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The Human Story
The Human Story podcast is brought to you by Yoked media hosted by Lincoln & Shaamiela. We love being human and we find the messiness of the Human Story fascinating. Come and join us for an unfiltered exploration of raw and deeply personal conversations. Through authentic storytelling, we dive into the complexities of life, our struggles, victories, and the profound moments that shape us. The series is about connection, resilience, and transformation, reminding us that while life may not be perfect, it can be beautiful. The Human Story is our invitation to listen deeply, reflect honestly, and recognise yourself in the shared experiences of others. These stories remind us that growth is possible, connection is powerful, and every journey no matter how imperfect is worth telling.
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The Human Story
Reflections- The Human Story Journey
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As the year comes to a close, we pause to reflect.
In this final episode of The Human Story for the year, brought to you by Yoked Media, Lincoln & Shaamiela look back on the journeys that shaped us, relationships and boundaries, courage, growth, and the quiet work that happens beneath the surface. This is a gentle, honest conversation about what this year revealed, what we’re carrying forward, and why reflection matters.
Rather than offering answers or fixes, this episode invites you to slow down, notice, and honour your own journey exactly as it is.
Whether you’re feeling tired, hopeful, uncertain, or quietly proud of how far you’ve come, this episode is an invitation to come home to yourself before stepping forward again.
Thank you for walking this year with us. We’ll see you on the journey ahead.💛
You're listening to the Human Story Podcast, conversations on the all-encompassing human experience.
SPEAKER_02:This is brought to you by Yoke Media.
SPEAKER_03:Well, welcome to the Human Story, another edition, uh, the final edition for 2025. It's been an interesting year. It's been the launch of a a podcast series that's meant a lot for Shamel and I to launch, and she'll speak on behalf of herself. But it's really been really great. Sharmi, on that note, how are you doing? I'm doing good.
SPEAKER_01:I'm I'm well. I'm actually really well. It's December.
SPEAKER_03:December.
SPEAKER_01:It is December. If you're South African, you know that that's that's a whole different meaning for us. Yes, but it's yeah, I'm actually well. I was saying to you just before we started that for the first time I don't feel burnt out. I'm tired. Thank you.
SPEAKER_03:You look like you have a lot of vitality and energy this time of the year.
SPEAKER_01:I do. I mean that's as a result of other things, but too. But it but yeah, I'm I'm good. How are you?
SPEAKER_03:Good. It's been good. We've obviously coming through to towards the end of the year, most businesses close. So it's been a busy season. Maftal show me, I'm starting to feel the effects thereof, but I'm in a good mental space though.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I feel like we I think it's I think we both share that. That's so interesting. Yeah, and I'm thinking about you know, the last two years that we've we've done podcast recordings, we did definitely did one at the end of 2023. Yeah, definitely did one at the end of 2024. Yeah, but it's so different this year, and this is the year that we launched, you know, and shared this with the world. So that's quite a marked difference.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I just want to basically say on that, it's amazing how once you get used to a certain routine and a little bit of familiarity and sort of confidence in doing this whole process, how you show up differently, and that's been really great for me. So, you know, I I think it's all about steady growth, uh, if we look at it in that way. And you know, Sean and I spoke a bit about this before Gain on Air, but I just tell you, you know, in terms of you know, this whole Spotify rap than what's been your most listen to songs. If I look at our podcast series, um, just as a kind of a bit of a background, the episode on rest far surpassed any other episode download by more than 100%. Now we've spoken about this before, so please go listen to the episode if you haven't, because it gets like multiple streams every day, but that's great. It's so interesting, Sami. If I go listen to that episode now, it's probably more relevant than ever. Wow, rest. What do we speak about? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:It's interesting because I'm just realizing that I mean, we launched in July, 17th of July, we launched. And so there's obviously been different seasons in different parts of the world, and yeah, and something to share is that it's reached many different parts of the world. And like you say, it's relevant, it's become relevant because there's been season change, but also I think just because of what 2025 has represented, you know, there's a need to, I don't know, maybe change our thinking around what rest is, what it could look like for us.
SPEAKER_03:I agree. And I mean, if you listen to the episode, you know, there's many forms of rest. And it's interesting that at different seasons of your life and also throughout this year, different rests will be more relevant than what it might be right now. Yes. And that's been amazing for me to see as well, because certainly this part of the year, I literally just need to switch off from everything and just literally go and take some time out away from any intellectual kind of doings. Um, and I feel like that's just what I need to be out in nature of it. I know, Sami, you're very much an advocate for that. Yep. And definitely I can resonate with that completely this time of the year. And just having some time with family, you know, just to for that restoration.
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely. So if you haven't guessed it, you know, the theme today, it's not a topic, but it's a theme, I think, more that runs through is reflection. Yeah. So it's an opportunity for you to lean in and to just maybe begin. If you haven't already, I think for some people it's always part of their lives, their daily lives. Mine is a moment to moment, is reflecting and noticing and trying to pause as much as I can. But yeah, reflecting. And reflection, you know, serves so many different purposes. But it really is helpful to just come back to yourself, you know, just to come back to this vessel, this body, this mind, this heart, this soul, and to just yeah, gently, I think, take a walk through, you know, what has been the experiences you've had this year.
SPEAKER_03:I love that. You know, it's been so interesting if I just sit from this side and reflect back on you as we've done the series. I'm grateful that I could do this series with you because I've learned so much from you, besides just our friendship and the stories you've shared and some of your, you know, your professional capacity, but also just the person that you are and the reflections. That's been really wonderful, Shawmi. But also, I must say that I've learned so much from the two guests we've had on board. You know, I never quite understood breathwork. And just the, you know, on a very small scale, how much that can actually impact someone and really help you through your daily life. But also, the episode that had significant impact to me was on with Kalnesia Sing, the that episode. And that's been a game changer for me. I've realized so much how our systems that are currently existing in the world exclude people. And and it's gonna really mean a shift from the leaders and thought leaders out there to change the systems in the future. I almost feel in a lot of ways we're not prepared for where we're in at the moment and where we're headed. Yeah. And and I'll just give a practical example. The other day I was coming outside one of the malls and there was an e-haling service that nearly took me out walking on the side of the road. Oh goodness. Um but I think what it made me realize is that a lot of the stuff that's currently in place, whether it's uh sort of online and stuff, our systems weren't developed really to absorb that. So we find this everything's bombarded, but the systems weren't created to absorb some of these things. So now it's like rethinking the people that have made these systems maybe 100, 200 years ago, are they still relevant for what world we're living in today? And what I find interesting is if you look at it, we spoke about it all fair, Shamie, is that in Australia that happened on the 10th of December, heaven, I love this. Yes, they've actually banned social media for under 16s. Brilliant. Which is, I mean, Shammy, I know you're a huge advocate for this. Absolutely. But what I find amazing is that they've obviously realized retrospectively what the just kind of let's go with this and see where this goes, what is actually the harm it's caused. Yes. And now they're going, okay, let's make a bold statement, and the world's watching. I mean, they're watching to see what this impact will be. But I really find this amazing, Shaumi.
SPEAKER_01:I do. I I find it incredibly there's many reasons I support this. Understanding the psychological effects this has is probably the number one thing. But that's not, you know, the only reason. I think it gives people children their childhoods back. And I think it's the thing, you know, when my children still to this day try to negotiate with me, and I have to be firm and say, I will stick to my resolve around this because, you know, they they want to be like every other teenager who is allowed social media. I think no, I I have to protect your childhood. And you know, they like to tell me that they're teenagers and not children anymore, but that's still considered a childhood. And I often think about this as a reason is that if me as an adult and I if I feel bombarded and sometimes overly influenced because there's a vulnerability I'm sitting with, if that for me as someone who feels like I'm reasonably grounded within myself, it if it affects me, what is it doing to a young mind who doesn't have the I want to say the mental defenses that they need. You know, it's none of that's developed. Also, most importantly, they have a very, they have a very developing brain still.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. No executive function.
SPEAKER_01:This is the thing, it's it's impacting. So yeah, so obviously I support I'm sure you do, and it's also interesting to me.
SPEAKER_03:I I came across the article in the week as well where Time magazine recently came up with the person of the year. Oh, I saw that. And it's the A architects of the future, people like Sam Altman, people like I think it's Jensen Jung. So these are people, and it's so interesting if I look at this now, because let's learn from what's happened. Yes. If social media, we haven't really put policies in place morally and stuff to safeguard people. Yes, truly. Let's use this as an example now. Like if I AI is left without any moral sort of compass and policy making, what will be the effects in five years' time? Because obviously AI develops a lot quicker than rapidly. Yes. So they say that every year the capability of AI basically doubles. So where will we sit in three years' time? So I think it's a very good indication for me that we could kind of go to a point of no return. So let's make sure that the policymakers do ensure that it's something that morally kind of guarded in a way.
SPEAKER_01:I also just want to remind everybody that AI is based on human knowledge.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:It's not that like the machine created that knowledge. This is human knowledge that's amalgamated and presented in a particular way, depending on how you ask the question. This is what we're all learning, right? And also depending on how much you use it. But just to remind people, this is based on human knowledge, it's not machine knowledge. And I think when you were talking about the systems aspect, I was thinking about well, none of these systems truly and genuinely consider human nature. Because if we were to hold in mind what human nature really is and how everything affects human beings, the systems we have today would not exist. Yeah. You know, it would it would need to change. But that's a whole conversation. And maybe to invite people to go and listen to the episode we did with Kalnesha Singh, yeah, which was incredible, you know. Strategizing and system evaluation and and shifting, yeah, what needs to be shifted. In order to again acknowledge human nature, but more importantly, the human being and their full experience.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah. So, Shawmi, on that point about kind of you know, Spotify. Spotify rapped. Yeah, Spotify rapped, and everyone kind of had a poster and you know what's been going on. Um it was interesting to me in terms of my consuming of certain music and stuff. I was quite surprised with some of it to say the least.
SPEAKER_00:It's surprised, I was shocked. It's wild. Like my rapt was wild.
SPEAKER_03:And we had a quite an interesting chat before we went on it saying, like, imagine if you could literally say, if you could rap the most kind of emotion that you had for the year, or whatever that may be, and what you thought it was, and actually what it is. Is it a chance for you to go to capture it right now and go like, and this was the interesting I think I heard, and Sharma, you know more about this too. What would matter more? Having less negative thoughts or more positive thoughts? What would impact you more? And it was interesting for me to find out that it's actually having less negative thoughts. So it shows you how much we are influenced by our own maybe self-negative talk at times, how it just kind of remains a loop in our in our life. And maybe, just maybe, we don't put it on loop to be in a Spotify rap at the end of next year.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I love that idea though. Like when we're talking about it, I thought that was so cool to think about what was the most consistent for you throughout the year, but also like where that shifted, because I think that's what was really wild to me. Like, I will not talk about who is my top artist. I'm disappointed in myself. But it's do you know what? This is this is the part that's really interesting. Is that even though that's data that exists, right? It's almost like it's it's data given without context, right? So this is may sound like the part to me that's about to make excuses. But when I think about that, when I when I looked at like who is my top artist, it was like it's not because I actually listened to that artist, it's because there was a song that I was this is sharing information, and I was working through something. Okay, okay, and I was listening to the song and I couldn't understand why I was so drawn to the song. Took it to therapy, told my therapist about it, and she's like, okay, so what is it about this? And I listened to it a couple more times, and then I thought, okay. And when that thing I was so engaged with passed, I didn't need the song anymore.
SPEAKER_04:Gotcha.
SPEAKER_01:And so that's the biggest revelation is that I think we can all say that our rapt is a reflection of probably where we were at emotionally and mentally.
SPEAKER_03:I love that. That's so important.
SPEAKER_01:It is, and so that's what I got to do was watch my journey in music. Wow. You know, the evolution in music and what I was drawn to and what soothed me and what got me up and going and what you know brought me alive. And so it's not, it's not a bad reflection, obviously. It's a very, I think, very healthy one to I and when I say bad, I mean the artist.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I just think my age, by the way, is 24.
SPEAKER_03:Wow. Most people were at it probably five to ten years.
SPEAKER_01:It's like it's like definitely only in music. But but that was interesting. And then I think there's one more thing I wanted to say about that. But the oh, the other shocking thing was that I listened to about 175 genres.
SPEAKER_03:Wow.
SPEAKER_01:How does one even manage that?
SPEAKER_03:I didn't even know there's probably more than 50 genres out there. I didn't know that either.
SPEAKER_01:I was like, are you guys punking me?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Okay. That's that's um, that's obviously useful. I love the part of you saying about context is important, what you went through at specific times. And I'll use that for kind of something else that just came to mind. I was chatting to someone recently as well, and she was saying, it's so interesting, you know, we we we listen to these experts on various whatever format, podcast, YouTube, whatever it is, and we go like, wow, I really look up this person, and they're so great. But we don't realize about 200 times before that they went through something, they had to work through it, yeah, get better, stride by stride, and get better and get better, get better. And yet we look at kind of like almost the finished product, we never were quite the finished product, anyone. That's the other point. But we look at them, we look up and go, like, wow, but where's the work the 200 times they may have failed? And I think that's the other important part.
SPEAKER_01:So true. That's so, so true. And so that this it's sort of it's sparked sparked off another reflection for me. Is that I think the most prominent learning for me this year has been relationally.
SPEAKER_05:Wow.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, I need to breathe when I say that. Excel. Yeah, and so so the reflection for me has been about relationships, relational dynamics, but also the evolution of relationships. Yes. And I've really had to, that's been a relearning for me. I've been a student of that again this year. Very humbly so, and very acceptingly so now as I sit here in December. But I think what's important is that what you were saying about nobody sees the journey, right, to the particular season you're in. And so we meet people at different seasons in their lives. Wow. And and we maybe sometimes make assumptions about how they got there. But we don't see the choices they had that they had to make, right? But we also don't see, exactly like you said, the practice, you know, and maybe the struggle and the challenge or the joys of of getting to that season in their lives.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And so you can meet people in different seasons of their lives. And and then with some people, you you are alongside them in those seasons. I mean, our friendship is 100% a testament to that, is that we've been alongside each other through every single season, and here we are in this one, right? And so that's been such an incredible reflection for me. Deep, excavating experiences I've had this year, which of course has brought me back to reflecting on the relationship with myself because that's that's where everything leads from. But yeah, I had the I had to let go of relationship, uh, a relationship I thought I'd never would have had to. I could not have imagined that. You know, I can say that maybe year and there there was a clue, but I don't think that I thought, well, it would have to be, you know, that it's done. But as you know, I'm someone who checks in with you know, whether that's the divine and praying about it and checking in with myself, I think. And just understanding that we went as far as we could together, you know, and that as much as there's heartbreak about that, and there's a sadness and a grief about that, like, you know, of course, being able to go come from a space of saying, like, I still wish them well, I still love them, I still want them to grow as a person, but I don't think we can do it together anymore, at least not in the same way we did it before.
SPEAKER_04:Gotcha.
SPEAKER_01:But the thing that I want to add to that is that what was happening simultaneously in another relationship and another friendship of mine, and it's actually this person's birthday today. I haven't wished her yet. I will call her after this. Is that I had the opposite experience. Yeah. This friend and I have been close for quite a few years, and she reached out to me and we just sort of ended up chatting one day. Yeah. And she expressed sadness around essentially me not necessarily being there for her as much as she needed me to. And it was one of those conversations that it's a hard conversation. I'm sure. You know, with great vulnerability. But I think the thing that that it did for me was it proved that there can be different outcomes for different relationships. And the and what we were able to do together is I mean, she said it very straight to me in a very, you know, loving way. Yeah. And the words she used was actually I needed you.
SPEAKER_04:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Which immediately made me very tearful.
SPEAKER_04:Sure.
SPEAKER_01:And it wasn't it wasn't because I was feeling bad, you know. Of course I was feeling bad that I'd, you know, let this person down and disappointed them. But I don't want to be that friend. You know, that's not how I want to show up in any of my relationships, right? Whether that's friendship, yeah, romantic with my children, whatever it is. And so we spoke about it. It was a deep, vulnerable, intimate conversation about her needing me, me not being able to be there, why that happened. And there was such A sharing of something for both of us, I think. Because she then also said, you know, well, wow, I don't think I've ever been met in this way when I have said, you know, this is how I feel. And we were both very grateful that we could do that.
SPEAKER_04:Gotcha.
SPEAKER_01:This is also a very deeply reflective individual, you know, who's who's also very grounded within herself. And I do think that makes a huge difference.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:But it was a beautiful conversation and and and again, you know, deeply humbled me because I still very much get it wrong. And and so what came out of that was recommitment and re-prioritizing. Because one of the things I said to her was that it's the age-old dynamic, which is that sometimes we end up prioritizing people that don't necessarily reciprocate as much as the people who are often reciprocating. And so it was an active and conscious decision to redirect that energy and say, I can't do this the same way anymore. Gotcha. You know, the people that I have that are few that are very close to me in terms of friendship, these are the people that I'm I'm now consciously recommitting to making time for, spending time with. And so, yeah, and so we we kind of like recommitted to each other, and it's been so different now. Yeah, because that's obviously also opened up a new depth in our relationship. You know, so yeah, that's been yeah, very profound and loving experience for me.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, like I I think that can possibly only happen when you've had a history but not in time, but you've shared meaningful deep experiences that can go back to. Yes, it can only happen with that because and I love what you always tell me, and I I never forget this with these words you always tell me this, you like you can only meet someone with that. Yes, and so like there's got to be a lot of alignment too for there to be a choice to actually take it further. So for me, yeah, it makes a lot of sense. It does make a lot of sense, and I think relationally for me, I've learned so much this year by doing this podcast. Number one, being a reflection to me myself, yes, the content we've done, going back to listening to it again and landing differently a second, a third time when I've had to edit and stuff, and then some of the guests we've done and some of the you know the discussions we've had. But relationally for me, it's been amazing because I've also realized, like you were saying, there's some important prominent figures in my life that I realize that you know, when life gets busy, I I may not play an active role in maybe doing from my side what I possibly could. And I guess life is busy. But I appreciate the people that when you have a discussion, maybe you've been in the company that reach out to you often and say, I noticed when you said this you didn't look okay. Is this something you want to talk about? Those are the people that you should guard with dear life. Man, he said to me, Listen, yeah, no pressure for now, grab a cup of coffee, you want to talk further about it. But I noticed when you said this, I saw something within you. Like that's amazing because that tells me that those people are really invested in you and how you grow. And those are the friendships you should really, really like foster and look after because so much of things these days is just about commodities. People are just seen as commodities to get what they need for other people. So the mere fact on we speak about relational aspects of life, it's so important. And it made me think something else I saw this week, Shammy. So there's a lot of Christmas dinners going on, corporate parties and stuff like functions. And I noticed when we were walking to ours earlier this week, there were also a lot of people just on a holiday with like families having like at restaurants, having dinners and stuff, whatever. But it made me realize why do we wait for certain periods of time when it actually thin slow down to actually catch up with people we love and people that we should make time, actively make time. Yes, and I think that's what's kind of also getting from you. Yes, that it's not about waiting for the perfect moment when life is not as hectic because life is hectic, let's be honest.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly.
SPEAKER_03:We have to make and put time aside for the people that matter. Yes. Um, so when I when I saw that this week, I was like, it's so interesting. I love to see relation, people are talking, and it looks like a lot of fun, and things are slowing down for those people that are sitting there. Yes. But when life gets busy past the festive season and people haven't had like the break they do now, how are you actively going to make sure that you maintain those relationships and you keep those relational people in your life that actually help you grow in community? That's the important part to me, too. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:That's so important. And you're right, you know, the person who takes an interest, yeah, you know, who's able to say to you, I noticed. I mean, noticing, and as we know, attention is the beginning of devotion. Yeah. And when you think about these relationships that, you know, you say is important to you, how do you how does your devotion play out?
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:What does that look like, you know, in your action? Yeah. And so it's definitely been about reprioritizing for me in the same way, you know, giving that energy. And then, of course, being able to say, because I think about a relationship in most of my friendships, and you know, I feel free in them. There's no need for me to be anything specific, and there isn't none of my friends are saying needy. Okay. I mean, I don't mind if they were though. Yeah. Because I think they'd they'd also be needy with consideration.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So I don't mind. But I actually just was texting with a friend of mine who's away on a on a short trip. She actually went to go see the gorillas in Rwanda. Wow. Incredible. Jeez, that's amazing. Yeah, and she texted to say, No, there's no way I can see you only again in 2026.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:These are the dates that I'm here in Cape Town until. And that was exactly my response. What you just said was, I'll make the time. Yeah. Because you are that important to me. And because we can't spend most of the year together going hiking up mountains, and then all of a sudden I'm too busy in December. Whatever it is, whether we do a quick coffee, I'll see you, I'll give you a hug, and we'll say, see you again, you know, in 2026. So I do think it's about where you put your energy.
SPEAKER_03:I love that. I just a bit off topic, but um, I work with a lot of females in office. Yeah, and one of them are co-authoring the book, and she said to me, Lincoln, do guys have emotions? They get butterflies. And I said, What? She's obviously a lot younger. But I said, What do you mean? She says, Do you get butterflies? I said, Well, I don't know if it's maybe the thought of butterflies, but do I They're not masculine, yeah? So I was like, but yeah, we'd get nervous if one could call her that too. Yeah, and what it came down to the conversation after long discussion of a lot of laughs was to say that um exactly what you said now, as a male, whether it's female or male, if I like someone, I will make it known, I'll show up like I like them.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, and I think that's important. Thank you. That's always been the lesson you've reminded me of.
SPEAKER_03:If you really want to, if you want to show I've I've always told Shaman at this time, tell them why someone because I needed to turn to Lincoln and go, please tell me the masculine perspective. If a guy really wants to take things further, he will make it the effort to do it. Thank you. And I think in life, that's pretty much a motto we can take in life. You will make the time if you want to really do something. I mean, put the energy where it needs to be. Man, I to work to get my wife. So I think what it comes down to is just going like if there's something that you really want to go after in life, put in the effort. Um because it says a lot if you if you don't really yeah, like how badly do you want something?
SPEAKER_00:Yes, yeah, yes, you know, we live in a world that's very instant gratification.
SPEAKER_03:I can swipe left if I want to, whatever the case is. I don't have to put in the effort. Uh, but trust me, there's no easy way. Any like a relational or relationship that starts, yes, it takes work. And yes, there's that little bit of a honeymoon phase, and you know, put our best self forward, but it takes work.
SPEAKER_01:It does. Well, she was so worth it. She's a goddess. Absolutely. Someone, someone, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Like I say, I'm so grateful to have someone that understands me so well and that does the journey of life together. I think that's the important part. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I love that about your relationship too, being able to watch how you really are partners. Yeah. You know, it's not just a word, it's like this is a partnership.
SPEAKER_03:And Shami will know, I'll chat too. It's like we meet each other in the mess. Yes. And we go through the mess and we get out on the other side. Where I find a lot of couples these days in a relationship in a marriage, when it's too much work, they let go of the mess and they take an exit. Wow. So for me, it's about meeting someone in the mess and going through together to grow.
SPEAKER_01:I love that. You should give relationship advice.
SPEAKER_03:I'm going to say on the same topic about what relationships are really important to you in friendships. I've also had a reflection this year to understand, and it's on more the wording, not the people have come up with this, but let them. If people don't show up for you and they've shown you certain parts of themselves and they don't really make the time and effort, let them. I have in a situation where you mentioned earlier, I can't remember exactly what you mentioned, but it made me think of something. So many times I've tried to squeeze water out of a stone when realizing that it was done. I knew my heart it was done, but yet I've still tried to make something work. And that might be some of the religious things that you carry, those kind of things, like, you know, be the better person, show mercy and grace. But there's also been that intuition part of me that going, like, you know, I I get the feeling that this is kind of done its time, yes, and I'm okay with that. But let's not let's not push it for more than what it is and was. Yes, like a season. So for me, I've realized with some people, and like you always tell me, you can only meet someone to where they're at, their journey. I've realized some people are just not at that level of that journey or junction of their life, and that's okay. We all like you say, we meet at other different parts of our life, and I've come to accept that, which has been amazing for me this year, because in the past I've tried to be the one to reach out more, to give more of myself, and that's a lot to do with other things too. Yeah, but we won't go into that now. But I've just realized like just let people because they're gonna be who they are.
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely, and and the humbling way to think about that is you get to be who you are.
SPEAKER_03:Amazing.
SPEAKER_01:So let them be who they are, yes, and just understand it's exactly what you're saying. It it is no, it is no reflection on you, it's just the fact that there is an alignment. Yeah, and I'm reminded of something that Caroline Mace often says she says the universe is both impersonal and intimate.
SPEAKER_03:Wow, I love that.
SPEAKER_01:So if you think about what that means, is that, and you know, if you listen to her, she's very yeah, like she she she'll just tell you straight, you know. And she's like, stop taking it personally, you know, stop taking it personally. But on that same note, I want to say though, the opposite of the let them is what we are not encouraging is the allowing people to get away with stuff. Yes, and even that is you know exists on a spectrum, is that sometimes you do have to use your voice and to name something with someone.
SPEAKER_04:Gotcha.
SPEAKER_01:You know, also part of the experiences I've had this year was to be able to name it and say, okay, but that's not okay, or that doesn't feel good. But beyond that, nothing else is in your control. And so maybe that's where the let them fits in, is that you can use your voice and advocate for yourself. That's something that's really important. But beyond that, you can't make someone feel a certain way about you. Yes, you can't make them think about you in a certain way. You know, you can try, and again, you can meet them with an open heart and an open mind, and there can still be, you know, no place to go with that. And so that's important. And I think when I think reflectively for myself, the seven-year cycle that I am willing to say now, that I think we spoke about in a few in a in the forgiveness episode, was that it was around self-abandonment. And I felt the end of that.
SPEAKER_04:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:You know, the completion of really and when I say completion, it it's you know, I do know how people think like, oh, so you heal now, and you can that's not what I mean. When I say completion ease, is that that is now embodied knowledge. And so I was joking with in my uh breathing the feminine session with ladies last Sunday, and we did a session on reflection and integration, and really just, you know, doing it with breath work.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And I was saying, you know, I had like a moment, a Hollywood moment. Unfortunately, I didn't have a camera present, so I didn't record my crying. Like it's so common in this day and age. Yeah. So there's no proof of this, but it was real. It happened. And I had a moment where I just read about this, and it was, you know, for all the stuff that I have to say against it, it was something I found on social media and I was reading, and it was for the first time it dawned on me in the way that it did that this is something I do often. And so I joked and said, So obviously I read it and now I was gonna stop doing it. You know, because now I have the theory, but that was the beginning, literally the beginning of understanding, okay. So now you've invited this in so fully that you'll spend the next seven years, right, yeah, toiling and exploring and excavating all the ways in which you do it. Right. Whether that's in a big way, in a small way, yeah, like in a tiny way. And so the big stuff I think left me a while ago.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Where I just was no, the boundaries have to be in place. But it's the subtlety that really got me. It was the the nuance, the way that it showed up, and the things that I was obviously on some level unconscious about, you know. And so that was the completion for me. I felt that become embodied knowledge.
SPEAKER_04:Gotcha.
SPEAKER_01:And at the same time that that dawned, I was invited back and ushered back into community. And I'm saying that because I left community, and when I say that, I mean I didn't spend a lot of time in different communities because it didn't always feel safe. Gotcha. Again, not because they were necessarily unsafe, yeah, but because I had to establish safety within myself relationally. Because when you don't self-abandon, the way that you relate is there's space for you and there's space for me. And I don't leave myself in order to be with you.
SPEAKER_04:Gotcha.
SPEAKER_01:Or be in a friendship with you, a relationship with you, to be aligned with you, to belong to you. And so this when I say that, I mean families, communities, another person.
SPEAKER_04:Gotcha.
SPEAKER_01:And that's really, I think, what we, you know, I think for a lot of people that's quite challenging. But that was the that was the completion, and I feel I felt it really just literally integrate.
SPEAKER_04:Wow, it's amazing.
SPEAKER_01:And so, yeah, I'm very excited about that as well.
SPEAKER_03:That's that's really amazing. I I I love that reflection because if I if I think about some individuals that I work in different spaces with, and kind of like I always said to you, this podcast is running adjacent to my own eating, kind of in a way. But I I look at some of that play out, like you know, some of those topics like self-abandonment and you know, kind of lack of self-worth at times too. And I see some individuals that I work in spaces with like always trying to show their worth by the actions, the large, grandiose actions they want to do, or but they they they give so much to themselves and lose so much to themselves in that process. So it like if I if I just think about we spoke about this a while ago in the forgiveness episode. I mentioned that I I got to a point where I started understanding what forgiveness actually meant. And I felt that you know, doing that episode and then doing some of the work afterwards, and then coincidentally I was faced with that same individual that something happened probably a week after that. Kind of like I went like okay, an episode, I feel better about it, and bang, it stung me. Like it really stung me, and I was like, Okay, but it's like you're saying you kind of embody it now, yes, and it's like, yes, it stings, yes, but it doesn't last as long. Yes, yes, and that was that was the biggest lesson. I was like, Yes, it's like it's a lifelong journey, yeah, but it's like I have an immune system that's stronger now, so it's like it hit me, but it didn't stay with me for two weeks, like an illness. It hit me for a day or two and moved on. So that to me was like going, like, okay, this work they call about healing and being reflective. Um, and so many guests we've we've interviewed coming, really like people that are intellectually very like smart people. Um obviously, I mean your uh your breathwork teacher, Sarah Matted. Sarah Matted, yes. I mean, if she said, like, guys, this episode was actually so reflective for me, and we don't really get a chance to do this, it just shows the importance of actually reflecting back on some of the things that you've kind of maybe not aware of that happened this year. So take a bit of time to go and reflect because you may see that you've actually done a bit more work than you thought you have, or maybe there's some things that you really want to really work on in 2026. Um, but I don't really want to go 2026. Why wait till 2026? You know, I had a discussion with someone a couple of weeks back, and you know, because some of the years like next year I want to go to the gym. They don't want to do this, they don't want to do this. Resolution. Yeah, so I started feeling a little bit low energy-wise, probably towards the end of October, the year's kind of taking its toll. And my wife said to me, Listen, you know, we've got two small kids, why don't we just do the park run? That's a start. So it was very difficult to wake up really early on a Saturday morning and get the kids ready and stuff like that. But we started doing the park run, which starts at eight. It's a nice community-based thing. You see other people, like-minded people, whether it is just for relational or whether it is to get fit, whatever. But it's nice to see people out in the world doing good. And it was so nice for me because, in a way, of me getting to see their people that want to get fit and there's hope for things, and it's like it's just a positive mindset. But then you do it. I'm not waiting until 2026. I'm doing one small thing once a week. Yes, and then it builds. You go, like, okay, that wasn't too bad. Maybe the first time was like great getting out a bit early. But now then we join Jim like two weeks later. Then we go, like, okay, two nights a week, you look after the boys when you get home, and then two nights a week, I will do that. So, what I'm trying to say is why wait yes another two months to start something, even if it means like doing something for five or ten minutes, like every second day, start that because you you are starting the habits of going into the new year already. Have started something instead of going like cold, cold turkey, I'm gonna start something now because the mind doesn't work like that.
SPEAKER_01:It doesn't, you're right. I mean, I love I love those reflections, and again, how because of the different seasons in our lives, movement and exercise looks different now. Now you've got to do it as a family, so we have to join the park run. But I love that because again, it's a testament. To the season we are in our lives, where we are in our lives. And this is it. This is continuous evolution. This is the message I think of reflection is that again, you take a walk through um a year of experiences and you look at how you evolved, yeah, maybe from month to month, even season to season, and you know, where you are, and yeah, and and just I feel like the beauty of that. I know there's a lot of challenges it comes with. And I think I've also watched a lot of people around me, people I love, face their own challenges, you know, and that in itself, you know, tugs at the heart. And but there's also this respect that I have for process, you know, that I look at someone and go, I can see why you need to do that. I can see why that's part of your journey. And I can't, I can maybe offer a helping hand here and there, but it's something you it's a path you have to walk. Yeah, you know, and I can't get in the way of that because I know what it's done for me when I've been able to really just be my process.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And if there's one thing I'm gonna have, now that I've understood deeply within my body, self-abandonment is I'm gonna have my process.
SPEAKER_05:You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01:I'm gonna have my process. And I and I think that's maybe what I want to encourage people to protect is to protect your process. Yeah, you know, there isn't a again, you know, this running in and out of things and this like the quick fix, you know, culture and the and the roller coaster ride. Yeah, you know, and thinking that that's normal because it's not.
SPEAKER_03:That's not. I just uh on that topic went about last week sometime, I was driving home and you know, I obviously lived close to a mall, and where I live, obviously, this time of the year it's very busy at malls. Yes. I was coming down at the back, down an old theme park, you know, where I was speaking about. Yes, yes, and the traffic was quite heavy. And what I saw people doing before you get right down to the end of the road, there's a lot of office blocks. People were kind of making a VS the slight right to go to the mall, quick, like a quick kind of way. And then literally what happened as soon as you just go slightly down, there was a car on the side of the road and he was gone, and then people could kind of go quickly again. But isn't that so true of life? We we get and we see something that looks very difficult, yeah, and we're like, I'm gonna take a short right or short left, yeah. Wow, and then actually once you just pass it, things just ease up again. But we don't want to sit in the discomfort for like longer than five minutes because it's too like it's too much. And I just thought about that reflection that down, I thought, like, isn't this so true of our life is? Yes, you know, we we just want to take a quick detour, yeah. And literally, when you just pass that, things ease up again. Yes, and but people aren't willing to just face it head on and sit with it for a while, yes, and they look for the quick exit, like you're saying.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and we and there's and you know, there's uh I think what you were saying early on about uh the embodied knowledge being that we have a nervous system that actually recalibrates once we have integrated something. And so discomfort also does that for us. That's it, you know, it helps us expand and it helps us become a little bit more robust as human beings, and it shapes the brain, you know, because because of neuroplasticity, you know, this never ends, it doesn't, it exists until the day we, you know, close our eyes and go toward the light. So so yeah, so there is there's something to be said about discomfort, and you're absolutely correct. I think the way that we fear monger with ourselves is that we say, Oh, this is gonna last forever. You know, like you don't know that. Yeah, you don't know how long that's gonna last. It could actually be like five minutes of it, you know.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, very, very true. Yeah. I think another reflection, Shami, if I look at our podcast series and some of the guests we've had on and what I see plowed in my my working environment or my career, is looking at individuals that show up with courage. It's been so wonderful. If I if I look at how some leaders I look towards, they're not the most charismatic leaders, yes, but they're courageous. Wow. So they show up. They, if they is a difficult conversation to be had, they're okay with people not liking them at the time, sitting in the discomfort for a short while, but they know they're doing it for the best interest of the individual or what is needed for that environment. And I feel that's so much necessary in today's society. We don't have people that are willing to stand out and say what they really want to say because they're so scared of being othered because of like you know, all the agendas going on and the narratives going out there or playing out. So we need courageous people to actually take a stance on certain things.
SPEAKER_01:We do, we do. It may so I actually saw this quote, I think it was last week, and it said it said that a lead being a leader doesn't mean that you have followers. Being a leader means you go first. Yes, and that's what what what to me you are describing is that I'll be the one to model courage, I'll be the one to show up and be courageous. Because as we know, people take the lead quite literally from that. And I do think that I think when it becomes this is the power of what I believe is embodied knowledge, but also embodied principle and just being, is that if it's in you and it's embodied knowledge, you radiate every you radiate that everywhere you go. And so you show up in a room, you quite literally give people permission just by being it and it being embodied knowledge, right? Is that you come into the room with that and there's literally a resonance in the room and in the space that you occupy. And some people pick up on that and they sense it, even though they can't name it sometimes.
SPEAKER_04:Gotcha.
SPEAKER_01:They sense it and they go, That feels that feels like you know, an alignment or it feels like it resonates. And so that's all it means is that you go first, you know, you're willing to.
SPEAKER_03:I I love the example you used before we went on air. You were saying that someone you work with in your practice, he shows up morally in every aspect of his life. Yes. And sometimes courage means that. Sometimes about knowing that you may be judged for taking those moral principles, yeah, but yet you still stand firm in what you believe. Absolutely. And I feel we need a lot more of those people in the world.
SPEAKER_01:We do, and it's again like when I think about people like that, is like that are an experience to me.
SPEAKER_04:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:You sit with them and you can experience it, you sense it, you feel it, that they mean what they say. There we go. And they say what they mean. Yes. But also, again, this is in every part of my life. I'm not, you know, choosing one aspect and then saying, okay, I'll be this way and this, you know, in this aspect of my life.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And it really is an experience and it's profound because again, you know, we all giving each other permission.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. It's not a not a grandiose gesture to look good or in a certain context. You know, I've seen people that that treat people of every sort of whatever scope of life they're in, in a corporate setting, they they will greet someone of a lesser kind of role, whatever, the same as they would like a CEO. Now those individuals that I trust.
SPEAKER_00:Yes.
SPEAKER_03:When it comes to like really difficult times and they have to go to give a like a lead on something, yes, those are the people that I trust.
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And I think what you were saying earlier on is that, you know, in the moment, again, the courage is to be disliked. Yes. The courage is to be name-called. Yeah. The courage is to withstand, you know, I think like incorrect interpretations of what you're doing.
SPEAKER_03:100%.
SPEAKER_01:But that's a practice. I just, you know, one to remind people that courage is a it is faculty of the heart. Yeah. It's not of the head.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. I was reminded that so much. I said earlier this week, when I chatting to someone, I said, what I've done really well the last couple of years is work top-down, um, executive function. Like work for go to this must be set right. If I get this question, I've got this answer, A, B, C, D, D. Yes. What I've been really bad at is working bottom-up intuition. And I've realized that I actually can go into spaces and use my intuition more. Absolutely. Um, and it's been when someone told that to me, I was like, Is it but like you can.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, you can.
SPEAKER_03:You can. And it was such a good thing, and we were speaking about parenting. And she says, like, you know, certain areas I've seen improvement, whatever. But she says, now you gotta take that also to your children and not feel like perhaps that you, you know, like maybe you don't want to overdo it or whatever, trust the intuition. Yes. So I think a lot of us don't always trust our intuition, and you're speaking about you know, leading from the heart. Yes, that's so important because you know, when you're in a community of people you can trust and friends and stuff, you can actually really show those.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:But when you're not in a safe environment, you can't always really show up because you're kind of protecting your interests in a way.
SPEAKER_01:You are, and I think you can't use the word intuition.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. In corporate no.
SPEAKER_01:You know, out there. But it's it's um, and I think we we all understand what it is, but we don't necessarily use the word.
SPEAKER_05:Gotcha.
SPEAKER_01:But I mean, you don't need to tell anybody that that's what you're doing.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:You know, you can just trust your intuition. Yeah. I mean, I I don't know if there's information that I trust more than my intuition. I actually think it's like that to me is my number one source.
SPEAKER_04:Gotcha.
SPEAKER_01:Not to say that I don't pay attention and don't do research and all of that stuff. I do, but it's but I do also go with go with, okay, how does that fit in with, you know, my intuitive knowledge of something? Gotcha. And just plugging in, you know. Well, maybe not plugging in, attuning to that. Because it's an attunement.
SPEAKER_03:You know, energy never lies.
SPEAKER_01:It does not.
SPEAKER_03:One thing I think I've learned a lot from you over the years, it does not. In times when I have doubted and I've gonna think back, my intuition was always right. It was always right. Yep. I might have been off maybe once, uh, but I mean, generally 99% has been right.
SPEAKER_01:100%. I mean, and I 100% can attestament to that because I think I've seen, I've watched you use it, you know, which is obviously incredible. But as we say, your energy introduces yourself before you do. Yes. It enters the room before you do everything else. And so this idea that we can, you know, and I really do think the world is waking up to that. Yeah. As societies, we are we're going, okay, you're saying this, but this is what I sense about you. Gotcha. Something here is not matching. Gotcha. We can't always say that and address it. And in some instances, it's probably unsafe. But there is a trusting of self in that that's really important, you know.
SPEAKER_03:I get you.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And then I think one big thing for me that I'd like to just speak about as this year and this podcast series, and just the wonderful experiences and growth and loss and disappointments, and then growth, and then the loops. Just when I think I've, you know, kind of got out of that, and then this wonderful thing happens again, humanity surprises me again, someone does a kind gesture, it's gratitude. I think I'm so grateful for everything that's happened, like all encompassing the loss, the the grief, the awakenness, if I can put it that way of things. That I you know, that I am able to meet my children differently, that I'm able to show up differently in relationships and be present. I think Shaman, it's a big thing for you. You've always taught me about presence, but it's been amazing how I've seen positive spin-offs of everything of that. Like it's just like it's like I can't even explain to you. It's been a game change this year, and and just how grateful I am for everything that's transpired. And whether it's my experience of life coupled with the healing, I don't really know. But you know, I I look at people that we've worked with. We lost a colleague earlier this week, an amazing individual that just gave so much of himself. And I think that I have the opportunity, like we all speak about, to still do this again today to sit here opposite you and do a podcast. And to be a reminder to people, like you know, stop looking for what I can gain in the future, yeah, and just come back a bit and realize how grateful you should have to have what you're breathing right now. Yes. The fact that you have, even if you have one friend that you can rely on, yeah, it's more than most people probably do have that they can rely on. The fact that you have a roof over your head, you have water to drink, clean water. I think probably in a season, Sami, where a lot of people, my bonus is not what it should be. I I can't buy that big screen TV, I can I can't get my kids this. But um, I think just on a serious note, just to go, like, you know, there's there's so much to be grateful for. The fact that we could bring this to life this year, that I've learned so much more. Our friendship has gone to a deeper level as well. But there's just been so much growth this year, and I think that only comes when you're willing to be a little bit courageous and put yourself out there. It was a big thing for me to do this podcast. I mean, you know. So I I'm just grateful for everything. I think that it's been all-encompassing this year, the good and the bad, whatever that looks like.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, absolutely, because they're all good actually, yeah. But it's uh that's such a beautiful reflection, you know. And I I think I can see that that's embodied knowledge. Do you know what I mean? That that's an embodied experience for you. I mean, we've spoken about what gratitude plays, the role it plays for both of us. And again, it's an expansive quality. So when you're grateful, there's more. Yeah. You know, and yeah, I I I mean, I'm I I think gr gratitude is a great practice, like you know, for a lot of for for you to do just as a as a daily activity that's part of your reflection.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:That can be part of your reflection. I think, yeah. So my my gratitude is for so much. A lot of the time I just my friend and I were walking in the forest two weeks ago, and there was this gust of wind that came. And it wasn't a gust of wind like wind, it was wind that came to wake you up to something.
SPEAKER_04:Gotcha.
SPEAKER_01:And it felt very mystical, you know, but maybe I see that that, you know, in everything. And we both stopped and listened and just felt and carried on walking and saw this incredible bird that was just there, and I took pictures of it. And then and I turned to her and I said, My greatest gratitude is that I'm awake to that.
SPEAKER_03:Wow.
SPEAKER_01:And and so that's a pre I I I say all the time is keep me awake, you know, to the wonder of the world. Keep me awake to gratitude, you know, to everything that's working, you know, for a world and a planet that doesn't ask for your permission to exist like it does, yeah, you know, that produces what it produces. And and that's I think my greatest gratitude is to be awake to looking at wow, that's a huge challenge, and this was very hard. And I cried buckets for this thing. But I know that it's taking me, you know, it's taking me through life, it's helping me evolve, and this is what I asked for. So it's like forgive me what you ask for. Yeah, but it's yeah, there's a there is an expansive quality around gratitude, and and so maybe that's my greatest thing, is that I also think as we were reflecting on me saying that I don't, for the first time in many years, feel burnt out by December, but really maybe just the normal tiredness is that I think this has this podcast has actually played a big role in that. Okay. And it's something we might have said in our introduction episode where because I've been able to this has been a form of rest for me because it's a form of playing creativity, in spite of the fact that sometimes we are talking about very serious topics. It's been a place where I've explored cu my curiosity and you know, just within myself. And so I think a part of me not getting to that point of burnout has been because of this. And it's strange because it feels like work, you know. Sometimes I come from the practice on a Saturday and I've been and I've been consulting in the morning. And whenever Lincoln and I text, you'll always go, like, are you sure you'll be okay? You know, or your message to say, like, you know, will your energy levels be okay? And it really is, because the moment I walk in the door, I know that it's not this heavy expectation to perform. And that's the word that's been big this year. Yes. This is not a performance, this is me being present in a form of rest, which is a creative pursuit. Gotcha. You know, I get to do this, and so it doesn't feel like work. So, yeah, that's been so thank you to you. I think we've had, as usual, incredible conversations. Yeah, we have. And we've had people listen to us interact and say, I noticed this about Lincoln and I noticed this about you.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And you know what I mean? But it's been, it's just been such a joy. And yeah, we finally did it.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, we finally did it. Um and we we're here right now, and like I say, it's been it's really been an amazing experience. And we trust that as we move forward, yeah, that you may join us, not to find instant fixes, no, but like Shamla says, to hopefully embody some of the work that you're doing, go through the process and just do some of your own work, you know, because it is it is a journey, it really is a journey, a steady, steady journey, you know. Sometimes you move forward and then you go a bit back, and then you move two steps forward again. Yeah, I think where people think that, you know, I've made it, now I've done it, and now I'm good. No, you're gonna walk out then, life's gonna hit you. Yes, you know, so all we're doing is like we have these conversations to create the curiosity. Yeah. To maybe say, like, hey, I can relate to that. I I've maybe felt I haven't maybe voiced it, but I've maybe thought that way. Shalami, I think before we head on to a close, I know you were mentioning that that you possibly want to share some interesting insights with us. And I said I love what you had to share. I think it's quite important that to ask yourself some relevant questions before you head into the new year for twofold. Number one, like, is this something that you've looked in this year and like this looking you can relate to? But secondly, maybe you haven't done as what you would want it to this year, and where could you possibly focus and put your attention to maybe put the work in in those areas? Um, so without further ado.
SPEAKER_01:Yes. So so I thought what I would do is again last week in my session, my breath work session, we did a small bit of reflection and journaling. And these were the questions that I asked all the participants to reflect on. They're seven. So if you want to get a pen and paper, we could just pause this or come back. These are the questions. Number one is what has been your greatest resistance this year? Number two, what has been your greatest acceptance this year? Three, where have I abandoned myself this year? I can see why that's a relevant question. Um and then four is what brought Me alive this year. Five, where have I stepped into more of my true self this year?
SPEAKER_04:Gotcha.
SPEAKER_01:Six is how have I treated myself this year? And where and how am I in relationship to myself? And the last one is what have I grieved this year?
SPEAKER_03:Wow. Yeah. I think it'll land differently with every single individual listening.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Yeah. And I think the I think what you were saying about, you know, sometimes we don't reach the goals or the resolutions we had for the year because life happened in a way that we didn't expect it to. Sometimes we have to grieve those things. Yeah. You know, I agree. Sometimes we have to grieve the fact that we didn't, you know, achieve something. Um and it's really helpful because anytime you grieve, you make space for for something different to evolve from that. Yeah. And to just a quote I thought of, and this is a quote by Sramila Safadin, is that the work of self-reflection is always in your favor.
SPEAKER_03:I love that twofold, actually. Yeah, yeah. You think about it deeper than just the actual, yeah. I love that. That's that's amazing. Just two of those I'd like to just the one about what's been your biggest acceptance. Yes. So mine was forgiveness. Um, relationally, that's been a big thing for me that I've I've had a long journey with that, and it's definitely got a lot better. Coming down to some of those things where you feel like you maybe haven't reached or attained a goal or something you've set for yourself. You mentioned something a while ago in one of the episodes, or maybe it was even one of our conversations, where you said to me, Sometimes we set unrealistic expectations to can't meet. Yes. And then there's also kind of a disappointment, but it's because we set the standards so high we were bound to fail it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yes, yes, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Which we we we tend to often do in some area of our life, all of us actually. And I guess that's got a lot to do with what we view on social media and stuff. True. Yes, I mean how the standards are set. Yeah, so kind of trying to think like if I don't do that standard of what I see as being kind of like the standard, then anything under that is not acceptable. So I think it's also kind of relevant to understand expectations as well. That's also very important. I love that.
SPEAKER_01:That's such an important reflection.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I just thought I'd mention that because I thought it was quite important. But you were the one that told me that, by the way. Now this Shamla quotes.
SPEAKER_01:But it's but but that no, but that's such an important reflection again. And this is the point of reflection, is that we I mean my one of my very favorite quotes in the world, I have so many, but is we shall not cease from exploration, and the end to all our exploring will be to arrive at the beginning and know that place for the first time. And so that's lived, that's a quote that's lived with me because and it's so relevant in my work and anybody that's done any form of work on themselves, is that you revisit places and you're different every time.
SPEAKER_03:You know, like an even decimant in reality.
SPEAKER_01:Yep. Yeah, yeah, and it's and you go deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper. So self-reflection, as you know, we do depth here. For sure. We welcome it. So self-reflection is not just this goal-oriented superficial act. It's really sitting with it and considering it. And I want to even introduce the word contemplate.
SPEAKER_04:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:You know, and it's it's not let me answer these seven questions. Please don't approach reflection like that. Really sit with it. And I think what I would say is don't just think about it, feel into it. You know, like where does the question land in your body? Yeah, did your breath, you know, sort of become shallow? Was your chest a little bit tight when you considered that? And just notice what happens for you. So really feel into it.
SPEAKER_04:Gotcha.
SPEAKER_01:And I think it's a really beautiful, almost ritualistic practice you can do with yourself. Gotcha. Where you say, I'm gonna give myself this time to really just sit, yeah, you know, yeah and reflect.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:One last thing that I heard this week, which I find quite interesting, I can't remember what the actor's name is, but basically he said is would you rather would you rather be unhappy in a fiesta? Or would you rather be unhappy in a Ferrari? And the guy's answer was interesting.
SPEAKER_00:What was it?
SPEAKER_03:The answer was he said, actually, I'd rather be unhappy in a fiesta because then I know there's hope for possibly more. If I'm unhappy in my Ferrari, I've reached the core of my life where I've attained what I thought would make me happy. Interesting. But now I've got to ask deeper questions.
SPEAKER_01:Oh wow. Well, that's the way to end. You know, in the depth, but that's wow, that's profound.
SPEAKER_03:Because sometimes we think when we get to the end of what we thought would make us happy, actually takes us back to ask more deeper, relevant questions in life. And that's what we do on the humor story. We do. So on that note, from Myself Lincoln, have a wonderful festive season, whatever you are going to be doing. Enjoy the rest and the break. 2026, come back and do this all again. I have no expectation, yes, just embrace it. But come back, I would say, Shami, if I look at everything we've spoken about this year, just to be curious about life in general and see where that takes you.
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely. And I, yeah, for me as well, like be safe. And I want to say that, you know, understand this as an evolution. Yes. It takes the pressure off, you know. Yes. There's no specific way that looks. Wow, it takes on so many different forms. And I often say, I could never have dreamt the life that I have.
SPEAKER_04:Wow, that's amazing.
SPEAKER_01:You know, I could never have dreamt it. And when I say that, I mean with the good and the challenges it's come with. Yeah. I could never have written this for myself. And so that's what's really been helpful is for me to see this as an evolution of myself and everything I receive is really just about shaping and reshaping me as the individual I'm meant to be. Right. And so, yeah, I'm also looking forward to 2026. We have a few guests that we've already thought of and have invited. And so we're excited to continue to have these conversations. So, yeah, from me, Shamila, we send you love and embrace your humanity. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:For myself, Lincoln, we look forward to next year, and we'll catch you again.
SPEAKER_02:Well, that was the Human Story brought to you by Yoked Media. Stay tuned for more on the Human Story.