it's especially relevant in moments of transition you know where we're going through. You know we're transitioning into our next level self like that might be transitioning into motherhood, might be transitioning to launching a business, going back to university or any like big life change like that. I think initially you feel like, or you might feel like, a bit inadequate you know which is you know this feeling? Yeah, the doubt, and just like I feel like a fraud like I'm not the you know, because there's so much to learn and growth.
Speaker 2:I think yeah, it's. It comes back down to mindset and kind of embracing the. Yeah, i guess, accepting that it's part of the growth journey, knowing that it's normal to feel like that at certain times, but then also reframing to you know, how do you overcome that? Yeah, actually step into your next life.
Speaker 1:That's right, because how do you define, do you think, the difference between, i guess, imposter syndrome and limiting beliefs?
Speaker 2:That's a really good question. I think they're both very similar but different at the same time, and they also. You can suffer from imposter syndrome and have limiting beliefs at the same time. I think they go hand in hand. But I think the biggest difference is, as an imposter, you feel like you're fraud, you're not actually fit to do, let's say, a certain job, job task, because you feel like you're lacking this, because and that's where the limiting beliefs come in Exactly Because you might feel like an imposter because of some limiting beliefs that you hold about why you're not good enough.
Speaker 2:I think it all comes back down to this belief that everyone sort of has once in a while, that we're not good enough for a certain situation Or there's people, or there's somebody who is better than you at it or that holds you back as well.
Speaker 1:I guess that's the limiting belief factor, isn't it? Yeah, it's very true.
Speaker 2:Exactly because once you work towards a goal, you're not going to be able to do anything. A goal, it means usually a step up, and you might have visualized exactly what you want that goal to look like all even yourself. You envision yourself in that next chapter of your life, But there's this gap right Between where you are now and where you want to be. Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1:And that's the part where you feel like you're faking it till you make it.
Speaker 2:That's exactly right, fake it till you make it, and I think it's just about being comfortable to do that, because what I love about manifestation which is something I've been really getting my head around over- the last few months is manifestation is all about pretending. I guess it's kind of the art of visualization. It's visualization, but it's like accepting that you're an imposter but almost embracing being an imposter.
Speaker 2:So essentially, let's say you create your vision board right With regards to a specific goal or a general, like you mentioned, like you're live in five years time like what you want it to look like And you put all those things into your vision board, and a big part of manifestation is to act like the person you want to become And basically, yeah, just show up as the person you want to be and eventually, before you know it, you'll be that person, because it makes sense in terms of like when we think of it in terms of a vision.
Speaker 1:Right, if you don't have a vision, then you're not going to get there. Right, because you don't have that foresight. Oh, it's so important It's the same thing with manifestation that you're creating this vision And you're working towards that vision And that's you in the future. But you're needing to believe in yourself.
Speaker 2:Totally, you need to believe and you need to. You made a good point earlier about visualization. So what I do a lot as well. I like actually doing that in the sauna because it's nice and cozy.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I just feel like, really like I don't know, zen, something to do, something to do, and I just start. You know, it's my form of meditation and manifesting at the same time, where I really internalize my goals and I just envision that person And it's about this energy. You really feel that energy of what it feels like to be that person And that sets your vibration. Yes, that's right, which is awesome. And then you go about your day, But then you know, I guess we're all human And eventually, you know, especially when things are getting a bit hard or out of control or not.
Speaker 2:Don't go to a plan. That's where those, i think, limiting beliefs creep in?
Speaker 1:Yes, definitely, and that's where you can end up feeling like an imposter and feel like, Oh, but actually I'm not that person yet, yeah, exactly Because you're you're trying to get there, You're making your way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, And maybe that also that was one of the reasons that triggered my anxiety. Maybe I did feel, maybe those limiting beliefs got to me but more, and therefore I felt more like an imposter over the last few weeks, which you know is something.
Speaker 1:I think this is. this could be a controversial one, But I think women feel more this like this than men do.
Speaker 2:I think there's even look, don't quote me on it, i don't have the exact stats or anything, but I'm pretty sure somewhere I've read this even scientific research that proves that women are less more likely to to feel like an imposter.
Speaker 1:I think it's probably, you know, to do with you know, emotional things, But I feel like, yeah, there's definitely more of you know, more women feel that, like that, And it's funny because women do typically undersell themselves they sell themselves undersell themselves.
Speaker 1:in design and hospitality, in the arts, agriculture, accounting, like you name it, in any industry, i feel like women undersell themselves. That is so true. Someone once said to me that smart people are always anxious about underperforming, and stupid people are convinced that you know they're acing it. And it just made me feel like this light bulb moment going yeah right, like you know because?
Speaker 2:is it because smart people care?
Speaker 1:Yeah, they do, They smart people care, But also I feel like those with big egos, you know, and and I don't know that the fake is, you know, kind of I convinced that they're they're acing it, but they're. They just have much more confidence and some sort of ego whilst doing it.
Speaker 2:So it may mean implying that healthy level of imposter syndrome is actually a sign of intelligence. Or, as in like probably better, but like better than being this egocentric, potentially, who was constantly faking it, but actually yeah, i think this is just a limb like, a level of like humbleness that goes with people who are smart.
Speaker 1:You know, there's a level of empathy, you know, and I just think that I don't know that the stupid people and they're not stupid, like no doubt, but you know, i just think that they have a level, a different, you know level of confidence they have a different. They've got different priorities potentially, like I just think they're more comfortable in faking it, and why that is, i don't know, but I just think that smart people, potentially, are a little bit more aware and thoughtful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and empathetic Yeah.
Speaker 1:Interesting, No, i can definitely see why that would be true, yeah it's an interesting one And because, yeah, no, sorry, i was just going to say like, because I guess the idea of imposter syndrome is, you know, is being afraid that you're inadequate and that you're not living up to, you know, expectation. But you know that, you know that you also downplay your abilities with imposter syndrome.
Speaker 2:And then being found out. I think yeah part of imposter syndrome, definitely.
Speaker 1:That's true, and it's a terrible feeling. I think like if you do feel like that, i think I think it's like switching it on its head And I it's funny because I haven't really I don't really use the term imposter syndrome myself, i think personally, i've always just thought about it as these are my strengths and these are my weaknesses and I can't be good at everything. And when you switch your mindset to think like that, then you don't. You don't feel like a fake, because you're doing the best that you possibly can. And if you need to fill that gap where you need to be better at something, then you know I'll take on a course or and learn a new skill or ask for help.
Speaker 1:And I think maybe typically my workplace, you know we've, we're very collaborative, so I never really feel like I'm alone in my work and coming up with ideas. Or you know, if I'm struggling with something, you know we all generally will jump in and help each other out And you know that. I think that's the beauty of my organization is that you know we all have different skill sets and we balance each other out really nicely And the play of each other's strength.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so that we can.
Speaker 1:We're exactly right And I think that's the beauty and the sweet spot of why, potentially, we've worked so successfully as a business, because we're not just one person on our own, like as freelancers, just trying to do everything where a skill set like we've got, you know, a set of skills that.
Speaker 2:I mean, you've had that business for like 12, 13 years now. Like, obviously you feel pretty confident and like you had. You come in with experience from before, so, like it makes sense, you don't feel like an impostor.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but there are sometimes where you know you're, you know you're exposed to a completely new, different industry. That's right, or a brief. Or you're actually in front of, like people who you think are just way smarter than you and you're like man, i don't, i'm not on this level, like their knowledge is beyond me, like I just don't even get this Like you know. So when you can talk things out and, yeah, like I mean, lately we've, i've been in front of some super smart people that are influencing, like the government and politicians and, like you know, in the tech space, and that's really inspiring and very cool.
Speaker 2:You know, i love what you just said, because it's that reframing of mindset, instead of thinking being intimidated or intimidating, you find it inspiring. It is inspiring, like that's exactly what the counsellor said to me this week, which was so like the slight bolt moment where she was like. You know, when you before you feel anxious, you usually feel either frustrated or irritated, and she told me, you know, instead of feeling frustrated, or irritated to feel excited or instead of feeling anxious to, because, she said, the brain basically doesn't distinguish between anxiety and excitement.
Speaker 2:It's the same thing I'm feeling the rush, so you know it's about reframing your mindset to you know, choosing to feel excited about something instead of anxious. That's yeah. Well, that's exactly what you just.
Speaker 1:Yeah, i mean, i didn't think about it like that, but that's that is true. And I think you know just being excited and amazed by how other people work and how they think, and you know the power that's in their hand and their mind, like because you know, knowledge is power, and you just think, wow, these guys have big brains, you know. So, yeah, it is super inspiring, you're right.
Speaker 2:Like. I think especially it's the good thing about our industry that we're constantly exposed to things, especially with digital as well. It's evolving, like it's. It's always something new to learn. So I think that keeps us on our toes.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:But let's say like, if there's an area, is there an area in your life like where you really feel completely out of your comfort zone and feel like? I feel like an imposter Imposter?
Speaker 1:That's a tough one. I don't feel like. Like I mean, if I think about myself as a mom, you know we're all doing our best, you know we're we're on the same sort of journey of life of the unknown. So I guess, I guess I don't feel like I'm out of my, my depth there with work. You know, i love what I do, i enjoy it. So it's not like I feel like I'm out of my depth or you know, have, you know, have that imposter syndrome. I think there are certain projects where I definitely feel out of my my zone, or I'm out of my comfort zone, for sure, because I'm learning about, as I said, a particular thing or a particular subject topic, industry. But in terms of other aspects, i don't necessarily feel like I'm a failure.
Speaker 1:You know, in an area where I'm like I'm faking this, like how long can I get away with this? Like I don't necessarily feel like that. What about you?
Speaker 2:No, not necessarily like a failure as such, but sometimes I do find myself thinking I have no idea what I'm doing, you know, and I'm just learning a lot, like, for instance, to be more specific, like you know, with the business, I think there's so much that I've never done before that.
Speaker 2:I'm feeling completely overwhelmed by zone. Yeah for sure. And same as goes for the property investment journey. You know that's. I'm so grateful to have the coach and the consultants to help, because I just feel like otherwise I just wouldn't know what I'm doing You know, you can only learn like so much.
Speaker 1:I'm learning by doing Yeah.
Speaker 2:Which is again, i think some days I manage very well and see it as, oh this is so exciting. I'm learning all this stuff and it's so cool, yes, and then other days I feel like completely overwhelmed with everything. I'm doing, i'm like oh my God, i have no idea what I'm doing.
Speaker 1:I think also that's the nature of the information overload, is that you know, you do feel like there's just so much to know, There's such a limited time and you want to know everything that you possibly can to get ahead. To you know, investing properties, to you know, whatever it is start this business Like, I think there's just so much information and uncharted territory that you're on this journey of And of course that's, you know, a feeling that comes with the learning.
Speaker 1:But I don't think you know, of course you know, with some of the best and most successful business people. You know they they've rise and they fall.
Speaker 2:That's right.
Speaker 1:So that's just the nature of learning new things, starting new businesses Like it's, it's how I try to see it.
Speaker 2:I tell myself you know what It's not like. I'm investing millions. You know what I mean? You know, there was just like something you just. I'm going to give it a go And if it fails, i will have learned a lot of interesting things And I will move on to the next thing.
Speaker 1:You know And I think, you know, starts small and that's it. You know it just do little steps, yeah, And they celebrate those little victories. You know, i think that's that's the important thing, is just those little wins that make you feel good.
Speaker 2:That. That that really helped me, because in the beginning I was like I have this big vision for that business, and I was I'm a perfectionist. So I was like I want to do all of those things, which is completely unrealistic. So now I'm like I'm going to start small, even if it's just one product.
Speaker 1:Exactly. Just get that right first.
Speaker 2:I'm going to build on that. But yeah, i can definitely sense that there's a lot of like limiting beliefs creeping in once in a while And especially, i feel like with limiting beliefs, the challenges they we hold some of those from like forever. You know, like, since our childhood, like maybe it's something that you know the way our parents raised us God bless them Like obviously did the best they could, like not that they intentionally instilled those limiting beliefs in us, but you know, we all grow up with our own baggage like you know what, what we have been taught at home, and I know that I hold a lot of negative or limiting beliefs around money. You know, i always think, like you know rich people are evil, suppose.
Speaker 2:You know like, how, like yeah, or corrupt, and you know like they just got handed to them on a silver platter Or like I have to work so hard to make money and look at money Doesn't, you know, obviously grow on trees like you have? Yeah, but there's so many where I feel like, yeah, anyway. So what I usually do, like when I and what what I've been working on over the last few months, is to really identify some of those, like yeah, limiting beliefs I've been holding on to forever and debunking you know where do they come from? Because sometimes, knowing where they come from, they can kind of you, can, it can take the power away because you, you understand yourself better where you think a certain way.
Speaker 2:And then, yeah, what I've been doing, i'm literally journaling, like I write down whatever that limiting belief is. And the thing is like when you ask yourself, oh, what are you limiting beliefs? write them down, like of course you're not just going to sit there and write down the list of limiting beliefs, like they come up in all, like the most random ways, times and situations. So it's about, I think, developing awareness.
Speaker 1:That's what helps me Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's all I can talk about That's right. Acknowledging it, isn't it? It's acknowledging being aware. You know when you, for instance, like you, have a goal or you're working on something and all of a sudden, like you, you stop yourself and you see that you're switching gear towards negative thinking. and then you know, really being aware, and like hold on, Wait a second, that's not reality. Like, where does this thought come from? Is it a limiting? Is it truth?
Speaker 2:Like because, sometimes that's like it could also be a truth, Like sometimes, you know, and I guess that comes with the critical.
Speaker 1:It's like critical thinking, right You're? you're questioning Like you're tossing up. you know, weighing up the options.
Speaker 2:That's right.
Speaker 1:And frozen cons, frozen cons in your mind, like it's just just all part of it.
Speaker 2:So it's yeah, they can you know, but they, they can really hold you back If you let them get the better of you like and you almost the problem is when you start identifying yourself with your limiting beliefs. Then you become your limiting beliefs. They do hold you back and then you can't move forward.
Speaker 1:Yeah, And that's why it's.
Speaker 2:I mean not that I'm saying there's a better or worse way to do it, but by having that positive outset and mindset, Well, you can rewrite them Like what you do is you write like once you have really like clearly written down like this is a negative believe I hold because of X, y, z And you scrunched up and you throw it away. Well, i mean, look, either you're a spiritual person and you decide to like this, even like some people do burnings they write it on little papers and the burning ceremonies Like look you do you, you do their own.
Speaker 2:But, like you know this, like the idea of letting go, like however you want to do, that you know, make sense the idea of letting go of that thought and rewriting your story.
Speaker 2:So what else, Like, instead of that thought, could you be thinking you know instead? Yeah, So I think that's that's where the real power comes, like awareness and then rewriting your story. Yeah, Um, I like that, to choose to believe something different And then really like you have to believe it, Like really that's not something. You cannot just write it down once and expect the brain that has been wired for. I don't know how many years you had this limiting belief about something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, You have to like with myself. I feel that I constantly have to remind myself of my new story and it takes a bit of an effort in itself.
Speaker 1:I sometimes feel like if it doesn't feel authentic all the time, straight away, but eventually you believe it. You talked about, like you know, it's, like you know, to do with the brain, but also your second brain is your gut, and that's your, you know your instincts as well, So it's trusting that and it feels right And it you know, um, yeah, i think that that comes hand in hand right 100% Like it's. it's got to feel right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, That's why, like whatever, whatever you choose us, your new story or the, and your new belief, it has to feel. you have to be able to believe in it. It cannot be something that to your point like if you, if you don't, if you can't see yourself in it, you're never going to believe it.
Speaker 1:No, that's right, it's not going to work. And that's also an imposter syndrome, too right, because you know you just can't imagine yourself in that situation.
Speaker 2:But I feel like it's. It's a normal part of everyone's life. We all have it. Like it's it's more about being aware, letting go and rewriting. Rewriting the story. Have you like have you got any like limiting beliefs that you can think of that have been holding you back, or any patterns of thinking Um, think you?
Speaker 1:know, i think that, um, I think the main one is, sometimes it feels too hard. You kind of you know, i'm a great initiator Like it's funny, because when you have an idea, i have all this excitement for a new, new idea, new business, whatever it might be, and I'll start already creating the presentation and what it might look like. And then I get to that point when you know I lose a bit of motivational steam and I'm like, oh, it's just too hard, isn't it? Like you know, the logistics of making it a reality is the part that holds me back. Because then I'm like, if I'm not doing it, who's going to do it? You know sort of thing. Like who can I get to do it? Like, or help me to do it.
Speaker 1:So I feel like it's a lot of the time. It's time. Time holds me back.
Speaker 2:But see that that in itself could be a limiting belief. Yeah, Because not to say that? yeah, part of it is reality. You only have a certain amount of hours in the day And you have certain must do's, Priorities Priorities is the keyword, though. I think the reason you're not following through with this?
Speaker 1:because that's right, because if it was really truly your priority, then there would be time And you really believed in it too, as opposed to just being a little bit of fun. Yeah, i agree, and money like it comes down to. you know I feel like when you're trying things out like I'm, I guess I'm lucky enough that I can. you know I understand brand, i understand you know marketing and and have a really general idea of how to get a you know product up and running and out the door. But you know like building an app, building a web thing that you know is, is beyond my skill set requires an outlay of money and investment.
Speaker 1:So you know it's parting with that, with the you know fear of something failing, and I think that would be probably most likely like 90% of people's fear of, you know, when they start something new, it's, you know, investing all this money and time and it will fail.
Speaker 2:So, yes, very much a limiting belief 100%, and I think you know one of the best ways to identify limiting beliefs is, or develop an awareness for them, is every time you find yourself procrastinating with something, yeah, it's usually because there's some sort of limiting belief behind it. Yeah, that's holding you back, because procrastination is like a way for the brain to keep you in your comfort zone. So if you know where, it knows it's all happy, happy, happy days, not difficult, not hard, And that's you know, that's true.
Speaker 1:And you identify them for myself, you're putting off what the hard stuff is that you need to actually get onto 100%.
Speaker 2:Even now, like I have things on my to-do list, especially for the new business. I know like I'm procrastinating because I just, yeah, I have all those limiting beliefs Too hard baskets, Yeah, at the moment I feel like I can't do it, Yeah, And also, just there's other things that are more.
Speaker 1:sometimes you just want a quick win, like to get things done in your day that you know is on that list, and you just want to cross it off, and that requires a little bit more effort, so you need dedicated time and headspace to be able to do it And that's interesting.
Speaker 2:You say that because that's another thing the counselor said to me this week. She said the importance of also acknowledging especially as a busy working mom and business owner.
Speaker 2:it's acknowledging all the things that we do on a daily basis that we don't even acknowledge, like the meal planning the grocery shopping, the cooking, the cleaning, the drop off the older decisions you know, and she encouraged me actually to write them as part of my to-do list because then, even on days, you know, specifically when I look after Theo, and I feel like she basically said, my anxiety is probably caused, the anxieties caused by having wrong expectation not wrong expectations, that's not the right word, but like when your expectations don't meet your reality.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I think mainly that's why, also on days I'm with like I look after 200% is more difficult, because I still have all those expectations of what I should be achieving and during the day when it's completely unrealistic, and then I get anxious, you know, and like frustrated and all that, all of that. So she told me like to write down all the things I do, even when it's showering or whatever.
Speaker 1:So at least I drink my brain into feeling accomplished.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and because they are little achievements, you know if you think about it. But anyway, i thought that that was quite interesting.
Speaker 1:Actually, joel sent me something today And it was just about you know when, in those moments when you're feeling super frustrated, you know your kids are going to do like so many things in a day, that's going to be like, are you serious, kid? Like you know, like not now, please, you know, and you'll get cranky and you'll get mad, but it's like take a moment and actually imagine yourself as an 80 year old person, you know, wanting those moments back, like because you see them growing up and you know you're looking back on your life, which you know it's, it's true, like those moments like that you just think you're so cranky.
Speaker 1:But this phase doesn't last long And they drag. Sometimes they drive you crazy, like every day, and I feel like I go to bed cranky because I he won't go to sleep and it's nine o'clock and he's still tossing and turning and he's like kicking and like all the things he does sometimes, you know, like he does the same mistake over like what is the mistake?
Speaker 2:like, for instance, like earlier he put this like soap, like he puts everything in his mouth like bottles and stuff, and then he put the soap bottle in his and like then a little bit got in his mouth and it's like mate, like you done that before. Yeah, and you're in a half old, you still didn't realize that you can't drink that shit Like man don't yeah forget that.
Speaker 1:Just don't kill yourself. Like, please I know They're so curious and like, oh, and then obviously our job is like just you know, just protect them, you know, from killing themselves every day.
Speaker 2:And also I really have to like every time I tell myself they still have an immature brain.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know all of that. Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 2:I know all of that And I literally go in those moments immature brain, immature brain, immature brain. And it just resets my because when you look at it from the adult perspective, you're there like thinking are you serious?
Speaker 1:Like yeah, okay do this once or twice. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Eventually.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like do you know how many times and I'm sure like every mom goes through it like you've literally just tidied up And like I'd like to have that place in some kind of order, like sure, a little bit of master's school. But like you know, i literally just put all the cars like about 100 of them in a box And then Toby comes like two seconds later and just tips out the whole box upside down And then they're everywhere again. I'm like I just tidied that up like oh man, and then I asked him to come and help tidy them up with me And he just watched me. He's like no, no, i'm like come on please.
Speaker 2:But that's interesting, right, Like I feel like the more you tell them something, no, they want to know what to do already from such a young age. this little kid, I think it is a developmental thing, though, like I think it's a way for the brain to you know test limits and understand, and that's definitely where he's at at the moment.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's pushing boundaries and seeing what he can get away with, like running, running off. You know, which he's never done before. He's always been a little bit more closer and afraid to have you out of his sight. But now he like he'll run off to the other side of the park, yeah, and not be afraid, interesting. So I'm waiting, i'm waiting for him to turn around, i'm waiting, and then he's like, not turning around, so off, i go, run, come here. Oh, it keeps you fit. Oh, exactly, i thought about that the other day. I'm like well, i haven't been to the gym, but I'm sure I've done lots of steps. I should actually have a look. Haven't checked my steps in ages, just on my phone.
Speaker 2:Oh, man, anywho. So are there any like tips or tricks that you use to overcome those?
Speaker 1:negative thoughts. I think it just comes back down to the acknowledgement of them being your strengths, for me.
Speaker 1:Like I think it's just realising that what I'm good at is what I'm good at, and where I have to fill a gap, you know I'll do whatever I have to do to be able to upskill or ask for help. I think that that's my main thing is overcoming those limiting beliefs by talking to people, getting advice, seeking guidance wherever you can, learning, learning And people have been there and done that. You know, yeah, knowledge is power. So I think it's you know, and it is just reframing yourself and your thinking that you can't be perfect.
Speaker 1:And it's funny because there's a doctor who says that typically there are five areas of imposter syndrome And one is, you know, the perfectionist. You know that, you know it's about believing that. You know, unless you're absolutely perfect, you know you could have done better. You know you're an imposter because those you know, those perfectionist traits, make you believe that you know you're not as good as other people think you are. So you know I could certainly have a bit of that.
Speaker 1:You know there's the expert. You know the expert feels like an imposter because they don't know everything is there. They don't know everything about a particular subject, so they feel like they're faking it and they're going to be found out. And you know the natural genius is the other one And you know you might feel like the fraud that. You know you don't believe that you're naturally intelligent or competent. There's a soloist and it's possible to feel like an imposter, like if you've had you know you've had to ask for help to reach a certain level, since you can't get there on your own. So that's the soloist. There's the superperson, which I feel like both of us probably and are a little bit of that, but you know that involves believing that you must be the hardest worker or reach the highest level of achievement possible, and if you don't, then you're a fraud.
Speaker 1:Like you know, you feel, like you've if you, you know, if you don't put all your all in it, then you know, you know you'd best not to do it, because you know.
Speaker 2:I'm not. I definitely identify with that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Yeah. So I don't know What about you. What else, What? what do you think that could potentially help you?
Speaker 2:I think the best way to overcoming imposter syndrome is learning and accepting it as a natural part of the process and, like you know, learning by doing, accepting, accepting it and overcoming those negative or limiting beliefs that can help you as well to overcome your imposter syndrome. Because if you, if you manage to rewrite your story and reframe your mindset, you take the power way of the limiting beliefs, and it's actually it's going to help you, you know, not not only achieve your goals, but also, like, overcome the imposter syndrome.
Speaker 2:I think I mean and because it all comes back to self confidence as well, like because if you can disempower those limiting beliefs, you will gain more confidence in yourself and therefore no longer feel like a fraud or a failure.
Speaker 1:And I think potentially, i 100% agree with the confidence thing. I think the older you get, as well, i think you potentially get more of that you know and you do become more confident. 100% agree with that. You know and that just that's mainly due to experience, you know and reaching a level where everyone's around the same life experience as you or age You know. When you're starting out and you're younger, like you know, everything's above you and out of your depth And eventually with experience and knowledge and learning and reframing, a lot of reframing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like you know, you slowly get up that ladder, you know.
Speaker 2:So I think, yeah, confidence is definitely one of the things that ingredients overcoming beliefs, limiting beliefs 100%. I would agree with that. Well, that was an interesting conversation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, a little deep dive into it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I do. I do think that it's a lifelong journey Like we won't ever stop having limiting beliefs And even if we manage to overcome certain limiting beliefs that we've held for many years, there will be new ones that come up. You know it's. I really do think having developing an awareness for them and knowing what is a limiting belief versus what is actually reality, and then reframing that is the best approach for me.
Speaker 1:And I think the thing is like at different life stages, and even that comes down to hormonally like you know those hormones can knock you about and really change the way that you feel about yourself. Oh my God, so true, You know, right.
Speaker 2:So I think could do a whole episode on how my menstrual cycle impacts my mood and my my ability to perform.
Speaker 1:That's for sure. Tell me about it. So, yeah, i do think that you know, our bodies are constantly changing, our minds are constantly changing. So I feel like hormones, you know, your chemical makeup, like all the things that make you who you are, are constantly changing And, yeah, i just think that we have to cut yourself some slack. That's so true.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is just really a good way to to finish that conversation. Yeah, cut yourself some slack. Yeah, i do, i do, i think like, don't be so hard on yourself.
Speaker 1:Like you know, be proud of your achievements, be proud of where you've got to.
Speaker 2:Well, that's a big part in feeling not only more confident, but also fulfillment, definitely comes from looking at where you start, yeah, where, what all you've achieved. I feel like we, we always, you know, we tend to forget that sort of thing, like we set new goals and it's good to do that, because you, you need to know where you're going.
Speaker 1:But look how far you've come. Yeah, exactly, always, 100%. And how good does that make you feel? You're like actually, yeah, pat myself in the back, like that's you know what a great achievement. Totally So it does. Yeah, it's, it's a good feeling.
Speaker 2:It is a good feeling. Now we got to do remind ourselves more often of that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, i'm grateful of you, know how, how far you've come and you know what there still is to achieve.
Speaker 2:I even like, noticed that now you know I've been on this fitness health kick journey for for six just over six months now, like, and obviously made huge progress in the first few months And I feel so good, like, objectively, i know that I've achieved amazing things. But you know, you get used to that though. The feeling or the like, just like purely looks for an issue. Like in the beginning I was like, wow, I've lost so much weight.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I could really now, this is normal.
Speaker 2:Now, this is the new normal, so I've forgotten where. I've come from You know that's where the before and after photos.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's a good reminder. Exactly Now that's you've done really well. You should be very proud of yourself, and constantly pat yourself on the back And now I'm going.
Speaker 2:We're going to Europe in wow, two and a half weeks. Oh my God, is that? it Just around the corner, so exciting. But yeah, i'm going to probably put on five quads again.
Speaker 1:No, i, that's OK, that's, and so what? And if you do what I?
Speaker 2:just say again exactly.
Speaker 1:You know I just think, yeah, you've got to do what you've got to do. Yeah, you know, make yourself.
Speaker 2:No, we're actually planning a lot because we'll both be working in some capacity. Yeah, and obviously like overlapping some house with Australia and no daycare, yeah. So we do have our families, but It's different, like, for instance, in Germany. It's actually a bit more challenging than in France, even because my parents are still also like everyone's working. They still work, they still work.
Speaker 2:So I've put together this whole schedule because we have to be super organized about when we work and see really where there's time where we need help, where the gaps, and get people to fill in right Because there's no daycare. So My gosh.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, it's going to be.
Speaker 2:I think by the end of it we'll probably be dying to come home six weeks, Six weeks.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's not too bad. It's not too bad, But I think by the end of the look I make this sound horrible.
Speaker 1:Obviously, we're super excited to be going and seeing our families.
Speaker 2:But I do think, compared to last year where we're both off, like oh, we're not working.
Speaker 1:Yes, we're working, and my life is much more leisurely.
Speaker 2:You know that was chill. Now it's going to be, you know, a. the traveling with a toddler is a whole different ball game And I feel like. I feel like he's pretty good though He is pretty good.
Speaker 1:Like he's pretty calm, he's pretty chill, he's very chilled Yeah.
Speaker 2:So, yeah. I've been spending way too much money on all the things that I think might help or save us.
Speaker 1:Yes, that probably will not All the fidgets and fidget spinners and games. Actually it's funny because I even just started thinking about I just actually loaded up An older iPad because I thought, oh you know, do I buy a new thing? Like it's a bit of an old copy?
Speaker 2:of mini.
Speaker 1:But I loaded up with a couple of games and I thought, yeah, like you know, brain training games And, like you know, i don't know, like you know, i Googled top toddler games to travel, but I'll just load up, like it, with more, you know, things that he likes to watch as well. That's what I thought, that's all. It's just the plane, that's the strategy. The plane, three hours, you know, three and a half hours, to Fiji. Yeah, that's, that's the bit that I sort of go. Oh God, he won't sleep.
Speaker 2:He'll sleep Well, i hope so Well. We booked a long flight overnight, i hope, but then now he's not on the best.
Speaker 1:I just hope you're holding.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I hope. I don't know how well he will sleep on us Interesting.
Speaker 1:I know there are those things but I'm not sure if all flights and all airlines except them, but they're those.
Speaker 2:Oh, inflatable ones.
Speaker 1:Well, my friend gave it to me. Yeah, but they're not always accepted, are?
Speaker 2:they. Oh, I'll see Also what we did, And that's a bit cheeky, but at the same time you know, we're all trying to survive here Trying to do our best. So we booked actually the two of the seats. That's what.
Speaker 1:I would do. Yeah, i did that too, and we left the middle seat. No one's going to book it.
Speaker 2:Unless it's a fully booked flight. Most people don't book a random middle seat. No, they will not My friend said like it worked for her, like three or four times It worked for me too. It worked for us at the last trip, but, that being said, like if worst case, that seat was booked, i'd switch. Yeah, you'd swap over. No buddy wants to sit in between two parents and a one year old for 14 hours.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, now can you mention that. Yeah, oh my God, what a nightmare.
Speaker 2:That's so funny And actually one of my clients was like, gave me another good tip. He was like oh, you know, i used to fly a lot with my little boy and. I would go, you know, to the person next to us saying, like, just want you to know like my son has a history of throwing up on planes, oh no, so do you mind If there's any free seat on the plane, i highly recommend you get that, oh my God, and they would book.
Speaker 1:It would work every time, no doubt. I feel like we need to do an episode on like travel tips That walk is so fun. Like baby. one of my friends and I need to find it. I've obviously put it somewhere very safe that I can't find it, But one of my friends, when Toby was born, gave me a handwritten few pages of traveling with a baby, traveling with the toddler, and all these really great tips. I really need to find it. Oh, that's so valuable.
Speaker 2:Nikki wrote it for me.
Speaker 1:And, yeah, i just remember being like amazed by everything that was written on that page. I'm like, yes, like you know, little things like snacks, like take sultanas because they're slow and they you know, eat them slowly, and you know, just things like that. And I was like, yeah, that's really cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think we need definitely do an episode on that one Traveling with toddlers and kids.
Speaker 1:Anyway, thank you so much for a great speaking. Yeah, it was such a great little episode. So thank you again, and thank you for joining us at home or wherever you are listening, and hopefully we'll. Bye.
