How To Hack Your Heartbreak
A step by step guide to putting broken hearts back together after a devastating break up.
Breakups are incredibly painful and life altering and on the stress scale there is only the death of a loved one that rates higher- however for what ever reason the rupture of a romantic relationship seems to feel like its very much a solo journey,.
I’m here to change that by not only giving you tools- emotional, nutritional and practical to help you navigate your way through this but I’m also super passionate about creating a community of like minded people who are committed to moving through and growing from the pain of a breakup (even if it was unceremoniously dumped in your lap).
How To Hack Your Heartbreak tackles all of the hard topics including toxic relationships, trauma bonds, emotional disregulation & the practicalities involved in actually getting your feet on the floor each & every day after such a huge upheaval.
My Flagship course How To Hack Your Heartbreak drops on April 14th 2025 as well as my Heartbreak Hackers membership programme.
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How To Hack Your Heartbreak
Mimosas, Tears, and Smashed Wedding Cake: The Ultimate Breakup Revenge
What would you do if your fiancé disappeared on your wedding morning? For Kayleigh Stead, the answer wasn't to cancel—it was to celebrate anyway.
Kayleigh joins Louise to share her breathtaking story of resilience that captivated the world. After two years planning her dream wedding, Kayleigh was sipping mimosas with her bridesmaids when she received the devastating news: her groom had vanished without explanation. Rather than surrendering to heartbreak, she made an extraordinary choice that would later earn admiration from millions, including Kelly Clarkson.
"I'm going to be crying either on my own or surrounded by people I love," Kayleigh explains of her pivotal decision to continue with the wedding reception. What unfolded was a powerful demonstration of choosing joy amid devastation—walking into her reception to Lizzo's "Good As Hell," smashing her wedding cake in a therapeutic release, and being surrounded by unexpected support, even from her ex's groomsmen.
Perhaps most powerful is Kayleigh's journey to acceptance without conventional closure. Never receiving an explanation from her ex-partner, she's embraced the understanding that "no closure is closure"—finding peace in moving forward on her own terms. Her story isn't just about surviving abandonment; it's about transforming rejection into an opportunity for authentic connection and self-discovery.
This first installment of "Bitches Owning Breakups" sets the stage for a powerful conversation about resilience, community support, and finding strength when you least expect it. Don't miss part two next week where Kayleigh unpacks the aftermath of her viral heartbreak and the lessons she's carried forward.
Got a breakup story, feedback or a topic you'd like us to cover? send us a text!
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Going through a breakup, Struggling with being all up in your feels, Finding it hard to get through the day. Heartbreak sucks and we've all been there. If you're in need of some life hacks on how to regulate your emotions, practically manage your life and how to rediscover yourself post-breakup, you've come to the right place. This is your roadmap to navigating out of this time in your life with intelligence, humour, sass and a little bit of tough love when you need it. Welcome to how To Hack your Heartbreak with your host, Louise Wilkinson.
Speaker 2:As well as going through all of the challenges that breakups present to us, it is also my intent to inspire you with women who have overcome heartbreak in sometimes the most unbelievable ways. This very first installment of Bitches Owning Breakups, which will become a semi-regular podcast installment on my little channel, is possibly one of the most astounding stories that I have ever heard. Kayleigh Stead, from Wales, became a viral sensation when she had to deal with heartbreak in a way that would give most of us absolute nightmares. I can't wait for you to hear this story of resilience, grit and absolute boss bitch energy.
Speaker 2:It is my absolute pleasure to welcome Kayleigh Stead to how to Hack your Heartbreak. It is night time where you are, in Wales, uk, and thank you so much for joining us today, kayleigh. What a story, and this has gone pretty much global. I was, you know, just in my own little world and saw your story and reached out to you straight away, and because you're just everything that we're trying to get across in how to Hack your Heartbreak and I'm not I didn't give too much away in the intro, but let's dive in.
Speaker 3:So yeah, back of heart for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Back of. However, me Absolute pleasure. Now your story went global because it was such a horrid story in some ways, but then such a beautiful story in others. And I guess where we start let's just rip the bandaid off was that you had prepared for your wedding. You're about to commence your life with your life partner, and then everything changed at about seven o'clock on the morning of the wedding, didn't it?
Speaker 3:Yeah, basically yeah. So I'd spent two years saving, working overtime, scrimping, doing as much as I could to create a wedding that not only me and my partner could enjoy, but a celebration of these two families coming together. And at seven o'clock in the morning, my friend got a call from her husband, who was one of the groomsmen, saying that they couldn't find Callum, so my ex-partner that he was gone, his car was gone and nobody could get in touch with him. And at this point I was just, yeah, I was drinking my mimosa. Yeah, at seven o'clock in the morning, I was having champagne and orange juice and I was enjoying myself. And the girls were kind of like, oh, how do we tell Kayleigh? Like, and they saw that my phone was going off from Callum's mum and they wanted to be the ones to tell me because they didn't want to. They were trying to rip the band-aid off in the nicest possible way, um, because at this moment you couldn't just rip it off. It was like we need to take our time. And then I started looking for my phone and my friend was helping me, hannah, and then I saw I had a missed call when I found it from his mum. And the same time the girls were like running around going crazy and I was like what's going on? There's so much energy.
Speaker 3:For seven o'clock in the morning and I rung back his mum and at the same time my friend Jodie, and his mum on speakerphone explained that Callum had gone. He just said Callum's gone and I was just like what do you mean he's gone? And they said they can't find him, nobody can talk to him. Um, what happened in the night before? He was at the wedding venue with his family and his groomsman. They'd gone. The groomsmen and him had gone into the sea, had some drinks, had some food, went back to the caravan and, because the caravan was completely packed, he stayed there with his family in their caravan and that was the last they saw of him.
Speaker 3:And his family had said that, um, he needed a bit of breathing time, a bit of time away, just to kind of de-stress, because he was very nervous and I was like, okay, after hearing that, I was like he's fine then, because he's just stressed, he needs some time on his own, because that wasn't something new to our relationship. If he had got stressed about work or money or just had anxiety, he would go for a walk. He would go for a drive to kind of decompress. So I was like that's what he's doing and I think my major concern at that point was the fact of if he's okay. I wanted to know in his head if he was okay emotionally, like I wanted to know that he was physically and emotionally okay and nobody could tell me that at that point. So I rung his dad and I said look, if you get here, come here from town, explain what's going on. He was like yeah, absolutely fine, kale. And he was like he's going to be there, we'll carry on getting ready and I'll let you know as soon as I speak to him. And I was like perfect.
Speaker 3:So then everybody kind of calmed down, we kind of kicked back into motion, um, but during that time my parents and um videographer, photographer, other people started coming in and I asked the girls let's not tell them what's gone on, because I don't want my parents to think ill of Callum because of they're going to be like why did he walk? Like I didn't want them to stress out, um, and I didn't want the pressure of other people knowing sure. And so then his dad called me at like half past 11 in the morning and I just done all my makeup. I was about to get my hair done and as soon as I answered the phone and he said hello, I knew if that makes any sense. Yes, it was like the cone and I was like oh god. And then he just said Cale, I'm so sorry that he's, he's not coming. I've tried to kind of talk to him and try to get any sense from him and he's like I can't, he's not talking any sense, he's not making, he's not coherent in what he's saying, but he's safe. He's down in his nan's house, which is like four hours away from the venue.
Speaker 3:In England when we like do to get married at half past, at one o'clock, so like an hour and a half time, wow.
Speaker 3:So in my I know, in my head I was like god, even if he changes his mind and comes back, I can't, I can't get married because he's too far away. And his dad was just completely devastated and I could hear his sister in the background who was like really young, I was going to be a flower girl. I could hear her cry in the background and just couldn't understand what was going on and the fact that they told his sister that it wasn't happening, kind of hit the nail on the head for me because of they wouldn't have told her if they didn't believe it, if that makes any sense. And then I sobbed and my best friends were all in the utility room with me as we were all hiding together just sobbing and there was this black spider and that huge spider in the corner of the room and I just kept on fixating on that and going like I'm not afraid of spiders, but I wouldn't want one that huge. I was just like, oh god, I'm like panicking and over there was over a century Lord.
Speaker 2:Because I was like what do I do now?
Speaker 3:and I told the girls just to give me five minutes and then I'll be out, and they were like okay, so then they went out. They told my parents, told the girls just to give me five minutes and then I'll be out, and they were like, okay, so then they went out, they told my parents, told the videographers, photographers, told everyone what, what happened, and everyone was kind of just sort of stand still there and then I walked up the room and everyone just looked at me and I was just my eyebrows were on my chest at this point because I've been crying so much, absolutely, and sweating and, yeah, everything was everywhere and everybody just gave me this kind of like really sympathetic, kind of like really horrid smile that everybody gives when they don't know how to what to do. And I was just like, oh god, I said, right, we just need to get out to the Airbnb anyway, because we were in an Airbnb. And I said we got a checkout time. So I said we need to get dressed and get down there anyway, because of I had things to sort out.
Speaker 3:And when my sister was redoing my makeup, I was like speaking with her and she was like what you want to do? And I was like embarrassed at that time. It was like I just feel an overwhelming embarrassment that's come over me, like I'm embarrassed, as this has happened to me, that like people are going to find out that somebody's like left me on my wedding day and not even talk to me, and I was like I don't know what to do, like I can't. I was telling, explaining to her that I want to carry on with the day. But is that even more embarrassing? Like what do I do? And she was like Cale, just follow your own gut. You could go, don't think about anyone else. What do you want to do?
Speaker 3:And then she told me the about a joke that the videographer made about how I'd spent like over 12 grand on this wedding. Why don't you just carry on with the day? And I was like I want to. And she was like well, just do it. Then I was like, okay. I was like okay, I was like I'm going to do it. And then she was like, as I had that moment, she was like girl, she's doing it, she's going ahead of the day. And all the girls came running into the kitchen going what's going on? And I was like I want to carry on with my wedding day and they were like you sure? I was like you're going to be okay and I was like, yes, I said I'm going to be crying, either on my own. I'm going to be crying surrounded by the people I love, and that's where I chose. I chose to be kind of, show all my emotions and share my experience with my friends and my family, and that's what we did. We still had the party. Sorry, long choice, daughter, I do apologise.
Speaker 2:Oh look, no, I mean it's, I'm invested, I'm in. I mean it's just in one way, as you said, that overwhelming embarrassment, like, oh my God, everyone's going to know that this has happened. Like, oh my God, everyone's going to know that this has happened. And I guess when we do have partners and things sort of happen in the, in the relationship, we do to an extent cushion your family and your friends and that sort of thing and you just sort of you just sort of cope, but when, when it's all out there, it's like okay, this is, this is what it is.
Speaker 2:So in one way, yes, one part of your brain goes oh my God, all of my family and friends are going to know about this. This is just you know. But in the other way, you had everyone that was dear to you right there and to go okay, this is possibly the biggest curve ball that anyone has to cope with ever. I'm going to make lemonade out of lemons, I'm going to have this party, I'm going to spend this time with the people that I love, and yeah, I've seen the footage and obviously there were tears, but there was so much joy and love in that day that obviously it's going to stick with you for the rest of your life, for so many positive reasons, as well as the obvious negative, uh that those people were just surrounding you with so much love on that day.
Speaker 3:Like it was just overwhelming how much people loved and stayed there for me, because when I got down to the venue I couldn't go into the semi room. That's the one room I never saw, because in my back of my mind it was a bit like I want to save that moment and I just couldn't see the semi room. And then my sister, my best friend, went in. They told the guests and they said to them if you want to stay, stay and enjoy the day as much as you can with Kayleigh, but if you want to go, she'll completely understand, because it's a bit of an awkward time. And at this point, when I arrived, all his family had left, so they had gone, but all of his groomsmen stayed.
Speaker 2:I saw that in the video. How amazing.
Speaker 3:It was just incredible. I think it gave me that bit of reassurance that I need, because if I was such a horrible person or a horrid girlfriend because that's where I was kind of going through my mind, going God, have I done anything wrong? What have I done to cause this? Like frame did not even speak to me, because the thing that I struggled with at the time not so much now was was the fact of he didn't even speak to me. I've always, I can always agree with the fact of he never had to go through the wedding day.
Speaker 3:If somebody doesn't want to do something, I'm never going to put anybody in a position that to do something, to fulfill something they don't feel comfortable doing or they they don't want to do, and I never had a problem with that.
Speaker 3:Yes, that hurt me and I was upset about it, but the thing that kind of I couldn't get my head around at the time, or or even kind of process, was the fact he didn't even speak to me himself, that I was 10 minutes away from where he was.
Speaker 3:He easily could have drove down, messaged me, rung me and said look, can we speak? And he could have told me face to face and hand on heart, he could have done that and I would not have put him in a position to make him stay, because I'm never going to want somebody to stay with me because they feel like they have to. I want somebody to stay with me because they want to like. That's what every person wants. They don't want somebody out of need or a have or a necessity. They want somebody to stay with them, be with them because that's what they want. Um, and that's what I struggled with and that's what everyone was coming around with. And then when we got to the venue and I saw his groomsman all stay, it gave me that reassurance that I'm not a bad person yes.
Speaker 3:The fact that his best friend of 10 years had stayed with me, had cried with me, had drunk with me and enjoyed the rest of the day and gave me a hug and said I'm so incredibly sorry. Yeah, gave me that reassurance. And those men, um will never know how much they did for me on that day. Yeah, and I would just thank them enough, because they easily could have walked away and I would have understood, completely understood, but they chose to stay by my side need a daily dose of inspiration, contemplation or maybe just a good laugh.
Speaker 1:The how to hack your heartbreak card deck is just what you need, packed full of quotes to help you get through your breakup with wisdom, sass and empowerment. A card a day keeps the breakup blues at bay. Head over to howtohackyourheartbreakcom forward. Slash shop to grab your day.
Speaker 2:I can imagine that that does give you so much comfort because we do get close to our partners, family and friends, and they become our family and friends and so the loss isn't just the partner, it's also, you know, that whole extended.
Speaker 2:So to know that I mean, obviously they're not going to bag their mate out, they're not going to bag their friend out, but you knew that there was that support for you and that they chose to stay and chose to support you through that day, and I don't know why. But when you do get that support from you know the other side, I guess it does mean a lot. It really does give you that sense of this isn't about me, and I think that that's incredibly important. I've got to ask did you have absolutely any inkling, like we talk about the blind side being the worst type of breakup, because you have to actually process the trauma of that before you can actually even get to grieving the relationship. But you know, obviously you're drinking a mimosa, kicking back and laughing with your girlfriends. That sort of tells me that there was no problems or fights or anything like that before that moment.
Speaker 3:So the only kind of argument that we kind of had was after his stag do so, his friend, because he moved from England to here. Loads of my girlfriends and their partners became friends with Callum and on the stag doodle there were two Toms, one being a bigger Tom and one being a smaller Tom, and the bigger Tom was my best friend's partner, boyfriend and now her baby daddy. And so during the day when they were drunk, they referred to the bigger tom as fat tom and I found out about that and then I kind of spoke with him. I said, look, I picked him up from the train station. I said, look, I've heard this information. Is this true? First of all, he was like, yeah, everybody was calling him this. And I was like, okay, I said, but you've got to understand that that's somebody's feelings, like you didn't have to. Just because there was two toms doesn't mean you have to call somebody that. I said, would you say that to his face? And he said no. I said, well, there we go. Then don't say it about behind his back, because that's not who I am.
Speaker 3:And I said to him this is, this is the partner of my best friend, that I've been friends with for 10 years and if they found out that you were basically bullying my best friend's partner, my best friend is gonna is gonna hit you, and rightly so, and I'm gonna be in a position where I can't defend you. And I don't like being in that position when I can't defend somebody's actions or justify somebody's words. And I explained that to him and I probably raised my voice, but I was angry because he was saying to me everybody was doing it. And I was like you're a 24 year old man, just because everybody's doing it doesn't mean you have to do it. You're the one who's in control of that situation, because it's your stag, do? You should have took responsibility to say look guys, stop Enough. Even if you weren't the first person to say it.
Speaker 3:And we had a bit of an argument about that and he didn't like that. I said that to him. But after that it all got resolved. He understood where I was coming from Because at the end of the day, like my friends are very, very close to like are they my family? Like they're my sisters, my friend is, and I just don't like being put in a position if I can't defend somebody's actions 100%, because yeah.
Speaker 3:I, I couldn't, and to me it just felt like being in school again, like calling somebody like that, like it's just mean. There was no justification behind it other than it being a laugh for you guys, but not for him, and I didn't like that. And, to be fair, my best friend doesn't actually know this story. So if you listen to this podcast, sorry, han, but that was the explanation, yeah.
Speaker 2:But she had your back. She had your back, han, yes, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yes, a hundred percent. I don't care whether you're the queen king, whatever, or you're the closest person to me. If your actions are wrong, I will tell you you, because I expect somebody to do the same for me, because, yes, you probably don't like hearing it at first in that moment, but you're not always going to be right and your actions are not always going to be okay, because that's the process of growing up and learning and that's what happened. And then after that we kind of calmed down. It was fine.
Speaker 3:That was about the July time, so we were getting married in September, so there'd been a month between us and he was talking about then going on the honeymoon. We talked about like our kids' names, we talked about after the wedding day. So to me, that's why I was completely excited, because if we hadn't had those conversations, we hadn't talked about kind of moving out and building a life together and like what holidays we were going on after the wedding day, then I probably would have had a bit of concerns, a bit like, okay, what's going on? But he was still having those conversations with me and I still don't know to this day why he left. So he's never given me a reason, rhyme or reason as to why he left the way he did or why he didn't want to go through with it or why he didn't want to be with me anymore, and I've kind of had to learn that no closure is closure and I've had to come to terms with that 110%.
Speaker 2:And you know, one of my favorite things to say is closure is bullshit. Their behavior is your closure, and it's so true because that closure there is no magic sentence that someone is going to say that's going to wrap this up in a nice little bow for you. Usually, in terms of the closure conversation, they actually end up hurting you more than you know than if you didn't have it.
Speaker 3:And um, yeah, that was, I didn't need that moment that I wasn't pretty enough or I wasn't doing this right enough, I wasn't doing this or that enough. I that none of that was going to bring me peace and I had to kind of learn that from myself and through time.
Speaker 2:I think, that's all. Yeah, so look, I know that the day has got you know a lot of press worldwide and we talked before we started doing this podcast about the fact that you got to speak to one of both our idols, kelly Clarkson. I don't know how you did it, I would have been like mute watching her on the screen.
Speaker 3:It was just so surreal, like when she said my name I was just like, oh gosh, she's probably not going to remember my name, like two minutes after the interview and that's absolutely fine. But in those three minutes or five minutes I got to stick to her. She was just speaking directly to me and it was just incredible and, as I explained to you earlier, like I felt so cheesy when I was kind of doing the pre-interviews for the Kenny Clarkson show, that to say that she was my, like my idol and just somebody that I'm in awe of. But she was and she is still to this day and she's got a new song coming out that I can't wait to hear and like when I've listened to her already, sneak peek like lyrics, I just resonate with them straight away. She's just great at kind of sharing moments that she's been through.
Speaker 3:That kind of like kind of I don that she's been through that kind of like kind of I don't know I don't know the word like you just resonate with.
Speaker 2:You absolutely resonate with A million ways. Yeah, and this album is actually about her breakup. So, yeah, kelly Clarkson is serving it to us because you know she's such an amazing lyricist.
Speaker 3:But me and you will be on repeat for that A hundred percent.
Speaker 2:We should do a Zoom date where we scream the lyrics with mimosas. I like that.
Speaker 3:And some nachos.
Speaker 2:Oh, yes, definitely Love it Speaking my love language. Now people talk about the day, but obviously the day happened and you were wrapped in so much love and I loved that you smashed the cake. That was fantastic, but that was like a power move. It was amazing. The whole day was. I recommend it to everybody smashing cake.
Speaker 3:They do this thing where some of where you are as well, when you're a one-year-old, when it's your one-year-old birthday, they do a smashing where, um, do you know some of um where you are as well? Whether when you're one year old, when it's your one year birthday, they do a smashing cake photo shoot. I honestly think this should become a normal thing, that adults do that where they just have a photo shoot, where they just either smash cake or smash things because it's so therapeutic. And when you see the photos afterwards you just go oh my god, like you just relive that kind of like like endorphin kind of moment again and over and over again. And entering to Lizzo's, good as Hell was just I didn't realize how iconic that was going to be yes, like because they asked me what song do you want to enter into?
Speaker 3:and I was just like the first thing that came to my mind was Lizzo's Good as Hell, and it sounds silly. But I'd never actually really listened to the lyrics before. I would just like sing them and not actually take in what I was actually saying. And then on the day when it blasted out in the marquee, I was like wow, this is the song and it was just the anthem for the rest of the day, just like flick my head back, walk away. Do you mean hell? It's just, it was just amazing and that kind of gave me a kind of like those moments smashing the kicks and walking in and down to my family and and moments like that kind of gave me the adrenaline to carry on. If that makes sense, sense, they were just like, okay, let's restart back up, let's wipe away the tears. I need to be in this moment.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 100%. Well, I'm sure that you found the story so far absolutely riveting, but there is more to unpack. Next week, on the podcast, I'll be asking Kayleigh how she dealt with the heartbreak after the big day itself and the lessons that she's taken out of it. Please join us next week for Bitches Owning Breakups Kayleigh Stead, part two on how to hack your heartbreak.
Speaker 1:Thanks for listening to how to Hack your Heartbreak. Head over to howtohackyourheartbreakcom for loads more heartbreak hacks.
