DADHOOD

From Quitting to Commitment: Teaching Kids to Stick With It

• Thomas McMinn / Frankie Corrigan • Episode 92

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0:00 | 47:14

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In this episode of the DADHOOD Podcast, we dive into the challenge every parent faces — getting kids to stick with something when it gets hard. From starting guitar lessons to daily practice battles, we talk about motivation, discipline, and why sometimes parents need to give their kids that extra push. We also reflect on our own childhood experiences, the things we wish our parents had encouraged us to continue, and how those lessons shape the way we parent today. If you’re raising kids, teaching perseverance, or navigating hobbies and commitments, this episode will hit home.

Chapters

00:00 – Introducing Guitar Lessons
02:10 – Why Kids Resist Practice
05:18 – Learning Through Parenting
08:02 – Regrets From Our Own Childhood
11:40 – The Importance of Consistency
14:27 – Pushing Kids Without Breaking Their Spirit
18:05 – Encouraging Passion & Growth
21:33 – Final Thoughts on Parenting and Perseverance

Key Takeaways

  • Kids often want to quit when things become difficult — consistency matters.
  • Parents play a huge role in encouraging perseverance and discipline.
  • Looking back, many adults wish they had stuck with hobbies or skills longer.
  • Practice and repetition are essential for growth, especially with music.
  • Gentle accountability from parents can help kids build confidence and resilience.
  • Supporting a child’s interests early can create lifelong passions.
  • Parenting is about balancing encouragement with patience.
  • Growth happens when kids learn to push through challenges.

Thanks for listening to the DADHOOD Podcast. If this episode resonated with you, make sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another dad who’s figuring it out one day at a time.

SPEAKER_01

Hey, how are ya? Good, my man. How are you? Doing great. Welcome to Dadhood. Welcome. So this feels good. We got the we got the ambient. I like how you just have the living room. It's a very nice, chill vibe in here.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, thank you. Minus the random drum set that we're trying to piecemeal together here.

SPEAKER_01

So this is Liam's, I guess. This is Liam's from Liam, his uncle that gave it to him, right? Yeah. He was excited about that. He was telling me about it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so we're just trying to figure out what goes where and and all of that and and kind of feel out like how into this is he really.

SPEAKER_01

Right. Right. And how how does it feel so far? Like how how do you do you think he's into it? Because it from the conversations we had when we were up in Boise, he seemed to be into it.

SPEAKER_02

That's the crazy thing. I think in my mind, I'm wanting him to like kind of fade out of it. Oh, yeah, yeah. But he's just like having a great time. Yeah, and I thought it'd be cool too if like Uncle his uncle Taylor could come over and like set it up. Set it up a little bit, you know what I mean? And jam and show him like that's a nice drum set. Oh, yeah, it's cool. It's it's an older one, but it you know, it works. And it's kind of one of those like again, trial like, are you really into this before we start dumping a bunch of money into fancy stuff that you probably don't even need?

SPEAKER_01

I feel yeah. So, Axel, because you guys started and there was like and and it's so close, and we had heard about this place, and we're like, you know what? And and he started drums a bit ago and then kind of faded out. It was that school of rock, and it was I don't know, it just seemed like maybe at the time it wasn't for him only because they were kind of trying to figure things out. So when I would go to pick him up, he was there like an hour and a half, and then he's like playing tag with other kids, and I'm like, What are you doing? He's and I'm like, Did you do any music today? He's like, Well, we did a little, so I think they're trying to figure stuff out, and at that, so in the meantime, we're paying a lot of money. I was like, Okay, we're gonna pull him out right now. Yeah, uh, and then that was a while ago, but then we decided to get him into because of you guys, like, yeah, let's let's get him into guitar lessons. Nice. So he just started his first lesson, and he seems to really like it, but yeah, having the same conversation with him, like, dude, you gotta practice, and I can play guitar. I play by ear, so I don't really I wish I would have had my parents kind of pushing me because we had music in the house, sure, but it wasn't, and I took two lessons when I was 12. That didn't go any, and it was like this hot 16-year-old chick. I think it told you that.

SPEAKER_02

And I was thinking, you know, like in my head, like an 80s movie, like and it wasn't like it out because I'm playing.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. Two uh lessons, and I was like, okay, I'm out. Uh but I wish my parents would have kind of pushed me a little. And I go back to the taekwondo thing. That's the thing, too, where I'm like, we just kind of let him quit that after three years and hoping that'll pick it up later on. He just wasn't into it. He was doing it for us, and I don't want him doing anything just for us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So see, and this is a fine line because I was thinking about this when you were saying it, because you're like, I don't want to push too hard. What is that metric? Like, where do we say is like, is this too hard? Yeah. Because I think the when we're when you and I are talking about like pushing our kids too hard, it's very different than like these like like football dads that are just like you're gonna go out there and keep up at 4 30 in the morning. Yeah, you're running. Yeah, you better do two sets before your practice. Like, like that's like you know what I mean? When we're talking about it, it's more like holding them accountable. And I think that it's important. I know you think that this sucks right now and you don't want to go do it or whatever, but get in the car, dude. You're gonna thank me. You're going to thank me.

SPEAKER_01

And you're gonna appreciate this. You will may not seem like it now.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So that's and I think because of the taekwondo thing for us, I'm like, you know what? He's he's staying in this. Yeah. So, and I told him like the other day, and I hate that. Like, you got me sitting every time I say that, like I told him. So we were talking the other day, uh, and I was like, dude, you've got to do at least 30 minutes a day, and I'll help you because I can play. I play by ear, but I wish, and I told him, I said, I wish Nana would have pushed me, you know, where I learned like what you're learning, because that's key. That would be the the difference between me just kind of tinkering with it, which I love. Yeah, it's very therapeutic, but maybe I could have done something else with it. Yeah, like played in a band, and I said, and you could realistically be in like a teenage band if if if you wanted, which would be such a fun experience. Yeah, that would be so cool. I would have loved to do something like that.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you know, then you would have gotten the chicks. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01

That's so funny. All right, so you just got your uh you said you got a physical display.

SPEAKER_02

Just when I got the physical, which is funny. The the doctor's so cool, but it is weird being in my 40s now, and you walk in and the doctors are either your age or younger. You know what I mean? That is yeah, it's it's a very weird thing because I remember always going and being like, Man, the doctors are old and they know so much. Now I'm going in, I'm like it's flipped. I'm like, I'm like, this dude is somewhat I could kick it with and have like a beer. So he was like, just really cool. And we're shooting the breeze at the first. And I'm like, all right, we're getting the niceties out of the way before we start inspecting my body kind of before he's like, I gotta put my finger up your butt.

SPEAKER_01

Which he didn't do. I'm like, damn it. What the fuck? Because they do it a blood test now. They do the blood test now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So what's interesting is he goes, Hey, on this birthday, because I'll be 45 this year. Okay, he's like, Call me. We're setting up that colonoscopy. I was like, Oh man, damn it. He was really cool about it. He's like, bro, it's no big deal. Dude, I've had nine of them. You maybe next one frequent flyer mile. Yeah, you get that punch card. The next one I get for free and a free t-shirt. So he's like, it's really not bad.

SPEAKER_01

You get an awesome nap for like it feels like you're you're asleep for hours and you're you're only asleep for like 40 minutes or something. But yeah, you too. I I it sounds so weird, but I actually look forward to well, I do because you know this the stuff runs on my my my dad's side, so that's why we started getting them at a young age. I was in my 30s getting uh but I I I feel good because I know a lot of times when they go in there, they'll find like the polyps, the polyps and they'll cut them out. Yeah. And so I know that it's clean and clear for the next bit until I get another one. So it's I'm usually like two to three years, I'll get another one.

SPEAKER_02

And he's like, it's great. The thing, whatever you drink, apparently, he's like, it clears you out, man. Oh, it does. He's like, so in that regard, I'm like, man, I kind of wanted to go to one of those facilities that they pump you and clear you out anyway. I'm like, nah, this might be might be my good opportunity.

SPEAKER_01

Well, the prep process now is different than what it was years ago, so it's it's not as bad. So I mean, you're still it is what it is, and it clears you out. Sure. But it's not uh as nasty of a process as it used to be. Okay, and then the actual uh anesthesia is much cleaner now. So I remember years ago, like some of my first ones, it would wipe me out the whole day. I would just feel tired the whole day.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

So you know, you come home, you're groggy, and you'd go to sleep and be asleep for hours. And it was kind of like if you're getting on a Friday and it's like early on that Friday, that whole day is shot. Okay. It's just shot. It's not like that now. So I mean, you're not supposed to operate heavy machinery or I think even drive for like the I think maybe part of the day, or I can't remember if it's all of the day or part of the day, but you don't feel I mean, it's so clean. You come out and you feel groggy for a little bit, and then an hour later you feel like nothing ever happened.

SPEAKER_02

So that's on the agenda this year, which is fun. Something I look forward to after they're like the insurance company I run with doesn't for it's like they don't cover it, it's a major one in Utah. Okay, and they do not allow you to get blood work like prior to going into your appointment. Why? So what is this exactly? And he even said that he's like, I don't know why they don't do this. Usually we do it, we can talk about it. And this is a doctor. This is a doctor This is a doctor saying it. I don't know why. I don't know why. Long story short, at the end, I go in, the lady that calls me back. I always get kind of a little anxious. Yeah, I don't know why. I don't, I'm not a huge fan of needles. Yeah, I don't like them either. So I'm like, okay, who's and I think about this before. I'm like, who's gonna be doing this? Like, do they know what the hell they're doing? You know, because it's like phlebotomy. I don't know. Did you just go do a weekend course and you're like what the deal is? I know it's more than that. So the lady walks out, and this is super judgmental, bro. But she walks out, very old. She's kind of like walking, a little like you know, like hunched over, and then she starts the process and she makes a comment. So my veins like protrude out. Yeah, yeah. Like, if you miss my veins, this occupation is not freaking.

SPEAKER_01

On your first day, you should be hitting a vein. I'm giving you this. This is a gimme.

SPEAKER_02

Like, this is like, yeah, like here you go. And she looks and she goes, I might need you to, when I put the needle in, kind of roll your arm over. And I was like, All right, lady. Do we need to call a manager? Now my like heart rates are gonna go up. I'm like, oh my god, she's gonna like stab me like 30 times to try to get this needle, which is a one and done situation.

SPEAKER_01

After three, they're supposed to get their their superior with that. Because I've had that happen. I should have just said, get your superior. Yeah, yeah. I've had that happen. We're they're like first time, like, oh, we're gonna try a second, and I think it's the third time. Come on, dude.

SPEAKER_02

At that point, you're like, I know.

SPEAKER_01

I'm gonna go home. I'm gonna go home. We're done. Yeah, we're done. I'll come in next time. Yeah, we're not. I'll find a different clinic.

SPEAKER_02

My God.

SPEAKER_01

So was she able to get what she needed?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and she I was like, I'm not rolling my arm, lady. I'm gonna do that, and you're stabbing an artery or something. I'm like, this is ridiculous. You're gonna blow a vein. Yeah, yeah. And then she was so like aggressive with everything. She pulled this needle out of my arm.

SPEAKER_01

You're like, look, lady, I'm not your first husband. I don't know what you're doing here.

SPEAKER_02

She like, I'm like watching it, like she moved faster pulling that needle out than she was moving when like getting the preppage, right? So I'm like, oh my gosh. Walking, and you're fasting at this point. Yeah. So I'm just like, I'm already hangry. Like, I'm biting my tongue not to say something in this way. You did eat something before this, then, right? Well, yeah. Okay, good. So you're not just a little bit. I mean, I'm like, a little bit more, but we're good. So um, I don't even know where we're going with this, dude. But I I get it. Uh and then, oh, a follow-up. There was one vaccine that apparently like I needed the third in a series of nine. I don't know what the call they are, you know. And they're like, oh, you need this one. So the the lady that came in or the the phlebotomist? No, so she's like the nurse practitioner. Okay. She comes in, and on my previous physical, this is the only times I go into the doctors usually, is like for these physical. That's probably not a bad thing. I mean, you know, what is the I don't know. Well, last time she came in and there was like two series I needed of of it was like the hep B third round or whatever. Like now you're looking at three that you need to get. So the last time I was in there, not this, not today, but the previous time, Frankie, she was about to put them in my arm, and the doctor walks in and said, Those are the wrong ones. Oh my god. I'm not, I'm not joking. And these are like So you were minutes away from getting it. I don't know what the hell I was about to get in my body, right? That's scary. So he says, I'm putting in the order right now because they have a system, and I think they're supposed to scan it. Do they have a system? I don't know. That's what I'm saying. Like, I'm like, what scanning systems are you using back there? Or is someone still reading old numbers and like walking down, you know, like zero, five, seven. Like, where's my notebook? Like, what? I'm like, is this not something that you just scan, scan and it verifies it and you're off? She's walking in with this third set right today. She puts the needle down. She drops like the This isn't the woman that took the blood. This is the one that's a different one. Okay. Okay. She drops like the swab. It's not like open yet. Okay. Drops on the floor. So she drops on the floor. She's like, Oh, I'm just having one of these days. And I'm like, Oh no. Oh my God, I'm I'm the person in your day in this one day, right? That's not what you say. Don't say that out loud. And then dude, it gets better, bro. Oh now she like disinfects the arm, whatever. She grabs the needle and she's like, And are you thinking from the last visit? Like, I hope these are the right. But I don't know what the hell the name of it is. Are we sure this is the right one? Like, or what do we get? Because last visit it wasn't. It's like, yeah, oh, sorry, that's for a different disorder. You know, and so she now she does the shot. Okay. She goes to put the band-aid on. Half the band-aid is stuck to her glove. Oh no. Okay. She puts half it on and then pulls it away, and she's like, Oh, I just I can't today.

SPEAKER_01

Oh and then just walk out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

She's like, I hope, I hope the rest of the day gets better. And I'm thinking, oh my God. And now I'm getting ready. So this is leading up to getting the blood drawn. And now like so this is fueling that anxiety, man. Yeah. Jesus. And it's like the lack of like food.

SPEAKER_01

And this is 101 stuff, though. This is stuff that like, you know, outside looking, I mean, for anybody listening, this is 101. Like, you should you're in that position. If you're having a bad day, that is something in especially in the context of what you're with a patient. Oh man. You don't verbalize that.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, it's like keep that to yourself. You don't verbalize it.

SPEAKER_01

Not saying that you shouldn't, but this isn't the time or the place to be like, oh man, I am having a having a day, having a week.

SPEAKER_02

I was waiting for the next line to come out, being like, I probably shouldn't be here today. And then I'm like, okay, so now really, what did you put in my arm? You know? So what was it?

SPEAKER_01

Do you know what it was?

SPEAKER_02

Like supposed to be the vaccine? So before I went to Africa, like they had to do certain vaccines. Are you still getting vaccines from that? Dude, still from that. So this was like how many years ago? Because I don't go to the follow-ups. So it's like a series that should have been a three-week, maybe four-week series, is like four years for me. Does it even work now? Many years later? I don't even know. But it was like the last of like a Hep B vaccine, like literally a third series or whatever. Is this even doing anything? Or am I pumping just random grab in my body? I don't know, dude. So how did the rest of the visit go? Is it okay? Or yeah. So luckily, like sounds like a pretty shitty visit. Dude, and I'll be honest, like, even the way the clinic's set up, like I and I'm not naming anything on here because that's is it archaic or what it's just it feels very like government. So I worked obviously for like state and government. It feels very like sterile and stale. Yeah, it's like even the furniture, it's like I feel like I'm in like an incarceration, like in like the 70s in like an institution or something like that. I'm like, dudes, can you guys not make this like just more welcoming?

SPEAKER_01

Isn't that interesting? Because that seems 101 to me as well.

SPEAKER_02

Like you're a healthcare facility.

SPEAKER_01

Why aren't you trying to make it somewhat pleasant, you know, aesthetically, visually, you know, so you feel comfortable in the waiting room.

SPEAKER_02

Dark, old front, neon lights kind of so it's like, yeah, at that and then like I don't know how you are, you go in and I'm like hyper focused on all the patients that are like coming in and out. And I'm like, I wonder what that guy's got. And then people just not gonna like they're just like dealing with some nasty stuff. And I'm like, I'm just here for I feel really good.

SPEAKER_01

Like when they take short breaths in, yeah, yeah. I'm like fully in. Yeah, but I'm not doing fully in, I'm just doing short breaths in, short breaths out.

SPEAKER_02

I don't want to take in too much. But I feel like I have to get home and do like my own routine to like balance it out. Right. I'm like, I need an emergency pack. I need to do Wim Hop breathing. Yeah, cold, you know. Did you do all that when you got home? I haven't yet. No, because this was like I don't know, maybe 30 minutes before you got there. I was like, I I gotta go, guys, gotta get the hell out of here. How long have you been going there? Um like for years? No, so I was going somewhere before because I was working when I was working for the state, I went to a different facility. So this one now that's on my own personal insurance is a different one, which I did it because of Proximics. Right. Because I was like, I don't want to drive into the middle of the valley, I'd rather go somewhere close. But yeah, and it's fine. My doc the primary doctors, cool dude. Like I dig him, I I like enjoying.

SPEAKER_01

Do you think you're at a place with him, like as far as uh your rapport that you have with him? Could you say, hey man, just some I don't know, some feedback on the clinic? Is there I could, but I'm like, dude, this guy doesn't give a shit.

SPEAKER_02

Like not only that, like he would, but he's probably like, bro, I know.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, he's like, this is part of my residency. Like, I'm I'm supposed to be here another three years and then I'm out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

He's like, he's like, dude, I know, but I don't run this facility, kind of a thing. And I don't want to be like, I feel like that's one of those Dr. Rick moments where I'm gonna be like, this facility sure like I'm gonna tell her right. Yeah, I'm gonna like look at the doctor and be like, you know, your furniture in the lobby really needs an upgrade. And he's like, he's like, bro, I'm one of like 12 physicians here, like it's not my facility, you know.

SPEAKER_01

I'm just trying to stay afloat. So we're like I want to talk in insurance. So like this is something that we've been kind of griping to each other about like during coffee and just in the last little bit, but I just decided to go from the plan that I have, uh a private plan, or you know, like we're buying our own insurance. So Axel and I are on this insurance plan. The one that we had was almost like, you know, after everybody's premiums went up. Ours went up to like it started off, I think, about uh over a year ago at like eight something.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Then it went to nine something. And then with this last whatever that nobody knows what the hell's going on with our insurance, and especially the government, uh, it's like just shy of eleven hundred bucks for two people. Yeah. For the for the most basic, basic, basic insurance. Oh, yeah. I mean, this isn't like there's no no filling.

SPEAKER_02

This is you get a card.

SPEAKER_01

Pretty much. You get a card in just one. And just what? Just one card. You know, I was talking to some other people and friends, and they were like, well, I'm on this kind of, it's called the, I think, I don't know if it's called this or if it's kind of the nickname, but it's called the catastrophic plan. I love it. Yeah. So this is something that like basically for the first $10,000, like if something happens, it's you know, coming out of our pocket. Sure. And that's Axel and myself. So that could be $20,000 or you know, it's something happens to me, it's $10,000, and then it kicks in.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Uh and and as far as office visits, I pay for those, I pay for all the stuff out of pocket. Yeah. Which in my mind, as I'm kind of doing the basic math, carrying the one, I'm like, okay, that's cheaper than what I'm doing and what I have been doing for the last couple of years. Uh almost 11 or almost a grand a month. Yeah. Nothing to show for it. Yeah. Like as far as it'd be 12 grand a year.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, you're already over that 10,000 catastrophic level anyway.

SPEAKER_01

Right. So that's something that I it's gonna kick in at the first of May. Talking to our insurance broker, he said, Look, the plan that you were that you that you were on, and then this catastrophic plan, he said, depends on what happens. Like if you were still on this plan, he said, You might be paying up to 9,000 bucks out of your pocket anyway. So it's not really that far off from what you know, and save your money with this one.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So that's what he was telling me. I'm like, I appreciate that. That's kind of what I needed to hear.

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

Because I was on the fence about it. I'm like, I'm just and I have another friend that has done it. But then even it went for it was supposed to be like 150 bucks a month, and then he said it went up to like to like two something. And then because I take a blood thit, I take a blood pressure med, it's Laciniprol. He goes, now that's gonna he throws it up to like $335 a month. So it goes from like two something to like three thirty, and I'm like, it's still cheaper than almost eleven hundred, but it's just it just they nickel in dime you, and it just pisses me off that this insurance racket is what it is.

SPEAKER_02

Dude, it's the same thing. Like, we've been talking about it with the car. So I have a nasty like crack across my windshield. I don't want to do the insurance claim. Oh, right, where they say, you know, it'd go from maybe an eight hundred dollar windshield with the insurance claim, and out of pocket it's like sixteen hundred or whatever because then my premium goes up to utilize the service that I pay for every month. I don't I can't wrap my brain around it, dude. It's a racket. It's a racket. It is, it is, especially driving a motor vehicle. They say like it's the law, you have to have insurance on the vehicles. So it's like, dude, what in the world? Like this is where I get excited about the future of like AI technology and stuff. I'm like, because some of these systems that I think have been like just milking it and getting away with it for so long, getting fat for so long. I think they're getting pushback now with people who are like, wait a minute. No, no, no. Yeah, here's a different way. Here's a different way, and I know the way around now, yeah, because it's out there, and you're getting scammed, and you're you know, yeah, you're like, okay, cool.

SPEAKER_01

Well, you know, the beater vehicle that I'm looking to, I'm gonna donate this thing, and I'm kind of reached out to a couple local charities. Uh, but I've got this 2,000 grand charokee, it's a Jeep grand Cherokee, yeah, and it's got a salvage title. I put a couple grand into it recently to get it running, so it runs. Yeah, you know, it's got some body issues. I got got in an accident with it, like when Axel was little, I got hit. But it still runs, it's still a it's a beast and a beater, 230,000 miles on it. So at the point when I got it from so when it was at the mechanic, it was over at Cottonwood Garage not far from here, and they kind of held held onto it for a bit. I just took it off the insurance because I'm like, at this point, I'm not driving it.

SPEAKER_00

Sure.

SPEAKER_01

But then I get a thing from like the DMV saying, uh, you're not gonna be able to register this until you pay this fine because you haven't had it insured. It's like, I'm not driving it. If the house or something happens where it catches on fire, I'm SOL. I get it. Why do why the fuck do I need insurance? And why are you telling me that I need it? And then I get penalized. So saying if you want to get, you know, get your car registered again, you got to pay the $150 fine because you didn't have insurance and insurance on top of that. You got to get insurance. Like, screw you.

SPEAKER_02

That's so ridiculous.

SPEAKER_01

Like, really, we gotta, you know, charge me something. Like, what is it? What does it even matter to you? Right? Like, unless something happens, and then again, if it catches on fire or burns up or something happens to it, you're like, I get it. Yeah, I'm out. A meteor comes out of the sky and crushes it. Yeah, um SOL. Yeah, it's not insured, it's a salvage title for crying out loud. Outside of that, how you doing?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, doing really well, man. What was it yesterday? Oh my god. I was oh this so we met up with this couple to have like coffee with them um yesterday. And when I say yes, Katie and I did. We were like just having a normal like conversation, dude. And one of those moments of the reality of how fast my boys were growing up just kicked in, dude, and I totally felt like my eyes like watering up, and I was like, I don't want to talk about this shit. So Katie and I, and then this other couple we're all talking. She shared a photo. She's like, Oh, I want you to see this photo of my daughter. She's graduating from um preschool, going into kindergarten, and and and showed the thing at five, and I was like, and I was like, Yeah, my son. And I was like, uh oh, here it comes. I was like Is leaving elementary school in like five weeks. I think it's like five and a half weeks or whatever right now, to the end of school. And I was like going to like middle school. And then I thought about I'm like, and these sons of bitches, the school that is. I thought you about the couple. No, no, I'm like, man. And these sons of bitches. I was like, F your photo. No. The school does a clap out on the last day. Oh. I don't like that shit, dude, because it reminds me of this whole like saying goodbye. And that triggers me. And I was like, so I will be the weird dad with the sunglasses on. I can't. And then you won't, you're not gonna be the only one. No, and the second the second he walks to the end of the line, I'm beelining it the hell out of there. Just joking. Um, but it was like, it just kicked in, dude. And I was like, wow, how fast this journey is going, dude. It's quick.

SPEAKER_01

It hit like the other day in the car, too. I was just thinking about, I don't even know what it was. Just thinking, I was listening to something, the telepathy tapes, and then we were talking about that, and there was something that was whatever it was, triggered a thought. It was a memory and a thought, all in one, and then I just started the same thing. And then I was thinking, I think of what I was doing. Then I jumped into the future, like when he's older, and I was like, gosh, I just want to, you know, I know, I don't know. I just you worry about him, and then you want to spend time with them, and you hope that there's a relationship. I hope I'm alive at that point because we had him, you know, at an older age. Anyway, so yeah, I was all over this the other day, and I get it, man. It just kind of hit you.

SPEAKER_02

Do you ever have these moments though? This is what like really mess with me. So I'll have this, and I'm like, all I want to do is see my boys. I just want to see them. Yeah. And then the second I see them, they do like some dumb boy thing that they're doing or whatever. I'm like, why was I so damn excited to see these little bastards? Like, I don't even give a shit that I'm here.

SPEAKER_01

They say something smarmy to you, like, really?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I'm like thinking this is gonna be an awesome moment. We're gonna connect when they get home. I just want to see them, and then they're like, What's in the fridge? What's for dinner? And I tell them for dinner and they're like, that's the worst, you suck.

SPEAKER_01

I'm like, oh, okay, thank you. We want to have a conversation, we need to level up into another house. Like, what? And then they just piss you off.

SPEAKER_02

I'm like, I'm about to clap your ass out of my house right now.

SPEAKER_01

That's funny. So we were talking about this, and I caught uh, and I want to maybe get your uh opinion on this. Sure. I know with kids it's normal where they test the lying thing. I know that because we've talked to experts and stuff like that over the years. And he does it every way, like the last couple of weeks, we caught him lying, and it was about what he was watching. And both times it wasn't anything like when it came down to it, and I saw what he was, and other times I was I'm like going through the iPad just to make sure when he's not there, yeah, yeah, looking at the history. Sure. And it's nothing, I don't know what it is, but this last one, this was a couple of days ago. He's you know, he comes home from school. I'm trying to think. So he made something like lunch, and then he's sitting on the on the couch, and I was upstairs editing, and I come down and all of a sudden he turns the iPad off and throws it to the side. And then I see this. Of course, right then and there, it's like, look, man, what are you hiding? You know? Yeah. It's blatant, he's hiding something. So I said to him, I said, Well, what were you watching? And he goes, uh, I was watching the penguin movie, which bullshit, you're not watching, you know, you don't act like that watching the penguin movie. And I just said to him again, I said, dude, because we caught him a week prior lying.

SPEAKER_02

Now, was he supposed to be on the iPad at this time? Yeah, he was it was okay for him. It's okay.

SPEAKER_01

Like we let him on for a little bit after he gets home, after he eats, and that sort of thing. But uh but that whole thing with him throwing it, turning it off and throwing it on the pillow next to him on the couch. And I said, So uh I said, You weren't watching the penguin movie. What what were you watching, man? And he goes, Oh, I was just watching mammoth highlights. And again in my head, I'm like, and I said to him, That's not the reaction that I saw you throw. I said, dude, you weren't watching the mammoth highlights. What were you watching? And he his head goes down. And I said to him, like, why are you lying? And be I said, dude, I want to trust you. And he goes, I'm sorry, I was watching YouTube shorts. And I said, Were you? Because now I don't believe you. Get on the iPad. So then it's for a second, he's like, Oh, I don't know the the path. I can't remember. And I'm like, Come on. You're like, no, no, no, no, no. And I said that to him, like, come on. Yeah. So then he gets on and he goes right and right, it went right to what he was watching. I mean, you know, how you open it up and boom. Yeah. And it was a YouTube short, and it was the stuff that I try not to say, like in my head, I'm like, man, that is so stupid. Right, right. You know, and it wasn't anything that was inappropriate, it was just stuff that's kind of in my mind like drivel. Yeah. I said, So explain to me what that was, and he went right into it. So, like what they were doing. And I'm like, okay, so he wasn't. And I said, So why did you lie about that? And I said, So do you understand where I'm coming from? Like, dude, and where when mom and I catch you in a lie, I said, dude, no more, not no iPad, no screen time, no TV, you're not watching shorts on the TV, nothing. Yeah, you're not watching, you're not listening to your like he does this uh Greek and out podcast for kids, and he'll listen to it on the TV. I said, You're not listening to that either. Yeah, no electronics. You're like, you're like all of it. Nothing. Yeah. And he was like, okay. And that's kind of where it went, like, and I'm going all over with this, but that's where he was really sitting down with the guitar and he was practicing and he was doing all these other things. I'm like, geez. And he's not on the iPad that much, but I'm like, just that little like being off the screen time and not watching shit, like, you're awful productive. Right. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So that's kind of like going back to our earlier conversation. But the lying thing, and we had another follow-up conversation with him just last night, you know, and and then the thing that I'm I'm digging like lately, and we've talked about this, we can talk through it, but as things happen, I don't get upset. And I'm upset inside and upset, but I'm not like like yelling. We want to trust you. What are you why are you lying to us? And then he said something like, he goes, Well, you know, when dad comes down, and then I know it's in some way me because when you came came downstairs, I just get I just get scared, like I'm doing something that I'm not supposed to be doing. And I didn't understand it. And I said, So I'm causing this like fear of he goes, Well, I just all of a sudden I I didn't want to tell you what I was watching. And I said, Why?

SPEAKER_02

And I know that that like they shift through certain things, like times. Like Liam was kind of like that before, but it's funny. I don't know if it's because we almost praise him more now when he like tells the truth to the point where Liam's like, Hey, listen, I'm the one that yeah, I did that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Like he's fessing up, yeah. He'll like fess up and he's just like he's like we had that moment at the Airbnb. He'll be like that now. Like, which is um that's great. And I think I go above and beyond in that that I'm like trying to not, I it's not a reward, but I'm trying to praise him for like, dude, that's awesome. For being accountable, like you owned up to your thing, yeah. And look, nothing like nothing bad happens. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like, yes, we talked to you about the situation and don't do it again because you know that that's like what you should or should not be doing. Yeah, but like the fact that you're taking ownership, I appreciate that, dude. That's how we build trust.

SPEAKER_01

I love it, you know. Well, and I did say to Axel too, I said, you know, like as we had the little follow-up conversation about it, I I said, we don't love you any less. Oh, 100%. I said, So when you if you do lie or do something wrong or make a mistake, you're gonna do it. But we we don't love you any less. We still love you. Yeah. So I don't understand what and I said, and I I'm talking to you like I like when I caught you lying, I didn't get crazy or anything, so I don't understand where this is coming from. Yeah. And he's saying, I'm sorry, and I'm like, okay, you say that, but are you? You know, like at this point, like these are that I'll sometimes I'll call him on them. Like those those are just words, boot dude. Like you're when you say I'm sorry, and then you continue to do it again, it doesn't mean anything.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. And it's hard, dude. I know, like they go through phases, they totally go through their moments, their phases. I think what you're doing is awesome. You're setting the foundation that, like, look, you said something, you lied about it, it's not that big of a deal, dude. Mama dad, like, life goes on. You're you know, yes, the consequences you're off of screens, but like the pro is look look at all this other cool stuff you're doing. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like, honestly, there was a a secondary thing there, but like you're setting the foundation that you know what's going on, we know what's going on. Let's just build this trust and this love, and that's how we do it, is by just being open and honest, you know. And that's why we do like the McTruth moments. I like that, yeah. Like, and sometimes, bro, I'm gonna be straight up. Have you done it?

SPEAKER_01

Like, would you do it once a week, or what do you do that? Like, or just be right.

SPEAKER_02

Spontaneous spontaneous. I I would like to do it more, but we will do it often. What especially when there's those moments that I'm like, I need them to hear me say something right now. And so I'll be like, here's a mick-truth moment, guys. When dad has to come down and ask you multiple times to do something, I'm going to get annoyed. Like, and it will be things like that. I'm like, I need you to hear what I'm saying right now. Yeah. And we all know in those moments it's okay to share and no one's gonna get like upset about it. But it's like, I need you to lock in and hear this, right? And then the same way they'll do it too. They'll be like, Mick truth moment, when you said that, it really bothered me. And I'm like, thank you. Yeah, thanks, dude. Because I didn't know it, I was just saying it factually.

SPEAKER_01

Right, right. You know what I mean? And we want to know, yeah. And what about like with Katie? Like, what give an example of something that she said in one of these McTruth moments that you can remember? Yeah. That's um that you can share, that you want to share. With with me or just the family in general? I don't know. It's just as oh yeah, because is it at you go through everybody like this is a McTruth moment for you, and then one for a lot of people?

SPEAKER_02

Sometimes so I'll go back to the Katie thing in a second, but what I do is I open up and I'll say, Hey guys, McTruth moment, like when dad does this, does it bother you? And or I'll say, McTruth moment, what is something dad's currently doing that's getting under your like skin, like bothers you? And I just sit back and I listen, dude. And they'll they'll share stuff.

SPEAKER_01

What if they come back with like these McTruth moments? This is bothering us.

SPEAKER_02

At first, Liam was like, I hate these McTruth. This sucks. And I was like, I was like, right on, dude. Yeah, yeah. Like, and that's space too. Like I was trying to do that. We're gonna still do them. Yeah, thank you for telling me. And it was like, dude, we don't do these to try to annoy you guys. Right. We're doing it because if we can't have open communication in this house, like what can we have? You know, what can we have? Yeah, we have to be able to have these tough conversations and understand that it's not a personal attack, right? They're just something to focus on. Like, really quick before I I'm pointing over here because what happened is Jackson, one of his jobs um that he actually does like get paid for now is undoing the dishes, right? Like unloading the dishwasher. And so we're sitting there, and I don't know what like happened, but I made a comment and no joke, Jackson looks at me and he goes, Way to shame your own kid, dad. Whoa. And I was like, at first I was gonna be like, Hey, watch your mouth, but yeah, you know, and then I'll tell me, and then I thought about it. I'm like, I didn't even view it that way. Yeah, maybe this is some banter I used to do with my friends and stuff, like things we used to say or do that it was just like you're used to, yeah. And not even realizing that now that might not be perceived that way. And I was like, Thanks, dude.

SPEAKER_01

Dude, you know, Axel said something similar to that, and I can't remember specifically what it was, but it was in the last two or three weeks, and it was something along those lines. And he said stuff like this before. So, like in the last six months, he's probably said that maybe a couple few times, different things. Sure. But he'll point something out that I had no idea, and I'll just say to him, like, dude, good call. I'm sorry. Yeah, like good call. Like where I think old, like maybe if it would have been years ago, yeah, and I say, like, you know, like maybe when he was little and maybe a little older, that like if I would have been at a younger age, he was the same age, I would have had this chip on my shoulder, like you don't, you know, like you don't it would have come from that whole, you don't talk to me that way, or how dare you call me out? That kind I would have had that all that inner conflict dialogue going on, and it would have probably pissed me off.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But it's kind of cool when they do say something and you're like, dude, right? You're yes, you're right. You're absolutely right, and I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02

I remember like a situation directly towards that. Like we were in the car driving, and the boys got, and this was a couple of years ago when I wasn't as aware and I was just like in it, right? Yeah, and I remember the boys had made a comment and I said to, I said, I said something back to them like like that, where they were like calling me out, being like, that's like insensitive kind of a thing. Yeah, it's not nice. Yeah, like and and I remember I made so I make this comment. Jackson's like, that's not nice, and I go, and I this is when I wasn't in the thing, and I was like, dude, if you guys are that soft that Misa and dude, like looking at it now, when it was that kind of concept. I'm like, if this is something that you guys are that soft that you can't even hear this, I go, you guys are gonna be in a rude awakening. Like, and I'm going off in the car now looking back at I'm like, dang, dude, what a jerk moment that was compared to now where it is. I'm like, uh, cool. Thank you for sharing that. Like, I it opens my mind to maybe like how I like what I'm saying isn't right.

SPEAKER_01

Well, and I think it's it's just doing things differently because obviously, you know, there it goes back to like our parents, and you know, our parents only knew what they knew, and they did the best they could. And we know, like as we're kind of getting older and learning and becoming more aware, there are you we know the traits and the things that were good, and we know the things that they either said or the way they acted weren't good. And to to see that and to be like, and to choose not to parent that way, I think that's huge. It's like I'm gonna break this, whether it was a cycle or a pattern, I'm gonna break it. Yes, I'm not gonna, and even if it was two or three years ago, the fact that you were there and now you're here, and some people, and who knows, man. There could be guys listening to this going, whatever, you guys are you're soft, you're soft, exactly. And it's like what whatever, man, whatever works for you. But exactly I just know that you know I didn't have that kind of mentality in the house, but there were other traits that you know, with my dad and and my mom that I just look at and like I don't want to do it the way they did it. And they had some great traits. So I mean, I don't know. I think it's kind of cool to be, I don't want to do that.

SPEAKER_02

It is cool, dude. And Katie reminds me a lot of times, and I'll I'll get back to the McTruth moments with her as well. But Katie reminds me a lot of if you take life from the perspective of zero, not based on what you already know, not based off of like what happened in the past or what you're speculating will happen in the future. But if you take life for from the level of zero, you kind of get a different lens of it. Yeah, and I'm taking a cleaner lens. I'm taking that now with the boys of I don't know what I don't know. So when they're bringing awareness to me, I'm trying to have more gratitude. Yeah. Where before I would be like, don't disrespect me and talk back. And that was coming from a fear base that they're not going to respect me and stuff, instead of realizing, dude, they are. They're actually sharing a moment with you of what their life is, like what a gift.

SPEAKER_01

So to get to that point in your life, and I love that you said that, that it where you're able to hear good or bad, external feedback. Because usually external feedback is gonna be something that's a little uncomfortable to hear. Yeah. And I don't like it, but I love it, if that makes sense. So at the same time, I you know, you can have both of those feelings at once where I feel very uncomfortable when I get it, but at the same time, I love it because I don't want to continue being a dick or being this way. What you know, sometimes I know, and then other times I'm like, I had no idea. Right?

SPEAKER_02

And there's some that catch you that you're like, I really had no clue about that whole thing. And now I'm like like hyper-aware of it too, in the sense of like, where else am I acting like that or bringing that energy or I think that's great.

SPEAKER_01

And then we're always kind of like just kind of keep it in mind, like, because we all have we're all human and we all just want to be as self-aware as we can. I think that's what the world needs more of. Yes, not that you're gonna be perfect, you're gonna make mistakes, but again, we go back to the you make a mistake, you you repair it. Yeah. If it's repairable, exactly.

SPEAKER_02

And all the advice that comes in, take it with a grain of salt too. Like there's some things to that last point that it's like I was just not aware at all of this. And there's probably listeners that are like me that when you get that kind of advice, you almost want to go a 360, you know, you want to go or a 180 and go the total opposite direction of it, which ends up like also like stifling you in a way. So it's like take the advice, utilize what you can, have the awareness, but it's like you don't have to like change 100% overnight, but just start becoming aware of it and catching yourself. And over time, then you get to decide if that's something you want to carry forward with you or not.

SPEAKER_01

So can you think of something other than like the kids, maybe something in the past where somebody said something? I'll give you an example of getting external feedback. I was 21, maybe 22 years old. I'd moved from Detroit down to Fort Myers. I was working at the radio station down there, and there was a woman that she did mornings, and I was working all the like swing shift and overnights and all that, and I'm like the newbie. And I kind of, you know, we became friends, and I was friends with like her girlfriends, and we kind of all hung out. I had kind of this thing for her and ended up dating like one of her girlfriends and all that. But I remember I'll never forget this. Like we were at uh at her place, we had come back from I think we came back from a bar. It was the episode of Seinfeld. I can't remember if she used this term, I don't think she did, but you know the close talker episode with Judge Judge Reinhold, where he's like in there, and I come from I mean, an Italian-Irish family, but m more so like on the Italian side, as far as where we were very just loud and literally in your face. I mean, that's how we were and how we grew up. That's all I knew. And she was I was talking to her and she put like gently pushed me back. Oh, physically. Yeah, just gently, and was like, you're a and I don't think she used the term close talker because I don't think that episode was out, but she essentially told me I was a close talker and I didn't know what the hell she's talking about. And then she said, You get right in people's faces when you talk. I had no idea. So I'm you know, luckily I'm only only, I say, like, but I was a young guy, like 21, 22. So it wasn't like I heard this when I was in my 40s, but that moment could I did a complete 190. And I probably still maybe did it, but I was very aware and I tried a lot to not do that. And it still, I still like I said, I so I'm very cognizant and very aware, like when I meet somebody, and now I feel it like if somebody's a close talker, I'm like, woo, you know, it makes me feel a little uncomfortable. Okay. So then I'll just kind of slowly kind of get, you know, give myself some space. Sure. But that was a piece of external feedback that it was shocking, yes, but I needed to hear it. I didn't get pissed. It, you know, it shocked me. Like, holy, how long have I been doing this?

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

And it could have been, like I said, worse. I could have gotten, I could have either gotten that in my mid-40s as far as external feedback or never gotten it.

SPEAKER_02

I totally had a very similar situation. There was no physical interaction, but I was so I was younger at a bar. Growing up, I would constantly get this message. Hey man, you talk too much. You talk too much. I just I and I get excited. People make me excited. What's up, Ron? Speaking of excited, what's up? Um, so just like I love talking to people, right? But I wasn't realizing I was only sharing my own stories and I wasn't really engaging right people.

SPEAKER_01

Which again, I can relate to. I come from a family of that as well. Yeah. People just kind of, and I'm not saying that you did, but like I think that's probably where I came from.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. Originally thinking about it. Yeah. So like, so I'm at this bar and had a few more drinks than I should have. I remember this girl being like, you don't shut up and all you do is talk about yourself.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_02

Unfortunately, at this point, I was like a few drinks in. I'm like, you don't know what the hell you're talking about. Oh, yeah. So you didn't receive it well. But the next morning, that message kept playing over and over. Now, what it did though is it actually threw me into a spiral where I was like, I can't talk almost at all in social situations. Oh, wow. So it really but then the cool thing is, I think I had to go, the pendulum had to swing right the opposite way to realize no, have the conversations, just engage the other person. Yeah. She wasn't upset at the fact that I was talking, she was upset at the fact I was only talking about myself for the whole damn time.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, yeah. But sometimes you need to hear that.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, but you have to hear these things, and it's like that's the difference. Sometimes what we hear, we really have to take into like consideration of how's this impacting other people. Yeah. And sometimes it's gonna be a gut punch, or you know, it's gonna feel like crap, like how long have I been doing this? And you might go down a little spiral. I went down the spiral, my friends, but I came out the other side with more skill sets and ability to actually engage other people and have more meaningful conversations. So it's it's worth it, dude.

SPEAKER_01

I got that piece of advice, or I just maybe not even advice, but I got that external feedback later in life. And I was, you know, working in radio my whole life. I've been in radio for 30 something, 30 plus years. It was a consultant that said that years ago. So at that point, I was probably in radio for, I don't know, 27 years or something when I got that that feedback. And they were like, you talk over people, you talk at people, like on the air, they're listening and they're kind of picking through air checks and stuff. And that was something that I wish I would have heard earlier. And that is a family of origin, no question, because I still deal with that. I think I've told you with my ma, she's that way, my brother. They can just they can just bulldoze into a conversation, and then it doesn't have has nothing to do with the conversation, yeah, and they just kind of talk at you, and that's something that I know I am I can still be guilty of.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And I try to catch myself from from doing that.

SPEAKER_02

Well, it's interesting now because we've talked about it before. When I talk to my dad, he talks at me for the whole time, and I'm like, ah, so this is where I got it from. But then ultimately came back to cool, like what a good skill set because of having that awareness in those moments now, a great opportunity to learn and grow and Become different.

SPEAKER_01

Well, and that's being willing to learn grow. You know, that's just the thing. There's people in this life that no matter what you say, no matter what they hear, external feedback, then it's like that person's an asshole. That's not the person that we're talking about. Hopefully you're you're kind of what we're talking about. If you, you know, and you're not that person, the person that will never, ever, ever change.

SPEAKER_02

Absolutely, man. I I feel like I have to really quick wrap up or talk about Katie's McTruth moment. The difference is with Katie and I, and she's really good at this, we just unpack all that stuff constantly. Like when we go to lunch, we'll be like, hey, I feel like the last couple days you might be annoyed with me. Is anything going on? Nice. Like we just have such a deep relationship with that. Yeah. That I feel like we don't have to really McTruth. I almost think if she came to me with and said a mctruth moment, I'd be like, oh shit. Yeah. Like something like that. Isn't it like every other day a McTru McTruth moment? Yeah, it's gotta be big. I'm like, we go pretty deep, like and know a lot, so it's gotta be something like extreme. Jenny, the one that we met with her husband yesterday. The couple. I I wanted to say because of your your career and on radio. She looked up the data thing. She's like, Oh my gosh, so you and Frankie do the show together. And I was like, Yeah, she's like, I actually, and she went into the whole like because of your experience. She's like, I actually did a Utah Idol. Oh my gosh. I sang Frankie and Jess were judges, and I think even DB or whatever at the time was. Was this badass coffee? Was it South Salt Lake? I don't know where the location. She's like, and they were the judges on it. Oh wow. And she's like, so I interacted with him then, and then she said later on, she was emailing you back and forth. Okay. And she was asking you, she wanted to get into radio. And she said he was so cool about it that like for a year, and she's like, it was like maybe once a month or whatever. He would email me back and we would talk about how I could get into this. So I just wanted to say, like, that's awesome. Dude, just another reminder of your impact on the community and what you've done. And it's awesome. Awesome.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you for sharing that. I appreciate it. Absolutely, man. And that was the event that we did that with. We teamed up with Fox 13. We did it, I can't remember the location, wasn't it? Like, because we did another thing at the badass coffee thing. I think it was like uh singing Grammys for the Grammys. So we had like grandmas on singing songs. That was a different but the Utah Idol thing, yeah. We were at somewhere and like Fox 13 was involved.

SPEAKER_02

And then uh I was gonna say, wasn't it kind of a contest that if they got through the end with you, then they got to go to round two of American Idol when they came here? I think so.

SPEAKER_01

It had something because it was, it was on Fox, Fox 13, so I think it was something with American Idol. So funny. Utah Idol. That's a great but thanks for sharing. Yeah, absolutely, dude. Uh, we're gonna so maybe the next episode or the one after that, we should get the details for our Father's Day event coming up.

SPEAKER_02

You know, check out like the um our Instagram page because we're gonna start sharing a little bit more about what we're doing with the nonprofit too. So not only leading up to the Father's Day, but I think we're gonna be doing some volunteering stuff in the community coming up too. So I love it. Stay tuned.

SPEAKER_01

So dadhood.co.co. And then of course we're on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Absolutely. The dadhood podcast. This is a good conversation, dude. It's awesome, dude. You have a good week. Absolutely. You too. All right.