Motherhood & The Brain
Are you tired of feeling like you’re always at your wit's end, especially when it comes to yelling at your kids?
You’re not alone.
Motherhood can be overwhelming, especially when your preteen seems to push every button and you just can’t seem to get through to them without losing your temper.
This podcast is for moms who are juggling work, family, and everything in between, and are ready to stop yelling and start connecting with their kids in a more peaceful way.
We’ll take you on a journey through the ups and downs of raising a preteen, offering brain-based strategies and practical tips on how to handle everything from discipline to managing your own emotions.
We’ll dive into topics like how to better understand your child’s behavior, how to stop yelling and start listening, and how to build a stronger, more trusting relationship with your preteen.
You’ll learn about positive parenting, emotional control, and simple, science-backed methods for managing mom anger and helping your preteen thrive.
If you’re looking for real, actionable advice on how to deal with the challenges of raising a preteen, this is the place for you.
Let’s make this motherhood journey a little smoother, together.
Motherhood & The Brain
Feel Like You’re Always Snapping? Here’s How to Take Back Control
Have you ever felt so mad or frustrated as a mom that you didn’t know what to do? In this episode of Motherhood from the Brain, I share real stories and simple tips to help you handle those big emotions without losing your cool.
We’ll talk about how your brain reacts to tough moments, and how understanding this can help you feel less frustrated and more in control.
You’ll learn about the “thinking brain” and how it can help you pause before reacting, so you can respond in a way that matches the kind of mom you want to be.
By taking a moment to sit with your feelings instead of reacting right away, you can improve your connection with your preteen and feel more confident as a parent.
Whether you're dealing with eye rolls or endless piles of laundry, this episode is full of helpful advice to make parenting a little easier.
👉 The 60-second Yell Less Reset quiz is your first step toward change.
“I never wanted to be the mom who yells…”
But here you are, raising your voice, snapping over small things, saying things you wish you could take back.
You love your kids more than anything.
And you know they don’t deserve a mom who yells.
You just don’t know how to stop; especially when they won’t listen, talk back, or push every single boundary.
👉 The 60-second Yell Less Reset quiz is your first step toward change.
Already taken by many moms who wanted to break the yelling cycle.
Based on the science of how your brain responds to stress, this quiz goes beyond surface-level tips.
It helps you pause, uncover what’s really fueling those outbursts, and start shifting the pattern before it spirals again.
You’ll discover:
✅ Your personal Reset; so you can get your kids to listen without needing to yell, threaten, or give in
✅ It’s not just their behavior; it’s the moment you feel like nothing you say matters
✅A clear next step to help you stay calm and in charge; even when your kids are testing every boundary
Welcome to Motherhood from the Brain, a podcast guiding moms of preteen girls on how to navigate emotional challenges that are not addressed in school. We share real stories, expert advice and brain-based methods for handling tough moments. Discover insights to create a deeper connection with your preteen and improve your motherhood journey. Let's tackle the uncharted territory of parenting together, hosted by professional, certified coach, esther Babazi.
Speaker 2:Before we begin, I want to share a brief disclaimer. I am not a psychiatrist, psychologist or any other licensed mental health professional. On this podcast, motherhood and the Brain, I share what has personally helped me improve my mental and emotional well-being. My hope is that by sharing my experiences I might help even one mother out there who is struggling. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, good night from wherever you are listening in from. Welcome back to the Motherhood and the Brain podcast, episode number 47.
Speaker 2:My name is Esther Mbabazi. I want to be a bigger person than my kids. I am tired of being controlled by my anger. But is it really possible to change even just a little? If you have asked yourself the same question, this episode is for you. Let's begin.
Speaker 2:I understand. I totally understand this, because I used to let my anger control me too. I used to yell at my kids, feel terrible afterward and wonder why I couldn't stop. I would get frustrated when they didn't listen, when they rolled their eyes or leave their dirty laundry on the floor. The stress of running a household, keeping track of schoolwork and just trying to hold everything together felt too much. But it all starts with understanding how our human brain works, the way we perceive circumstances in our life dictates how we feel, and the way we feel in turn shapes the actions that we take or do not take.
Speaker 2:When you're upset or angry, it's easy to think that the situation itself is the problem. You may think that your child is ignoring you when you're asking them to help out with something. Maybe they argue with you about homework, or you just can't get them to clean their room. All these moments can feel like a direct attack on your patience and your peace of mind, but the truth is it's not those things. It's the story you're telling yourself about those things. Let me repeat the truth is it's not what your child is doing or not doing. It is how you are interpreting the situations that is leading you to feel angry or frustrated. What this means is there is a chance to change how you respond, even when a tough situation arises. This is where the thinking brain comes into play. Your thinking brain is the part of your brain that helps you make decisions based on your goals and values. This is the part of the brain that allows you to pause and reflect, even in the midst of danger, sorry anger. It's the part of you that can take a deep breath and consider your true thoughts at this moment. Those moments of rising anger are when your little brain, your protective brain, like I call it on this podcast, takes over. When you feel your anger rising, it is because your protective brain is taking over or has taken over. This part of the brain reacts with rapid intensity. This part of the brain seeks instant rewards and often ignores consequences. But here is where something powerful happens. Here is where something powerful happens.
Speaker 2:Instead of fighting your frustration or anger, create space for it. We call it in my program. We call it sitting with it. You acknowledge the frustration or the anger without immediately reacting to it. You sit with it. You let yourself be uncomfortable, you give yourself the time and the freedom to understand it. Anger, frustration are natural emotions. They are not something to push away or feel ashamed of. When you create space for them, you allow them to be there without letting them control you. You feel the frustration, you feel the anger without letting them dictate your response.
Speaker 2:Your thinking brain that is aligned with your values and goals and how we want to show up as a mother, helps you in this particular situation. Your thinking brain does the hard work of becoming aware of what you're thinking and feeling in a given moment. When you use your thinking brain, you gain insight into what is truly happening within you. You notice the stories. Sometimes I call them sentences, but they are all thoughts. You notice the stories, the sentences that your brain is telling you and from there you make a conscious choice. You don't have to believe everything that your brain is telling you. When your child does not pick up after themselves and your brain is throwing at you all these stories of how they are disrespectful, how you are failing, how you can't get this right, these are all just stories. You can choose to believe them or not. You can see them for what they are Thoughts that are fueling your frustration, thoughts that are fueling your anger, not the truth that must control you. And this is where change happens. Change happens.
Speaker 2:Imagine the difference between the mother who constantly feels overwhelmed by small things like the endless cycle of homework drama, the arguments about screen time or the feeling of being invisible in your own home, and the mom who steps back. And the mom who steps back takes a breath and decides how to respond with clarity and intention. This is not about never feeling angry or frustrated again. No, this is about not letting them anger, frustration, overwhelm, rage, whatever not letting those emotions control you. Instead, you are able to tap into your thinking brain, remain calm, you align yourself with the values that you set for yourself. You align yourself with the mother that you want to be, even when things aren't going your way. When you do that, you can be the mother that you want to be. For example, maybe you want to be a mother that listens. Maybe you want to be a mother who is grounded, a mother who does not let frustration dictate the relationship she has with her kids.
Speaker 2:Here's what happens when you start to engage that part of your brain, the thinking brain, like we call it on this podcast. It takes time and here's one caveat when your protective brain is on board, is activated, is online, like we call it. When your thinking brain, when your protective brain is online, your thinking brain is not. Both of these brains cannot be online at the same time. When the protective brain that is very swift and does not think through consequences takes over or comes online, the thinking brain goes offline. That is why, when someone is in the middle of a tantrum, you can't speak to them. They will not listen. It is because their thinking brain is offline.
Speaker 2:So the thinking brain needs small, consistent practice to bring it on board often, to be able to access it often. You need to take small, consistent practice to do that. When you learn how to access your thinking brain when you are in situations, you realize that you have power over your thoughts, your emotions and your actions. When your child forgets their chores for the 10th time this week, or when they snap at you with attitude, you get to choose how you respond Because the thinking brain is using your values. That you set is using the how we want to be like the mother. We all know the kind of mother I want to be. But yelling and anger and stuff they just get in the way of that. But when we learn to use our thinking brain, the one that knows the mother that we want to be, we will become that mother.
Speaker 2:So when you learn to bring your thinking brain on board more often, you are no longer at mercy of your child's behavior anymore. It's not about them, it's about how you show up. Instead of acting on that impulse, you pause when something comes up. When you come home and the house is in disarray, instead of going off automatically, your thinking brain helps you pause and choose how you want to respond. You may yell, but at least you're doing it consciously. This is the point. The thinking brain helps you take a step back and evaluate what you want to do. If you want to yell, you can do that, but at least you are doing it consciously. It's no longer an automatic reaction.
Speaker 2:When you bring your thinking brain on board, you create space for anger, for frustration. You acknowledge them and you ask yourself what do I want to feel right now If you came home and your kids had trashed the house, maybe they had broken things? You don't want to be all excited and happy and thank them. You can choose to be frustrated. I know this sounds like it doesn't sound right, but it is. Instead of flying off in a rage, when you come home and things are in disarray, you take a step back and access your thinking brain. What do I want to feel right now? It might be frustrating when your child urges about curfew, but you can ask yourself and pause Do I want to feel anger right now or do I want to feel peace? Because, prior to learning using your thinking brain, when your child stretched their curfew hours, maybe you just went off when they came in the door. But when you learn to bring your thinking brain on board, you see the values, the kind of mother that you want to be. The thinking brain helps you choose what you want to feel in that moment and from there you begin to create a new story, a story that aligns with the calm, peaceful life you may be striving for.
Speaker 2:When you bring your thinking brain on board, you stop letting the actions of others control how you feel. Instead of rushing to anger, rushing to frustration, rage when other people ignore you or when they do whatever they do, you pause and make a cautious choice. Then you respond with intention and clarity. If this is the peace that you have been longing for, it becomes more and more possible. To be honest, you will sleep up because, like I said, the protective brain is very fast. You will sleep and you will be consumed with anger or frustration or rage.
Speaker 2:Change takes time. This is not something you do in a day. This is not something you learn to do in three days, in a week. Change takes time and that's okay. The key here is to be kind to yourself when you do sleep up, when you find yourself in a fit of rage or in frustration, or with anger, or you yelled. Whatever you treat yourself with kindness, you offer yourself the same understanding you give a friend who is on this journey.
Speaker 2:This is the journey that I have seen other moms go through and it's possible for you too. It's about small, consistent practice. About small, consistent practice. Each time you slow down, sit with your anger and frustration, think before reacting, you get closer to the calm response that you want. You can do this. I know it because I have seen it happen and I have walked the same path myself. The change that you're looking for is within reach. You just have to keep trying, taking small, consistent steps. You can do this, my friend. Thank you for listening today. Talk to you again next week. Bye for now.
Speaker 2:What if you could feel in control of your reactions, even when your preteen is pushing all your buttons? I know it's tough, but I would love to help. That's why I created the Yearless Formula. If you want to stop, or at least reduce, yearling and really build that connection that you want with your child, I would be honored to work with you. Just head over to wwwmasteryourownwellbeingcom. Forward slash coaching to grab a spot for a complimentary call to get a feel of what coaching is and how coaching works. Coaching will help you manage your reactions. Coaching will help you manage your reactions wwwmasteryourownwellbeingcom. Forward slash coaching. See you there, thank you.
Speaker 1:Thank you for tuning in to today's episode. Your time means the world to us. If you found this episode valuable, we would be immensely grateful if you could spare a moment to visit Apple Podcasts and share your thoughts through a review. Your feedback plays a vital role in helping fellow moms discover our podcast and enrich their own motherhood experiences. Take care and bye for now.
