Krystel Clear

Embracing Chaos

• Krystel Beall

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Returning home from a serene yoga retreat in Italy only to face the turmoil of back-to-back hurricanes in Sarasota was not what I anticipated. Yet, navigating through this whirlwind of emotions taught me invaluable lessons in gratitude and resilience. During this episode of Krystel Clear, I recount the emotional journey of facing illness and natural disasters, and how grounding practices like cacao ceremonies and detox sessions offered solace amidst the chaos. Together, we explore the delicate balance between embracing life's unpredictability and finding peace in the simplest of things.

Discover how a missing salad became a metaphor for the pressure to remain strong, and the importance of allowing myself to feel. From infrared detox sessions to the pressures of an election year, we dive into the various ways of regulating our nervous systems and fostering a more positive political climate. Through personal anecdotes, I emphasize the necessity of emotional release and the role of self-care rituals in maintaining joy and physical health, even when faced with life's ups and downs.

Inspired by "The Four Agreements," I reflect on the significance of authenticity and staying true to myself. Compliments and criticisms alike can be compelling, yet true empowerment lies in self-belief and living authentically. This episode also chronicles my journey of coping with illness and celebrating community resilience during challenging times. To wrap up, I share a spontaneous soapbox venting session, promising future episodes filled with engaging topics and exciting guests. Join me on this episode as I open up about raw, real-life experiences and celebrate the beauty of collective resilience.


Thank you for joining me today. Please know that this podcast and the information shared is not to replace or supplement any mental health or personal wellness modalities provided by practitioners. It’s simply me, sharing my personal experiences and I appreciate you respecting and honoring my story and my guests. If something touched your heart please feel free to like, share and subscribe. Have a beautiful day full of gratitude, compassion and unconditional love.

Speaker 1:

What's up you guys? Welcome to this episode of Crystal Clear. Holy shit, we've had a lot of life going on lately and I honestly don't even know where to begin. I think I'll begin with today, a real-life example of real life. So I'm super excited to film today. I booked like two hours, I had all this stuff planned.

Speaker 1:

I took this beautiful yoga intuition retreat in Italy for 10 days, came home, got very ill, like sick, like pneumonia-esque, and then we got hit with two hurricanes here in Sarasota and it's just been really heavy, a lot of like heavy energy. And I think for me I was almost grateful that I had a reason to slow down during the hurricanes, or I probably would have really like lost it. But I mean, if you think about it, a community getting hit with two hurricanes back to back you're in survival mode. Like, even if you're a super fearless person like you, when your home is being threatened, when you're watching devastation going on in your community, it really hits close to home. So today actually yesterday was a full moon, so the full moon in October. Actually yesterday was a full moon, so the full moon in October, beautiful moon. I did this whole cacao ceremony on releasing and sound bath and all of this woo-woo stuff and which I love and kind of just brings me back to my my center grounded happy place.

Speaker 1:

Took a sunrise walk this morning, dropped my son off at school and went for a detox at Purify, which is this awesome infrared sauna blanket wrap place that we have. So you're legally on a bed, you wrap up in this infrared blanket. It's an awesome full body detox. Jumped into the cold plunge, went home. I was going to eat lunch and come film my podcast and I opened the refrigerator door and I had prepped two salads yesterday and they weren't there and I was like where's my salad? So I called my husband and I'm like babe, did you take the salads that were in the fridge? He's like oh yeah, I'm sorry, hon, do you want me to bring one home? I only ate one of them. I wasn't thinking and just fucking tears start streaming down my face Like what is going on. So clearly my nervous system is not quite regulated yet, or I'm feeling this full moon energy and I just needed a good cry, or maybe I just really set an expectation to come home and eat that salad. I mean, there's a whole laundry list of things packed into that and I almost called and texted and canceled podcasting today. But I'm like you know what Fuck it? That is what this is all about.

Speaker 1:

It's about the real raw life adventures of it's okay to not be okay all the time and even though I feel okay on the outside which I genuinely do I'm feeling much better. I get my energy back. I had this disgusting cough and it finally went away. I felt pretty positive and energized about everything. Despite, you know, I've been able to like shift a lot of the things to gratitude because we were very fortunate and didn't lose a lot of the hurricane, although I'm doing disaster relief grants for our company and so looking at other people's devastation daily it pulls on your heartstrings and for an empathetic person like myself, it's heavy. So I really felt like I was really trying my best to cleanse my energy and just stay grounded and despite all of that, I still cried over a fucking salad, but that's okay. So I'm here today to unravel the past month because that's how long it's been, I think, since I filmed a podcast and just talk about what has gone on in life to lead up to this point and to just own it, because I feel like that's a lot of what this podcast is for me is my way to express and share with you guys my real life experiences, to make you feel heard, seen, understood all the things. So I'll reel it in and back it up. We'll start with the fluffy stuff, the fun stuff.

Speaker 1:

So I was proposed with the opportunity to go to Italy. My girlfriend and I met in Rome. I had a couple of days by myself. Flew from Miami. It was an awesome drive. Had this great playlist, started working on my 40th birthday playlist because, like my whole 39 years worth of favorite songs, it's going to be fun. So jammed out, danced the whole way to Miami in my car, Flew to Rome for Miami direct flight Super easy, it was awesome. Got there, stayed at the Six Senses Resort in Rome, which was really cool, and I wasn't even thinking about it when I booked it at the time. But the Sixth Sense was intuition, which was really cool because that was the intention for me to go to Italy in the first place. So I had like a day and a half by myself. So I feel like we're going to go through and I think a theme of this one is going to just be like releasing expectations and even though that's something I feel like I practice on a daily basis, I think subconsciously I still do it, which I think we all can. Um, so anyway, day spa day, walked around at night it was raining, went to like the trevi fountain, saw that by myself, went to dinner by myself. It was really great. I found a cool little authentic spot for pasta which was so delicious and I'm not really a big pasta person, but ate the shit out of some pasta.

Speaker 1:

When I was in Italy, um, the next day my plan was to get up and work out and go shop around and see some things and scope some stuff out for my girlfriend, because she was meeting me there in the afternoon, didn't realize it turned on service that they put like the black shades down in their room. So I ended up sleeping until 1.30 in the afternoon the following day and I woke up and I was like God, that was like the best sleep. I was expecting for it to be like six o'clock in the morning. Right, it was 1.30 in the afternoon and I was like, holy shit, like I can sleep until 1.30 in the afternoon, like I don't have my kids here, I don't have anything to do. Really, I had like set in my mind what I wanted to do, but I didn't really have anything to do. So again, instead of being like, oh my God, I need to do this, I need to do that, and I feel like old crystal or old thought patterns would have kept me in that I need to go work out and I need to do this, and blah, blah, blah, no, I was just like, oh my God, I am so grateful that I got to sleep for over 12 hours. It was amazing, so that was much needed. Met my girlfriend she is amazing and we had so much fun. Like we hung out downstairs and met our intuition coach and his husband and just had some really great, authentic conversations and we walked around, went to dinner. It was just a really great night.

Speaker 1:

I woke up the next day, ran the Spanish Steps about 10 times to get a workout in and ran through Villa Borghese, the garden. I mean it was just a really awesome experience. And then we got in a car and went to our retreat, which was on this beautiful farm, and I mean three home-cooked meals a day. We started every day with a meditation breakfast, a yoga class, an intuition session, a lunch. A couple of days we went to some really cool towns like Civita and Oriveto, like little cool mountain towns that you wouldn't really see on your typical Italy itinerary, and it was actually my first time ever being there, so really loved that like homey, especially the food oh my God, the food was so good but really loved the opportunity to have that more of like in-depth cultural experience and doing yoga twice a day for five days. I mean it was, it was just magical, it was beautiful. Doing yoga twice a day for five days, I mean it was just magical, it was beautiful.

Speaker 1:

Got home, drove back from Miami and it was really good. I got home late on a Friday night and Saturday woke up, went for a long walk with my hubs to catch up on everything. That's kind of like our date days on the weekend is we just go for long walks and just try to catch up with some intentional time together, and took my son to the beach later on and I started to feel kind of achy. I'm like, oh, it's probably just jet lag, no big deal. The next day started feeling like, oh, I'm like really tired. So I'm like, oh, jet lag. And then I had a few like four days.

Speaker 1:

Anyway, ended up being sick for a couple weeks, but during that couple weeks we got hit with Hurricane Helene, which was a super devastating hurricane to our area. The storm surge was just unreal. It's like something we've never really seen before. I have a girlfriend who's actually been on my podcast, Holly Scaranci, with Modern Soul Boutique on St Armand. She had like three feet of water in her boutique, so it's a total loss. Like so many people, restaurants, boutiques, shops and areas that really don't flood were flooded. Homes in areas that really don't flood were flooded. So with my corporate job, bells Inc, we have have over 16,000 employees, over 600 stores, and we provide disaster grant relief assistance for those people people losing their total loss, like their cars, the contents of their homes, and just seeing the destructive damage.

Speaker 1:

And as grateful as you are that it didn't happen to you directly, when it's happening to people in your inner circle like that or your community, it's a really heavy energy. So I feel like it's been just very heavy energy and not to mention, like the following week we had Milton come about and I really try to stay off of the media and out of the news when things like that come because it's like catastrophic, it's going to smash Florida. It just doesn't really help the situation when you're trying to regulate your nervous system and prepare for something like that. It doesn't really help the situation when you're trying to regulate your nervous system and prepare for something like that. But just knowing and seeing the debris and the devastation from the one before and then going through it again and wondering like, is it really going to be a cat five, is it going to be a cat four? It ended up being cat three and my husband stayed home and I took the kids to like hunker down at a safe fortress place, and you know.

Speaker 1:

So just preparing for all of that really puts you in, and not just me, not just my husband, not just my family, but an entire community and state, even in fight or flight. Like you're like, do we stay, do we go or freeze? Do we freeze Like no-transcript, the people that are helping in the community, that feel helpless, the people that, like you know, we lost a place at a trampoline. It's like I don't even want to tell people we lost a place in a trampoline because it doesn't seem like like much at all compared to other people. So it's like almost embarrassing to say I don't want to say anything, but it's just heavy. I don't know how else to describe it.

Speaker 1:

It's like the collective consciousness is just in this state of trauma response and I think, now that they're over for now, hopefully knocking on the table. If you believe in the whole knock on wood suspicion, hopefully we're done for a little while. But either way, it's going to take a lot of time, love and intention to rebuild our community. Community and not even just our community, I mean. It hit places like my cousin who lives in Georgia was super worried about us the whole time for the growth hurricanes and one of them ended up like wiping out her entire little town of Augusta, georgia. So it's really crazy, like North Carolina just seeing all of this and it really it has allowed me to reel it in to the universe, god source, whatever it is you want to believe in. I feel like it is giving us opportunity to continuously A surrender, b detach, so you lose your entire house.

Speaker 1:

There's a bunch of stuff in there. There's a lot of stuff that's irreplaceable. It's like you know I think you know, when I'm running out the door to take my kids to hunker down like what am I grabbing? What am I taking with me? Like I grabbed a photo of my dad that's not digital, that can't be replaced. And same with my Nana I grabbed a photo of her that's not digital, it can't be replaced. And our passports and birth certificates even though those can be replaced, they're just pain in the ass to replace. So, like, those are the things I grabbed, and my kids, and some snacks and some blankets and, in the scheme of things, like what? Like that's that's the question I want you to like step back and answer Like, what would you grab? Because I feel like the things that I need most in my life are not anything that you could grab other than my family. Obviously, it's just it's having that value and having that purpose and all the other stuff can be replaced.

Speaker 1:

So I think it's been a great opportunity for me to continue to practice detachment, like healthy detachment and not getting caught up in the bullshit of the stuff in your life, and honestly, it's really made me want to minimize life a lot and declutter my home and just get rid of a lot of stuff that we don't need. And this is a great time to do that because we can donate a ton of it to people that don't have anything because of what they lost. So I think it's really one of those great pay forward opportunities, but it's just, at the same time, it's exhausting, know, pulling all of the wet debris out of my house and starting fresh. So if I'm feeling this way, I can imagine how others are feeling. So if you are one of those people that have been going through this whether it's, you know, watching it and worrying about your loved ones from afar, or being in the thick of it and losing your businesses, your homes, you know. I hope that you are giving yourself permission to feel the feels, because that's one thing today I don't think I was quite prepared for.

Speaker 1:

But again, it was a great reminder for me to allow myself to feel my feelings, because I haven't really cried through all of this because I've, you know, I've been tough. It's like what do I have to cry about? These other people are losing their stuff. So like I cried over a fucking salad because I just set dead, set my again like don't put an expectation on going home and have this, this great salad. But I did that because I was like oh, I already prepped it. My poor husband. He's like I'm so sorry, I love you. I wasn't thinking and I'm like it wasn't his fault. He just wanted some lunch too, so it wasn't anyone's fault or anything. It was just a fact. That.

Speaker 1:

And two, something that's eye-opening, because I did go and do like this 55-minute detox in this infrared blanket which is amazing and then did a cold plunge. So one thing that I do know from my trauma healing and different modalities that I've tried is, if your nervous system is dysregulated, things like that can make it worse. So I stayed in the cold plunge for four minutes. I got below my vagus nerve, but I did feel like when I was starting to get my lungs under, I started doing the breathing, so I really focused on my breath. There's a mirror like in front of me, so I feel like looking of blindsided by the crying of the salad thing. But it wasn't just the salad, it's. There was a full moon yesterday. So we're still in that full moon energy of Aries, moon release. It's all about releasing right now.

Speaker 1:

So I think I just really needed to cry, I really need to get it out, and I think that so many of us right now are going through a time period. I mean, it's the beginning of time. Humans, this is what we do. We work through it, right, we do, we schedule things, and I know for a fact I have been working through rather than taking time to stop and feel, and I just wanted to give myself and everyone else permission to do that Stop and feel. It's not going to be, there's never going to be an opportune time, and maybe there is. You know, I've been going on my walks, I've been trying to regulate and thank goodness I've been trying to do that, because I probably would have flipped my shit on someone a long time ago if I hadn't. But it's just really been eyeopening, because you can be on this journey and you just never know what's going to happen to flip everything upside down at once. So it's continuous.

Speaker 1:

We say all the time, healing is not linear, it's the ups and downs and all arounds, and it's just one of those important reminders. It's been a really important reminder for me to allow myself to feel, because I know like I even broke down in between hurricanes. The week in between hurricanes I took my son to Disney and we had so much fun and I know for me I just wanted to escape. Like my escape now is not like going and having drinks or anything like that, it's like it's doing things fun, things Like I want to have joyous moments and so I just, like my husband, took the boys the older boys to a football game, so I just we checked into the contemporary resort and went to Disney and we had so much fun for 24 hours, just he and I, and we just had a blast and I think we both really needed that. But that too was exhausting because I was still kind of coming over the effects of the bronchitis and pneumonia and stuff like that and I wasn't feverish or anything so energetically. I felt great but still had a weird cough, but it was almost like I was going stir crazy just being at home with all of the other collective.

Speaker 1:

It's like one of those situations that really I feel like really if you're sensitive to it, you can feel the collective consciousness right, and not to mention, it's an election year, so everyone's getting political, and I hate politics. I'm not gonna lie, like I can't stand it, since I was a very young girl never understood why does it have to be one opinion or the other, like why does it have to be so separate, or why are they right and you're wrong? And I think it's all bullshit, to be honest. So I'm not going to lie, I hope something comes through and like nothing like devastating please. But I'm not gonna lie. I hope something comes through and like nothing like devastating please. But I feel like our system needs a little shake up. I feel like we need some collective consciousness to come in and uplift our society in a positive way and really kind of break down this system. That's outdated and just I don't feel like it works, to be honest. So that's freaking people out, like even knowing that there's an election coming up and stuff like that, I just really tried not to participate in all of that. So that's my two cents and probably all you'll really hear from me.

Speaker 1:

On politics, um, I do think that there's a lot of things that are necessary to have. You, you know, some formality and so we're not just running around feral and buck wild and all of that. But I just wish that there was more positivity and uplifting and empowerment involved in it and less negativity and bias and talking down and whatever. Like just talk about what great things you're going to do and do them, and not talk negatively about all the other people. So anyway, um, that's my hit box on that. Just talk about what great things you're going to do and do them, and not talk negatively about all the other people. So, anyway, that's my hit box on that. But it's definitely affecting society and the economy and so it's just I think I'm mentally preparing and trying to physically prepare.

Speaker 1:

I haven't worked out in like a month. Actually, wednesday I worked out for the first in a month, other than long walks Like I love my long walks and yoga but I haven't done any strength training in like a month and it actually felt really good to take a break. I think my body needed that. I think I felt like I like had some inflammation going on. I don't know if it was from travel and being sick and probably a combination of all of the above, but I knew like, going through this stressful time, it's really important to allow my cortisol levels to settle. So high intensity workouts during a time of stress is no bueno for me, like it's not, doesn't work. It's something I used to do quite often but something I've learned that my body does not like. So I really try to honor that.

Speaker 1:

So walks in nature and the weather's been beautiful the past few days, so really just taking advantage of being out in nature, connecting with nature, putting my feet in the grass, listening to the birds, taking a walk, doing some stretches, trying to keep my body open and in line, because it just, it just feels like rigid, almost like there's a rigid energy in the air, and, um, trying my best to navigate that and communicate. Like I reached out to my husband and I'm like I'm sorry I cried over his salad. He's like babe, it's okay, I'm just here to support you and he didn't take it personally. Thank goodness, because he knows I mean, it's nothing he really did. He didn't take it personally, thank goodness, because he knows it's nothing he really did. He didn't mean to take two salads. It's silly, it's something that I would have never cared about on a different day. But I think I'm just to that point and my nervous system probably got a little dysregulated from the cold plunge on top of, you know, all the other craziness going on in the world. I don't regret doing it.

Speaker 1:

I think it was very necessary to do, but it was just one of those things that shed some light on some things that I think I needed to shed light on. And we did this cacao ceremony yesterday for the full moon. So with my YPO group. We did a cacao ceremony, some nonlinear movement, blindfolded, which was really great. We did some meditation, sound bath and some journaling, and it was all really impactful and at the time I found myself like, oh, I'm good, like this feels, good, this is.

Speaker 1:

I don't really have a lot to release, like yes, the hell you do. Like who are you kidding? I think I've just been kind of going through the motion so much that I've almost felt selfish to say, hey, I need a minute to release or feel whatever I'm feeling, because there's so many other people going through things and have, you know, different circumstances that I do. I think part of that. I think that's where that survivor guilt comes in. And you know we all have mirror neurons. So when we're watching devastation and people losing things and you've sort of kind of feel for other people and selfishly, I think it's like wow, like all the beautiful spots that I love, like they're not there anymore and even though they're not mine, they're a part of our life and a part of our community, and so it's just allowing yourself to feel that, grieve it but then move on from it.

Speaker 1:

So I think it's important to not stay stuck there. So there's a difference and that's something that obviously overcoming the PTSD was a big leap in my healing journey is just not staying stuck there. So, whatever solid situation happened, I had a good cry. I felt so much better. I'm here now. I'm talking to you guys in hopes that you can probably especially if you're in our area relate to some of that. That and I'm really excited.

Speaker 1:

Also, another big thing that I think is kind of festering inside me, for lack of a better word. So my husband was very sweet and he's like we need to do more with your podcast, like you have so much great things to put out there. So we've invested in someone doing more of my social media and stuff. So it's on TikTok and YouTube and all over the place now. So I think that the underlying energy behind that because the story I've been telling myself is that I want to be heard and not seen and blah, blah, blah, blah. So and that was great for a chapter, but I think think it's time. I think that I mean I know that when I see people, I relate to them more, so but just the energy behind that, like it's been this has been happening for like all of 48 hours and one of the videos has like 70 something thousand views. I'm like holy shit, like and I don't really know what to compare it to, cause I don't really pay attention to stats like that on social media, but it's out there.

Speaker 1:

So I've found myself like, if I read the comments like, for example, the video that's going crazy is about um I stopped trying to fix my husband and how he deserves to be loved for who he is and what he is, and I deserve that too, which for me, um, is unconditional love. Right, it's like not loving him conditionally, like if you change this, I'll love you more, if I change this, you'll love me more. Like, no, it's like just accepting him, trusting that he's doing his part in his journey, trusting that we're doing our part together. Reading the comments, it's like some of these people, I'm like, oh my God, that is not, that is not what I said at all. Like, not what I said at all, sister, like you are totally getting that wrong and it just makes you realize that not everyone has your lens and that's okay, that what people project, especially online, hiding behind the computer and the phone or whatever they're on, is a projection of their inner network, not yours. And so I found myself just wanting to like counsel, like four of these people that are like, well, what if he's doing this and what if he's doing that? And I'm like, okay, well, I feel like there needs to be a whole other. I'm like just listen to the full podcast and you'll get the big picture right. That's what these little reels are for.

Speaker 1:

So it's been interesting and it's been a growth opportunity for me to a go back to a book that I love, which is the four agreements, and not take things personally good or bad. So if someone's complimenting you or really going on like, oh, you did this and this is so wonderful, but don't take that to heart, because what is that? It's not even taking it to heart. It's feeding your ego, right? So it's like our false sense of self loves the compliments and our false sense of self gets annoyed with the negative comments. So it's been a really great reminder again to really go inward and remember the purpose of doing this, which is exactly why I came in today to film. It's like I'm not filling up for it. It's like, well, you're not filling up for what Going and talking about what's been going on. Yes, you are. This is the whole point of all of this. This is the reason you're doing it in the first place. So it's been a really great growth opportunity and reminder and it just makes me super grateful that I'm in a place to, even if I'm crying over a salad, to take a step back and be like dude, it's okay, like everyone has their moments. It's okay to not be okay all the time, and I'm going to say that again. It's okay to not be okay all the time and it's important to give yourself permission for that and that's something that you know.

Speaker 1:

I also realized and I was watching a few videos now that I'm a TikToker. I'm not really on there much, but I was just curious to see what the videos were doing. I watched one and someone was talking about affirmations and how affirmations are bullshit, which, as you've heard me talk about affirmations on my podcast a lot, but I really loved the perspective, because affirmations are bullshit if you don't truly believe it. So if you're lying to yourself and saying, oh, I'm an honest person, but you're not telling the whole truth in relationships or to yourself even, or different examples of I don't know. I just think it's really interesting and it really made me think like, yes, affirmations. I feel like they've really helped me, but what I realize is I'm telling myself things that I truly believe about myself, like I'm worthy and I deserve love and I deserve respect, and those are things that I feel like everyone is worthy, I feel like everyone deserves love, I feel like everyone deserves respect. So it just it's interesting and it really puts things in context, because people do take that and run with it and it can be you not being completely honest with yourself and if you're not living up to I don't want to say standard, because I don't like that word If you're not living a certain way and you're contradicting yourself, only you really know that, like if you're putting it out there. That's one thing I mean and it's it's just really important to go back to what.

Speaker 1:

What is your purpose, what is your intention for doing the things you're doing? And I I've realized more since I've been doing all of this that there's a lot of it out there. There's a lot of people talking mental health. There's a lot of people, you know, on their own journeys, and I respect that and I. But what I gravitate towards are the people talking about real life stuff and real life examples, and that's what I like to continue to bring to you guys and I just wanted to jump on today to talk about a little bit of this because I think it's just really important for me to stay level and to be true to myself and to fulfill my purpose of sharing. It is just to get on and talk about some real, live, raw shit.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes and it's not always going to be about healing Sometimes it's going to be about coping. Like how are we coping? Like I, literally, when I was sick and my kids were home for two weeks, I was taking this crazy cough syrup at night that had codeine in it. It was helping me sleep and I was waking up and drinking coffee. And what have I said several times? Like I don't really drink coffee and caffeine it makes me feel blah. Well, guess what? It helped me survive for a couple of weeks.

Speaker 1:

But I feel like now, in the place that I'm in, that things are kind of leveling out. The weather's been beautiful. I'm going to shift that dump the coffee for a little while because I feel like my nervous system needs a little bit more regulation from the inside out. Like I may appear okay on the outside, but I know for a fact, on the inside, I'm still healing physically, emotionally, mentally and I am excited. It's really giving me the opportunity to reset and be excited about this new chapter, which is really all about empowerment, accountability, and I think this all meant to happen. It's been devastating, it's been crazy and chaotic, but if you're surrendering to the flow like I talk about, I'm surrendering to like, hey, this is what's happened, I'm not going to resist it, I'm going to roll with it and I'm really excited to have some new guests on that really have some unique perspectives about this and they're willing to share their real life experience and we're really just as a society.

Speaker 1:

I feel like coming together in a beautiful way and that's one of the great things about having a situation like we've had recently is watching the community come together, and I talked to a girlfriend yesterday and she and her son two sons went around their neighborhood and cleaned up people's yards. That will never know they did it. You know they knew a certain couple was out of town or they realized it after the fact, but they had picked up all the palm fronds and things out of their yard and it's like how nice is that to come home and be like, wow, perfect strangers cleaned up my house because I had to evacuate and oh, before I forget, that's one thing I want to touch on. So we had a lot of people reaching out. Obviously, when you see a cat five hurricane coming towards a community, a lot of people come out of the woodwork to check on you, which I really greatly appreciate. Thank you all for reaching out.

Speaker 1:

However, there are certain people that have opinions about what you should be doing and where you should be going and why you should be doing it, and you know what Mind your freaking business is all I have to say about that. Like, love you, I appreciate you, but it is not up to other people to decide for people what to do. Like, allow people in their moments to decide what to do with their lives. My husband and I made the decision for him to stay home and for me to take the kids to our hunker down spot where I knew there would be Wi-Fi. I knew there would be a generator. We actually got a generator, like a year and a half ago, at our home and it rusted from the inside out, so there was no guaranteed power, and one side of our house is hurricane proof, the other side's not, and with the kids at home, we just wanted peace of mind.

Speaker 1:

So we made that decision and we had some people chime in on it and feel like we should be doing otherwise, and it's like it's not really up for you to decide and we appreciate you, appreciate your own helplessness in it all and I know that feeling. It's like I've had to hold back on being like, oh wow, you guys should do this or you guys should do that. But the bottom line is we were not in an evacuation zone at all. We have a very strong and sturdy house with a brand new roof. It is really important to allow the people who need to leave to have the available resources, time, space on the roads to evacuate if that's what they need. Like I said, we had two back-to-back hurricanes. There were people that didn't even have homes or cars to evacuate in, so we don't need to be taking up their gas and their space and their resources and supplies when we have a safe place.

Speaker 1:

So just trust your friends, trust your family members and trust that people are able to make decisions for themselves and just let's just respect that and have some courtesy for our peers and families and friends. Let's just love and trust and in a situation like we've had going on, what really helps me and I honestly kind of find peace in the storm in a really odd way, I don't know Ever since I was a little girl like if there's like a crazy thunderstorm or something going on, I try not to get fearful and I try to really connect with it and it's like you know, mother Nature is really powerful. So I feel like the more I can respect the process while it's happening, the more peace I will have in my heart. Now are there moments where I got scared. Yes, I mean, we had six hours of insane winds. It was like the second half was way worse than the first half and there were parts that were definitely scary.

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But did I go into it with a fearful mindset of like fight or flight? No, and it was interesting because in 2017, I think it was the year we got married, I think it was 2017 or 18, one of those, the year we got married, hurricane Irma came through and it was a very similar situation and we lived on the water at the time and I remember boarding the house up and going to hunker down with the whole family. I remember taking like a giant Yeti full of wine and bottles of water, and the kids were there on walkie-talkies running around and you know, I knew we would have, we knew we would be safe and we were fine. But I remember of deep inner work to not just be sparked instantly into those fight or flight situations. Or maybe I'm just accustomed to hurricanes by now and you know, as a Floridian, your entire life. It's just, you know, it's all part of it.

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We don't really intend on leaving. Our businesses are here, Our home is here. It would be nice to have like a second home somewhere else, and that'll be a conversation for down the road, but it's just really heightened that sense of just respect other people's decisions, for what they decide. I think that's really important because I know I've in the past projected my feelings and my fears onto other people and that's just not fair because that's one more thing they have to worry about, like why. You know it's not up to me to make someone feel guilty for not leaving their home, or that they did leave their home or that they should leave. You know it's not, it's a shoulda, woulda, couldas, right, let's not. Should people, let's not, could people, let's. Let's just mind our business, although again appreciate the thought, concern all the things. Let's see, I don't know. There's just so much to unravel and unpack right now.

Speaker 1:

I think I'll probably conclude it for today with I am just so grateful, like very grateful, for the opportunities that I've had to reflect on inner stuff, outside stuff, other people, our community, our community. It's just really put a lot in perspective and I think, instead of having like um, oh my gosh, why did this happen to us? Kind of mindset, it's more of a I'm grateful that we've all had an opportunity to remind ourselves of what's truly important and what really matters in our life and it gives you an extra layer of gratitude for the small things in life and the small little necessities, like having power and fresh food and gas in your car. And it really takes it back to the basics and just overall gives me an extra layer of compassion and sympathy and empathy and love for other people, because it's not easy and facing things like this is not easy at all. Gratitude and appreciation and not live in the fear or the why did this happen to me? Kind of situation. I think that we really increase and intensify that high vibration, energy of love and light and compassion.

Speaker 1:

So that's what I'm going to leave you guys with today. So that's what I'm going to leave you guys with today. Thanks for the soapbox venting. I covered a lot of random things in 40 minutes, but it was a pleasure to jump on. I'm looking forward to having some fun guests on and I will see you guys later. Peace out.