Ep. 27: From Manchild to Embodying Masculinity

In Episode 27, Maria is joined by Patrick Tromley, also known as The Level Up Dad. As a Mindset & Performance coach, Patrick assists individuals in overcoming detrimental habits and excuses, guiding them toward an undeniable transformation through the development of positive habits, discipline, fitness, and nutrition. Patrick recounts his journey, detailing how he shifted away from self-centeredness and the traits of a "manchild" by embracing discipline, starting with a focus on nutrition. This change rippled into every facet of his life, enabling him to fully commit to his family.  Patrick explains that stepping into his masculine energy enabled his wife to embrace her feminine energy more deeply. Despite experiencing upheavals due to the Mortgage Meltdown in 2008 and subsequent career setbacks, Patrick persevered, ultimately transitioning into real estate investing then as a result of his own self-improvement journey performance coaching and embracing his role as a husband and father to three boys.

Motivated by his own transformation, Patrick felt compelled to aid thousands of others in achieving similar life-altering changes. He candidly shares his journey away from alcohol and the immensely positive effects it had on his life as well as what it means to him to be a true servant leader. 

Maria reviews a Non-Alcoholic Sauvignon Blanc and leads a meditation session aimed at balancing masculine and feminine energies through breathwork.

Featured on this Episode: 

To learn more about Patrick Tromley

Reach out on Instagram - @thelevelupdad

Alcohol-Free Sauvignon Blanc: Giesen Wines

Learn more about Maria and her work at Take5.Health and subscribe to receive tips and free Guided Meditations each Wednesday. Connect with Maria on social: 
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Transcript

Maria Mayes: [00:00:00] All right, welcome back Chakras and Chardonnay listeners. I'm super excited today to introduce my guest Patrick Tromley to you. He's, uh, joined us and is going to share a little bit about his background, what he focuses on and a wellbeing tip for us. So thanks so much for joining Patrick. 

Patrick Tromley: Thank you for having me.

I'm very excited to be here. 

Maria Mayes: Yeah, so i'm excited to have you. Why don't you tell the audience a little bit about What you focus on a little bit about your journey and then we'll get into the well being tip 

Patrick Tromley: Sure, sure. So mainly what I focus on is helping people become the best versions of themselves.

Everybody has a different, different definition of that, but really I help them find their purpose and then align their thoughts, their habits and their actions with their purpose, with the goal of, like I said, creating the best version of themselves for their family, for their people and their tribe.

Right. I, I believe that it's our obligation, especially as a male, but [00:01:00] females have that as well. It's our obligation to be the best that we can for our people. Right. And so I work towards that every single day and I help my clients and my people take that positive step, try and pull out any negative habits that they have, negative behaviors, thoughts, all that kind of stuff, and really find their own value in putting in the work to become better.

Um, and the way I got into this was kind of Not weird, but I went through a similar program that to the one that I've created really because I started looking at myself in the mirror and was kind of disappointed with where I'd let myself go physically, mentally, I was pretty weak, I was selfish. I was, I like to say I was like a man child and really focused on myself instead of my wife serving my wife and my kids.

I have three boys and I kind of had an epiphany where I realized that it's not about me, right? It's about who I need to be for my family. I have three boys. I have to show them how to [00:02:00] be a real man, how to lead their family, how to love their wife, how to love their kids and really how to serve them. And that epiphany pushed me into working on myself and having gone through a program and having more revelations and really finding my purpose and having it hit home and getting fulfillment out of working on myself.

I feel obligated now to try and help as many people as I can find that same kind of feeling in alignment with their purpose. Um, but prior to that, I was in the real estate industry. I was an investor for, for a few years. I still do that on the side. I was a lender for 23 years. Um, so I spent my time in the real estate industry from the time I was 14 until I was 30 something, 33 or so, 35, maybe, I don't know.

It's been a while now. Yeah. 14. 

Maria Mayes: That's an early start. 

Patrick Tromley: Yeah. Yeah. Well, family business, obviously, uh, my mom kind of pulled me in and I started working through high school and then through college. And then when I graduated college, I went into the sales side and [00:03:00] was a wholesale bankrupt for. The majority of that time.

Um, but that, that was always about getting the next deal, trying to make more money. And I don't know about you, but every time I chase the money, it runs faster than I can catch. So it was a constant battle, a constant stressor. In the life of trying to get that next check. And really that's why I feel so passionate about helping people this way.

Now is the fulfillment that I have of really helping somebody see where they can make a couple of minor tweaks possibly and get fulfillment, re engage with their kids. I have clients send me pictures and videos of them playing with their kids when they haven't done this for six or eight months. And you just see the kid's face light up the joy they have and.

Same kind of thing with wives. They're getting more affection with their wives. They're getting closer with their wives. Um, or husbands, right? And it's, it's really fulfilling for me and that's how I know this is what I'm supposed to do, right? So that's, that's [00:04:00] why I am passionate about it. That's why I, I push so hard on myself and my people to be the best because it's not just about them.

It's really, like I said, it's about their family and who they need to be for their families. So that's, that's my driving factor. That's my, the force behind me. My. My motivation for, for doing what I do. 

Maria Mayes: I love that. Thank you for sharing that. And that's one of the reasons I was interested in having you on the show is we, I've had quite a few people who focus on more the female side of the house and her being helping women, business leaders, helping, you know, with that type of focus.

And so it's really, um, exciting to have someone focused on the, the masculine. Right. So where, where did you find yourself or what was that? That shake up moment that brought you to say, okay, yeah, I got to make some shifts here. So you said you kind of shifted because you went through a program on your, your own.

What prompted you to go into that program? 

Patrick Tromley: Looking at myself and seeing that I had gotten fat, not [00:05:00] fat, fat, but I was not at all in a healthy position. I was about 222 pounds. I was 18 or 19 percent body fat. I was squishy. And I just wasn't happy with what I was seeing and as I looked at myself in the mirror, kind of thoughts came in like, what are you doing?

What are you showing your kids? How are you? It really hit me as I was being selfish because I would eat what I wanted to eat. I wouldn't work out all that. I would only work out when I wanted to. I was more concerned with how I felt. Versus what I should be doing and how I should be acting and leading my family and, and just being the example that I want my boys to be and the example that, not the example, but the man that my wife deserves, right?

My wife is a saint. She's amazing. And I wasn't giving her everything that she deserved and I was being selfish. That's why I was calling myself a man child, right? I just was focused on myself and what made me [00:06:00] feel good and really just kind of slapped me across the face. One day I saw myself. I was, I had some rolls, like belly was kind of lopping over, starting to grow man boobs and it was just not a real pretty picture for myself.

And I just. Had to make a change. I had to do something different to be different, right? You can't keep doing the same things and expect a different result. So in order for me to become that man that I knew I needed to be for my family, I had to change a lot of things. And really it started with building discipline and at the most basic level, it's building discipline with what you put in your mouth.

And you have to be in control of what you put in your mouth and what you eat and how much you eat and the kind of stuff you're eating. And so that's where it started for me was really just kind of being disgusted with what I saw in the mirror. So it's 

Maria Mayes: interesting that as you describe all those different pieces, you know, it started from a very, the physical body, right?

But it really, as you talk about being there for your family, leading, being the example, that's all mental, right? [00:07:00] And spiritual. So how did you, how do you make that tie in from that physical to mental to spiritual in terms of, um, your own journey? And then we'll look at how you help others. 

Patrick Tromley: Sure. So I started, like you said, with the physical, right?

I wanted to improve my health. I wanted to improve how I looked and by going through that and really getting that feeling that I mentioned earlier, the feeling of being in alignment, working towards making myself better for my family, which is what it is all about. I, I had the revelation that this was God's purpose for me and by working on myself, trying to be better, not just physically, but trying to serve better.

Right? Like I believe that God calls us as men to be the servant leaders of the household. And if I'm not serving my family, I'm disobeying what God wants for me and my family. And so by. Putting my actions and thoughts and habits in alignment with what I believe God's purpose is for me. That's where it really jumped [00:08:00] from the physical side to the emotional or spiritual side.

The physical is. We use that as a tool now to really build up the mindset, right? The being disciplined with the food and following a meal plan and following a physical training plan or a workout plan is really about building the discipline and that mindset so that you will get done what you need to get done, regardless of how you feel.

And then for me, I, I bring that kind of mentality from the physical to my service role, right? As, as a husband and dad. It's not about how I feel. I have roles and responsibilities to my kids and my wife that I have to get done no matter what. And that was a big shift for me from being that little man child, like I was saying, to really being a servant leader, right?

It's not about how I feel, regardless of how I feel. I still have obligations. My kids still want to go to the park. My wife still wants me to help her in numerous ways, and she deserves that. So I need to step up for [00:09:00] her because She pours into the family all day, every day. And at the time I wasn't, it would be sporadic and we can't be unequally yoked.

So I had to step up and really fulfill. My role. And so it, like I said, it started from the physical, right? Not wanting to be what I thought was gross and by building that discipline, it opened my eyes to, Hey, you're missing here, here and here work on that. And so I, like I said, I brought the discipline from the training, from the eating into serving, serving my family and, and being that guy that I believe I need to be.

That's really 

Maria Mayes: beautiful. So for all the man, child's out there listening. 

Patrick Tromley: There's a lot of them. The more I go into this, the more guys that I talk to, there are a lot of us are like that. And that's why I think my message has resonated with a lot of people because it's easy to be selfish, right? It's [00:10:00] easy to be concerned about what you want, how you feel, and you really kind of let your responsibilities kind of fall out of your, out of your mind, right?

Out of sight, out of mind. At the end of the day, I want this because I need this, I feel this way. And when you take a step back, a lot of times it's hard to see the problem when you're in it, right? So when somebody from the outside is like, hey, look it, you're doing this. People are like, I didn't even realize it.

And it's like, okay, well, here's a path now that maybe you can take, try it and see what it does for you. And when you take steps down that path, mind gets expanded even more, right? It opens up, you're like, oh, now I see I'm missing here too. I'm missing here. And it's really. It's a cool process to go through because your eyes are open to reality instead of just your tunnel vision of what you think is life and everything.

You see that it's not just about you. It's about who you need to be. Yeah. 

Maria Mayes: That's, that's beautiful. And I do, um, I'm going to steal that, that term manchild. I like [00:11:00] that. Absolutely. But I've, I've seen in my sphere, certainly, um, a, a sort of numbing out or going unconscious. Yeah. And also in my sphere, I've seen with this movement to be real strong women. , even speaking from my personal life is that we tend to, you know, we're on this path career wise, but at the same time, we're taking the majority of the responsibility oftentimes within the home. And we're adding onto that, them being kind of the leader in the home, right? And so while In some cases has been as they're very passive and reactive to, the needs of the household versus being a, as you're saying, a servant leader and stepping up.

So why do you think that dynamic is within our culture right now? . What do you think's 

Patrick Tromley: behind that? So I think a big problem is that masculinity has been branded as toxic. And [00:12:00] there's a difference between being masculine and being a jerk, right? You don't have to be the one that is.

Oppressing, that's a better word, right? We're not here to oppress women and say, Hey, stay in the kitchen and make me food. That's not masculinity. For me, masculinity is, is fulfilling your roles and responsibilities by serving your family. And when you step into your masculine energy and your power there, it allows, at least in my experience, it allows your wife to step into her feminine power.

And those are, they're partners, right? They go together. And when one is not doing their role, so let's say the man child again, right? When he's not fulfilling all of his roles as he's supposed to, as the masculine leader, the wife has to step in and take on some of that. Take on the stuff that he's not doing and now she's not only in her feminine energy, but she also has to be [00:13:00] in her masculine energy and in my opinion, that's not women.

That's not what women were created to be or do. And so you're making them do something that is not in alignment with who they really are. And so it starts to breed resentment and it starts to breed problems and kind of issues in the relationships because The guy's not pulling his weight, right? He's not doing what he's supposed to do.

And so now she's got to step up and take on not only her roles and responsibilities, if she's a stay at home mom and housemaker, like my wife is who runs our house. Or if she is, which when I first met my wife, if she is a power woman running companies, making, you know, seven figures a year in these businesses, which I come from that, right?

My mom is the leader of my household and she was the provider, the breadwinner and the professional, um, from my house. So I grew up with that kind of experience. And I think that's one of the reasons why I am so passionate about it. For me as a, as a guy now [00:14:00] seeing my dad being at home while my mom was going out on business trips and doing all this stuff, it didn't feel right.

And. I think a lot of it is because he's not doing as I believe he should be doing right as he should be stepping up and providing so I like to say the man should provide protect and preside right you need to provide for your family not only financially but emotionally you need to be support you need to be a rock you need to be calm when the the proverbial shit is hitting the fan you have to be that rock so the family can look to you As that individual who's calm and is able to control his emotions and evaluate the subject or the situation accurately.

And then you have to provide, I said that protect mentally, physically, you need to be strong enough to be able to carry the weight of the family physically, literally. You also need to be strong enough to. Like I said, be that rock for the family when everybody's going crazy. And then presiding, you have to lead the family.

You have to step into your role as the leader of the family, as God has it set up for us, as He [00:15:00] wants. And when you're not doing one of those three, somebody has to fill that role, right? Like, there's a vacuum there and somebody needs to step into it. And when it's the wife, it creates, like I said, it creates that unbalanced, that unequally yoked relationship.

And that's never a good thing. So I'm 

Maria Mayes: curious as, um, as you go through, I really appreciate you taking us through that. And I think it's a beautiful, um, thing that you're looking to empower your family and your wife by empowering yourself by stepping into that role of really looking at, um, based on, you know, your belief system.

Okay. This is I'm providing I'm protecting, and then I'm also presiding or leading. Um, what I'm just curious, how do you respond when someone's saying, well, okay, that sounds great. But in my, my family, let's say it's two males or two females. What is the dynamic [00:16:00] different there? How, how is that addressed within the?

Patrick Tromley: Well, typically, I would think typically, sorry, typically you're still going to have a masculine and a feminine role, right? So whatever, whoever is fulfilling those roles needs to fully embrace everything that is tied to that role. All the responsibilities, all the actions that need to be done by that role should be fulfilled by that person that is scheduled for that role, that is filling that role, regardless of sex or whatever the situation may be.

Yeah, because 

Maria Mayes: we both have masculine and feminine energies within us, right? Absolutely. A big part of, I would assume, and I'll turn it into a question. Do you, do you work on that with your clients in terms of cultivating and understanding both sides and being 

Patrick Tromley: able to harness them? Okay. Absolutely. Yeah.

And, and a lot of times, I like to tell my clients the majority of [00:17:00] my clients right now are men. I do have a couple of ladies on the program that are honestly, they're killing it more than my guys are. I'm finding that the ladies are much stronger mentally than the guys are. The guys get thrown off after one little road, you know, speed bump.

It's like, oh, hands in the air and back to drinking or whatever their vice was.

So yeah, so definitely. Yeah. I definitely make it the point where. My, my male clients are aware of really how they need to serve their wife.

It, for me, it comes back to serving, right? 

Maria Mayes: Like, I think that you're tapping into that feminine energy when you're looking at that service.

Patrick Tromley: Sure. Yeah. And that's, that's what it's all about. And that's how, in my opinion, that's how you lead the family properly is you put their needs ahead of yours, ahead of your feelings. It's how can I make my wife's life easier? What can I do? What can I take off her plate so that she doesn't have to worry [00:18:00] about it?

Or how can I give my kids a little extra fun today? Can we go do something or can I get them maybe a little trinket or, you know what I mean? Something that's going to. Give them a little bit extra than, than just the, the status quo and really it does come back to serving and, and trying to be the best servant that you can and, and make really create the life that you feel your family deserves.

And you know, the standard that I have for my family and myself to try and live up to is very high. I don't know that I'll ever reach it, but my job is to work towards it and get 1 percent better every day. And as long as I do that, then I know I'm doing right. days where I don't get better, I have to look back and see what was it that stopped me from progressing?

What stopped me from making that 1 percent change for the positive? Was it my emotions? Was it how I, did I let my emotions get out of control? Did I let something affect me and then not get back on, on course? Um, so it, when you don't make that progress, it's really more of a, [00:19:00] a thought process of removal.

What do I need to remove from my life that is causing me angst or causing me not to get better? 

Maria Mayes: So what would you suggest, so if you had a well being tip to serve up to our listeners or maybe that, that listener that maybe is listening to this right now and like, oh shit, am I a man child? Like, if they're having that moment, how do we, how do you get started,

what's something they could put into play today? 

Patrick Tromley: The biggest thing, the most basic level is start with Your nutrition. It doesn't like most people don't make the logical connection there. But when you're disciplined with what you eat, how you eat, when you eat, that discipline starts to permeate into other areas of your life, right?

And then if you're able to get that, which everybody can, you can get that under control. It may not be easy, but you work at it, right? It's not going to happen overnight. It's not a snap of the fingers. It's a process. And as long as you have a [00:20:00] plan to follow, that's a big thing to trying to guess at this stuff.

Makes it very hard. Most people don't really have. a good grip of good nutrition, the food pyramid, all that kind of stuff that's come out is a lot of it is, is garbage really. It's not, I mean, when Lucky Charms are healthier than a steak, according to the last food pyramid, it's like, well, something's wrong here.

So really finding a good resource that can give you proper, accurate information on nutrition, what to eat, what kind of foods to eat. Really, you know, staying around the perimeter of a grocery store versus going into the center where the package process garbage food is those little tips like that. You know, those can be game changing for a lot of 

Maria Mayes: people.

For sure. Even just that tip with staying on the perimeter, right? So, do you have a particular nutrition plan that you typically leverage with clients? Is it customized per client or how does 

Patrick Tromley: that work? It is. It is. So, so when I went through the program, I did the macro manipulation method, right? [00:21:00] Setting up a caloric goal.

Broken down by the three main macros, protein, carbs, and fat. So that's a viable option. But over the last four months or so, I've been experimenting with fasting. Longer form fasting. One meal a day approach with a longer fasting in the middle of or beginning of the week. So I have the ability to customize a program to anybody's Desires, right?

If you want to go the macro route, I can show you how to do that. Um, but I, I personally believe now that fasting is the better way to achieve not only your physical goals, but building that mental strength as well. And that mindset up, there are so many medical benefits. Health benefits from fasting that you don't get when you go down the macro route from as little as simple as insulin sensitivity, you increase your insulin sensitivity by keeping your, uh, you're eating to one meal a day.

You keep [00:22:00] insulin low throughout the day, and then it spikes when you eat and. That is going to make you more insulin sensitive versus eating every three hours a day, having constant insulin spikes. That's part of the reason why a lot of us have become insulin insensitive or, or not as sensitive to insulin, which obviously leads down to the type two diabetes route.

And, uh, my wife has benefited from that. She is, what, how much, 25 percent Hawaiian and they a lot of times have. Issues with type two diabetes and she was pushing towards that, uh, the barrier, not the barrier, but the limit there where you go from pre diabetic to diabetic and thank you. That's for her. Um, and we've, we've brought that back.

We've made her more insulin sensitive. She's lost 30 pounds in the last two months. I've lost. about 2. 2 percent body fat. And I wasn't big. I was at 10. 4. Now I'm down to 8. 2. So there's a, there's a lot [00:23:00] of benefits and I'm learning more and more about this. The further I go into it, um, you have autophagy where the body starts to heal itself, cleans up broken DNA, broken cells, kind of puts them back in the machine to get reprogrammed and healthy again.

So I really believe that the best way to start, like you were asking initially is to start with. Building discipline when it comes to food and nutrition, and that can be your approach to that can be whatever your preference is in terms of the method that you use with nutrition, but building that baseline of discipline with nutrition is where everything else.

stems from. 

Maria Mayes: Yeah, I love that. I like the the start there because it's something that everybody can kind of put their heads around in terms of an approachable way in to maybe what's going to turn into more of a mental game than we realize, right? And so, um, and certainly with the fasting, you know, there's so much data now supporting the intermittent fasting.

Um, and also just As you mentioned, our natural [00:24:00] ability to process, right? So in the Ayurvedic perspective, which is what I leverage with my teachings and my coaching, you know, we look at you are what you digest, not just what you eat, but what you digest. And that's everything from the food to the media, to the emotions, to the traumas, all the stuff, right?

It's meant to metabolize and digest through. So for constantly putting stuff in without breaks, whether it be social media or whether it be food. We're going to have a hell of a time digesting it if we don't give those organs and systems a rest. So 

Patrick Tromley: absolutely, absolutely. Yeah. And like when the back to autophagy, like you said, the cells can't clean themselves up.

And that's a lot of times those zombie cells, as they call them, end up turning into cancer, cancer cells. So if we're constantly putting food in the machine, those cells are constantly processing that food and digesting it, like you were saying, but if we give them a break, then that's when they're able to turn on themselves and clean themselves up and really.

Get a lot of that bad stuff out of the body and kind of [00:25:00] rejuvenate. I mean, our body was designed to heal itself. We just have not allowed it to do so because of the way we've been programmed around food and eating and you have to eat every three hours and you have to eat this, this and that. And a lot of that stuff is tied back to marketing from different companies and businesses trying to sell us different foods and, and that kind of thing.

So when you, you get into where breakfast is the most important meal of the day came from and, and having bacon and two eggs all came from a guy trying to sell bacon and going to 5, 000 doctors and getting them to sign on to it. So it's, it's a lot of reprogramming when it comes to food, it can be done, right?

It's, it's can be daunting at first, but you. Like I said, 1 percent better every day. If you focus on that in everything that you do, it's not as daunting. It's not as intimidating and it's doable. If I can do it, anybody can do it. Love that. 

Maria Mayes: Love that. Yeah. So. [00:26:00] Wow, well that's all kinds of wisdom you're dropping out here.

I think it's really inspiring that you saw within yourself a need to become more tuned in to what was going on in your life, to become more tuned in to what was going on physically, mentally, and emotionally, and to be the husband and the dad that you want to be for your family. I think that's really honorable.

And I think this idea of just Starting with nutrition is great, right? So for our audience, if that resonated, if you're a man child or if you know one, or if you've got anything that's going on where you're, this inspires you to say, Hey, maybe it's time to make a shift. Uh, let's talk about where they can find you, Patrick, so they can work with you.

Patrick Tromley: Right now I'm on Instagram. Everything I do is on Instagram. Uh, my handle is at the level up dad. Okay. And I document my daily process. So I'm very process oriented because when I go through my morning process, it sets me [00:27:00] up to be the best I can for my family every day. So I document the process from wake up to my training in the morning.

I have six wins by six, I like to say, right? So I stacked those wins in the morning. Gets my mindset on point. Gets me feeling good and really ready to serve. Um, so that's, I document that and then along with some of my core values, um, my point of view on things, my teachings, I like to say, my preachings. I put all that on there.

Um, I try and provide as much value and help people through that as much as possible. I'm not really concerned or focused on making money. I want to help. I want to put out good energy. I want to put out information that I think is useful. Information that helped change me, I try and give out as much as I can.

So I, I post everything that I think is beneficial, even when I'm having issues myself, right? I have, I'm not perfect. I still have ups and downs. And when I do have a negative mindset or something negative happened to me, I post about that as well. [00:28:00] I'm trying to be transparent so that. I'm not just this ideal guy that has nothing wrong and everything's perfect.

You know what I mean? That's because that's, that's not real, right? So I try and be as real and transparent as possible and really just to provide as much value as I can. I love 

Maria Mayes: that. So everybody check out the Level Up Dad and I will put that of course in the show notes links to get ahold of you. So I've got one more question before we wrap it up and that is what type of wine do you like to mindfully enjoy if any?

Patrick Tromley: Well, I don't really drink too much anymore, but when we did, um, I like the, actually my wife, she had the choice. She would like the Santa Margarita. So a Pinot Grigio, Italian Pinot Grigio. Okay. 

Maria Mayes: Pinot Grigio. So tell me a little bit about your, uh, journey away from drinking and the benefits that that's offered you.

Patrick Tromley: I was that, that guy, that, that early twenties party [00:29:00] boy, blackout. Not remembering most of the nights, bad kind of situation to be in. Uh, got a DUI, um, really had had to change. And for a while there, I didn't see an issue. And even when I met my wife, girlfriend at the time, she. We partied together a little bit.

She wasn't crazy with it, but I had an issue with reigning it in. And at the end of the day, it was detrimental to our relationship. I would always wake up hung over and I can't stand that. And I did that until we had our first son and then waking up with a hangover when your little boys that are pulling on you at six in the morning, I couldn't do that anymore.

It wasn't right for me to. Do that to him, you know, cause when you're hung over, you don't want anything to do with anybody except for that, that nice cold tile floor. And that [00:30:00] porcelain thrown there that you're pulling dinosaurs in. So it was bad. And I just finally made the decision. It's not about me, right?

It's I have to be better for my son. I, I have to show him the right way. And so. That was really the big thing. I, I probably would have kept going longer had I not had a son then. Being hungover and having a baby and all that kind of stuff was not, not the way I wanted to live. So I made that change. And I'm not against drinking.

I'll have a beer or two every now and then. But for me, it doesn't make me better. And I try and pull out everything that's not making me better now going forward. I, I, I also believe that it's, it's detrimental to working out and getting stronger and it doesn't really help our bodies in any way. You know, it's more of a poison than anything.

So I, 

Maria Mayes: I, well, yeah, I mean, let's be real alcohol is a poison, period, it's a 

Patrick Tromley: toxin. It's not. Exactly. [00:31:00] So I, from the health perspective. It's not hard for me anymore to be like, I'm, I'm okay to pass on a drink. Um, but every now and then in social occasions, right. I'll still have a beer or two. I'll have a drink.

My, my drink. I used to drink vodka on the rocks with two olives. That was, that was mine. And so every now and then I'll have one, not like six or eight. Like I used to, I've, I've been able to reign that in. 

Maria Mayes: Yeah. There's, I hear a lot of mindfulness in that, in that. You know, you're aware of how it made you feel crappy right after and you're aware of it being a slippery slope, right?

Um, for those of us who've been on the tile floor, been, been there, done that. And so I love that, that you're coming at it now from not a strict, you know, absolutely exclusive approach, but which for some people that's okay, for others that cannot happen. You have to be completely, um, without any, but to be able to dabble.

Um, I think it's important to be mindful of how you're feeling in the moment and whether or [00:32:00] not it's going to make you feel better or not. I think that's key. If it doesn't make you feel better, why the hell are you doing it? 

Patrick Tromley: Right, right. And I get up pretty early, so if I do drink, it makes that process even harder.

I mean, I'm up at 3. 15 every day, so if I drink it all into I try to go to bed by 9 o'clock. So anything beyond that is Makes my morning hard and my morning is the most important thing for my day. Because like I said, it sets me up to be the best I can for my family. So again, it ties back to service, right?

If I'm drinking. Maybe I can handle it at that night, but then the next morning, I'm not able to perform as well as I should be. And so I have to remove that because that's more important. Performing and serving my family is more important than me feeling good in that moment, having a couple drinks with buddies or whatever it might be.

I 

Maria Mayes: love that. From man child to servant leader, right? That's 

Patrick Tromley: that's the goal, right? 

Maria Mayes: I love that. Thank you so much for being on Patrick. It's really been a joy and listeners All the goodness will [00:33:00] be in the show notes. And uh, yeah, let's keep it mindful. So thanks 

Patrick Tromley: so much Thank you