Krystel Clear
In this podcast you will experience my unique approach to healing, happiness and following my souls purpose. My intention is to provide a platform that aims to guide and support individuals on their journey towards personal growth, inner healing, spiritual enlightenment or just taking the right steps to reach your highest potential!
My goal is to create a thought provoking, safe and nurturing space for listeners to explore various topics. Healing, self-discovery, mindfulness, wellness, empowerment, accountability, the raw truths of life, love and overcoming everyday obstacles.
I will have my tribe of healing coaches, doctors, colleagues and peers joining me to discuss their journeys in hopes of bringing enlightenment and empowerment to your world.
Life can be messy so let’s talk about that and the worthiness, forgiveness and compassion it takes to face our darkness and shine our light!
I hope this podcast validates your feelings, gives you the permission needed to share your voice, speak your truth and navigate your own journey with strength and perseverance.
**This podcast does not supplement any mental health or medical advice from practitioners. It’s a guiding tool providing resources from my own personal life experiences. The intention is to shed light and love onto the lives of others. You are not alone**
Krystel Clear
Insights, Numerology & Letting Go with Hallie Young & Nicole Cato
Join in this week with a round table talk with my faves! So much great insight and different perspectives.
This episode revolves around the themes of personal growth and the importance of celebrating small victories as we enter a new year. The hosts discuss numerology's impact on self-awareness and identity shifts, emphasizing the need to break free from limiting beliefs while fostering mindful habits and realistic goal-setting.
• Embracing the concept of endings as new beginnings
• The significance of personal reflections in areas of our lives
• Understanding how limiting beliefs hold people back
• Celebrating small victories and their cumulative impact
• Developing realistic habits and self-talk strategies
• The transformative journey of personal empowerment and growth
• Encouraging listeners to reset their mindset anytime and anywhere
Thank you for joining me today. Please know that this podcast and the information shared is not to replace or supplement any mental health or personal wellness modalities provided by practitioners. It’s simply me, sharing my personal experiences and I appreciate you respecting and honoring my story and my guests. If something touched your heart please feel free to like, share and subscribe. Have a beautiful day full of gratitude, compassion and unconditional love.
What's up everyone? Welcome to this episode of Crystal Clear. I'm excited to have my first like I'm just going to say it, threesome podcast.
Speaker 2:I didn't know, that's what you were going to say.
Speaker 1:It's a rectangle table Anyway so we have Mrs Hallie Pilot Young and Nicole Cato, who are former guests of mine for their individual podcast, but this could either be a shit show, a magical experience, or a little bit of all of the above. We're excited to be here to chit, chat and just share all the things, all the things. It's a new year, it's a new vibe. We're going to talk about the little wins, the big wins, overcoming obstacles and personal, like you know, whether you're a resolution kind of person, or you're just a wing it and let it flow and surrender kind of person. We're just going to kind of go through and have an open conversation today. So welcome, ladies.
Speaker 2:Even just listening to you describe that, I'm like, if we wanted to, this could be six hours long. Oh, I know, it could absolutely be six hours, and we would forget we were being filmed.
Speaker 1:So that's the thing Right, which you do anyway, I try to forget like it's all not there. Honestly, some of our best conversations.
Speaker 3:I'm like man. We should have filmed that.
Speaker 2:Every time Crystal and I talk on the phone we're like this could have been an episode, I know.
Speaker 1:Seriously. So yeah, ladies welcome. How are you? How are your holidays? What's in store for you for 2025? Let's just start there. What's our vision here?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so I feel like the ending of 2024 was a nine year for me so those of you that don't follow astrology nine years like finishing of tying ends of things, and it was a slow year and so I kind of felt like a big finish. I anticipated a big finish for a nine year, but I felt like the the bow on it was figuring out. I have to do like an identity shift, so not to get too deep too fast.
Speaker 1:No, I love it, let's go, I'm all in.
Speaker 3:So after nine comes one and so and that's changed. So I felt like my guides slowed me down a lot at the end of last year and I almost felt like something was slowing me down and so I just kind of went with it and was like, okay, I'm slowing down and I was like the people that will understand will understand, and those that don't, they're on their path Eventually. Maybe one day they'll understand. But I didn't do a lot in December, to be honest. I did like the traditional stuff with my kids because I want for them, but a lot of the extra stuff like I didn't have my traditional cookie Christmas party and I just kind of was in my little cocoon, you know, outside of like my immediate family, and so I feel like coming up is a big shift. So I felt like maybe that was preparation for that.
Speaker 1:Well, and I think too, it gives us time to slow down, to soak it in. Because when we're going and we're doing, and we're doing all these things, even the traditional things why are we doing the traditional things?
Speaker 3:Are we doing it because we've always done it, or are we?
Speaker 1:doing it because we really enjoy doing it.
Speaker 3:Don't you catch yourself sometimes in the traditional thing Like what am I doing? Oh, we were totally non-traditional this year and we'll get there.
Speaker 1:But yeah, a hundred percent because it's just almost like repetitive Right, it's a habit. Yeah, 100%, because it's just almost like repetitive Right.
Speaker 3:It's a habit. Yeah, so yeah, I'm excited for you.
Speaker 1:I love that you had a slow year, an intentional year, and you have two little ones. What are they? Two and six.
Speaker 3:Yes, two and seven.
Speaker 2:Two and seven.
Speaker 1:So I mean it's not an easy stage of life.
Speaker 3:A lot of emotions a lot of big feelings, a lot of to-dos. Santa is still a big. The elf on the shelf which was like I resisted for so long, but here he is.
Speaker 1:I remember those days when there were three expecting elf on the shelf and you'd wake up in the morning and just like throw it across the room.
Speaker 3:I was sick during December, and so the elf was sick and Savannah was like he hasn't moved or she hasn't moved in four days, and I was like she's sick too. It's contagious.
Speaker 1:It's like you know, see, I love that for you and we'll get into a little more numerology maybe how I can brief us on that in a little bit. I know, I'm like, yeah, and I was reading my mind. All right, let's do it.
Speaker 2:Let's hear Well, I love that in a nine year last year which is, like you said, about endings, and now you're in a one which is new beginnings. But universally, 2025 is another nine year.
Speaker 1:I know I'm like, so I'm getting here You're going to have a slow new beginning, a slow one which I'm okay with.
Speaker 3:Yeah, maybe it's just process time. Yes, right, it's intentional.
Speaker 2:And for people who have no idea what we're talking about, you get so 2024 was an eight year, because you add up two plus zero, plus two plus four, and then you keep adding the digits, basically until they reduce to a single one. So if it added up to 10, you would add, then one plus zero and you would get one. You keep going until it gets a single digit. I was trying to explain this to Jake and he's like you're not explaining this very well. So you know, yeah, if you write it down on paper, it makes sense. So last year was an eight year, universally. This is for all of us. Now we're in a nine year, which is about endings, but I think people hear endings and they're like oh God, I'm scared, like what's going to end?
Speaker 2:Yeah, like they associate a negative with it, but it's not it doesn't have to be bad Like you don't have to label the endings as good or bad. It could be a great thing that some things like what if the things that are ending are things that no longer serve you and that probably is what's happening patterns or core beliefs, or relationships and things yes, exactly things that no longer serve you exactly right.
Speaker 2:So you know, now we're all collectively in a nine year, but then we all have our own individual years, which is you add up the digits of the current year again, but then also with your birth date. So I know, I I feel like my best friends. I know everybody's numerology years, like Crystal's in a six year this year.
Speaker 1:I'm one year behind you.
Speaker 3:Starting off with a threesome.
Speaker 2:Sorry.
Speaker 1:Empowerment podcast season. I'm telling you, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. But I mean like when I look at you I'm like okay, cool, like I get like a preview of like my year because I'm one year behind you, so I'm in a five year this year, and so last year I was in a four, and so four is all about. It's the grind, it's hard work.
Speaker 1:It's laying the foundation, it's building the system, oh my God.
Speaker 2:No-transcript have to be careful with that in a four year, because it can lead to health issues if you're working so hard that you just burn yourself out. Yeah, and I feel like you also did a great job of that in your four year, because it was the year that you really debuted crystal clear. But you were very careful in the beginning to be like, okay, but it's not going to be a workhorse thing, it's going to be a passion. Yeah. I'm going to enjoy it.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to do it because I have to Right Um, yeah. So now I'm in a five year which is change, um, and I love change, like I feel like a lot of people hate change and I fully embrace change. So, yeah, big changes in life, desire for freedom, that's kind of the theme of my year. I feel like big changes are coming and I totally welcome them, embrace them and going back to, you know, not labeling them as good or bad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just accepting, surrendering, embracing Love, that yeah, whatever it is, you know, bring it on, and then we'll adapt and celebrate or we'll navigate, you know, if it's not what you planned. But I think having goals and having expectations are two very different things.
Speaker 1:Very different, and I think that that's where society gets a lot of things twisted, because I think generationally we're releasing a lot of expectations from generational stuff or family stuff or whatever, and then trying to come in, but I still find myself setting expectations for myself all the time yes, I'll get a little bit more to that. So what is six year? So that's my year this year, so I'm in a six and a nine, so I'm ending something. But what is six year, so that's my year this year, so I'm in a six and a nine, so I'm ending something.
Speaker 2:But what is six? I always I forget six. Six is there's a focus on responsibility, but there's a focus on like home life, family life, like very family centric.
Speaker 1:Okay, and also finishing. I thought that was five.
Speaker 2:No, no, five is big changes, you know, kind of like that desire for freedom which makes sense, sense for you. You travel to places you've never been to. Yeah, yeah, in peru, italy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I actually looked at my vision board that we made last year.
Speaker 2:I did all of it, yeah I mean, it was a freaking giant llama with machu picchu in the middle and I'm like, right there, the only thing was egypt.
Speaker 1:But I'm pretty sure we're doing that this year so that's exciting, that's so yeah, that's like. Matt's bucket list trip. So six is family and responsibility.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and also finishing old projects, so I'm excited to see what comes back for you what?
Speaker 1:resurfaces for you in your sixth year.
Speaker 2:I like that yeah like maybe something you started, and then you were like oh, I haven't done this in a while or I forgot about that.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, retreats it could be.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it goes back to like what you were saying earlier, like your perspective of that Right Totally change this year. Right yeah, On what family time means. I like that. I like that Well honestly.
Speaker 1:I mean, I feel that shift. Our oldest is going to college, right? Yeah, our youngest is supposed to be going to kindergarten and the other two are in high school. So it's like what does that mean? And I think I've been pondering, like, do I put him in regular school or do I put him in like freedom, feral school, where he can free spirited children, which he definitely is? Like it's going to be a struggle to get him to go back to preschool in my day. Um, so I see that. So maybe something's changing in my dynamic. And, um, it's funny, my life coach is I haven't talked to her in two weeks, just from the holidays, and we got into bed last night and I was like I think I want to quit my job and I think I want to be like. And Matt's like are you okay? I'm like, I'm not really going to quit my job.
Speaker 2:I really love my job and I wouldn't want anyone else to do my job, and I'm like you know what?
Speaker 1:It's Thursday and I haven't had a Kathy call in two weeks and I think I'm just dumping on you right now and that's okay. He's like can I just have a hug?
Speaker 2:Yeah, can I? I think, that's actually what I need to. I think I really just need a physical touch.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right, because I got home and I took a podcast on this. I put up four Christmas trees this year in my home, from 14 feet all the way to 8 feet Big Christmas trees.
Speaker 3:It's not just a minute.
Speaker 1:Christmas tree, it's not a little arrangement, but yesterday I took most of them down and it felt so good to take them down, although I had a four-year-old be like why are you doing that? Why are you taking it away? Why are you taking it away? Why are you putting it away? It's still Christmas. Like he just doesn't understand. There's still. Christmas stuff everywhere, and so apparently I need to wait until UTC knocks it all down right.
Speaker 3:That's the official. Then go back.
Speaker 1:But I felt so good to just start fresh and have my house back, and then I'm like of course I'm like, ooh, I think'm going to make a new seating area over here and I'm like, wrapped up in, like designing a new seating area, yeah, so just forcing myself to kind of slow down and be in the moment. So I love that six is responsibility and family time, and maybe what the change of that might look like. Yeah, I think that I'm looking forward to embracing that and diving a little deeper into that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like a focus on the home life. You know which is good?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it's going to be a really grounding year for you, yeah, yeah, I feel like five was too. Honestly, I feel like, even though there was a lot of travel, I allowed myself to be in those moments and not like constantly swirling about. I should have, I could, I stopped, shoulda, woulda coulda myself.
Speaker 3:I felt like you were very mindful too about leading up to it, not putting too much in front of your trips and then coming back trying as much as you could to cushion, I know from a board meeting came back to board meetings family, shareholder meetings and like all the things. Yeah, then it was chill yeah honestly, we had had a very low key Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1:Very low key intentional holiday.
Speaker 1:We did things very different this year and I think that you know that's been one of the things and maybe it'll just lead into a new conversation here but really accepting that things are changing. You know, my grandfather is 83. I haven't seen him in a while. I need to manage to get my way up to Tallahassee but, like my, we usually go to my in-laws for Christmas Eve. We didn't do that this year. I hosted at my house and you know, just realizing that we really love our intimate time with our kids and just what does that look like? Going forward and being okay with being like the first person to do it differently or accepting that things are going to be done differently and honoring the fact that it was the last Christmas and holiday with all of the family in the house, without a kid gone. Mind you, he's my bonus son.
Speaker 1:I didn't give birth to a child that's 18 years old Right.
Speaker 2:But I didn't start that young.
Speaker 1:Right, thank goodness. So yeah, I think it's just a lot of acceptance for me. This year. I'm like, oh, it's going to be all about empowerment, but I think it was a lot more. 2025 for me was a lot more of like surrender flow and accepting than like gung ho as empowerment was, and that was more of like the four year yeah so, as you said, year five is what changed.
Speaker 1:yeah, and so that would that that flows. Actually, if it's like the four is the grind year, it was all about the empowerment I do do do, but still finding my being part, and I will. I will say that I've recently feel like I'm I'm like itching, like something is nudging me to dive deeper into my spiritual practices and my mindfulness time and just have my like B time and I think that was part of the whole conversation last night. I'm like I don't have that, but just getting back into a routine, finding making that time for myself. It's not like you're just going to find it on a shelf Like I need to carve that out and make it.
Speaker 3:Be intentional about it, yeah.
Speaker 2:This was. This was a conversation I had with Jake and this is, I feel, like a perfect segue to talk about, like starting fresh in a new year and like do you set resolutions? Do you not Right the habits? Because he is such a you can't even call it a routine. He's got this morning ritual and it's just like part of his brain like wakes up, doesn't go on his phone, goes and drinks a big glass of water with like vitamin D and vitamin K drops in it. Whatever goes and does like a 15 minute stretch prayer meditation routine. Like it's amazing.
Speaker 1:It's really amazing. Then works out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and he. But he doesn't even. It's not even like no-transcript on the beach and I was reading it. I'm like I'm so cliche right now.
Speaker 1:I didn't start before the new year.
Speaker 2:I will say it was like the last week of 2024. But I think, even with my spiritual practice, I was noticing if I wasn't making time to do it, it wasn't happening, and I always feel better when I do it.
Speaker 1:It's like anything.
Speaker 2:It's like making your bed, it's like a workout, but, like for me, every time I do it I get deeper and deeper into my spiritual practice and into my connection with the universe and every time I do it I'm like I'm so glad I did this right, and so now I just I'm on like a 10 day hot streak, so we're going to keep it going. But I wake up, I don't grab my phone, I just get up, brush my teeth, whatever, wash my face, and then I go into my little Zen den office and lay on the ground and I meditate and I journal and I do my cards and whatever it is, and I get my oil disco ball essential oil diffuser turned on.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And all my Hallie things. I saw that in your story.
Speaker 2:I love it, but it feels. It feels so good to not have it be a thought anymore. And then I feel like also not being unrealistic about it and Jake helped me a lot because I, you and I are very similar in this way, like very all or nothing, like very extreme or like nothing, and I feel like I'm specifically talking about like workouts, eating healthy, you know.
Speaker 2:So, like with workouts in my mind, if I wasn't doing like an hour, I wasn't doing anything. And Jake's like no, I do, you see me, I do like 20 minutes every day and I come back dripping in sweat and I'm like, oh, you're right. I come back dripping in sweat and I'm like, oh, you're right. And because I think the more that you are unrealistic about those habits, your rituals, your routines you're only setting yourself up to then feel like shit about yourself when you don't meet them Because. How could you meet them? Because?
Speaker 2:they're not realistic, like who has two and a half hours every single morning to do all these things. So just making it realistic has already been helpful for me. And I don't know it takes a lot of like identity shifting, like you were talking about, like changing your core beliefs of like I have to if I'm gonna work out.
Speaker 2:It has to be for x amount of time or I'm not worthy or whatever the core belief is like whatever the the deep, deep core belief from your childhood is like I'm not gonna be loved if I can't prove that I achieved this thing or whatever it is, and so I feel like that is going to be a big part of my change in 2025, too, is undoing some of those stories and genuinely understanding and believing that, yes, hallie, 15 minutes of working out if that's all you have time for that day is better than doing nothing. Oh, a hundred percent, yes, A hundred percent. Yes, so that's where I'm at in my routine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that and I I can definitely relate, I know, on all the things. Exercise is one thing, though, like I'm always all, like I can't ever do nothing, and that's just a psychotic core belief I have.
Speaker 1:But it's also a physical, like I just have to move my body. I'm a mover. Like have you ever done the life languages? Yes, oh, life languages. It's like I'm a mover influencer responder. Oh, my God, I need to do that. Yes, I'll send it to you. So it's interesting. I'm a mover influencer responder, but those three have gone in different order over the different stages of my life, so I have to honor that because I know that it will come out in other ways. And so that's kind of what the conversation was like last night when I was like you know, I feel like I'm not there, and Matt's like well, you, your job is community outreach, so your job is to be out in the community.
Speaker 1:Like you don't have to be cause I feel like something within me is pressuring myself to go sit in the office for all this period of time and. I'm like, but what would I really do? Like, my job is committee meetings and, you know, organizing events and all these other things, and it's like and the, the guilt and the shame and the ego creeping in.
Speaker 2:Right, but I'm doing that.
Speaker 3:And he's like no one shames me, Like you're doing this to yourself, I'm like, I'm aware.
Speaker 1:I'm doing it to myself, but it's a perfect example of it's. Like it doesn't have to be all or nothing, like I don't have to be sitting in a desk for four hours a week that way. That's why I've never had a corporate job before. So it's honoring A our capacity. B setting realistic goals. I know as a remote worker, I have to carve out hours in the day to actually get my job done. Otherwise I will be floating out in space or exercising or walking, or I will skip my responsibilities to do the things that like, the fluffy things that are easy for me and that come naturally to me. So I think that you know in the realm of this for our listeners, like when you're setting goals for yourself or resolutions or whatever the hell you want to call them, just be realistic and really celebrate the little wins too. Like just do one thing every day to get you to where your end goal is Like.
Speaker 1:If I don't want my emails to pile up, I need to carve out some time to get through them all, answer them all, because I'm historical for reading emails at a stoplight and never following through because I forget about it in three hours, right, thank goodness. For talk to text. I do a lot of that, although I read it back sometimes and I'm like I'm not sure this AI is really AI.
Speaker 2:Now I just have to do it way over again.
Speaker 1:Yeah and so, yeah, so really just setting realistic, like what works for you and like that one thing every day to get you to whatever the goals are, and it doesn't have to be one thing, it can be multiple things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know like a 15 minute walk or stretching Something. Yeah, whatever, yeah whatever it is.
Speaker 3:To like with the all or nothing and the one thing a day.
Speaker 3:Somewhere we got convinced that it is all or nothing, and so if I can't do what my future self wants to do, all of it today. Then we get tired of it, right, like it's emotionally exhausting. But if I can do one thing tomorrow that gets me closer to where I want to be, like that's progress. And we've kind of lost that. And I think, going back to like the nine year and in finishing and endings I had to end a lot of limiting beliefs to create new ones, and so that was like a whole. I mean it's been years but last year was really big on like finding what are those limiting beliefs? Because I think that sometimes is our obstacle in starting new things or starting new habits is I can't do this or I've never been able to do it before, so why can't?
Speaker 1:I do it now. I'm not a morning person I'm not an evening person.
Speaker 2:Creating an identity that enforces the opposite of what you're trying to do, and it's hard work.
Speaker 3:And I think I would look at people I admire talk about identity shifts or changing yourself and was like, well, this is what they did. And I couldn't do that exactly. So I was like I would get frustrated and then I'd fall back into. You know, you fall back on default when you can't do what you want to do. But you know, I'm just cause we do work out. I'm like I didn't get up to squatting what I did because I started that day and was like one day I'll be able to lift it. You start small and then you get there. So it's like kind of the same mentality when you're changing your identity, you have to spend a lot of time internally and we're not built that way today, in today's world.
Speaker 3:No, we have so many external distractions, if you start your day on social media, you're immediately confirming all of your limiting beliefs. Probably I don't look like that life. I don't look. Yes, I'm not listening to my higher self, I'm not connected to myself, and I think for me we talked about journaling last time. For me, journaling, I had to stop saying this is exactly what I want my dream life. Journaling, like I had to stop saying this is what, exactly what I want my dream life to look like, because I had a hard time defining that and so I would battle with myself, and so it was like I wasn't getting anywhere because I couldn't define a vision, but I could define qualities Right, so I had to kind of like take a step back and say, like well, regardless of what I want, I have to focus on what that future vision feels like.
Speaker 2:Right, right, like feelings, feelings, it feels like freedom and empowerment and worthy and okay, yeah.
Speaker 3:So I had to change. And for me, changing identity I recently kind of gone through this in December is like my self-talk and-talk and I was not big on affirmations. I was like these don't work. But for me recently affirmations have been big because if I don't do them I am letting my subconscious run wild and my subconscious talk I mean it's not, it's full of my roommate. Yeah, it's like telling me I can't do this and I can't. Your roommate is your ego for this. I'll look up that book. But um, got my room.
Speaker 3:My ego was telling me, like you're, you have lived 38 years and you haven't done this before. You haven't felt worthy, you haven't felt, you know, righteous or holy or any of these things. So, stepping into that, like, okay, we'll try that. But then you start to. I feel like you get tests. The first, within like the first couple of weeks, you decide to start out on a new path and it's like those are tests because it's like well, how sure are you that you want to continue in this? And I also think our bodies and this world are, they get accustomed to feelings and so it's like you've felt this way for so long, because it doesn't differentiate whether your feelings are good or bad, it just knows. This is the feeling you've had for 38 years, and now you want to change that. And so your body is like trying to protect you until like, no, no, no, you don't want to do that. We've always done this Right.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's when we get into certain relationship patterns or have a tendency to pull from comfort zone, even though it's usually not comfortable at all Right. I shouldn't say it's not comfortable, it's not like settling you always see those memes that pop up.
Speaker 2:Your nervous system feels good around X, y and Z, like butterflies aren't a good thing, like ooh okay yeah okay, oh wow, thanks for telling me now, but not the way it's supposed to it all works out the way it's supposed to, yeah, but like back to what you were saying about, just like, when you're not that like, we've always done it this way and you're going to be this way.
Speaker 2:I was listening to, um, my mentor, even though she doesn't know it, gabby Bernstein, her, her podcast, the other day, talking about, like, why your manifestations aren't happening and, um, you know, it's because you have a core belief that doesn't align with what you're trying to whatever put out into the world. And a good tool, I feel like, for that. Um, something she mentioned is you know, if you're, if you're trying to rework a core believer, an old story, and then your ego creeps in like Nope, that's too good to be true, you can't change it. She's like, literally, just like, snap the rubber band and be like I forgive the fear and I forgive the judgment and I'm willing to see this differently. Like that statement.
Speaker 2:I was like wow that works. Like, I choose to forgive the fear, and I choose to forgive the judgment or whatever it is. I forgive the lack mentality. I forgive the victim mentality, whatever it is. I'm willing to see this differently. It's just like a huge shift. Wow, I love that.
Speaker 1:I mean even being aware that it's your ego too is progress, and that was a huge thing. Going back to the roommate Michael Singer was a really great book. Eckhart Tolle, very great author for references for understanding like deeper inside, like what the ego is.
Speaker 2:Versus your actual, true self.
Speaker 1:Yes, and then I talk about this a lot Like is it my false self that's wanting to have this conversation right now, or is it my true self? And anytime you feel victimized or you feel like blaming someone or your feelings get hurt, you have to. Really, you know I you don't have to, but I encourage you to take a step back. What?
Speaker 3:is it about me that is hurt about this?
Speaker 1:Is hurt right now. And going back to the we mentioned this in our last podcast the nonviolent communication book. Like what is coming alive inside of me right now Because it has nothing to do with the outside source.
Speaker 2:Right Like what part of me.
Speaker 1:What is this part?
Speaker 2:that was so offended by it. Like it's not me, it's part of me.
Speaker 3:I could be in a situation and be so heartbroken, and the same situation happened to y'all and you think nothing of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because we're excited, right, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Because it is literally our perception, our viewpoint, our ego coming into it, going no, this thing has hurt us in the past, so we're we know now. Yeah, this is bad, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, a great example of that is I have a girlfriend and we were talking about things and she, you know, she got very upset because someone canceled plans on her. And I'm like, if someone cancels plans on me, I'm like freedom, don't you worry about it, exactly, oh, I'm so sorry, I'm like.
Speaker 3:you don't have to explain anything.
Speaker 2:I enjoy the downtime and it's happening for a reason Like enjoy whatever else you have going on or you're sick or whatever.
Speaker 1:So that's just a perfect, just something that happens to every one example of just let it go and not taking it personally.
Speaker 2:And I talk about this all the time.
Speaker 1:But if we can not personalize other people's stuff. It's a huge way to allow the ego to just back off.
Speaker 2:Yeah, mel Robbins just came up with a new book about this.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:About her let them. I love the let them theory. Yes, I am so excited to read that book and that's one of the examples she uses.
Speaker 2:I mean oh is it? Yeah, Like if someone, if your friends do something and they don't invite you. Okay, let them Right. You know like if you want your husband to whatever start biking with you, cause like biking he doesn't want to like, let him you know, like just let them.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I went through a whole thing last year he will not do it, but I gotta let it go it's like oh yeah, like
Speaker 2:sometimes we're guilty of wanting to like control our partner or like want them to be more like us or whatever, and sometimes like you need to just let them yeah do their thing.
Speaker 1:That was 100. What helped my relationship settle is when we started to realize that, like letting you be you, yeah, let him be him. His journey is different than mine. That's okay, right.
Speaker 3:My kids.
Speaker 1:Let them be them, and that's where I think I struggle.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Oh, you're yes.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Getting yelled at about the Christmas.
Speaker 2:I'm like I'm going to let you be you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm sensing a lot of resistance from Laura right now, and maybe you just go do something else. A lot of resistance.
Speaker 2:Brody, you're at a low vibe right now. You're at a low vibe, yeah.
Speaker 1:High vibe, but in a different direction than I was.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, right, right, I went through a whole thing last year with a group of acquaintances that I thought were nice acquaintances. We were not friendly acquaintances, right, like honestly I thought we were friends, yeah, just to be totally vulnerable. And they started this whole rumor about me. That was going on for like a year and I didn't know about it until someone told me. And do we want to say what the rumor was?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 3:Because I don't want it to keep you alive.
Speaker 1:I know I didn't know who wanted it out there.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, Tell me later yeah. But it was nasty against me and my marriage and I realized very quickly they were not my friends. Yeah, and it was so painful and it was so hurtful and I old me, many versions of me would have lashed out and created lots of chaos and been like who said I mean, I would have ripped down walls trying to find out where this came from.
Speaker 3:Yes, but then I was, like, what am I defend? Like this isn't true at all. So like, what am I? What are you defending? Exactly right and true. Also knowing, like, where your attention goes, your energy flows, like, is this where is this really where you want?
Speaker 3:your energy, like no, I don't want to put any energy towards this, I just want all of this to end. And going back to the all or nothing mentality, I was like I said I'm not talking to any of them anymore, I'm done like, and my husband, who was kind of ironic that he said this, but anyway he was like you don't have to be all like, they can be acquaintances and that's it. Like you don't right.
Speaker 3:Yes, like, because it's your piece like whatever you're comfortable with, you don't. You don't have to explain anything to them or explain why you suddenly aren't checking in every day or doing this or that or you know whatever, and they're a part of my life that I can't get away from. So it's been challenging, but the let them theory is like they're coming after me because of their own stuff.
Speaker 3:And that's hard to realize, especially if you're not in a self-development journey. But accepting and surrendering to it was like. But accepting and surrendering to it was like I don't really care what they, you know it's freeing, it is freeing. It's like go ahead. And then I quickly realized they're just going to move on to the next rumor. So like, the more you just surrender to it, the more quickly they can move on to the next person.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know and realize it's their own stuff, like yeah, I mean the three of us talk all the time. I don't think we've ever had a conversation about another human no, never.
Speaker 3:No, because it's never come up. It's never. I mean we might.
Speaker 1:And if we are, we're like oh, they're on their journey, they're doing this Right?
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's part of the soul contract, can you believe Like, if anyone one starts a conversation. Can you believe we're like? What year are they in?
Speaker 1:What's the numerology Right? But it's like always with like uplifting compassion and I go back to and I've had to do this too Like you go back to different stages of life and there are people that I don't want to totally block out because I love them, but I'm just not the same person as I was when I was surrounded by them all the time, and when I do get myself in situations with them, it's like okay, well, I just I don't see that. And it goes back to like the identity thing, and I think one thing that I've really worked hard on is not identifying with any, like trying to not identify with anything.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Try to have just like an open, clean slate, because I feel like that allows me to be more open to receive, because when you start putting yourself in little boxes, like mom, wife, podcaster, outreach.
Speaker 3:It limits you.
Speaker 1:And that's where I think the whole like I need to be doing this more. I need to be. That's where the need you feel so pulled in different directions.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because you've already labeled yourself as this thing.
Speaker 1:I'm a hostess, I'm hosting holidays, so I have to make everything grandiose. No, you really don't. You're welcoming people into your home. You don't have to be like, it doesn't have to be all of it, right, and I think that I've really. I mean, it's a constant, it's every day. Stop identifying with little things, yeah, and it just allows it to be more open and fluid, rather than I'm just moving from one bucket to the other bucket.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know. Or setting yourself up for disappointment when it doesn't happen the way that you've labeled it should happen and we only get disappointed when we what Set an expectation.
Speaker 1:Yeah disappointed when we what Set an expectation. So it's like and even for my kids and my family, my marriage, my coworkers, like setting expectations is like the most toxic trait, because it's so self-sabotaging, because, like most of the time, no one else knows what our expectations are anyway. Like let's just face that, like, yeah, so we're doing it to ourselves, yeah, and so it's really interesting because I mean, we've all been around or seen, like had a teacher or a mentor, like maybe not a mentor a family member or someone that sets crazy expectations out there, right, and do we ever feel like we're going to live up to them?
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 1:Do we ever feel like we are worthy of even catching. But where does that come from? Like we said, it comes from their own stuff. Right, if you find that it's like a big and this is just something to look out for out there. If you have someone in your life that is an expectation setter and it's like you know it has to be this way it has to be. That is an expectation setter and it's like you know it has to be this way, that is their stuff. Yeah, that is their stuff. You are seen, you are heard, you are validated. Let that be their stuff.
Speaker 1:But there are a lot of relationships where it's very hard because it could be a parent, it could be a spouse, it could be a child, you know, whatever Someone in your life you can't necessarily get away from Right, but you have to manage to work through it and for me, that's been the biggest thing is like, even for myself, like stop and I'm. I feel like I've gotten really good about not setting expectations for like life, but I obviously still do it in some realm, but I with myself so hard oh, yeah, so hard same, so hard to not have an expectation.
Speaker 1:We're conditioned, at least here to.
Speaker 3:we go into school and there's immediately expectations. You know, sit down and be quiet. In America, I don't ever know.
Speaker 1:I know Because you have listeners all over the world, I know.
Speaker 3:But yeah, in America we go into school at six years, five Pre-K starts at four and there's expectations, and so we internalize that and we learn. Expectations are external. It's what somebody expects of me versus what am I feeling? How do I like this? Do I like this? Does?
Speaker 1:this work for me. Does it feel good?
Speaker 3:It's like and you're also taught like you know as kids, when it's like well, I don't want to do this, I don't want to participate, like that's bad.
Speaker 2:You're bad, you're naughty.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah. You're rebellious, like if you talk in class like oh, he's too chatty.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Like I think you know what that does to kids' little.
Speaker 1:Right Shuts them down. Forethroat chakras yeah, I know.
Speaker 3:Tatum used wow yeah, that's why she's gone in death.
Speaker 1:It literally closed up, I think we've all seen that real.
Speaker 3:That's like the troublemakers in class are the leaders in nature. When the teacher takes them out in nature, I'm like yeah, because there's no expectation out there.
Speaker 1:It is do what feels good and they are brave like wild little spirits, and, yeah, I could do a whole series on outdated systems.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, yes, especially like not to get into religion, but for me, religion was a big part of like. Feelings are bad, yeah, and so it was like, regardless of what the feeling is, it's bad, so why?
Speaker 1:is that, though? What's the explanation behind that? Because I'm not very religious.
Speaker 3:So one of the biggest scriptures that I was taught from, probably like six years old is your heart is deceitful above all things. What, above all things, is your heart is deceitful.
Speaker 1:That is written, yes, that's wild.
Speaker 3:But there's also a scripture that says from your heart floweth your life. So it's like-.
Speaker 1:So that kind of contradicts each other.
Speaker 3:Well, the Bible contradicts itself in a lot of ways, which kind of was like the. But I was always a child that was like does that mean Right, but why? And you know. So I had big feelings as a kid, yeah, and I was taught that those were bad Unless they aligned with everyone around you, right.
Speaker 2:Right, Stop. Well, and that asking you were taught that asking why is bad too. Yeah, Like, why does it say this? Why is it this?
Speaker 3:way Right and it was like I'm not trying to offend anyone, I'm just genuinely, and you got shut down and then you had to get throat surgery as an adult. I know I'm like they say Cain killed Abel and then a group of people killed them. But like, where did the group of people come from? There was only Adam and Eve, cain and Abel, I don't know, anyway, and how did the rest of?
Speaker 3:the society get here, Did they fuck their mom? We're all related. Okay, there was lots of questions, but it was like, I'm sorry, I said it I never.
Speaker 1:They lost me there they lost me there.
Speaker 3:They lost me there, I'm out.
Speaker 1:No one could ever answer the question.
Speaker 3:But it was religion, a lot of feelings. Feelings are bad because they can't they can't control feelings. So it's like if we can beat that out of you now I can get you where I want you. And I just bucked the system the whole way. But I will say to people listening if you can look up abraham hicks yeah, oh, my god, god, oh yes.
Speaker 2:Well, that's a big.
Speaker 3:Thing.
Speaker 1:Okay, yes, because we have time.
Speaker 2:Oh, we're good Because we've been talking for five hours.
Speaker 3:No, we're good we're in the astral realm, no, but that's a whole new podcast.
Speaker 2:Yes, abraham Hicks, talk about that more.
Speaker 3:So for me, coming from, feelings are bad. Shut them down to. Feeling is what creates your reality was like, well, wait a minute. And it took me months and probably it would not take all of you months to get to get this, but it was a lot of conditioning that I had to break to even listen to it.
Speaker 3:I felt shameful. I would listen to it in secret, like I turn it down as low as I can put my headphones on, like what if someone finds me listening to this? Because it went totally against my religious upbringing. But then when I started practicing it, I was like, but wait, this works. Yeah, your heart is not deceitful. Above all things, it's actually what creates your life.
Speaker 1:And compassion and like where's the compassion in that? Like aren't we supposed? To be like unconditionally, yeah like, but that was that's the reason I.
Speaker 3:Another reason I think that things organized stuff just doesn't click with me well, is like there's so many rules I'm not a big role person spiritualism your faith is very personal so it's hard to say your faith has to look like this yeah, because it is so structured, it's like so dichotomous. Yeah, like there's like my whole language. When I came out of my 20s, my whole language was that was was what I was taught to speak. I was like this isn't me. This is just what I've been so.
Speaker 1:How do you feel now and how has that shifted for you?
Speaker 3:You know, I was always called rebellious growing up and I was because I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing and I thought that was bad. And that's where a lot of my shame came from was because it was like these people said I was bad. But when I look back I'm like but what I was actually doing was bad, I was just finding myself.
Speaker 1:And you were doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing, because you wouldn't be here doing what you're doing now if you hadn't done that Right, and that's what I think is huge for people to understand. Like whatever part of your life, your journey, wherever you are, it's happening the way it's supposed to happen. For what's going to happen next.
Speaker 2:Oh my God. Yeah, I love that you said that, because I feel like all the time I just whether it's like my friends or family, whatever anybody stuck in their own head, it's like, well, what if I make the wrong choice?
Speaker 3:I'm like you can't, you literally can't. I remember when you told me that for the first time, I was like oh yeah, that feels so good. Yeah, yeah, you're like, but you can't make the wrong choice. And you're like whoa, yeah, wow, that takes a lot of pressure off. Yeah, it's actually a really good book.
Speaker 1:I think it's called what Should Danny Do. It's a really good kids book, but I feel like we need one for adults, because it starts out and it's like, okay, well, if he makes this choice, it gives scenarios. Well, if he makes this choice, turn to this page. If he makes this choice turn to this page.
Speaker 1:If he makes this choice, turn to this page and it shows like the different scenarios, whether he faces it with compassion or faces it with, you know, resistance, and I mean the book could go on forever and it is kind of long. But I was like, oh my god, someone needs to create an adult book like this. It's a lot of work because back and forth, but it was really interesting because it shows you it's okay.
Speaker 1:In some days you're going to make choices, or even Did you ever feel like you have days where you're rebellious against yourself? Yes, I want to do this, but you know what I'm not going to.
Speaker 3:Okay. You really showed us.
Speaker 1:I feel like there's a lot of times but it's like but those days are fine and it goes back to that four agreements book. It's like knowing that your best one day is different and like every day is going to be different. So having that grace and compassion and unconditional love for yourself along the way is huge.
Speaker 2:Especially for women, sorry.
Speaker 3:No no.
Speaker 2:Men, okay, I'm so glad you said that, because men are on a 24 hour cycle. Oh yeah, Women are on a 28 to 32 to 35, whatever day cycle. So, having grace for yourself and real like where you're at in your different phases, your different four phases of your cycle, I mean there's like your ovulatory phase, there's your luteal phase, molecular, your menstrual like workouts aren't going to look the same.
Speaker 3:Activities aren't going to feel the same.
Speaker 2:You're not going to want to schedule meetings for certain days, like and it all goes back to the expectations thing Like I'm going to do this workout for an hour every single day. Well, that's actually not even good for you. No, it's not good for you.
Speaker 1:Right yeah, when I started cycle syncing and learning more about that, which I didn't start doing until I was like 38 years old, this is the stuff we should be teaching our young girls. Yes 100% and even our men, because then they will understand.
Speaker 3:Yes, the cycle. I'm crazy certain weeks of the month or yes.
Speaker 2:There are just certain weeks.
Speaker 1:You walk in, you give a hug, you, pat on the back, you order takeout and you don't ask any freaking questions, yeah, yeah. But I mean we and I think that this is where we can come far as a society is educating ourselves more on these things, because it's like going back to like in school and like empowering people and teaching them what we really need and nurturing us as humans, instead of just like memorizing a bunch of stuff yeah, yeah, I totally agree.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like how to have healthy hormones, balance your hormones, balance your nervous system. You don't have to just like undo all this damage right years later because your nervous system. You don't have to just like undo all this damage years later because your nervous system was so like tight gripped onto everything like fight or flight forever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean hormones. If everyone can learn about hormones from a young age, they control everything in your body, everything Like your neurological function, your endocrine function, everything yeah.
Speaker 3:You would be more accepting of yourself. I think you would have more grace if you knew like, scientifically, some things are out of my control right now. Right, so I need to just understand, because sometimes we're like, no, I need to just work hard enough through this feeling.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because your ego is like oh well, if you, if you've started to say to yourself like well scientifically your ego would be like well is that just an excuse? Are you just being crazy? You know, yeah, a hundred percent.
Speaker 1:I mean Matt and I got the brain scans. Perfect example when we got the science behind what was going on in our brains individually, then as a couple. It saved our freaking marriage.
Speaker 3:I did because I understood my patterns.
Speaker 1:He understood what was going on with him and it was like, oh my gosh, we all of a sudden had so much more grace and compassion for each other because we got to the root of it, and I think that that and I really feel like right now we have this like movement like our generation is really bringing in, like get down to the root and the science behind it and get the root of the issue rather, than like brushing it off, and empathy for people understanding like.
Speaker 3:Just like I, have things that created me and my limiting beliefs. Others I don't know what other people have been through that caused them to react in such a way that I disapprove of.
Speaker 1:Right or that I found offensive or I found rude Right. Yes, you know. Yeah, there was a little lady. I was at UTC. There was a little lady behind me in traffic yesterday and the whole row in front of me was out into the middle of the intersection, right.
Speaker 3:So they were already blocking the road. You can't go anywhere and she's like honking at me to go.
Speaker 1:I'm like, where do you want me to go? Where am I going to go? If I pull up, I'm going to be blocking. We would be blocking both ways cycle. And she's still honking. She's still. And I'm like, wow, she must really have to go potty.
Speaker 2:She must really have to go potty, or something because I mean, can she clearly not see that?
Speaker 3:I just I like to be a courteous driver. Anyway, I feel like it's a car I always like to let people in.
Speaker 2:I like to let people get in the other way, because I'm infamous for being that person in the lane that I'm like I need to get across.
Speaker 3:Please let me yeah me too, rolling the window down. Thank you, I'm like telling Savannah, I'm like wave to them. Your kids are great at helping you get through traffic.
Speaker 1:But I really deny her. Yeah, but it's like I in another life. I would have been like, oh man, like why are you honking at me? You know?
Speaker 2:what.
Speaker 1:I mean, or I would have pulled up and been rushing the people in front of me Like we weren't going anywhere.
Speaker 3:Right Like we weren't going anywhere. Cow in the Parking Lot is a good book for that. Cow in the Parking Lot yes, it's about like anger and understanding other people's. Specifically, traffic is kind of where the book starts off.
Speaker 1:I love it. Everyone's had some sort of road rage incident if you're a licensed driver, but it's really just an outlet Like this opportunity is presenting me a release of these emotions.
Speaker 3:This situation isn't really the problem.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:It's all the stuff I have. It's coming alive in me.
Speaker 1:And that's just it.
Speaker 3:But having the awareness to learn that about yourself is huge and that's probably been like the most eye opening just the awareness part which I think as a collective, for you're talking about us being a nine year not to jump, but I think endings bring awareness because it makes you reflect on what is happening and what is stopping and what's. So it's like if this is ending, which, for me, like my nine year, was good because there were things I wanted to end, so it's like if this is ending, which, for me, like my nine year, was good because there were things I wanted to end.
Speaker 3:So it was like I was trying to find out, like how do I end these limiting beliefs? But I think as a collective there's a lot of limiting beliefs that are ending too hopefully. You know, I think, at least in my world.
Speaker 1:People are going to take this a lot of different ways. If you think about it, we're going to have a new president again this year right, yeah, like right yeah but if we can look at it as like an opportunistic ending rather than a like you know, the fog, the drones, the president, like everyone's out to get us and I think it's just coming from that like it's not a victim, like we're. Not all victims here we're, we're all here to like, evolve and grow, create heaven on earth, like I truly believe that I'm like.
Speaker 3:That's one thing I do truly believe for my religious upbringing. It's like that we and all religions actually have this in their texts that we are here to create heaven on earth, and I think I don't know what job we're doing, but I feel like I'm trying my best in my own world.
Speaker 1:In my own world. Yes, I think that's.
Speaker 3:And that's all we can really do. Yeah, you know, and I think I think we all contribute oh 100%.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean 100%, just like we were saying earlier, like we're, it's like that Find your, find your vibe tribe yeah.
Speaker 2:Or Pam.
Speaker 1:Like we lady that we all see, and that was one thing, like the first visit with her she was like you were thinking, in black and white I'm like what. I was even wearing black and white that day, I'm not kidding like a white shirt, like in black blue shorts. And it's funny because I obviously I try not to wear black and white too much with my guy. I mean it's black.
Speaker 2:Well, it's like um you're.
Speaker 1:You're thinking in black and white. You need to find your vibe tribe because I was like all or nothing and it was like I need to do this. I'm on my own path, like, and it was like no, you're not.
Speaker 1:And the more people you bring in your circle that make you feel good and the more you kind of let go of that make you not. Yeah, that you know. Getting back to you know not everyone can make you feel it, but if you are feeling a certain way around a certain crowd, somebody, honor that. Whether it's good, bad, indifferent, null and void, but honor it and have the awareness to kind of soul search and just like this is okay and that I can choose my feeling For me.
Speaker 3:I was like, oh, that sounds fun, that sounds like I want to do that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can choose to look at things differently.
Speaker 3:Realizing the reason you want the things you want isn't for the thing, it's for the feeling. And realizing I can have that feeling now. I don't have to wait for that I love it. It's like I can do that.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, you actually are allowed. Actually can, but I?
Speaker 3:think there's so many distractions in our society.
Speaker 2:And I'm not saying it's intentional Well, maybe.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because I do think our power does come from within. And if you don't spend your time in the mornings deciding who you're going to be and who you're going to connect to and here's my energy for today and here's my feeling for today of course, things happen throughout the day, but when I do do my morning rituals, it is a totally different day than when I just wake up and start like check my phone.
Speaker 1:I'm cooking breakfast.
Speaker 3:I'm doing all these things it's like I I'm almost being led right versus leading right and you can do that anytime like you can.
Speaker 1:You can reset. You can, yeah, right, but when you get in your quiet car you can do it then like okay, or when you know, it doesn't have to be like right in the morning.
Speaker 3:You can do it at any time during your day, because I do think people think like well, it's, it's gone, so I'll try tomorrow, or I can't meditate, no.
Speaker 1:Focusing like putting your hand over your tummy and your hand over your heart for like eight breaths. That's a meditation, yeah.
Speaker 3:Right, you could be at work and go in the bathroom for five minutes and just take right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I do that when I'm at my fundraising events.
Speaker 3:I need a minute. You have to Every time before I go on stage. I do the same prayer.
Speaker 2:And I don't always have time to wake up and do it and slowly do it. I mean, I make time during the cocktail hour where everyone else is busy and I escape for a second and I literally go in the bathroom and put my palms up and just do my thing for 90 seconds and it instantly shifts you 100%. It's all you need sometimes, yeah.
Speaker 1:At around big energy events, especially too, oh yes, which, like they always are, there's always 500 people.
Speaker 2:I'm the one who's like going on stage to be this channel to either like raise this money or not raise the money.
Speaker 1:Like you know and I don't let that scare me I'm like okay, and yeah, and so that's, like always, my prayer.
Speaker 2:Like I put my palms up and they start to tingle, which, by the way, they've been tingling since we've been sitting here and talking. Oh, I love it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like majorly tingling it is, I love it. Nothing like a threesome without a tingle, nothing like a threesome, without a tingle.
Speaker 2:No lotion needed. I was like crystal, crystal. What am I sitting there Like don't care anymore, all right. So if there's one thing starting this year off, kicking this year, things that you want before they happen, like if you're looking at your vision board and they're like just words on a page to you or it's just images and you don't connect to what that feels like, you won't become a match to attract it. Yes, so if you're doing something like that, like it's awesome. Jake and I sat and made vision boards the other night.
Speaker 3:Have the feeling before it's here.
Speaker 2:Have the feeling, before you get the thing, like look at those things and, okay, what does it feel like to be there in that place that I have a picture of on my board, or what does it feel like to-.
Speaker 3:Be that version of yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, be that version of yourself, and then the universe doesn't know the difference of whether that's real or fake, it just knows that you're a match for it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I love that. Yeah, oh, that's a good one.
Speaker 3:That's my best so to piggyback on that, because I totally believe that and for me, I always heard that and was like, yes, it resonated with me immediately. But there were limiting beliefs that kept me from that future version and I had to resolve those. And maybe this isn't for everybody, but for me I had to resolve them before I could find my new identity. I had to, but I didn't want to because I don't feel good Right, Like saying like I don't feel abundant, I don't feel worthy, I don't feel confident, so, but I had to go into a year of like why, you know?
Speaker 3:before I could get there and not everybody, I think, has to do that, but I did before. I could like finish that and then say, okay, now how do I want to feel? But I had to identify what that feeling was because I haven't felt those things before. So it was like describe in detail what you think that would feel like, or listen to people that you think embody those feelings and describe what they're showing, what kind of feeling like. Oh, they are showing that they're very confident. They don't care what anyone thinks about, what they look like, they don't think you know like. So it was like okay, we'll start to feel those things.
Speaker 3:And I noticed having self-awareness of like my internal self, my internal dialogue, was not lining up with, like when I wasn't intentionally thinking I would default to my old life. Right, because that's just, and it's not like, oh, your body's trying to sabotage, that's just what it's always known. And so I had to also recognize this. Isn't like your body trying to self-sabotage, it's just trying to like maintain status quo it's a brain, but it's a neurological.
Speaker 1:It's literally you have to literally create new synapses.
Speaker 2:And if it was?
Speaker 3:easy. You would have already done it a million times over. So, like I think, for me putting an intentional time every day to go. How do you want to think today? And I, I personally have phone reminders on my phone at two times during the day to go. How was your thinking?
Speaker 2:Because I don't?
Speaker 3:because if I don't, I just go right back into status quo Especially.
Speaker 3:I think I the school break was good for me because it kind of gave me that time. But when school starts back for me, you go back into your normal life and it's like you get up. At this time the kids have to be here, you go to the gym, you just, and so your thinking is just like your subconscious is doing its thing, it's like, no, I'm going to tell it what we're thinking and you can do things differently, even when school starts. Yeah, yes, so I'm hoping I've started that.
Speaker 2:Oh my, God, yes, a hundred percent. Well, and that's like it's like the snapping the rubber band, like I'm willing to see this differently.
Speaker 3:That's kind of what the alarm is for me Like you know, where have you been thinking in the last five hours? Yeah, okay, like, well, then let's just get back on track and has your day been in?
Speaker 1:alignment with that, and I think that that's what I want to piggyback on both of those with is for everyone to know that every day is a new day, every hour is a new hour, every minute is a new minute. You can reset at any time. Yeah, period. Yeah. If you started the year arguing with someone that you love or someone that you don't, you know eating a whole bag of Oreos because yourself.
Speaker 2:I don't know, you're going through something hungover, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:It doesn't mean your whole year has to be that way. It means like, guess what, in 10 minutes you can do things differently. You can start over anytime. Whatever that means Like at any point, and I think that this goes back to the all or nothing. I have to tell myself this so much, depending on what it is, or you know where I'm going in my day, because I think we get into our routine, which I'm, you know. I like routine, but I'm also really starting to love embracing more change and not having as much as a routine and just kind of like.
Speaker 1:I'm just going to wing it today and see what I feel like and honor what I feel like feels right for me today. Yeah, so that's just something that I think is super pivotal when you're setting your goals Know that any time you can reset yes, like at any point in time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I love that. And we've all had to do it a million times without even acknowledging and that's another challenge to go back and think of it, cause this is a big win, not even a little win. Go back and think of the times you have reset, you know. Think of, you know just things you did last week, like oh wow, I did this and I did that, or like and celebrate the wins. I think that we all need to get more used to celebrating what we have done and what we have accomplished and what we you know and it doesn't have to be big things, it could be. You know, I maintained my sanity during my kids being home.
Speaker 2:Well, right, yeah, not just the action resets but like the thinking resets. Like every time you do that each day like, wow, nicole, I just shifted my vibration from you know like negative spiral to you know a different way to see it.
Speaker 1:Right, and the more that we do that, we literally rewire our brains and if we just celebrate like, celebrate yourself. So you know what you guys Thank you for tuning in today. My girlfriend's here Love them. We're going to go on the road with this one day and keep you guys posted.
Speaker 1:Oh that would be fun we're going to let them in on the real thing. We're going to let them in, but seriously, do you go into this year celebrating yourself, celebrating your life, no matter where you are, and just own it, own it all and thank you, ladies so much for being here, love you.
Speaker 3:This was fun.
Speaker 1:Love you Peace.