Krystel Clear

Quiet Season, Strong Boundaries

• Krystel Beall • Season 2 • Episode 29

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If the holidays feel loud while your spirit longs for quiet, this conversation is your permission slip. After hosting our first Krystel Clear retreat in Sedona, I came home with a new lens on planning, boundaries, and what it takes to feel truly nourished when the calendar swells. We traded rigid itineraries for a flexible container, and that one move unlocked deeper connection, transformative sound work, and a hilarious cliffside hummer ride that reminded us joy is medicine too.

We go deep on inner child work. Through simple guided prompts, we met younger versions of ourselves and asked what they needed today: more sleep, a playful hour, a quiet walk, or a full stop. That practice softened our inner critics, lowered reactivity, and made boundaries feel compassionate rather than cold. We also talk about the unexpected healing of receiving from male practitioners who shared raw stories of divorce, reinvention, and service, expanding our view of safe, supportive masculinity.

Back home, the harder part began: reentry. I cleared my calendar, stepped back from social media, and chose experiences over stuff for our family. We break down transparent RSVP scripts, early exits without guilt, and how to reset in thirty seconds with a breath, an apology, and a clean repair. We sit with relationship patterns, self-ownership, and the truth that peace beats perfection. And we anchor it all with grounded gratitude—writing a note to yourself about what you carried, what you released, and where you surprised yourself this year.

If you’re ready to choose space over spectacle and presence over pressure, press play and come along. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs softer holidays, and leave a review with one boundary you’ll set this season—we’ll cheer you on.


Thank you for joining me today. Please know that this podcast and the information shared is not to replace or supplement any mental health or personal wellness modalities provided by practitioners. It’s simply me, sharing my personal experiences and I appreciate you respecting and honoring this space and my guests. If you find my content relatable, please feel free to like, share and subscribe. Have a beautiful day full of gratitude, compassion and unconditional love.

SPEAKER_00:

What's up, everyone? Welcome to this episode of Crystal Clear. It has been a minute since I've been in here and done a solo podcast, which they're my favorites sometimes. Love the connection, but I'm kind of going through a little loner phase right now. And I love it. I think it's that, you know, kind of going with the seasons and bringing myself inward throughout the holiday season to try to just have some balance and protect my energy in different ways. The last time I was in here for a solo was like the grief and growth in July. So it's been a minute. And, you know, at that point we had lost our dog. We had all kinds of stuff going on. So lots transpired since then. We acquired a new one. Um, but I think my biggest thing has been I was able to host our first away crystal clear retreat in Sedona, Arizona, which was amazing. Took me about half a year to plan it. I ended up having a total of seven of us go. And we shared a beautiful house overlooking Cathedral Rock, and, you know, a broad range of energy types and people. And ironically, we had everyone was a single mom, except for myself. I'm married, and then um a participant who was newly married and no children, but everyone else was a single mom. And we actually had two that had registered that were also single moms. So it was really exactly what I hoped it would be. And I really went into it with like kind of no expectation, other than I wanted time and a chance for us to reconnect with ourselves, make connections with others, and be able to just pretty much get out of it what we put into it. And I think that that's really what happened for everyone. It was really great. I've been doing these follow-ups, you know, a week, two weeks post being back into reality, because let's face it, when you're at the retreat and you're diving deep and you're in this space, especially in Sedona, it's magical. So it's like this vortex of beautiful energy, it's healing. It's, I mean, you look around, and the red rocks are just so soothing and beautiful. The weather was perfect. You know, it's it's all fun and games when you're there. However, adjusting back into your life, you know, getting back into the routine, um, coming up with holidays and getting into this last quarter of the year, it can be very stressful for people, um, including myself, which was a huge takeaway. Honestly, we did a lot of inner child work when we were there. And I really try not to formulate and format a ton of the journaling and deep work ahead of time, because I think it's important to navigate and understand each person's personality and their goals and their wants and even the space that they're in when they're there. Because let's face it, when I send out the contract and the kind of questionnaire ahead of time, yes, that's good to get to know you. What are your likes? What are your intentions? But I mean, my intentions today are different than they were yesterday and probably different than they are gonna be tomorrow. So it was really great that we were able to just create this open space for each other. And I will tell you what, that is a huge, huge growth situation for me. Because I mean, five, six years ago, I would have been like, I have to have everything in line. I want to do this, I want to do this, I want to do it. It would have been so planned out and like to the T. But what happens when you overplan or you over-schedule, you don't leave space. And I feel like this entire year for me has been a learning evolution process of understanding how much space and time I need, whether it comes for myself or doing events or creating space for others, or just allowing myself to have some freedom and flexibility and being open to things, you know, not really working out the way that you would anticipate and really not having expectations for things, but more just holding, like holding it in a container and being like, you know what, whatever happens happens. And the way we evolve, we evolve. And, you know, we we kind of kept it really open and empowerment-based. Like, you know, if you want to participate in the sound healing one night and you want to go on the hike, but you don't want to hike and you, whatever. It was like a very empowerment base. Like these people, they spent their time, their energy, their finances, they invested in themselves to make this trip what they wanted it to be. And it's been so beautiful to have these follow-up calls and just hear how it's impacted them in different ways. And we all started out in different levels of our journey. I mean, from someone who's never done a trip for herself by herself ever, to, you know, someone who does regular retreats and travels solo often. So it was really wonderful that we could each kind of hold space for each other and empower each other. And we, you know, some of us were complete strangers, and the other ones, you know, more were more acquaintances along the way. So it was really an evolutionary experience for me. And just being there is like this is this is where we're going with Crystal Clear. I feel like it's more about, yes, I love the podcasting and the podcasting is so much fun, but I'm not super attached to it, right? Like, I feel like, again, it's one of those things that I'm gonna do this as long as it serves me and fulfills me and makes me feel empowered and enlightened, and I have these conversations to have, but the retreat space, I think, is where I'm really being pulled to in this next chapter. And it's just, I'm definitely not finished with Sedona. I definitely want to do that annually. We had some really wonderful experiences with um a sound healing at um Shine, which is really cool. I have a tattoo that says Shine, and so it's a Shine Institute and um Spiritual Institute in Sedona. They had um Three Trees, who now lives in Jupiter, Florida, was an incredible sound healer that just had just super transformational experience. That was unexpected and just something we kind of winged it when we were there. And again, if I hadn't have left that space open and created that space for us, we wouldn't have had the opportunity to just kind of plug some things in as we went along. So that was really impactful. We did a um shamanic vortex hike. So we had a shaman who led us to this beautiful vortex, and we did some spiritual drumming and we talked about, you know, a lot of the different stages of being open to receive and kind of having those adult adult relationships. And that was really beautiful. Um, we did another sound experience with Daniel of Sedoma, who utilized the didgeridoo. Like I had never actually heard of a didgeridoo until we went um for this particular sound experience. So that was awesome. And ironically, what I thought was really interesting is, and I didn't plan it this way because I booked through a few different, I kind of outsourced some things. Like we led, I led the meditations and some of the body movement and things like that at the retreat home, but I also wanted to outsource so I could enjoy it and and receive as well. And um, Spirit Quest, I booked through them and also Shine and um had this chef Nate who's amazing. If you're in Sedona area, Chef Nate is awesome. If you want his information, just link it in the comments and I'm happy to send it to you. He's wonderful. He did like a drop-off meal and came and did a cater dinner for us. And so essentially, um every single practitioner we had was a man, which I don't feel like was an accident. You know, like I mentioned, we had several single moms who went and participated, and I think it was really healing and a really great observation for them to meet these men in these vulnerable situations. And everyone's just super open about their journey and, you know, explaining that hey, I was in this marriage that wasn't serving me, and I got a divorce and I moved to Sedona and I started doing the shaman work. And, you know, they really were very open and vulnerable about their own healing stories and own journeys. And I think that was really impactful for all of us to hear them being in such a vulnerable space because it's not really something that you receive in everyday life. Um, so I think that really gave a broad perspective. And I loved that it was something that I didn't plan. It just happened to work out that way. And I think if I would have tried to plan it that way, it wouldn't have worked out that way, if it makes sense. So it was just a really beautiful takeaway, but we also left like time for fun. Like there was plenty of time to shop and walk around. And one of the last days we did like a um cliffside hummer tour where we um rode in this hummer on the side of a cliff, really. And it was a really bumpy ride, but it was so, I mean, we were dying. We were laughing the entire time. And each day when we did our meditation, we kind of called in something different and we set our intention for, you know, each of us had something different that we set our intention for. And one of the days we, you know, called in our version of ourself. And this is really impactful. So I would love for you, as you're listening, to maybe jot this down or try it yourself when you have the space and time for it. So essentially, we started with a guided meditation, had some sound work, and really honed in on picturing ourselves at a younger version of us. So at what age, you know, if you could picture a version of yourself as a child, what age would that be? Like, how old would you be? And most of us chose between about five and nine, um, which is interesting because I feel like that's the age range that the magic starts to fizzle out a little bit throughout childhood. Like we we're so imaginative and you know, exploratory and we have all of this just life and energy until like, in other words, until the world starts trying to mold us into something different, right? Until we get sucked into the pressures and the changes of society. So that was really impactful. And when we when we visualized that younger version of ourselves, like we brought her in and we really, you know, asked her, like, what does she need from this trip? Like, what does she want? Did she want more joy? Did she want more adventure? Did she want more stillness? Did she want more sleep? You know, and really kind of honed in on that version. And, you know, we did a few other exercises of, you know, what would we, if we could give her a hug? Like, what would she feel like? What would she smell like? What would she want to do today? And we brought her along with us on our days. And it was really impactful because, you know, the way that we speak to ourselves sometimes can be very different than the way we would speak to a child. So it's always really something to keep in mind, like when you your inner voice, your mind starts to take over and telling you things like, you know, you're not good enough, or you should have done this, or you could have done this differently. It's like when we speak to a child that way, much less our younger self that way. And it's just, it's really impactful to think about. And I feel like since then, I've really had more compassion and more grace. I mean, I've done a ton of inner child work over the past five, six years. And this in particular has like stuck with me. And I've really tried to kind of evaluate, you know, what is it she needs today? Is it playtime? Is it rest? Is it more nurturing? Is it snuggles? Is it warm soup? Is it something fun and adventurous? And really trying to pull that version of myself in and letting her know, like, you're gonna be okay. And and having different conversations essentially with this younger version of me, like whatever version that was that I pictured. And, you know, it's changed. Like since then, I've done a few different, like I did an empowerment journaling facilitation um program. And we did the same thing. And it was, you know, what younger version of us? What did she need during the holiday seasons? Was it a more present mother? Was it a family period? Was it, you know, less chaos and more quiet? Was it, you know, more travel and less alone time? And and really just taking a step back to evaluate what different versions of our inner child or young adult, or even, you know, us five, six years ago, what did we need that has that we can kind of supplement today and nurture that part of us that's still wanting and needing something? And I think that's a really great way to dive deeper into understanding where some of our core beliefs and conditioning and reactivity and even like ways that we navigate. I mean, we're entering the holiday season, let's face it, everyone's got something going on somewhere. There's all these opportunities that pop up. And winter is really a time for going inward and settling down. I mean, this is why most animals hibernate in the winter. It's really a time to be introverted and go within. However, in time for introspection, however, we've created so much like we have to go here, we have to do this gathering, we have this party, we have this going. And it's it's really not serving us to our best and highest good if we're overextending ourselves, whether that's energetically, whether that's financially, whether that's spiritually. You know, there's a lot of stuff going on out there right now. And I've really taken a step back from social media. So if you guys have noticed, I'm not posting that much anymore and I don't really engage too much on my social media platforms, just because I just I need a break, quite honestly. And I've given myself permission to take that break. You know, wherever this podcast goes, it goes. Whoever listens to it, it's meant for you. But it's not something that I'm pushing. It's not something that I just feel like I don't want to force anything right now in my life. And that's serving me really well. Like I came home from Sedona with such a different perspective on how I want to spend my time. And it was really healing for me to be in that space. And when conversations came up, um, specifically about relationships and, you know, people we want to be involved in and things that we've learned from prior relationships and maybe patterns that we're following, like, you know, different people, but same types of personalities. It was a really beautiful opportunity for me to have so much gratitude gratitude and respect and appreciation for my husband. Like he has chosen to do the work. Like you can choose to do the work together if the communication is healthy enough, you have the right type of support, and you're both willing and able to own your shit, which we talk about a lot on here. And I think that that's you know, it's it's less about, and I we had one participant in particular who's going through a divorce, and divorces are never pretty, even if they're super amicable. There's just always a lot of inner stuff that comes up when it comes to, I think that, you know, have having gone through one, I think it just we all have a sense of failure to a degree. When we go through something, it's like that. Like, could I have done more? Could should I have done more? Whatever. But anyway, her perspective, she's like, you know, coming into this, I was more like, he needs to do this, he needs to change, he need, you know, all these, this list of stuff he needed to do. However, I'm the one that is responsible for my own work and working on my own heart and working on my own patterns and my own reactivity and taking a pause before reacting. And for me, that was just it's life-changing. And I'm like, wow, this is your first ever retreat doing something like this, and this is your takeaway from it. Like if she was the only person that saw that, that's exactly what I did it for. Because when I figured that out for myself, and I'm always figuring that out in different ways, whether it's, you know, with different types of relationships or career or whatever, you know, the ball's in my court. And I'm the only one responsible for the way I'm perceiving and my perceptions are based on my own history and conditioning and influencing and perspectives and expectations and all of that. And so when you can kind of wipe your slate clean and give yourself the freedom to start fresh and start new, which we all have the ability to do at any point in time. For example, you know, you have a day where you're super reactive and you flip out about something. Guess what? 30 seconds later, you can take a few deep breaths, you can apologize, you can own it, and you can move forward. Like we don't have to guilt ourselves, we don't have to point fingers, we don't have to have shame tied around reactivity because guess what? We all hit our limit. We all overfill our cups sometimes. We all get to the point of exhaustion or, you know, just a place where we need to have an emotional release. And emotional releases are okay. And I think giving ourselves that permission going into this holiday season is pivotal. And just owning what is it that means for you? You know, we can have, you know, maybe some of us don't have full holidays and we wish we did. Okay, well, what can we join? Like, is there are there community events that we can fill our cup with holiday cheer and then go have some introspective chill time? Or maybe it's like, you know, we're scheduled here and there and everywhere. Like when I grew up, I lived with my grandparents, but I had like four sets of grandparents. So it was like, oh, we made the rounds. And obviously today I would do anything to make the rounds at all in my grandparents' house because most of them are deceased. But, you know, you went here and then you ate and you went here and you ate and you went here and you went presents. And, you know, it was just a lot of bouncing around and it was quite exhausting. So I always promised myself, like, I'm not gonna do that to my kids over the holidays. We'll try to stay as stable as possible. But not all of us have that luxury. So, in retrospect, it's like just taking that time in between and making sure to kind of reset yourself, set some boundaries, um, just really owning your own energy and knowing that if someone doesn't like it, that's not necessarily about you, it's about them. But also keeping things in consideration. And I will say, like, you know, last minute stuff does have a tendency to last-minute cancellations do have a tendency to hurt people a little bit more than than notice. So just try to be as transparent as possible. Be like, hey, we're coming, but we'd like to just keep it an early day, or we've already eaten, but we're gonna come and visit for a little while. Or, you know, just really trying to be as transparent with yourself about what your needs are and being open to shift and change that because, you know, we make these plans months in advance. I came home from Sedona and cleared my entire entire calendar for the rest of the year. I took a couple of meetings off that I was supposed to present at. I um I donated some tickets to events that we had. I just came back and I'm like, I don't think I have the space space, time, or capacity for that. Like I want to be able to show up for my kids in a settled, chill, nurturing way. And I know that I'm not able to do that if I am here, there, and everywhere. So I prioritized that this year and I was able to accommodate it. Now I understand everyone's situation is different, but there are things we could just have to be honest with ourselves. And it's like, are we doing it to meet someone else's expectations or to not hurt someone else's feelings? Or are we being quiet to just accommodate? Or is are we doing it because we've always done it? Or maybe it's okay to change that up. And if we're transparent, and I say this quite often, the more we're transparent and set boundaries, we teach people how to do that. So, you know, sharing with the ladies from the retreat, like I came home and cleared my calendar. I've had other people be like, you know what? I came home and cleared mine as well. You know, life has been lifing, obviously, getting back into the mix of the kids and the scheduling, but able to reevaluate energetically how that feels going into it and how it feels going forward. So I think that I just wanted to jump on and do just a quick little set your boundaries, own your stuff, and make sure you're taking time for you this holiday season. I think that, I mean, I know personally we're doing more experience type stuff in our household, whether it be some fun new game we play or it's just less gifty stuff, because I feel like we just have too much stuff and we're always purging anyway. But making more of an experience about something, even if it's something as chill as finding somewhere or building a fire and doing s'mores or going to look at a different place for Christmas lights or, you know, whatever holidays that you celebrate, or if you don't celebrate holidays at all, just being mindful of what serves you and what serves your energy. I feel like this time of year, I know in Florida is a really beautiful time of year, but not everywhere. Like some places it's already snowing and it's cloudy and it's, you know, dull energy and that can be fatiguing as well. But so what makes you feel good in that time frame and whether that's, you know, snuggling up with a book in a fire or finding, you know, a place to go to with a group of friends or just trying something new. Like I'm really intrigued to hear and I would love to hear some feedback. Like, what are you guys trying new this season, this holiday season? I want to know because I'm always open to ideas and I think it's fun to throw things out. Like we're actually going to a cabin, not over Christmas holidays, but after. And I'm super excited. Like we're taking our teenagers and their significant others. So this will be a fun and uh our little guy. So it'll be really nice to just get away and do something different in a different place and just have some chill time. Again, going in it with no expectations. I mean, you got five kids under 18 years old. Who knows? I mean, someone could get sick and you know, so just trying not to overschedule, but setting some stuff up that I think would fill all of our cups, but also leaving it open and empowered. Like if certain people want to go and certain don't, then that's okay. But leaving that time and space. And I feel like too, I used to like want everyone to have a certain amount of presents to open and didn't want anyone to feel left up, but you know, we're not doing that anymore. I feel like we we've we cleaned out our older kids' bedrooms just because they're in these transitional phases. One went to college and whatnot. And it's like they had so much stuff, like literally still in Christmas bags, that I'm not doing that. Like, we're not doing that anymore. And it's, I rather give back to other families and teach them like, hey, there's so much excess. Let's back some stuff up and give it away to other families that truly need it. And let's go have an experience or so, or let's just have some gratitude and appreciation. You know, Thanksgiving is coming up, and we don't really celebrate the the pilgrims coming over and slaughtering the Native Americans or anything like that, but it's more about the gratitude and appreciation and just a time to gather and be thankful for each other. And um I think that that is something I practice all the time. So I encourage you to really take some time to reflect on what you are grateful for. And it doesn't have to necessarily be anything spectacular. It could be like your warm tea in the morning. It could be, you know, the hallmark movies that are coming on that you love that you watch annually, and like the little things, and even maybe make some silos on your and like journal it down and just think of like little things, moderate things, big things like life and a vehicle and a you know, the ability to travel, the um, you know, just but take some time to really reflect on it and not for external stuff, but just for yourself, and knowing that that always helps us shift. I know that holidays can be very fatiguing, and both you know, health-wise, this is a time of year where a lot of people get sick and whatnot, and just take those opportunities to take a pause, take a break, take a rest, and really just try to enjoy you and do what fills your cup. And obviously, we all have those sacrificing moments where we, you know, things we need to do and places we need to go, and that's fine, but make sure to fill in some time for you and really evaluate. Like if you are doing the same old thing you always do, evaluate why and maybe change it up and do something a little different, whether it's hanging the stockings in a different place or, you know, putting your manure on a different table or I don't know, like something. Like, I encourage you to shift something in your season to change it up a little bit and maybe just have a different perspective and see if you can maybe face it all through a little different lens than normal. And um, I think that that's it's really been great for me coming home with this overall overarching big picture. Like I'm able to look at life, I think, more big picture than like the fine little details of I need to do this and this and this and this. It's like when I look at it more big picture, it really helps me not be as stressed or as kind of like, you know, gotta get this done in the moment. I'm able to kind of ease and flow more fluidly when I'm looking at it from like a step back, a bigger lens. Like I really came home, like I said earlier, with a whole new gratitude and appreciation for the amount of work that my husband does, like both on himself and his career, like for a household, um, the consistency. And it's just something that I think I needed to get away to see. I was very much in the space before I left of like, I have to get this done. I need more help. You know, this isn't I almost was setting like these like rigid boundaries again. And that's not healthy, like for anyone. So I was able to really take a step back and it feels good to take a little break. And he was totally cool and supportive about it and really appreciated the fact that I came back and was like, hey, you know, I really was able to take a step back, big picture, and really appreciate all the work that's being done on all parts. So I and even like for ourselves, if you don't have a partner or you don't want a partner or whatever, just taking a step back. And maybe it's just you that you are able to take a step back and list the things that you're grateful for. Like what have you accomplished in 2025? You know, what fears have you overcome? What small steps have you taken? What big shifts have you taken? You know, maybe there's been a move. Maybe you've gone through a divorce and it's been messy and, you know, you've had grief and loss and all these things, but what opportunity has that given you to shift? So I encourage you to write yourself a gratitude note this holiday season. Write yourself a note about what what was a yearly recap. I kind of do that for myself on my birthday every year. So recap your 2025 and really allow yourself to take some time to reflect on the love and the gratitude and what have you done? For yourself? What have you done by yourself? What has fueled your fire? What has shifted within you? Um, what relationships and and paths have you taken that have filled your cup? What has depleted your energy and you've been able to let, like, what have you let go of? That's a big one. Like, what have you given yourself permission to let go of this year? Um, is that external validation, seeking external validation? Is that, you know, some sort of substance? Is it shifting your exercise routine? Is it your career? Is it your marriage? Is it your partnership? Is it your, you know, place of living? Like, what is it? What have you let go of this year? And really allow yourself to reflect on all the beautiful things you've done for yourself this year. Because I think it's, you know, something we it's so easy to celebrate other people and their accomplishments. But I think this year, this holiday season, I think it's important for us to take a moment to just have some gratitude for us and um for ourselves and others, of course. But it really all starts from within, because the more that we can honor and really appreciate what we've done. And I mean, it could be little things like taking a walk every day, um, just switching your toothpaste is one you like the flavor better, like who it could be anything, right? But just something that's brought you joy, that's made you feel fulfilled, that's made you feel accomplished. Those are the little micro things that lead to the big shifts over time and the little things that we overlook. And I think it's really important to just take a pause and maybe jot them down. I was talking to a girlfriend and we, I was telling her, you know, she's in a space where she's moved recently and doesn't have a lot of connections where she is. And, you know, we were like, let's let's write some thank you letters to ourselves. Like, why not? Because we get into our daily routine and we're not realizing how much we're doing because we're just kind of on autopilot, right? So let's let's take some time for that, some time to honor ourselves for this season. It's a season of giving, it's the season of gratitude. And, you know, the more that we can give ourselves that love and appreciation and gratitude, the more we will be open to receive it from others. And that's a really huge. And when I really started to practice that on a regular basis and learn that on a regular basis and stop chasing the more, more, more or what's next and all of that, like everything got so much more peaceful. And I was able to feel more fulfilled on a regular basis than I was when I was constantly seeking something external. So wishing you guys all the love, all the light, such a happy holiday season or a tolerable holiday season, or whatever it looks like for you, let go of all the expectation you might have for yourself and allow yourself to feel the feels. It is totally okay to not love every little bit about all the stuff you're gonna have going on. And with that, we're gonna peace out and call it a day. Happy holidays.