Out Here Tryna Survive
This podcast is a trauma-informed, hope-oriented, safe space. It is a warm hug of solidarity for Black women 35+. It is a celebration of our resilience thus far & our determination to not only survive but THRIVE.
Join me, Grace Sandra, a Mama, author, advocate/activist, storyteller, for some good ole self-love shenanigans.
We are braver than we believe✨
Out Here Tryna Survive
Ep 21: Thinking about Quiet Quitting America?
Black women across America are drawing boundaries and prioritizing self-care as they "quiet quit" a country that has historically demanded their emotional labor while offering little in return. This revolutionary act of self-preservation represents a profound shift in how Black women approach their relationship with America.
• Recognizing the roots of the "strong Black woman" trope and its harmful impact
• Setting personal boundaries about which battles to fight and which to pass on
• Deciding in advance when to speak up against injustice without sacrificing personal wellbeing
• Creating space for healing by intentionally seeking out Black spaces and community
• Replacing activism burnout with meaningful self-care practices like meditation and journaling
• Challenging the expectation that Black women must be America's saviors and caretakers
• Prioritizing friendships with other Black women as a source of understanding and validation
• Setting small, realistic personal goals instead of carrying the burden of fixing society
We are not this country's mammy, point blank and period. Subscribe to my YouTube channel called "Out Here Trying to Survive" and follow me on all socials with the same name. Please leave a review on Apple Podcasts!
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Are Black women quiet quitting America? Are we quiet quitting America? It kind of seems like it, y'all. It kind of seems like it. People have been talking about quiet quitting for a while, but when it applies to America and all of the tomfoolery going on right now, black women are taking on a whole new meaning.
Speaker 1:I saw a tweet from Jessie Wu the other day Wait, let me see if I can find it real quick. It was a well, not a tweet, I should say it was a. It was a a thread girl. Let me turn my volume down so I can see if I can find it, but while I look for it, she basically said like I love seeing all the images from the protest and not seeing black women there because black women are taking a mofo seat. And I was like, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm quietly opting out in some ways to, primarily for my survival and also because I don't have the fight in me like I used to.
Speaker 1:So quiet quitting. You know, you might be like, oh God, a work topic. I'm not talking about a work topic. I'm talking about a life topic for black American women in particular, about quiet quitting this country because y'all, we tired, we tired. This is a little different because this time I'm talking a little bit more about boundaries, about burnout and really prioritizing our wellness. So you know, grab your tea, grab your wine, grab your coffee, your latte, your cappuccino or your dirt nasty green matchas that y'all be drinking just disgusting. I wish I could like it. I know it's healthy, I know it's good for people with ADHD. I can't like it y'all. I keep trying, I keep trying it with different flavors and I just it's literally not my cup of tea and I can't force myself. I have to have boundaries. Just kidding, I totally used that word wrong.
Speaker 1:Before we get started, let me introduce myself and the podcast. My name is Grace Sandra. I'm an author, an activist, an advocate, a mom and a lover of all things Black women. This podcast is a hope-oriented storytelling space. A warm hug of solidarity from me to you. It is a celebration of our resilience and our determination to not only survive but to thrive. Welcome to episode 21. But to thrive, welcome to episode 21.
Speaker 1:First, let me tell you all a story. One thing I love about social media is that the more you get deeper into Black women's spaces, you find that Black women are giving away so much emotional labor and saying, telling our stories in so many different ways, whether it's like literally in the actual, literal Instagram stories or if it's in the feed on threads on Substack, or if you're not on Substack, follow me on Substack at out here thriving. But I'm just finding, the more I look into the journey that black women are on we are sharing so much of our battles and our journey and I'm finding that it's a silent battle that many Black women are fighting, but it's actually not as silent as you think it would be and that's the fight to reclaim our time and reclaim our peace and reclaim our sanity. I think we are so often expected to be superheroes and if you're not a Black woman, this might go over your head, you might not understand that dynamic because you, frankly, just haven't lived it. But it is an expectation that we will always help, that we will always provide, that we will always caretake, that we will always place others in front of ourselves. It's a unspoken, I don't know, like cultural norm that kind of gets built into our psyche from a really young age and it's really sad. It's really sad, but I remember thinking that, even though I myself was raised in a white family but I was raised in a black neighborhood, so I was getting differing messages from, like, the neighborhood and my, my godparents, who are black, but my actual parents, my mom was white, my dad was black, but he really wasn't teaching me anything. But anyway, I think the overall message that we get is something that is not just oh hey, you grow, you're grown, now you should help. It's something that is literally embedded in us from when we're younger. It's in our programming.
Speaker 1:The message a lot of times that black women get is that we are expected to go above and beyond, without extra pay, without proper compensation, sometimes without even a thank you or even respect. We often have to be, you know, better than everyone else to get not even as far or make nearly as much money. So we're, you know, kind of conditioned to overwork ourselves, conditioned to break those boundaries, conditioned to push past what's healthy. And if you're there, you know that it can lead to a lot of resentment, a lot of contempt towards the people around you, your family, people you even really love and care about and who really love and care about you. But they've pushed you too far and it can really take a serious toll on our mental health and our physical health and, if you're not aware of this, black women have higher rates of every we are impacted and have higher rates of everything negative that could ever happen to a woman in her body. We have higher rates of it, and part of that is the stress that we carry. Part of that is the unique pressures that we face. Part of that is this damn trope that won't go away of the strong Black woman. Part of that is having to constantly justify our presence. Part of that is because we ourselves are not creating boundaries that we should, and I am guilty.
Speaker 1:I always say on this podcast and everywhere. I always say I'm never going to just sit up here and tell you something that I haven't either struggled with or worked really hard at or tried to overcome. I work really hard to try to overcome the messaging that I got as a kid that still impacts my life today, and this is one of them. So when I used to work for college students, I worked for a campus ministry called InterVarsity Christian Fellowship and we used to do a ton of things around race teaching students about racism, teaching white students about white privilege, teaching white students about white shame, teaching students just in general how to come together and reflect what the image of God sorry, what the kingdom of God is, which is something that is filled with all people from every land and every tongue and every nation. And I'm not going to talk about what I was teaching because I have mixed feelings, real bad about what I did, but this is the part that I want to focus on is that I was expected, often as one of the only black staff on the team that I was on here in West Michigan and, and sometimes at large and just Michigan in general, with the, with the entire Michigan team, I was often expected to be a voice for Black people and the voice of Black people in certain rooms and certain crowds.
Speaker 1:I was often expected to teach white students what they could and couldn't say. I was often expected to help white students work through the guilt and the shame that they felt once they finally learned a little emoticum of history. I was basically put on the chopping block for the training of white college students, some of them who were eager to learn, but some of them weren't, and there was something that kind of triggered a change for me. It was we were doing a training with University of Wisconsin Whitewater students. I feel like I brought up these students and they keep coming up because we were. Michigan is close to Wisconsin, so sometimes we do trainings with them and Wisconsin that's a whole other place than Michigan in terms of like how they view and see race. I only ever dealt with the white students from Wisconsin, so forgive me, if you're from Wisconsin or you went to University of Wisconsin Whitewater, all I knew was y'all white students. I didn't know about the black students because they were always coming to Michigan for our trainings. So I feel like this is the second time I brought them up. Somebody's going to be like what do you have against University of Wisconsin-Whitewater? Literally nothing. But they did provide some real memorable experiences.
Speaker 1:But something that was life changing for me was one time we were doing like a racial reconciliation training or something and one of the white students just came to me and just said we're walking. I remember we were like walking on our way to like the lunch building and she was like Grace, you know, when I'm singing along to a song, am I allowed to say the N word with a hard R? And she said it. She said the. She literally said the N word with a hard R and I was like now, what damn song do you know says the N word with a hard R? Because like, yeah, we know N-I-G-G-A's and a lot of songs and raps etc. But I don't think I've ever and can't really place any song. It almost was like she just wanted to say it and she just wanted to get a reaction out of me and it really hurt my feelings. I really didn't want to hear it.
Speaker 1:I grew up hearing the n-word from a lot of white people Because y'all, I'm oh okay, I was born in 76, so I lived through the 80s and white people were the racist, was just saying they was just saying it. I mean, maybe, maybe the race has been saying it all along, but I heard it quite a lot from white people and it was nobody ever wants to hear it out of a white person's mouth. I just, I was younger than two. It was very frustrating. So anyway, but that was one of the last times I was like I can't do it no more. It's not just University of Wisconsin, whitewater students, it's all y'all, motherfuckers. Like it's all y'all. I can't do it no more.
Speaker 1:I don't want to work with white students anymore. I don't want to train white students anymore. I don't want to teach white students to get through white guilt and white shame. I don't want to help them deal with their white guilt and white shame. I don't want to teach them about white privilege. I just don't want to do it anymore. It's too painful.
Speaker 1:That was the first time I think I ever really expressed a boundary, after maybe six or seven or eight years of training, of working with white students and I wasn't only working with white students doing these trainings Like a lot of times it was like a room with everybody. But if you're a black person in America and you're trying to help white people have a modicum of understanding about what's happening in this country and how it's impacting everybody, you're going to deal with like a lot of bullshit. And so I just dealt with a lot of shit and I was done with it. It was the first time that I ever kind of quiet quit Although I guess maybe I had been quiet quitting for a long time. But it was finally me saying y'all can't have my heart anymore, y'all can't have this part of me anymore at all.
Speaker 1:I was feeling a very, very, very deep exhaustion and you might relate with that, I think, at that time for me also. I was feeling the weight both professionally and personally. I was actually married to a white man at that time and while he was already an ally, he was a firm ally. He didn't need no explaining, he had already gone through all of this as a student, so that actually wasn't an issue for us, but it was waiting on me. It was a weight on me, I should say the weight of societal expectations in general on Black women. But the fact that we were working together and that he was white, we were trying to fight systemic racism in some way together, in some ways. That's kind of a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1:But more of the emotional labor is always going to fall on the black person in a marriage where you're black and white and I'm not trying to talk about interracial marriage right now because, honestly, my ex and I we had so many issues Like if we had 15 issues, let's say that led to our demise. I wouldn't even actually list race as one of them. I wouldn't even. Actually, we just had, so we just were not compatible people. Okay, race was something that was pretty neutral for us actually, but when there was emotional labor, that had to be done, when there was understanding that needed to be done. It was me that fell on me to explain to him, to help him figure it out. I don't know how much that actually played into the frustration that I was feeling when I, kind of quiet, quit training University of Wisconsin Whitewater students.
Speaker 1:I wish now that I had the questions and the access and the information that I do now, so I could have said how is this really impacting my mental health and what can I do differently? Not that I would have kept doing it, but what can I do differently to address what's going on in my life without blowing up? Because, like, what actually happened is that I just blew up. I did actually just literally blow up, I imploded.
Speaker 1:And I think for a lot of black women there is like that turning point event, like something will happen and you'll be like, oh my God, like I, I can't do this anymore. And I think that this election is what's done it for a lot of Black women Like we, we tried, we tried, we tried to get Kamala elected. We tried. And I think this is a real turning point moment for us and it's okay not to be okay. I just want to say that, like it's really okay not to be okay. It's really okay to get to that point where you're like, yeah, I can't do this anymore. This is really blown up and I don't know if I can continue to be a part of helping America heal, because it doesn't seem like we're healing at all. It just seems like we're getting worse.
Speaker 1:And now when I look back at everything I did with those University of Wisconsin Whitewater students all those kids now that was, like you know, between the year 2001 and 2009 or 10, you know all those kids and sadness and heaviness and stress that I felt, trying to help them to come home to themselves that should have never been my role. Did it have an impact? I don't know. I literally don't know. It makes me feel like, why did I do that? Why did I sacrifice myself on the altar of trying to help white kids understand not to be racist? I don't know.
Speaker 1:But I think we need to move from, like, the problem to where we are now, because where I'm at now is so much different. Like right now, I am about what do I need to do to live at peace every day? I'm about how can I still be educated and share information and live at peace? How can I set my boundaries without guilt? How can I keep myself from being afraid of repercussions? By still living and being the person who I want to be? Because I'm still an advocate and an activist. That's still who I am in my core and I've known that since I was a very young child, that, if nothing else, who I am at my core is an advocate and an activist.
Speaker 1:So I don't feel good me personally about bowing out fully. Now other people and I've heard other black women say they are bowing out fully, they don't want to be a part of this shit, no more. And I say that is your journey, do you? I want you to pursue peace, literally. Please pursue peace, and I feel like it starts with self-awareness, because you have to know where you're at and what you're OK with and what you're not going to end up regretting later. You know you don't want to 10 years to go by and be like damn. I wish I had been on the front lines, I wish I had said more, I wish I had done more. And you also don't want 10 years to go by and be like damn. I wish I had just focused on my piece. I wish I had just focused on my degree. I wish I had just focused on my marriage or my kid or whatever you know also don't want that to happen, and everything in between. So I do think that self-awareness is really important.
Speaker 1:As we look at this battle, like it's too big, like Shit is falling all the way apart and I'm not even going to list specifics because we all know what they are I think that we need to number one, have a strong sense of what our non-negotiables are. What are we willing and not willing to do at this point? What are we willing and not willing to compromise on? One of the things that I decided is that I'm right now, just for right now, not ever, but for right now I'm not willing to go to protest. I'm just not willing right now, not this is not not ever, because I really believe in the power protest, but right now I'm not going and I'm not taking my daughter, I'm not taking my kids. I have been to many protests before. I've taken my kids to many protests before, but right now I'm not willing to risk me or my kids getting hurt for this situation, and when I say right now, I mean I'm not even saying through 2025.
Speaker 1:You might see me at a protest in the fall, okay, but I mean literally right now. I think maybe this summer is kind of where my heart is at I haven't fully decided, but that's a non-negotiable for me in terms of being a black woman. Help America, heal. Help America, heal again. So I am learning to respectfully know my limits and I think that that's. You know. This is applicable to all manner of thing, but especially as we're looking at the fact that this country is like going down so quickly and that fascism is taking over so quickly.
Speaker 1:So, for example, another thing is um, I decided that if I were ever out and an ICE agent tried to take someone, that I would. I would try to intervene, like that is a non-negotiable for me, but your non-negotiable might be like, yeah, I'm not to do that. So I was actually going to. I went to Miami in January was that January or February? It was early February and I decided that if something happened on the plane, I would speak up. And something did happen on the plane. I almost feel like I manifested that situation. But, yeah, there was this autistic girl and I only mentioned that because she mentioned it. But I was sitting in a row, I was in the aisle seat and then you know short little space, then the other aisle seat and there was an Indian guy, like South Asian. He looked like he was from India. He did not. He was not presenting as if he was Indian American. He looked like he was literally from India and didn't even speak the language I don't know. He just looked like he was not from Miami.
Speaker 1:Okay, anyway, and we were boarding and as we were boarding, the girl who was sitting next to him stood up and she yelled back at the all the way to the flight attendant who was at the back of the plane and we were in like row, you know 16 out of 40 or something. So she back, is this flight full? She said it just like that, and he was like what? And she was like is this flight full? And he was like yes, why, why are you yelling? Because it was.
Speaker 1:It was awkward as hell. Everybody was looking like girl, what is you doing? Like, because you know it's kind of quiet, like a quiet murmur when the plane is boarding, and so it was just so awkward, and so she was like this fucking guy next to me smells like curry. He smells like curry, he's emanating curry, and we were just like oh my God. And he was just looking down, he wasn't looking up there. That's why I was like wondering if he even understood what she was saying. I don't know, because he didn't look up, he didn't look embarrassed, he didn't look angry, he just looked completely neutral. He was just looking down. He wasn't on a device or anything. And I was looking at him and I was feeling so bad and I was like Grace, you already decided that you were going to step in if something happened.
Speaker 1:I thought maybe it would be an ice agent situation, but I was just like well, I, I said I would step in. So it's like what's? I was like what is the problem? Why are you? What's going on? And I was trying to take it down, because me, you know, we were all in the same row and she was just like I'm autistic and I have sensory issues. And he's just like he has this fragrance of curry. It's just so strong, oh my God. And I was like okay, but you don't have to keep going on and on about it.
Speaker 1:And so, like right, when I said that, the flight attendant from the back was like just come back here, just come back here. And she was like yeah, I need to switch seats. This is fucking ridiculous. This guy is just emanating curry. And I was like you don't have to go on and on about it, okay.
Speaker 1:So she got up and left, but she, while she was leaving, she was like so she stepped over him and then she was standing right next to me in the aisle and she was like I'm autistic. Okay, I was just, and I didn't say anything more, but I was great. I was like girl, autism does not make you racist. Boo, like it don't, it just don't. And I was like, okay, well, just go, just go then. So she left and then, like, once the plane took off, I heard the flight attendant say to him like hey, I'm so sorry that happened to you, I'm so sorry. And I was like I'm sorry too, I'm really sorry. It was just awful to see. But anyway, it was a very small example of me deciding beforehand that I was going to Address any racism that happened or anything that happened while I was in miami. It's crazy, because another crazy thing happened while I was there, like just so many fucking crazy things happened.
Speaker 1:Yeah, while I was there, someone got murdered in the hotel I was at on the last night, right before I was about to go to the airport and like full on I mean, I don't know if there were ICE agents, but like fully, whatever it is a full tactical team was there and like with big giant rifles and dogs, there was like 50 of them. They were storming the hallways. I had to come out with my hands up. They searched my room. It was scary, y'all. It was really scary. There wasn't anything that I like needed to do to like try to defend someone or anything like that, but I don't know. I feel like went to Miami just to get a little sun and encountered the wild, wild fucking west while I was there. It's just a lot going on. It was a lot going on. I was so happy to leave. I have never been so happy to leave Miami in my life. It was just not what I was thinking it was going to be. It didn't. Miami did not give what I was hoping it would give, y'all.
Speaker 1:Anyway, I do think these kind of things are good to decide beforehand, like decide beforehand when and what are you going to say no to If you're out and about, depending on where you live, and you see ICE agents trying to take someone. I do think it's a good idea to decide are you going to do something or not? Don't wait till the moment, decide. Is that something you're willing to do? Are you, are you quiet? Quit in America, and and trust me, I'm there is no judgment. Either way, I feel like you've got to have self-awareness, boo, and you do what you feel like you need to do, and I've already decided I'm going to stand in between someone's life being irrevocably changed by being kidnapped by the orange demon, orangutans, directives to have people forcibly removed from this country. It's just, it's overwhelming. It's overwhelming.
Speaker 1:I have also decided whether or not I'm going to practice assertiveness, in which situations I've already and always will defend women who are out, especially if they are in a situation where they are vulnerable with other men, and I love that women nowadays are deciding that beforehand. And so, yeah, actually, even just the other day, just last night, I went to a club and I was meeting a guy up there and me and the girls were talking and one of them was like oh, my god, I'm meeting, I, I'm meeting someone too, for the first time, and I was like do you happen to have a mentor, piece of gum and I was like I totally forgot. And um, so she gave me one. She was like, girl, you're looking good. And she was like, listen, we're going to be right over there If you meet him and there's any issues here for you too? We had literally just met, we'd literally just met and it was just like. I love that women are. I love that we're having this kind of camaraderie about safety and protecting each other. Lately it just feels like I'm seeing that everywhere. That's another way that we can just decide, and I have. I decided that a long time ago. I mean, I again, I think this is something black women just do ordinarily already.
Speaker 1:But I do think it's important for us to know when and what situations are we going to advocate for. Like, for example, if there was a dog getting beaten, I'm not going to advocate for the dog. I'm just not going to put myself in that situation. Some people would, some people would, and more power to you. If that's your thing, do it. But I've already decided that's not my place. I'm not putting myself in that level of danger to protect a dog, and I love dogs, I love cats and I wouldn't protect a cat over a situation where I could be in danger by trying to protect a cat from falling off a roof or burning in a building. Like it's your time, boo, I'm sorry but it's your time. Um, it's not my time to to die a hero trying to save a cat. Okay, it's just not. I've decided my boundary, I've decided.
Speaker 1:I also think we need to decide beforehand. I mean a lot of everything I'm suggesting about how to live in this administration, deciding if you're quiet, quitting. I do think we have to decide, like, what is going to be our self-care, what are we going to focus on? And we have to do those things. One thing that I'm doing this year y'all that I am so excited about is I am being very, very, very intentional to get in Black spaces.
Speaker 1:Now I live in Kalamazoo, michigan. It's not Atlanta, it's not Detroit, it's not Chicago, so finding all black spaces is challenging. I could go to church. I don't want to go to church. Church is one of the places that there are all black spaces. In Kalamazoo, there's one in particular I used to go to, but they are not affirming of the LGBTQIA community and I'm just not going to be part of any church community that does not affirm and celebrate my LGBTQIA family. So I'm not going there, but I did decide that that's one way that I am going to heal myself and be a part of the healing journey of my family. But, yeah, I did decide that that's something that's really important to me is being sure, just being sure, that I'm in all black spaces. So, or majority black spaces. So, like I joined a hip hop kettleball class, I'm going to be part of a writing community.
Speaker 1:If we had like, if there were cycling groups that were all black or or even mostly black, or like runners groups, I would do that, and I haven't never cycled I used to be a runner but I haven't run, uh, consistently for a long time but I would join those spaces. But those spaces, especially in Kalamazoo, are typically very, very white. Um, I went to a vision boarding, uh kind of like seminar slash activity day that was all black women and it was so healing, it was so wonderful. And it's so funny. It's because when I was leaving I heard like this, I heard like this drumming right. I was like, oh, what's that? Because it wasn't like a big factory building where there's a lot of like cool, artsy, fartsy stuff going on. So I go over to the room and I peek in and I'm sorry, I'm laughing. It was all white people on like the, the what do they call? Like the djembe drums or whatever they were doing like African beats. That's why it was funny, because I'm like Kalamazoo is so freaking white, so freaking white. I mean, obviously, some of the other all-black spaces are like clubs and bars. We do have a really nice cocktail lounge that is like black owned, but it's just an example.
Speaker 1:I'm just trying to give examples for healing, for quiet, quitting in a way that is actually it's not just because this is what I'm trying to challenge us to do. I'm not trying to just challenge us to quiet, quit America and you know, watch Netflix, which no judgment if you do but like, quiet, quit America and don't feel like you need to be part of America's healing journey, but do something that like fulfills you too. While you're doing that, like, what are you replacing it with? You know what I'm saying? Like we before we were just trying to do everything we could Like I know a lot of Black women, including myself, that mobilized around Kamala.
Speaker 1:I mean I did it to an extent and then once she wasn't standing up for GAZA enough, I was kind of like pulling back. I still voted for her, but I wasn't as excited because I do think that the is horrific and I don't support it, so I didn't like that at the end. But my whole point is is that there was a lot of rallying and now the opposite of that is happening. So we're not rallying, we're not pushing anymore. So what are we doing? And I just want to be sure that I'm emphasizing replace it, replace your rallying with something like specific activities that bring you joy, like getting in black spaces, like that's.
Speaker 1:One of my priorities is continuously prioritizing the black women in my life in particular and getting in black spaces. And also, in addition to that, it's being sure that I am continuing to pursue my friendships with black women so that I am having a place where I feel completely understood and don't have to explain myself, and that's a really I just I feel like that's a hard dynamic for a lot of black women I know personally. Yeah, it's one of these weird things that I'm saddened about black women, about how often so many of us feel so betrayed by women that we don't pursue those friendships enough. And it's just so sad to me and I get it at the same time, and I feel like when we've been hurt, we do need to take breaks and things like that. But I think that our healing is going to come through these relationships with black women. So if you're a black woman who's been hurt by other black women and you kind of want to throw your hands up and be like, well, I'm not really a girl's girl or whatever, I just want to encourage you to pursue some healing on that. Maybe go to therapy and keep looking for black women friendships in your life, please. Yeah, I'm always going to suggest two things. There's two things y'all know I'm always going to suggest.
Speaker 1:I've brought it up a million times on every platform but number one is meditation. Meditation has been one of the most healing things in my life. It's helped me manage stress in such a huge way. It's played such a big part in helping me to stay present in my body, which has played such a big part in me learning to manage my vulnerabilities, from everything from learning and healing, from having a very high anxious attachment style to learning how to cope with being someone whose ADHD got much, much worse in perimenopause, to practicing mindfulness, which has helped me just in general, as a human to be a healthier human. Meditation is so beautiful and so life changing and there's so many things about it I would love to do. Actually, I should do a whole episode on just meditation, learning about it, practices, because it's just, it's a gift, it's a gift and there are so many studies that show how beautiful meditation is. So if that's not part of your quiet quitting, if you're, if you're replacing going to protest with just Netflix again no judgment. But might I suggest, if you're not gonna go to protest or whatever girl, then meditate.
Speaker 1:And one of my favorite meditation teachers or not, well, not teachers, but someone who talks a lot about meditation is Dr Joe Dispenza and he has on his website and I think I'm going to buy it. I've been kind of holding out, holding out, but he has a walking meditation. It's supposed to be like a walk to heal the earth meditation and I will link it in the show notes, but I heard him talking about on a podcast. It's basically like a walking meditation. A lot of people do it once and the prompts is basically like trying to move our energy towards healing the earth and all of its problems. Not not the actual earth, I think. Well, maybe it is actually I don't know because I've never heard it, but I think it's about the people that occupy the earth. But it is a heal. The people heal the earth meditation, the people that occupy the earth, but it is a heal. The people heal the earth meditation. But I've done some of his other meditations. I have actually bought them and I do walk while I listen to them and it is a very healing, restorative activity.
Speaker 1:So if that's not one of the ways that you replace your quiet, quitting baby, what are you doing with your life? And then the other thing that I'm always going to talk about is journaling. Journaling is such a great way to get your thoughts out. There's a lot of studies that show if you journal even for one minute a day, it can impact your mental health. One minute, girl. Everybody has one minute.
Speaker 1:I use this app on my phone called Little Memory and I know that written journaling is typically, they say, better for you. But I actually use this app and it just gives you like a little box for every day and you just put in one or two things and I usually actually use voice to text and I just voice to text and journal what happened that day what I want to remember something that was significant, something I saw something, I heard something. I felt my anger towards someone. Something I heard something. I felt my anger towards someone or I just sometimes it's just like my love and appreciation, how much I love my kids, or gratitude for my cat snuggling up to me when I took a nap and I felt less alone. I mean, like it covered my mind, pretty much cover everything.
Speaker 1:I'm on now the 10th year. They just sent me a message that said, like, congratulations, you just finished like your 10th year of using little memory, and I was just like, oh my gosh, and I have. Oh, let me see, I really, really want to see now because I'm kind of proud of myself for this y'all. Okay, it shows you at the last page, okay, so, yeah, you, you obviously can't see this, but this is proof. It says my memories. I have 1,876 memories over the last 10 years. 81 of them are photo memories, because you can just put in a picture for the day. 25 of them are my favorites. The longest streak I ever had was 86 days in a row. My streak right now is only two days. My first memory was December 11 2014. So that was actually 11 years ago. That's dope, okay. Anyway, I love this app and it's.
Speaker 1:I try to follow the science of it one minute a day, but I usually do journal in other places and I also do scripting, which is a manifestation technique. But I'm always going to tell y'all y'all better meditate and y'all better journal. If it's nothing else that you do in the world, meditate and journal. Okay, please, and thank you. And this last one is just a question I have for you what are your small realistic goals for the year? I decided, you know, like I said, that I was going to quite quit America a little bit, and I'm replacing that with just a few goals. One of them is to graduate this year, to get my degree. Um, I, you know, I've already been in this journey for two and a half years, so, so it's not like I'm like, hey, I'm going to get a master's degree and then have it by the end of this year, but I'm on the journey already, so I'm hoping that that is the beautiful conclusive ending. So, yeah, what are the small realistic goals that you can set for yourself?
Speaker 1:To in some ways distract in the best way, in the best way that you can use the word, distract from what's going on and just kind of tuning out in some ways the idea that you are the savior of America and that we are going to be able to heal it with sheer effort alone of black women. Like I just don't want it for us. It's really. It's really a shift, a mindset shift, even for me. Like I know, I just don't even want that for us. I don't want to say black women saved America because we put our lives and our bodies and our families and our children and our marriages and everything else on the line to try to stop this fascist regime. Like I'm really ready for this evil ass country that elected that evil ass demon or orange orangutan to stand up and take responsibility for the decision, for the fact that they stole land and stole people. And we're in this position because capitalism is still prioritized and now oligarchy is here and fascism is being prioritized.
Speaker 1:And I just want the 300 million or however many white people there are in America to be the one to take down the regime, and black women don't have to do it. It's a simple request. It's a simple request. I just want us to have the peace and joy and fulfillment that we deserve. I just want us to have the small victories that we meditated every day, that we went on a healing, restorative, meditative walk to heal the planet, that we are surrounding ourselves with our black women, friends who understand us and understand our experiences, and we can let our hair down and take our wig off and not have to explain ourselves to anyone, that we are creating safe spaces and that we are honoring our boundaries. I want those things for us, I want those things for me and I'm really willing to fight for it more than I ever have, and maybe it's a result of my big age and my late 40s and I'm like I'm just ready now. I'm just really, really fucking ready to do something different.
Speaker 1:If you haven't't yet and reading is one of the things that you are replacing quiet, quitting america with I do have a book called grace, actually memoirs of love, faith loss and black womanhood. It is available on amazon. You can get this hard copy like this or you can get it in pdf form and if you get that, please leave me a review on on amazon. I want to see you win. I want to see us all win. We deserve that. We really do. We, of all people deserve that.
Speaker 1:I appreciate you being here on this journey with me. You could be anywhere, but you're here with me and I thank you so much. If you enjoyed this podcast and you're not subscribed to my YouTube channel, please subscribe to my YouTube channel, called out here trying to survive. You can follow me on all the socials at the same name and please leave me a review on apple podcasts. We are going to get through this, but it's not by having a savior complex. So please be you, don't do too much, don't betray your intuition and just know we are not this country's mammy, point blank and period. I'll see y'all in the next episode. Bye.
