What Are You Pretending Not To Know About Your Gifts?

You can be successful on paper and still feel like you’re fumbling behind the scenes. That “rusty” feeling isn’t proof you’re failing. It’s often proof you’re doing something that demands a new level of identity, leadership, and self trust.

We walk through a framework Andrea loves and she also share why getting out of the silo matters so much.

Andrea unpacks her own instinctive answer to a question, the social conditioning that trains women to downplay their impact, and the real business cost of minimizing when you already have receipts like testimonials, results, and lived proof.

If this lands, subscribe, share it with a founder who needs the reminder, and leave a review so more women can find the show.

Transcript

Getting Unstuck By Showing Up

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Putting myself in rooms and places and spaces where people feel, right? This is again, this is like our own perception, but it's like where I feel like people are doing way bigger things than I'm doing, making way more money than I am. And just I feel like, you know, I would look at them and be like, wow, you know, this is where I'm going. Welcome to Flip the Inner Script, a podcast for female founders who are over their inner critic showing up when they are scaling to bigger things. This podcast is for the woman who has built something and still finds herself wondering why success doesn't feel the way she thought it would. We'll dive deep into inner stories, social conditioning, self-leadership, identity, and what it actually takes to master being the woman who meets her next level. This is your permission slip to finally flip the script so that you can unlock the success you dream about. Let's go. Hello, hello. Welcome back to another episode. I I'm not gonna lie, I still feel like I'm a little rusty. And of course, when I say that, then I think to myself, like, Andrea, how long are you gonna say that you feel rusty for? But like, I'm gonna say that I feel rusty for as long as I need to until I feel back into the groove and back to the swing of things, because I'm still in this spot where I'm not quite sure how to start the podcast episodes, but I also very much believe in this idea of jumping in and doing things, and that is how you become comfortable with doing things.

The Four C’s To Confidence

SPEAKER_00 1:42

You know, in my first book, I shared about this concept called The Four C's to Confidence, and this is not my framework. This is actually coined by a coach named Dan Sullivan. But I love to use this and I love to share it. And maybe this is the first time you've heard about it, and maybe it's not the first time you've heard about it, but it's the four C's to confidence, and it's this whole idea that like typically we wait to feel confident before we do the thing, but actually it happens in reverse. And so there's four things that we need to do in order to build that confidence. And that first C is courage, right? When you are doing something new, when you are doing something different, you're doing something that you haven't done before, you have to be courageous to show up and do the thing because there's there's a lot of fear of judgment and all of these other things that are going on inside our heads. So you gotta be, you gotta have the courage and you have to be committed. But when you are trying something new, when you are doing something you haven't done before, it may take you a few times to do it, or as it gets closer, like maybe you're courageous and you're like, Yes, I'm gonna sign up for that half marathon. And then you have to be committed to do it, right? You have to be committed to keep showing up. You're not just gonna like be courageous and sign up for it and then have to go and run the race. And I don't know what the outcome of that would be. It would probably be really, really challenging. But when you stay committed to the training, right, you train a little bit more, then you start to feel more capable. You're like, okay, I can run 5K without dying on the sidewalk. I can run 10K, you know, and you and you start to build up. So you've got the courage, you you have the commitment, and then you start to feel more capable. And then when those three things happen, then you go and you run the half marathon, and then you build, you can't see me. I'm waving my hand in the air in true excitement for the fourth C, which is the confidence. The confidence only comes at the end when you have gone and done the thing. And so I am still building my confidence muscle and when I when it relates to like having a podcast, because it has been a long time. It feels like it's been a long time, you know. Like I kind of thought it would be like just riding a bike, but you know, we're gonna we're gonna fumble our way through it. And you might be listening, going, like, Andrea, you sound totally fine. But I have committed to speaking out all of the things that are happening inside of my mind so that you can feel less alone with the things that are inside your minds. Because listen, let's face it, there is a very real possibility that a lot of the things that you are thinking about how you want to grow and where you want to go as it relates to your business, your dreams, your visions, your life, you may be feeling some kind of feelings about that. It isn't just like poof, you think about it and then it becomes a part of the reality, you know. Then you have to like actually work through the doing of the thing.

Why Being In The Room Matters

SPEAKER_00 4:51

And one of the things that has really helped me through this working through the doing of the things is like being in community spaces. I actually joined a mastermind for the first time back in September, and so I've been in this mastermind for about nine months now, and this is something that I've never done in my business before. And you know, I am always uh having people invest it with me, and it had been a while since I had invested in myself. I've done lots of education and courses, and I mean, I have my social work, social services, diploma, and all of that lived experience and work experience and expertise. Um, but I hadn't like invested in a space, just being in a coaching space in a really long time. And so I've been in there for about nine months, and you know, one of the things that it has really called forward in me is just like this deep understanding and knowing of the power of being in the room. And I've talked about this a lot before in person. You know, I host a lot of events, and I know anytime I'm trying to encourage somebody to come into the book club or to come into a mastermind space or to come into one of the events that I'm hosting, I talk so much about the importance of being in the room and how that can expand your thinking. Think about it. We're as entrepreneurs, I mean, unless you have a team and a lot of people that are around you, like you are doing what I'm doing right now, sitting at home by yourself and you're, you know, talking things out on paper, or you're working through any piece of the business, all of the hats that we wear, you're making decisions, you're dreaming and you're creating oftentimes in a silo by yourself. And when you put yourself in rooms and spaces, then you're open to like new perspectives and ways of ways of doing things or ways of thinking about things, or people see you in a way that you can't see yourself, and they offer you suggestions and options and alternatives or new ideas and ways of doing things. And I can't even stress like if you've been in a coaching space or a group space or a mastermind space before, like you know how expansive being in the room is, and so um, my coach who runs the mastermind space was hosting an in-person event, and I was like, Well, I have to go to this in-person event. Not only is have I really, really realized the power of being in these virtual spaces, but beyond that, it's like, whoa, when you can get yourself in the room with people who are not just at the same level as you, but like I'm talking about, I've been intentionally putting myself in rooms and places and spaces where people feel, right? This is again, this is like our own perception, but it's like where I feel like people are doing way bigger things than I'm doing, making way more money than I am. And just I feel like, you know, I would look at them and be like, wow, you know, this is where I'm going. They are evidence of that's where I'm going. And I actually do belong in those rooms. So I've been going to a lot more in-person events, making a lot more in-person connections. And I went to this event a couple weeks ago with my coach. It was a legacy event, and there were a couple different speakers that day, and then there were mastermind breakouts and lots of opportunity for connection in the rooms. Actually, this is the place where resurrecting this podcast, the idea was like solidified for me and presented in a way that I was like, oh my gosh, that feels good. That makes

A Speaker’s No Notes Self Trust

SPEAKER_00 8:44

so much sense. But one of the speakers, what I wanted to talk to you about on this episode today is that one of the speakers asked a question. And it's funny because she was such a great leader, and she just like the way she showed up on stage, she was like, I don't have slides, I don't need anything. I'm just here to show up and serve. And the speaker was Kathleen Cameron. Um, I'm sure you're familiar with Kathleen Cameron if you're listening to this podcast and working in this space. And she comes up on stage and she's just giving a talk from God that was just downloaded into her and out into the room, just speaking exactly what she just felt like people needed to hear in the room. And of course, right, when you're leading with your intuition in this way, the room gets exactly what it needs. And before I get into what she shared that I felt like was so powerful to discuss today, like what a beautiful example of self-trust. I talk so much about self-trust with my clients because self-trust is the like component that runs through everything that we do, right? Like if you truly and deeply trust yourself, then there is nothing that you feel like you can't do. Because if you accomplish the thing that you set out to do, great. I I did it. Let's what else can I do? And if you don't accomplish that thing, then you still know that you've got you, right? It's like, okay, if this doesn't work out, there's something that I can learn from it. I know I'm gonna be okay. I know that I can try something new and something different. It's not the end of the world, right? Like just that deep belief that you are holding yourself and gonna show up for yourself no matter what. And like standing up on stage with no notes, trusting that you're gonna know exactly what to say is such a beautiful demonstration of self-trust. So she's up there, she's doing her talks, she's sharing all of the nuggets and all of the goodness. Um, and then she shares with the room that she wants everybody to like practice vulnerability and and practicing like trusting yourself. And so she says, I want some people to volunteer to answer a question, but I'm not gonna answer the question or I'm not gonna tell you what the question is until you volunteer. And it was like, whoa, right? Because like oftentimes we wanna feel prepared. This goes back to what I was saying earlier. Like, we want to be prepared with the answer that we're gonna give, and we wanna feel like, okay, she's gonna ask me this question. I feel like the answer that I'm gonna have is good, and we want to have some time to think it through. But like when you're being asked the question on the spot, like you have no time to overthink. And so there was a couple courageous women, women that stood up and were like, Yeah, okay, I'll go. And I want to ask you this question on the show today because I have been thinking nonstop about this question since she asked it. And what the answer that came up for me, like right away, was pretty quick. Like it was very, very quick. And intuitively, I was like, this is what the answer is. And then immediately, right after that, I started thinking, like, oh my gosh, that's kind of silly to think. Like, why are you thinking that, Andrea? You know, and I'm I'm gonna break that down for you in real time.

What Are You Pretending Not To Know

SPEAKER_00 12:04

But the question that she asked was this what are you pretending not to know? She asked people to answer the question, What are you pretending not to know? And the answer that intuitively came forward, like boom, like this quick voice in my head was how much of an impact I can make and how big of a deal the work is that I do. Now, hearing the answer to that question, you might be like, Yeah, girl, you own it. Or there might be a part of you that's like, I could never answer that question like that. What am I pretending not to know? I'm pretending not to know how big of a deal the work is that I do, how impactful the work is that I do, and how good I am at doing that work. Now, why? Why am I pretending not to know that? And by pretending not to know that, what is happening in my business, in the world, and in all the women around me that could potentially be impacted by that. Well, by pretending not to be so good at what I do, why do I do that? Well, I'm doing that because we've been conditioned to feel like it's vain to be so bold and boastful about the impact and and the work that we can do, right? Like don't don't talk about yourself in that way. Don't boast about yourself so much. Don't like, oh, look at me, look what I can do, you know? And and a lot of that comes from, you know, people's own insecurities, but I'm coming at a place of like, listen, this is I I have seen the evidence, okay. Oftentimes when it comes to like reprogramming that reprogramming that inner script, we'll look at, okay, where's where are the receipts that validate or that can support that thought that you have? And could you argue that thought in a court of law that I'm not good? Right? Could I argue the fact that I'm not that good about what I do? Andor do I have evidence and receipts that support this belief that I have that I am really good at the work that I do and the work that I do is a big deal. I actually have lots of proof of that. I have testimonials and reviews and have had conversations, countless conversations with clients and people from my events that talk about how being in my rooms have changed their lives, have changed their lives, have changed their business, but they have done work with other people before, and all of a sudden they feel they come into my space and they feel seen in a way that they've never felt seen before. They are called forward. I'm chuckling as I say this because I have this one client who has turned into a good friend, and you know, she's like, you are always challenging the thoughts that I am saying that are coming out of my mouth. And it's because I just hold the people around me to such a high vision of them that I want them to see that for themselves. And, you know, I have that impact. The work that I do has that impact. So why am I pretending? How am I pretending? Well,

Social Conditioning And Shrinking Yourself

SPEAKER_00 15:25

I'm pretending by delaying the launch of this podcast for many, many years, being, you know, worried and overthinking about what I was gonna say. I do that by not showing up on my social platforms as much as I should and sharing about the work. You know, oftentimes when we get ourselves in these rooms and go to these events, there we're in conversation where we are being asked, like, what do you do? And, you know, how do you change the world? I love to ask that question. But it's like, how do you show up? What do you do? And we unintentionally will minimize or, you know, not speak too highly about the work that we're doing. Meanwhile, we have all of these clients and customers and people who are lining up behind us to sing our praises, but we're not making a big enough deal about that because why? We don't want to look like we're we're boasting about how successful we are. Why can't we? I, you know, unfortunately, the rooms that I lead, the rooms that I go into, those rooms are the rooms that are encouraging people to speak about what they are good about. Like shout it from the rooftops, celebrate it, tell me more, tell me all the things, you know, are there to just soak up in all of the celebration for you. But there the rooms haven't always been like that, right? It's likely that you have grown your business and even really grew up because if we're thinking about our inner thoughts and what's going on inside of our minds, all of that is just programmed by how we grew up or the relationships that we've been in and how those have impacted us. Um, but you know, what are you what are you diminishing about your ability to be able to, or sorry, I lost my train of thought and I'm gonna go back to that train of thought because I found it now. But it's like historically we haven't always been in those types of rooms. Also, I want to just take a pause there and just model that that in itself is self-trust right there. You know, historically, I would have edited that part out of a podcast episode so that you can see like this polished and perfect podcast episode. But sometimes this is one of the things that I've been working on is it's like getting comfortable with like, okay, where was I going allowing myself to bring myself back? But part of why we have these thoughts or this like, don't be too showy, don't talk too much about yourself, don't boast, is because we there there haven't always been safe spaces to do that, right? To talk about what we're good at, to share and celebrate our successes. And so because that has historically been the rooms that we've been a part of, then that has naturally become how we then show up going forward, right? It's like, you know, stay, stay a little bit smaller, don't, don't make too big of a deal, um, don't be too much, you know. But I'm actually here for speaking so loudly about what you are good at, celebrating how much you have grown, both in your business, but also on a personal level, right? Like celebrating the fact that you can catch yourself in a negative cycle a little bit faster than you used to be able to. That is all the stuff that I am about. And if I'm going to be about that in all of the rooms that I'm in, then I also need to be about that with myself. And so, what am I pretending not to know about myself? I am pretending that, and no more actually, I am no more pretending that the way that I can support clients and women to grow their businesses and to flip that inner script, I'm not gonna stop, I'm not gonna minimize the impact of that work anymore. Um, and so I want to leave you with like, what is it that you are pretending not to know about how you show up? What are you pretending not to know about your niche, about your business, about whatever it is, what are you pretending not to know? And what can you start being a lot more loud about?

Your Next Level And Closing Ask

SPEAKER_00 19:53

Thanks for joining me for this conversation today. I'll catch you next time. That's a wrap on today's episode. If something you heard hit home for you, share it with someone who you think could resonate with it too. I'd love for you to subscribe to the show and leave a review. Your reviews help this podcast reach more women like you who need it. And as a thank you, if you screenshot your review and send it to me on Instagram at dub.balance.blit, I will send you a special gift as a thank you. Ready to go deeper? Grab my book and body flip, break free from the shows, and move into more joy with the link in the show notes. Or if you're curious about working together, your free 20-minute connection call is waiting. Love you for sharing your time with me today. Now go flip that inner script and be next time.