Motherhood & The Brain
Are you tired of feeling like you’re always at your wit's end, especially when it comes to yelling at your kids?
You’re not alone.
Motherhood can be overwhelming, especially when your preteen seems to push every button and you just can’t seem to get through to them without losing your temper.
This podcast is for moms who are juggling work, family, and everything in between, and are ready to stop yelling and start connecting with their kids in a more peaceful way.
We’ll take you on a journey through the ups and downs of raising a preteen, offering brain-based strategies and practical tips on how to handle everything from discipline to managing your own emotions.
We’ll dive into topics like how to better understand your child’s behavior, how to stop yelling and start listening, and how to build a stronger, more trusting relationship with your preteen.
You’ll learn about positive parenting, emotional control, and simple, science-backed methods for managing mom anger and helping your preteen thrive.
If you’re looking for real, actionable advice on how to deal with the challenges of raising a preteen, this is the place for you.
Let’s make this motherhood journey a little smoother, together.
Motherhood & The Brain
How To Solve Problems
On today’s episode of the Motherhood and The Brain podcast, Esther Mbabazi introduces a tool called the CTFAR model.
This model comprises five letters: C for Circumstance, T for Thought, F for Feeling, A for Action, and R for Result. The tool serves as a framework to understand how one's thinking influences outcomes and the mind's role in shaping experiences.
Episode Highlights:
03:12: Esther introduces an example scenario involving a 12-year-old refusing to go to school. The mother's thought is that she is failing her daughter, leading to feelings of guilt.
04:10: Esther details the mother's actions in response to her guilt. These actions include taking away electronics, pressuring the child, emotional struggles, and coping mechanisms like overthinking and consuming wine.
05:46: The analysis delves into how internal mental activities, such as internal complaints, play a role in shaping the broader impact on the individual's life and strengthen their beliefs of falling short as a parent.
07:11: Esther clarifies the purpose of the CTFAR model, emphasizing that it is a tool to understand thinking patterns and not to directly change feelings. She discourages attempts to alter feelings using the tool.
08:40: The emphasis is placed on the significance of differentiating between thoughts and facts, with an encouragement for individuals to scrutinize what they believe. The continuous nature of thoughts is underscored, emphasizing the importance of cultivating self-awareness.
10:01: Esther discusses the persistence of certain thoughts in the mind and outlines the approach to handle such fixations. She advises getting a piece of paper and writing down the circumstance, thoughts, and feelings associated with the fixation.
11:15: Esther advises asking the brain, "What if everything is OK as it is?" and notes that the brain will come up with answers. She instructs writing down the positive responses.
13:08: Esther advises asking why a specific sentence, such as "I am failing my daughter," is fixated upon and encourages exploration of beliefs about failing as a mother.
15:53: The point is made that parenting is influenced by social and cultural norms, yet there are no definitive textbooks or classes to define successful paren
👉 The 60-second Yell Less Reset quiz is your first step toward change.
“I never wanted to be the mom who yells…”
But here you are, raising your voice, snapping over small things, saying things you wish you could take back.
You love your kids more than anything.
And you know they don’t deserve a mom who yells.
You just don’t know how to stop; especially when they won’t listen, talk back, or push every single boundary.
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