Episode 154: Human Design and Shadow Work with Rowan Asad

 Join us as we unfold an intriguing conversation with energetic embodiment expert, Rowan Asad. Guiding us through her personal journey, Rowan shares the fundamental shift she experienced from leading a life she thought she wanted to make a fresh start empowered by understanding human design. We unravel the secrets of harnessing personal energy, moving forward with less resistance, and stepping into a life of abundance.

Learn more about Rowan and her work here.

To learn more about The Bliss Retreat, visit thebalancebliss.ca/retreat 

Chapters

• 0:01 Embodying Authentic Energy
• 9:43 Exploring Human Design and Shadow Work
• 22:10 The Importance of Self-Care and Self-Acceptance

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Welcome to the Balance and Bliss podcast. I'm your host, andrea Mondu, a three-time published author, speaker and a lifestyle transformation coach who believes everyone should be given the gift of knowing how to live their lives feeling healthy and empowered. Things like moving your body regularly and feeling it well, taking care of your mind, setting boundaries, practicing self and body, acceptance, personal growth, manifestation and everything in between. This is not linear and it's not just one thing. It expands into so many areas and on this show we're going to talk about just that. We're all striving to live a little more healthy and a little more well, but what does that even mean? My goal is to help you see that you can move from the mundane to the magic when it comes to living aligned and fulfilled, and by tuning in each week you can be assured you'll leave with nuggets of wisdom that you can implement into your day to day, like right now, to help you maximize your health, wellness and your life.

Speaker 1: 1:06

Now let's dive in. Hello everybody, welcome back to another episode of the podcast. You know how much I love all things spirituality and energies and just like leaning into practices that help you to really connect with yourself on a super deep level. So my guest is here to talk about all those things with me. So thank you. I was just saying before we hit record this episode's been a long time coming, hey.

Speaker 2: 1:39

Yeah, it has. But, like I said, divine timing. I feel like now is the perfect time to be able to talk all these things. Especially, you know, we just had the full moon yesterday. So all these emotions and the intuition is really at play, so I think it's great.

Speaker 1: 1:57

Yeah, I know I think it's I already like feel I was so there. I had so much excitement like leading into the conversations that I'm, that I'm having tonight, and this one is no different, so why don't you? Before I get to carried away, I would love for you to share with everybody, like what you do to support people in this world, and then I have so many questions for you.

Speaker 2: 2:22

Well, my name is Rowan Assad and I am an energetic embodiment expert, and basically what that means is that I teach my clients how to really embody their authentic self through self care practices, through a system called human design and just basically being able to understand your energy so you can move forward and really align with the things that you desire. So, living a life abundantly and, you know, just expressing yourself to the fullest, I think, is such a beautiful gift and we all have. I believe that we all came here for a reason. So, you know, being able to express yourself to the fullest is such a beautiful thing that we can all learn from.

Speaker 1: 3:07

So, yeah, and when you say energy just for people who maybe, like, aren't super familiar with it, like this is how I would explain it. Energy is not like literally how much energy you have to like plow through a day, but instead it's like how you kind of, I think, show up in this world and you know what people feel from you. Like, you know, some people might meet someone and be like, oh, I really liked their energy, or like their vibe, or they'll be like, oh my gosh, I really didn't like that person's energy, and so that is like all the work that you do. I'm always so curious of, like how people got into the way that they help people in the world.

Speaker 2: 3:48

Yeah, well, one thing that I because I always meet like skeptics, like people you know, sometimes human design and astrology and all these like woo woo things, people are a little put off, but I'm always, like you know, at the end of the day, we can all agree that every single thing is energy. So you know, chair, we're sitting on, money is energy. You know, everything is energy. So being able to understand your own energy can really help you move forward. And you know, when it comes to like physics and things like that not to get so like nerdy and sciency, but you know, understanding how it flows the more that you can hone in on energy, then the more it can flow and like you'll just come up against less resistance. So I think that's what we all want is just to be able to flow more and just, yeah, ride the waves of life. But, yeah, like to answer your question. For me I was definitely. It's interesting because I think a lot of people find their purpose either through like alignment or sometimes, when you're really off your path, it's like you get rock bottomed and that's kind of what happened to me, like I was living a life that I really thought was everything that I would have wanted. I was living in Dubai by the beach and, you know, living with a partner that I thought was everything on my list and you know all these things that I was like wanted. But then every day I just got this like niggling feeling inside of me that I was just so unfulfilled. And it took a lot of courage but I essentially like burnt my life down to the ground and left and moved back to my hometown, kitchener, and that's kind of where I started to rebuild my life and I, yeah, was really at a place of just feeling really lost, not knowing what I wanted to do. But I felt that internal nudge to start a business and start like that was just what I was like. What is it that I want to do? And I want to help people. I want to be of service, which actually shows up in my human design chart, which is interesting. But yeah, that's when I started.

Speaker 2: 6:02

I moved back into my parents base base minds, like that little trope of, like you know, starting all over again. But but yeah, that's when I just really just started small and started really integrating self care practices into my everyday life and started doing my skincare, started meditating every day and that's kind of where it started to build. And then, when I discovered human design, I was just like everything clicked into place for me. It was a huge aha moment and I realized I was trying to live my life like everybody else in my family, which they're all generators, they're all an energy type. And I realized that when I discovered I'm a manifest or energy type, I was like, whoa, this all makes sense, you know.

Speaker 2: 6:50

And that's when I just became obsessed with human design and I often joke, I'm like, because my energy type is only 11% of the population. So I'm like, oh, that's pretty special, figure out what it is that this all means. And then also understanding, like my family and the people around me. So that's kind of where it began. But here we are. That's so cool.

Speaker 1: 7:16

It's so like I always find it so powerful when I hear that people like literally lean into you, use the word niggle, which is really funny because I had never heard that word before. And last night, when I was doing my full moon ritual, when I was shuffling the card that came out of my work, your light deck was trust the niggle, and I was like, oh, I've never heard that. I can imagine what that word means. Right, it's like that little like inner nudge. Anyway, there's like a connection there.

Speaker 1: 7:47

I always find it so magnificent and I think that then as a coach or somebody who then helps other people, like, it makes sense that people would look at you and be like, okay, this work makes sense because you literally like lived out, finding a way to live in a way that really spoke to you authentically. So, human design I had somebody, probably about two years ago, come on the show and speak about human design and for my birthday last year my friends bought me a human design book that it was on my like Amazon wish list forever and I still haven't dove into it as much as I would like to. But I'm always very intrigued and I've learned I think I'm a three, five, if does that make sense for a three five? I'm a generator there's. I know it's like very, very complex, but for people who aren't familiar with human design and and what it means, and can you explain it a little bit for the newbies of human design?

Speaker 2: 8:52

Yeah for sure. So human design is a combination of a few different modalities. So the Hindu Brahmin chakra system, those energy centers. It also encompasses astrology, the Kabbalah tree of life.

Speaker 2: 9:08

The Chinese I Ching is also there, so it's like hexagrams and where, basically, where the time you were born, where all the planets were in the sky, they create different parts of your personality and you can learn a lot about, like, how to make better decisions, how to nourish your energy and you know you can understand the role that you play, a lot of things energetically in terms of like, how you present yourself to the world and even your purpose, like what you feel, what your energy feels really fulfilled doing in your life.

Speaker 2: 9:43

So, like I mentioned, I'm the cross of service, so that means like, for me, I feel really fulfilled, being of service to others and helping other people. So it is a very complex system. You know there's so many, even for me, like I'm constantly learning right now I'm doing course and money and human design and how that really shows up. So there's so many that it is quite complex and that's why I think it is actually really helpful to get somebody to be able to understand where you're at and apply what is applicable in that moment so that you can figure out how to navigate. Like I said, everything is energy. So understanding how to you know, understanding your energy, how to care for it, can help, only help you like, propel you forward faster, and yeah.

Speaker 1: 12:52

Yeah, I think that, like, really, I kind of envision it as like a tool and there's so many different tools that we can use to like understand who we are as as people and and how we show up and why we show up in certain ways. And you are right, it is very complex. I think what's really cool about it, too, is, from my understanding, it's like there is so much complex information that you get from it and that you can kind of hear it and read it and absorb and kind of take what you feel like resonates with you. It's not like a textbook of like this is who you are and so this is what you should be doing x, y and z, right?

Speaker 2: 13:30

Yeah, I mean like I think the most important thing that I learned from human design is how to trust your own internal compass and, you know, being able to lean in on yourself. I think that that's the most important and most important thing about human design. And to use any tool. Really, it's like I want people to feel empowered, I want them to feel like you can use this information for good and, yeah, I just think it's such a great tool and there are so many tools out there. But I think what I love about human design is it really lays things out in a way so you can learn how to care for yourself. At the end of the day and I think that's the most important thing that you could take away is like learning how to care, to trust and build a stronger relationship with yourself and and for the people that you love that are around you as well.

Speaker 1: 14:21

Yeah, I love that. There's so much beauty in prioritizing like building a relationship with yourself and doing all of these like small things that kind of resonate with you to try and like foster and build that connection. So one of the things that I wanted to ask you about and it's again all in the timing is I wanted to ask you a little bit about shadow work, which I'm not very familiar with, but as soon as I I knew that that was like kind of something that you were leaning into, I was like, oh, I want to ask her about this. And then I saw on your Instagram today that you were literally reading a book about it, which is hilarious, but you know not. Not coincidence, I would love to know what exactly is shadow work.

Speaker 2: 15:11

Yeah, so shadow work is. It's probably the thing that I think creates the biggest shifts in our lives, because you know so much of life is about our perspective and you know we can go into, like, the neural pathways in our brain and how we need to rewire them in order to really manifest the life and that we desire. But shadow work is all about. It's basically parts of ourselves that we have tucked away into the shadow.

Speaker 1: 15:38

That's what I envisioned.

Speaker 2: 15:39

Okay, yeah, keep going, that we like either rejected or you were shamed for, or you know like a good example is like somebody who has this need to be seen, or like they want to be on stage and like they love this, like performing.

Speaker 2: 15:57

But then when they were a kid they were told, oh that's, that's really silly. Like only people who do that are like self absorbed or like they don't care about other people or whatever. Like programming got or projections got put on to them, so then they will. Every time they see somebody like performing, they might get triggered. So it's almost like this, like response, and yeah, it's, it's really interesting and it really does fascinate me. I always I'm reading new books on shadow because I think it's such an interesting subject, but we have so much in our subconscious that really rules our conscious brain in our lives. So, being able to dig deep into ourselves and really see like, okay, what are these parts of myself that that I've rejected, and how can I bring that into the light so that I can embody it and really come here to step into the full, authentic version of of who I am.

Speaker 1: 16:55

I love that so much. I'm very big on like helping people to acknowledge the stories that they have been told about who they are and what they should look like and what they should be doing, and a lot of those stories. I'm just seeing the parallels. A lot of those stories are typically things that we have been given or that were projected, to use your words on us when we were younger, or by the media or whomever it is, and we go into a situation and something happens and we react in a certain way and then we're like. Some of us maybe just don't even think twice about our reaction, but others are like why did I say that? Like why did that create such a visceral response inside of me? And if you don't spend the time to think about why that could have been, you're going to continue to be on this cycle and you're going to repeat that loop forever.

Speaker 2: 17:55

Yeah, for sure. It's like so much of our reactions, the ways that we think of judgments. They're just so automatic and it does have a lot to do with just societal programming, programming from the people around us and the more that we can just like. The first step for any journey that you want to go on, that you want to be on, is awareness, right Like you need to know where you're at in order to figure out what direction you need to go in to reach your desires and your dreams. So I think, yeah, the whole concept of shadow work is really bringing the shadow to light so you can release and move forward and live authentically. So I think it is so important.

Speaker 1: 18:41

So maybe I intended on doing shadow work with this podcast not actually, but like a lot of the driving force for me for this show is like having those conversations that people typically wouldn't have. It's like I'm the flashlight and I'm shining the light into the corners of like all those things that we typically don't talk about. But, like you said, the first step is like awareness. So how and I know that this is like one of the things that you do like how do you start that like investigation process of like what is going on? For me, you know, like it's probably like where do you start?

Speaker 2: 19:20

Yeah, so, yeah, I mean that's why I love human design, because it gives you basically this blueprint, like this roadmap of your energy, and it's like you know, if certain things like I can even think about, for me I as a manifestor I'm supposed to be an initiator, but that was such a difficult thing for me to do is like go out there and like get, go after the things that I want because of fear fear of rejection, fear of like being judged. But, yeah, the first thing that I always say in my clients because I do have this new offering where it's a one on one session and it is actually called energetic investigation and we look at your human design chart and then we look at what it is that you're really struggling with in your life. So where are you really hiding? Where are you not feeling like you're reaching your potential? So it could be in relationships and career.

Speaker 2: 20:16

And the first thing that I always ask is like where are you feeling really triggered? Because your triggers give you so much information. Are you feeling small? Are you feeling like, are you feeling overlooked? Like where is it that you're feeling? Like you know that visceral response that can give you a lot of really good information and how to the area of your life that you really need to look at. You know.

Speaker 2: 20:43

That's why I love pairing human design with self care, because self care is all about grounding down into your energy, caring for yourself, really looking within and seeing how you can really release. You know, especially after the high seas, full moon, and that's what I like. I know I was doing a lot of releasing and understanding maybe some emotions that I was like holding onto that needed to be let go. So, yeah, looking at your triggers is a really good way to see an area in your life, and also relationships people. They're the best mirror that you can have. So where are you judging other people? What is something that you really don't like about others? Those are things that you are probably like really judging yourself for, and where can you let go of that a little bit. So I think we don't give ourselves as much credit for how much how we are responsible for our lives. Our lives as they are right now are just a reflection of our subconscious.

Speaker 1: 21:48

So and a subconscious and stuff that we like don't often give a lot of attention to because our brains are like so much on autopilot, right, like there's so much they're like the most complex computers that ever existed and they have so much like coding that happens that we don't even realize.

Speaker 1: 22:10

And you mentioned self care a couple of times and some people think of the word, myself, honestly included. Like before I had really dove deep into mindset work, like I thought of self care as like okay, I'm gonna go get my nails done and do like really like outside kind of stuff and then that's gonna kind of fuel me to show up the best that I can in my life, when in fact, like it goes so much more beyond that and we're doing ourselves really a huge disservice, obviously, like that trickles out into the people around us, but we're doing ourselves on a sole level a huge disservice when we're not taking that intentional time to understand ourselves better and understand, like, what makes us tick and why we are the way we are and which programming is holding us back, cause we think like, oh, I'm just, I'm not happy, what's beneath that? That's really the reason for why we're not happy, which it sounds like that's what you do with reading someone's chart.

Speaker 2: 23:18

Yeah, well, I do think that a lot of the times as human beings we get like again. Like you said, we're in that autopilot. The change is really difficult for a lot of people. So I think you know, doing those like cause she taking a bath, like skincare, was a big one for me. But I'm so grateful for those small physical things of self-care, aspects of self-care that really actually allowed me to go deeper and deeper and deeper into the deeper methods that I think really helped me now that are just a part of my everyday practice for self-care. But I think for most people, even putting on a face mask, going and taking 10 minutes and like taking a bath or like something these simple things they seem a little like superficial but they're actually a really great like gateway self-care to the deeper aspects.

Speaker 2: 24:13

Like it's that book Atomic Habits, like it's all about the small shifts. If you really want to see the prolonged change in shifts like they start small, you don't have to. You know, jump off a cliff, you can and. But oftentimes what happens is that you just like go right back to where you were. So looking at what and deepening that practice and that relationship with yourself. Like start small, do the small things for yourself. Maybe that's even like making your bed in the morning. It's like you're just advocating for yourself, doing things that are gonna make you feel good, and it's like what would make your life easier later. What would you do for a friend? Sometimes that analogy makes things a little bit easier to. It's like, yeah, it would totally help my friend and like, do something kind to them, but would I do that for myself? Like probably not. So looking at yourself as your own brand because, at the end of the day, the relationship that we have with ourselves is the only guaranteed one we're gonna have for the rest of our lives.

Speaker 1: 25:13

So yeah, I do this thing with myself and it's kind of been a practice that I've adopted like the last couple of years. If there's a task that, like I don't necessarily want to do or there's something that I'm like, oh, I don't wanna like go there or do that, I always think like, yeah, but this is helping out my future self. So when I reap the benefits of doing these dishes tonight, this is like very simple. But when I reap the benefit, like I'm gonna do these dishes tonight and it's gonna drive me nuts, but tomorrow morning when I wake up, the kitchen is gonna be clean and I'm automatically going to feel like a different energy when I start my day than if I wake up and I see like the dishes full of stuff.

Speaker 1: 25:57

And I love how you said it's like the small habits, because I think that we're in a society that really wants that quick fix and that thing that's gonna like okay, I'm feeling this way. Tell me what I can take, what I can do. That's gonna make me feel better tomorrow and absolutely, like you said, you can jump off the cliff if you want. It doesn't always work out well, but what really understanding that it can be and that it will be a journey over weeks or months or even years, like I know myself. I'm still continuing to grow and learn, and when you can wrap your head around the fact that it really never ends, then you're almost like giving yourself permission to like. You don't have to like get to that finish line, because there is no finish line.

Speaker 2: 26:46

Yeah, and I think that's what allows you to. At least for me, it like allows me to have more self-compassion for myself, because this journey of embodying my authentic self, it definitely hasn't been linear. I definitely have had moments where, you know, I feel like super confident in myself and then, like literally two weeks later, I'm like I don't even know. I did stand up comedy for a little bit and now I'm like I don't even know how I did that. The thought of going on stage just makes me feel like I could never do that again. But it's understanding the ebbs and flows of life and like where you're at. And I think that the one thing that is always guaranteed is like, even when I'm having a really bad day, it's like tomorrow's going to be a new day and the lows always really just increase my capacity for the highs.

Speaker 2: 27:40

Again, this was in my human design chart.

Speaker 2: 27:43

Like I'm an emotional authority, so I really ride the waves of the emotions and you know, for a while I really struggled with that, like I struggled with depression, and you know it's because I was always hanging on to the highs and really trying to reject the lows, but I just accepted it and you know, when I do wake up one day and I'm like, yeah, I'm not happy today and that's okay.

Speaker 2: 28:09

So I think self-acceptance of where you're at and meeting yourself where you're at can be really profound, and being able to navigate and understand how to move through the highs and lows of life Because that's just the journey that we're on and it doesn't ever end right, like we're constantly growing, we're constantly understanding. But I think the most important thing and this is what I've learned from self-care is like being able to be present in the moment, because that's what life is. It's not about the next minute or the one that just happened, it's about what is going on right now. And I think I've wasted so much of my energy being either caught up in the past or caught up in the future, and it's like more you can just ground down in the present moment. That's truly the gift of life and you know that cheesy thing it's like that's why it's called the present, but it really is, you know.

Speaker 1: 29:04

I love that and like also, you never know what work still has to be done and you never know when a situation or something may trigger you and you may think that you're fully healed from X, y and Z, whatever it is. I've done all the work on all of my stuff and you will still forever, always, and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, but you will forever, always be in situations where you're like oh, I feel something Like I thought that I had healed from all of that stuff and it just, you know, it lends itself to the reality of the human experience, but there will always be OK cliche sayings, there will always be another mountain to climb. You know what I mean. But, like, the view at the top is always great.

Speaker 2: 29:54

Sure, and I think it's like as human beings, we are just so layered and it feels like the more that you're doing this healing work and really understanding yourself, you're just peeling back more and more layers and there's going to be more shadows in there, there's going to be more triggers in there, and it's just if you can always just meet yourself with self-compassion and really say, like any person that's gone through all the things that I've gone through will react the same way, it just gives you so much grace in being able to move forward.

Speaker 2: 30:26

But one thing that I really believe too, is like I don't believe everything happens for a reason. But I think that we can be empowered enough and make that choice to really give our pain a purpose, and I can say that that's been a huge thing in my healing journey. You know the painful experiences that I've gone through. They've really allowed me to be able to connect with more people in a truly compassionate way, and I think there is a gift in that. And you know I wouldn't wish anything on anybody, but I do find it really empowering to be like okay, I have the power to turn this into something purposeful.

Speaker 1: 31:10

Yeah, I thank you for saying that. It's so true. There really is like always a lesson in something and you know, as you've been talking, you shared like three of my favorite words that I often share like at the core of the work that I do around specifically around like body image and coming to a place of like body acceptance, and it is just like that, like acceptance and compassion and grace, like all of those things are such like there are three great words that you can use as tools when you're navigating this world in literally any situation. If you meet not only others but, more importantly, yourself, with compassion, with acceptance for what is and with grace around what that is like, you really can't go wrong.

Speaker 2: 32:00

So true. And you know, I think it's really interesting because, as I've moved through self expression and especially I love different modes, like I mentioned, I did stand up by. You know, fashion is a huge part of my expression makeup, like. Even I just signed up for a burlesque class, like in a workshop. So I'm going to be doing burlesque and I'm just really all about finding these different ways of just expressing myself with the world and I want to put that energy out there and share it with the world.

Speaker 2: 32:31

And it's interesting because, like through fashion, I remember growing up and just absolutely hating my body and I remember being, like you know, in grade five and hating my thighs, and that has lived with me and grown with me and I've tried to really give so much love to myself, but it always comes back up, you know. But then I like kind of did this, like mindset shift and because through time, fashion is always changing and always shifting and I, when I feel those like down days, I'm like no, I get to decide what is in fashion in my world and it's my body, you know. So it takes like some days are easier than others, of course, but I think the more you can just give yourself love and, yeah, it just allows you to really express yourself in whatever way. And I think the cool thing too is like the right people are always going to see you for who you are, and I always say, like not everybody has good taste, so I don't like you, that's on that.

Speaker 1: 33:46

So true, so true. And listen, speaking of fashion and trends, I will never leave skinny jeans behind. Go back to the flares, like I just can't do it. I love my skinny jeans. Anyway rock on. So how can people connect with you if they want to work with you or if they want to learn more about you? Can you share that with us?

Speaker 2: 34:13

Yes, for sure. So I'm on Instagram, muse, selfcare, and I also have my website, use selfcarecom. And yeah, I'm always happy to connect and anything spirituality, human design, just like embodying our true, authentic selves. I'm all about that and I really do believe that when one of us can really step into our power, we all are expanded by that, and I think it's just amazing to see people who either look like us or we resonate with them in some capacity, seeing them rock on. It's just so empowering and, like I said, we see to believe, so we can see that that can happen for us too.

Speaker 1: 35:01

Yeah, it feels like we have permission almost then. If somebody else is doing it, then you can follow that, Follow that niggle for yourself if you want to. So you'll have to correct me if I'm wrong on this, but fun fact I use the Gua Sha that I bought from you at a witch market a couple years ago A couple years ago maybe, like so regularly and I often think of you like when I'm using it. I'm sitting in my bed like rubbing my face.

Speaker 2: 35:33

I remember that you got the Rose Quartz one.

Speaker 1: 35:35

I did. Oh my gosh, you have such a good memory. That's so beautiful. You probably saw so many people that day.

Speaker 2: 35:44

You know, energy, it's all about energy.

Speaker 1: 35:47

Yes, oh gosh, this conversation really has literally come full circle. Thank you so much for sharing this time with me and for lending your wisdom to everybody who's listening. I really appreciate it.

Speaker 2: 36:00

Oh, thank you so much for having me on and always for lifting other people up, so I just love it so much and keep on going. I think it's great.

Speaker 1: 36:10

Thank you so much, everybody. I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day and, until next week, stay well. Thanks so much for being here. I hope you're leaving with a full heart, some inspiration, or you're feeling the kick in the butt you felt like you needed. If you really enjoyed this episode, be sure to share it with a friend or let me know Rates, reviews, subscribing and sharing are all great ways to support the show, and if you want to stay in touch, follow me over on Instagram at thebalancebless. Thanks for listening today and stay well.