Riv & Vanessa... just two girls being awkward for an hour or so

I recorded this over a month ago, and just now realized I never uploaded it. Oops. Sorry, Riv.

Anywho, Riv and I act weird for an hour. Enjoy.

As of September 2024, Transcending Humanity is now known as Vanesstradiol! Episodes will be much more sparse from here on out, but I hope to continue bringing you quality content!

Transcript

Vanessa: 0:19

Recording I turned off the time, nice. Okay, that's a great way to start this. Fuck yeah. Oh, reminds me of another podcast comedian I used to follow. Her name's Christina walkenshaw. I don't I haven't heard from her in a while, but like she was a pro burber, and it was one of her things. Yeah, I think her podcast was called chilling off, which, you know,

River: 0:51

I may have heard of it, yeah, I think I may have heard of that.

Vanessa: 0:54

Yeah. I mean, it's something I do frequently. So did I say that loud shit,

River: 1:01

oh shit,

Vanessa: 1:02

yeah, fuck it. Who cares? Not, like anyone watches or listens to the show anyways, so I swear, like I have some big guests coming up, and like we're recording this on this 18th but it's probably not gonna actually come out for three weeks, because on Tuesday, I'm interviewing two Ohio Statehouse reps, and on Thursday, I have Landon Reed and the Castleman, two big Gen Z, leftist people. Landon's been on before, but never had the Castleman, so I'm gonna have them on together, and I'm also working on chasing oz. So this little what I get. We're getting like 50 downloads per episode right now. Yet I'm starting to get some big names. I don't understand how that's working, but so I don't even know where I was going with that. ADHD, anyways, this is transcending humanity. I don't know what episode this is going to be, the views and opinions of us, our own and not well. I mean, I'm my own fucking employer, but riv, you probably don't want to get in trouble. So joined this week by riv, and we're actually doing a trans episode for a change, which it's been hot minute. So riv, introduce yourself. I know.

River: 2:24

Hi. I am riv, short for river, and I am a co host of the transpotting podcast. I also am a metal musician. That was really stupid, and I'm sorry I did it. Barry the river is the artist name. Go check out some trans metal and streaming everywhere that stream stuff. And on Bandcamp you can buy stuff, which is great. So buy stuff, yeah, it goes right to the artist. It's awesome, especially on Bandcamp Fridays. Okay, okay, thanks. Okay,

Vanessa: 3:00

so go to band camp on Fridays, which I don't have band camp, maybe I should. I'm just lazy

River: 3:04

Friday, but they do. If you join band camp as like a member, they will email you and tell you, hey, it's band camp Friday. And then you can go, Cool. I'll go buy Barry the river music. Then, because I know that 100% of my purchases, of my money I give to band camp will go to the artist and not have any of the royalty shit happen where they can, you like,

Vanessa: 3:27

can you explain to the four people listening to this, what Bandcamp is? No, no, okay, I've never heard like, I've heard the name, but just a music download where you can support,

River: 3:40

it's, it's, you know, think of SoundCloud, but you can actually buy stuff. Yeah,

Vanessa: 3:46

we have stuff is great to drive to as well. Like, it's good too. This is stuff I've listened to. Has been, have you started singing in it? Yeah, it's been a minute since I've been on there, but I've,

River: 3:56

I started recording. I've been between the microphones. I don't have very good microphones right now, and I thought I had a pretty good one, but I think the one I'm using on this podcast might be a good contender, but I've been trying to really get that recording stuff dialed in some perfectionist before I release it. But yeah, I'll be doing some screen vocals and clean vocals and surprise myself at how my FEM vocals sound. So

Vanessa: 4:30

that's that's exciting. That's a big thing too. Like the girl who does your trans spotting intro, I remember listening to her on one of the episodes. No, not Marcia. The the intro music,

River: 4:48

oh, the music, yeah.

Vanessa: 4:50

What's her name?

River: 4:51

Yeah? Robin Shakedown, yes, yeah, yeah. Robin.

Vanessa: 4:54

Like, it's hard enough to talk in a femme voice like Riv and I have both done a lot of work. I cheated with surgery, but and because you have to work on all sorts of inflections and stuff, and you have to think about it constantly. And if you're neurodivergent like we are, it's even harder, because your brain sometimes, like, I get a performance thing, like when I'm just home alone, like talking to my dog. Like, I have the most perfect femme voice in the world. And here we go. It's starting to come out. I like this. But once I'm like, out in the wild, all fucking bets are off. I just sound like this. I'm like, Oh man, I can't get anything out. So do you run into that at all? You know? I

River: 5:41

It depends, right? Really depends. I think that being neurodivergent plays into the changes in my voice throughout the day. I think that how stuffed up my noses with allergies in the summertime changes that, but also how much I actually give a shit that day I am. I'm a non binary woman, so sometimes I really I'm cool with sounding kind of androgynous and just kind of having a really monotone voice. And that's possible part of being neurodivergent. Sometimes it's like, Oh, I'm just gonna give you information, and I'm a knot in the stone. But also when my voice is a little bit on the Andro side, I've noticed that men the when I'm dealing with them in a say, work, I work in tech, when I'm and I'm a leader at my my company, that they tend to listen more and they tend to respect me more. So I've had a lot of success of just not thinking too hard about it and just kind of focusing on projecting confidence, which is literally something that you just, you just pretend to have, and that means that you have it. I've learned and it's not something I have constantly. It's only something I have when I'm pretending to have it, which is what I'm talking to men in the tech environment. Because it's hard as a woman to deal with that bullshit. Yeah? So long winded way of saying, sometimes I care, sometimes I put effort into it. It depends on my comfort level, and what I'm feeling like doing that day, it's hard, and yeah, I can, like,

Vanessa: 7:26

I purposely don't talk on the phone. My voicemail says, Hi, this is Vanessa. Send me a text. So I couldn't imagine that, like having to actually talk to guys all the time and the bullshit misogyny that you have to deal with. So especially having us both lived our lives for decades, masquerading as as boys, and so we know how they think, which is a very unique position to be in. And yeah, where I was going with this with my little flitty ADHD, was with Robin. Robin can sing in a femme voice, and it is fucking mind blowing, because it is so hard just to talk in it. And switching to a singing voice is amazing. And the fact that you're starting to get on that like that's, that's fucking bad. Yes,

River: 8:25

I've been doing it for a while. It's just the perfectionism, right? And I think, I think the biggest hurdle that I hurdle recently I've been trying to get over has been projection, projecting while singing with a feminine register, and it's less about it's less just like speaking. It's less about pitch. It's more about resonance and more about vocal mass, which I will say, what's really funny is that the fact that I can still do a very deep focal like metal screen, and also a kind of medium to higher metal screen kind of sort of in the range of like, if you've heard the artist, known as Daedric, she has a kind of a medium to low range vocal, kind of kind of range for her scream that actually helped me figure out how to control my vocal cords more to speak and sing, you name, more of them than men. So you heard it here first. Kids practice your metal screams, and you'll be sounding like this in no time.

Vanessa: 9:38

I mean, it makes sense too, because you're you're giving your that my the hardest part I have just talking normally is projection, like pulling up to at a drive through speaker, like almost all the time, people are like, What, I can't hear you. And I'm like, I thought I was talking loud, but maybe I'm just used to having a microphone in front of me or something. But, yeah, projection is, it's a big thing.

River: 10:06

Takes time, takes time in practice. It does, it

Vanessa: 10:08

does definitely. So, oh, I forgot to mention Patreon. You can support our show on Patreon, if you'd like, I would really like that. Yeah, do. And support Riv as well on Patreon, transplanting to support all all the Patreons. Or probably even better yet, just as as she said, download her, build her, building her music and the stuff that you pay for and the show, pretty much, I would say, 20% of my show is just me trying to get money out of people. And it doesn't work, but I guess it makes me feel better about myself. So it's just you loan sharking the entire time. I know, right? So anyways, right back. My dog's like, coming up and say hi, so I asked Riv to be on this week, and hopefully, like we'll see Rayvon more often too, whenever she wants, because sometimes it's kind of nice to have a co host and not do everything myself. But anyways, I was scrolling through some old photos on my computer, and I came across some dick pics that I that were still somehow in there from like my eye photos from way back when, which I had sent consensually. I whenever I sent those in the past, they're always at the request of the other party. I need to make that very clear,

River: 11:43

don't cancel Vanessa.

Vanessa: 11:45

I know, I mean, I'm already canceled, but it blew my fucking mind, because it looked so foreign, like completely different. I At first, I didn't realize that it was me, and then I'm like, Well, why else would these be on my phone, or not even on my phone anymore, buried in there. So I sent Riva message. I'm like, it wasn't the dick pic, I promise. No, I did not send a dick pic. Thank you. I send it to my girlfriends because they curious see what it was like, and they both prefer my pussy, and so do I. But

Unknown: 12:33

I like,

Vanessa: 12:36

where did my brain go? It just died. It does this all the time. Oh, and it felt foreign. Yes, foreign. Thank you. So I asked riv, like, not regarding, like, dick pics and stuff in the past, but we've both been transitioning a fair amount of time. Riv, you're at about four years, right, and I'm closing in on three. And so our past selves are it's not so fresh in our minds anymore. And I don't know about you, but like most of the people I know now, never knew me as Jeremy, my dad. You don't have to reveal yours. I was just doing it for the context. And now almost everyone I talk with his only Arino me As Vanessa, so the old me is just like it's faded into absolute oblivion. But it's kind of weird when you see pics of yourself or hear your voice from the past, what does that do to your brain?

River: 13:44

It feels like someone's walking over my grave where like it's it's so strange because I so here's one example I I used to do. I tried doing streaming for a little bit when I was pre transition and I was playing like destiny. I was not very good at video games, but I did a pretty funny commentary. I would think I always been a little bit witty, and yeah, that I've always had a very like a radio announcer voice. I worked in call centers. People thought I was a robot when I pick up the phone at the Apple Care call center back in the day. So I was like, at least this is my advantage. I will start to stream, and I will do commentary, because I suck at games, and I'll just make it funny. And it didn't really go anywhere. I didn't really try to make it go anywhere, but I did. I did happen upon clips of that the other day, and it was even just early transition before my voice was kind of a comfy spot where it is right now. It was still evolving, and I just Oh, nails on a chalkboard, feeling, you know, that

Vanessa: 14:55

doesn't fringe is powerful. The fuck is that? Yeah,

River: 15:00

and like, same thing with with seeing um photos of myself, especially ones that were um older than my, my eight crack day like, I've seen my eight crack day one. You know, it's the one we usually share with people where it's like, yeah, this is me before and after. And, you know, I had a scraggly. Beer he had my hair was like, you'd be like, down to here, but it was, it was salt and pepper a little bit, because I would just started going gray from the trauma I've been through in my life. My sister had the same thing happen to her, and I was like, dark brown with some some salt and pepper in there, and just the saddest motherfucker you've ever seen in your life. But when you look back further, when I was really trying, like, leaning into being masculine, I was a Dorito chip, like I was, like, I worked out a lot, and that was in response to, like, I said some some trauma stuff, but also really trying to fit that mask on of literally, mask masks, yeah, and it just didn't feel right. I was like, Who is this Captain America wannabe? And here I am trying to go the other direction. And, like, I skipped leg day constantly, so I was a Dorito chip. Now I'm trying to even it back out again. So now I'm, now I'm in my home gym three times a week try and try and do leg day, butt day. It's fun to keep up with it's really hard. Yeah, and, and what they don't tell you is that when you're you're letting your muscles atrophy. They don't tell you that when they atrophy, muscles just turn to fat, right? That's what happens to muscle. And so it's difficult to start to see the changes, because you're like, Oh, well, the mass is still there. Oh, I see what's happening. Then you have to start to think about like, if I do I want to tone my body. Do I want to, like, do anything? It's very delicate dance. Of like, if you're trying to control the way that your body moves and behaves and and looks while you're transitioning from one extreme to the other, or even if you're not medically transitioning, you're just focusing on, like, trying to change how your body looks that way it's it takes a lot of a lot of balance in terms of cardio and weightlifting and all that stuff. But long story, very long story. Short it, it is weird to see completely different proportions of a person from the past trying to fit into a very narrow minded version of what I was told masculine masculinity was,

Vanessa: 18:01

yeah, we, we definitely, like it was our, most of our lives, so performative and exhausting now that I, at least, when I look back at it and like I a lot of trans girls had beards, because That was kind of, kind of the classic mask, like, well, you know, I can come off as a boy if I have this glorious beard. And I had a glorious beard, but I also had a habit of ripping the hairs out. So maybe that was, like, early. There's so many early signs. There really are. But I, uh, yeah, I one common thing, like with earlier in transition, is timeline videos and stuff like that. And there seems to be a point, I don't know where it is, I would say around the two year mark, where maybe it's as our puberty, our second puberty, starts fading away, where the appeal of that stuff starts, for me, at least, starts going away. If you had that as well,

River: 19:09

I have. I definitely was tracking on Instagram, my progression through transition, like monthly for the first couple of years. I don't know if it's necessarily for me, the second puberty kind of extreme of emotions, or whatever that means for each or different person, kind of falling away, because I definitely feel like I'm still going through the motions. Let me tell you, I still feel like I'm a 19 year old and I'm still going through it. Um, because estrogen powered puberty last somewhere between five to 10 years. Potentially, it's powerful. Average of seven. Yeah, it's pretty powerful. So like, if you think a 19 year old girl zone puberty, you were wrong. But I think it came more from me wanting to let the memory of that person that I thought I was die and really embrace who I am now, and kind of let that fall away and and not. Focus as much on the past and focus more on on living in the moment, focusing more on what's going on right now, how I'm feeling right now, honoring who I am and who I'm becoming, all those things. Now

Vanessa: 20:34

that you put that into words, my brain's like, oh shit. Oh yeah. That makes sense. But you know, that is what I'm doing. So I thought about this a lot. Don't worry, yeah, yeah, words of wisdom from Riv there, because it is. It's like the whole transitioning thing is less new now, and we are just going through the daily emotions of our lives. And I think a lot of times in my case, I think about my transness more than anybody else does. Most of my clients say that when they met me, they didn't know I was trans until I told them. And I just automatically think everybody clocks me because I can clock a trans person. Well, trans woman a mile away, trans guys are harder but and so I just think everyone's like that. But I also realize it's just kind of how I've been trained, and kind of a self preservation thing as well. But I have started like, I wouldn't full mind just moving away from trans identity and just embracing lesbianism at this point. So like, My car has a sticker on the back, has two two scissors going like this, with a lesbian flag. And a couple girls pulled up behind me in a stoplight yesterday, and like one of them looked, she's like, and then she poked her partner, and they both looked, and I waved, and they waved back, and they were driving a Subaru, so you knew they were part of the club, but it's, I don't know if I'm also doing that more For kind of just survival in a red area. Riv you're lucky enough to live in. I don't think there's such thing as a good place for trans people to live, but there's better, you know, yeah. So, yeah, this was my brain ran out of things to discuss on this, because,

River: 22:44

see, I'm not an interrupter, and I feel like I probably normally with CO hosts, we interrupt each other, like, and I fizzle out. And I should have probably come in to like, build on what you're saying.

Vanessa: 22:55

I let Marcia do that. I

River: 22:56

usually don't do that. I usually I like to facilitate, let people talk amongst themselves. Yeah, I think there's something to embracing different parts of our identities as we focus a lot on the trans part for a lot of our a lot of our transition already. And you know, you hit it fast and hard when you're especially when you're you're medically transitioning, whatever that means for you, and it's all you think about for for a while. And there's reason why people are saying, like, are you making your whole identity? It's like you don't understand. I've been a little, had a little Dilbert moment there with my my choker. You don't understand. I've been, I've been in, like, having the wrong representation of myself this entire time, and now that I'm I'll cut loose, and I figured out who I am, like, it's all I'm going to talk about. And when that starts to kind of fade, I you know, you realize, oh, what other parts of the community really sit well with me? And I think there is a really it's really nuanced to think about, how do we start to back out of that really saturated talk of like, in the trans community, saying, like, I'm identifying more as a lesbian now, it's like, cool, you're still trans, and you're still part of that community, even if you're, even if you're like, you're kind of stepping, stepping back from that. So I know, I know some folks who have started to started to say, like, I don't really think myself as trans anymore. I just think myself as woman and a lesbian. I'm like, Cool, okay. It's not a bad thing to be trans, like not and I know that probably where you're living and and the the way that society is going, and the way that all of the you know shit around the election has kind of been positioning trans people as, Oh, bad, and that probably is leading to people wanting to distance themselves from their own identities, but it's one thing to expand your identity and and embrace different parts of that, whether it's lesbian, ace, bisexual, etc, for me, not accepting more like I'm non binary. As well as a trans woman, but it's another thing to say, like, Well, I'm not actually trans because now I've got a vagina, now I've got this and I've got that. I'm actually just, I'm good. I'm not actually trans. I'm just, I'm just this. That's a dangerous mindset. That's a very dangerous mindset to kind of get into, because that a little bit means that you're also drinking that Kool Aid. You got to be careful. And it's, it's easy to drink the Kool Aid, it's hard to not drink the Kool Aid, difficult, but it's, it's more powerful and more brave to not drink that Kool Aid.

Vanessa: 25:55

I I still go every day like I try to educate people too, like people that know that I'm trans, or if I bring it up, I don't bring it up in day to day conversation anymore, like I used to. But again, kind of time's gone on, kind of matured a little bit there. But it's, I think, part of reason the Conservatives are jumping so much on the othering us is because so many people don't have any idea what it means to be trans. And the number one thing I always tell people is it is not a choice. We are just flat out born this way. It's no different from having blue eyes, brown eyes, green eyes, whatever. And it's just, it's just who we are, and the only choice in the matter is whether or not to come out, which is sad and of itself, but it's, you know, there's, I constantly reiterate, the people that there's no reason to be afraid of us. All that we want to do is just live our lives just like everybody, everybody else. And this is just one part of us. We're all very, very different people. Our commonality in the trans community is being trans or NB or anything under the umbrella. So have you had any like, do you work on educating as well? Or do you not have to do that as much?

River: 27:27

Thankfully, the I did a little bit of educating early into transition, especially at work. Oh, it's gonna thunderstorm again. Apparently, Stoner here, yeah, that's wild. It's getting dark outside. My wonderful lighting starting to fade. So at work, I am a manager of a IT Help Desk team, and being that I being working in IT help desk in my particular company, means you are very much a person that is well known across the company. And we have like 64 retail stores that we support internally, and so they all know you, and when that happens, you really have to make that decision of, well, do I pretend that the old me is gone, or do I actually make my transition public? And I made mine public so people who are still at the company that have been around since that blog post from four years ago. They, a lot of them that I directly work with have had to have some education, educating moments, some teaching moments. And thankfully, those who've met me in my and current, current years really haven't needed that. They just kind of, oh yeah, she's, it's her, she's, she's, she's oral. Look at her. She's listened to her. She's a girl. It's not hard, and there hasn't really been a big need for it. But thankfully, where I am, it's really so people are really supportive of trans people, at least within the company I work for and the state I live in, and specifically the city I live in, is a they, we have a we have a trans crosswalk. Downtown, a trans flag crosswalk. We have a full like original gay pride flag crosswalk on the other side of that, of that block, really, you know when Pride Week hits, it's mostly trans flags that are up because it was kind of founded, and it's a really big trans area, so I lucked out to where I moved to. I didn't know that moving here. Didn't know I was trans when I moved here, so,

Vanessa: 30:11

but there's signs out there. You know,

River: 30:14

there, there were signs there. Yeah, there were definitely signs literal. Have flags, but yeah, so not as much education anymore. Outside of the podcast arena, more of if my coworkers and friends says something untoward, I'm like, let me just quickly educate you on why saying biological woman is a is a dog whistle. He's like, Oh, shit. I didn't think about that. I was like, Yeah, dude, they're in your brain. These, these Terps. They're fucking crafty. They are. And he's like, Oh, he gets so mad. And like, I know because, because we're, we're besties. And, you know, he just wants to support me.

Vanessa: 30:59

I love having that like there's a local, local realtor that I've been he's very he's been very curious on how to actually be an actual ally, rather than a performative ally, because he knows of a problem I have with another local realtor that I was standing next to her, and the seller taking pictures early in transition, like I stood out in the fucking crowd then. And the seller was talking about playing a game called smear the queers

Unknown: 31:36

and like me right there. And

Vanessa: 31:41

this agent who calls herself an ally to the community and everything was just going along with conversation. And I mean, a true ally has your back even when you're not in the room. You're definitely not an ally if you don't have someone's back when they're standing right fucking next to so I was telling him about that case, and so he has been actively educating himself and ask questions here and there. Like, on, how should I approach this? He also, like, looks things up himself, too, but I told him, he's welcome to ask Me for guidance, and he's been correcting people on things and like and not in a mean way, like gentle ways, because almost all misconceptions of any group are just baked into us, like racism is fucking baked into us. Again, you have to actively unlearn it So, and that's what he'd been what he's been doing. And I said, that that is the sign of a actual ally, not a performative ally. And one thing I explained to him early on is the title ally is not a title that you give yourself. It is a title that whatever community you want to be an ally to gives to you, and it can be taken away. So, so it's I like being able to educate people whenever I can. And I would say most people are educatable. There are those out there the if someone's flying a trim flag on their truck and I bother but there's a lot of that here. Don't

River: 33:22

you worry,

Vanessa: 33:23

you don't have that here. No, we

River: 33:26

definitely have that here. Yeah, I live in the country ish area. Trump flags abounds.

Vanessa: 33:35

Oh, I heard that one Diane, to quote

River: 33:39

ash, my partner, who is texting right now all caps, floor blesses us on the stairs.

Vanessa: 33:48

Ash, Ash, I love your words. I love your words. I am an absolute weather nerd. One of my partners, Jenny, and I like we want to start our own tornado chasing thing. I I forget what we're gonna call it, but like we both love tornadoes. She lives in Oklahoma, so she gets more than I do. Being in Ohio, I still get quite a few.

River: 34:11

I've got a pitch for you what you could call it, yes, titty twisters. Yeah, hire me for for all of your all of your logo needs, all of your catchphrase needs, I got you covered like a bunny.

Vanessa: 34:33

That is amazing. Just popped in there. I think what I came up with was like derecho dykes or something like that with titty twisters, it's so much better. Oh, I can't wait to tell her that. Oh, but yeah. So whenever I hear like thunder and stuff like that, it gets me wet. Trans girls don't really get wet that much, but it still gets me wet and riffs like, oh, speak for yourself, bitch. So nothing. Eyebrows, fatal. Only thing I don't like about thunderstorms is they freak my dog the fuck out so but, like, I've always been the girl that whenever a big storm comes in, I just stand there and like, watch it come. And tornado chasing just excites me. Yeah. Anyways, I brought that up because I have a an app on my phone called radar omega, and it's awesome and like, it tells you, like, where all the tornado warnings are in the country, like they're currently four, and they are all in Canada currently. So, yeah, you don't have a tornado warning, but I just love weather nerding. That's good. Yeah. Anyways, I don't know where I was going with that, so

River: 36:02

now I'm just watching the rain through my wonderful, huge windows on three sides of me.

Vanessa: 36:11

So relaxing. It's really relaxing. Yeah, the pitter patter. It was pouring here earlier, like, I took my dog for a walk, and then we got home, and like, five minutes later, this guy opened up, and, like, up. I'm like, Gabby, I'm glad we went when we were dead. So, like, yeah, a walk with me is, like, to the end of the street and back, because I smoke, and walking starts.

River: 36:35

Oh, we had, it was a, it was like, raining sideways last night, and it was probably the biggest thunderstorm we've ever had in I've ever had seen myself in the piece in the Pacific Northwest. And my our dog does not care at all about fireworks or thunder, thankfully, like our previous dog was like, chewed up heart attack. Basically, current dog does. Could not give a fuck about like, what was happening. Okay, I'm going back to bed. I'm very thankful. However, one of our four cats, yes, we have four cats living the lesbian dream.

Vanessa: 37:14

I mean, you're lesbians.

River: 37:16

I you know my partner's non binary. We still identify as lesbians. It's great. And our cat, Bjorn, is part Bengal, and he is very ferocious boy. He's also a very sweet boy, and he was the only cat that got scared enough to run and hide under our bed last night, and even our little our little dipshit cat who looks like a chibi character, who is part Munchkin, and there's nothing going on that brain of his, he wasn't scared at all, like he was just Chilling. Yeah, he'd be the first one to run. But no, he didn't care. So he's

Unknown: 38:03

like, this is my wife.

River: 38:06

You never maybe, like,

Vanessa: 38:08

I've been watching the weather more, and you're getting a lot more big weather in that area than in years past. And like, tornado alley over here used to be mainly like Oklahoma, in Kansas and stuff like that. And it is shifted, shifted east to where Ohio gets a lot of them. And then there's a new one called Dixie alley. So climate change girls, it's a thing, yeah, so

River: 38:38

don't vote for you can change your gender. You can change your climate Exactly,

Vanessa: 38:43

exactly. Oh, so anything else that you want to talk trans on our random trans episode,

River: 38:52

random trans Thank you for having me. By the way, I am really excited for those of you who also might watch and or listen to transpodding. Sorry, it's been a while since we've had an episode. Life's been moving pretty hard and fast, and scheduling was really hard for the three of us. So we're working on stuff is going to happen. I'm hoping maybe to be here with you, Vanessa, a little bit more.

Vanessa: 39:26

You're welcome always,

River: 39:28

Vanessa, you're welcome to come and co host transpotting with me as well.

Vanessa: 39:33

I'd like that. Actually, that would be fun. Yeah, Ash is going to be

River: 39:36

on in the near future. Yeah, yeah. I've got some some folks from our Discord community, which is getting pretty big now. We're like 280 people our Discord. I know I'm poking some people that I think would be great co host to, kind of like guest guest co host. I'm learning from you, girl, this whole guest co host thing that you do, I love. It keeps it, keeps from getting stale, right? Yeah. And so I've got some ideas popping in there, but it's taken some time to do. And I'm a busy girl. I'm doing a lot of stuff in my life, and, yeah, it's hard to keep up. Anyways, that one's That one's for anyone who's like the cross listeners across the street. So transpotting and transcending humanity, transponding humanity will make it happen,

Vanessa: 40:25

yeah? Spotting humanity. Yeah, no, like, that's something. Glad you brought that up because, like, it's the same with my co set co host I've had on this show too. Scheduling is so fucking hard,

River: 40:38

like, from different time zones, yeah.

Vanessa: 40:42

And like Celeste, she's all the way on the East Coast, isn't she? She's on the East Coast. Yeah, yeah. So that's hard when you and Marcia are so far west. And for me, like Taryn is San Francisco and Erica is in DC. And Jess is North Carolina. I believe. Sorry, Jess, if you're listening, I'm pretty sure that's my brain doesn't work, but so I'm just like, You know what? I'm just going to take over this show myself. And if any of the past CO hosts want to pop on, they're welcome anytime. So, and sounds kind of like that might be kind of where you're going. It makes running things a lot easier, especially since I brought the show back to weekly, and because trying to schedule weekly is hard, it's very hard.

River: 41:33

Is really impressive. It's I'm struggling with monthly right now, and I'm way beyond that has been what I

Vanessa: 41:41

wanted to do weekly, because my listenership had fallen off, fallen off so much, and so now, yeah, I'm focusing on the guests and guest hosts and what have you. And I think it's I'm hoping it's working, but it's fun having I'm because I have no real direction for the show. So that's kind of the point of the show. So show has no direction. The show is what it is,

River: 42:06

Seinfeld of you.

Vanessa: 42:07

I know, right. Sorry. I

River: 42:08

would never, never insult you with the signs, invoke Seinfeld on you.

Vanessa: 42:15

Just let me go get a fucking Porsche and, you know, but trans

River: 42:22

in cars with coffee,

Vanessa: 42:25

we should do that actually, you know? Yeah, that would be fun.

River: 42:30

Zero Porsches involved.

Vanessa: 42:32

I don't know trans girl who drives a Porsche, honestly, yeah. I mean, a lot of us probably drive Subarus. Know anything of it. And here's me and my little just

River: 42:43

got my my Buick working again, my 2005 Buick I was dead in the driveway because I lost ignition key for two years ago. I just got it working again. Finally. Yeah, you like now I'm a car. I never I never knew how to do anything with cars when I was identifying as a dude, but yeah, now I now I know more than I would like to about how to replace batteries and all that, all that good stuff. So I had to the battery, like, hold down bolt. Thing was rusted. I had a hacksaw to it, little mini hacksaw, and just like, cut the head of the bolt off to get the old battery out, and then, yeah, yeah, yeah, just surgery. Just dropped, yeah, you know, it's just me with a hacksaw door.

Vanessa: 43:34

I mean, that's how, that's what a lot of car car maintenance is, like, yeah, when, like, I hate working on cars, I get mad, like, really mad, and so I don't let myself do it anymore. But there's been a time where actually pulled an entire engine on a car. There's also been times where I fucking started beating a car with a hammer because I was so mad at it. So yeah, I don't do my own card work anymore, but

River: 44:02

I just get stubborn. Like, you know, like, it's the same thing with with tech issues. I takes a lot to make me give up. I get really fucking stubborn. Yes, I'm gonna find a way to fix this, or I'm gonna go to bed and dream only of this and then wake up and do it all over.

Vanessa: 44:20

I mean, is it? Is it our autism that's spiking that too, you know,

River: 44:25

I probably, but because I'm the same, right? It started with, started for an it for me, I'm like, I'm gonna figure this out, and if I don't figure this out, I'm gonna be so angry.

Vanessa: 44:37

And then people are like, You need to just let it go. You take a break. And I'm not taking a fucking break in and you

River: 44:45

know what? I always figure it out

Vanessa: 44:47

exactly. Always see persistence. Persistence is key. Anyone do Cards Against Humanity? What's that? Do you want to do Cards Against Humanity? Do we do that here? That's my new thing.

River: 45:04

That's your new thing. Sure, yeah, let's do it. That's

Vanessa: 45:06

how I've been closing that up. So I'm probably not going to do it with the two Ohio State House reps, especially since they're running for re election right now. But

River: 45:17

I mean, it might boost their numbers. It might.

Vanessa: 45:20

I But so, I mean, it doesn't have to be perverted. So what what we do? It's just the black cards. Mine usually are perverted because it's me, but I've had some very good answers to the things from other people. So all this is, is I have the black cards, and then you just come up with a white card against or yourself, or whatever. That kind of floats your boat. You know, makeup, you have to make it up. I'm going to make you get creative. Okay,

River: 45:52

you know you're you're in luck, because I'm good at this.

Vanessa: 45:54

I know, right. So where do you want your card to be sold from?

River: 46:02

I uh, somewhere in the middle, somewhere

Vanessa: 46:04

in the middle. Okay, how about this card? Let's do it. Okay, so this is your card. Look it's so Cardy and I can take one I know I am going to show it to you. Like to memorize your card over the back of the deck? Do you want to go first? So you want to go first? So you want me

River: 46:22

to go first? I'm gonna, you know, make you go first. Okay, fine. I don't want that pressure on me. No,

Vanessa: 46:30

I I almost went there and I didn't. Okay. So says, Hey guys, I know this was my idea, but I'm having serious doubts about this. One popped up in another episode recently.

River: 46:51

Oh, damn this. And then I have to make up the response to that.

Vanessa: 46:55

It's like Mad Libs.

River: 46:59

That's not that much of a setup, though. Oh, damn.

Vanessa: 47:02

Do another one.

River: 47:03

Let's do another one. I feel like that's that could be very vanilla. Yeah, I don't want, I don't want a vanilla answer. That

Vanessa: 47:10

one was already on the show, um, last week, actually, I think that was okay. What close out

River: 47:14

of here?

Vanessa: 47:15

What do you do in Redis and cards? Here's a better one. MTV is new reality show features eight washed up celebrities living with, living with, you're

River: 47:33

going to edit this, right? So that my answer is immediately after, so it looks like I'm really smart.

Vanessa: 47:38

I don't edit the show. I chop off like girl. I do the show fucking weekly. Do you think I have time to edit?

River: 47:47

I don't. I don't do video edits for our show either. Oh, my God, living eight washed up celebrities. It's

Vanessa: 47:58

like that one show that Caitlyn Jenner in it, oh God, speaking of watchdog,

Unknown: 48:09

do another thing living

River: 48:11

with. Here's the thing is, it mod is, is the grammar talking about they are living with something as though, let's workshop this? Are they living with something that they all have to deal with? Or as in, like it is a an idea or like an issue, or is it another person or like object or something that's more material? The answer to your question, dark and say cancer, or it could go and say Vanilla Ice. The answer

Vanessa: 48:46

to your question, river is yes,

River: 48:50

yes, ANDing me, washed up celebrities living with

Vanessa: 49:04

Tom Jones. Tom Jones,

River: 49:08

let's go with Tom Jones.

Vanessa: 49:09

I was gonna say explosive diarrhea. I mean Tom Jones and his explosive diarrhea, and it's close to diarrhea. Yeah, I forget whom Tom Jones is, isn't it? Wasn't it? Like a singer, like as a singer, he had the Vegas show and everything. Yeah, I just ruined the joke. Sorry.

River: 49:33

Hey, you know we can do it again. Could try another one?

Vanessa: 49:37

Sure. I'll pull another one for you.

River: 49:40

I'm not as good at this. I

Vanessa: 49:41

thought, wasn't I supposed to go first, and I made you go first, didn't I?

River: 49:45

Well, you didn't see, here's where the neurodiversity comes in. You didn't specify if you were going first, then you were drawing the card first, and then having me react.

Vanessa: 49:55

I know. Okay, I know that, because this card over here was one I picked out for you, and then this one was mine, and I think we talked about So, okay, you might like this one. Call that

River: 50:11

ADHD folks, yeah.

Vanessa: 50:14

What would grandma find disturbing, but you find oddly? Charming.

River: 50:21

Oh grandma, find disturbing Yet oddly charming,

Vanessa: 50:25

oh yeah Yet oddly charming. You.

River: 50:47

A vibrator shaped by Tom Jones,

Vanessa: 50:50

fuck yeah. That is the perfect answer. That is the absolute only

River: 50:54

answer after the first after the first joke.

Vanessa: 51:00

That's the perfect answer. That's the perfect answer. Charming.

River: 51:03

Oh, why is he buzzing so much? I sound like Harley Quinn. They're not a grandma. Sorry about that.

Vanessa: 51:10

I'm well there. I think in Batman there was actually like a grandma aged Harley Quinn in it.

River: 51:18

So I didn't watch that far. I love that show.

Vanessa: 51:21

I didn't really watch that far either, but I was watching a recap on like, it's like Batman Beyond in 48 minutes on YouTube, which, you know, good content to absorb while I met. Any photos, all right? So mine is, oh, there's a sultry voice. See, sometimes this comes out, and I like that. How am I maintaining I know, right, so good. How am I maintaining my relationship status? There, I'll pump it up a little bit. And for me, I maintain my relationship status by sending copious amounts of pictures of my pussy to my girlfriends. And whenever they're having a bad day, I send them those, and it seems to perk them right back up. And sometimes I get them in return too. So yeah, pretty much every one of my answers has like, if they've been titties, I think last week it was trans girl Jizz. You know, it's always something to just switch things up. But your your face is like, What the fuck did I get into here? Oh, one

River: 52:34

track mind, and that track is the fucking gutter, which is funny to know less from you. It's

Vanessa: 52:40

funny too, because I'm gray sexual, like, I really don't think about sex all that much. But something, you know, some Cards Against Humanity just, it just brings it out of me. I suppose I think I need to get

River: 52:52

performing too. This is technically performing, so I guess break it out and, yeah, we're

Vanessa: 52:57

trying to entertain people. I think it's time for me to get some more cards against humanity, though, because this is, like, the original fucking Cards Against Humanity. It needs something that's a little bit more up to date, because this game's probably been around for at least 20 years now, I

River: 53:09

would say, Oh, don't say that.

Vanessa: 53:12

I know, right? I mean, don't worry, I'm older than you. Like, I should have had my 25th high school reunion this summer, but my class were just following whatever, and you're old with me. How

River: 53:26

old are you?

Vanessa: 53:27

I'm 43 I'm 37 so I'm older than you.

River: 53:32

Yeah, you look great, hon. Well, thank

Vanessa: 53:36

you so to you fucking estrogen. Estrogen is amazing. I swear it takes off at least five years. And I love quizzing people. Do you ever ask people how old they think you are? It's fun, because you just blow their minds.

River: 53:50

I don't actively but I've had those instances with people that I that when I first meet them, like at work, if they're a new person, they're like, what do you what do you mean? You're 10 years older than this other person? I'm like, Yeah, I'm 37 they're just like, Ah, you're really 25 and I'm like, I I'm like, first of all, women don't inspire after 32nd of all, thank you. But yeah, I feel like it's it the first five years comes off from the estrogen the next five years comes off from being happy all the damn time that

Vanessa: 54:23

too, that really does have a lot to do with it. Like, yeah, that's something I've been talking about. I actually

River: 54:29

care about my skin care routine. Do one now I didn't do one before. Actually wash my face with what

Vanessa: 54:37

I know, right? And once you start getting everything like I've been telling my therapist that now that I got my hormones back in line and I'm on ADHD meds, I'm no longer on the bipolar meds killing me because I wasn't bipolar, and so for like, the first time in my Life I haven't had crippling depression constantly, and it is fucking weird, like, I don't know how to handle it, like, it's not that it's a bad thing, but it's just like, I'm not constantly sitting here wanting to kill myself, and that's kind of mind blowing, and that does take age off you as well. So just being able to just, it's. Live your life and not be miserable all the time. So, yeah, transitioning, it's quite the drug. You know, estrogen is magic for us. Testosterone is magic for the trans boys. I don't miss testosterone folks,

River: 55:34

you know. And for some folks, that's not necessary, and it just means identifying and understanding who you are, and that is more than valid hashtag. Fuck transmeds. Thank you.

Vanessa: 55:47

Yes, exactly. You do not have to be on any medicine to be trans. I think I've said that before in the show, yeah, I just like to reinforce it. No, it is good to reinforce, because society kind of pushes against that. And gender identity is gender identity. And there's it's such a spectrum anyways. And I think for some of us, the dysphoria might push us towards going to the medical route more than others, and but again, it's an individual journey. It's the way that I liked doing it. But you know, everything is valid, so that the number one thing to keep in mind is don't be a dick and don't

Unknown: 56:35

be a Republican.

Vanessa: 56:40

They go hand in hand.

River: 56:41

Oxymoron,

Vanessa: 56:43

I know. Yeah, truly. So do you have any closing thoughts?

River: 56:50

Closing thought number one, fiscally conservative is still conservative. Stop lying to yourself and stop being a dick voting for voting for a third party may help with your moral compass, but does not help people that are in danger of losing their rights. So get at the fuck it together and vote for Kamala. Thanks. Exactly.

Vanessa: 57:16

I see those posts all the time. It's like she's well, her stands out in Israel. Like, I am also against what Israel is doing in Gaza. I've talked about this on former episodes. Yeah, 100% I'm also against what Hamas did to Israel. Like, I don't condone the violence, I don't condone the terrorist attacks, but I also don't condone the response to it and punishing innocence. So but your alternative in this election is Trump. It's not going to be RFK, it's not going to be Jill. What's her face? It's going to be Trump. It's Trump or Kamala. And one, yeah, you might not necessarily agree with everything, and then that's the case. Maybe run yourself. Start running for office yourself. Start making a difference from the bottom up, because the most important parts of the ticket really do start at the bottom. Work the work their way up.

River: 58:13

Having a two party system is very shitty. It really is. Having a binary in gender, is it is should not exist. It is. It is not the reality in any way, shape or form, however, it is currently what we are dealing with, and it has a tail as old as time. We cannot demolish that until we actually are no longer having to fight to exist and fight for our right to to bodily autonomy. So focus on First things first, which is, let's get people safe. Then we can start to focus on, how do we work through totally disassembling a two party system that was created by systems of oppression years and years ago. How do we demolish that? How do we start to make something better? We can't do that. Trust me. I want to fucking do that. Me too. I want to do that. We can't do that until we make sure that people are safe here. And when we can do that, guess what? They're going to thrive. We're going to have a lot more people who are actually more progressive because they understand that they get to have the right to do and they won't be forced to detransition. They won't be forced to make tough decisions about about birthing all that good stuff and keep people safe first.

Vanessa: 59:34

They will be enforced to do the work concentration camps, which is things out here that we have, yeah, people that are kind of interested in what Riv said there. Do you like Jon Stewart? Yes, me too. So he has a weekly show podcast, since he got booted off of Apple for actually, you know, giving a shit about people, so he went back to the daily show once a week. And he also does a podcast called the weekly show, and he had some guests on there, I would say, a month, maybe two months back, and they talked about what, what things would look like with more parties. There's kind of like a sweet spot you don't want too many, like in the UK, there's quite a few you want. Like. Four or five, and that's what they talk about with this, and it would also expand the House and the Senate with more seats in order to accommodate that. It's a very interesting listen, and it's something that I think could possibly happen once the fucking boomers die out, at least. But it's up to our generation to do that like one of the upcoming episode is going to have couple Gen Z years, and we're going to be talking about it's kind of a follow up to the episode I did a year ago with land. And read how the rest of the country needs to stop counting on Gen Z to save us, and we need to just fucking step up and do it ourselves, especially our generation millennials. There's a fucking lot of us so, and we are the next boomers, whether we like it or not, and lend even called that out, and I agree with them. We are the next boomers. Gen Z's the Next Gen X, really? So, and then Gen Alpha. I can't wait for them to come of age. It's gonna be a lot of fun. Okay, we're at an hour. I guess we should stop. Riv anything else you want to

River: 1:01:30

plug? I already plugged my stuff. I think the beginning site. I think I'm good. Come on down to the trans potting discord. Yes, if you go to patreon.com/trans spotting, which is going to have 2s in it, by the way, you will be able to not only watch our content. Free subscribers, you can have access to everything we already have already done. Paid subscribers get early access to new episodes. I'm sorry we're still working on making more and additionally, you joined, and we've got a little post that has a link to our public Discord server that is just hopping right now, and got a lot of wonderful folks in that community who are taking care of each other and connecting and making it happen. So,

Vanessa: 1:02:29

yeah, I actually asked something maybe about combining HP and TSS discords by discord, I don't know how to fucking run a discord. Yours is fucking gorgeous. It has all the bots, it has all the things.

River: 1:02:44

So here is my here's my secret. Is Samara. Samara is our wonderful mod, and she knows all the things. I am like a boomer when it comes to discord. I'm like, what does this button do? Oh, that didn't that was not a good thing to press. Samara is awesome, and she set up our our Discord with all the bots, all the channels, all the things, and we do our best to honor requests to flesh things out more. So yeah,

Vanessa: 1:03:13

if anyone's on Discord and you're like having fun, definitely join the train. Spotting discord, it is a lot of fun, so I need to use it more. I like never use discord anymore. I have everything fucking silenced because I hate notifications. Anyways, I be hammered on. So I forgot to introduce myself to be in the show. I'm Vanessa, aka venustradale, and I'm the chick who's been posting some partially nude photos lately. So yeah, go increase my engagement rate, please. And yeah, we'll see you next week. I have honestly no idea when this episode's gonna air or what's gonna come after it, but riv, thank you so much for joining me. Please come back anytime you want. And yeah, we'll see well, yeah, I'm just gonna hit the stop recording button because I just keep hammering.

Unknown: 1:04:02

Okay, okay, bye. Bye.