Motherhood & The Brain
Are you tired of feeling like you’re always at your wit's end, especially when it comes to yelling at your kids?
You’re not alone.
Motherhood can be overwhelming, especially when your preteen seems to push every button and you just can’t seem to get through to them without losing your temper.
This podcast is for moms who are juggling work, family, and everything in between, and are ready to stop yelling and start connecting with their kids in a more peaceful way.
We’ll take you on a journey through the ups and downs of raising a preteen, offering brain-based strategies and practical tips on how to handle everything from discipline to managing your own emotions.
We’ll dive into topics like how to better understand your child’s behavior, how to stop yelling and start listening, and how to build a stronger, more trusting relationship with your preteen.
You’ll learn about positive parenting, emotional control, and simple, science-backed methods for managing mom anger and helping your preteen thrive.
If you’re looking for real, actionable advice on how to deal with the challenges of raising a preteen, this is the place for you.
Let’s make this motherhood journey a little smoother, together.
Motherhood & The Brain
Do You Feel Guilty When You Are Angry At Your Preteen?
Have you ever had one of those moments—you know, the ones where anger flares up, and before you know it, guilt comes crashing in right behind it? Yeah, me too. It’s such a hard spot to be in, and if you’ve felt it, I want you to know you’re not alone.
That’s exactly what we’re diving into in this episode. I’m peeling back the layers of those raw emotions we all feel but don’t often talk about. Let’s get real: none of us signed up to be “perfectly patient, never-lose-it moms,” yet the world seems to expect it anyway.
I’m sharing some personal stories (because, trust me, I’ve been there) and insights from experts that have helped me understand what’s really going on beneath the surface when we get angry. It’s not just about the moment—it’s about those sneaky thoughts and pressures we carry without even realizing it.
Think of your emotions like a pot simmering on the stove. Sometimes, the heat just creeps up on us, fueled by the belief that we’re supposed to “have it all together” all the time. But here’s a thought: what if anger wasn’t a sign that we’re failing, but instead, a little signal that something needs our attention?
We’re talking about how to notice the simmer before it boils over, how to respond in a way that feels true to you, and how to use those moments of frustration as a way to connect with your preteen instead of pulling further apart.
You’re not a bad mom because you get angry. You’re a human mom. And in this episode, we’ll explore how to navigate those tough moments with self-awareness and grace—because you deserve to feel good about the mom you are, even on the hard days. Let’s walk this path together.
👉 The 60-second Yell Less Reset quiz is your first step toward change.
“I never wanted to be the mom who yells…”
But here you are, raising your voice, snapping over small things, saying things you wish you could take back.
You love your kids more than anything.
And you know they don’t deserve a mom who yells.
You just don’t know how to stop; especially when they won’t listen, talk back, or push every single boundary.
👉 The 60-second Yell Less Reset quiz is your first step toward change.
Already taken by many moms who wanted to break the yelling cycle.
Based on the science of how your brain responds to stress, this quiz goes beyond surface-level tips.
It helps you pause, uncover what’s really fueling those outbursts, and start shifting the pattern before it spirals again.
You’ll discover:
✅ Your personal Reset; so you can get your kids to listen without needing to yell, threaten, or give in
✅ It’s not just their behavior; it’s the moment you feel like nothing you say matters
✅A clear next step to help you stay calm and in charge; even when your kids are testing every boundary
Welcome to Motherhood from the Brain, a podcast guiding moms of preteen girls on how to navigate emotional challenges that are not addressed in school. We share real stories, expert advice and brain-based methods for handling tough moments. Discover insights to create a deeper connection with your preteen and improve your motherhood journey. Let's tackle the uncharted territory of parenting together, hosted by professional, certified coach, esther Babazi.
Speaker 2:Before we begin, I want to share a brief disclaimer. I am not a psychiatrist, psychologist or any other licensed mental health professional. On this podcast, motherhood and the Brain, I share what has personally helped me improve my mental and emotional well-being. My hope is that by sharing my experiences I might help even one mother out there who is struggling. Hello there, friend. Welcome back to Motherhood and the Brain podcast, episode number 43. My name is Esther Babazi.
Speaker 2:If you ever found yourself feeling angry with your child, only to be hit with that wave of guilt afterward, you're definitely not alone. It's something many of us struggle with. We want to be calm, patient, understanding, but in the heat of the moment it can feel like everything is unraveling. It can leave you wondering why do I react this way? Why can't I just handle this better? I understand she's just a child, but what if I told you that the way you're feeling is just a signal that your anger is actually telling you something important and you can learn to navigate those tough moments with more grace and self-awareness? Today we are going to dig deeper into what's really going on behind those moments of frustration and how you can start shifting the way you respond to your emotions so that you are no longer controlled by them. So if you're ready to understand what's driving your reactions and finally get to a place where you feel calm and confident in your journey, let's dive in.
Speaker 2:Anger is never the first thing that happens. It's just the result of what has been building underneath. And often what's fueling that anger is something deeper the thoughts you're having, often without even realizing it. But there's more to it than that. As mothers or women, we are often expected to be naturals, the patient ones who always know how to handle things with grace. Society teaches us that being a good mom quote, good mom unquote means being calm, patient, understanding and always keeping it together. We are supposed to be the ones who create a safe, peaceful home for our kids. When we feel anger rising inside of us, especially when we know we want to do better, it can be easy to feel like you have failed. The guilt sets in. You beat yourself up for not living up to the ideal of motherhood you've been told to strive for. But here's the truth. The truth Feeling anger does not make you a bad mother. It makes you human. Anger is a natural emotion and it's often a signal that something inside needs attention. It's what we do with the anger that makes the difference.
Speaker 2:Our brains are designed to respond in certain ways, especially in moments of stress. We are all many of us are running on a mix of unconscious programming least expect it, triggering automatic reactions like anger, without even realizing what's going on. Imagine your anger like a pot of water boiling on the stove. The heat under the pot. Is your brain running on autopilot? Under the pot, is your brain running on autopilot?
Speaker 2:Those unconscious thoughts and beliefs and reactions you might not even be aware of are bubbling away. Turning up the heat on the pot on the stove, for example, when your child doesn't listen for what seems like the 10th time, your brain might automatically jump to she's ignoring me on purpose. I'm not being hard. When your child leaves their stuff everywhere, your brain might say I'm doing all the work here. No one is helping. I'm the only one who cares around here. When she messes up again and again, your brain might whisper something like when she messes up again and again, your brain might whisper something like I'm a failing mother. Why can't I get this right? I go to so-and-so's house and everything is put together. Something must be wrong with me. These automatic thoughts are like turning up the heat under the pot. If we are not aware of them, we don't even notice the water starting to get hotter. Before you know it, you are at full boil and that's when the anger spills out.
Speaker 2:The tricky part is, these unconscious thoughts are running in the background of your brain. They are often shaped by things you experienced as a child or what you have learned over the years. They are ingrained patterns and, while they are protective at some times, they can also create unnecessary stress and frustration. But here is the breakthrough moment. If you don't stop to notice what's happening in your brain, you miss the chance to turn down the heat. It's not the messy house, the arguing child or the endless demands that are directly causing the anger. It's the automatic thoughts and beliefs you have about those things. This is where change starts.
Speaker 2:When you pause to notice your thoughts using a thought download, you are stepping out of autopilot. You get to ask yourself simple, curious questions like what am I thinking right now? That is making me feel overwhelmed. Am I expecting something from my kids that they aren't capable of yet? What am I making the situation mean about me as a mother? When you start noticing these thoughts, you're breaking free from the unconscious programming and creating space to respond differently. You are creating space to respond from the place of the mother that you want to be. It's like lifting the lid of the pot and letting the steam out. Instead of reacting, you're taking a step back, seeing where the anger is coming from and making a conscious choice to handle it differently. The best part is, you get to decide what to do with those thoughts. You might realize maybe she's not ignoring me on purpose, maybe she's tired from being six hours at school, maybe she needs some time by herself to reset. Or maybe you could notice something like maybe I'm feeling like I'm failing, but this is just what, if this is just a normal part of motherhood? Curiosity creates that space to respond instead of reacting, and in that space of responding you start to rewrite those automatic, unconscious patterns that have been running the show. It's not about perfection. It's about becoming more aware of your thoughts, giving yourself grace, moving forward with understanding and connection to become the mother that you truly want to become.
Speaker 2:The podcast episodes that have to do with what a thought download is Briefly, a thought download is a tool that we use to become aware of our thoughts. Thank you so much for listening today. Have a beautiful week everyone. Be kind to yourself. Talk to you again next week. Bye for now. What if you could feel in control of your reactions, even when your preteen is pushing all your buttons? I know it's tough, but I would love to help. That's why I created the year-less formula. If you want to stop, or at least reduce, yearling and really build that connection that you want with your child, I would be honored to work with you. Just head over to wwwmasteryourownwellbeingcom. Forward slash coaching to grab a spot for a complimentary call to get a feel of what coaching is and how coaching works. Coaching will help you manage your reactions. Wwwmasteryourownwellbeingcom. Forward slash coaching. See you there.
Speaker 1:Thank you. Thank you for tuning in to today's episode. Your time means the world to us. If you found this episode valuable, we would be immensely grateful if you could spare a moment to visit Apple Podcasts and share your thoughts through a review. Your feedback plays a vital role in helping fellow moms discover our podcast and enrich their own motherhood experiences. Take care and bye for now.
