300 Episodes. Here's What I Actually Learned.

300 episodes in and for this one, it's just me.

No guest. No interview. Just the 12 lessons I've learned about mind, body, and identity over 4-5 years of hosting The True Form Podcast.

These aren't lessons I've perfected. They're the ones I keep coming back to, the ones that have shaped how I train, how I think, how I live, and who I'm becoming.

If you're new here: True Form isn't just about how you train. It's about how you live and who you become.

In this episode:
- Why settling for average is actually useful information.
- How investing in your health is exactly like investing your money.
- Why outsourcing your health (and your super) keeps you stuck.
- The power of being curious and asking why.
- Why the basics will always outlast the fads.
- What commitment actually looks like in real life.
- How to reframe your darkest moments.
- What the nervous system is really telling you.
- The gap between external success and internal alignment.
- Why being busy is a good thing (when it's the right kind of busy).
- How to build a morning routine that actually works for you.
- Systems over motivation, every single time.

Books mentioned:

Healthy, Wealthy & Longevity - Jon Sabes: https://link.amazon/B04SUPIzs 

Lessons in Creativity - Ben Rennie: https://link.amazon/B04It67Kz 

Healthy Rich and Happy - Jacopo Iasiello: https://link.amazon/B04vgXSKS 

Guests referenced: 
Dr Avi Charlton: https://youtu.be/boN3kYTpazk
Naila Ahmed: https://youtu.be/B26YMs2Zius
Eddie: https://youtu.be/JDchp7puJi0
Sammy Lee: https://youtu.be/PdAvNStOTcE
Erica: https://youtu.be/-NN7I0fh9L4
Cam (True Fitness): https://youtu.be/grUSzxYX2nI

00:00 Welcome & What This Episode Is
02:11 How True Form Started
05:48 Lesson 1: Don't Settle for Average
10:32 Lesson 2: Invest in Your Health Like You Invest Your Money
14:21 Lesson 3: Don't Outsource Your Health
23:42 Lesson 4: Be Curious. Ask Why.
28:11 Lesson 5: Do the Basics
31:55 Lesson 6: Commit
34:47 Lesson 7: It's Just a Moment in Time
38:10 Lesson 8: Listen to Your Nervous System
45:47 Lesson 9: The Gap Between External Success & Internal Alignment
50:08 Lesson 10: Being Busy Is a Good Thing
53:08 Lesson 11: Create a Morning Routine That Works for You
57:57 Lesson 12: Systems Over Motivation
01:02:20 Closing & What's Next

Transcript

Jack L Graham 0:00

What is up everybody? Welcome back to the True Form Podcast and the 300th episode. It's going to be a little bit different today. You just have me and I am going to go over lessons I have learnt from 300 podcast episodes. And it's probably been about four or five years. So if you're new here, I normally interview a guest to learn about their well, our help us find our true form through the mind, body, and identity. But like I said, today you just got me and the lessons I've learned about myself and my mind, body, and identity. I've been doing this podcast since COVID times. I started it in back in 2001 as a resource to give to my personal training clients. So I'd record an episode on sleep or nutrition or exercise hypertrophy. When they had a question, I'd send it to them. But after about 150 episodes, like the first 150 are gone, so I have I did go back and delete most of them. I realized it's not about information. It's about trying to understand ourselves, our identity, who we identify as. If information was the missing key in our lives, there's an abundance of it. We all know that. It would like we'd all be walking around with six packs, millions of dollars, and the happiest life ever. But more and more we don't. So it's not necessarily about information. And true form, when I transitioned into the true form podcast, it was never about how you trained, it's about how you live, how you find the life that is true to you and that you want to live. So these are lessons that I have been using to help myself find my true form and the life I want to do. Now I'm not saying that I have absolutely got these downpacked and this lesson's done and no more. These lessons are just something you just keep referring back to, keep evolving on. As life changes, like if I was looking at these lessons in my 20s compared to now in my 30s, almost 40s, they're completely different. And I reckon when I revisit them in another 300 podcast episodes, like reflecting, they're probably going to be the same lessons, but just reflecting in a different way and taking different things from them. So no matter who you are, where you're at in life, all I'd ask you is just taking the time, listen to my answers, see how they resonate with you, and just dive a little bit deeper. I've been doing this health and fitness, like I've been in the gym since I was 15. I've been a personal trainer for about 16, 17 years. So I know the physical body really well. I know how to manipulate your training, food, sleep, to get results, whether it's physique, performance, whatever you're trying to do. But when it came to like the mind and the identity, man, I just had so many downfalls. I was struggling, like, I have to admit, I had a lot to learn about who I was, who I wanted to be, and finding my true form. To be honest, this podcast, going back maybe 200 episodes ago, started off with me just trying to find out who I am through interviews with amazing people. And it really has helped me. So, and I know it's helping you guys as well. Like last year, the stats on how many people listened to this ep this podcast was just it blew my mind. Like I couldn't couldn't believe the the listeners from last year compared to the year before. So I'm excited to see what how many people listen this year. But not only that, like people replying to the email. Like every after every episode, I send out an email just with the lessons that you need to take away. Like I know a lot of you don't like to listen to podcasts and me carry on for over an hour or so. So the emails are just taking the lessons from whoever I am interviewing that you can use practically as well. So, and a lot of you reply to the email saying how much you enjoyed the episode or the lessons, social media as well. So I appreciate everybody that reaches out and comments about the podcast. I sometimes it feels a little bit lonely just talking to people and putting it out there. You see all these numbers, but you don't know if people are actually listening. So when you do reach out, comment, even just a like on the video, like and just shows to me, oh, that person's listening. So I appreciate you. Appreciate you being here and giving your time to listen to the episodes. And just I appreciate you taking the time to learn about you and find your true form, improve yourself. I I just know I do this as well, especially with my personal training and helping my clients. Like if you can help one person, you can help a whole generation or all the people around them. Like when you when you become better, like when you find your true form and start living a life that is true to you, you're obviously going to be a happier person, you're gonna be a healthier person, and you're just a delight to be around, to put in simple words. And that just improves everybody around you. So I appreciate you, and you should take the time to appreciate yourself and the work you put in to help yourself be that person as well. All right, let's get into the lessons. All right, the first one, I don't mean to attack anybody. I said, these are lessons from me, so these are my words to me. So if anything is triggering you or you feel triggered, or you're like, oh, that's a bit much, then it's it's probably something you need to dive into. I said, me taking the time to learn about my body and my uh sorry, my mind and my identity, like you have to do some uncomfortable work. You have to put in some time to ask the questions that are very uncomfortable. And if you listen to this podcast, you know, whenever I get a guest talking on about talking about this sort of stuff, you you have to go into the uncomfortable zones in your mind and ask yourself these questions. Like, why is that triggering me? Like, what why do I feel this way? Asking like taking the time to sit with those feelings is a big thing that I've learned from this that that wasn't in there, but good lesson. Taking the time to just feel your feelings and understand why you're feeling them. Powerful thing. And you can do that through journaling or just mindfully just sitting there and going, okay, I'm angry. Why am I angry? Being curious, that's gonna come up a lot in this. All right, I'm gonna try and keep this on track. If you've listened to one of the episodes, I have done these episodes before, and so if you've listened to these episodes before, you know I can get sidetracked quite easily. So bear with me. I'm gonna try and make sure that these stay in within the lessons. And I'll break them up. If you're watching or listening on YouTube, there'll be markers for each lesson. But a lot of lessons go into each other, or they transfer I don't know, however you want to say it. Excuse me. All right, first one don't settle for average. And you can take that however you want, but you deserve the best of the best, and you deserve 100% return on whatever you put in. But if you're putting in average effort and expecting a hundred percent return, there's something off there. And I don't mean that you have to always be hustling. Like whenever I say when I talk about this sometimes, people are just like, oh, you know, I don't want to hustle all the time and I don't want to do that, and that is fine, but that is information that you don't actually want to achieve those goals. I'm gonna use the gym, for example. So if you're starting a health and fitness goal and you're putting in average effort, you're turning up, you're doing the workout, in between sets, you're sitting on your phone, you walk away from the gym, and you're like, that was easy. I didn't really put in much effort. But then you are expecting a hundred percent return and you want that summer bod or big biceps, big booty, whatever you're trying to achieve, then it's probably not a goal that you actually want. So it's just good information to see if you are putting in half effort or average effort, it just means that it's not something that you want to do or want you want to achieve. And it goes back to that old saying if it's not a hell yeah, it's a fuck no. Sorry for the language, but it should be like that. It should be hell yeah, I'm in on this 100% effort and expecting a hundred percent return. I'll get into like why you should be doing that later on. But if you're putting in half effort and it's just like you're turning up just to do it, it's just good information to realize that hey, that isn't something that you actually want to achieve. I talk about this in the podcast all the time when it comes to goal setting. Like we are influenced by so many outside resources, resources, outside influences, whether it's advertising, social media, just looking at other people's lives, and we think, oh, that's what I want. So I'm gonna achieve it. And we start it and we're putting in that average effort, sort of half waking up in the morning, you know, instead of going for the full run, go for a half run because it's just like I woke up and I did a little bit. That's an average effort. And it's just good information. Realize that, hey, that goal isn't for you, and that's fine. You need to find out what goals you do want to do. And when you start doing that, you'll start putting in 100% effort and getting a hundred percent return. So don't settle for average, don't put in average effort. Once you realize that that is just not what you want to be doing, and you can put in 100% effort into the things you want to do, you start seeing better results. All right. Lesson two. Invest in your health like it's your money. I've got three books here that I'm going to refer to. First one is Health, Healthy, Wealthy, and Wise. I've had John Sabes on the podcast twice. Absolute legend. I've got to think of a topic just to get him on for the third time, just so I can have a chat with him. But in the last time we had, he was on the podcast, we're trying to figure out ways to compare money. Because if you invest in a even in savings, and you know you're gonna be getting a 5% return, and you put $1,000 in, you can chart out how much that's going to be at after 10 years, 20 years, 30 years. But when it comes to your health, it's very hard to chart your health. Like you're going to get results, you're going to feel healthier, and you can track all the metrics you want, but it's hard to track it out over time like you can like with your savings account. Because if you stop doing what you're doing, you're going to stop getting results. So it's hard because you do need to turn up, do the work every single day, eat healthy, sleep right. Majority like 80 to 90% of the time, yes, 10, 20%'s gonna slip here and there, but you need to be doing that for the rest of your life, but you can't actually see the results until you get to the end of your life. So I'm still trying to figure out ways to do this, like to explain how you should be looking at your health long term. And I think John has the best way of coming back to where you are now and why you should be looking forwards. And it's like if you're talking to your 80-year-old self, I want you to imagine, take the time, spend a little bit of time, like 80, 90, 100 even. Like you at 90 years old, what does that look like? What does that feel like? And what would that 90-year-old be saying to you to start doing? Like, can that 90-year-old get up out of the chair? If that's a no, you probably should be squatting a few times a week so you can continuously get up out of a chair. Can that 90-year-old walk? You should be walking as much as you possibly can for every single day. So when you turn 90, you're still walking. And it goes into money as well. Like, would that 90-year-old be saying, spend all your money, don't save? Like, when you get to 90, like, are you gonna have any money left? And John goes over that in the book: creating flywheels so you have money when you are in your later years in your life, because you need that money to focus on your health still. You still need a gym membership, you're still gonna be needing needing to buy healthy food. So it's like all these disciplines go into each other. So, again, probably tearing this apart and not really giving some good examples. I was gonna give an example I've got in my notes of my own investment, but I'm not gonna go there. I don't really want to put my financial investments up on the internet, but it just goes to show like I know how to be disciplined. So let me put it this way: when it comes to money and working out in the gym, like if I was to say you need to turn up every day, do the work, put in the effort, be focused. Like there's a lot of other people getting results from doing a bunch of other things out there, but you need to stay on what you're trying to achieve. So you need to quiet the noise, turn up, focus on what you need to do, track your progress over time. Am I talking about investing or exercising? It's the same. So those same disciplines go from exercising to investing. A lot of people like I'm probably going on a side tangent, so I apologize. But a lot of people when it comes to people's super, like you know what, we'll go into the next one and I'll talk about why super can relate to your health a little bit if I get back to it. All right. Lesson three. Don't outsource your health. If you've listened to any of the episodes with any health professionals, doctors, I've had a bunch of doctors on the podcast. I absolutely love getting doctors on that sort of go against the system a little bit. It's always funny hearing their stories and their views on the old ways of the medical industry. But don't outsource your health. Like, so when it comes to your health, um, I'm not just talking about doctor. When you are sick, you should still seek help from a medical professional. Like go to your doctor and say, I'm sick, I need help. But don't outsource that help. Like, you should still be asking your question, asking the questions like, why am I sick? What have I been doing? What's led to this? Yes, you're just going to get sick because you know we're humans and we get viruses, but have you been sleeping right? Have you been eating the right foods? Are you stressed? Have you been exercising? Have you been getting a little bit of sunlight every single day? Like, these are the questions you need to ask because when you go to the doctor, you can go, oh, I haven't been sleeping right because I've been a little bit stressed, my mind's a bit out. I am sick, so I need some medication to help me get better. But then the doctor can be like, hey, well, it sounds like you're down a little bit. Have you thought about getting some help? Like, you can go on these all these other roads. So you can't just go to the doctor and say, I'm sick, fix me. Well, you can, but that's just outsourcing your health to the doctor. Instead, take charge of your health, ask those questions, and then the whoever you're working with can help you better. Even when people come and see me and I have a personal training consult with the person just meeting them, get and diving into their goals. And I'm like, well, how can I help you achieve those? And when people I ask that question on purpose, how can I help you achieve your goals? Because people don't think about that. They're just like, this is the goal I want to achieve, do it for me. And they outsource everything they possibly can, like when they should wake up, what they should be eating, the effort they're putting in, like settling for average. So when you know how somebody else can help you achieve that goal, you're going to just understand it on a deeper level why you want to do it. And that person helping you can just be like, all right, well, this is what we need to do. So if I ask that question, like, how can I help you achieve your goals? And like, I don't know. I've got to make that up. I've got to think about how I can help that person. And it might take an extra couple of months just learning, oh, well, that's not actually what they wanted. This is what they wanted. Uh, if you go back to Tien's, I'll again link that in the show notes every episode I'm talking about. He spoke about that. So he's a podiatrist, been a podiatrist forever, starter strata, like shoe company, doing amazing things for your feet. And even he said that, like when he's in the podiatry practice helping people, they hold 60 to 70 percent of the knowledge of how they can help, he can help them. So if they just come in and say, My feet hurt, he's like, Okay, great, what does that mean? But if they talk about how they, you know, when this happens and that happens and the pain comes in the morning, but it's gone by like if you have all this data, he's gonna go, okay, well, yeah, all right, that's this, this, this. I can help you better. So don't outsource and coming back to your super, like here, uh, when I say super for those people listening outside of Australia, that's superannuation, 401k, retirement fund, I guess you could say, your money for when you are super, uh, when you retire. So here in Australia, every time you get paid, a percentage of that goes into your super account, and you can't touch that until you're 60. And you can actually decide on where that money is being invested. A lot of people just outsource it and just hope for the best. And then when they get to 65 and they can get that money, they're hoping that there's money there or it's grown a bit and there's enough money to help them retire. So it's just a good way to not outsource your future finances. Like, you can look and decide where your super is. But when I have this question, like, even where is your super invested? Like, where does it where is it? Most people just go, I'm not, I don't know. Where is it? I don't even know who it's with. So asking those questions, like that just means you're outsourcing your future finances to somebody sitting somewhere or a computer program somewhere. So if you know, even if you just figure out where it is and what it's invested in, that's more than the average person. Again, if you're settling for average, it's just you put your money go, like a percentage of your pay goes somewhere, and you're hoping it's there, I'd say that's an average, like putting in average effort. If you understand where that money's going, what company has it, what they're investing in, that's a little bit better. But if you take the time to understand like investing, economics, people, where your money should be doing it, you can actually invest that money for yourself. And I've used all these disciplines, like again, when it comes to back to John, and again, you should read his book if you're interested in being healthy, wealthy, and into your longevity and later on in the years, you should read his book because he goes through all this. Like it's the disciplines that I have learnt through exercising, turning up, doing the work, understanding what I need to do to achieve the goals, not listening to outside sources and people telling me, oh, you should be doing this type of stuff, or this will get you better results, or you know, this new thing works better. I just understood what I needed to do. I turn up, do the work, and I've done that with my own super account, and now it's sitting at like 33% return, where most super accounts are only getting between 5 and 10% return on their money. So, again, that's me putting in 100% effort into understanding my money and expecting 100% return. Like, I know it's not 100%, like you're never gonna get 100% return in your on an investment account, but 33% compared to five to ten percent over 25 years, that's gonna be millions of dollars. So I I put in that effort to understand it. I expect, like, you know, I wasn't just putting in average effort, I was diving into like John's book, understanding economic. I was going to talks about economics and super and investing, and it pays off. Like I put in the work. Yes, I still have to go back and check on my super account every now and then and make sure, you know, it's going in the right direction. I can't like, and that's a big thing about you know, not being emotionally attached to well, not letting emotions take you over. Like, if you're exercising, man, I'm sorry, I'm going on a massive tangent here, but bear with me. It's probably hopefully it's gonna be worth it. If you're exercising and say you've got a six month program, and after one month, you haven't received the goals that you want or the results that you want. So you put on a kilo and you're trying to lose 10 kilos, like after a month and you gain a kilo, if your emotion, if you let your emotions take the better of you, you're gonna Quit and then you've got to start all over again, and you're probably going to do the same thing next month. And you're just gaining where, if you just had have stuck to the program, checked your emotions, and yeah, okay, I gained one kilo this month, but I'm just I'm gonna trust the process and understand that this is what I need to do to get those goals. Month two, you might have lost two kilos, and then month three, you might have gained one back, but then month four, you lost five. So it's gonna be up and down. So you can't ride those emotions, you can't react with your emotions when things are going great. Yeah, awesome. But when they're not going great, how are your emotions and why are you reacting in a certain way? It comes back to again understanding yourself. And I've been exercising for that long. I just know that these are the certain principles that you need to do to get results, and I've applied those principles and taken those emotional waves out of it to the investing, and it's paid off. Rant over. Let's go to the next one. Two seconds. I need to need some water after that one. All right, be curious and ask why. Like so many doctors, so many health professionals, just so many deep thinkers on the podcast, coaches that help other people overcome whatever they were trying to do. Like they always say, be curious and ask questions. Like we go through life just accepting certain things for the way they are. And um second book that I'm gonna recommend, best example in Ben Reini's book. I can't recommend this book enough. Like Lessons in Creativity, one of the best books I've ever read. Ben's an absolute legend. You should listen to his episode. Um, chapter nine. He goes over how his parents were part of an indoor cricket league. They hated what how it was run, they didn't like it. It wasn't, they didn't think it was working. So they went out and created their own league, their own association, sorry. So they were part of association, wasn't working. They went out and created their own association. And that there is a massive lesson that we need to learn that not everything just has to be accepted for the way they are. When you think of an association, so there's a governing association for the health and fitness industry that governs us all. We need to do a certain amount to stay a part of that. We're just like, well, that's just how the association is, but then it's not. There's other people that have come out and said, well, this is how it is, this is how it should be, and they've created their own as well. And that's what Ben's parents did in the book. Chapter nine, if you can find it, like buy the book and just read chapter nine. It just goes to show that if you just take the time and you're unhappy with a way certain thing is, and you're just not getting the results, or it's just not aligning with who you are. You can ask the question of why is that a not aligning and what do I actually want from it? And go and do it. Where just yeah, I've got a couple of notes here, like social media, something triggers you, and you you don't even ask why, like, and we just accept it. So whether it's oh no, politics, certain way of exercising, somebody might say something to you, it's like, well, what is that like in that triggers you, and you like get real emotional, and it's like that's not true. It's like, well, first ask why is that person even saying that? Like, are they just trying to get you emotionally attached to their content or a certain way of thinking? And then, like, you know, if it that's not how you like, go and change it and ask why. Like, it doesn't have to be set in the certain way. And I can't like that's I'm saying all this because it comes back to as humans, we just go through life doing certain things because that's the way we've trained, or that's the way our parents did it, or that's the way we learnt in school, or that's the way you know our friends were doing it. That's just the way we thought it was done, and we don't ask why we're actually doing those things. And I have not got a really good example right off the top of my head, but yeah, like it's just take it's it's worth just taking the time and figuring out why you're doing the things you're doing. I'm gonna probably leave it there. Like if you I think a good episode would be to go back to Sammy Lee episode again. I'll put that in the show notes. Just all about change. Sammy's story was pretty horrific, and I appreciate her coming on the podcast and telling it, but she just goes over how we do things because we're influenced to do them, and sometimes by horrific things, but you can stop, figure out why you're doing it, and then change it to become a better person. Back one of the very first episodes of the true form, like I think it was like 150 or around 200 when it transitioned into the true form podcast. Ferdy come on, and again, same thing. Like, he he's gone from like 20 years of just crime, violence, jail, drugs, like all this sort of crazy shit. Finally got like got out of jail for like the fifth time and just like I need to change, and he changed. So, like being curious and arcs in why you're doing all these things, you can change. And a lot of time, people like, oh, that person's just the way they are, and they can't change. Everybody can change, everybody can become who they ever want to be. You just need to take the time to find your true form. Don't even know that if that was the lesson of that one. So if you're still with me on that one, I appreciate you and thank you. All right, next one comes from training. Now, if you've listened to any of the episodes with coaches, personal trainers, nutritionists, even athletes, anybody to do with the physical, the body, rather than the mind or the identity. When it comes to the physical body, you need to be doing the basics to live a long, healthy, and happy life. And like this is where true form is actually in the gym. You've got to focus on the true form in the gym, in whatever you're doing, true form in food, whatever the basic true things you need to do to live a long, healthy, happy life. And like, can you push something? Like, literally, just push. Could be a push-up, could be with a barbell, dumbbell, whatever it is. Can you squat? Can you hold a dumbbell? Or can you just get up and down out of the chair? Like, can you pull yourself up? It doesn't have to be a pull up from a bar, it can just be like sitting on a chair, hold on to something, pull yourself up. All these sort of things, like people just get way too carried away on the new fads that are out. Like, I'm not saying you shouldn't do them, like things like Pilates, Hyrocks, pickleball, all that sort of stuff, that's they're awesome and you should be doing them. But are you focusing on the basics? Have you got strong joints? Can you get up off the ground? Like, yeah, it's awesome that you could do high rocks in however long it takes to do a high rocks or play pickleball, but if you fall down, can you get back up or can you catch yourself on the way down? So think about the basics of just living. Can you walk? A lot of people will just skip over walking because it's such a simple thing you should be doing. And like, don't overthink it. Like, basics. What are the basics you should be doing? And if you don't know the basics, just take the time to figure them out, especially when it comes to food. Um, just cooking your food. What was it? Cam from Truth Fitness. Great episode. So another personal trainer that's trained, he trains high uh CEOs, high achievers, all that sort of high performing people. And I great conversation. And the question I asked, if you listen to the podcast all the time, is like if you could get everybody on planet Earth to do one thing every day that's going to impact their life in a positive way or thereabouts, that question thereabouts. And Cam's answer was learn how to cook. Like the basics of just learning how to cook food is just going to help you live a long, healthy, happy life. And you might have to go and get help and go to a few cooking classes, like you would get a personal trainer to learn how to use the gym. But it's just going to make such a big difference. And it might take, you know, like even exercising. I say to people, like, if you're just starting out, it's going to take you two to four years to progress from beginner to intermediate. But taking five years to learn that is going to help you live a lot longer, be active, be able to fall down and get back up when you're 90. So find out what the basics are. And again, this transfers to any like back to the investing. Like, what's the basics of investing? If you don't know, be curious, ask a question, and then figure it out. And if you're putting in, again, average effort and expecting a hundred percent return, then it's probably not for you. And like you just need to figure out why you're doing it and reassess. Like, if it's something you do care about, but you're still putting in average effort, you need to go back to why you're doing it. And you just might need to change the approach. Lesson six is commit. So that might contradict a little bit with the average effort, but might not, might might. I just got commit in there because so many people, myself included, these are lessons from me, commit to something and just don't follow through. If you're going to do something, commit to it. If you say you're going to do something, especially when it comes to things that help you find your true form. So relationships, right? If you're getting into a relationship and that whether it's a friend, romantic relationship, father, son, whatever it is, if you're committing to that relationship, if you're getting into it, commit to it. Don't just half ass it and go, again, half effort, average effort, and expect 100% return. See so many times that people will start a program, half commit to it, again, only do half the half the workouts, half the eat half the food that they're meant to be doing, you know, show up half the time. And then it's like, well, if you actually commit to it, then you are going to see results. So I guess it does come into that average, don't settle for average, or don't put average effort in. Like again, it probably just comes back to, you know, if you're not committing to it, it's probably not something that you want to do. So don't waste your time. If it's not a hell yeah, it's a fuck no. Don't do it. And commit to something else. And it's fine. Like a lot of like again, back to relationships. Like when you've got all these friend relationships and you know, things are starting to get a bit stressed, you're trying to achieve different things. Like it's hard to maintain those relationships. And it's okay to say no to certain relationships and say yes to others, because sometimes it's gonna be like, Oh, I just said yes because I felt like it was the right thing to do, and then you're just putting half effort into that person or average effort, they're gonna see it, they're gonna notice it and be like, Oh, Jack's a bit of a dick, he doesn't really want to be here. So, like, I'd rather just say hell yeah to the people I want to hang out with and hell no to the people I don't. Hard lesson to learn to say no to actual people. So commit lesson six. Don't know if that works. All right, this one comes down to maybe journaling, meditation, things I've learned from just spending time within myself and understanding time as it progresses. Like, we all go through shit moments, right? You're gonna have times in your life where you're in a dark place and like you're unhappy, you're sad, probably depressed, maybe you have anxiety, but it's all a moment in time, but you don't just you don't realize that it's it was probably good before that and it's gonna be good after that, but you just can't see it because you're in it. So, this is where journaling, taking the time to meditate and reflect, even just reflecting on photos on your phone and going back like the previous year. So if you're it right now, I'm talking to you. If you're going through a shit time, you feel like no one cares, no one loves you, right? I love you, I care about you. But just go back 12 months on your phone and look at the photos that you took 12 months ago. I bet you it was a completely different time. And like whether you were a little bit happier, it's still better than what you are now, but it just goes to show that right now it's just a moment in time that's gonna pass. You just need to give it time, reflect on what is going on, understand what is going on. So then when you go and get help, and you should get help to get out of that, because we all need help sometimes. When you go and get help, you can talk to the professional about what you're going through, and they can help you a little bit faster to get you out of it. So this is a lot of people do like, oh, journaling's not that great. Maybe you don't have to journal every day, but maybe once a week, just jot down how you're feeling. Like I love to do that every now and then, uh, just jot down how I'm feeling, or I'll take a certain photo. You can even talk to yourself, email yourself just once a month about how you're feeling, what's happened. Just like monthly reflections are just underrated, and we don't do them enough. Like with some of my coaching clients, like I'll get them to do monthly check-ins because of this reason. Because sometimes you're gonna be working out and just like, oh, nothing's really working, it's not working. I've done all the work, you know. It I just don't feel happy within my body and this and that. But if you can reflect back on the last few months, you're like, oh, but that other month was great. And then, like, when you when you're in a good time and you look back at those bad times, it's even better because you're like, oh shit, that was a real bad time. But over the last couple of months, I've achieved so much and I'm in such a good place. So that pumps you up even more and realize you then next time, and there's gonna be a next time, you get in those low moments, you you just have that knowledge that it's this is just a moment in time. Yeah, it's shit. I'm gonna get some help, I'm gonna get out of it, I'm gonna talk to my friends and family. Like again, if you are that person and you need some help, you feel like shit, you feel like no one loves you, people around you do care about you, so go and talk to them. And each time you do that, it's a little bit easier to talk to them again. So yeah, it's just a moment in time, it'll pass, but you need to talk and get some help. Alright. I'll try and bring it back out of that. The nervous system. As I spoke about in this whole episode, like I know my b like, I know how to manipulate the body. Like I can get you stronger, I can build more muscles, I can get you leaner, can lose body fat. But I'd had until I started this, like I knew like everybody's heard of the nervous system. Like we know what we know what the nervous system is. I'm using quotation marks for those that are listening. Like, you've heard it, it's like, yeah, yeah, the nervous system's in the body, it does stuff. But until I actually got people on, like Nyla as well. Nyla, sorry, Nyla, always get your name wrong. Nyla has been on the podcast a couple of times. Absolutely love her. And she's just so knowledgeable about the nervous system. And it wasn't really until I had her on for the first time, I was like, oh shit, okay, there's something here that I need to be paying attention to, not just for myself, but for my clients as well. So the nervous system just governs everything. So if you're working, you're stressed, you're not eating right, you're not sleeping right, your nervous system is gonna hold on to that. And then if you're adding heavy workouts or hard workouts, high rocks, even trying to push as hard as you possibly can in Pilates or some yoga, something is gonna give. And I see it all the time. People will get injuries like or just niggles in their body, and it's like, oh, that niggle won't go away. But it's not the training you're doing, it's not the overloading from training. People just go, oh, I'm training too hard, I need to rest. Yeah, you need to rest, but it's probably not from training. People just accuse training that you know, when I've got a sore shoulder, oh, it must just be the training I'm doing, so I'll just rest from the training. But they don't think about what is happening in the rest of their life and what their nervous system is holding on to. So now for me, I'm just trying to ask more questions when those little niggles come up. Excuse me. In my clients, I'm asking those questions, what's going on? Have you been sleeping right? How's work? Like, have you been eating? Is it is it something stressing you out? Like it could be the fact that they're trying to stick to their routines so hard and so diligently that it's stressing them out that is causing their nervous system to overreact. So, and like Nala has Nyla has some great examples in her episode. So go back and listen to that again, link it in the show notes. But just how if you're trying to achieve a certain goal or physique goal in the gym and you're on social media, it's like you're comparing yourself to these unachievable goals because it could be a completely different body type to you. And that's just triggering triggering your nervous system to realize that you know this goal is stressing you out, and you're trying to achieve this goal, but then you're still flicking on social media, stressing yourself out without even realizing about that goal, and it's just a continuous loop. And then the end result is like thinking about that goal or trying to achieve that goal is stressing, is just stressing, which is gonna hold more body fat, more fluid. It's gonna be you're gonna be more injury prone. So, like again, nervous system is very important to pay attention to, and it really does taking take understanding your mind, your body, and your identity to help your nervous system relax. And that's when going to like coaches like Nyla to help with your nervous system to understand it is very important. Uh, and again, could be relationships as well. Like, I've just got a whole list of things that could be triggering or that you could be holding in your nervous system, and some good easy things that I've learned to like I I'm very bad at this. Like, I love working, I love this podcast, I love working out hard. So, for me, my nervous system can get quite tense and I can get injuries and niggles, but I'm just getting better at spotting those. But a few things that I have understood that I need to do to help my nervous system is reducing caffeine intake, reducing alcohol, reducing shit food, um, moving my body just in a smarter way. So when people think of rest days, oh, I just need to rest and recover. Resting isn't sitting on the couch, eating shit food, watching Netflix for a day. That's just making things a whole lot worse, and that is not recovery. That is just gonna make your body feel like shit, and it's probably gonna stress out your nervous system without even you realizing it. So just starting to understand what helps your nervous system. So for me, walking, like out in nature, just going for a walk, not listening to something like again, this is me just projecting my lessons onto you, not having something in your ears 24-7. Like we're talking to people, we work with people, and then on our way home from work, we've got like music or podcast or radio playing in our ears, we get home, we watch TV, and then like we're talking, all this in, and then we go to bed, and then we wake up, put something on, get on social media, then you're on your way to work, you're still scrolling, or you're listening, and then you get to work, and it's just a constant repeat of just 24-7, something coming into your ears. When was the last time you just sat on public transport or sat in a car or just went for a walk without listening to something, or without airbod, air pod air, air pods in your ears or ear earmuffs? Like we're always listening to something, and I was guilty of this as well. So now I just choose my time. When I actually have an input. Like even workouts now, I'll just won't have anything and I'll just listen to my body, listen to my thoughts and work out. And when you can learn how to work out hard in that scenario, just on a side tangent, you're going to get crazy results. Um, but just taking the time to just not listen to something, just listen to your internal thoughts. And you could call that meditation, but like I just call it just not listening to something. It's not meditation, breathing, right? Breath work, you can just type in on YouTube breathing. Uh, one of the best ones I've learnt uh on YouTube is Andrew Huberman breathing. And uh can't remember who he has on the podcast, but it's just a it's like a five-minute breathing technique, and it's probably one of the easiest things you can do. It's just breathing to a cadence in and out. Like all you're doing is breathing in and out, and it can relax you, brings your nervous system down, helps your HRV, just and then you can progress into other breathing techniques, but like breathing is just so underrated, and it can control your nervous system. So we're always like and that it's in the shoulders and it's stressed, so we never really breathe in our belly where it can relax your nervous system. So breathing is a really good thing, and again, just focusing on the basics, eating good food, simple exercises, simple things, basics. Listen to your nervous system. All right, this one is hard to articulate depending on where you're at. Like it hits in different ways. So it's the gap between external success and internal alignment. So again, when people hear that, the gap between external success and internal alignment. Eddie's probably the best one to refer back to. Again, I've had Eddie on the podcast. Um, a few amazing guests talk about this. Erica as well. She was absolutely amazing on this topic. When you feel like you're succeeding and you're achieving your goals, but you're still unhappy, and you're like, oh, something's missing. And that could be in relationships as well. Like, you could be in a relationship and you're like, this is a great relationship. She, he, whoever is awesome, but I feel unhappy, or like I look great, but internally I'm just not happy. Like, I'm going to the gym trying to chase this thing, but I can't find happiness with whatever I'm chasing. Like, that's external success. So you could you might have the perfect life. Like you might have the wife, the kids, the nice house, the car, all that sort of stuff. And it's like, wow, this life is awesome, but I'm not happy. Like, that's external success not lining up with your internal alignment. And I'm not saying that you should like leave that life behind, leave your wife and kids. I'm like, find out what is missing within you. A lot of the time we are looking for validation or filling gaps from external things, and you can't, it's just like a mirror. So if you're projecting, like if you're unhappy with your surroundings, it's not the surroundings, it's something internal. It's just a it that is just a mirror reflecting what you are missing. And like this is very hard. Like, this is one of those ones where you need to do that internal work, and it's shit to do because you have to ask yourself shit questions that make you unhappy and question everything you ever believed and who you are. But if you stick with it and do the work, it just gets better and better. Like, again, this is probably where you do need to get a little bit of help to go through these. I'm lucky enough to have, like I said, amazing people come on the podcast, like Eddie. Like a lot of the time, after Eddie's been on twice, and every time we talk, we end up talking for about an hour after we record because he's just coaching me through some shit. Sammy Lee is another one, but a lot of the coaches I get on that talk about this sort of stuff, we end up talking more and more about it. So, you guys appreciate you a lot because it's helped me a lot. Like a lot of the time, especially with this podcast, sometimes I get imposture syndrome or whatever you want to call it. Like, I feel like again, you look at the numbers, I'm like, fuck, this podcast is absolutely amazing. So successful, but I don't feel the success. And it's me just projecting, thinking that the numbers, the money, all that should be my success. But at the end of the day, I just fucking love talking to people, finding out their stories, figuring out the lessons from whatever they're trying to teach or what they've been through, so I can improve my life and I know it's going to help you as well. So that's what I love doing. And again, it's taken a few coaches to help me realize that. And now I just like it just changes. Like my external success comes from internal alignment, not the other way around. So don't know if I again it's very hard to explain unless you've actually been through it or understand it. But like if you're succeeding in some way but still feeling lonely or like you're not succeeding, and I had a few questions. I put this, I put that out in a question box on social media like a week or two ago, and two or two people replied with something along the lines of this like they're achieving things, it feels great, but it feels lonely at the same time. So it's like, yes, still work on those things. You need to be pushing and achieving things, and I do believe as humans, we need to be moving forwards with some sort of goal, whatever it may be, but it needs to come from internal, not external. Go back to listen to Eddie's episodes, they were great. Alright, that leads into the next lesson. Being busy is a good thing. Um for me, like I got in a bit of a dark spot for a little while there because I was just going through the motions, like I was just doing things for the sake of doing things, like podcasts included, working outs, work, personal training. Absolutely love doing them all. Like I've said, I love working with clients, I love doing this podcast, and I really enjoy working out, but I was just doing them, I wasn't achieving anything, I didn't really have any goals, and it just gets you down because like what are you working towards? Again, like it comes back to the previous lesson of like I'm doing all these things. It looks like I'm successful, but like I'm just doing them. So understanding, taking the time to figure out what you want to do helps you find things that you can work on that brings more passion, more life, more excitement into your life that you want to wake up every morning. So I I think these two lessons go in with each other. But when you can start finding things that you're passionate about and you want to work on, and it could just be, you know, building some Lego to building a building, like whatever it is, anything in between, like whatever fires you up and gets you out in the morning, that want like that gives you energy so you can live a true life, then do it. But when you'd haven't got that and you're not busy and you're just turning up every day, like just going day in, day out, like I spoke about this with a guest just the other day. Like, I my worst fear for people, and why I do this is because I don't want you to wake up when you're 70 and go, oh shit, what just happened? Like I was just 21 and then I turned around and I was 70. I don't want you to just turn up every day, go through the motions, do it the next day, turns into a month, turns into a year, turns into a decade, turns into a lifetime, and then yeah, you're 70, and you're like, oh shit, like what just happened? Like that's like I don't want you to do that. I want you to live the perfect life that you want. So find things that fire you up, take the time, learn those lessons, do the internal work that comes from in here rather than external work and external influences. And trust me, you're not gonna be putting in average effort and expecting a hundred percent return. You're going to be putting in a hundred percent effort no matter what, because it's what you want to do, and you don't care about well, outcomes are important, but like you're just gonna want to turn up and do it because it like I said, fires you up. All right, we're getting there. Create a morning routine. Whenever I say this, people are like, okay, gotta get up, exercise, ice bath, ice shower, run this, exercise lift that, eat this, fast, this supplement. And it's like, well, no. You just need to find a morning routine that gets you up and gives you energy for the day. That's the third book. Where is it? Third book recommendation. I'm gonna link all these books in the show notes so you can get yourself a copy. These three books, I don't know. I'd go lessons in creativity, read John's book, Healthy, Wealthy, and Longevity. And then Gicapo's book. Absolute legend, great episode. Again, I'm gonna link his episode and this book in the show notes. Um, like he dives into real estate investing in the rich part. Like, you can still use those lessons from real estate investing into you know, investing in your real life, but the main one I really want you to focus on is the morning routine. He just explains it in a way that makes sense. Like you need to create some sort of routine in the morning that gives you energy for the day. And honestly, it doesn't have to be cold showers, stupid diets, stupid workout routines. It's whatever gets you out of bed and just gets you into the day. I don't want to give too many examples because again, people are like, okay, I've got to do it all, I've got to journal, I've got to meditate, I've got to do this. And Jacapo does go into all that in his book. But like for me, like simple things. Wake up, glass of water, and then I just literally for 10, I've just been using my Lumiflex in the morning. Silly little plug here. But the Lumiflex is a red light therapy device that I put on my body. Again, super good because it's portable and can go anywhere and goes on your body anywhere, but it does 10-minute sessions. So I put this on my body, drink my tea, coffee, whatever I'm drinking, sit there, think, no inputs, and that's pretty much my morning routine. But it fires me up for the day. Like I just get time to sit down, think about my thoughts, whatever comes. Like I'm not really what do you call it, manifesting the day or anything like that. I'm just sitting there thinking with my red light for 10 minutes, drinking a tea, and that's my morning routine. It's not some crazy, stupid thing that you have to spend three hours getting ready for in the morning and wake up at 4 a.m. It's no, just sitting there thinking with some red light and a tea. That's it. Bit of glass, a glass of water beforehand, obviously. But that's all my morning routine is, and I love it, and that's what gets me ready for the day. It stops me jumping on my phone, scrolling on social media straight away. So by the time all that wraps up, I haven't been on my phone for about half an hour to an hour because a lot of the time I wake up to messages from clients, which is fine. Like, you know, they can message me anytime. I'm not going to reply straight away, but emails for the podcast, messages from clients, notifications for whatever. So I don't get all that straight away. So I'm not stressed straight away. I'm easing into my day, and that's what helps me get the day going. But it's simple glass of water, tea or coffee, red light therapy, 10, maybe 20 minutes, two sessions of this, maybe, and that's it. Like I think it's just overcomplicated, but you just need to figure out what works for you. Now, why that's important, why you need to figure out what works for you, because that's what you're going to start your day with. If you just wake up, you know, again, waking up at the same time every day is very important. You should do that, but just like whatever gets you out of bed and into the day. It could be exercising, it could be running, it could be an ice bath, does not matter. Whatever wakes you up in the morning and eases you into the day or gets you excited for the day, that's what the morning routine should be. I had that in there because I've tried so many different ways. Like even his Jaco's book and many different guests talking about how you should start your morning. And I've tried them all, and I've realized that it just whatever works for you, you should be doing. And figure it out. It might take a couple of months, a couple of trial and errors. The ice bath, ice shower might be for you, might not, and that's okay. All right. If you've been listening for a while, last lesson, I promise. Been going for almost an hour, so I'll start wrapping this up. If you've been listening for a while, for like probably a hundred episodes, maybe 50, 100 episodes, I was asking each guest the difference between motivation and discipline. Because I really wanted to understand that, not just for myself, but for my clients as well, because it's awesome that people get motivated to come into the gym, want to work out, want to improve themselves, want to get stronger, look better, whatever that gets them in the gym. But that motivation disappears quite quick. And that's the thing. Without motivation, what are you going to do? So you really need to put systems in place. So when you are motivated, you're working on the systems, not the goal. So sort of, you gotta again turn it around and put in systems. Like I think this is excuse me, what I've been trying to talk about the whole thing, like systems when it comes to investing in your health, money, nutrition, whatever it is, it's systems, it's habits that you need to be putting in place. Excuse me. So what when you get started on a goal, again, it comes back to how can I help you achieve those goals as your personal trainer? How can I help you achieve them? And when you say this, this and this, okay, well, let's build on systems to then go and do it. Where again, somebody comes into me and I say, How can I help you? And I don't know. Then I've got to try and figure out all these systems that they're going to stick to. And by the time I figure it out, motivation's long gone. And I'm trying to drag them back into the gym or trying to motivate them, which is very hard to do. So, because motivation comes internally, and if you're relying on external motivation, it disappears even faster. So, putting in systems and working on the systems when you are motivated. So, what are systems? Systems are, you know, waking up or booking your workouts in. Like I always say to this to people, just in your calendar, or don't even have to have a calendar, just say Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, 1 p.m. That's when I work out. That's my workout time. Okay. So we've got a time that you're going to turn up. You've got a system, you're going to have a workout program that you're going to stick to. Great. That's what you do every single Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. So they're your systems. And then obviously that's very simple, but it might just be again morning routines. Wake up, have a glass of water. That's going to improve your health and wellness. Or it might be a walk. Like instead of um getting driving or public transport, like you might walk off halfway or park further away so you can walk more. Systems, so you can start walking a little bit more. So while you're motivated, hell yeah, I'm going to park further away and walk more and get those steps in. And so you build those systems. So when you're like, oh, it's raining. I don't really want to work, but it's what I do. So I'm just going to walk it a little bit further. So just finding those systems. Again, this is where you've got to, you know, take the time to figure out how can I help you? Like when somebody, when you're chasing that goal, you go to them and they say, How can I help you? You understand what is happening and how you do it. And again, that's a lesson I've been learning for myself. Like just instead of just going, okay, this is what I want to achieve with the podcast or relationships or physically, whatever. It's like, okay, well, how do I do like how can somebody help me do that? And again, that's from through me talking to all these guests, both on the podcast and after recording or before recording. It's going, okay, well, this is how this is what I want to do. This is how I want to achieve it. This is how I think I should achieve it. Like, what do you think? And getting those answers. So again, systems over motivation. Use motivation to get started, but work on the systems rather than oh, like we all all have that picture of what we want to achieve in the end. And again, that can be in the gym, financially, whatever it is. But like, what are the systems you need to be doing? What habits do you need to be doing to then achieve that goal? Whew. All right. I think that was 12 lessons from over 300 episodes. I think it was just combined into the one lesson. So if you're still here at the end, again, appreciate you. Thank you for listening. Even if you listened to last this episode or the last 10, 100, 300, appreciate you all. I'll see you in the next episode. I am, I can't wait for the next 300 episodes. Even just now, got some amazing guests coming out for you guys. Motivating me. So I hope it motivates you so we can start working on those systems. See you in the next episode.