Krystel Clear

Becoming Limitless with Matt Beall

• Krystel Beall • Season 2 • Episode 23

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What happens when we stop defending who we think we are? In this intimate and profound conversation, Matt Beall returns for his third appearance to explore how detaching from identities creates space for authentic living and deeper connections.

Matt shares fascinating updates since his last visit – from growing his podcast to 70 episodes, exploring Drake's Island with Graham Hancock, competing in the World Series of Poker (placing in the top 8%), and even embarking on a mission to investigate Kurt Cobain's death and explore hidden chambers in the Great Pyramid. These diverse pursuits reflect his philosophy of following life's natural flow rather than being constrained by rigid self-definitions.

The heart of our discussion examines how we create mental turbulence through attachment to labels – whether professional titles, relationship roles, or belief systems. "We get caught up in these 'I am's' of these labels," Matt explains, "and it kind of limits us and boxes us into that corner." Through personal examples ranging from parenting approaches to religious perspectives, we unpack how judgment and identification create unnecessary suffering.

Matt introduces his four key practices for maintaining inner peace: authenticity (separating true self from "movie character"), acceptance (observation without judgment), accountability (recognizing we create our own emotional responses), and presence (returning to the now when mind wanders). These practices offer a practical framework for reducing stress and finding greater equanimity amidst life's challenges.

Most powerfully, we explore the liberating possibility of replacing negative judgments with compassion and positive judgments with gratitude. In a world of 8 billion separate realities created through individual belief systems, this practice of "non-belief" and openness creates space for more authentic connections with ourselves and others.

What identities are you holding onto that no longer serve you? Listen now and discover how letting go might be the key to finding your truest self.


Thank you for joining me today. Please know that this podcast and the information shared is not to replace or supplement any mental health or personal wellness modalities provided by practitioners. It’s simply me, sharing my personal experiences and I appreciate you respecting and honoring my story and my guests. If something touched your heart please feel free to like, share and subscribe. Have a beautiful day full of gratitude, compassion and unconditional love.

Speaker 1:

What's up everyone? Welcome to this episode of Crystal Clear. We have a third time returning guest today, the one and only Matt.

Speaker 2:

Powell, it's a record for you, right Three.

Speaker 1:

Yep.

Speaker 2:

That's a record for me.

Speaker 1:

Welcome back. It has been a I don't know almost probably 18 months since we filmed a podcast and each time you've been on there have been some pretty drastic life shifts and changes and evolutions and growth and all kinds of fun things. So, getting into the second season of empowerment and authenticity and soul searching and following our purpose, I thought it was just perfect to have you back on.

Speaker 2:

Let's do it.

Speaker 1:

Tell us a little bit about what's going on with you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean, 18 months ago is a long time. It doesn't feel like that long, but but here we are. So I was just kicking off the podcast, probably about a little bit over that, I guess.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, you had just started the podcast, I think.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, so that's been happening. I mean, a lot of stuff has been happening. We have two children at home now.

Speaker 1:

Yep, we have two children. I actually did a whole podcast on losing Nilla and this is the first time announcing on air that we decided to impulsively buy a new puppy. I thought it was, I don't know. I feel like it's like having kids you think of there's never a right time. You just have to wing it, you just have to go for it and you figure it out as you go.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, she's been great so far, but she's been great so far.

Speaker 1:

My nervousness is a little bit of a wreck from being on all the time but processing through that she sleeps a lot. She sleeps a lot yeah.

Speaker 2:

But she's been great. So there's that. I mean the podcast started. Uh, I'm up to episode 70 now.

Speaker 1:

Just came out this week.

Speaker 2:

So we're putting out weekly episodes, so just kind of been following life and kind of doing what feels right, and obviously my day job is still going well. We just finished up a fiscal year with Bells, so August 1st is the beginning of a new fiscal year and I can't believe we're in September already tomorrow, but um crazy. But uh, yeah, we had a good year. It was, I mean, the first half of the year we got destroyed by hurricanes and and just a ton of you know recovery, and then we had winter storms all over the place and so that was a challenge. But then we we hit our stride and really bounced back and salvaged a really solid year and I have a good trend going into this next year. So all is well business-wise. I feel like people are in a good spot. People are liking, from a cultural standpoint, what's happening and people seem happy. We don't have a lot of turnover and then, yeah, it's just been outside of work, gosh, I mean.

Speaker 1:

More work, more work, more work, but passion projects, so it doesn't feel like work sometimes.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, for sure, For sure. I mean we took a couple of trips. We went to the UK.

Speaker 1:

Yep, that was so much fun.

Speaker 2:

Pretty awesome Yep Hanging out with Graham Hancock and his wife. They're great.

Speaker 1:

Yep, and then what was kind of what the opportunity came up for Drake's Island, which was kind of what we molded our trip around or navigated our trip around. So tell me a little bit about, like, the significance of that, because that was fun.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, I mean. Drake's Island is a little known island off of the coast of Plymouth in the UK and it's served as like a military base, basically for sinking any subs or ships that might have come through the harbor for several hundred years. And a lot of history there. The Royal Army.

Speaker 1:

The Royal Army yes.

Speaker 2:

Yep, we got a tour by someone who was in, who owns the island now Morgan.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And his. He was in the Royal Army. He mentioned about a half dozen times, maybe more, but that was a fantastic tour, yeah, and it was cool to get a tour from the owner of that island, yeah, and his family and his wife and his daughter, and yeah, so it was really cool to have that intimate experience with them.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it'll be fun to see what they do with it down the road, like I think the hopes and plans are to kind of restore it and create some sort of resort or retreat type space. So it'll be fun to see that evolve within the next five or ten years and revisit it whenever it becomes whatever it's supposed to be.

Speaker 2:

Yep, yep for sure, yeah, so sure, yeah. So that was cool. Um, I think he was looking for investor partnership or something they want to do a hotel on there, and I think he wants to come on the podcast so that it can get more exposure and whatnot, but I'm sure we'll keep in touch. You seem like a cool guy.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Um, I went to Las Vegas and played in the. World Series of Poker Lifelong dream. I did it last year too, but it wasn't the main event, it was a different event. But yeah, two years in a row have played in the World Series, which is bucket list, which I appreciate you supporting me and going out there and doing and placed both times and made money both times.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you're what top 8%.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, in both of them. Yeah, that's awesome.

Speaker 1:

I mean and that's I talk about all of my event, you know, adventures and excursions and things I do for myself, but that's just something to kind of elaborate on, I feel like, really quickly, because I think in marriage and busy lives and we have, you know, several different buckets each, and then we have our big bucket together. That's all encompassing all the other little buckets. It's so important to honor the space and time that your partner needs, whether that's two hours walking the yard and doing yard work or going to Vegas for a week, which, I bless you, I could never do. It's too much for me. I just think that that's so important. And when we really started doing that for each other, I think, is when everything really started to shift between us and also just giving each other that permission to like have your individual life too, like I think that sometimes and I know we were kind of this way in the very beginning like you're such a unit and you do all the things together all the time. But I think it's just so important to also just hold space for having you know your own individual passions but then also coming together and honoring whatever that is for you.

Speaker 1:

It's. You know, I know. I mean, when we were just barely even dating, you expressed how excited you were about playing in the World Series of Poker Monday. So I know how much it means to you and it's so much fun. I mean, I'm not a poker player but I love going to, you know, play blackjack and stuff with you, but in Vegas it's so much fun. I just don't feel like in this stage of life, with everything I have going on, that I could do it. But I love that you get to do it and I think that's super important, like mine's mirror ball and other little trips and girls trips and things like that. So I just I can put it out there to anyone if you're in a relationship, or even the relationship you have with yourself, it's really important to allow yourself time to just go and play for a little bit and kind of disconnect from life and just do your thing.

Speaker 2:

It's funny that you put it that way and it's not just with relationships with a spouse, it can be a relationship with your kid, it can be anybody that you have a relationship with, and it's and it's um, um, yeah, I mean just kind of supporting the other person and letting them know that their choice and what they want to do with life and to have a little bit of fun is okay and that it's supported and they were not judging it and that it's not like a negative. Um, we're going, I've got a. Uh, Drew is now getting into poker and he's 18 and he just played in a tournament and he got second place out of 200 people and of course he's kind of like his dad. I mean he's kind of all or nothing and he's all in on that game right now. But he's not hurting anybody, he's winning. You know, he's not like doing any damage to his brain, he's not like drinking like I was at that age, at freshman year of college.

Speaker 1:

He's not smoking weed? Right, he's not smoking Normal. He doesn't really have the normal college life. Because I think that's where I would start to be concerned if it were all of the above. Yes, that's when I would be concerned about the poker, but I just, first of all, I know how your brain works. Both of you Like you guys like to. It's a, it's a game like, it's a challenge. It's like it's better than video games. You know, as long as he has a conscious, mindset about it and knows limits and he says you know it has a balance.

Speaker 1:

I think it's all about balance, right?

Speaker 2:

So yes, it, it for sure. And I got a text from his mom about talking to him about him playing too much poker and I had to reply like I, I I don't feel like she wanted me to talk to him about it and I just feel like I, I have such a shitty relationship with my mom because of how much she does that to me and like judges the things that I find joy in over the course of my entire life, that it's not the kind of relationship that I want to have with my, with my son. I want to be able to support him and I want to be able to say you know what you're, you want to do that You're not hurting yourself, you're not hurting anybody else. Go do it. I encourage you to go do it, just like you encouraged me to go on on this trip. I mean, he's making good grades in school. You know he's not, he's not hurting himself or other people.

Speaker 2:

So, um, I see certainly the other perspective and where they're coming from and the concern and totally understand it.

Speaker 2:

But at the end of the day, we're 18, I'm 46, you know it's like well, it was. At some point we have to decide are we going to be friends with this person, are we going to support this person and be there for them and offer caution if caution is is warranted and necessary, but you know, ultimately, just um, um, have a healthy relationship and a healthy dynamic. I feel like at some point we have to let go of the parental role that we play with our kids and and to be able to be able to talk to them so that they trust us and so that they, uh, they have a safe place and that they don't feel like what they're doing is bad or wrong, that that it's okay. So, um, I know that there's balance, for sure, with all things, but it's something that, at least at this stage, I've attempted to implement that with the kids and it seems like our relationship is significantly better. I've attempted to implement that with you and you going and doing your thing. I try not to. I don't worry about you. It's like go, have fun, do your Miraval stuff and get your witchy stuff on do yoga for eight hours like whatever it's

Speaker 1:

cool so eight hours for five days, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Well, the poker thing went for.

Speaker 1:

I mean making it 12 to 12, right 12 to 1230.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it was 12 and a half hours a day for as long as you can last. It starts with 10,000 people, you, you, if you make it past day one, usually there's 8,000 left. Day two 6,000. Day three, you know, um, it starts to drop quicker because the blinds start to increase, but, um, yeah, it's a grind and, uh, you have to be kind of, you know, tried to be in the moment as much as you can, because if you're, you know.

Speaker 1:

Well, you can't be anywhere else. Right, you have to be completely present.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Because if you're not, then you're out. You're going to get busted out, so I think that, if anything, it's a good way of practicing presence.

Speaker 1:

Mm-hmm, you know whatever that isn't just escaping for a little while, yeah, but um. But I I do think it's important, as children get older, to create more of those mature, adult, adult relationships without parenting parenting, because if you have a parental relationship, even though you are their parent, obviously that's always going to be like we gave life and they're here. I just feel like it's always also important to just lead by example and show them that, okay, you can do X, y and Z, but it's important to have a balance. It's important to have your own time and you know we have a daughter that's in a new relationship and there's a lot of time there. But I'm like it's important to have a balance and still make sure you have your girlfriend time and your sports time and you know just. But I feel like I lead by example, of showing that rather than just because I think that's where I know. For me, I lost respect for parental authorities in my life when it was like you know, they're telling me to do one thing, but they're doing the opposite Right.

Speaker 1:

And they're not. They're not modeling that behavior or they're not modeling the things, the things. And I understand that sometimes we want our kids to do differently than we've done, because you know we don't want them to go through what we've gone through. But sometimes they might have to, and sometimes they might have to, I mean, within reason. Obviously we want to make sure they're safe and they're supported and they're heard and they're understood. I mean because at the end of the day, that's all we want to feel right, we want to feel heard, we want to feel seen, we want to feel understood.

Speaker 1:

And when you get into those, you know why are you doing this this way instead of you know how can I support you in this way? You know, or do you need support in this way instead of offering it? Because sometimes that unsolicited advice can be taken as judgment. So, just really finding a balance with that for ourselves. I even find myself like sometimes I want to say something, but I'm like you know what, if I were to say that right now, it would make or break this situation. So I want to make sure that I'm nurturing and showing compassion for what they're also going through, but also modeling the behavior, so I don't just look like a hypocrite, and I think that that's where I really struggled sometimes with you know, for lack of a better word authority figures in my life saying one thing and doing another, contradicting themselves. It was just kind of like that. That's a really quick way for me to lose respect.

Speaker 2:

Right, right, not understand. Well, that's why we made all the changes we did when the kids were getting to the age of high school and, yeah, right, when all the things show up with alcohol and all the substances and all that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, and I think about that these days and I'm like you know, I choose not to, but if I choose to, then I do.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

But I usually choose not to.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

And I kind of explain why. Like you know, I just I want to be present for our family and, to be honest, every time I have had a sip of alcohol or a drink, or a couple drinks or whatever I feel it in the day, the day of Totally fine Fun, go with the flow. The next day usually all right, it's like two, three days later. I start the, the, the intrusive thoughts start to come back, the, the old patterns of you need to get up and you need to go sweat and like it just all started, my, my, my mind gets loud and that's the biggest thing. And so when you try to explain that to someone that doesn't understand and hasn't had the break period to understand, when you bring it back, that's what's caught and they're like oh, it takes the edge off. I'm like but it doesn't really For me anyway, whatever, for some people it may. But I encourage you if you feel like it does, just take a little break from it and bring it back.

Speaker 2:

It does take that edge off, but then it's right back there.

Speaker 1:

That's how I feel and I just know that right now you know we have having a new puppy is literally like bringing a feral toddler that does not wear diapers into your house, that chews on everything and she's beautiful and wonderful. And then we have a five-year-old who we're training to adapt to this new life in our house, the new system, and he's had a lot of transition. I think he's really struggled since we lost Nilla in June and he's had a month off of school and just he really thrives off of that relaxed structure that he really hasn't had a ton of. So navigating some behavioral stuff with him that we haven't had to go through has been a challenge for us, the teenagers when going to college and I feel like Robbie and Tay kind of do their own thing they're pretty easy, even keeled.

Speaker 1:

But if I were to add, like it's football season, I would have some like pumpkin ciders during football season, like we used to, which were so good. It's like I just know like once the week started I would just be a mess. So I just I don't know. I still feel like it's a good choice. For me right now it doesn't serve me. I mean same with coffee. For me right now it doesn't serve me. I mean same with coffee, like I realized, like if I even have, like if I have regular coffee and I combine it with protein, I'm usually okay, but if I have like just a regular cup of coffee with no protein or anything like that with it, I I'm just on a whole different level as far as like agitation and edginess and quick, like quick to snap.

Speaker 2:

You touched on something earlier, almost touched on something earlier. That was level as far as like agitation and edginess and quick, like quick to snap. You touched on something earlier, almost touched on something earlier. That was interesting because when, when you said, people ask you if you drink alcohol ever, and it's like you know, am I a drinker? Am I not a drinker? It's, it's we kind of try to label ourselves as things and you know, like when I wasn't eating meat, for example, I'm, I wasn't a vegetarian, I was just waking up every day and making a choice not to eat meat.

Speaker 2:

So, I don't. You don't have to self-label vegetarian or self-label meat eater in order to exist.

Speaker 2:

We can. We can drop all of those self-labels and just wake up every day and decide if I want to have a drink of alcohol, or decide if I want to have a bite of meat or whatever it is, and we don't have to carry those patterns into the next day. We do that because we're identified with that name. Like I am vegetarian, you know, so I'm not going to eat meat today. But when we take those labels away and we make it a choice, and we make it about just, you know, maybe I will one day.

Speaker 2:

You know, like you. Somebody asked you if you were going to drink again. You know.

Speaker 1:

I don't know. But if I'm in France and I'm in fricking champagne France and I want a glass of bubbles, I'm going to have one. But I will say I will do that knowing what comes next, so in half, and having to own that. So then I have to make sure that, like, okay, if I know this is how alcohol affects me or how meat affects me or I'm allergic to eggs, if I really want an omelet, I know how it affects my body, but go into it with no guilt, no shame, understanding the consequences of what it's going to do to my body and be prepared to unravel that.

Speaker 2:

To your mind really too. I mean yeah, for sure no-transcript. Yeah, I mean to, yeah, for sure, I mean yeah.

Speaker 2:

So we get caught up on these I am's of these labels, of all this stuff and it's like and it kind of limits us and it kind of boxes us into that corner of I want my beers on Friday night and it's like that's who I, I just drink beer on Friday night, that's who I am, you know. And then we're stuck doing that repeatedly on autopilot for the rest of our lives and it's like maybe you know, if we want to be empowered, if we want to actually have the choice and be able to make the choice for ourselves, then stop labeling ourselves and stop you know, and just kind of go with the flow and, um, yeah, it's interesting, it does impact the mind, for sure, and as does weed and as does you know.

Speaker 2:

Really, um, um, probably probably a number of things but, certainly alcohol and weed, like the two days later, three days later, when you're um, it's like that, that down period where you said your voice gets loud. The voice in the head does get a little bit louder, but it's it's more like it's agitated.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, well, your amygdala is fired up, because that's the area of your brain that it affects.

Speaker 2:

Right, so that's, that's when it.

Speaker 1:

Like the reactivity is on higher alert. Your nervous system, your parasympathetic nervous system, is shut down.

Speaker 2:

Everything's a little bit more annoying. Yeah, things aren't just kind of funny. There's there's a lot less acceptance for things that happen. There's a lot more irritation. There's a lot. I'm not saying with you like this is like no, I mean it's true with me, but when?

Speaker 2:

people say that this, it takes the edge off. That's the edge they're talking about. It's the same edge that's created by the alcohol in the first place, and so you have to. So then you get yourself trapped into this cycle of it takes the edge off, I get the edge back, it takes the edge off, I get the edge back, it takes it and and, and. Then you're stuck in that in perpetuity and you could have clear, calm, just peace If you just let go of that and had the willpower to kind of say for the first couple of cause it is tough for the first couple of weeks or the first month to just say, you know, I don't, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna, you know, let that go, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna get a drink today. And if you can get through that first kind of month period, then you, you see that the edge is gone.

Speaker 1:

Right, yeah, actually, um, tammy Valencinti, who I did a podcast with a couple months ago, she's going to come down in December and we're actually going to do a kind of like seeking sobriety for people that are kind of trying to tiptoe their way in like how to do it. You know what, what it feels like, what alternatives there are, and I think you know it's been what you haven't had a drink in like over three and a half three years, about three years, yeah, I think it's been about around this time almost three years, yeah october, I think will be three years.

Speaker 1:

Okay for me. I've sprinkled, I've been here and there, yeah, um, so I don't have a date. But going back to that takes the edge off and then you go back and take that. I feel like my lifestyle prior to us making that change was just that like we really didn't drink that much during the week, unless it was something we were celebrating, which I think. I went through a cabinet and realized we used to write on bottles of wine and champagne, like everything. We celebrated a lot. We celebrated a lot.

Speaker 2:

It was almost like an excuse to drink. It was an excuse to drink, yeah, or I would travel with you.

Speaker 1:

And when I traveled with you. That's what we did. But then I would have this mindset of I have to go sweat, I have to go do this. So that's what kind of kept my brain in that PTSD cycle, because even though my patterns were different than they were when I was a kid, I was still keeping that like cause and effect cycle up. But when you're able to just kind of stop labeling that and just be done with it and it's been reclusive and to your point, a lot of my girlfriends we've talked about they're like oh yeah, my husband and I, my partner and I, or whoever like I only get annoyed with my kids if I drink or I only get I mean, that's probably really a stretch Like we all get annoyed with our kids. But you know, my spouse and I argue more when we drink because we're usually pretty even keel or you know not to be dead horse with it. But it's just, it's really interesting going through and talk about the labeling. I think that that is really important too, because that when you stop labeling yourself as something like in this realm, I stopped labeling myself as you know, I've been a fitness instructor for 22 years it's like yeah, that's something I did in my life, but it's not something I actively do now like it's not who I am, but for so long I was wrapped up in who I was with that, because it was all I'd ever known and I had worked so hard to put myself through college and I'd put so much energy into it, which is, I think, why we identify with things is

Speaker 1:

we put so much energy into something we identify but then when I stopped doing it as or I didn't have an eight pack anymore or like those little things would chip away at the ego part of that identification for me and it kept me like again in that mindset of I need to do this or I have to do this, and just the rigidity of boundaries I had set for myself around this identification that I just had to let go of.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that was a beautiful part of who I am, but it's different now and that's okay, like, and it's okay to shift. It's okay to have career shifts or follow your passions and do less of like. If you just identified as Matt Bell, ceo of Bell's fourth generation chairman board of directors, like you would have never been open enough to have this limitless life with this podcast that has how many people like it is off the charts now and it's been like the most expansive growth I've seen in a podcast in a two year period of time and it's opened so many doors for you because you weren't set and identified with this one version of your avatar.

Speaker 2:

My movie character, your movie character.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's true, you know and I think that if some of us would just realize so that's a challenge for you guys, listening when in your life do you feel like you're identified? Is it wife? Is it mother? Is it your job title? Is it your where you're from? Is it your race? Is it your nationality? Is it wife? Is it mother? Is it your job title? Is it your where you're from? Is it your race? Is it your nationality? Is it your culture? Like, where are you identified?

Speaker 2:

Job title.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it could be anything. It's the I, it's the I am other than I am here. I'm now, I'm life. It's every other I am that exists is a part of our movie character. I am all of it, Everyone is. So we can, but we have the choice.

Speaker 2:

We can hold on to them or we can let go and ultimately, we're going to have to let go to every everything that we're attached to, everything that we're identified with, every self-labeled that we have. Ultimately, we have to let go of every one of them at the very, at the very latest point. When we die, we let go of all of that, right? So you, you've you've let go of fitness coordinator and fitness person as a part of your identity, as a part of your movie character, and it's brilliant.

Speaker 2:

You probably feel much lighter, you probably feel happier, more at peace you don't have for me, right, you don't have to defend that anymore when we're identified with something we find ourselves defending it and and so it's like but, but it's, it's the. The real challenge is to be honest with yourself about what am I where, what are those things for me, and to sit down for five minutes or 10 minutes, and I did this. I asked my executive team to do this on the last retreat that we had.

Speaker 2:

And just, I thought this was going to be 30 seconds Everybody could write down. You know, this is what I'm holding on to, this is what I'm identified as, and but it took 10 minutes. I mean, people had to really really think about it, and the lesson there for me was people hadn't thought about this before.

Speaker 2:

Like it was always a. It was always a true part of their true self. It's not something that they're holding onto, so people didn't realize that they have the choice Like you can let go if you want to, or you can hold on to these things.

Speaker 1:

And so um, I'm holding on to being a.

Speaker 2:

Gators fan and I always use this one Like, it's, like. I'm not going to let that go. I know that's a part of my ego, part of my movie character, my, my avatar, my false self, my. You know the, the. I am a Florida Gator. That's not who I am. It's, it's not real. I mean, that's just a that's a mind thing.

Speaker 1:

So it's a part of your life and existence that you find joy and passion and sometimes a little frustration.

Speaker 2:

So when we hold onto these things, we're defend, we find ourselves, you know, when things are good, we feel that that adrenaline boost or that ego surge or that, uh, dopamine hit, you know. And when things are bad, we were, we're down and we're angry or we're sad or whatever the emotion is. And so, as long as we're comfortable, knowing that it's my choice and I'm okay, going on these rides on this, on these swings of every Saturday, you know, is a judgment day in our house.

Speaker 2:

We call it judgment day because we get to judge every play that happens on the field and every player. And it's, it's, uh, it's, it's, I practice, we practice nonjudgment or tried to practice nonjudgment. Uh but uh, but that's a day where, hey, if you're identified with something, you can't really practice nonjudgment because you've self-labeled and then there's the other, you know the other team.

Speaker 2:

And so, um, yeah, it's, it's kind of, it's interesting. But but to become aware, back to the point, to become aware of the things and to know that we have the choice of either holding on or letting go, like I've let go of political party, I've let go of race, I've let go of nationality, I've let go of religion, I've let go of all of these things that I used to say was who I am, you know, and, and so people are like what you know, how is you? You? You are American, and it's like, well, you know you? You back up and you look out in space, from space, and there's no country lines. I mean, these are, these are societal constructs, these are, these are things that have been created within the matrix, within the society that we live in, and we all believe it and we all say this is the truth. You know race.

Speaker 2:

There's no scientific or biological evidence that race is a real thing. It's not. It's there's. There's as much difference between an individual so-called race as there are, um, between other races. So people within one race have as much genetic diversity as people between different races have. It's 99.9%, regardless of where you are. So it's the is create separation and limitation and defensiveness. Now I have to defend my identity. And so you know, you, you, you, once you let go of an of of something, you find a state of peace. And so we have to decide do I want these constant ups and downs or do I want this state of peace? And for some things it's like, yeah, I want to hold onto that, and for other things, other things, I'm letting go of it. And so you know, it's that's kind of the practice or the process, I guess.

Speaker 1:

So what things do you identify with? You mentioned the Florida Gators.

Speaker 2:

What else.

Speaker 1:

What else do you identify with?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I don't know. I mean it's when we take something to a belief, it's when we this is hard to kind of get into, this is pretty deep, but it's I guess.

Speaker 1:

There are legality, like legal standpoints too, Like legally. We are the parents of four children. We have a birth certificate that has our name on them.

Speaker 2:

Okay, yeah, which is in the in the matrix.

Speaker 1:

So do you identify as a father?

Speaker 2:

Um, not really, no, I mean, um, I see where you're going with this.

Speaker 1:

Do you identify as a husband?

Speaker 2:

Yes, Would you?

Speaker 1:

like for me to identify as a wife.

Speaker 2:

I don't. It's up to you as a wife. I don't, it's up to you Bullshit. I got bullshit on that. I think our relationship would be the same.

Speaker 1:

I got bullshit on that and I don't think it would be at all.

Speaker 2:

It might be more enhanced, okay.

Speaker 1:

For those of you who know old Matt, I just want you to soak in that for a second.

Speaker 2:

Which is why jealousy is like not a thing like it used to be for me, you know, oh God, no, you have like 180 degrees, right right, so it's, it's it's really been freeing from a just a.

Speaker 1:

Well, I think that was fear. It was fear of losing me, Cause at that point in time, like I said before, we were such a unit.

Speaker 2:

Ego is all fear. Yeah, I mean. Well, it's all attachment and it's all, it's all um resistances, like I mean. So the attachment is the one thing that's easy to see, but sometimes it's hard to see your resistances, but it's, it's the same thing, it's just the opposite. It's just the opposite. So I my, I resist, um, um, and people are going to probably, you know, take offense to this because they're identified as a religious person.

Speaker 2:

But I resist the establishment of religion. I don't think it's helping society, I don't think that it's doing any good for anyone. I don't think it's reducing fear of death. I think it's creating conflict, it's creating separation, it's creating division amongst people. It's not in line with what we see from near-death experiencers who have had experiences with quote-unquote God. It's not a religious God. It's an all-encompassing light that everyone is seeing and interacting with, but it is a God, but it's not a specific religious God. And so I've taken that one to the resistance phase no-transcript, where I was eating the physical body of Jesus every week and I was drinking his physical blood every week. That's the belief in the church. That it's not. It's not a metaphor. That's real for Catholics and most of them don't know that. But that's by by signing up for the Catholic church. That's what you agree to, that's your belief, that's the system.

Speaker 1:

And so, growing up that way because I, as you know, but I was just kind of free spirited my Nana was very spiritual and she used some reference terms from the Bible, but I was never really exposed to that type of organized religion per se, which I'm very grateful for. In the way that we've raised Tatum and Brody as well, I want them to choose one day. If something resonates with them, by all means, please follow your dream and whatever that leads you to. I just like to leave it open for them. So, growing up that way, did you feel like you had more connection spiritually? Like, did you? Because now that you've branched out, you do have a very strong spiritual connection. It's just not a religious connection and there's, you know that's very different. So what makes you feel, or what has been the biggest kind of internal shift of the way you were kind of taught to believe and like?

Speaker 2:

what your experience is now and this may be too deep Well, the biggest difference is that now I recognize that it's an internal look, that spirituality starts from within and religion is an external seeking where we're looking for something that exists, supposedly exists, outside of us. It's not something that we're a part of or that we're one with. It exists outside of us. It's not something that we're a part of or that we're one with. It exists outside of us, and so we're constantly looking for God elsewhere, in other places, and it's been. You know, the business of organized religion is the most successful business that's ever been created by mankind.

Speaker 1:

It's a 2,000 year old business. We were traveling all these cathedrals like how in the world. Do they afford to build them?

Speaker 2:

Because of their success because they're shaming people into donating money to their business and and guilting and judging, and so that, for me, is the biggest difference is that I've always felt judged as a um, you know in in the religious environment that then, and and shame was used as a tactic to control and to to dictate behavior, and there wasn't support, it was.

Speaker 2:

It was uh, this is this is the. The way, and it was always an attempt to gain moral or egoic superiority over someone and to attempt to show God that you are, you know, that you are whatever, you know above everyone, and so judgment is used as a way to shame and to control people within religious circles, and that has been my experience for my whole life, and so when I get a text from talking about my child who's playing poker, it's like you know what? There's nothing wrong with that. We don't need to say that that's wrong or that that's bad. It's legal, he's not hurting anyone, he's not losing any, any money.

Speaker 1:

He's enjoying himself, Right? I mean if he were in debt or had Right, and it's a different story. Yeah, I feel like it's setting boundaries on thing or teaching them to set healthy boundaries. And detaching having healthy detachment from something.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I understand.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

But again, that needs to be modeled behavior, not just like lecturing. It's like, okay, well, let's, you know it's great if you play however many nights a week, but if that's all you're doing and it's consuming you, then you know that's.

Speaker 2:

But this is kind of the.

Speaker 1:

Thought too, but it's teaching them to understand that themselves, not trying to control it. It's, like, you know, maybe encouraging them to observe, like do you feel like you have a healthy balance with that and everything else going on with life? Or you know and just, but it's a self-observation because we can't change it for anyone else, like we can only change what's going on with us, right, we can't control anyone else or try to. And I think the more we try to do that, the more we feel resistance towards that person or whatever it is, because we're trying to control the outcome, because it makes us uncomfortable.

Speaker 1:

Right, and that was always my biggest thing is like you know, when I was trying to control something or a situation, or a person or whatever it was, because it made me uncomfortable. And it made me uncomfortable because of my own inner beliefs, my judgments, my what I felt like was you know, I'm not in that person's shoes.

Speaker 2:

Right, yeah, it wasn't. It wasn't it that made you uncomfortable? That's where the accountability comes in.

Speaker 1:

Right, I know you're just, it was my thought process.

Speaker 2:

It was your thought process.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it was my thought process, it was your In my history. And I think sometimes where we kind of fall off and don't realize is if we don't take the time to really understand the root of why we feel resistance towards. And I have to do this all the time, like why is it that I'm resisting this situation or this person? Or this event, or whatever this stands for, and it's because it's, it's created something, something uncomfortable within me.

Speaker 1:

And usually that's. You know, like I said, I didn't have the religious experience, but I also I I feel like I I put so much self judgment onto myself that I was judging other people because I was judging myself in a certain way, you know, whether it was fitness or health or whatever and I think that it comes down to that too, like are there still little ways inside that we're judging ourselves or that we're feeling insecure, and how are we projecting that out?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, for sure, yeah, and it's, it's, and it's something that, for me, I need to work on having more um non-judgment for it.

Speaker 1:

You know I need to work on the judges. Yeah, you have to stop judging the judges.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, exactly, and um, and the, and just the process and what it's doing to.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I have to let go of my resistance towards it and that'll help me, you know, be be more at peace and it'll help me create less conflict and it'll help me, you know, and and so, but I mean I think that that just even having this conversation, which will be a public conversation that people will be able to listen to, I mean your, your mind starts thinking well, this is something that people are going to judge and it's something that they're going to to um, they're going to be judging based on their identification as a religious person, you know, and and so so there's going to be that hate and that judgment and that separation that's created because they feel as if it's an attack and they have to defend their self, their false self, their movie character, and that's kind of the basis of all of this.

Speaker 2:

And so for me to be able to have more acceptance and just understand what's really and what's really happening is I have resistance to something. Other people are identified with that same thing. They're going to defend it, you know, and um, and it's going to create conflict, and so I, the only thing I can do is not have resistance towards it, and you know that that's the only thing I can do, and so I have to work on observing that and letting go of that. And um, um and um, you know, other other people, at the end of the day are are going to do what they're going to do.

Speaker 1:

Right? Well, I'm just realizing that you know, everyone's entitled to their perspective and situation. Everyone's life is completely different and their experiences. I mean you can have, as we know, four children that have completely different life experiences than the other. Like you know, robbie and Drew have had more of a similar life experience than all four combined, but they're completely different people. They have completely different hobbies, completely different habits, completely different beliefs. I mean different hobbies, completely different habits, completely different beliefs. And you know, they're just, they're unique people. So just understanding that, I mean, and honestly, yeah, there may be some people that hate it and have judgment towards it, but you might be planting a seed for other people to be like oh wow, I've never thought of it that way.

Speaker 2:

I guarantee you, at least one person will take something from this.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and that's the reason I'm doing it, like that's kind of my intention for this.

Speaker 1:

It's like you know one person, if if each episode if one person it resonates with them, that's all that matters. Like, that's really. You know there might be hundreds, that it doesn't, thousands even, and that's okay. Like, and I think that it's important and this is kind of one of my life mottos is, you know, is like, I'm not for everyone and that's okay. Like, not everyone's not going to resonate with them, but for some people it will, and that goes for everyone. Like, and that, I think, goes to the societal kind of construct that we have.

Speaker 1:

On seeking external validation, to get back to your point earlier, it's like it all comes from within. Like if you're truly confident and at peace and you know you're feeling good about where you are and what you're doing and you feel you're purposeful and whatever it is that you're doing in your life, you don't care about that external stuff. You don't care if people are going to hate on it Well, okay, that's their experience and that's okay. Right, are going to hate on it? Well, okay, that's their experience and that's okay, and you know. So I think we stop seeking that external validation from wherever it's coming from criticisms and or even the good things you know. I think we forget about that too, like in all the great things, like if people love it and it's like, oh, we, we, we soak that in, we absorb it, but people hate it, we ignore it, like it's still a part of feeding the ego cycle, you know. So it's like just just releasing it. Hey, if I feel good about what I'm doing, that's all that really matters.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, stress is worrying about other people's perspectives or other people's judgments or and and of course, there's financial stress, you know there's, there's there's other types of stressors that that society creates, but society creates. But ultimately a big source of stress for a lot of people is worrying about what other people think and letting go of that and recognizing that it's just the other person's judgment that only comes because they're identified with something that they're defending. If we can realize that, stress really goes away.

Speaker 1:

Right, and when we think about the root and you had this earlier who do we start worrying about? First, what other people think Our parents?

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

We start seeking approval from our parents from like birth, right, like was it a good thing or a bad thing? Their facial expressions, like you can. You can tell so much about like from body language and facial expressions, so you don't have to say anything. So what is the first thing? Young babies that don't know how to communicate, they start looking like and I think about this with the new puppy you know like they are understanding judgment from the minute they're born the minute they're born like are they happy?

Speaker 1:

are they sad? Are they, you know, maybe not in the world today, where everyone's face is frozen from Botox, you can't tell as much. But that's a whole other podcast that I'm excited to get Dr C to talk about. But you know, that's just just so something to think about there. Like, even if we're not outwardly judging, it still shows, like I still got to work on my facial expression sometimes.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, for sure, yeah, and the practice is just observing it when we do, you know? Yeah, and owning it and just being like you know what I'm feeling some kind of way about this, and it's okay.

Speaker 2:

And then figuring out where that's coming from, right, like, what is it that I am attached to, what am I identified with or what am I resisting? That's creating that judgment and that's where I think, if we can do that and start to learn more about ourselves, that's the spiritual component of that. Self-awareness, basically, is what that is. It's awareness of yourself and so, yeah, being able to see those times in which we are doing that and then understanding where it's coming from. Most people can't even see when they're when they're.

Speaker 2:

I was having a conversation with with somebody, uh, from Sarasota on text a couple of days ago and it was like um, he, he said that, um, annalena Pauluna, or whatever, the, the, the Congresswoman that went on to um Joe Rogan's episode and was talking about UAP. He's like, oh, she's, she's, her past behavior has been very erratic and that's his way of kind of staying within this bubble of reality that he's created, um, that that doesn't involve uap. He's like he's judging her, as you know, some insane person or or whatever. And it's like I'm like, okay, but let's take judgment aside, and and he's like um, I, I really don't think I'm judging her and and it's like past behavior erratic. And so I asked chat GPT does that? Is that judgment? Yes, and so you know. You screenshot that and show people aren't even aware that judgment is so common, it's so prevalent in everything that we do.

Speaker 2:

Again, that's what we're taught from the moment we're born, the moment we're born everything is good, bad, right, wrong, and and and and every shade of that and everything in between. And it's like acceptance is really the cure to that of, of just of just observing without judgment, just just awareness. Without judgment, you can even, it doesn't even have to. Uh, awareness might be a better word than acceptance, even. But but yeah, not having to go down that path of this is good, this is bad, this is right or wrong, it's just is good, this is bad.

Speaker 1:

this is right or wrong, this just is, it just is. And when I think again, modeling the behavior of self-awareness can show other people what that looks like, what that feels like. So back to your point, with you know not parenting and having more adult relationships with the kids, it's like, you know, teaching them about self-awareness and how to look within themselves, to know when to regulate or change some things around or when they need to make life shifts and changes, and I think that that's like, especially when it comes to our kids, I think that we don't we underestimate the power that they really have to be. I mean, I think about. You know, we're so pure when we're born if we allow ourselves to be like we're. We're so pure if we don't really expose that.

Speaker 1:

You know a lot of the rigidity which I think we've done this time around with Brody and you know, like I said, we've we've had some challenges recently with some behavioral things and you know, nothing crazy, just lack of listening and wanting to be silly all the time and it's like, but that's kind of how we lead, the household is being silly and fun and I need a hug, and you know. So now it's kind of like every time we ask her to put her shoes on. But I need a hug. Okay, I love giving you a hug, but we still need to listen and put our shoes on.

Speaker 1:

So coming up with some more ideas and motives I think it's really just a structure thing, but I don't know. So, moving on to um, yes, moving on, what else are you doing?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, Well, I'm kind of following wherever life leads me and it's been incredible with, I mean, business wise has been great because, um, things are, the culture is in the best place that it's ever been. People are in the best place that they've ever been. The, the, just, their ability based on the kind of the, the, the, what we used to call values we're now calling practices, um, are, are, really kind of becoming something that people are understanding and beginning to practice and that's helping people through a lot of really difficult life situations. And so I'm getting all kinds of emails and letters and just thank yous from people that have that have begun to practice a few things, that that um are totally optional but but they're kind of diving into it and that's really helped them with personal life situations.

Speaker 2:

So, um, and business is really really good and and so you know, I think that a lot of that is correlated and that that um, that culture. Of course, there's much more to it than that. It's very complex, but but culture does does determine how successful you're going to be, because if you have a very oppressive kind of uh, um, a judgmental kind of a um, kind of a judgmental, kind of a egotistical kind of a culture, then those are the businesses that always fail, those are the ones that don't succeed or have a lot of turnover.

Speaker 2:

Or have a lot of turnover, and so people wonder how do you keep a 110-year-old retail business going right now, like every other business in America, is kind of failing or gone bankrupt or gone out of business and um, you know it's not a, it's not an easy answer, but but I do feel like culture is a big part of it and just the way that people kind of stick together and treat each other and and whatnot. So business can't be happier with. I mean, outside of that, I'm following my passion with this podcast and it's kind of led to a couple of things our Drake Island trip in the UK and the time with Graham and all of that, of course, but then other things as well. So upcoming. I've partnered with a team of scientists and engineers that are going to be exploring the big void within the Great Pyramid. So that's pretty exciting because there's this new void that's been detected a number of years ago I think it's been eight years or so now but nobody's been able to get into it yet or explore it, and so I'm helping this team, help funding the robotics portion of this, this team, and so that's led to all these great opportunities.

Speaker 2:

That's actually what led to our connection on Drake's Island with, uh, with the owner of Drake's Island, um, it's led to um, it's led to another exploration within the great pyramid ofid of the Queen's Chamber, the Northern Queen's Chamber shaft that goes up to the wall from the Queen's Chamber, and kind of looking behind this blocking door and seeing what's behind that. The South Queen's Chamber door has been explored behind the blocking stone, but the North hasn't, and so we're going to be doing that, scheduled for December. So that's pretty cool. I'm excited to kind of bring that to the world, you know, with this group of people of like, what's really in this big void in the great pyramid.

Speaker 2:

It's this huge. I mean, the whole thing has been explored and as a mystery and a wonder in and of itself. But now there's this whole new uh chamber that's as big as two semi trucks, that's in this, this building that nobody knows what's in there. So that's pretty exciting. Um, and then you know this Kurt Cobain uh thing, which, um, is something that I've been receiving um, um support on from my fans and followers and um, for the most part my, my family and the close people around me, but, but um, some, some family as of me, yeah.

Speaker 2:

And then not, not no support and a lot of fear, uh, coming from other members of my family and and a lot of shame and a lot of judgment coming from other people on that, thinking that it can, that it could be, um, very dangerous for myself or for our company, which is nonsense. Um, I mean basically nonsense. Certainly no risk for the company. We've been through all of that. But um, by the company I mean uh, bells, but um, um, so anyway, I'm just very excited about getting that case reopened and having Kurt Cobain's death finally be investigated, because I am almost 100% sure that he was murdered and the evidence for that is overwhelming. He was already dead when he was shot. Almost certainly there was no blood splatter, meaning he had no blood pressure. There were no fingerprints on the gun. The gun had been wiped clean. There was no blood splatter, meaning he had no blood pressure. There were no fingerprints on the gun. The gun had been wiped clean. There was no blood splatter on the gun. The shell ejected in the wrong direction. It was neatly placed on his jacket over in the corner of the room.

Speaker 2:

He had five times the lethal dose of heroin in his system when he supposedly shot himself. Heroin in his system. When he supposedly shot himself, he was already probably clinically dead from the heroin and they just wanted to um and there's all kinds of there's. There's so many people who have gotten confessions from um, the people who were involved, that um you know at parties or whatever, when people are drunk and you know they're talking about it and and uh, yeah, exactly, and so you know.

Speaker 2:

There's more than that. There's a lot more evidence than that Um, which we won't. It's not for this podcast, but but I'm excited to actually be um pushing that forward. I think that we've collected all of the evidence that needs to be collected at this point and now it's just the process of turning over that evidence to the proper people to get the case um actually investigated for the first time, because it was ruled a suicide the day that he died without any proper investigation. Um and um. The reason it was ruled a suicide is because of the media frenzy and and um and and someone said that a suicide was note was found at the scene, and so that the reporter came out and that a suicide note was found at the scene, and so the reporter came out and said a suicide note has been found and then all of a sudden it's global news Kurt Cobain commits suicide and they can't put that genie back in the bottle. It was never investigated.

Speaker 1:

Well, they never investigated it as a homicide. I read the book.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, from the PI or whoever yeah. Well, the thing to watch is probably, um, uh, soaked in bleach, yeah, on netflix years ago.

Speaker 1:

Years ago, that's, and I remember you being like what yeah, yeah, because we both grew up listening to him right right um, and you were intrigued from them. So you know again, it's one of your passions your passion, your justice right like your understanding.

Speaker 1:

I feel like that's like me and philanthropy in some ways, and I I love that you've you've followed that and I think that that's the glory of having these. You know, yes, um, you have this beautiful family business. It's allowed to very many resources and opportunities, but you also have your own business in your own life, right, and you're able to utilize that and leverage that however you feel fit. You know, and I think that that's one thing that I have really appreciated about this chapter is it's completely separate. So, yes, we again back to all the buckets.

Speaker 1:

Like you have a separate business that allows you to be creative and it doesn't have anything to do with bells and I think that that's okay and that's important, you know, and same with me, like I have the community outreach and all the things I do for bells, but I have this and I have my retreats and I have, you know, it's a completely separate, different avenue that fulfills me and and you don't have to have just one bucket in life. It's important to have multiple sometimes and it's not always easy to manage, but I think that that's been one of the biggest evolutionary pieces of your personal growth is having something of your own, not to get attached to it or identify with it or whatever, but I just think it's been, it's been huge and it's been great and it's really served a lot. I mean, you're able to just put a lot of cool stuff out there, right, that people are interested in, because it's stuff you're interested in and it's like how fun is that it's led to all these cool opportunities.

Speaker 2:

So you never know like it's growing like crazy too like you said, said I mean probably 300,000 followers at this point between the channels, so YouTube's been a little slower. I think that's some self-inflicted mistakes 60,000 on YouTube, though, you know but we've split out the shorts and the clips from the main channel now and it was kind of all jumbled together and that isn't good for their, their algorithm, but it's uh. Yeah, it's been fantastic and fun and I've met so many new friends and new people that I've totally vibed with, and and then you get some guests that you just really don't vibe with which is okay, you know, and most of the time it's just like they're just so.

Speaker 1:

uh, there's just yes, yes and that's okay. But again back to what I said earlier. I think when you get people that put so much energy and so much into something, it's hard not to identify with it because you put your whole life into it, so I think that's where a lot of that comes from.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

And you have a lot of really smart people, really smart people. Like you know, everyone's brain fires a little differently and some of us have a harder time detaching from things than others, because we can kind of stay stuck in it.

Speaker 2:

And that's okay. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, it's interesting.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes, like the scientists that you connect with that are supposedly the really smart people are actually the most you know, the most closed minded, the most Like the guy that, um, we don't have to mention names, but he was drinking a glass of wine at dinner and we mentioned something about psilocybin and mushrooms and he was like I would never do that because it messes with your brain. And we're like what the fuck do you think the alcohol does? That does too. All of it does.

Speaker 1:

Well, he mentioned psilocybin because he was on an island with Richard Branson and Richard offered him some and he's like no, I don't do drugs. And then he's sitting there drinking his alcohol. You know, it all has different, very different, but I don't know. I've tried both. I prefer the other rather than the alcohol.

Speaker 2:

Well, one creates neuroplasticity and one shuts down your brain right within reason, within reason, within reason everything within moderation, within reason right right um, but yeah, it's just funny.

Speaker 1:

But the scientists, and I mean you, you have a such a broad range a very broad like such a broad range, which is really great. So what else? Um, what haven Um? What haven't we talked about? I? Mean I feel like there's just so much.

Speaker 2:

I for sure don't think we can air this episode, but it's been a great conversation, no judgment, no regrets.

Speaker 1:

It's going, it's out there.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, no, I'm just kidding.

Speaker 1:

Um, what part of what part brings you the most fear of airing the episode?

Speaker 2:

Nothing, nothing. I don't have fear.

Speaker 1:

Don't judge him. He's just expressing his whole heart. You guys, yeah.

Speaker 2:

No, it's fine, I'm good with all of it. I think it's been a great conversation, but I mean, yeah, there's so much going on in life, just in general, and how do you stay regulated?

Speaker 1:

How are you balancing and maintaining your sanity between all the things? Because you do have the big corporate job, you do have the big podcast and adventures and opportunities.

Speaker 2:

You do have the wife and kids at home it's a lack of substances and it's a uh and it's a and it's the practices. You know, mean that's what's really helped me regulate is the four practices, the four key practices there's really eight in total, but I mean that has helped me so much just have a stress-free life of just total, being able to be in the moment and being able to kind of not worry and not stress and not go into future. I mean, when we're going into future, we're, we're, um. That's where stress is created, that's where fear is created, that's where anxiety is created.

Speaker 2:

You know, and so you know, that when your mind takes you there, and, and, and and, going into past, it's sadness, it's depression, it's. You know, we can look upon the past for sure with, with, and judge it positive, or we can judge it negative and create these and and hold onto resentment and create these, these spirals of just, you know, negativity and and, um, I think the, the really the like, the. The initial realization for me that had totally changed my life came after reading um eckhart tolley's a new earth and, uh, that's some rain, huh I thought that was ac.

Speaker 2:

Tell us what the practices are yeah, because my audience isn't as aware as right you're right, yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1:

Um well, I mean um like the ones that help you the most. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

No, I get it. Yeah, um, the. The first thing I think that I had to kind of realize was that I'm not my mind, and that is that, before you even think about it, any of these practices making any sense. You have to kind of create that separation between your true self and your, your mind, your true self and your movie character. Your true self and your avatar, the internal I am your spiritual self. If you identified with the things that are beliefs, the things that are resistances, the things that are part of my conditioning, that that's all the separation and the um. It creates a calm and a sense of peace and it diffuses the um kind of the resistance or the turbulence. But but so that is, I think, kind of basic to understanding the practices. Is that separation of mind, um from true self? But, yeah, the practices are authenticity, yeah, and so that what I just described is the practice of authenticity and so we don't have to go deep into that one, but it's just understanding the difference between my true self and my movie character.

Speaker 2:

The second is acceptance, which is basically observation or awareness, without judgment, to look at something, some events, or even internally, looking at myself, and not just being aware of it, just being aware that it exists and not judging it good or bad, or right or wrong.

Speaker 2:

And that's our minds are constantly.

Speaker 2:

The light comes in through our eyes and it's processed by our brains and so we're constantly scanning, we're constantly kind of looking at what's happening around us and processing information. And so the practice of acceptance is processing that information without judging it, without turning it into good, bad, right or wrong, and this was as far as I'm concerned. Jesus actually did have a lot of he and I would have vibed, I think of um, he was he, he, he, he, he and I would have vibed, I think um, he, he, uh, when, when the the story about Adam and Eve eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, um, to me that means that they became judgmental, um, they ate from the they, they became knowledgeable of good and evil, and that was original sin. That that is, in my mind, the um, and I think it's very clear in the Bible that that is original sin, that that they became judgmental when they ate from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. And so acceptance is the practice of, not of, of unwinding that quote, unquote original sin.

Speaker 1:

Or uh, didn't your mom call me the product of original sin when we first started dating she?

Speaker 2:

calls a lot of people.

Speaker 1:

That's always what I think about, but the funniest part is she doesn't understand.

Speaker 2:

You know, she just doesn't understand.

Speaker 1:

It was just different, it was fine. Yeah, okay, so authenticity acceptance.

Speaker 2:

Accountability is the third. So what happens after we judge something is we, um, we create mental turbulence If we're judging it negatively. It's an, it's a resistance that we're creating. If we judge something positively, then we're creating attachment or identification, yeah, or happiness, sure, yeah, happiness comes from positive judgment, sadness comes from negative judgment. And so if, if we get past, if we, if we're not practicing acceptance, and we get past that, so we've judged something, then we move to.

Speaker 2:

We've got another choice now We've got another option to pull ourselves out of this mental matrix of a world, and we can do that through the practice of accountability, which is the knowing that it's no one else's fault, that I'm feeling my turbulence because of my judgment of something, that if someone cuts me off in traffic, or, and I get mad, or if someone's playing poker too much and I get mad, or I judge that, as I've just judged that as wrong, and so I've created this mental and emotional disturbance. Well then, it's, it's the knowing, uh, of the, the fact that it's not their fault, um, there's no one to blame and I'm not a victim, and and it, so I can't blame them for how I feel on the inside mentally, and so that's accountability. It's kind of, it's the knowing that that I created my own mental situation based on my judgment, based on my lack of acceptance.

Speaker 1:

Or things that you've done, cause I think sometimes accountability can be external things. So if you have done something or been reactive or said something to someone, like, I think part of accountability is understanding a where that came from within yourself and following through, because you can be a complete asshole to someone and be like oh yeah, I observed myself, but like part of the accountability in that is like owning fact that you're an asshole or whatever it is.

Speaker 2:

Asshole judgment. Yeah, I mean so. So then it goes back to authenticity, it goes back to the first part, and so if, if you want, you want me to walk you through this, it's like the we become identified with something and that is that it happens at the point of the authenticity practice and then, based on that identification, we judge something and that moves into the acceptance practice and then, based on that judgment, we lose our mindset, we lose our mental, we create turbulence. If it's a negative judgment, we create attachment or identification or even addiction at times.

Speaker 2:

If we really judge something positively, like to the extreme, and we keep poker is the best thing in the world, I have to go play poker, and so it comes from my identification as a poker player and judgment as poker is positive, and then not being able to see that on the phase of um, of accountability and then presence is kind of the fourth um practice, where if our mind is taking us to past or taking us to future, then I can observe my mind as it's, as it's um, judging something in the past. It's it's lost accountability, it's lost acceptance, I'm judging that thing as negative, or I'm creating some future scenario that doesn't even exist, where I'm creating anxiety or I'm creating fear or whatever it might be, and so the practice is observing my mind to bring me back to the present moment from the past or from the future. So that's kind of the first four practices and a really really short kind of a basic high level overview nutshell.

Speaker 1:

Awesome. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. Yeah, well, it's been a lot of great insight.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, good, good, yeah, appreciate you. Just a perspective.

Speaker 1:

It's wild and crazy, I get it, but not for everybody but it's your perspective and that's okay, like it's your unique experience with your life and the way that you've chosen to you know navigate it all.

Speaker 2:

So I think it's a beautiful thing yeah, well, um, yeah, it's uh, yeah, it's interesting. Life always hits you in the present moment with things, with challenges or opportunities or whatever you want to call them, but it's how we respond to those things that life hits us with, and, for me, practicing really those four things I mean gratitude is another one Practicing gratitude. Openness is practicing being open-minded. Transparency is practicing being open-minded. Transparency is practicing being honest or straightforward, um, and so you know, practicing those things are a way that I am able to navigate through reality, um, in a reality that's not created through my beliefs, and, um, it's just practices.

Speaker 2:

You know, it's like a lot, of a lot of times I used to, and I think most people are, in a place where we create a reality through the beliefs that we have, and that kind of clicked a while back that, well, my God, no wonder there's so much conflict in this world, where there's 8 billion separate realities that everyone's creating through their beliefs, and so you know, this is the God, and then, on this side of the world, this is the God, and then on, and so, practicing non-belief, and which is openness, and, and you know, being open to other people's perspectives, but realizing that, um, what we're really doing is is creating our own reality. Um, is kind of kind of dangerous, and so just just I think that that that too is another, yeah, another key thing that kind of helps, helps me navigate anyway.

Speaker 1:

I feel like that. Really for me, just listening to you explain it, really all boils down to having compassion and understanding, I mean for yourself and for others, and understanding that, hey, like everyone's beliefs are different, everyone's life experiences have led them to be where they are in this present moment. So I can have compassion for that. Do I have to relate to it? No, do I have to, you know, dive deep and believe in it? No, do I, you know, just understanding that each person is very unique and just having compassion for others and myself, if I'm going through something and just really bringing it back to that, and I think that that is what really allows us to stay within a peaceful inward state is having that compassion for ourselves and others, because then we don't get attached to or try to defend or try to. You know, it's just okay. Whatever we can observe, we can have compassion. Yeah, we can take it forward.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, I think the yeah agreed a hundred percent. It's. It's a great way to. If we can replace the positive judgments with gratitude and replace the negative judgments with compassion, then it's a really, it's really a great place to be. I mean, you know, when we say practice non-judgment, positive or negative, um, okay, so what do I do? I just look at the thing that's happening, you know, I mean I, if it's something that I would judge positive, I think it's, it's a great way if we can replace whatever that wonderful thing is just for gratitude. And if it's a negative thing and if somebody is just being an ass, like you said before, you know, whatever it is just change that for compassion towards that, towards that person. Like I don't have to judge that person or myself as negative or a jerk or whatever it might be. I can just have compassion for myself because of the way that I acted or for the other person for the way that they're acting.

Speaker 1:

So, and in that I think when you have that compassion you're able to separate it. It helps you not personalize other people's stuff.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

And that's the key too. It's like when you have compassion, you also aren't personalizing whether it's good or bad. It doesn't have to be bad, um, and it just allows you to kind of have a free-flowing, open-minded perspective of all the things cool. But we'll appreciate you coming on today yes, I think we're getting rained out here. I can barely hear you over there I know.

Speaker 1:

Hopefully the audio is gonna be okay it'll be fine, um, but yeah, it was a pleasure to have you back on. We'll do it again. Another update and I think that it's, you know, a lot of things that you touched on will really plant a seed for other people to understand like just different ways, and it's always fun to have the evolution. I'll have to go back and listen to our last podcast and see how it's all changed up.

Speaker 2:

So thank you for being you I enjoyed it, yeah and for joining me Very welcome. Thank you for doing this life with me. It's been fun, yeah.

Speaker 1:

No one else. I would rather do life with um and identify as anyone else.