66. Healing & Building Together: Feminine-Led Entrepreneurship with Lauren McFarlane and Janice Joseph.

In this episode, Rebecca chats with another best friend business duo! Lauren and Janice are the founders of KYIS Aesthetics but before they were business partners, they were best friends. They came on here to share the personal development and healing journey of starting a meaningful business with your best friend. From beginning to end, they spoke from their hearts as they explored the themes of healing together through practicing boundaries in their friendship and with their roles as business owners along with maintaining clear communication through the difficult moments. The duo gives us an insight on the experience of choosing an unconventional path for running a business - doing it from the feminine-led essence. They share their personal journeys with burnout and defaulting to society's expectations of working from a masculine energy and how they have learned to drop more deeply into the feminine so they can find pleasure and beauty in their personal and professional lives. The conversation explores the nuances of running an online business with social media and how to make it work for you - doing it in a way that is authentic to your expression and safe for your nervous system. This episode is dripping with nectar. Get in bestie, we're building a f*cking business. 

KYIS Aesthetic is the home of the beautiful disasters, the chaotic creators, and the uncensored storytellers. Because real people aren’t perfectly curated, we’re a bit rough around the edges. To live is to be imperfect- to sometimes be cynical, wild, or completely unhinged. At KYIS, we celebrate the fact that we aren't perfect, because we don't want to be. KYIS Aesthetic was founded in 2024 by Lauren McFarlane and Janice Joseph, two best friends with a shared belief in the power of truth and self-acceptance. Inspired by their journey of self-discovery and acceptance, Lauren and Janice decided to channel their experiences into a creative project to connect with people on the same journey.

Connect with Lauren and Janice

https://kyis.shop/

https://www.instagram.com/kyis.aesthetics/

https://www.instagram.com/laurenlightbeam

https://www.instagram.com/astrohautelife

Brand Affiliates

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Chapters

• 2:49 The Impact of Trauma and Courage
• 6:01 Lauren and Janice's Meet-Cute
• 9:00 Choosing Friends Consciously
• 12:08 The Journey to Business Partnership
• 15:03 Starting an E-Commerce Business Together
• 19:01 The Journey of Creative Entrepreneurship
• 21:51 Authentic Expression and Self-Awareness
• 23:51 Navigating Fears in Business Partnerships
• 29:58 Establishing Boundaries in Business
• 37:05 Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energies
• 49:31 Embracing Beauty in Everyday Life
• 50:24 The Healing Power of Emotions
• 54:45 Navigating Business and Friendship
• 55:45 The Realities of Social Media Marketing
• 1:10:08 Advice for Friends in Business

Transcript

Rebecca Espinoza (00:00.578)
Hello, welcome Lauren and Janice. Thank you so much for being here. I know it took a little bit of navigating for us to get here together. So I really appreciate you, your flexibility and just, yeah, saying yes to being in this container and sharing your story and your voices for the Vita community.

Lauren McFarlane (00:19.037)
Thank you so much for having us. We've been really excited to do this.

Rebecca Espinoza (00:22.508)
Yay! Before we get started, do you want to share where you're tapping in from, where in the world?

Lauren McFarlane (00:28.839)
Yeah, I am tapping in from Boise, Idaho.

Rebecca Espinoza (00:32.035)
Mm-hmm.

Janice Joseph (00:33.582)
And I'm Tabneen from London, England.

Rebecca Espinoza (00:36.48)
Amazing, yes, international.

Janice Joseph (00:40.786)
hope you can understand my fake British accent.

Lauren McFarlane (00:43.881)
you

Rebecca Espinoza (00:43.982)
So usually before we dive deep into the topics, we like to check in and just ask, como esta tu corazon? Which means how is your heart doing? How's your heart doing today?

Janice Joseph (00:57.512)
I'm not so menacing. Honestly, I'm doing great. I'm really excited to this opportunity to mention I mentioned this offline already. I've heard so much about you. The course is always great to do anything with Lauren It even if it's thousands of miles of away And yeah, I feel great.

Lauren McFarlane (00:57.779)
Yeah.

Rebecca Espinoza (00:59.18)
Maso menos. So-so.

Lauren McFarlane (01:16.745)
Hmm.

Rebecca Espinoza (01:18.86)
Yeah. Yay! Amazing! Love the energy that's being brought.

Lauren McFarlane (01:24.777)
Yeah, same here. I definitely feel great. Amazing connecting. love both of you guys to pieces. So super excited to be here and have like conversations like this are what like fuels my heart. So I love being able to be in conversation with powerful women.

Rebecca Espinoza (01:39.874)
I love you. Thank you so much for being here. And I know, Janice, I feel like I've heard so much about you and I've seen it's so funny. That's what like social media and like the tech world. It's like, I see you and I know of you, but I don't know you. So now I get to officially meet you online and have these cool conversations. So something we like to ask here is what is something from both of your backgrounds that has shaped you into who you are today?

Janice Joseph (01:50.694)
You

Lauren McFarlane (01:59.56)
Mm.

Rebecca Espinoza (02:09.186)
And that can be anything.

Janice Joseph (02:11.304)
Hmm.

Lauren McFarlane (02:12.529)
Wow, so much. So hard to pinpoint. I actually, I'll speak. go ahead, Janice. Yeah.

Rebecca Espinoza (02:14.062)
I know.

Janice Joseph (02:20.808)
Are you sure? You can go first. Um, initially it felt horrible for me to even share this answer, but I'm gonna share it for full transparency that's taking away more values. But trauma was the first word to come to my mind, and I was just like, a bit cringe about that. I was just like, I don't wanna say that my trauma shaped me. But I think like, at this point in my life, I can look back on some of the most difficult experiences and say that like,

Rebecca Espinoza (02:28.663)
Okay.

Rebecca Espinoza (02:36.3)
Yeah.

Janice Joseph (02:49.16)
It's not something that I no longer feel adds to feelings of shame, but now I feel empowered that I was able to overcome those things. And there are times where I feel behind, I should be able to go further, but I'm just like, no, I had all those experiences and here I am still like thriving and being great to people. Like sometimes when people go through heartbreak or betrayal, like they hearting their heart, but I've kept my, I've opened my heart after each experience. like.

Rebecca Espinoza (03:15.619)
Yes.

Janice Joseph (03:18.3)
Before, trauma would have been something that's kept me small, but I feel like it's something that's led to so much expansion for me.

Rebecca Espinoza (03:26.35)
Thank you so much for sharing that. think that's a big growth perspective to have on trauma because not a lot of people can have it. And I mean, I'm in full agreement with you. It's like those scars become just, those wounds become scars, but they're powerful expressions of what we've gone through. So thank you so much for sharing your heart and that.

Lauren McFarlane (03:47.785)
I'm so glad Jana spoke first because what she says like perfectly correlates to what I was gonna say. And this is something that like literally just came up for me today. Like I posted a TikTok video about it like this morning, but I think it's courage. And I think that the difference between people who let their trauma define them in a way that holds them back and then people who let it.

propel them forward is courage, right? It's like being able to be brave enough to confront it head on and do something with it and transmute it into something. And I think that, you know, the more I grow as a person, the more I realize that like the people that I want to have around me are people who have that courage. Cause like, shit's gonna happen all the time. There's always gonna be something going on. Like, you have to be courageous enough and like brave enough to like confront those fears and confront your past and your traumas head on.

So I think that's a huge thing that's shaped me for sure.

Rebecca Espinoza (04:39.628)
Yeah, thank you. And I know, I mean, you've been a powerhouse of a woman. I've, yeah, I've seen you go through your initial, some of your initiations too, just in the few years that I've known you. So I know, I know you are a courageous woman. So thank you for sharing. And yeah, I mean, I think I want to add onto what you said, like that energy that you have in the ring is also going to shape your relationships, that courage and how you move through that trauma, how you move through your difficult times. Cause like you said,

life is going to throw some really difficult initiations your way and who are the people that are going to be around you that can meet you and match you there. And I'm sure we're to get into a little bit of that about your friendship and like what's kept you together, especially on this journey of starting a business together. So before we dive deep into some of that, I mean, what was your meet queue? How is, what was like your friend meet queue? I want to hear it.

Lauren McFarlane (05:30.196)
my gosh, it's so funny. obviously, so we met.

Rebecca Espinoza (05:32.726)
And what was your first impression of each other too?

Lauren McFarlane (05:35.615)
good question. We, so we met in an online space first, which is where we, I met you as well, which a Mandala community. Yeah. So, yeah. So someone else had invited and had invited her in and then we connected in there and I ended up, she was going to Mexico for a Joe Dispenza retreat and I was getting ready to host one in Mexico.

Rebecca Espinoza (05:43.008)
Yeah. Okay, I didn't know that's how you met. that's funny.

Janice Joseph (05:46.632)
So I'm gonna change.

Rebecca Espinoza (05:48.908)
Okay.

Rebecca Espinoza (06:01.685)
yeah.

Lauren McFarlane (06:02.139)
And there was like some time in between where we were both going to be like chilling in Mexico because she decided to come to my retreat as well. And so we ended up getting an Airbnb together. And the first time we literally met in person was actually totally a meet-cute because I was like waiting outside the Airbnb and like couldn't figure out where the key was or couldn't get in or something. And then she pulls up in her car and I'm pretty sure it was raining and I'm waiting outside the Airbnb and it's like raining and I have like my one little tiny suitcase and she

Rebecca Espinoza (06:10.317)
Bye.

Lauren McFarlane (06:29.477)
gets out of the car all frantic and like trying to speak to the guy she's got like three massive suitcases all chaos and everything and i was just like this is like i didn't know at the moment but it was like the perfect like yes

Rebecca Espinoza (06:36.012)
haha

Rebecca Espinoza (06:42.2)
That is literally a romance meet-cute. It's like what you see in the TV movies.

Lauren McFarlane (06:46.523)
It literally was. So yeah, it was adorable. And then like we stayed in a Airbnb together for like, what, a week or so before we had the retreat. And we did, she pulled me up on the pattern on the astrology pattern, like right away. And in that she had said like, there's something in our chart that says that like we would make good roommates. And like, I think you mentioned that we would make money together and like different things like that.

Janice Joseph (06:54.748)
Yeah, I don't think so.

Lauren McFarlane (07:16.265)
And I was like, oh, okay, cool. And then fast forward, we ended up becoming roommates and now we're in business together. So.

Janice Joseph (07:16.424)
Mm-hmm.

Rebecca Espinoza (07:20.59)
Yeah.

Janice Joseph (07:24.71)
and so we are.

Rebecca Espinoza (07:24.814)
Astrology always knows.

Lauren McFarlane (07:26.889)
Alright, hold this.

Rebecca Espinoza (07:29.39)
So was your first impression of Laura and Janice?

Janice Joseph (07:32.508)
I really loved Lauren's energy. So I remember I would share different things in that online community. And I just, I like seeing her like bob her head up and down with guests. like, like she gets me. And, but in person, I was like, she's so cool for me. Like, I don't know. Like, I'm just like such a different person. Cause I was just around that time in my life, I was a huge introvert.

Lauren McFarlane (07:42.537)
You

Rebecca Espinoza (07:46.894)
Yes.

Janice Joseph (07:58.108)
like my thing was to like manifest tons of money so I could get away from people. Like I just wanted to like have a nice place in Columbia, somehow bring my dog there and just like be in peace, maybe have a cool boy or two show up and then leave. And then like I was gonna be good. But then when I met Lauren, like she had like all these cool friends and she's like, yeah, babe, like talking to them. I'm just like,

Rebecca Espinoza (08:03.735)
Wow.

Rebecca Espinoza (08:26.633)
Hahaha.

Janice Joseph (08:27.624)
like I see people like that on TV. Like, don't think it looks like this. And then I always liked her, but I felt like we were like pretty different after getting to know her a bit more. But I'm sure we'll get into it later. But after we moved in together, I think those differences were heightened even more. So was like, okay, yeah, she's cool. Maybe not my best friend, but she's really cool. And then it was like through moments of vulnerability that we got a chance to and like.

Rebecca Espinoza (08:46.608)
wow, okay.

Lauren McFarlane (08:54.216)
Mm-hmm.

Janice Joseph (08:55.208)
Like, my god, we're so different, but I need you. You're like my yin

Rebecca Espinoza (09:00.684)
Yes, I feel like you can definitely, that's where you learn from each other, right? That's what's really beautiful. And I mean, I'm curious to hear, I mean, just sharing a little bit about that. How did you know this was a person you wanted to keep in your life and grow a friendship with? Because especially as you're an adult.

You have to choose your friends consciously now. It's like before when you're in school and you're in college, you're around the same people because you're in the same place and you're just like, okay, we're going to build a friendship. But as you grow older and you go on the personal development path, like you both have, you start to decide consciously, like who do I want to keep in my life? So how did you decide and know that this was a person you wanted to grow a friendship with?

Lauren McFarlane (09:38.921)
For me, I remember vividly, this is something, friendship has always been something I take really, really seriously. And because I have strong boundaries around different relationships, it kind of makes me categorize people in my head of how much access they have to me. And obviously when you live with somebody, they have a lot of access to you naturally, because you see them every day, talk to them about all these things. And I started realizing, wow, I share.

Rebecca Espinoza (09:44.846)
Mm-hmm.

Rebecca Espinoza (09:59.16)
Yeah.

Lauren McFarlane (10:02.969)
everything with Janice, like everything, you know? And it was us kind of like, we got to this point where we got really vulnerable with each other and that was where we were like, boom, okay, we're really close now. But I think what really like solidified it for me was knowing that I had been able to show up as every different version of myself in front of her. And I felt accepted, loved, and also like she had all those sides too. You know what I mean? Like I remember this one moment.

Rebecca Espinoza (10:12.334)
you

Lauren McFarlane (10:32.955)
I had played, I have like a really intense gym playlist with like Screamo and like heavy metal and like, and I still had it on and she got in my car and I was like, my God, sorry, like da da da. And then she like knew the song and like all of that. And so I was just like, what? Like there's so many facets to who I am as a person and like so many different sides to me. And she like,

Rebecca Espinoza (10:38.718)
What?

Janice Joseph (10:49.065)
You

Lauren McFarlane (10:56.339)
has all of them too and loves all of them too and there's not one side of me that I'm like, I wouldn't share that one with Janice. Like literally every single one I can share with her and like that for me is someone who's there for the long haul.

Rebecca Espinoza (11:08.12)
That's love.

Janice Joseph (11:11.004)
I don't know how to respond after that beautiful message, but I think that's the same for me as well. Because especially someone who is pretty neurodivergent, like masking is such a huge part of my experience. And I've had times in the past where I've been quite goofy or whatever, and then people were like, okay. Especially given how stunning they are. All jokes aside, people, when they see me at first, they kind of expect like...

Lauren McFarlane (11:35.529)
You

Janice Joseph (11:40.304)
a certain version of me, not someone who's gonna like make some like dad joke and like laugh at it before anyone else does and like, look at them, like you're gonna laugh, you're gonna join them too. And I feel like with Lauren, I felt like I didn't need to have any of that. And that was something that meant the world to me because especially as someone who is very intuitive, like I pick up on energy a lot. And then that

Lauren McFarlane (11:50.706)
You

Rebecca Espinoza (11:51.278)
Ha

Janice Joseph (12:08.104)
Plus, masking all the time makes me feel very drained sometimes. So then I'm just like, I don't want to be around people. But when I was around her, I felt energized. I was like, oh, I actually want to do more. Let's do something else. Not like, OK, I'm done with lunch now. I'm ready to go back in my room and just disappear. But with her, felt very energized. So I think that was the moment for me as well, when I had each little experience build up to that whole ability to be completely transparent.

And last thing I'll say about that is with Lauren, she's someone that I feel like has been very critical to my human journey. Because as I mentioned, experiences of shame in the past or guilt, I would maybe have really close friends but hold back a little bit. Whereas with her, like, no matter what, I have to say how I feel. Even if she might not like me anymore or whatever, I just need to say it because I think a huge part of like...

Rebecca Espinoza (12:38.54)
Yeah.

Janice Joseph (13:07.376)
embracing yourself is having people around you that also can like see all parts of you and still show you that unconditional love.

Rebecca Espinoza (13:16.29)
Beautiful. think those are, yeah, like everyone listening just like take note. And that's two responses just because we're really big here on Vida like with like relationships and friendships who are like a big pillar of mine and shades like those like our people having our people in our lives that that matters. And I just think that what you said is like you felt energized, you know, being around Lauren. And I think that's so important to know when people don't notice is like, how do you feel around

Janice Joseph (13:20.872)
Thank

Lauren McFarlane (13:21.033)
Thank

Rebecca Espinoza (13:45.986)
the people in your life, are they draining you? Do you kind of see that you're hanging out with them and they're booked on your calendar and just like, damn, I don't know if I wanna go, like I'm thinking about canceling. Like that's feedback that your mind, body and soul are giving back to you. And I think it's, yeah, I think I'm just really happy that you shared that because I think people don't think about that enough.

Lauren McFarlane (14:08.603)
It's so true. completely agree. I feel like that plays a role like every day in my life where I think about how does my body respond to this? Does this energize me? Does it drain me? And like it's such a key thing, especially when you're figuring out like your personal boundaries and also your boundaries with other people.

Rebecca Espinoza (14:22.99)
Mm hmm. Yeah, boundaries are a big one and we'll definitely get into that. I especially when you're really vulnerable and close with each other and then even when you're running a business, know, like what the talk will talk about boundaries in a bit. So to get into a little bit about, you know, you starting a business together, you took a really big leap together and started an online and e-commerce business. And can you share what

your business is and how has it evolved since the time you started it together or how did this even come to be?

Lauren McFarlane (14:54.375)
Yeah, for sure. So, well, Janice, it was all Janice's idea. I feel like you should start because you were the one who like hit me up about it specifically.

Janice Joseph (15:03.336)
I feel like I was about to say right when you started speaking I'm so glad you're going first because I didn't even know so many different tangents. So if you want I'll start and then if I start to get too off course please ruin me in because it's very... Yeah. So to begin with like Lauren mentioned in beginning when I met her physical pattern thing and

Lauren McFarlane (15:09.993)
I can do it for sure.

Lauren McFarlane (15:14.92)
Yeah.

Rebecca Espinoza (15:18.218)
No, we're just gonna go with it. Let the feminine flow.

Janice Joseph (15:32.392)
It said being with roommates or maybe being business collaborators and stuff like that. And I'm really big into astrology. And of course, when I love someone, I have to go every little detail about them. then not only analyze their chart, but analyze our charts together. then, So through those moments where I look at everything and I also felt deep in my heart it would be great to do together, I decided to just bring it up to her.

Rebecca Espinoza (15:48.11)
The synergy charts.

Janice Joseph (16:01.32)
Not gonna lie, I had moments where I was a little apprehensive because I'm sure some of you may have heard things like, don't go into business with family or friends if you want to ruin it, that's how you do it. And I'm like, I don't want to ruin anything with her. I'm catching myself not pressing a lot. Okay, thank you. All right. I don't want to ruin things with her. So, yeah, I was a little apprehensive, but again, tapping into that.

Rebecca Espinoza (16:15.956)
No, you're, no, you're allowed to cuss. You're allowed to cuss. I, I, we do that. We do that here.

Janice Joseph (16:29.35)
vulnerability, transparency, and also my intuition was like, I'm just going to share it with her. And it wasn't even originally about folding. I just wanted to get into like the TikTok shop space because like I still work in corporate and that's something that I just, it doesn't feel like it's my part of my long-term plan. And like another thing that's present in both of our charts is that we're meant to be working for ourselves. That's where we thrive.

Rebecca Espinoza (16:40.11)
Mmm.

Rebecca Espinoza (16:59.181)
okay.

Janice Joseph (17:00.872)
So yeah, I brought it up and then we kind of brainstormed some ideas and long story short, we decided to move into apparel industry. So yeah, we did some rebranding. So originally it was like a BU project, was originally created by Lake Moran. And then afterwards we evolved into Kiss, which is the new year in New Zealand. So which reminds you of something else, which is a slight tangent.

Lauren McFarlane (17:11.771)
Mm-hmm.

Janice Joseph (17:29.468)
But ages ago, I actually started a business but never like, all through because I just didn't know how to manage my finances. I started something called Siren's Song. And it's so funny now that I think about it that here I am today doing something with my best friend that's basically a millier inner song than I not even thinking about.

Lauren McFarlane (17:37.032)
you

Rebecca Espinoza (17:39.95)
Rebecca Espinoza (17:47.384)
Beautiful.

Lauren McFarlane (17:48.721)
Yeah, it's actually, it's been a, it's come up in my life multiple times too, with like the know your inner song and like, the song thing is like a very common theme in my life. But I do think it's interesting with, with mine and Janice's journey in business, because we had talked about going into business together multiple times. She was on TikTok. I was not, I didn't know anything about TikTok and she was like, yeah, like TikTok shop is like this huge thing. Like, would you be interested? And I was like, yeah, okay, cool. And so I started looking into it, like doing a bunch of research and

Rebecca Espinoza (17:54.094)
Mmm.

Lauren McFarlane (18:17.769)
At that point, she was working in corporate. was working in freelance and I had clients and stuff. And at that point, I was just getting so bombarded with how easy it is to make money on the internet that I was just like, we're missing the boat. What are we doing? Why aren't we doing something? People are becoming millionaires overnight and all this stuff. And so to be fully transparent, I feel like our original intention was just like, what's something really easy we can do to make a lot of money so that we don't have to keep doing this masculine work environment crap?

Rebecca Espinoza (18:41.56)
Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

Lauren McFarlane (18:45.961)
And so we looked into TikTok shop and that was like a huge thing that people were getting so rich off of and da da da. And like, as you know, as well being in business and like starting your own businesses online, it's like the internet is flooded with people telling you it's so simple. Here's the three steps you do. it's that. Yeah. And so it's like, we see all these stories of that and we're like, oh my God, it's so easy. It's so easy. And so. No. And so when we like.

Rebecca Espinoza (19:01.304)
They tell you that so you can buy from them, so they can tell you how to do it.

Rebecca Espinoza (19:09.334)
It's nothing is made overnight.

Lauren McFarlane (19:15.273)
planned this, like literally the reason that we originally picked Apparel was because we could do print on demand and we wouldn't have buy a bunch of products upfront. We wouldn't have to worry about storing them. We wouldn't have to worry about the upfront costs. Like we were literally trying to pick something where we could be the most cost efficient as possible. And then the whole reason we ended up rebranding is because we realized we're not people who can have just like an empty business. Like we're just too passionate. We're just too creative. It's just not who we are.

Rebecca Espinoza (19:30.594)
Nice.

Lauren McFarlane (19:44.187)
And so what started as like, let's just like do a side gig and like make money ended up this massive creative project because just who we are as people. And I think that's okay. And I think that's part of like being in your feminine and in business is like that it's going to be something more than that. And so it's like the journey of being in business together has been healing on so many levels because it's shown us who we really are and what we really want. It's also shown us it's allowed us to deepen our relationship.

Rebecca Espinoza (19:50.574)
Mm-hmm.

Lauren McFarlane (20:13.105)
It's allowed us to deepen our love for ourselves because of our relationship. And it's also really, really helped us step out of like those masculine ways of doing business. it's just, it took on a life of its own and it's been, yeah, like such an incredible process.

Rebecca Espinoza (20:29.418)
I love the piece that shared about just your inner creative taking over because I feel like I'm very similar in that way too where I'm like, I can't just do, and I've talked to some of my other creative friends as well I've had this inner dialogue all the time where I'm like, why can't I just be someone who is okay with just doing the mundane, doing the nine to five? Because there's so many people out there that are okay or I think they think they're okay with it. I think they just haven't woken up yet.

but I can't go back to that place anymore. And sometimes I do feel like it would be easier, easier, cause it would be. I just don't think it would be as fulfilling. Cause it's yeah, having an empty business, making all this money, the money feels empty, right? Like what's my purpose? What's my passion? And I want you to share a little bit about why you named Rebranded cause I've seen you with the whole rebrand, Know Your Inner Song, Why That.

Lauren McFarlane (21:25.991)
Yeah, so we had like, it took us a minute to kind of come up with the name that felt right for us. And then when it did, we were like, that's it. But a huge part of our business is based in authentic expression. And to be able to authentically express yourself, you have to have enough self-awareness to know who you are. And that's like not a common thing in this world. And so that's been a humongous part of mine and Janice's.

personal journeys as well as our journey together as a friendship. And so it just had to be a part of our business. like even with the BU project, was about like be yourself, know, like celebrate who you are. And essentially it comes down to like, we have the parts of ourselves that we love because, I'm kind and I'm compassionate and I'm funny and I'm this. And then we have the parts of ourselves that we ignore, like those shadow aspects that were like, this part of me isn't acceptable. This part of me isn't something I can show. This is part of me I have to suppress. And

to really authentically express yourself, have to be all of it and you have to accept all of it and you have to integrate all of it. And so the way that it makes sense in my head is like, if you have a song for that song to come into harmony, like you have to have the soprano and the alto, you you have to have all pieces of the song that come together for it to create this beautiful melody. And like each of us is a beautiful melody, but we have to harmonize all of the pieces, which means accepting, acknowledging, integrating them.

Rebecca Espinoza (22:39.246)
you

Rebecca Espinoza (22:47.086)
Yeah.

Lauren McFarlane (22:50.641)
And so when it comes to authentic expression, it's not just like, know, show off the favorite parts of yourself. It's like, no, every single part of myself and own that and accept it. And that's what makes me this beautiful harmonized individual, which is like knowing your inner song, right? Knowing every piece of you.

Rebecca Espinoza (23:10.478)
year.

Janice Joseph (23:11.208)
I'm so glad you answered that. I mean, I agree, but the way you verbalize it is...

Lauren McFarlane (23:18.185)
Thanks.

Rebecca Espinoza (23:21.902)
Yeah, and I think that's a really a breath of fresh air to see in the world of, I guess, fashion and clothing and attire. It's like being able to bring in this layer and this undercurrent of personal development. because I know I know Lauren, you're really big on it and Janice, you are too. mean, you two are your friends for a reason. And to be able to bring that into I think it's just a new way of doing business.

It's like bringing this layer of personal development into the usual world that it wouldn't be found in. So I'm really excited to see what else you're gonna bring with that. And I guess to get a little deeper, I mean, we're all about vulnerability here. Did you two have any fears about starting a business with your best friend? mean, Janice, you kind of mentioned already you were like, should I bring it to her, should I not? And how did you move through them?

Janice Joseph (24:21.704)
There's so many different fears that came up during different stages of the business. think like in the beginning, even just bringing it up to her in the first place, like I mentioned, was like, could I potentially, is this the beginning of the end? Am I creating this? Am I suggesting this? mean, everything goes wrong and losing money, a business and a best friend. And Lauren's like, I feel like a best friend's an understatement to describe Lauren. I know I sell. I'm so wild about her because I am.

Rebecca Espinoza (24:36.195)
Mm.

Rebecca Espinoza (24:50.766)
I love it. We love the healthy obsession here.

Janice Joseph (24:51.494)
But yeah, that was the biggest concern. Yeah, it's definitely there. And then afterwards, even expending like knowing like what to do and like knowing or fears around how much money to put in, how much energy to put in, about losing money, fears about like, we doing this right? at least for me, I felt fear.

almost like during the most critical points, what there was like, we want to invest in this coach? Do we want to spend as much on ads? Like, you know, am I doing enough? Like I was, there are a lot of moments while working together where I felt like maybe I'm not doing enough, which is definitely highlighted like wounds of, I guess, wounds of...

like masculine energy moves like okay I need to be over masculine or else she's gonna think I'm not doing enough especially given like the differences in our schedules and stuff so yeah those are a few fears.

Lauren McFarlane (25:58.855)
Yeah. I feel like for me to, obviously when it comes to doing something with a friend, like I know Janice is in my life for the long haul. Like that's not a question for me anymore. know, like that's just, we're beyond that. And so obviously like there are certain fears, but I think one of the things that this business has taught me along with other life events throughout this last year is how much I carry the emotional weight of others as my own burden.

So when working in close partnership, it can be a thing where you're like, okay, now I have to be like overcompensating, like to make sure that Janice isn't getting worn out or I have to like think about every little thing that I'm saying or doing or whatever to make sure that it's not, you know, like I was just carrying so much responsibility and I've done that my entire life. Like that it was, that's part of how I was raised and how like my trauma made my identity. And so carrying like the weight of other people's experience was something that I was always very hyper aware of.

And so it's like, for me, a lot of those fears came up and like, what if I let go of that? Like, what if I just let it be her experience and let it be my experience? Like, is that going to, because ultimately it came down to like my own inner child is like, if you don't do that, people won't love you though. Which it's like, my conscious mind knows that's so untrue, but my subconscious fears were coming up of like, if I am not,

Rebecca Espinoza (27:12.577)
Yes.

Lauren McFarlane (27:21.977)
Worrying and like constantly carrying like her emotional weight or whatever is going on with her Then what if she doesn't love me anymore? Because what if that's the only reason that she ever wanted to be my friend because I made her environment safer You know what? I mean? Like it's just all these crazy thoughts that race because like that's what I've done in a lot of my past relationships past friendships family dynamics like that's the person I've always been as I was confronting that in myself and shifting it it was the fear of like

my God, is that going to mess up our relationship? Which like, of course it didn't and of course it's not going to, but sometimes those fears like, I think again, that's where it takes the courage to not let those fears like take over because they easily can and you can spiral. But I think ultimately because of the relationship Janice and I have, like we are so transparent with each other.

Like so transparent like it is so easy for us to just be like, my god I'm literally spiraling about this right now or I'm feeling you know, like we can talk about anything and there are so many times throughout this last year of being in business where we have been like my god, I was feeling guilty because of this and then we're like what why would you you know? Like she would mention like if I was busy one day and I couldn't get to something she'd be like, yeah Like it's fine under put yourself first like it's totally okay But then if she wanted to do that, she'd feel guilty. She'd know it's not okay

Rebecca Espinoza (28:38.792)
Mm, yeah.

Lauren McFarlane (28:40.797)
And then was like, my God, same. Like if you don't have time, it's fine. But like, if I don't, then I'm in the wrong. I'm not carrying the team. Like, and so the sense we talk about literally every detail of everything, like we're literally the friends who spend like hours on voice notes with each other every day. Like, tell me about your dreams. How would you sleep? How would you watch? Like we talk and then we'll be like, I'm moving through this massive transition in my life. And I think that these symbols are showing, like we talk about everything.

Rebecca Espinoza (28:57.624)
Yeah.

Lauren McFarlane (29:09.325)
Because of that it was so easy for us to just like on the spot be like, yeah Like I'm feeling this way and we could help each other through it immediately Which I think you need those in the moment type things to course correct and I think that that's why our relationship is so healing for each other Because it's not like we just come back and talk about it later like we're able to talk about things in the moment that really shift the course of like how our brain is processing things

Rebecca Espinoza (29:31.84)
Exactly. man, just, Shay and I say this all the time too. It's just like running a business and even more so running it in partnership with someone. And if it's your best friend, it's like one of the biggest forms of personal development and spiritual journeys. Like Reni, if you want to go through like a spiritual initiation and personal development initiation, start a business. Yeah, with your best friend.

Lauren McFarlane (29:54.057)
with your best friend.

Janice Joseph (29:57.212)
Yeah.

Rebecca Espinoza (29:58.734)
It's like one of the biggest initiations and you talked about how you're very transparent with each other and that's a big piece, I think, starting a business together. Shay and I have had to some conversations as well where I feel like we've had to express some of our needs and just work together, be understanding with each other's schedules and just understand that everything isn't going to get done right away because this isn't our full-time jobs, not yet. And I guess I have a two-part question, but what did you...

Janice Joseph (30:15.516)
in this.

Rebecca Espinoza (30:28.45)
What did you learn about boundaries with doing this together?

Lauren McFarlane (30:31.903)
my gosh, so much. I feel like my, can look back over the last like 10 years of my life and just be like, everything was just an initiation into deepening my boundaries. Like that's what it was. And I think that because Janice and I connect so deeply and we know each other so deeply, like when you get so close to somebody, you

get past the point of really needing to express your boundaries because you're so intuitively connected that it's just inherent. And like, that's something that I'm realizing, like, you know how like the gene keys has like, it's three different states of like the shadow, the gift and the city. So I'm realizing that like boundaries is like that for me, whereas like rules is like the shadow state where it's like based in like fear and control. And then you have boundaries, which is like the gift state where it's like figuring out how to honor your energy and all of that. And then you have like the city, which is like sovereignty.

where it's like you literally just exist in that energy that people and the universe and whatever just responds accordingly. And I feel like me and Janice as our relationship goes is in that point of sovereignty where it's like we don't really have to express that stuff because we get it so much. And so I think most of the boundary stuff that's come up for us in the business has been us helping each other set our own personal boundaries with how we show up and work because we both have

backgrounds of being incredibly masculine. Like you must be in your masculine energy if you want to survive. Like Janice can go into her own background, like obviously with being a veteran and like, you know, going to Ivy League schools and like all this stuff, like she's been in very masculine and like I was raised very much of like, you gotta be like a man if you want to survive in this world. And so us like helping each other learn how to be more feminine and like

Rebecca Espinoza (32:07.052)
Yeah, yeah.

Lauren McFarlane (32:15.973)
We won't allow ourselves to take breaks, so we tell each other, like, dude, take a break. And so it's like we're helping each other build the boundaries that we need to have with ourselves. And I think ultimately, yes, we have boundaries for every relationship in our life, for our work life, for our friends, for our family, all that stuff. But the most important boundary you can have is the boundaries that you have with yourself, because those are the that change how you show up in everything else.

So having someone that I can be so incredibly close to that we can help each other with that is like, that has been the most profound lesson in boundaries throughout the experience.

Rebecca Espinoza (32:53.592)
Yes, fuck yes.

Janice Joseph (32:59.176)
Again, Lauren, I'm just so sorry. Yeah.

Rebecca Espinoza (33:00.686)
And Lauren just casually just, I need a drink. I need a sip of my drink now after that. Let's clear those windpipes.

Lauren McFarlane (33:03.785)
We'll

Janice Joseph (33:06.289)
Just casually, yeah. Well, I'll just add a couple little bit of crumbs to that, but, anyway. I think, yeah, having boundaries with ourselves is huge part of that. And also, for me, having more boundaries at work was another thing, while working full-time and working on the business, because like,

Rebecca Espinoza (33:13.25)
and please add your flavor.

Janice Joseph (33:33.352)
I felt like I just wasn't enough because I should somehow be able to work 50 hours a week, be an amazing business partner and still like work out, cook and do all these things and be a great friend and all this other stuff. And I'm just like, okay, this isn't sustainable. And it was actually starting to turn the business into something that felt like a bit heavy. It didn't have that light hearted quality and fun. Exactly.

Rebecca Espinoza (33:57.742)
It was like another thing to check off my list, to-do list. Yeah.

Janice Joseph (34:02.824)
Yeah, or even more sadly, like another experience to remind me that I'm not enough. And I felt like in addition to having those boundaries, like with myself with, okay, well, not gonna, I know I wanna like de-stress so I shouldn't like scroll on TikTok for like five hours today, but it could also be like, do you know what? I'm gonna let some of my other colleagues at work.

Rebecca Espinoza (34:10.126)
Ugh.

Janice Joseph (34:28.7)
like step up more because before I felt like I needed to really like do this and that and prove myself here. And I was actually taking away from their ability to do the same. So by me, I even had a conversation. I'm so blessed that I had the opportunity to work with people that were like friends to me at work, which is not always the case for everyone. But I even got to a point where I had like a little call with them and just said like, hey, can we like

restructure the way we do some of these things because it's starting to like make me feel burnt out and I don't want to resent you guys because I feel like I'm just like jumping into this and then I feel like they should be doing it too so it's just like such a weird not weird but just like a mix of emotions and I feel like not only transparency with Lauren but also having more transparency with my colleagues and being transparent with myself and I know that sounds weird because you think like

Rebecca Espinoza (35:06.156)
Hmm?

Janice Joseph (35:26.44)
being yourself and you know everything that's going on but taking the time to like breathe and just be like what am i actually feeling right now you know i think i just would even forget to breathe sometimes and i think like having boundaries and saying okay at least like once an hour or every other hour or something like can we just like check in did i drink water did i get any sunlight like am i breathing how do i feel right now

Rebecca Espinoza (35:49.24)
Yeah.

Rebecca Espinoza (35:52.844)
Honestly.

Janice Joseph (35:54.152)
Why do I feel this way? And I know it sounds like a little checklist, but after a while it starts to feel like second nature. So I feel like that was another area that really helped me grow. So it turned into like a life lesson that wasn't just like, okay, here's an area to improve. But like, I actually want to like stick with this because it makes life even more enjoyable.

Rebecca Espinoza (36:14.198)
Yeah, yeah, man, those check-ins with the self, like those are, we run on autopilot so easily, like we can drop into our routine and whatever it is, and we adapt so easily. And I think that's like a survival response, you know, for humans that we just don't realize when something, we're not noticing the feedback that our bodies or our, really our bodies, you know, are giving us when something is not aligned and...

I love that you share that story about talking to your coworkers at your corporate job because I think that just goes to show you were being, you were showing up as you fully the way you show up in the business, the way you show up with yourself and then you show up like that at work. You were being transparent and honest and it's like, once you started doing things like that in one area of your life, it bleeds into everything else because that's who you are as a person, right? And of course that's the energy you want to carry.

Lauren McFarlane (37:05.053)
Mm-hmm.

Rebecca Espinoza (37:10.272)
Yeah, thank you so much for sharing that. I want to get into, you you both mentioned just like switching gears a bit, getting into being in our hyper masculine energies and like what that means because we're women, right? But and just so people know, it's not being like, well, I guess, yeah, kind of it's like expecting to be like a man because you're bringing a certain energy that may be dominant in more men.

But knowing that like obviously masculine and feminine energies are energies that are present in all beings, even in nature and in the natural world. And Shay and I talk about this all the time because we are true believers in needing to balance the two. And I feel like I can tend to be in my feminine a lot of the times, but when I really, I've also learned to drop into the healthy masculine that I need to do to get shit done.

Because if not, the feminine is just going to fuck around and frolic in a field of flowers for like all fucking day, which is fun. I like to do that sometimes. But and then I have friends who are way too in their feminine when I'm I've collaborated with friends who are too in their feminine. And it was like kind of chaos. And yeah, like shit wasn't getting done. And, you know, the structure was not supported for them. But I'm like, dude, if we want to get shit done, if we want to

actually make moves, we have to find a balance between the two. And this is a big reason, Shay and I actually came into business together, because we both knew how to switch between the two really well. So let's talk a little bit about that, experiences with, you working mostly predominantly in that masculine energy that is our mostly our modern day society right now, and how you're doing business differently now being more maybe in your feminine and being in that balance being in that play, like, yeah.

Lauren McFarlane (39:03.303)
Yeah, this is such a good question. And it's something that's been a huge part of our journey because yeah, like the world is built very masculinely. Like the world is based off of the 24 hour male hormonal cycle, not the woman's 28 day, you know, like it's very, they're very different things. And I'm an analogy girl. So like the metaphor that I always use is like, if the feminine flow is the river, the masculine is the river banks.

Rebecca Espinoza (39:14.882)
Yes.

Lauren McFarlane (39:28.359)
So it's like, need that masculine structure to house the flow. Cause like, if you have a river without any riverbanks, you're just going to flood the plains and like the water's not going to make it to the ocean because there's nothing directing the force, right? Or if you have like too much masculine structure or something, then maybe it's like the flow is too restrictive and it's going to take way too long to get there. So it's about finding that perfect balance between structure and flow. And I think that in finding the structure, like that's going to look

Rebecca Espinoza (39:37.409)
Hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Rebecca Espinoza (39:51.128)
the two.

Lauren McFarlane (39:56.573)
different for every person. like, even just in how differently Janice and I work, like for her brain, it's really important to have timelines of like, when is something need to be done by? Or like, I need to schedule, need to block out time to work on this task specifically. For me, I need to look at like, okay, what is done? What needs to be done this week? And then how does my energy feel today? Okay, my energy feels like working on something creative right now. Okay, my energy feels like working on this monotonous task right now.

Rebecca Espinoza (40:06.158)
Hmm.

Lauren McFarlane (40:25.117)
I have to give myself the freedom to flow between which things I feel called to do at that time. So everyone's going to have their own.

Rebecca Espinoza (40:26.798)
for you.

Rebecca Espinoza (40:32.686)
And that's a very feminine, I would say it's a very feminine like approach. It's like, okay, what do I feel like doing right now instead of like forcing myself to do it, but just like having your time blocks that are like, this is what I'm gonna work on. This is when I'm going to work, but like, what do I feel like doing? Yeah, that's what I do too actually.

Lauren McFarlane (40:37.289)
Thank you.

Thank

Lauren McFarlane (40:44.894)
Great.

Exactly. Yeah, and I think everyone's balance between how those two things work is going to be different because our brains work differently, know, our charts are also different, like we're different people. So I think the first it all comes back to again, like your self-awareness of how you function and being able to set up a structure that works for you. And like Janice and I have different structures, but we know each other's structures so we can work with each other on that. But I think

one of the biggest lessons in our journey of this business came from like, okay, we want to build, like we knew we wanted to work in a more feminine way. We knew we wanted to get out of the masculine. We wanted to create like something that could eventually be very passive income for us. Like that was the goal. And then our patterns and our, you know, past experience took over and we both just went full force in the masculine again.

Like we both were just like putting in so many hours, like feeling guilty when we weren't doing enough, like, this isn't working because we're not working hard enough. Like we literally just fell back into that trap of like our past. And we had to have like a real like come to Jesus moment where we were like, we did it again. Like we need to chill. And we were both starting to get really burnt out, starting to feel resentful towards things, starting to feel like.

Frustrated and falling back into those thought patterns of like oh it works for everyone but doesn't work for us or like you know just all those different belief systems that we both have and we like had a really vulnerable discussion about that and like we like Janice helped me make some really profound breakthroughs in like the ways in which I have blocked my own success in a subconscious way and like that was huge for me and like We really realized like if we want if we want to build a business and a future where we're in the feminine and where we're more balanced

Lauren McFarlane (42:36.413)
then we can't build that from a really masculine structure and then hope that one day it's just gonna switch when we get there. Like that's not how it works. And so like we kind of reevaluated like how we had been doing this because even though our brain was like, yeah, we're doing it feminine, we were not at all.

Janice Joseph (43:00.459)
I feel like I say wow at each one of them.

Janice Joseph (43:13.208)
is for me, I feel like the business really highlighted how much I actually didn't like the feminine at all. didn't realize it. I'm like, I'm a girly girl. I like wearing lipstick, makeup, know, spotty, I'm high maintenance and all these things. And I didn't realize, I guess I just equated those things to being feminine, but not really like connecting to the feminine energy because it's like, it's the darkness, it's the unknown.

It involves emotions and I can't control that. And I feel like that's what this business really helped me see. Because being in my masculine energy, of like what Lauren said in the past with my past experiences, whether it in the military or going to my school or being in consulting, that's where I thrive and I felt good and I felt like the more masculine I was, as long as I looked pretty doing it, I was balanced.

And the business really showed me that it just wasn't being the place. And even though there are ways that Lauren and I incorporate adding more of feminine energy into our routines and our experiences to keep things more balanced, for me, because sometimes I think naturally my brain really wants to go into the feminine. And if I had my way, probably wouldn't have any deadlines at all. But I realized I do live on this planet, and I have to ground myself a bit.

So like, I do need to have like those structures in place when we get things done. But I noticed by like allowing myself to romanticize those experiences and make it as pleasurable as possible helps me embrace that similar. like, before I would just like, all right, I'm gonna sit at the computer and under fluorescent lighting like you can see right now, like just type away. But now I'm like, okay, like how do I wanna feel during this experience as I work on this?

All right, do I want some snacks and we have this candle? I mean, like, I want to experience this to the fullest and not just have it be another thing I have to do. So that's just like something that I feel like helps me a lot. And again, the business really highlighted that in my time with the community. Having these, having the opportunity to like talk to each other is plenty, but having the ability to do that while having that shared experience also really helps a lot too.

Rebecca Espinoza (45:18.59)
Mm-hmm.

Rebecca Espinoza (45:32.974)
I love what you said about how do I want to feel with like when I'm doing a certain task. It's so real. And like I do this every time about to like hop on. I I think you saw me. literally have my like I had this like spray that I use to like spray all over me during like when I'm recording sometimes or like before I do a task or like I'll light a candle or just like do a little ritual for myself before I hop on on the mic. Because for me, that's like

Vida for me is like, want it, it's this, it's what we're doing right now, right? It's not just like, I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions, we're just gonna get through it, we're gonna have like standard conversations. It's like, no, I wanna open a container that is going to be conducive for honest heart expression. And how I feel starting that container is gonna set the energy and it's gonna set how I'm feeling throughout the whole experience. So I love that you say that and just like making work pleasurable because...

Like, I think a lot of the times I think people can agree, like it's not. But like, how can we make it pleasurable? So thank you for sharing that. And yeah, I'm curious to like, know, I mean, you already shared a little bit Janice, but Lauren, if you want to share, if you want to add on more Janice, like how do you tap into your feminine? Because I think a lot of people don't know what that means because Janice, you just shared a perfect example. Like I'm putting on makeup, like I'm...

perfume and I'm dressing up every day like I'm in my feminine but no you're going to a corporate office to do that. So like what's the energy behind it? So I'm curious to know like how did you learn to tap into your feminine or like how does that because that's the energy you bring into your business when you have to.

Lauren McFarlane (47:16.753)
Yeah, Janice has honestly taught me a lot about being in my feminine, which is funny because I know there certain ways in which she struggled with it as well, and so have I. But one of the ways that she has taught me is what she just spoke about, which is like romanticizing everything. Because I was raised in a household where it was like, don't waste, don't do this, get to the back of the line, all that kind of stuff. Because we didn't want to be a burden to anybody, didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable, and we didn't want to get in anyone's way. So was literally like,

Rebecca Espinoza (47:39.533)
Hmm.

Rebecca Espinoza (47:43.531)
you

Lauren McFarlane (47:43.741)
don't take up space. And so I think part of being feminine is taking up space. like, I think Janice like naturally does that, you know, like her aura is expansive. And like whether she's trying to or not, like you notice her, you know, and so I think her being able to just take up space and like show up as she is has been a huge teacher for me, because that's not how I was raised. And so like, you know, if we're going to the gas station, and she's all dressed up and whatever, and she's like, what I want to I feel good. And I'm like,

I was raised thinking like, you can't try too hard. You know what I mean? And so it's like so many of the things that she does naturally, which is again, why are like yin yang energy has been so incredible for both Lauren and also with the way that she's like all water and I am like fire and air. so like when I lived with Janice and our friend Devin in Florida, like I was living with a Scorpio and a cancer who cried basically every day. And I was like, what is going on?

Rebecca Espinoza (48:18.315)
Mm-hmm.

Rebecca Espinoza (48:23.918)
Thank you.

Rebecca Espinoza (48:35.342)
Wait, are you a cancer Janice? You're the Scorpio. Yeah, okay.

Lauren McFarlane (48:38.905)
She's the Scorpio. Yeah, and definitely has a cancer. And so I was like, what? And so I used to be so uncomfortable crying around people. Like I didn't feel like it was okay for me to express emotion. I didn't have to look for it, but I just, I was like, it's not, me. I'm the strong one, you know? And so she helped me feel so safe and comfortable in expressing my emotion and just being able to like talk about something and cry and being okay with it. And so like,

Janice Joseph (48:38.94)
No, I'm very sport-filled, yeah.

Rebecca Espinoza (48:46.134)
Hahaha

Rebecca Espinoza (48:52.118)
Hmm.

Rebecca Espinoza (48:56.972)
Right.

Lauren McFarlane (49:05.02)
There are so many ways in which she taught me how to just take up space, which I feel like is feminine. It's just like, I'm here and I'm flowing and I'm not, there's not a logical way that I have to be all the time. I can express and I can show up how I want to. But then on the other side, like she would also like, like I would literally be like, I don't want to have to have wash a plate later. So I'm just going to like eat my sandwich off a napkin because I don't want to like make more of a problem.

and she would like come out with a tea set and like a special little glass for her milk, like a fancy spoon and like set, you know what I mean? And I was like, what, why am I not doing this? You know what I mean? Like it was just, it was something I had never experienced before and it taught me so much. And like, you know, now here I am with like my orange juice and my fancy glass because like, why not? And just like beautifying everything around us. And I think that humans like innately

are attracted to beauty, like whatever that means for you. like beauty is something that like fuels us. And I think as women, we are more deeply connected to it. so even making my space feel beautiful and like just seeking out beauty and like that's just something that's always been so natural to Janice. And it's taught me a lot about being in that feminine and just being able to like follow how I feel. Like I can be super.

Rebecca Espinoza (50:03.566)
Absolutely.

Yes.

Lauren McFarlane (50:24.099)
logical and super rational and I can overanalyze my feelings. can talk about like I used to be able to talk about them in a really logical way but not actually feel them. And so like my time with Janice has really allowed me to A, release a lot of the suppressed emotion that I have been storing in my body my entire life and then B, just in the moment be able to actually let emotions flow through me as opposed to trying to like analyze them or rationalize them or put them in a box or hold them in.

which has been one of the most healing things that I've ever done in my life is being able to like be in flow with my emotion. And I think that that's very feminine energy is to be in the intuitive, in the feeling part of your body.

Rebecca Espinoza (51:07.822)
Yes, yes, I want to add that I drink my smoothies out of them because I'm kind of the same way I'm like I want to beautify things and I think that is to being tapped into the feminine and I'm a triple cancer so I'm like I have so much fucking water in my jar but I drink my smoothie out of like this really beautiful wine glass these like wine glasses that are from Mexico that are like these like beautiful blue and just like

just like engravings, I'm like, I'm gonna drink my smoothie out of this because I can and it makes me feel good.

Lauren McFarlane (51:37.193)
Yeah

Exactly.

Rebecca Espinoza (51:41.678)
So I love that.

Janice Joseph (51:45.6)
I got pretty emotional listening to Lauren. I feel like, it's... What I'm about to say sounds kind of weird, but like, I feel like through loving her, it helps me love myself even more. Because sometimes I forget the impact, I guess maybe triggering for anyone who's ever struggled with mental health. Like, I've had times, I guess I'll pause for a second. Okay. But like, just so they can leave if they want to. But like, there were times I'm just like...

Lauren McFarlane (51:58.694)
Agree.

Janice Joseph (52:14.504)
I'm an alien, I don't fucking belong here. People don't get me and stuff. I don't feel like I'm making a contribution in ways that seem like it's worth me even being here. It's not that I was gonna affirm myself, but it made me keep to myself a bit more. And I feel like listening to Lauren just really reminded me of like, yeah, I'm helpful. And it's not to say that I only am worthy of being here if I'm being helpful, but it just helps me feel more.

Rebecca Espinoza (52:31.149)
Hmm.

Janice Joseph (52:45.332)
And if you like being grounded is like the form of earth energy, which is also feminine So that's what Lauren helps me out with as well Like she mentioned before her charts very like air and fire and mine's actually water and earth So it's really funny how it comes together And something that Lauren taught me is that it's okay to feel and still do things because there would be so many times where I'm just kind of like

Rebecca Espinoza (52:50.903)
Hmm?

Lauren McFarlane (52:53.638)
you

Rebecca Espinoza (52:59.889)
okay.

Lauren McFarlane (53:09.033)
you

Janice Joseph (53:14.47)
my god, I can't like I have these emotions coming up and it will just like consume me and it made me like actually like feel a little resentment towards my emotions sometimes like I love them but I also hated them because it was like that's great but if I'm feeling then I can't get anything done or if like as Lauren started to like feel more and everything and then she's like crying and I'm like wow I'm so proud of you and she's like okay I'm so ready to go to the party and I'm like what? Like...

We're still going out. Like I thought we're just gonna like, you know, just chill home now. Because you're emotional. Which is like, I feel fine. Like I still want to go. And I'm like, okay, like, wow, you can feel and still like allow yourself to move forward with like your intention. Which is huge for me because I felt like my emotions were like something that's beautiful, but just like also this thing that just held me back. So that's something that I really wanted to put more into. So, give me your props for

Rebecca Espinoza (54:01.111)
Huh.

Rebecca Espinoza (54:08.866)
Mm-hmm.

Lauren McFarlane (54:13.193)
See, this is how we balance each other out so much.

Janice Joseph (54:14.44)
Yeah.

Rebecca Espinoza (54:16.91)
I mean, just talking about your charts where you're you're lower in air and fire than your water and earth, that's literally that, those are all the elements that I needed for completion. That's literal yin and yang. So I love that. Yeah, you're the yang, you're the yin. So I feel like that's incredible. Getting a little bit into, I mean, I love that we talked about, I feel like we're hitting so many different.

Janice Joseph (54:25.512)
Thank you everyone.

Janice Joseph (54:35.368)
Thank

Rebecca Espinoza (54:45.806)
in this conversation right now. I love that we able to like get into the heart of just what it means to run a business and to be a woman running a business in this modern day world and be doing it in close relation and with a lot of intimacy and vulnerability. Like you don't hear a lot of that a lot of the time. So I'm really happy that we're sharing that insight for the community here. And, you know, I think another piece that is

that needs to be touched on is like running a business on the online sphere and like social media and the expectations and just like you just even mentioned one is like kind of the lies that are sold about like you can fucking make like six figures overnight or in a month by doing this and yeah what has your experience been like like what are some hard truths that you want to share?

Lauren McFarlane (55:36.592)
Yeah.

Rebecca Espinoza (55:36.886)
And also like what you've what you've learned and that's also how you've made it work for you being in this online space entrepreneur.

Lauren McFarlane (55:45.513)
I'm so glad you brought this up because this has been a huge part of the journey. So I have a great relationship with social media when it comes to my personal life. I have gotten to the place where I'm really balanced in like, I'm very aware of what I consume and I really don't care about social perception so much about what I'm putting out. You know what I mean? I'm perfectly fine with the fact that one day that I'm like, damn, I look hot. I want some compliments, throw it online.

Rebecca Espinoza (55:54.211)
Mm-hmm.

Lauren McFarlane (56:13.127)
And then other days I'm like, I want to talk about something serious. Like I just, have a great relationship with that. When it came to suddenly having to do that for a business, it brought me back to the times when I didn't have a good relationship because back when I was coaching and like doing retreats, I felt like I had to market myself. It felt so sticky for me. Exactly. And I was just like, it was so uncomfortable. I didn't know how to do it. And it took me a long time to get to where I'm at now. So when it then came to like,

Rebecca Espinoza (56:30.188)
Yeah, like you are a brand, you're the brand.

Lauren McFarlane (56:41.021)
doing a business and having to really like get back into social media in this way of trying to sell something. It just started feeling so sticky. And I was just like, why can't there just be businesses that exist without having to have social media? why? Like business didn't used to need social media. Why does it have to now? And it was just like so frustrating. And like a huge reason that we ended up hiring the mentor that we did hire was specific. I mean, there was a lot of reasons, but one of the key elements was that like in her, you know,

ad or whatever, she mentioned like, are you exhausted from having to deal with like social media and put all your energy into here and da da da da? And we were like, yes, like she spoke to our pain, right? And like the solution was paid ads and different stuff like that. And so we went into that journey only to realize how much those things are still completely connected. And like, we still came out of that mentorship being like, yeah, I'm still exhausted by social media.

Rebecca Espinoza (57:20.845)
Right.

Rebecca Espinoza (57:39.725)
Yeah.

Lauren McFarlane (57:39.975)
Like, you know, and so that was one of the hard truths for us was like, yes, there are multiple avenues in which you can bring eyes to your product, right? But like, ultimately, in the world that we're in right now, social media is always going to be one of them. And it's becoming the one, you know, and it's like interesting as well, because I've recently stepped into like a new career.

Rebecca Espinoza (57:43.191)
Hmm.

Rebecca Espinoza (57:57.73)
Yes.

Lauren McFarlane (58:07.541)
of working in sales and I primarily work in like social media marketing sales for like people who coach others on how to build personal brands through social media. And the two different people that I work with have two completely different angles. One is very just like masculine driven, very numbers, stats go viral, get a lot of people, this is how it works. And the other one is very like feminine.

Rebecca Espinoza (58:23.323)
okay.

Lauren McFarlane (58:36.809)
And it's basically like, no, show up as yourself. Like that's what it is, it's authenticity. And like when I had first seen his videos, I was like, oh my God, yes. And like me and Janice both had agreed on that so much. And like, obviously that's a huge part of our business. But like, I do think that that is the way that social media is changing right now. Because people are so sick of being sold to, people are so sick of being sold to, like crap. People are so sick of the staged, you know, stories and like all this stuff. And so it's like,

Rebecca Espinoza (58:54.2)
I agree.

Rebecca Espinoza (58:57.742)
They're so tired of it.

Lauren McFarlane (59:04.393)
We're now in this phase where people want to buy from a person because they want to know that they love and trust the person who they're buying from. And that can feel really overwhelming and exhausting, but I think it also opens up this whole new world of, I don't have to try to show up in the right way. I don't have to try to show up for the algorithm. I don't have to try to show up to get the right numbers, to get the right result, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Rebecca Espinoza (59:08.13)
real people.

Lauren McFarlane (59:29.627)
I can just show up as me and Janice can just show up as Janice and we can show up as the people who created this business together and people are going to like it or they're not. And like, I think that it actually like takes away a lot of the stress and overwhelm about it because instead of like overthinking about everything that you're doing and analyzing the numbers, you're just showing up as you are posting video and walking away. And so yeah, there's, I think there's a lot of hard truths in.

business right now, but like with social media specifically, founder brands are the thing. And like, that was not the angle that we wanted to go in. That was not why we wanted to do this. Neither one of us had an interest in being a social media personality or sharing, you know what I mean? Like Janice like literally is like, doesn't do anything with social media really at all. And so that has been one of the most like...

frustrating experiences of being in business. And I think with kind of like our mindset shifts recently and like some of the realizations we had, it'll be easier for us moving forward, but it's not easy. Like you gotta, and people just don't understand what it is going into it, you know?

Rebecca Espinoza (01:00:43.918)
No, it's true. Social media is part of the business route now. What people do now is when you look up a brand, the first thing you do is go to their Instagram. Before you even go to their website, people go to their Instagram. And it's on autopilot, because it's been part of our lives for how many years? I was a senior or a junior in high school when Instagram came out or a sophomore. I'm 30 now.

Lauren McFarlane (01:00:49.309)
Yeah.

Lauren McFarlane (01:00:56.627)
So yes.

Rebecca Espinoza (01:01:14.572)
So this is the world that we live in. There's a whole neural pathway in our brain now that is like social media for businesses, for stories, for anything. And I think it's the way you said it's the way we use it. That's what matters. What stories are you actually getting there and telling? And I also worked in the communications and social media marketing back end for businesses. I can easily see when someone is marketing something on their stories.

smell it from a mile away of like they're following the script and they're hitting the pain points and then they're giving the dream life that you want to see they're doing the whole script. And I think now normal people who don't have who didn't work in that background can suss that out. can they know that they're being sold to. So like what works now is just authentic storytelling and showing up as who you are and showing them your life. And of course, having boundaries with that too. I think that's a big piece is like

Lauren McFarlane (01:02:00.307)
Yeah.

Lauren McFarlane (01:02:13.193)
my god,

Rebecca Espinoza (01:02:13.89)
Your whole life can't be for sale, but...

Lauren McFarlane (01:02:17.619)
That's like a huge, huge thing that's come up for me because we've had like this influx, like it's always the pendulum swing where we go from one extreme to the other. And I think we had this one swing where social media became so fake and so tailored and so edited, so pristine. And then people were like, that's not real. And then we went way to the other side where it's like, if you're not crying on camera, you know? And I'm just like, that's so dramatic because like,

Rebecca Espinoza (01:02:33.975)
Yeah.

Rebecca Espinoza (01:02:41.068)
On camera!

Rebecca Espinoza (01:02:45.676)
I can't do that.

Lauren McFarlane (01:02:47.141)
Neither and like it's not what why in a moment of vulnerability Right like that it's I feel like that's literally disrespectful to myself when I'm Exactly

Rebecca Espinoza (01:02:50.518)
Am I gonna pull my phone out to cry?

Janice Joseph (01:02:52.584)
You guys don't do that? Okay.

Rebecca Espinoza (01:02:58.944)
It's, and then it becomes fake in some way. It's not like, okay, the emotions are real, but then suddenly it becomes fake because it needs to be showcased to the world. And I have to hold myself accountable to not judge so hard when other people do that. And actually this is where Shay and I I think differ a little bit because Shay is like all about the, she's like full on like I'm gonna be an influencer. And I have mad respect for her because she is devoted and dedicated to it. And she's like built a following for herself that is on authenticity.

Lauren McFarlane (01:03:07.336)
Right.

Lauren McFarlane (01:03:11.805)
Right.

Rebecca Espinoza (01:03:26.744)
I learned from her a lot too where I'm just like, it's important to capture certain moments that are gonna make quality content when you're running an online business. I will never be the person though that pulls out my camera when I'm in mid cry. So I can make that a content moment. Suddenly it doesn't feel real.

Lauren McFarlane (01:03:40.507)
Exactly. It just doesn't feel respectful to yourself either. if I am in, like if my, Janice has taught me this to see myself as a child oftentimes, right? So like if I'm, she's like, okay, like if your daughter was experiencing this, is that how you treat her? You know, and that's really helped me with my relationship to myself. So like, this is a great point. If my daughter was crying and she was hurting, would I pull out my camera and film her? No.

Rebecca Espinoza (01:03:56.866)
Yeah.

Lauren McFarlane (01:04:08.841)
That's so disrespectful. so like for me, that might feel really aligned for some people. And that's fantastic. For me, it does not. For me, that feels like my emotions are now something that I'm using to like express something. But it's like, no, that's a moment for me that I need to get through. And I think what people need to understand is that you can be authentic without sharing every single thing about you. Like A, it's not helpful. And B, it's not helpful. And I think we have to create the boundaries in which

Rebecca Espinoza (01:04:31.212)
Yes, there is like

Lauren McFarlane (01:04:38.075)
what parts of my short stories I want to share, what parts of my day I want to share, and it's not everything.

Rebecca Espinoza (01:04:40.694)
Yeah. There's authenticity and then there's oversharing. Like they're not the same thing. And people think, I think that's what's getting mixed up in social media because I see a lot of oversharing where I'm like, whoa, this is, you're sharing some really personal things about your relationship with your partner right now. I'm like, damn, is that part of it now though? Like that's, that's the sales tactic now. Cause it's like, look what I'm going through and look how I'm navigating it. But I'm just like, I could never, but again, to each his own, right? So.

Lauren McFarlane (01:04:45.201)
Exactly. No.

Lauren McFarlane (01:04:58.249)
Thanks everyone.

Janice Joseph (01:05:12.732)
Well, I just don't share anything on social media, problem solved. But I think if I'm speaking, let's say earlier, I almost did tear up when we were speaking earlier. So I just happen to cry then, and that's what it is. But I think if I'm having a moment and I pull out the camera, that doesn't feel as authentic to me as well. I think I can see both sides for sure.

Rebecca Espinoza (01:05:14.99)
Yeah

Ha ha.

Lauren McFarlane (01:05:35.974)
Mm-hmm.

Janice Joseph (01:05:40.188)
But to kind of get back to the original question of hard truth or hard lesson that we either learned or are learning at this current moment, is that I feel like we can only go as far as our nervous system will allow us to go. That has been the biggest thing for me because I'm just like, I don't get it. Sometimes I'm like, I know all the things. I feel so tapped in. My intuition and just all the different signs are

point that I need to go in this direction and it's like my body just won't do it. Like I can't I know what I need to do and I just won't do the thing. And I feel like from learning more about like how dysregulated my nervous system has been and what has contributed to that dysregulation and how to regulate it as

really helped me make those little improvements. can't say at this current point that I'm like, I got it figured out. And if you want a master class on it, I have one next Tuesday. That's not part of that. But at this current moment, I'm seeing that's why it is so important for me to tap in and see what am I actually feeling? Because I think I've suppressed things, even though I've been emotional. But prior to that, I also suppressed a lot.

Rebecca Espinoza (01:07:00.014)
Mm-hmm.

Janice Joseph (01:07:00.968)
I don't know if people who have, I don't think you have to necessarily come from an immigrant background, but I feel like when you have parents that come to this country and then they're like, oh my God, you have it so easy. Like, why are you crying about this? Why are you doing, you know, like my dad literally slept on like animal skin in like a tiny little shack. So like, he just didn't understand why I would be crying on my canopy bed, you know, like, so I think.

Because of that, I would feel things, but then sometimes feel guilty about it. And then would it tap in, or I judge myself for feeling things. And I think now, having things more in balance and knowing that my nervous system is actually a huge part to how much I actually succeed, I'm way more tapped in. I'm like, okay, what am I feeling in my body? In the past, I used to be like, how should I be feeling right now?

You know, and that would lead to a lot of like comparison and like self judgment. But now that I'm just like, okay, one of my top priorities is my nervous system. And I feel like by tapping into that and being more mindful of that, I feel like I'm able to be a better business partner as well and better and able to show up differently. Cause now I'm not like going to fight, flight or freeze mode whenever it's time for me to like be visible, for example, which is something that I'm doing.

now it's like a good opportunity for me to be like okay I see every time I pull up the camera like I don't breathe so this is an area will work on so yeah that's my answer for that.

Rebecca Espinoza (01:08:39.34)
Yeah, again, just like bringing it back to like, what is your body telling you? What is the feedback that you're getting? And just like the nervous system responds to that moment that you're in. And yeah, like how can we work through it and how can we navigate it? Because yeah, if being on social media is part of the business now and part of an online business, it's like that is a moment for us to grow. I've also grown too so much with all of that. Like I would have never thought I'd be like sitting here doing this, like.

Lauren McFarlane (01:08:43.198)
Mm-hmm.

Rebecca Espinoza (01:09:09.034)
I didn't know my own voice and I was so scared to share my story, my voice publicly. So it's a moment of growth if you allow yourself to lean into it, but doing it in a way that is safe for your body and making those healthy moments of growth, choices for growth, but still ensuring your nervous system safety and security. It's so key, especially because social media is one of the most stimulating things that our nervous system can have.

like our brain and our nervous system. So yeah, thank you so much for sharing that. It's just like important for all, I think for people to know like social media is part of our lives, but it's how we use it that matters. It's like the big one. Okay. Last thing before we hop off, what is a piece of advice you would give to a duo, best friends or to people who want to start a business together and their best friends? What would you say or friends just in general?

Lauren McFarlane (01:10:08.869)
Hmm, that's a good question. I feel like the thing that has gotten Janice and I like to where we haven't had issues at all being friends in business, aside from our own like personal stuff like we her and I have not had issues and I think that that is because of the just complete transparency at all times. And I think that to be able to be really transparent, you have to be really honest with yourself.

And I think that that's where the self-awareness comes in. like before starting a venture, getting really clear on what you want out of it, on what you need throughout the process and in how you can communicate with each other because your needs will probably evolve a bit. Like maybe even what you want is going to evolve a little bit, but as long as you're able to communicate clearly and stay transparent with each other throughout the process, then you can kind of tackle anything that comes up. yeah, just transparency and...

I think clarity is kindness is like one of my favorite sayings. So just being really clear with yourself and really clear with each other.

Janice Joseph (01:11:27.268)
I think even though people could be friends or even relationships, think people forget that they're in this together. It's not like a me versus you thing.

And I think it was just so inherent and natural to us to be like, yeah, we're on the same team. So it's never like, like Lauren doesn't care enough about this or that or whatever. I think that was something that we didn't really have to struggle with. But I think like from the outside, given what I know about some of my other friends and what they do with their challenges or their challenges with their relationships and friendships, I think like remembering that you're on the same team.

can really make a huge difference. You can also influence how you choose to go about things. How can we make this work for both of us? And that's something that's really important for us, especially given the huge time zone difference we have. Now we don't, not now, because again, we never really struggled with this, but I think in general, we just naturally think what's going to be the best approach for both of us? What time is going to be a win

How can we maximize our strengths? How can we be fair to each other? Whereas I think like sometimes even though you love and care about people, like you can forget to do that.

Lauren McFarlane (01:12:49.651)
So good. Yeah.

Rebecca Espinoza (01:12:51.488)
Amazing. Thank you so much, both of you, for being here and just sharing your hearts and your stories, your truths, yeah, just bringing your wisdom here to the community. I know that this is going to resonate with a lot of people. And before we sign off, where can everyone find you, if you want to be found? Where can everyone find you?

Janice Joseph (01:13:08.936)
Yeah.

Lauren McFarlane (01:13:09.277)
What? Good question.

Yeah, so our business, our brand together is Kiss Aesthetics. So it's K-Y-I-S and then dot aesthetics. That's our TikTok handle as well as our Instagram handle. And then my personal Instagram and TikTok is Lauren Lightbeam, all one word. So I'll probably be sharing some new stuff that I've got going on soon with my boundries book. And then I'll let...

Rebecca Espinoza (01:13:36.312)
Yeah, ooh. Yes.

Janice Joseph (01:13:43.842)
Given the fact that I have made some improvements and strides for my nervous system, and I would like to be found, so you can find me on Instagram at AstroHotLight, and HOTSKULT-HAUTE, in good fashion, and then with my TikTok, I'm actually registering with Paige, so I don't have a name at this moment, but I...

Rebecca Espinoza (01:13:59.566)
Awesome.

Janice Joseph (01:14:08.444)
sure that when it's ready. Yeah, TBD.

Rebecca Espinoza (01:14:09.742)
Okay, thank you. I'll be sure to link all of that in the show notes. So again, thank you so much for being here. Thank you to everyone who just was listening to this episode. We would love to hear how it resonated. And yeah, if it resonates with anyone in your life, please share it. Okay, thank you.

Lauren McFarlane (01:14:27.869)
Thank you so much.

Janice Joseph (01:14:28.872)
Thank you.