The Moment Everything Changes: A Dad’s Journey Through Pregnancy & Birth

In this powerful episode of the DADHOOD Podcast, host's Thomas McMinn and Frankie Corrigan dive into a heartfelt and honest conversation about fatherhood, pregnancy, and the emotional journey of welcoming a new child into the world. This episode offers a real, unfiltered look at what it means to step into fatherhood — not just physically, but emotionally and mentally.

Through personal stories and lived experience, the conversation explores the ups and downs of pregnancy, the intensity of the birthing process, and the often-overlooked role fathers play during this life-changing season. From navigating uncertainty and fear to embracing excitement and responsibility, this episode highlights how becoming a dad is as much an inner transformation as it is a milestone event.

Listeners will gain insight into how to support their partner during pregnancy, show up with intention during labor and delivery, and remain grounded through one of life’s most pivotal moments. The discussion also emphasizes the importance of presence, emotional awareness, and partnership, reminding dads that their energy, support, and mindset deeply impact both mother and child.

Whether you’re an expecting father, a new dad, or someone preparing for parenthood, this episode delivers relatable experiences, practical perspective, and meaningful encouragement for navigating the journey into fatherhood with confidence and purpose.

In this episode, we cover:

•  The emotional realities of becoming a father 
•  Supporting your partner through pregnancy and childbirth 
•  What dads can expect during labor and delivery 
•  Managing fear, stress, and uncertainty as a new parent 
•  The importance of presence during life’s biggest moments 
•  Building a strong foundation for your growing family 

🎧 This episode is a must-listen for men stepping into fatherhood, couples preparing for a new baby, and anyone looking to better understand the emotional side of parenting and family life.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Welcome
00:10 Discussing the Upcoming Baby and Name Choices
00:55 The Importance of Naming and Hospital Procedures
01:52 Choosing Liam as the Baby's Name
03:04 Reflecting on the Baby Shower Experience
03:50 Dealing with Miscarriage and Emotional Impact
04:48 The Moment of Birth and First Impressions
06:54 The Reality of Labor and Delivery Challenges
09:50 Medical Interventions and Support During Birth
12:37 Health and Age Considerations for Parenthood
14:34 The Birth of Liam: A Detailed Birth Story
19:12 Emotional Reflections and Support from Family
24:00 Post-Birth Moments and First Days at Home
28:49 Lessons Learned and Advice for New Fathers

Thanks for listening to the DADHOOD Podcast. If this episode resonated with you, make sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another dad who’s figuring it out one day at a time.

Transcript

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SPEAKER_01 0:04

The more I hear this, the more I like it. It's nice, dude. It sounds really good. Welcome to the Dead Hood Podcast. What's up, my friends? Welcome. And this is uh DJ Zebra. It is DJ Zebra Zach. Yeah, who we were gonna get on the on the podcast. We wanted him on this episode, but you know, there's a lot going on. He's got a lot going on.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

He's got a lot going on. He was actually traveling for work. He was stoked. He was like, oh man. Like, and I was like, we'll get you on, dude. Don't even worry.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

So he's about uh ready to be a father. The baby's coming.

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

So did they, I know we were talking about this, and of course, I don't know if they've decided on the name as far as going public with it. Have they? Because I know they were on the fence the last time we had the conversation.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Yeah, I think they're still like a little bit on the fence.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

They do know it's coming though, right? Okay, because you need to get on that and get the name down.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

So speaking about that, so Liam, Liam was born, didn't have a name yet.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

For real. Yeah. So what did it do do you have to because don't you immediately have to give the information? I if I remember or remember correctly, you don't have to do that for the birth certificate, or no? No.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

So they can give you a little time. I think before you leave the hospital. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I mean. Like yeah, so we were actually going back and forth. Um, so William was one of the main names. Okay. Right. I love Liam. I just think that it like breaking it down is really cool. I think we went to bed that night, or no, I believe before we went to bed the first night, meaning like Liam's already born before Katie and I are gonna settle down. In the hospital. In the hospital. Thank you for clarifying. Just didn't know where we were. Yeah, no, we were at the hospital for sure. I think I had mentioned to Katie, we need to have a name for this child before like before the boy. That kid in there who apparently is ours now. Yeah, yeah. Needs to have a name. I just had mentioned I really would love his name to be Liam, and Katie was cool with it. That's all, yeah. Liam works.

SPEAKER_01 1:52

And where did that come from? Just a name that you had heard that the case.

SPEAKER_00 1:55

Yeah, I think it was just to break down, like we were talking about William for a while. It's part of William. It's part of William. Yeah. Unfortunately, I didn't know how popular that name was that year, as far as like a lot of boys. How many Liams does he have in his class? There's actually only one other Liam. Here's the kicker. He's Liam M also. So like they have to constantly like move them around. Oh, geez. They don't have two Liam M's. I was like, just call him LT. That's what he likes to be called anyway.

SPEAKER_01 2:23

So yeah, we were just wanting to get Zach on, though, to talk about when we saw him at the Couples Baby Shower, and just gotta say this, not as bad as it sounds. Because when we got the invite for it, I gotta I gotta be honest with you, because the only reference I had to a couple's baby shower was like 20 years ago with an ex of mine and it was somebody that she knew. And it was horrendous. Oh, was it couples there and we were playing baby games? It was at a restaurant, it was like check under your seat, there's a diaper, and the diaper with peanut butter in it wins. And I'm like, really? It was the longest two hours of my life. So that's what I had as a reference. So when you were like, oh yeah, when we got the invite from Zach and Camille to come to this thing, I was like, oh no, the last thing I want to do is go to a couples baby shower. It wasn't anything like that. It was at Brick's Corner, Pizza Joint, it was awesome, a little space for him. It had family, friends. Nice to see him. They looked excited. But he he did look, and rightfully so, he looked a little freaked out because I think, you know, it's it's it's coming and everybody's there for them. So it kind of just highlights what's happening. It's a lot. And we wanted to kind of just maybe see where he was mentally and just comfort him a little bit and just maybe give a little insight on where we were when we were getting ready to be dads.

SPEAKER_00 3:34

Dude, which is so funny because it's like when you said that everyone's there for them. I felt like, and I still even the hospital experience, everyone's there for her. I was just the dude that happened to be taking part in the You were the one that parked the car.

SPEAKER_01 3:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

Yeah. Can you uh go grab this for me? Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 3:52

Let's go back to when you guys were pregnant with Liam. Because you you were trying, right? You guys trying to start a family.

SPEAKER_00 3:58

And honestly, dude, like the the hardest part was we dealt with a a rough miscarriage before Liam came. So sorry about that. Yeah, that was like that was crazy, dude, because Katie and I, I don't know we were just in a period where we didn't really want to involve family or whatever. Yeah, but we kept it to ourselves and dealt with it all. So you guys were alone, yeah, totally alone. The cool experience though with it is I think it brought Katie and I really like close during that moment because that's a make or break situation.

SPEAKER_01 4:27

So thank God it it it made you guys closer for sure because I think it can really go the other direction.

SPEAKER_00 4:32

She in that moment realized how much she can lean on me and that I had her, no matter what. That's cool. And that was like the silver lining with that situation. Yeah, so now when she introduced the fact that Liam is on his way, which dude, the video is fire. If we can find it, she had a hidden camera and I was coming out of the shower. I didn't know what was happening, and it was a whole like I was coming out with like a purpose. I'm like, you know. So I'm trying to get the party started. She's filming this, and she just was like, Why don't we fold the laundry? I'm gonna fold your laundry. Yeah, like totally was just into that moment that I was locked in, yeah. And she's like smiling and stuff, and I'm like, okay. And I felt like kind of not defeated, but I'm like, laundry and lunch is like more important. Next thing you know, you know, we have the old onesie thing, and I was really excited, but I had a little trepidation because of that previous experience. So I was like, I was like, dude, I don't know how much I want to go through that again. Like that is just like emotionally draining because it was very much so like, no, your child's still fine, and then we go back in and be like, no, there's there's nothing. And then what wait, well, but wait a minute, there might there might still be. Oh my gosh, and it was like literally the back and forth, yeah, dude, for days. So the emotions behind all that, and it was just like so in the back of my mind, I'm like, dude, I really like this kid has gotta make it, you know.

SPEAKER_01 6:04

What was the period of time with the miscarriage to Liam? Like, was that a year or two or six months?

SPEAKER_00 6:09

Or yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

Um and what is that? With like when when a woman has a miscarriage, yeah, how long are you supposed to wait before you try? Yeah, you're supposed to wait a little while. Okay, so then maybe it was a little time.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

I mean, because it was like the whole like surgical procedure. I mean, it was like what do they call it? D and C D and C, yeah. Yeah. Totally rough. And Katie was a champ through the whole thing. And then I think it was pretty quick after, like that grace period, and then like after. And, you know, he came in, and the funny thing is at the hospital, I was now in this like belief system that you know, we grew up on Hollywood movies that that Liam's gonna be born, and all of a sudden I'm gonna be like, aha, I'm a man now, and like all the doves are gonna fly and like all these things. And it wasn't went through the steps, you know, cutting the umbilical cord, doing all the things, and I'm like, oh my gosh, he's here. And now, like, I think it was like instead of this oh beautiful moment, it was like, oh shit. Yeah, now what do we do? Now what do I do? Yeah, I don't know how to do this. Yeah, I know how to do that, I don't know how to do this.

SPEAKER_01 7:18

I think that's very relatable. I don't I don't care what the age is. I I want to say that, and I don't want to generalize, but I'll bet that's kind of the feeling for every father out there. Oh no. Oh no. Like this, this shit just got real, right? Like now what do we do? Yeah, unless of course you've had kids and you've got some experience with, but the first child, oh man, I'll bet across the board is like that to some extent to every dude out there, every father.

SPEAKER_00 7:41

Well, and then you're starting to question, have I done enough? Yeah. Is is everything ready for this? You start questioning everything though, not everything.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

It's like it's like the future. You're like, oh no, have I done enough?

SPEAKER_00 7:52

I mean, right? With everything every aspect, finances, everything. Like, yeah, like down to do we have all the things we need right when you have way more than enough. Oh gosh. Especially when you have, you know, people too. These baby showers, and it's like, oh man, holy crap, a PPTP and all this, like, all this crap that I'm never probably gonna use, you know. So how old were you when you had so Katie was how old and how how old were you? I was thirty-four, and then when we had Jackson and 36, like 32, 34.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

I think that's how old my my mom I think my mom was 33 when she had me, and my dad was 34. Or maybe it was when they had Mike, my brother. But I just remember growing up in that time, they were older parents. You know what I mean? They were like all my friends looking back, they had these much younger parents. Sure. Because they had kids in their like maybe mid-20s or late twenties, and that was probably right around, you know, when I was growing up, when most people were having kids. Sure. And then my parents waited until they were in their 30s, you know, to have us. So they always, but then you kind of go through the years, and you guys were probably. I mean, for here, that was probably a little old. Oh, yeah. In Utah's completely different. Oh, yeah. They're like you're not 19 and pregnant with your second.

SPEAKER_00 9:07

Especially then, it was like it was even more so than it probably is today. True. It was like, oh, they're maybe not having kids. And I was like, no, we're in our early 30s, like chill. Yeah, plenty of time. Yeah, we have plenty of time.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

Like I was uh 45 when we had Axel, and Tammy was 44. So we, you know, we we had been married before. We didn't have kids from either marriage, and we decided it was one of those where we tried for a little bit and then realized, you know, we're a little older, and then kind of went to go get checked out. I had some stuff done to me, like I had uh because we were trying to get pregnant, so apparently, um since we're talking about this, you know, the on your on your sack, there's the veins, the varicose veins. Sure. And I had like some really prominent veins, and they were like, Well, this could be part of the problem is it's heating up your sperm. So I went and had a procedure where they removed those.

SPEAKER_00 10:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

So it was kind of like a uh in and out kind of thing where they I think they sedated me a little bit. I don't think it was completely out.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

So uh it's like a vasectomy. I mean, same thing. Like you don't go under is kind of, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

Oh, numb you up a little bit and then but not near the pain, because I've heard that the pain and just uncomfortable and the healing process. So it wasn't anything like that, but it was still a process and it was still kind of like foreign because you're messing with the boys. Yeah. I don't know what the hell they're doing down there, and they told me. So we did that, yeah, and still we weren't getting pregnant, and then that's when we went to that RCC reproductive care center. I think maybe that's where it started. We started with that. Tammy was in her mid-40s, and you know, the older women get, and I think it's I don't know what it is, like past the age of like in their 30s, probably young early 30s, each year that goes by exponentially, you're not making you know, this many eggs and this many eggs. And by the time she hit 44, she was barely producing like any eggs. So that just decreases the chances of us being able to get pregnant on our own. So we ended up doing the IVF first transfer it took.

SPEAKER_00 10:58

That's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 10:59

And we were like, but that was the thing, was like when we talked about doing this, I remember saying to Tammy, like, I am down. Like, I didn't think I wanted kids before, it just didn't seem like it was in the cards for me. Yeah. Like just everything, how everything was kind of panning out in my life. And I kind of made peace with it. Like I was thinking, I I don't know. And like in this world, like, do I want kids? And okay. And then when Tammy and I met and we were talking about it and said, if we're gonna do it, we need to do it. Because I'm mid-40s. My window, I knew personally, like my window is closing. Just the thought of that is tiring.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

Because when you were saying that, your window was closing. Is that what you're referring to? Yeah. You're just like my bandwidth and ability to actually handle a child is getting less and less. Yeah, that's kind of what it felt like at the time. Sure.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

Uh, knowing that I that, you know, both of us waiting by chance how it how it kind of all played out, there were so many benefits we thought to our age when we had him, and that is, you know, we felt like oh, we were more established, we had more perspective, I guess. And I think I had a lot more patience than I had even like 10 years prior. Sure. And even then, like from then to now, I'm so much more patient, but I had a lot more patience, so I felt like I had a lot more to offer as a parent. So that was a good thing. But again, going back to I'm like, we're gonna do like we have to do this because physically, I know like and I'm I feel good now at 55, so that's 10 years later. But in my mind, I'm like, you know, thinking like 10 years.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

If you had like Axel today at 55, do you think it would like really would have changed anything?

SPEAKER_01 12:24

Probably not, other than knowing, like just doing the basic math, sure carrying the one. I'm gonna be really old when he's not that old, sure. Kind of thing, which still weighs on me now having him at 45.

SPEAKER_02 12:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

That being said, it makes me want to just be healthy. We were talking about that yesterday, just trying to do the things because with the technology that we do have, yeah, that's the silver lining with I mean, it's a tech tech world and we know like some of the downsides with that, but some of the upsides, oh man, you can really like tune in, fine-tune your health and just the information that we have. It's like that could give us maybe not additional years, but really, really good years towards the end.

SPEAKER_00 13:01

Yeah, we were talking about that. Like instead of the lifespan, looking at that, like what am I gonna live to my 90s? Instead, it's like, what's my health span? Like, how long can I maintain and manage a good quality of health?

SPEAKER_01 13:14

Yeah, like physical health, mental health, like cognitively. I want to be sharp, I want to be able to move and and just participate.

SPEAKER_00 13:23

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 13:24

So, but yeah, the so we ended up having him, and it was weird because for the pregnancy, I don't know, everything seemed to to be going as planned, but we knew that it's he we could still lose him because we'd had friends and family that had had miscarriages, and you hear the stories, and and it's kind of trippy how that worked because it was like, what was that? December 18th, 2015, the day that we went down there, we're in the room, and then they literally put the little petri dish, right? The the egg and the sperm, the embryo that they have, yeah, and they shoot that into her uterus, and we saw it on the screen. Wow. So you see it go, and and when I say see it, it enters into the uterus and you see it go poof like that, like a flash. And it looked like a flash, but I think what it was is you're seeing the movement, but it kind of created this on the CRT on the screen, a poof, right? And the doctors were like, right there, it just did you see it? And we're like, Yeah, we saw it. That was a trip. So that's December 18th. Then we go home, and you know, you're just biting your nails, holding your breath, and yeah, let's hope because we know that you've heard transfer after transfer. We like we've heard stories, sure, and people sometimes they it never takes. And then it was New Year's Eve, and we knew that they're gonna call. Like this is you know, they they they said that they're gonna call. So we're waiting for this call. I'm sitting in the passenger side, she's in her car, she, you know, again, we just pulled into the garage, and we hear the woman from RCC. She's and but I could and I totally tuned into the inflection, right? She's like, Hey you two, and I'm like, Oh, I knew right then and there. So she's like, You're pregnant, and so we were very happy. But that being said, we knew that we're still not until he comes here, till he gets here, we're not out of the way, especially with this. She had to do shots months prior, like in her in her butt and in her stomach, and oh my gosh, just m months and months of that, and then we had to continue on with those shots. Wow. Yeah, so like throughout this pregnancy all the whole duration, pretty much I don't know if it's I'll have to ask her, but it was months into it. Wow. Yeah. And then when he came, it was long ass labor, it was like 29 hours. Oh my gosh. She was amazing through it. You couldn't even I mean, I was looking at the one of the screens that apparently was showing her contractions, and it looked like the grand Tetons. Like they were just like real sharp. Yeah. And I remember saying to the nurse, I'm like, what does that mean? And she said, That means she should be in a lot of pain, but the way she's handling it, you wouldn't know. And she said, Those are like sharp little boom pops. That th those are pretty painful. And Tammy was just like a champ throughout the whole thing.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

Wow, it was they are so strong. It was, yeah. My gosh.

SPEAKER_01 15:57

It was pretty cool to see. But yeah, you know, he finally comes into the world, and there were some complications, but uh not enough where she was in danger and he was in danger, but they had to extract him with the forceps because he got stuck and it cracked her tailbone. And sure, and he was sitting there. But I remember I I said to the nurse, and I had my plan. I was like, I am gonna stay above the curtain, I am there, you know, supportive, I'm doing everything that you need, and and whatever you need from me, I am there. But I was like, I'm not going below the curtain. And Tammy was like, fine with it. She's like, that's totally cool until he was kind of stuck and he's sitting there, and this nurse is like, Are you sure you don't want to come and see? It's really a beautiful thing. You could see his head, like you look in there in his head, and it really was yeah, it was a trip, but it was cool. Yeah, and then of course, it all like when he came into the world, you know. I cut the umbilical cord, I was I was there, I was below the, you know, so but it was just the concept of what was happening overrode everything. Yes, and it was really, it was really neat.

SPEAKER_00 16:55

That is cool.

SPEAKER_01 16:56

Was there anybody in your delivery room? Just no Katie and I for both, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:00

For both.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

Did she feel like she wanted her mom there, or was there some stuff there at the time where it just wasn't happening?

SPEAKER_00 17:06

I don't know what the deal is. I think it was just kind of one of those situations that just didn't happen. Yeah, I think you know, Katie and I like the more I start like unpacking it, we really like just our quality time together. We kind of like things being like personal and we call like the McMahon bubble. We kind of like that. And so maybe there was like part of that as well. You know, on Jackson, when Jackson came out, craziest thing is he comes out and I'm I'm noticing the doctor, and she's like such a like she's awesome. Dr. Ponder. Yeah, yeah. We had her on. She's incredible, she's really cool, incredible, and just like super smart, very focused, chill. She at the same time, she's got a very good vibe of it. Oh yeah, totally awesome. I started noticing like people were reacting faster to her, like something, something's going on, but I don't know what.

SPEAKER_01 17:54

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00 17:54

You're picking up on those little nuances like okay, this is like okay, all of a sudden now there's like four nurses in here when there was just like the one in her, like, what's kind of happening? Jackson's the umbilical cord when he came out tore open before even like cutting it. Oh wow. And so like it was just bleeding a lot. Yeah. And she I think she was so cool that she was even like, here, clip it, like kind of like while she's doing whatever she was doing. And then all of a sudden, Katie's like getting cold. And Jackson's cold, grabbed him, put him on the heat pad. Yeah. And they're like, Dad, how about you come over here? And while they were doing stuff with Katie, and then they grab Jackson, like, because I'm with him on this like heat pad and I'm looking at him, and then they like took him over and laid him on Katie's chest to like help warm each other up.

SPEAKER_01 18:43

Yeah, and plus you're getting the skin to skin. So it's like all that. I love that.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

And it was just such a like a like really cool moment, but terrifying at the same time. Yeah. Yeah. And Dr. Ponder was like, if that would have happened 30 seconds before, like he would have been gone. Oh like thank God you didn't know that until after. Oh my gosh. I mean, that's his life support, literally. Yeah, if that would have happened inside, and then it was like, holy crap, like, what are the chances of that? Wow. You know? Yeah. So we're like really cool. Um, the morning after Jackson was born, that's on my mind. This like torn, like um, umbilical cord and like her body being colder and him needing cold, like it's weighing on your psyche. So it's weighing on my psyche. I happen to like fall asleep, and he was like in the room with us that night. I wake up, Katie's not in bed, he's not in the room. Bro, I start panicking. Like, I went straight into like where's like where's my family? I'm thinking, did something happen while I fell asleep? So I'm like walking, I'm walking out, and it's the morning time, and I'm my voice was pretty loud anyway. And I'm like, where's my wife? I'm like talking to her. I don't like Liam Neeson. I'm like, what you don't realize is everybody has to freeze until we've got and I'm like, where's my wife? Sir, we you know, people, I don't know. Holy crap, dude. So they didn't know, nobody knew. No, I'm walking the floor. I'm I'm on a mission now. You know, I'm going around. I see Katie. She's in this like nice little nook area, the sun's rising. It's like this beautiful moment. She's like, I just wanted to enjoy a moment trying to stay calm in that moment inside. I was like panicking, bro. I bet.

SPEAKER_01 20:18

I bet if you wake up, I mean, especially when like that happened, so it's like, did something else happen?

SPEAKER_00 20:23

Which is so funny. It just goes back and plays to the moments that unfold are going to unfold. There's no preparation, there's nothing that you can like.

SPEAKER_01 20:34

You think you have a plan? Have a plan to not have a plan.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

That's that should be the plan. Like all the birthing classes and all these things, it it really comes down to it's gonna unfold the way it's going to unfold, you know. And I love the the like couples that are like, we've got it, we've got it planned down to everything, the music that's gonna be playing, the people in the room. I'm like, I love that. That's in an ideal world where everybody else is available, it's at the right time. I mean, with Liam, so it's funny, they were both born at five. One was in the morning and one was at night. Oh, cool, yeah. Okay, it's so it so wild. That's a trip. And I remember thinking that, like, I kind of was excited, like, oh, I'm just gonna run the lights and whatever, you know. Again, going back to these like movie versions, you know, like everybody's freaking out, like, gotta get her to the hospital. And it was like very different, super chill and calm, you know. And one more thing with with Liam that was so cool because at the end of the stay, three days or whatever they give you, right? Three days in the hospital? Yeah, in the hospital.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

We had, dude, I'll get to that in a second. Tell me about what you get that vehicle. Complete that thought and then because it we weren't in for three days, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_00 21:42

So the nurse, you know, because they have to watch you. I think the nurse actually had to carry the child out of the hospital because there was the regulations like they they need to make sure you're taking your kid. Yeah. Kind of a thing. No liability. Listen, yeah, I am definitely not smuggling other children. Yeah. Yeah, good call. I'm freaking out with him coming home. Freaking out with just one. Yeah. So they carry him down. I'm carrying like all the other stuff. We get Katie in, and then I already have the base set up for the car seat. Click it in. We click it in. She bounces. I don't even like get to ask her any other additional questions. She was like and gone, you know.

SPEAKER_01 22:17

I think I asked our nurse, I'm like, so you're not going to even give us your cell number. Like, this is insane. You're just sending us like at 11 o'clock at night with a baby. Yeah. Like, we're going. We're going. Right. She's like, you'll be fine. I'm like, will we though? Are you sure?

SPEAKER_00 22:30

You're you're saying it with confidence. I'm trying, I'm believing it, but inside I'm not feeling it. They click him in. We're getting ready to pull out of the parking lot. And this song, there's a techno song, comes up on the screen, says, Take me home. Oh, that's cool. And I was like, this is awesome.

SPEAKER_01 22:46

The universe saying everything's gonna be fine.

SPEAKER_00 22:48

Totally. That's awesome. And I just drove, I remember driving with so much caution. Like energy. I think I had the four ways on. Yeah, dude. I was like, and anybody get near me, it's like, please stay your distance. Yeah, protective mode.

SPEAKER_01 23:01

Tammy was induced, and I think we went in at like five. So I remember we stopped by this Soho Park, the Soho Park where the food trucks are on holiday. So we kind of made a thing, you know. So she's supposed to be there at like five or six for the induction. We stopped off. She wanted one of the world famous corn dogs. So we get in there and everything's good, and this is over at St. Mark's, and they're great over there. But they give her something to induce her, and then that she had like a reaction. Something ended up happening where her her water broke, and that was like I think in the middle of the, or no, that was because when they put up put the catheter in, it but it punctured it. It punctured her water. So all these things were happening. Like the, I think one was the I think it's called Pitocin, I think. I don't know. Yes. Uh so they gave her that and she had an allergic reaction to it. Oh my gosh. So that kind of started like where it was supposed to kind of ease into the labor, and that amped it up, but then it was like it's a 29 hours that she's in this in in labor. So then when he comes in to the world, it was and that's Axel at 11:57. If it would have been midnight, we would have been able to stay that uh that next day and that following night and then gone home that next day.

SPEAKER_00 24:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:11

But because he came in right before midnight, insurance, and they tried to like push it through, but insurance is like, nope, you gotta go home. So we ended up going home at about 11.30, I think, uh, because we had to be out by midnight. Yeah. And that was, yeah, it was just I just remember it being terrifying because uh he had like low blood sugar when he was born, and we were trying to do the where Tammy was gonna try to breastfeed, and because she's older, she wasn't producing the milk, and he wasn't latching on, and there was like a this boob whisperer, this nurse, there hasn't been a nipple that I haven't been uh been able to teach a baby to latch on to. Well, she couldn't get him to to do it. Like nobody could get Axel to latch on and stay on the nipple. And they're like, if he doesn't start drinking, we're gonna have to do the bottle thing. So it ended up being formula from the bottle. But in the meantime, because he's like throwing up and and there was all this stuff, and I remember at one point where I pressed the button and you know, the nurse comes on, the speaker. She's like, Is there a problem? Like, yeah, can you please come in here? And she's like, Well, what's the problem? I said, Well, he's throwing up. I don't know what the problem is because I didn't know. And I'm just telling you what's happening. She's like, Well, is he blue? No, he's not blue. And I said, and I kind of got pissy, is like, would you just please come in here?

SPEAKER_00 25:21

That's the only reason for you to come in.

SPEAKER_01 25:23

Because he's dying. And I get that people probably most parents overreact, and I'm sure we were probably in that department. It was all good, but it that's kind of what started, I think, for both of us, more so for her being the mom, but just it was a fog. You know, for those couple of few months when you're just in the mode of trying to keep I mean, essentially you're just trying to keep your baby alive. For sure. That's what you're doing. You know, you're not sleeping right, and and especially for her, but everything is all just jacked up for a couple few months until you know that, like, okay, I think I think he's gonna be okay.

SPEAKER_00 25:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

But until then, it's terrifying.

SPEAKER_00 25:57

And it's so funny because having our second child, very different. The whole experience, it's wild when you just like reflect back on it. And um, there's just moments that that stand out in your mind. And I'm I hope that any new fathers that are listening to this are getting freaked out. Well, and rightfully so. Like, get I think if you're sitting there and you're like, I have nothing to worry about, it's time to worry, but this is a moment in life that's worth actually having some a little bit of fear. Yeah, yeah. Because it's it's a big deal, dude. It's warranted, yeah. It is. Um, I remember holding Liam, so the nurses were like, Will you bring him in and we're gonna like do the whole like bathing thing? Yeah, you know, and um I think it was even that stuff, like prick the toe and and get little feet prints and stuff like that. I remember carrying him in and I'm holding him on this like scale thing and just looking at him, and it was like, oh my gosh. Like I was instantaneously like felt like I would go to war for this kid. Right. And at the same time, I I almost couldn't process that this is my child. Like he's now looking at me, and I know it's very different, but especially these days, though, he's looking at me the same way I looked at my father. Yeah, like you look at you know, you're seeing this figure in your life, and it's like that moment was so wild, dude. And like I still have moments where I'm like, I have kids. Yeah, yeah. You know, they're like, hey, your kids. I'm like, whose kids? Yeah, yeah. I'm a dad. I'm over guy. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:34

Well, and it's like it's funny you think about it, like you're looking at him like, oh no, what do we do? And he's essentially, I mean, he's a baby, but he's not having these thoughts. But they're looking at us like, what do we do? Like, who's this? Like, what are what are we gonna do? Like, what what's what's what's next? You got me? Yeah, you got me? Somebody better have me. We look back now, and even when it was happening, it was funny, but it wasn't. So we had the two moms in the delivery room. And again, so it was like a 29-hour labor, and it kind of got to the point where there were a bunch of people in there because she had gotten three epidurals, you know, she couldn't push anymore. Oh my gosh. The uh OB, who is amazing, this guy, uh Darren Watts, who is since retired, and and he was kind of slowly laying the groundwork, and we knew what he was doing, but he was so just wasn't being forceful, but was telling us that the reality is had three epidurals, you can't have another one, but you're exhausted from you can't push anymore. Sure. Uh he's in there and he's not coming out. Like he's stuck, and we're gonna have to go in with the forceps.

SPEAKER_00 28:29

Okay. Had they mentioned at any point possibly a Caesarean section?

SPEAKER_01 28:33

Like, or was it like if things would have gotten like his blood pressure was fine, so Axel was good, Tammy was good, so that's where he was like, and this is we're all good here.

SPEAKER_00 28:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:43

So the the this is the next step. Now, if things do go awry and somebody starts, you know, blood pressure drops, we're gonna have to, you know, so we're gonna start with this so we don't get to that point. And so he'd mentioned that kind of in conversation, and this is way before, kind of seeing where it could possibly go, and that's exactly where it went. And apparently at the time, he was one of, if not the best OBs in the state of Utah for forceps. They were like, if it gets to that point, he's the guy. He's the guy. He's the guy. As this is all happening, so we're kind of in the room. So I've got my mom, so I've got my mother-in-law, my late mother-in-law Dixie, she's here, and then my ma is next to her. Okay, so before the moms came into the picture, I forgot about this. So Tammy, they've got her obviously laid out. So as soon as they walk in, Dixie, my late mother-in-law, she sees Tammy and she runs over and drapes herself over Tammy and was like, My baby, and starts crying. And Tammy's fine, other than she's just we're we're waiting, you know. And I stood up and I said, No, no, no, no, we're not doing that. We're not doing any of that. Nope, nope, nope. Get get up, get off her. It's she's fine. This isn't where we are. You don't need to act this way.

SPEAKER_00 29:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:53

So I kind of shut it down. So we get the the moms over to my left, you know, Tammy's in front of me, they're to my left. We eventually get them chairs. They're obviously everybody's nervous, right? So there's there's the nerves that they're going back and forth, and one's crying, and one's, you know, this and that, and to the point where I'm like looking over at it. I'm like, would you two knock it off? Like, just would you please just knock it off? Like if you can't, if you can't conduct yourselves and just be calm, yeah, and and sit in the chair, because they would stand up. I'm like, please sit. That that's the reason that the doctor got you chairs to sit.

SPEAKER_00 30:25

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 30:25

And and I was like, then and I said to them both, I said, if you don't straighten up, both of you guys, you're out. Like you're out.

SPEAKER_00 30:32

Because you're really and good for you, dude, being able to do that. Because most people wouldn't. And I think like that's exactly what Tammy needed in that moment. Yeah. Because I was like, look, you'd be like, hey, yo.

SPEAKER_01 30:42

It's like I I love you both, but if you can't handle this, then you need to go.

SPEAKER_00 30:48

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 30:48

And I remember even at points like you know, Darren, the the doctor, Dr. Watts, he's he he looked over, he's kind of he's kind of he's getting a kick out of it, but but I'm like, I wasn't at that time. I'm like, this, you're driving me crazy. And I said, this is not the time. Like, you gotta be calm. Just sit down. And then I thought, okay, this will keep my mother-in-law distracted. I I've got a job for you. I gave her my phone. I put it on the video, and I said, Here's what I want you to do. This is your job. And I wasn't expecting anything from this. I just truly was hoping this would just be a distraction to kind of keep her focused on what when he comes into the world. I wanted video. And I said, But I want you to keep it all above the curtain. And I said, So here's how you do it. She's like, Okay, what do I? And she was like, Do it, do I do it now? And the doctor's like, we'll let you know. He's not here yet.

SPEAKER_02 31:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:32

So then he starts coming, just keep it above the curtain. Like the video that she shot, I've never really watched it. I've kind of breezed through it, like, because it's, you know, it's it's a lot.

SPEAKER_00 31:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:41

But the fact that we have it is pretty cool. There was another story. So you know Celeste, and I've told this story before. So she tried because she wanted to be in the room, and Tammy's like, nope, just my mom's, and then the you know, the doctor. So she tried to come in. This is way before Axel came, but my mom and and mother-in-law Dixie are there. She comes into the room, right? And she's like, You forgot something. So she comes in like this, and I said, Okay, thank, thank you. And then I kind of like pointed, like, we'll we'll let you know when he's here because I knew exactly what she was. You're the bouncer. Yeah, I was. You're the bouncer.

SPEAKER_00 32:10

You can't you don't get access to the club right now, sorry.

SPEAKER_01 32:13

But I was like, okay, back back in the lobby, and we'll we'll let you know when he's here. But it was one of those where I was just trying to protect the this is gonna be what we had talked about. The whole thing was was pretty cool. Like even the pregnancy, and and I and I know she she might say otherwise. I mean, yeah, you know, but but but as far as through my eyes, and I think overall with her too, she was like, it was pretty good.

SPEAKER_00 32:33

That's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 32:34

I mean, there were some moments where she was like at the end, like, I just want to have this kid. He was a big kid, and he was way up high, so she couldn't breathe. So the way he was sitting and he was taking up all the space. Like, it's time to go, but pretty much. So I I mean, so that part of it, she was like, Yeah, towards the end, it was like, I was just done. I wanted him to come out.

SPEAKER_00 32:53

I was so fascinating because you were talking about this doctor being the best when it comes to forceps. What are some of the risk or complications that could have come with like utilizing forceps? Because it seems like it's something that you really gotta know what you're doing.

SPEAKER_01 33:07

You know, you gotta think about the melon is very, you know, it's malleable at that point. And and that's what they're doing, is they're they're pulling, well, at least where he was, you know. I I I would think that depending on where the baby is, but his head was stuck. So I think it was that possibly leaving marks or you don't want to crush the baby. Squeezing, yeah. Yeah, squeeze too too hard. But you I'm sure it takes quite a bit of force to like yeah, if I remember correctly, which I do have little moments of in my memory. Yeah, it was kind of a struggle for him. So I was trying to stay with her this way and let him do his thing. I look back and think about just the whole process was it was magical. The conception and ours was a little different, but it just was the whole process was like there wasn't anything I wouldn't do for Tammy, like when she was pregnant, and she would be, you know, I've got a craving for this. And I'm like, Yeah, I'm on it. I'd be out at 11 o'clock at night looking for this peanut butter cereal, you know, going to the different grocery stores. She's like, I don't want you doing that. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? Oh, you're like that is the least I can do. Right. You're making a person, you got all this stuff going on. Let me go get you some cereal.

SPEAKER_00 34:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:14

That might take, you know, three or four different grocery stores, and it was like a better where I'd be seeking out and searching for this thing that she wanted. But the like that's our way of contributing.

SPEAKER_00 34:25

Yeah, and it like it makes this feel I like like I have uh somewhat of a I'm helping you. Yes, let me help you. And it's almost exciting. It's like this is part of the story, too. And I'm glad to do that.

SPEAKER_01 34:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:35

Um, it's funny with with mother-in-laws, because you were asking earlier. Obviously, we didn't have either in. The cool thing about Katie's mom, she's very calm and collective. It doesn't seem like a lot of things really rattle her. She can just process them and she just deals with them. That's good. So she's no she doesn't get amped up or anything or emotional.

SPEAKER_01 34:54

Not that there's anything wrong with it, but in certain moments like that, that's the last thing you need is somebody getting crazy.

SPEAKER_00 34:59

Dude, and my mom, like I called her and she was out with my stepdad on a hike. Oh, wow. And I was like, hey, mom. I have to be delicate of how I would talk to my mom because she was extremely emotional. Right. So I was like, hey mom, what are you up to? Oh, I'm just out on a hike with Avery. And I'm like, okay, great. Hey, I just want you to know everything's good, but we are at the hospital and it looks like our child's coming. And I will give you a call once the child's born, so you can come over and you can be with us. If I don't explain that, she's she's gonna be here and there's a crazy woman in the lobby, yeah, big scenes and stop. That's my mom. And I would have had to manage my mom right and like try to be there emotionally for Katie. And I was like, I I just need to focus on Katie. So he's on his way and she's like, Oh, oh gosh. And she starts like crying. She's like, Oh, oh, okay, oh my gosh. And she and I hear her, Avery, Avery, we gotta go. And I was like, No, mom, mom, just enjoy your hike. Yeah, finish your hike. I was like, enjoy your hike. It's gonna be a little bit. Katie's labors were super quick, like really fast. But I was like, just enjoy your enjoy your hike and I'll give you a call and then come over. And she's like, You don't tell me what I can do. And I was like, Oh crap, don't tell me to calm down. I was like, mom, you need to relax right now. The coolest thing though with my mom, and I don't know if I mentioned this on the show before, I passed in uh 2021. The thing that was amazing about my mom is she cared so much about you feeling uh wanted, you feeling like um important. Yeah. So she would come over when and this is with the with Liam, she came over every other night, almost every night, and brought meals and was just like totally there and just amazing. The funny thing is, I was reflecting back on this, both pregnancies um or deliveries, I didn't have either parents like there. But the first time Katie or my mom did come to the hospital, she did the second time with Jackson. Unfortunately, she did not. My my dad wasn't there for either of them. Wow. And so the best reminder was to me that no matter what I'm doing, when my boys call me, I'm gonna do the same thing. Try to be as like relaxed as I can, but tell them, hey, bud, I'm if I'm not in the same state or whatever, I'm gonna get on a plane, I'm gonna fly out, I'll be at the hotel. You let me know when I can come. I just want you to know I'm there, dude. You know, whatever and whatever that looks like. Whatever that looks like. If you are you wake up at you know five in the morning, you can text me that you just want some donuts or whatever, I will go pick them up and I'll just drop them off. It's like let me know what you need, but please, but please, please let me do something.

SPEAKER_01 37:37

You know what I mean? Like I want I want to help, and then whatever that looks like to you guys, you fill in the blanks, but I'm coming. Yes, and like you said, I love that. And we've talked about this before, and I think that's yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:47

If you are in that situation now in that stage of life, and you're listening and you have a grown child that they're about to experience this, just be there. Just be that. Let them know you are there. You're not gonna overstep. You there's nothing you you're gonna go do, but just be there in that space for them. That's almost just enough.

SPEAKER_01 38:09

Man, this is a good episode. This is really good. I hope it doesn't uh have the reverse effect on Zach and freak him out. I don't think it is. I don't think it was. He's got this. You're gonna be good. He's got it. I mean, you guys are awesome. Congratulations on the on the baby that's on its way. It's on its way. Couple weeks. Let's go.

SPEAKER_00 38:24

Is it end of April that he's coming? Like I think it will be mid April. Mid April. Yeah, it's supposed to be end of April, but they're already saying possibly two weeks before. So I love it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:33

Well, congrats you too. Congrats. Hey, thanks for listening to the uh dadhood podcast here. Dadhood.co. If you want to check out the website, absolutely. Check out our nonprofits.

SPEAKER_00 38:42

Yes, there's a lot of fun things in the works for sure.

SPEAKER_01 38:44

So we appreciate you guys, and uh, we'll talk to you soon.

SPEAKER_00 38:47

All right, take it easy.

SPEAKER_01 38:51

Yeah, something that we forgot to mention. We did something that was uh really cool. They call it contrast therapy, and that is cold plunge and a sauna experience. Something that you introduced me to as far as that whole world that we've been experiencing together and this place that we went to, ritual recovery, yes, downtown.

SPEAKER_00 39:08

They make it genuinely a full experience and they guide you through the whole session. So you not only feel supported, but you can feel the therapeutical elements. They're they're killing it.

SPEAKER_01 39:19

So we met Sarah down there. We did a little uh sauna, cold plunge, sauna, cold plunge, kind of back and forth, not realizing until talking to Sarah that you should end with the the cold plunge.

SPEAKER_00 39:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 39:30

That is important to keep that, like get the dopamine so that way you're ready to go throughout the day. Because if you end on the flip side with the sauna, then you kind of got that like you know, you're kind of crashing.

SPEAKER_00 39:39

Apparently, that cold, then your body has to re-regulate itself. And it felt amazing. Like, I don't know how you felt, but I felt great. Like hours later, you're still feeling the benefits.

SPEAKER_01 39:49

Yeah, like the whole day. So uh we'll put the their information within the podcast description.

SPEAKER_00 39:54

Absolutely. And don't forget, mention dadhood if it's your first time booking a session. They're gonna give you 50% off your first experience, which is so generous. That's awesome. That's ritual recovery. Yes.