Motherhood & The Brain
Are you tired of feeling like you’re always at your wit's end, especially when it comes to yelling at your kids?
You’re not alone.
Motherhood can be overwhelming, especially when your preteen seems to push every button and you just can’t seem to get through to them without losing your temper.
This podcast is for moms who are juggling work, family, and everything in between, and are ready to stop yelling and start connecting with their kids in a more peaceful way.
We’ll take you on a journey through the ups and downs of raising a preteen, offering brain-based strategies and practical tips on how to handle everything from discipline to managing your own emotions.
We’ll dive into topics like how to better understand your child’s behavior, how to stop yelling and start listening, and how to build a stronger, more trusting relationship with your preteen.
You’ll learn about positive parenting, emotional control, and simple, science-backed methods for managing mom anger and helping your preteen thrive.
If you’re looking for real, actionable advice on how to deal with the challenges of raising a preteen, this is the place for you.
Let’s make this motherhood journey a little smoother, together.
Motherhood & The Brain
When Your Child Wants To Live With The Other Parent.
What if the gap between you and your preteen isn't a failure? What if it's a step toward a stronger bond?
Join me. This episode looks at the pain and doubt moms feel as their daughters pull away. By reframing this transition, we can see it as normal growth.
It's not a reflection of our worth as mothers. This heartfelt talk offers brain-based strategies. They will help navigate this tender phase of motherhood with grace and compassion.
By knowing our emotions, we can turn doubt and fear into curiosity and connection. Learn to maintain a meaningful relationship with your child. Use small, careful actions that respect her independence and your role in her life.
If you're feeling sidelined or unsure, let's explore these uncharted areas together. It will strengthen our mother-daughter bond.
👉 The 60-second Yell Less Reset quiz is your first step toward change.
“I never wanted to be the mom who yells…”
But here you are, raising your voice, snapping over small things, saying things you wish you could take back.
You love your kids more than anything.
And you know they don’t deserve a mom who yells.
You just don’t know how to stop; especially when they won’t listen, talk back, or push every single boundary.
👉 The 60-second Yell Less Reset quiz is your first step toward change.
Already taken by many moms who wanted to break the yelling cycle.
Based on the science of how your brain responds to stress, this quiz goes beyond surface-level tips.
It helps you pause, uncover what’s really fueling those outbursts, and start shifting the pattern before it spirals again.
You’ll discover:
✅ Your personal Reset; so you can get your kids to listen without needing to yell, threaten, or give in
✅ It’s not just their behavior; it’s the moment you feel like nothing you say matters
✅A clear next step to help you stay calm and in charge; even when your kids are testing every boundary
Welcome to Motherhood from the Brain, a podcast guiding moms of preteen girls on how to navigate emotional challenges that are not addressed in school. We share real stories, expert advice and brain-based methods for handling tough moments. Discover insights to create a deeper connection with your preteen and improve your motherhood journey. Let's tackle the uncharted territory of parenting together, hosted by professional, certified coach, esther Babazi.
Speaker 2:Before we begin, I want to share a brief disclaimer. I am not a psychiatrist, psychologist or any other licensed mental health professional. On this podcast, motherhood and the Brain, I share what has personally helped me improve my mental and emotional well-being. My hope is that by sharing my experiences I might help even one mother out there who is struggling. Hello there, hello moms, hello friend, welcome back to the Motherhood and the Brain podcast. This is episode number 44 with your host, esther Mbabazi.
Speaker 2:Have you ever found yourself standing in the shadow of your child's choices, wondering if you are being pushed out of her world or his world? Maybe she's spending more time at her father's house, she's investing in relationships and activities that don't include you? It feels like rejection. You are left questioning your place in her life, replaying every moment and asking where did I go wrong? What if this wasn't about rejection at all? What if her pulling away is just part of the messy, natural process of growing up? In today's episode, we are diving into those hard, painful moments when you feel unseen, replaced and sidelined as a mom. Together, we will reframe this narrative, explore what is really happening in your child's world and uncover small but meaningful ways to rebuild that connection. This isn't just about understanding her. It's about showing up for yourself too, with grace and compassion in a season that feels so tender. So let's get started.
Speaker 2:The situation feels raw. This situation stirs up doubt, fear and, to be honest, you start to question your worth. Watching your child invest in relationships and activities away from you can feel very personal. It's like they are choosing everyone else over you. It's hard not to wonder am I enough? Have I failed in some way? But what if this isn't about rejection? What if it's not about it is not a reflection of you or the bond that you have nurtured all these years? This is simply a natural part of growing up. Your child is seeking independence and comfort in spaces that feel less emotionally charged in the moment. This shift is painful, but it's also an opportunity to see things from another angle.
Speaker 2:Preteens and teens are wired to push boundaries, to explore who they are outside of us. Their brains are developing at a rapid stage, especially in the areas that handle feelings, emotions and decision-making. This means they are often drawn to relationships or spaces that feel easier or more rewarding in the moment. Your child's pulling away isn't a proof that she does not love you or need you. It's just her navigating a messy, natural part of being an adolescent. Her choices might sting, but they are not about your value as a mom or as a person. They are about her figuring out where in the world she fits.
Speaker 2:But as human beings, it's very easy to assign meaning to our children's action. She prefers her dad, or she prefers her mom, or she prefers her stepmom, or she prefers her mom, or she prefers her stepmom, or she prefers her friend's mom. She doesn't care about me, I'm not important anymore. But what if her choices aren't about rejecting you? What if they are just about her own personal journey, own personal journey? This is where I invite you to become curious. And instead of taking her actions personally, what if you asked yourself what am I making her choices mean about me? How are these interpretations shaping the way I am showing up in her presence?
Speaker 2:Is it possible that her choices are about her and not me? Because when we tie our self-worth to our kids' actions, we set ourselves up for heartbreak, but when we approach situations with curiosity instead of judgment, we create space for understanding and connection. So how do you build that connection? You start small a meme, or you could ask her about something important to her. With no agenda to fix or solve anything. You could let her know that your door is open, not just for a visit, a physical visit, but to share what's going on in her world, what she's thinking, her fears and whatever it is that she's feeling.
Speaker 2:But here is the necessary and the hard part you have to validate her need to spend time with her father, her dad, her stepmother, wherever she's spending more time. Now, I know this is hard, but you have to do this In order for you to come across as authentic. You have to validate your child's need of spending time wherever she's spending her time. I know it can be tough, especially when it feels like you're competing, especially if it feels like you're bending over backwards and you're getting nothing in return. But what if you told her that, for example, I love seeing how close you are to your dad, I love seeing how close you are to your mom, I love seeing how close you are to your grandparents or your stepmom? I want you to know that I love having you here too. This is just an open invitation. Find those small moments of connection a shared show, a series, a coffee break, coffee run, beverage run tea, or even just sitting together without any talking. These little bridges matter more than you think.
Speaker 2:It's okay to grieve the relationship that you thought you would have with your child at this age. It hurts, it's real and it is valid. But you don't let the pain define your worth. Surround yourself with people who can hold space for you during this time and remind yourself that your daughter's actions are not the full story of your relationship. This is a phase and it will not last forever. Maybe it will, but maybe it won't. This is a chapter, one that can lead to a deeper, meaningful, mature relationship over time.
Speaker 2:You just keep showing up, not from a place of pain or defensiveness, but from a place of love and curiosity and understanding, because she still needs you, even if it doesn't look like it used to or it doesn't look like you hoped it would. You're doing hard loving things for your child when she's going through this messy season of growing up, and while it might feel like you're losing her, you're not. This is a phase that is part of her growth, that is part of her finding her footing in the world, and it is a phase of growth for you too. Keep showing up with grace and curiosity and compassion for yourself and for her. And remind yourself that this is just a phase. This is not the whole picture. Take care of yourself. Thanks for listening today. Talk to you again next week. Bye for now.
Speaker 2:What if you could feel in control of your reactions, even when your preteen is pushing all your buttons? I know it's tough, but I would love to help. That's why I created the year-less formula. If you want to stop, or at least reduce, yearling and really build that connection that you want with your child, I would be honored to work with you. Just head over to wwwmasteryourownwellbeingcom. Forward slash coaching to grab a spot for a complimentary call to get a feel of what coaching is and how coaching works. Coaching will help you manage your reactions. Wwwmasteryourownwellbeingcom. Forward slash coaching. See you there, thank you.
Speaker 1:Thank you for tuning in to today's episode. Your time means the world to us. If you found this episode valuable, we would be immensely grateful if you could spare a moment to visit Apple Podcasts and share your thoughts through a review. Your feedback plays a vital role in helping fellow moms discover our podcast and enrich their own motherhood experiences. Take care and bye for now.
