I Put This Down To Save Myself... And Now I'm Back!

Andrea is back to the mic with a new name and a clearer purpose: helping ambitious female founders quiet the inner critic and lead themselves through bigger levels. She shares the story behind a three-year hiatus, what burnout looked like in her body, and why mastering the inner script changes how we scale. 
 

Transcript

The Ripple Effect Of Impact

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Far that I could never measure how far the ripples have gone. I just got total goosebumps when I said that. If I could have my life experience, what I've learned, my knowledge, my expertise go so far and wide that I can't even measure it, then fuck, I have fulfilled my life's purpose. Welcome to Flip the Inner Script, a podcast for female founders who are over their inner critic showing up when they are scaling to bigger things. This podcast is for the woman who has built something and still finds herself wondering why success doesn't feel the way she thought it would. We'll dive deep into inner stories, social conditioning, self-leadership, identity, and what it actually takes to master being the woman who meets her next level. This is your permission clip to finally flip the script so that you can unlock the success you dream about. Let's go.

The Rebrand And The Return

SPEAKER_00 0:56

Holy cat, I am back recording. And in fact, I feel so rusty that I sat here for like three minutes deciding how I wanted to even start this episode. Hello, it's me, it's Andrea, I'm back. Welcome to the completely rebranded, relaunched Flip the Interscript podcast, formerly the Balance and Bliss podcast. So if you've been here in this community for a while and you've been waiting for a new episode of the Balance and Bliss podcast to drop, and now you see this one and you're like, what is happening? That is what's happening. So I have been on podcast hiatus for almost three years. I decided to put my podcast down in September 2023, and I'll tell you a little bit more about that story. But ever since then, I have just missed podcasting and connecting with my community in this way. It was one of those things where, and it's so funny because I used to always be worried about what worrying about what people thought that I was gonna say or what people thought about me or caring if people even were gonna care what I had to say. And the reality is, is that there have been so many women that have been impacted by this podcast. There have been so many women that have been impacted by my books and by the communities that I have, and so many clients that I've worked with who have had massive, massive change and impact. And I mean, that is one of my ultimate deep core values is creating impact for people. And so if that is what I desire, that is what I stand by, then I have an obligation and a responsibility to show up on the mic to connect with people in this way in the podcast realm. Because how dare I not? How dare I not share this gift with the world? And you know, this isn't a mindset, of course, that I have always had, but listen, this is a mindset that I have now, and I am back and I want to tell you a little bit about where I went.

When Success Triggers Panic

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So let's go back to September 2023. I was recording, editing, producing a solo podcast at that time, and simultaneously, like I was doing all the things in September 2023. Clara, my eldest daughter, went back to school. Eloise, my second daughter, was in full-time daycare. And I was like really gunning for that time of the year. Prior to that, you know, Eloise was born in July 2022, and I went on Mat leave from my part-time teaching job. And I did not go on Mat leave from my business, my balance and bliss coaching business. And um, as much as I was doing so much heart-fueling work, like it was it was a lot, you know, like I was doing figuring out what it would be like or what it was like to be a mom of two kids and navigating that life transition. I was doing the podcast. I was, you know, running co-author projects. I was starting to write my book at that time. I was planning uh the biggest event of my career. I was getting out there more in terms of my career. I was speaking more, I was connecting more, I was seeing clients, I was planning an international retreat, like so many things that I was doing during this time, really trying to grow and expand my business. Because listen, we start our businesses because we want them to be successful. And they're not going to be successful if we sit at home, do nothing. And I really truly believed that I just if you don't work, like if you do what you love, you won't work a day in your life. And so I just did. I did, did, did, did. I did in the evenings. I did during nap time. I tried to work in every block and pocket of time that I could again on all of the things that really fueled me, that really filled me up. And then when September 2023 happened, we're back in school. I remember I was sitting in the parking lot at Waterloo Town Square. Um, and I was in my car, and I had just finished a really exciting meeting, and I just felt this overwhelming sense of panic. I don't know if you can relate with this, where it's just like you feel like everything's going right, and yet your body is just screaming at you. And that was me. And at the time I didn't know what was happening. You know, I had spent so many years doing inner work and working through my anxiety and going to therapy, and I did all of those things. So I had a lot of the tools, and yet I still could not pull myself out of this like anxious energy that was all it was constant. And I just remember being able to pinpoint it, pinpoint it in that moment in my car, and then I was just like really hyper aware of it. And you know, that month I got hand, foot, and mouth from my daughter who got it at daycare. I did not know that adults could get hand, foot, and mouth. Okay. I did not know. In addition to that, I was breaking out in this rash all on my face, on my nose, around my eyes. This was in addition to the anxiety that I was already feeling. Like I remember this one moment where I was sitting down and watching a movie with my husband, and I'm watching the movie, and I could tell you exactly what movie it was. It was about this guy. Like, it's the guy from Pitch Perfect. Um, I forget what his name is. He's also on, I think, Parks and Wreck or some other kind of show. The um, it doesn't matter anyway. It does not matter. Um, but I was watching this movie about like this phone, and he this phone was so like he was so connected to it. Um, and I'm watching the movie. So I'm intaking the movie, but I almost felt like I was having this out-of-body experience. And if you run your own business, like you know, right, there's so many, there's so many tabs open at any given time. And I mean, I can confidently say that I've gotten to a place in my business and in my mindset that I can close those tabs quite quickly. Um, and but at this time I was just like thinking about all the things that I had to do, waiting for the moment that I could sit down and do them. And yet when I checked things off my list, I still felt like I had so much to do. And I was laying in bed at night, you know, in the dark with this anxious panic feeling, the same one that I felt in my car that day. And I was just like, I don't understand what's happening.

Burnout Signs And The Breaking Point

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And fast forward later in that month, I went to a brunch. I went to a female founder's brunch and it was a connection event. I was going with two other friends of mine who were also coaches, and it was out of town. I'm packing my bag to go there the next day, and I'm just in tears. I'm I'm crying, like sobbing as I'm and I'm like, why am I even crying? You know, like I just I was so overwhelmed. I messaged the girls and I was like, I don't even know like if I can come. I sent this really raw and vulnerable voice note, and I was like, I don't know what's happening to me. I don't know if I can come or not. And and they were so great, you know, they were like, listen, we will take you however you are. And, you know, we would love to encourage you to come and and let us like pour into you and let us support you, but also we understand if you feel like you need to stay home. And I did end up going and we went to the fabulous brunch event at the Pearl, and then we went, we stayed at the hotel overnight. And so we just went back up to our room and put our robes on, and that's what we did for the rest of the evening. We stayed in our hotel room, we watched TV, we ordered pizza. I cried a whole lot. And one of the things that came out of that conversation was um, and and maybe you're listening, going like, hello, alarm bells, you were burnt out, Andrea, but I never really like connected with that identity or that like word, even really. I was like, how can you be burnt out by all of the things that you love? Like everything is so exciting right now. And one of the things that felt really heavy was that I had a keynote, my first keynote opportunity in October, of which was in a month. And I was like, how am I ever gonna possibly be ready to deliver this keynote on stage when I feel like this? And one of the things that we talked about was, you know, as much as we love everything that we have to do, sometimes we need to put something down. And we were literally like mapping out, okay, what are all the things that I'm doing? How many hours are they taking me? How much time am I spending on those things? And where can I delete something off of my plate that is going to give me time back? And that one of the that it was the podcast, you know, and when my friend suggested maybe you need to put the podcast on pause right now, I just cried even more. I was like, I love the podcast, I love sharing in this way and talking and connecting. Like it's so beautiful, it's so impactful. Um, it makes such a difference. And, you know, there's also that element of like, I was worried about what people would think. Like I've been podcasting for three years and like, are they gonna think that I just quit and that I just gave up and you know, was putting all my time and energy into this thing. And now it's just like, are they gonna think that it was a failure? Like all of these things that we do without listening to ourselves. And so I they said, you know what, you don't have to make a decision right now. And um, and I really appreciated that. And I slept on it, which is another thing that I've been getting a lot better at is not answering in the moment. It's just like, let's sleep on this. Let's sit, let's let this text message stay unread for three hours. Or let's actually verbally, I actually said to somebody a couple months ago when they asked me about an opportunity, I said, listen, can I take some time to think about this and get back to you by the end of the day? And it's it's amazing. They were just like, Yeah, no problem. So I took some time to think about this this podcast deletion off my plate and you know, stopping the podcast for now. And I woke up in the morning and I just had so much clarity. I was like, as much as I love this, I'm going to burn myself out. And I'm just gonna, you know, it doesn't matter. I don't need to make some big public declaration that I'm putting the podcast down or explain to people all of the details of why I'm putting the podcast down. You know, I've shared snippets of this story in in various talks and in my book, which I will get to. Um, but what if you just stopped putting out episodes? And so that's what I did. I just went to all the interviews and everything that I had booked up until that point. And I just said, you know what, there's been a change of circumstances. I need to cancel all recordings going forward. And I just stopped producing the podcast. And when I tell you the relief that I felt as I started to create more white space in my calendar after making that decision, I knew it was the right one.

Choosing White Space Over Pressure

SPEAKER_00 12:32

And I knew that if I ever returned to the podcast, that it would be different, that I would be different, and that I would have to do things a different way. And so the way that I am showing up to this podcast is going to be totally different because I've learned so much and I've given myself that space. But I mean, that's where I've been. That's where I've been. And it's been really actually interesting to see what has happened in the podcast realm since then. You know, I've left all of the podcasts, the previous podcast episodes up so that people can consume the content and people still do. Like you're still here, you're still listening, you're downloading episodes, you're letting me know how they've resonated with you. Every week, I get an email from my podcast hosting site that says you've had this many downloads and it fluctuates. You know, some weeks it's like four, and some weeks it's like a hundred. And, you know, like week over week, there's still new people being impacted by the words that I'm sharing. And so it's still ultimately is serving that deeply rooted why for me of like creating that impact, impact so far that I could never measure how far the ripples have gone. I just got total goosebumps when I said that. If I could have my life experience, what I've learned, my knowledge, my expertise go so far and wide that I can't even measure it, then fuck, I have fulfilled my life's purpose. And what a blessing it is to be able to do that. And so the podcast has been like doing its thing, you know, since I since I have been on hiatus for these last almost three years. But like, what have I been doing in that amount of

The Inner Script Behind Scaling

SPEAKER_00 14:23

time? Well, I'm still a coach and I'm a fucking great coach, if I do say so myself. And I have really gotten clear on the types of women that I am working with. And so if you are here, if this show has found you, um, it's likely that you are highly ambitious. It's likely that you are high achieving and that you are a female founder who has started something with your heart. And we, you know, we start these businesses, we're really, really excited about them. We want them to be successful. And oftentimes we do that at the risk of ourselves or at the expense rather of ourselves. And, you know, we we say yes to all the things, we abandon what we originally set out for because it's like, well, I have to make money and I want this to be successful. And there's a lot of inner narrative that's like wrapped up in what success means, right? And like what we should be doing when we're starting our own business and how we should be doing things and the things we should be saying yes to, and how many hours we should be working a day, and all of these things. Like, there's so many hats that we have to wear, but there's also so many thoughts that we have in general, but also when we have our own business and it's like our family on the line, our livelihood on the line, our reputation on the line, that makes the stakes so much higher. And the women that I work with, we work all around the inner script, which is why this podcast is called Flip the Inner Script. Andor, depending on the people that I'm talking to, shut that inner bitch up. Because those voices, the more we grow, the more is on the line, the louder they become. And the louder that they become, it creates this dysregulation in our body. We we start to feel a little bit unsafe because it's like, well, I can't rest because this is on the line. And if I rest, then this could happen and this could happen. And we get overwhelmed and we, we overthink and we we hypothesize and we catastrophize, and and it's just like there is a different way. Not only is there a different way, but you know, when we're thinking about growing our business and scaling, we think about marketing, we think about systems, we think about processes, we think about all of the things on the exterior, but not often do we think about what goes on inside and and ourselves. And, you know, there's this joke out there that personal growth or pardon me, entrepreneurship is like, haha, joke's on you. It's the biggest fucking personal growth journey you'll ever go on because there is so much that you have to do to show up day in and day out. And there's also so much that goes on inside that actually prevents you from showing up and doing the things that you want to do and and feeling confident and trusting yourself enough to do those things. And so those are the women that I work with now, these badass women who have heart and visions and dreams, but really they need to harness that inner self-leadership, that inner script, that inner narrative, the stories, the shoulds, all of this identity stuff that impacts our ability to actually grow and expand to enough to hold the success and the money that we want. Like we all want to be comfortable, beyond comfortable, like to be in such abundance that we can do incredible things. And it requires a lot from us to hold all of that. And so that's what I'm doing now. It's been such an incredible evolution since the last time you heard me on this microphone. And one of those things is the launch of my book. Back in March, I launched my second solo book, and this is called, this book is called Embody Bliss. And you can see it in the show notes. You can grab a copy if you like right directly through there. But it's all about breaking free from the shoulds and moving into more joy. And it is a memoir style, so it's heavy in storytelling. I love to tell stories. I feel like it connects us so deeply as humans. So it's a memoir style self-help guide really to finding inner peace. Okay. Every chapter is a principle that I feel like is so valuable when you are um growing and evolving and expanding and on this pursuit to health or to wellness and happiness and bliss and inner peace. And so, you know, it starts with, which is a lot of the stuff we're gonna talk about on this show going forward, is you know, it starts with the power of your mind and the thought work and the stories that we carry. And those stories dictate our thoughts,

Embody Bliss And Launching Before Ready

SPEAKER_00 20:21

right? They are the basis of the inner script. And so we talk in that book about the stories and which ones are yours and which ones are other people's and how often other people's stories are in our minds, but beyond that, also, you know, how many times we're worried about what other people are gonna think. And really, we are the ones that are holding ourselves back. In the book, we talk about the, you know, the relationship that you have with yourself and the relationship with others and all of these beautiful, incredible things. And uh, it's just such a fabulous book that I'm so proud of. And the feedback that I'm getting about this book has been wonderful. You know, I was listening to a voice note this morning from a friend, and she said, I just feel like you are sitting there reading this book to me. I hear it in my ear when you're speaking, and it's just that's exactly what I wanted when I wrote that book. So that's been really exciting. And also that in itself was a growth journey, which I think maybe that's its own podcast episode, just talking about all of the stories that were coming up for me as I was getting closer to the launch of this book. When we launch something new, um, we are expanding ourselves. And when we expand ourselves, that makes us more vulnerable. And it requires a lot of courage. And it asks us to expand our capacity before it's actually been expanded, sometimes before we even feel ready. And oftentimes we don't do the thing until we feel ready, but it's actually, you know, in reverse. We have to do the thing first, ready or not ready, unsure, scared, and with a whole lot of trust. And when we do that, that is when we leave room for magic to happen. So going forward on this podcast, you know, I'm still the balance bliss everywhere on Instagram, my website, all of that. I still very much am in the balance and bliss realm. But we are gonna talk all things, your inner script, because your inner script is the, hmm, the best way that I can describe it is it's everything. It is literally the lens of how you see everything through. And depending on what's going on for you on that day, your inner script can be loud, it can be quiet, you know, it can actually cause you to stop dead in your tracks. We're gonna talk about social conditioning and how that is so deeply ingrained in us that that dictates how we show up in our business. We're gonna talk about identity. I'm really in seeing this as a solo podcast where I get on the mic with you and we chat and we connect. And if you want to take the work further and deeper, you can always book a call with me. There's a link in the show notes every single episode. And I'm just here to, you know, create that impact for you. I will leave you with this. You know, I shared earlier

What This Weekly Show Becomes Now

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in this episode that when we're trying to have our business be really, really successful, it's like, okay, what can I invest in doing in the ads and and where what rooms can I get into? Maybe you've thought about that, maybe you haven't. But the reality is is that in your business and in your life, okay, you are your biggest asset. And if you take care of you first on a really, really deep level, get comfortable with every single part of you. The light ones, the ones that exist in the darkness, the ones that exist in the shame. You know, if you can really explore and get comfortable with every single part of you, then that is how you master the woman that you know that you're meant to be, the woman that you're dreaming to be, to have the success that you're dreaming to have, to scale in the way that you want to. That's how you do it. You do it by looking at the inner script and really mastering that and continuing to have the conversations about it. Because as you are going through the human experience, you will continue to be put in spaces and places and situations and experiences that will ask you to look at different parts of you. And so I hope you will tune in here every single week. We're back to a weekly show. I can't even believe that I'm back and that I have. Can we just take a minute for the fact that I just recorded my first podcast episode? What the fuck? Okay, I'm real excited. I'm so glad that you're here. And I will catch you next week on Flip the Inner Script. That's a wrap on today's episode. If something you heard hit home for you, share it with someone who you think could resonate with you. I'd love for you to subscribe to the show and leave a review. Your reviews help this podcast reach more women like you need. And as a thank you, if you screenshot your review and send it to me on Instagram at dub. I will send you a special gift as a thing. Grab my book and body for it and break three functions and we'll get it more. Joy for the link in the show notes for if you're curious about working together for your free 20 minute connection. Love you for sharing your time with me today. And we'll flip that inner five.