End Power Struggles With Your Child

For so long, I thought my job as a mom was to steer the ship—to make sure my kids stayed on the right path. But what if motherhood isn’t about controlling the course, but learning to ride the current?

In this episode, we’re talking about the tug-of-war between guiding our kids and letting go. What if their choices aren’t a reflection of our parenting, but simply part of their own journey? And what if staying calm is sometimes the most powerful thing we can do?

Join me as we explore what it really means to show up for our kids—without the pressure to control every outcome. Listen in for a conversation that just might change the way you see your role as a mom.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Hello there, welcome to another episode of the Motherhood and the Brain podcast. This is episode number 45. My name is Esther Mbabazi. Motherhood has easier and harder parts. No one warns you how much it can push your buttons, especially when life feels like a pressure cooker. You have a strong love for your kids, but at times the stress of it all feels overwhelming. You yell when you don't mean to and afterward you see it with that heavy feeling. Why did I do that? Again, I am a mother of two and I have worked, or I work, with other moms who are overworked and stressed and they want to yell less at their kids. I will not sit here and pretend to know whatever everyone is going through, because I have had my own share of challenges with my own children. Instead, I want to share my personal and work experiences with you today.

Speaker 1: 1:30

Motherhood is like steering a boat on a river. You can guide the boat, adjust the sails and avoid rocks, but you can't control the current or stop the river. With children, we guide and support them. We try as hard as we can to provide what they need, but we can't control every twist and turn in their emotions, thought processes and their actions. Like the river. They flow on their own terms. Think of it like tossing a pebble in a pond the ripples spread out, touching everything around them. You can't control where the ripples go once they set in motion. Motherhood is the same your actions create ripples. They influence your child's reactions, but you can't dictate how your child responds. You're navigating the river with grace With your child. Focus on steering through the currents one bend at a time. Decide which rocks to dodge and which ripples to let flow around you. At times, a calm stretch stillness is as powerful as paddlings through the rapids.

Speaker 1: 3:25

As we navigate, it's important to become aware of how we interpret our children's behavior. As human beings, we often interpret our kids' actions as reflections of our own mothering. We are failing if they don't respect us, or that we are not doing enough if they don't do what we think they should be doing, and this can lead us to show up in ways that do not align with our values. But what if? Just what if their behavior isn't about us at all? What if it's just a moment in their journey? What if it is just a moment in their journey on this beautiful thing called life, thing called life? When you put things in perspective like that. It helps you respond with calmness instead of frustration. Trust that the river will shape her or him as it has shaped you. Do what you can to guide the journey, but remember you are not in charge of the river's current. Do what you can to guide the journey, but remember you are not in charge of the river's current. Your role is to navigate, not to control the entire flow.

Speaker 1: 4:55

Thank you so much for listening today. I just wanted to share this small bit. This is what I am. This is some of the experience and the wisdom I have gained from my own work, doing my own work and working with the few moms that I work with. Talk to you again next week. Take care of yourself, be kind to yourself. You have this. Bye for now.