Krystel Clear
In this podcast you will experience my unique approach to healing, happiness and following my souls purpose. My intention is to provide a platform that aims to guide and support individuals on their journey towards personal growth, inner healing, spiritual enlightenment or just taking the right steps to reach your highest potential!
My goal is to create a thought provoking, safe and nurturing space for listeners to explore various topics. Healing, self-discovery, mindfulness, wellness, empowerment, accountability, the raw truths of life, love and overcoming everyday obstacles.
I will have my tribe of healing coaches, doctors, colleagues and peers joining me to discuss their journeys in hopes of bringing enlightenment and empowerment to your world.
Life can be messy so let’s talk about that and the worthiness, forgiveness and compassion it takes to face our darkness and shine our light!
I hope this podcast validates your feelings, gives you the permission needed to share your voice, speak your truth and navigate your own journey with strength and perseverance.
**This podcast does not supplement any mental health or medical advice from practitioners. It’s a guiding tool providing resources from my own personal life experiences. The intention is to shed light and love onto the lives of others. You are not alone**
Krystel Clear
Taylor Brewster's Hidden Answers to Unexplained Infertility
What happens when you've tried everything to get pregnant and nothing works? Taylor Brewster, owner of Fresh Salon in downtown Sarasota, shares her deeply personal five-year struggle with unexplained infertility in this moving conversation about persistence, medical advocacy, and finding answers in unexpected places.
From the beginning of her marriage at 25, Taylor knew something wasn't right when pregnancy didn't happen naturally. Despite being young, fit, and seemingly healthy, she faced a frustrating journey through conventional fertility treatments. Four unsuccessful rounds of intrauterine insemination, a diagnosis of endometriosis, and constant pressure to pursue expensive IVF treatments led to anxiety, physical symptoms, and emotional exhaustion. All while watching friends and family around her celebrate pregnancies and births.
The turning point came through an unlikely source—a Reddit comment that introduced her to reproductive immunology, a specialized field with only five practitioners in the United States. Testing revealed what mainstream fertility specialists had missed: her body was producing antibodies that attacked her own ovaries, along with multiple clotting disorders affecting implantation. With a precisely targeted treatment protocol addressing her immune system rather than pumping her full of hormones, Taylor conceived naturally just two cycles later.
This episode explores not just the medical journey, but the profound emotional impact of infertility on relationships, identity, and mental health. Taylor's husband emerges as the unexpected hero, stepping up to nurture and support her through the darkest moments. Their story offers hope to the many couples facing similar struggles, highlighting alternative pathways when conventional medicine fails to provide answers.
Listen, share, and join the conversation about breaking taboos around infertility. Taylor's courage in sharing her story might just provide the missing piece for someone else's journey to parenthood.
Thank you for joining me today. Please know that this podcast and the information shared is not to replace or supplement any mental health or personal wellness modalities provided by practitioners. It’s simply me, sharing my personal experiences and I appreciate you respecting and honoring my story and my guests. If something touched your heart please feel free to like, share and subscribe. Have a beautiful day full of gratitude, compassion and unconditional love.
What's up everyone, welcome to this episode of Crystal Clear. I have a beautiful, stunning my favorite Gingy. Owner of Fresh Salon, downtown Sarasota boutique owner, wife and now a brand new mommy, mrs Taylor Brewster. Welcome, taylor, hi. Thank you so much for having me on. Of course, I mean Taylor, and I met what? Probably five years ago now, because Brody's almost five and you know, when you sit, she is the creative hair artist behind my blonde locks of all different shapes and sizes. When you sit with someone in a chair and I realized this when I was a fitness trainer like you you get to know them on a different level for the hours and hours that we spend together.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, it's way beyond hair, it's way beyond hair and it's really a special bond that like when you find your person, and I don't really like to switch people, although we we made it work when she went on maternity leave.
Speaker 2:It worked out great.
Speaker 1:I had a really good sub person for a little while. Now she's pregnant and so I'm going to be shifting back. There's a lot going on in the water at Fresh, so when you go to Fresh Salon be careful what to drink.
Speaker 1:But we really got to know each other on really deep levels and you know me, me I'm personable anyway, but I just I really appreciate you holding space for me. I mean, of course, we started out when I had just dove into, like what the f is like supposed to be like now after postpartum, and you're what, how old is Murph now? Three months, three months, okay, so three months old. So you know, I mean, you know exactly, and it was like I didn't know, up from down and all around and dealing with my own body, my mind, my spirit, my marriage, all the things. So we'll, we'll back it up a little bit and just tell us a little bit about Fresh, like you bought the salon last year while you were pregnant.
Speaker 2:So my business partner and I we've been a part of the company for 10 years now and we both started as associates. So we started at the bottom of the barrel, worked our way up, built our clientele, became master stylists and then we just had the opportunity this year to take over and purchase the business. And then I found out 10 days before we closed that I was pregnant. That was interesting, it's like two babies at once.
Speaker 2:It all happened how it was supposed to, so it's been amazing and just such a blessing and a learning experience. I'm sure?
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, yeah, your husband owns a business right down the street.
Speaker 2:So you've done the whole business ownership thing. But this is a little different ballgame. Yeah, and like in life, you think you have a specific threshold, but when more things come along, you build endurance and you just like find a way to get through. So it's cool. When you think it's too much, it's usually not Right.
Speaker 1:You just got to figure it out too much for older versions of you, but now you're new and you're a mom, so just wait, sister, just wait. And there's, I'm sure, been ebbs and flows and ups and downs. I love the rebrand of Fresh. It is just so fun and just like modern, but still like. It's just such a good vibe, like you walk in and it's just I don't know. It's beautiful, I love it, I love the plants. And then you have a little boutique off to the side, so tell us a little bit about that as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so gosh 2022,. I started an e-commerce boutique business with my sister-in-law, so that's been running strong for a couple of years now, and when I purchased the salon, we were able to have the opportunity to turn that into more of a brick and mortar, so it's been great. It's a fun addition.
Speaker 1:It's always fun to be able to touch and feel, and I know in my busy life sometimes it's hard to be like, oh, I need to go check out this website, and so to have it in front of you is like ooh Right. I need that. I know I really don't need that, but I'm going to get it anyway.
Speaker 2:And then when I get home, I'm going to purge something.
Speaker 1:So my new thing is I know I don't need it, but I'm going to buy it anyway. But I'm going to make sure I purge something when I get home, so that way I need to do that? Yeah, it's been.
Speaker 1:I did that this week and actually I went through, pulled out all of my I just did one section at a time, just for sanity's sake. All my dresses, I pulled them all out, I tried them all on. I'm like where, well, is it a little too snug, because maybe it might fit a little better, and like you know. So just just balancing what I need, what I want how many times have I worn this? How many times I had pictures in this, you know?
Speaker 1:and then you kind of purge it, yeah, I think I was really inspired by the spark fashion show last week to get rid of stuff because it goes to such a great cause.
Speaker 2:So it was like that helped.
Speaker 1:I think like oh, it's not just going to anyone, it's going to these women. That really you know, need assistance. So, as we mentioned, you know we have gotten to know each other on a deeper level and we've grown together, I mean the past five years we've gone through.
Speaker 1:You know I've started businesses. You know all the things that we're sitting here trying. I think I'm gonna start a podcast or I think I'm gonna do this, I think I'm gonna do that and it's really been a beautiful ebb and flow. Meanwhile, we also discussed a lot of what was going on with us health wise. You know, as I mentioned postpartum, and you know, understanding my PTSD and the brain scans. I mean, you were one of the only people that I was like super open with that to begin with, because it's like sitting there, I might as well talk about it.
Speaker 1:So, you know, I feel like we've, we were able to relate to each other on different levels with things we were going through, and I know that you had a special intention today or wanting to come on the podcast and really share your journey, so I will let you begin wherever you'd like, it's National Infertility Awareness Week, april 20th, and I felt like this was the perfect outlet to talk about my infertility journey.
Speaker 2:So we really appreciate you having me on, because I feel like if I can even just help one person with my story, like it just would mean the world to me, because I know every emotion and physical hardship that comes with infertility. So I really appreciate being here. Yeah, so, gosh, I guess I'll just start from the beginning. But 2019, my husband and I got married and, you know, you're in marital bliss and everything's fantastic. Life is good. He had just purchased his business, and so that was awesome. We were motivated, pumped. We do have a bit of an age gap. He's 15 years older than me, so right off the bat, we were like, let's just stop preventing and see what happens, even if it takes six months, whatever. I was 25 at the time, so I'm like, oh, it'll be perfect timing. So, yeah, we just got to it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we just got to it and six months went by and I started to think, you know, I just like feel deep down, like something is up, I feel like something is not right because I didn't even have, you know, a late period or a positive pregnancy test. So, um, I mean, you were really fit and healthy at the time, so it wasn't like you had any type of alarming exterior like to look at you. You were totally completely fit, healthy, 25 year old.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I've always prioritized my health and being active, and so it was very discouraging because you know I'm out here taking care of myself and you know there's drug users that accidentally get pregnant and you know you just ask yourself why me? You know it really sucks. But so I booked an appointment with my OB and typically OBs if you're under, I think, 30, they won't even talk to you until it's been a year about infertility. So I fibbed a little bit and I said you know it's been a year, we've been trying and just nothing's happened.
Speaker 2:So they ran all the preliminary testing hormone testing, thyroid, you know all the typical egg reserve. They checked my tubes to see if they were clogged with anything. They were good to go and then when my OB could no longer help me, they sent me off to a fertility specialist in Tampa. So they did a sperm analysis on my husband and they kind of did some more blood tests on me and they were like, yeah, you're pretty much perfect on paper. We have no idea why this isn't happening for you. So you know I asked about endometriosis because my whole life I've had excruciating cycles Like I can't tell you how much school I missed in high school and that's not normal, no, no. And doctors would just say, oh, just take a few ibuprofen, you're okay, you know. And now, knowing that I do have endometriosis, uh, it takes a woman on average seven years to get diagnosed, which is alarming and that's modern day protocol.
Speaker 1:Yeah Right, medical gaslighting. I know my body. I'm telling you, something is wrong with my body and you are not hearing me, which is, for me, the ultimate trigger. Like you're not hearing me, you're not understanding. Like I'm telling you it is not. And I think that's one thing that really gets me is like okay, this might be on paper norm, but on paper norm isn't even norm. Like it's not, it's what we've settled for, it's what things have digressed to medically, honestly, from different perspectives.
Speaker 2:And unfortunately, women's bodies are not researched as much as they should be, so they don't know as much as they should about these types of things. And so my husband and I, after the fertility specialist, recommended IUI, that's intrauterine insemination. So we did four medicated rounds of that and that's where they essentially control your cycle. They trigger your ovulation, they find the perfect hour to inseminate you. It's like a whole process Sounds sexy.
Speaker 1:Sounds real sexy, super sexy. It sounds really sexy yeah.
Speaker 2:My husband rubbing one out in the morning is just great.
Speaker 1:Say hello, guys, we're on our way. Come on, guys, you got it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we did four rounds of that and let me just tell you the hormones you have to take, just the medications that they give you. It truly like you're not yourself and it you gain weight, you just feel terrible.
Speaker 1:It's a shock to your system because it's all at once right, right and your cycles were essentially normal, other than like the pain.
Speaker 2:So normal, just pain. I mean I was throwing up passing out and this is from a young teenager.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, from like two cycles in. Oh wow, I was probably I don't know 13, 13, 14. Yeah, it's been insane since then, and so that alone. So we did the four rounds of IUI and you know, I asked the specialist. I was like, hey, listen, like I've had really really painful cycles my whole entire life. Can we please kind of look into endometriosis, like could that possibly be the cause of my infertility? And they were like, oh no, just keep doing a couple more IUIs. The odds of you getting pregnant with IUIs is a lot higher than endometriosis.
Speaker 2:And I was like okay, if the science says so, you know. But my pain was still being dismissed and it was just so frustrating. So after the four IUIs didn't work, I was like, all right, there's got to be something. I need to look into getting surgery for endometriosis because no matter what a doctor says to you, truly it can only be diagnosed with surgery. So they won't know if you have it until they're in there. So that was our next plan of action.
Speaker 2:I went through a laparoscopic surgery. It was really, really hard. I had like a solid two weeks where I was bedridden. My husband had to shower me. Like it was very humbling. Oh my gosh. Yeah, it was everywhere.
Speaker 2:Once they got in there, it was on both of my ovaries behind my uterus. Was it like cysts? Ovaries behind my uterus Is it like cysts? So endometriosis is essentially uterine tissue that grows outside of the uterus. So they don't know why it happens, but essentially, when you have your cycle, that tissue leaves the normal way, how it's supposed to With endometriosis. It can go back up through your tubes and implant on other organs. So it's not a reproductive disease. They've found endometriosis on brain tissue. They've found it on heart tissue. It truly can travel anywhere in the body, which is terrifying because so many women have it and it can affect so many different systems in the body. So I was very thankful that they removed all of it from my body and my doctor in Orlando he's a specialist and he does more of excision surgery, where they completely cut it out rather than just burning it. Sometimes doctors will do ablation and it just grows back. I feel like that would leave scar tissue as well, right? So, um, we got all of that out of my body and I was like this is it? Like this is the cause of my infertility? Um, I immediately my first cycle. He was like you know, your first cycle after it's going to be really painful because you're healing, blah, blah, blah. My first cycle was amazing. I, yeah, and I'm like just having that out of my body, I felt so much better. My brain was clearer, my hormones just felt more level, more balanced. Like I, my gastrointestinal system was better, so much was better, and I was like this is it you know we're going to get pregnant now? Like this was the cause. So, a year goes by, I'm still not pregnant.
Speaker 2:The fertility clinic is hounding me to do IVF. They're like you know, it's your only answer, even though you only have a 60% chance of it working, because we don't know what's wrong with you and I'm like, no, I'm not going to do something so invasive. Which IUI was hard enough? Ivf, gosh anyone. That's the difference, okay. So IVF, you is way more invasive. So they put you on all these hormones, all these medications. They make you have like a super ovulation, um, they put you through surgery to collect your eggs from your body and then they fertilize the egg in a lab, okay, and then they implant it inside of you Even sexier, yeah right, it's really fabulous for people that are trying to sort out certain genetic disorders like breast cancer.
Speaker 2:The BRCA gene. I have some friends who have done IVF to make sure that their children don't have that.
Speaker 1:Which is like medical miracle stuff. Like not to discount the fact that this is great for certain special populations, but also not necessarily for everyone.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So a year goes by and the fertility clinic is still hounding me to do IVF and I'm just like I don't want to do this. I don't feel good about this. It doesn't feel right. You know why am I going to spend all this money doing IVF when you can't give me even a diagnosis? So I absolutely lost my mind. You know I developed an anxiety disorder. You know, when you're going through something like that, we're biologically built to reproduce and when you can't do that as a woman, you just feel so broken. And I went through a chapter where you know I had probably four or five friends and family members get pregnant within a five week period. And as much as you say like, oh my gosh, I'm so happy for you, like you can be so happy for someone and still feel so, so sorry for yourself, and it really affected a lot of my relationships with friends and family. You know you start to feel like people are outgrowing you, outgrowing your relationship.
Speaker 1:Or even timid and scared to be around you, like they don't want to share their news because they don't want to hurt you or or you know like just kind of like, it's like you can be yourself around me, but then again it's like but I don't want to be around you.
Speaker 2:I could see the push pull and that would be so difficult, right, because I want to be a part of your life. You know you're going through something so fabulous. I can still feel sorry for myself on my own, but like I want to hear about your, your kid, you know. And then, yeah, it really affects your friendships as well, because you're no longer like, oh, hey, let's go to the bar Saturday night. It's like, hey, when I go for a walk around Marina Jack with our babies you know they're really not right now, yeah, you're just in a different chapter with people and it's hard because you were what late 20s at this point.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And so that's that. It's like the baby boom, yeah.
Speaker 2:Almost yeah.
Speaker 1:And so that's that. It's like the baby boom phase almost of life. It's like every. I could imagine that that's really hard, plus being in the salon all the time, so you're surrounded by women constantly talking about their families and all the things.
Speaker 2:Which I have to tell you, speaking with so many women on a daily basis. It's insane how common infertility is right now and it's so sad and heartbreaking. Miscarriage, I think, has gone from one in four to one in three now.
Speaker 2:And I can't tell you why I'm not a doctor or a scientist but I know it's terrible and it's so hard in a physical aspect but also an emotional aspect. It's just there's no telling like how you should navigate that because everyone's experience is different. But yeah, so I absolutely lost my mind. I I did five months of acupuncture. I did every diet you can imagine. I got in the best shape of my life. I tried literally everything. I cut out gluten.
Speaker 2:I cut out it actually put me in a place where I was even more anxious than before because, I was like I I've got to find the answer. I'm such an analytical person and I have to know the why for everything, and it's greatly benefited me in my life. But it's also caused me a lot of anxiety too, because when I don't know that why, I'm like I just feel so lost.
Speaker 1:It's like, honestly it's, it sounds like it's almost like a form of PTSD, like you have this traumatic stress in your life, right, and it's, and if it's continual for a certain for a long period, it's like you. What I know for my own journey is like the thought patterns.
Speaker 1:Well it's like you keep going through those same diamond patterns of thoughts and it's like, but why? But I'm doing this and this and this, and so why isn't this happening? It's kind of that cause and effect, like why? So I mean kudos for you for being able to get to the point where you're like I, something's going to give yeah Like I, something's going to give yeah Like I. So what was that point for you? What was that? Like I can't do this anymore. Something has to change. Like I'm at my breaking point.
Speaker 2:So it started to physically manifest in my body. My anxiety took over. I essentially became an agoraphobe. I could not leave my house. I was so terrified. My stomach was always upset. I could not leave my house, I was so terrified, my stomach was always upset. I developed gastroparesis out of nowhere and that is we know is either. But I knew, I knew it was, uh, my nervous system. I had just like run myself into the ground looking for answers. Um, so I just decided, you know I, I want to get to the bottom of my health issues, but first I need to just chill the fuck out, right, right. My health, ultimately, is more important than conceiving a child in that moment, right, um. So I just spent time doing nothing. I spent time on rests. I cut back taking clients, um, clients. I really took myself out of this place where I felt like I always had to be productive and I just let myself be lazy. You started nurturing yourself from the inside out.
Speaker 1:Right. Yeah, and giving yourself permission to do that alone is really hard. Yeah, so hard, and that's something that people don't talk about as much as we should talk about, like giving yourself permission to come out of that, doing success driven. I need to be productive all the time, like mentality that we've all had, I feel like in some way, shape or form, except for my daughter, I don't know why. She's the most laid back person, which is good. Hopefully I haven't shed my shit on her since. Maybe I broke that cycle.
Speaker 1:She is such a level-headed girl she really is I don't know Way more than I am, but that is huge, yeah. And for you to know, like if anything's going to happen, this has got to change, yeah, so you took that initiative to yourself, for yourself, to give yourself the rest I had to.
Speaker 2:If I didn't, who knows Like I would have continued to just get sicker and sicker because I created that, which is so crazy to think that your mind can physically manifest and create disease within your body. It was just terrifying and I just wasn't going to allow it to happen anymore.
Speaker 1:Good for you and like, meanwhile, how did this affect your relationship with your husband? Like what was kind of his, obviously not to necessarily speak for him, but from his kind of vantage point.
Speaker 2:Well, going through infertility to begin with is terrible. On marriage, like no one wants to schedule sex yeah, no, no. We got to a point where both of us didn't want to do it. Right. I'm like it's fine, let's go. You know, let's get it over with right, which is so terrible. Right, you know you want to enjoy that part of your marriage for sure.
Speaker 2:But yeah, and just him watching me shut down I think kind of made him take a step back and really it actually brought out his nurturing side and his patient side, Because it's frustrating when someone's not keeping up like they used to just on a daily basis. But he started to realize like whoa, like she needs me right now. So it was that part was great for our marriage because we've always been huge on communication. My husband and I like constantly have check-ins. We talk about the good, the bad, Um, so leaving that communication open and saying like, hey, I'm struggling, Like I need you to hold my weight right now.
Speaker 1:For someone like you like I know you personally it's hard for you to say that like you know it's hard to get to the point.
Speaker 2:I'm a Capricorn girl personally. It's hard for you to say that.
Speaker 1:Like you know, it's hard to get to the point, I'm a Capricorn girl, right.
Speaker 2:So even just being like hey, can you just do my laundry, you know like that's hard for me, but he bucked up and he got shit done. That man has done so many dishes and loads of laundry and he really yeah, he's fantastic.
Speaker 1:But that is so special, because that doesn't happen in all situations you know that can be the make or break. So that really speaks to how much he loves you and how much he, you know, understands and has compassion for the woman that you are, and understanding. That like and that to me is like when marriage really starts to grow, like when you get thrown in the thick of it, which we all do at some point in time. So he truly is a life partner.
Speaker 2:Like I love. Just. It ultimately made us stronger, which was so great, because in those situations it goes one way or the other Right there is no. Right.
Speaker 1:I mean you can freeze Because it's also traumatic for him to go through all of it. So he could have, you know, fought it, he could have flighted, he could have tried to leave the situation.
Speaker 2:He could have froze.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but he chose to really dive in and truly be your partner, and I think that that is another reason that you were able to heal so much through the situation. Is having that type of support so true?
Speaker 2:And maybe on the outside, looking in, you could say it appeared as though we were going through maybe a roommate phase, but essentially on the inside, but essentially on the inside from an emotional standpoint, we built such an intimacy in that, even though the physical wasn't there, because we were both just so physically stressed out from the whole process- I mean, you know, when we're in our 90s, hopefully we all make it there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it happens that way anyway. So if you, can get a little dose of that when you're supposed to be at your, your feistiest stage of life. It's, it's an attestment to like the future. Like you know, you have more than just the you know quote unquote norm or what you think a situation might be like, right.
Speaker 2:So so I started from there. I started healing. I really just tried to be as natural as possible. I saw a lot of naturopaths and I had a lot of naturopathic testing done and I found out that I have a gene mutation called MTHFR, which a lot of people have it. A lot of people have heard of it, but to me it was, you know, completely new. I'm like, okay, what the heck is this? This has to be related somehow.
Speaker 1:You were the reason I got tested for it. No, and I have it yeah. That is so funny? Yeah, because it's essentially like you don't methylate certain things, like you don't absorb certain things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, especially like minerals, the way that other people might Right, yeah, that vitamin B and folate and all of that, yeah. So I, from there, I was like, okay, I feel like I'm on the verge of something, but I was, you know, deep into therapy. At this point I'm like I'm not going to push myself back into this anxious state. We're just going to kind of look into it, analyze it, but it's not going to be my whole identity and so I. It's so crazy that this is even coming out of my mouth. But I was on a subreddit on Reddit and someone was talking about the relation of infertility and MTHFR and I was like, oh, I did not realize this was related. And someone commented you need to look into reproductive immunology not to be confused with reproductive endocrinology.
Speaker 1:So not hormones more internal.
Speaker 2:More the immune system. Immune system.
Speaker 1:Yes, which, if our immune system, as most of us these days, have some sort of autoimmune something going on because we're exposed to all of the toxins and all of the things, right? I mean, it's really hard to come by someone that doesn't have some sort of immune situation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and actually endometriosis acts as an autoimmune, because it's your own tissues attacking the body. Essentially, Maybe not attacking the body, but harming the body in a way, because it's tissue that doesn't belong on the heart or on the intestines or wherever it ends up. But so I did some Google searching and I figured out there are five reproductive immunologists in the US, which, like whoa, has to be a new field of medicine, because I've never heard of this before. If there's only five people that do it like, tell me more Like.
Speaker 1:I need to know.
Speaker 2:So I figured out that there was a doctor, a doctor who bees in Kissimmee, near Orlando, and I would not have my baby girl without him.
Speaker 1:I remember this whole stage. I'm going to cry.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so thankfully with. So if you go to a typical fertility clinic, it's a cash cow. It's not covered by insurance, right?
Speaker 1:They're there Hundreds of thousands of dollars, depending on how deep you go they're there to make money, and I mean, aren't we all?
Speaker 2:but anyway, um and so immunologists they you've already gone through all of the hormone testing, the thyroid testing, the physiological factors and when they look at your immunology relating to fertility, they're looking at gene mutations, they're looking at blood clotting disorders, they're looking at certain antibody markers that you have in your body. So, thankfully, with the reproductive immunologist, all of it was virtual, so I have actually never met him in person. Oh, wow, yeah.
Speaker 1:That's really cool. So you would do the labs here and send him away and he would read that yeah, so shout out to my OB, dr Cash.
Speaker 2:She's amazing. She collaborated with him, with you know, doing all of the testing that required him to get me a diagnosis, and now is she the OB you started this journey with or did you switch?
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, and she's been fantastic. She's been with you the whole way which is great, and I'm sure she's learned a lot, which is what our Western medicine doctors need to understand. So I'm loving this like synergetic collaboration, because this is what we need more of, and the fact that she's willing to work with them as well, because, you know, she could have easily been like, oh no, you know, fired you as a patient or something. You never know and meanwhile, this is all through, like COVID and stuff too, Like through pandemic.
Speaker 2:you were able to break through all of these barriers to get to this spot so yeah, and so, uh, she actually told me at some of my postpartum appointments that she passed his contact on to some people and he's been able to help them. So, um, okay, where did I leave off?
Speaker 1:No, sorry, Um, so you met him, your markers, so they're.
Speaker 2:What they're looking for is the immunology he did many ultrasounds different types of ultrasounds so where they inject your uterus with saline and they see if there's any abnormalities. They did a test called endometritis, where they take a biopsy of your uterus and apparently it's a chronic infection that can cause chronic inflammation in the uterus. So they ruled that out. They ruled out any polyps. I had extensive blood testing done. I actually passed out because it was 27 vials. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I was like are we sure this is okay?
Speaker 1:Five gallon bucket full of my blood over there. Can I have some back the blog?
Speaker 2:mess was like yeah, this is fine. I'm like okay, cause I feel like I'm not going to be conscious in one more vial. Did you have to fast for it? Yes, yeah, yeah, which I probably could have had a little more water, but it's okay. So he tested for seven different gene mutations. I ended up testing positive for three of them, and they all are in relation to clotting disorders as well, which can cause implantation failure.
Speaker 1:Okay, so, I was also severely vitamin D deficient which I mean I'm pale as hell.
Speaker 2:So no surprise there, I never go outside.
Speaker 1:Well, we don't get it through our food like we used to, because our food isn't grown the way it's used to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I was severely vitamin D deficient. I had the MTHFR, which is one of them that he tests for. I also had one called PI1, which is a clotting disorder. It's actually very dangerous. Thankfully I didn't test positive for both copies, it was just one copy, so I don't have an actual bleeding disorder, but it was affecting my fertility. And then factor 13 as well was one of them, which I don't know nothing about it, but it affects my fertility. And then he tests for all of these antibodies too, and I tested positive for something called anti-ovarian antibodies. So I literally had antibodies attacking my ovaries. Yeah, wow, I know. So on ultrasounds, I had these fat, juicy, beautiful eggs Great.
Speaker 1:But they were under attack. Yeah, they were under attack.
Speaker 2:So the quality, like no sperm is going to fertilize that. No, you had like soldiers waiting there to attack all the things and I had never had a pregnancy, a positive pregnancy test, in five years.
Speaker 1:Okay, so you had never gone through actual insemination implantation and then lost a baby.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I have never had a miscarriage which was crazy to think about.
Speaker 1:You know, like something's interrupting, but again back to the root cause, and here you go, right.
Speaker 2:So I started medication and he put me on. I don't want to give my exact protocol just because we're obviously not diagnosing here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, no.
Speaker 2:But he put me on some steroids, some blood thinners, and we retested everything and it was perfect. It was exactly where he wanted it and he gave us the green light to start trying, because you are not allowed to try until he gives you the green light. Because he doesn't want you to start too early and then potentially miscarry. So we got the green light. Two cycles in I was pregnant.
Speaker 1:Oh, my gosh After five years, naturally.
Speaker 2:I mean this is no hormones. No hormones.
Speaker 1:This is just rebalancing, recalibrating your insides after digging deep to find the root which you knew there was a root.
Speaker 2:I know there's always a root deep to find the root, which you knew there was a root. There's always a root Right. So I was in disbelief and we laugh about it now because my husband's birthday is December 14th, mine's January 15th and we both were like you know, we hated having our birthdays around Christmas. We're not going to have a Christmas baby. We got to make sure we don't try like when it's going to be those months, and we truly weren't trying Like that was the month we did not schedule yeah, anything, like we just let it flow Right. And here I am pregnant. So it was. Yeah, it was crazy. I was actually at my nephew's first birthday and there were so many babies there and as fun as it was, you know, seeing my nephew grow, there's a part of you at an event like that.
Speaker 1:That's like poor me you know it's like am I ever going to get this opportunity? Is this ever going to be us?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I left that party, went to a bar by myself, had a fat margarita, and I went home and I was like I'm just going to take a pregnancy test, like yeah, just for fun, I've wasted enough of them, what's one more? And I actually took it, left it in the bathroom, forgot about it for like two hours and then I came back in the bathroom and I was like shut up, there's no way. It was very clearly positive and I was like there's no way. So I went to Target. I got like 20 more different brands. All of them were positive, even the digitals and it was. It wasn't even time for my cycle yet. So I was like in shock. It was so early. I think I was like 10 days post being off of my period. It was like super early. I was like there's no way. Yeah, Um, yeah. And so it was positive. My husband was at work and of course he had a busy night at the bar, so he was there till 2am so I went to sleep. I didn't even tell him.
Speaker 1:You didn't even tell him. Oh my God, I don't think. Especially if I had had a big fat margarita, I would have been like you're never going to believe this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would have like gone up like look at all this. How did you keep it a secret? And then the guilt set in and I'm like, oh crap, I just had so much alcohol. Yeah.
Speaker 1:But whatever, most people don't really find out they're pregnant until a little ways in.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So, um, the next morning I put together this like cute little box with some shoes and whatever, um, and the positive tests, and um, I had just bought my salon and I was like I was on the phone with my business partner and she's like wait, do you still want to do this, are you sure? I'm like yes, of course. Like I, which I would not have purchased a salon if I had gotten pregnant any sooner than that like if I already had a baby.
Speaker 2:Yeah, knowing what I know now like it's hard, it's hard to prioritize both, but I truly believe that that happened in the timing that it needed to. It always does, because I'm so grateful to have both. It's been so much fun. I am so happy to step away from my own business to help other people grow in theirs, and I feel like that's truly my purpose and it's truly a new chapter for you, right? And so I'm so grateful that the timing happened how it did. But what was I saying? The little box you told him oh yeah.
Speaker 2:So I was, like you know, trying to play it off, all cool, and the box was closed and I was like, hey, check out this sample I got for the salon, or something Like. What do you think?
Speaker 2:of this tile or I don't even remember what I said, but he was like what do you mean? What is this? And he opened it up. He's like half awake because he was just up so late. And he opened it up and he's like no, you're joking, like this is not real. And we both just kind of broke down. It was like such a special moment.
Speaker 2:But, yeah, we were in true disbelief, like because even though we had that positive pregnancy test and later had a positive blood test it's like what people don't talk about is you worry so much, even when you are already pregnant, because miscarriage is so common, you know, and after five years you almost like gaslight yourself, like I don't deserve this. You know, like it's been so long, like why would it work? Now, you know, so I gosh, for the first half of my pregnancy I was expecting to miscarry. So it was. It was hard for us to tell our family and like announce to friends because we were like at any moment this could be taken away from us. So it was very terrifying. But that little girl man, her scans were perfect and beautiful. And that's one great thing about my immunologist is he watches you with what's it called.
Speaker 1:Magnifying glass. He watches you with a magnifying glass.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so he. Every single week I was getting ultrasounds and and that's reassuring to just hear the heartbeat right here.
Speaker 1:Even with brony I was 35, so it's considered geriatric, which was great because I got that I know right, really old, um, but I got to see him so much like way more 25. They're just like oh yeah, see you 38 weeks right yeah, not really, but so every single week he would.
Speaker 2:He had me do blood tests and ultrasounds and at the six-week mark, I want to say, I developed something called a subchorionic hematoma, which any OB would tell you like oh, it's normal, it's just a little sack of blood, it's normal to have some bleeding, it'll go away on its own, like external bleeding or internal it? Comes out of you, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, so that had to be terrifying.
Speaker 2:Which is terrifying yeah.
Speaker 1:It's like your first thought is miscarriage.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, right. So which I had had some friends and family that I've had the same thing and, um, I was optimistic about it. But in the immunology world, if you already have these antibody issues, he considers a hematoma as an immune response to pregnancy. And so immediately he was like we need to have you do an IVIG infusion. It basically just like tones down the immune system, because even after pregnancy, your body can be like oh crap, what is this? It's a foreign body, let's get rid of it, you know. So, which is very common with these types of issues. And so he had me do this infusion and it was gone in 48 hours, which was like, so it dissolved.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Right, Um, so that was our only scare. And then the rest of the pregnancy, like she was measuring a week ahead and every little body part looked perfect and she was moving a ton and it just has been such a blessing and I still like I was leaving my house and my mom was holding my daughter and I'm like I still cannot believe that this is a reality Like.
Speaker 2:I made you like what? If I had not found this field of medicine, I probably would not have a baby. And I just really really wanted to share that because I can't tell you how many people who probably have gone through countless rounds of IVF and they could just have one gene mutation or one antibody issue that one medication could fix and you could get pregnant naturally. So the world of reproductive immunology treats unexplained infertility so that was my case and then also repeat miscarriage. So there's a lot of people that will go through IVF and they repeatedly just the egg just doesn't stick and a lot of these immunological issues are to blame. So I just really wanted to share that because it could be a simple blood test that finds the answer for someone you know and only five doctors in the U S know what to look for for that real to me and, honestly, hopefully, by the time we even released this in a couple of weeks, there will be more than that.
Speaker 1:Like I hope that this inspires more people to not only advocate for their own health and their own wellness and their own fertility, to also alternative views of medicine. Yeah, and for our you know our, and I know you know in our hearts of hearts, when we go to school as a little kid, for what we want to be when we grow up. Right, we want to change the world, we want to do something differently, and what you're taught isn't all there is Right. So I think that, like, I like to really find myself as just always being open and curious. Yeah, and I just really hope that this sheds some light on those. Whether you're a medical profession or someone that's like firsthand experiencing it, or retired, or just curious, like advocate for yourself, yeah, do your research, like figure out these different ways to go about your health. And you know you and I said earlier I've shared a lot of our different kind of alternative health journeys and practitioners and, by the way, postpartum, I have a really good lymphatic drainage person for you, who is amazing.
Speaker 2:Awesome, I'm going to see him after this His name is Jose. Actually, I have had many people recommend him.
Speaker 1:Oh, he is amazing um, because it's just it's so important to get to the root of the issue, because if there is an issue, there is something causing it. You know, it's not just what's on the outside. It never is. Yeah, and I think that that's something that our generation is really kind of breaking the cycles of just trusting that it's all yeah to yes, it's all going to work out the way it's supposed to but we also have to dig deep.
Speaker 1:We also have to look in different avenues and open different doors, and that's my whole intention of this podcast, and sharing my lived experience and inviting other people on to share their lived experience is to just. If one person hears this and is like, wow, I think I'm going to call them or I'm going to, I think I'm going to share this information with someone that I know, because nine times out of 10, someone listening to this, he's either first hand experienced it or knows someone close to them that's experienced something similar, whether it's this conversation about infertility or you know any topic that I've ever covered, and that's just, that's the intention behind it, and that's why I feel like I just love to keep it such an intimate setting.
Speaker 1:And it's like, you know, these different opportunities, I feel pulled in all these different directions. I'm like, no, I like it the way it is yeah, I like to have these personable conversations. Yeah, and it's interesting, like I have people reach out like, oh, you should do this person. They have this many views and this many likes. I'm like I don't even know how many likes and views.
Speaker 1:I have Like that's not the intention, like I don't give a shit. I mean, thank you guys, I appreciate you all for liking and viewing and listening, but when you have an intention that drives your purpose just like you had an intention that drove your purpose to conceive your child and now be a mom and now be a business owner and all of these different things it hits different. Yeah, it really does. It does and people feel that and they appreciate that because you can tell the difference.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Authenticity is coming back.
Speaker 1:It is. It is 100% coming back. I don't know if I'm going to let my hair go. I don't even know authentically what it looks like. I like my blonde and so we'll stay connected. So what do you feel like like? How does it feel walking into this new chapter for you? I mean, the rebranding renovations at Fresh are still underway, but coming like tailoring off. You know your boutique. You said you might do a little rebranding, but that's, you know, still having room to expand. Who knows what could happen there? And then Mommyhood.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's been so fun, honestly, and I used to hate searching for balance because I struggle with it. I'm sure all of us struggle with it, but it's so fun now because I am never bored, right, everything's a priority, you know. So it's. It's just really, really cool watching my daughter grow and then also watching my employees grow and, um, just the people around me.
Speaker 2:Like I love it, I love connection and um, I think that's why we, we vibe so well too because you're the same way, Um, but yeah, it just feels so good in this new chapter because I feel like anxiety, although it's still present, you know it shows up every once in a while. But I feel like health is around the corner, you know, and I'm able to focus on that, instead of what I don't have now, instead of what I don't have now.
Speaker 2:So just having an abundant mindset you know, one of my friends texted me this morning, Lindsay, and she's reading the Hypnobirthing book again and she's like I really want to work on having an abundant mindset, you know, and I'm like, yeah, girl.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there is something to it. Same when you come from a place and again we all have our ebbs and blows, ups and downs, and all around, especially with hormones involved, fuckers take over man. But when you come from a place of not even just abundance and when, when I refer to abundance I think of like gratitude appreciation, and when I refer to abundance I think of like gratitude appreciation, like thankful for what I do have and open to what is possible. That's the way I kind of perceive it in my mind when I think of abundance. But when you come from it, from that place, rather the lack or why me? Or the self-sabotaging thoughts we can all get, somehow it's like it just again. When it does happen, it's different.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thoughts we can all get, somehow it's like it just again, when it does happen, it hits different because you have, I feel like you're in such a different place of acceptance and like honoring that part of the journey, like wow, it feels right. This is what I've been yearning for and and kind of projecting towards rather than low key Cause we don't realize when we're in those thought patterns of why isn't this happening? You know, it's like like the ego takes over and wants us to feel like we're lacking and it's like, okay, well, what can we be learning from this? And you know, if you would have gotten pregnant from that second IUI treatment, you would have never learned these things about yourself, right? You would have never dug so deep to realize like, wow, these are things that once my daughter is at an age you know, we'll be able to make sure she's on the right path with this Is it genetic?
Speaker 2:Is it not Exactly?
Speaker 1:You know, it's just it's you gain so much. I have like chili willies for some reason you gain so much knowledge and insight going through the shit on honestly that it makes you appreciate being on the other side of it even more right.
Speaker 2:I just appreciate my daughter so much going through all of that. You know, because thankfully there are people that don't have to worry about that. You know it's one or two tries and they're pregnant, but it's you. You grow a new appreciation when you go through the struggle.
Speaker 1:I think too, a thousand percent, because it's like I worked so hard for you, Whereas you know and this is where, in my own, I'll just share like I'm fertile moral. I got pregnant with my daughter by accident. She was a very big surprise. When I was 25 years old, I was not married to her father. It was like, and I was like, oh my God. But then again part of me was like it's a gift. It's a gift, Don't freak out. It's a gift, it happened for a reason. But then I don't want to share that, because there are people that have stories like yours.
Speaker 2:But it's like my story is just to share.
Speaker 1:It's real, it's the reality of the situation, but I can tell you what, like the day she was born, the gratitude and appreciation, the love obviously was there, but it's different than yours, right, you know. So it's like your experiences and what it took to get to those places really molds your perception of your new reality, right, and that goes for anything, not just babies, that goes for businesses, or ebbs and flows or, you know, getting laid off of a job and a new opportunity.
Speaker 1:Just having that, I think, internal trust and trusting the process and say it a lot, but surrendering to the flow and sometimes it's like fuck all the surrender.
Speaker 2:No one. I'm done surrendering Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but taking a step back, it's like okay, once one layer is peeled off, okay, it feels good here it feels good now. Yeah, I just really appreciate your courage. I mean, you reached out to me and were like I'm. I think I'm ready to share this. And we've talked about it for the past few years You're like whenever I have a baby like I want to talk about it.
Speaker 2:And here we are and it is a little sad because I did kind of, in the back of my mind, feel like I didn't earn the right to share this story until I was holding my daughter, and that in itself is kind of sad, because I should have shared it sooner, you know.
Speaker 1:And you did with people you were close to. Yeah, you did Because it's an intimate situation, right, right, so you did with people you were close to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you did Because it's an intimate situation, right right, so you did. But even if I had miscarried or it didn't work out, still it could help someone. It's still a worthy story, exactly.
Speaker 1:It's still worthy of being told. Right, I know it's the story of your little beauty. I know, oh gosh, three months is such a fun age. She's going to probably start getting really chunky. That was the age.
Speaker 2:I feel like Brody was like she's starting to hurt my back, she's getting really chunky Getting one of those little tush baby things. My friend just lent me one. I'm like this is a lifesaver, yeah.
Speaker 1:I was never good at like wrapping in those cute little wrappy things either I I'm like the shoulders are too big or something. I always felt like we're like smashed into like a little hot dog. But so I had more of a traditional carrier with bro guy. But cool, I mean, enjoy it and that's just the thing it's like. Sometimes I remember like in infancy it's like gosh, how they really do is like kind of smile every now and then and eat, sleep and poop, yeah, but enjoy it, enjoy every little stage. I mean Brody is going to be five, I can't even when this is released, he is almost five.
Speaker 2:I remember at our workout class you announced you were six weeks pregnant with him and I'm like no way, oh my gosh, I cannot believe he's five.
Speaker 1:We were working out at Jico's and I'm like I remember someone in class I think it was about 12 weeks at the time they're like. So I'm like, I'm not, I'm pregnant, okay, like these boobs just didn't come out of nowhere, okay, at the freshman 15. Going on here, leave me alone. But you know, I was very fortunate to be able to exercise the whole time and not many people are. And so I'm just so excited for this new chapter for you for this new chapter for the salon.
Speaker 1:If you guys live in Sarasota, if you're local, if you're visiting, check them out. Fresh salon. Book in advance though. Yes, you got to book in advance. I had a friend that was like I call him and no one's available for this weekend. I'm like, oh honey, I know my husband. He was like, so do you want to go? He like blocked the calendar for me, like last time I got my hair done on a monday. I'm like I'm here and they're really hard to come by, like there's a, there's a block of time and it doesn't take one hour. It's no, it's a commitment.
Speaker 2:Um, we actually are having a grand opening party to celebrate our one year anniversary.
Speaker 1:So that'll be April 15th, awesome.
Speaker 2:You can RSVP with the link in our bio on Instagram. But, yeah, anyone's invited. It'll be so much fun. We're just really excited to show our baby. Yay, is Murph going to be there? Yes, she will. She has the cutest little chest. Okay, are you okay if we say her name? Or do you make? Oh, no, I don't care.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, yes, awesome. Well, thank you so much, taylor, for your courage, for your insight, for you know, just being you, being brave enough to face all of this, advocating for yourself, sharing your experiences with other people.
Speaker 2:Experiences with other people, please tell your husband, I said thank you for you know because he's part of the journey.
Speaker 1:Thank you for just being here on this platform. This is exactly my intention and purpose for doing it in the first place, so thank you.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me, of course.