Motherhood & The Brain
Are you tired of feeling like you’re always at your wit's end, especially when it comes to yelling at your kids?
You’re not alone.
Motherhood can be overwhelming, especially when your preteen seems to push every button and you just can’t seem to get through to them without losing your temper.
This podcast is for moms who are juggling work, family, and everything in between, and are ready to stop yelling and start connecting with their kids in a more peaceful way.
We’ll take you on a journey through the ups and downs of raising a preteen, offering brain-based strategies and practical tips on how to handle everything from discipline to managing your own emotions.
We’ll dive into topics like how to better understand your child’s behavior, how to stop yelling and start listening, and how to build a stronger, more trusting relationship with your preteen.
You’ll learn about positive parenting, emotional control, and simple, science-backed methods for managing mom anger and helping your preteen thrive.
If you’re looking for real, actionable advice on how to deal with the challenges of raising a preteen, this is the place for you.
Let’s make this motherhood journey a little smoother, together.
Motherhood & The Brain
Avoid Becoming the Mom You Swore You’d Never Be!
Have you ever told yourself, “I’m not going to yell at my kids today,” and then lost your cool before breakfast? You’re not the only one—and nothing is wrong with you.
In this episode, we talk about why it’s so hard to stay calm sometimes. It has to do with how your brain is built. Your brain is always trying to protect you. It wants to avoid pain, stay comfy, and save energy. That’s great for staying safe, but not so helpful when your kids are arguing or not listening. When things get too stressful, your brain thinks there’s danger—even if it’s just loud voices or a big mess. Yelling or snapping is your brain’s fast way to feel in control again.
But here’s the secret—it’s not about learning a new trick to stay calm. The real change happens when you know why you want to respond differently. Maybe it’s because you want a strong bond with your kids as they grow up. Or maybe you want to break old habits in your family, protect your marriage from constant fights, or just feel proud of how you handle tough moments.
That reason—your why—will help you keep going, even on hard days. Like I say in the episode, “Your reason why is the thing that will keep you going when quitting feels easier.”
We also talk about the kind of mom you want to be in the future. She still has hard days, but she handles them with calm instead of yelling. Every time you pause, take a deep breath, or make a different choice, you’re becoming that future version of yourself.
You don’t have to get coaching to make this change, but it can really help. Coaching gives you support, real tools, and someone to walk with you as you grow. That’s something books and podcasts alone can’t always give you.
If you’re ready to stop the snapping and become the calm, steady mom you want to be, come to our free workshop!
Sign up at www.masteryourwellbeing.com/register and learn how to stay calm—even when everything feels crazy.
👉 The 60-second Yell Less Reset quiz is your first step toward change.
“I never wanted to be the mom who yells…”
But here you are, raising your voice, snapping over small things, saying things you wish you could take back.
You love your kids more than anything.
And you know they don’t deserve a mom who yells.
You just don’t know how to stop; especially when they won’t listen, talk back, or push every single boundary.
👉 The 60-second Yell Less Reset quiz is your first step toward change.
Already taken by many moms who wanted to break the yelling cycle.
Based on the science of how your brain responds to stress, this quiz goes beyond surface-level tips.
It helps you pause, uncover what’s really fueling those outbursts, and start shifting the pattern before it spirals again.
You’ll discover:
✅ Your personal Reset; so you can get your kids to listen without needing to yell, threaten, or give in
✅ It’s not just their behavior; it’s the moment you feel like nothing you say matters
✅A clear next step to help you stay calm and in charge; even when your kids are testing every boundary
Welcome to Motherhood from the Brain, a podcast guiding moms of preteen girls on how to navigate emotional challenges that are not addressed in school. We share real stories, expert advice and brain-based methods for handling tough moments. Discover insights to create a deeper connection with your preteen and improve your motherhood journey. Let's tackle the uncharted territory of parenting together, hosted by professional, certified coach, esther Babazi.
Speaker 2:If you've read the books, taken the deep breath, counted to 10, Taken the deep breath, counted to 10, gone for walks and still you find yourself yelling and snapping. This is for you Coming up. I'm hosting a free workshop that will change the way you think about staying calm. We are done managing symptoms like snapping and yelling with surface level fixes. In this workshop, we are solving the root cause why you cannot stop snapping and how to stop snapping without relying on willpower, perfection and your children. Finally, listening, you will learn why relying on willpower is not the best way to go, Because willpower runs out, and what to do instead. Why snapping and yelling aren't your fault, and how to stop without shame and a proven brain-based approach that helps you stay calm even when things are anything but calm. So if you're tired of gritting your teeth through motherhood challenges, you don't want to miss this workshop. This isn't about trying harder, becoming more patient. This is about trying something that actually works. Go to wwwmasteryourwellbeingcom.
Speaker 2:Forward slash register to save your spot. See you there. Register to save your spot. See you there. Before we begin, I want to share a brief disclaimer. I am not a psychiatrist, psychologist or any other licensed mental health professional. On this podcast, motherhood and the Brain, I share what has personally helped me improve my mental and emotional well-being. My hope is that by sharing my experiences, I might help even one mother out there who is struggling. Hello there, friend. Welcome back to episode number 54 of the Motherhood and the Brain podcast. My name is Esther Mbabazi.
Speaker 2:Have you ever promised yourself that you would not snap today, only to find yourself snapping before breakfast? Well, my friend, I have been there. So I'm just here to tell you that you are not alone and you are definitely not broken, and there is nothing wrong with you. There is a reason it feels so hard to stay rounded or calm in the moment, and there is something even more important than willpower that will keep you going when things get messy. Today we are talking about the one thing that will quietly carry you through the hardest moments of motherhood and help you become the mama that you truly want to be. So let's get going.
Speaker 2:Your protective brain is wired to avoid pain, seek comfort and conserve energy. That wiring helped your ancestors survive. Maybe we would not be here if it is the same wiring that keeps you stuck. Because when things get hard, when your kids push all your buttons, when you feel overwhelmed or on the edge, your protective brain sees that discomfort as a form of danger. Your protective brain wants relief there. And then and yelling, snapping, shutting down are some of the quick exits your brain uses to regain control. It is not because you're failing, not because you lack self-control, but because your brain is trying to rescue you from something it perceives as dangerous.
Speaker 2:That is why building this skill takes some practice, because staying calm in a heated moment isn't your brain's natural instinct. It is a skill. It is something that you practice, that you have to teach your brain through practice, and that is why you need a why W-H-Y-Y. You don't need just a surface level tip or trick or strategy or hope, but a deep, anchored reason for why you want to learn the skill of remaining calm in heated moments. Because when you're exhausted and stretched thin, your brain will try to talk you out of it. It will say things like this is too hard, nothing is changing, why bother? You already yelled today. You already snapped this morning. There is no need of trying more. You already yelled this week. You were just like that. You came from a family of people who yelled, so it is in your DNA. Your brain will throw out all these sentences, and that is why you need to have a grounding reason, a reason why you want to learn this skill, this scale.
Speaker 2:Your reason why is the thing that will keep you going when quitting feels easier. And your reason why is personal. It may be because you want to have a close relationship with your children when they are older, or maybe because you want to feel good about how you show up and not crushed at the end of every day. Maybe you grew up in a home where yelling was the norm and you remember the pain it caused you and you don't want to subject your children to the same pain. Perhaps yelling and snapping is starting to affect your marriage in a negative way. Maybe your husband or wife or spouse is not a yeller, like we call them, and every time you yell at your kids, you have this other side argument with your spouse, and this argument is leading to a dynamic that you don't want between you and your spouse. Or maybe you see the pain in your children's eyes. Every time, your voice is sharp and you know deep down in your heart that this is not who you want to be. That is why your reason why is powerful. Your reason why keeps you grounded when things get hard.
Speaker 2:So imagine yourself three months from now, six months from now, a year from now, that future version of you. She still faces hard moments. That future version of you still hears no from her kids. That future version of you still manages big emotions, both yours and your children's. That future version of you still has kids who bicker at the dinner table. Her kids still slam doors in her face. But that future version of you meets those moments differently. That future version of you is steady. She does not spiral when things do not go her way. She feels proud of her responses, even when they are not perfect. And that future version of you got there because of the work that you decided to do today. Every pause, every deep breath, every time you notice what your brain wants to do and you choose something else. You are building that future version of you moment by moment, step by step, and this is where coaching helps you.
Speaker 2:You can do this without coaching? Yes, 100%, but it takes longer. And let's be honest if reading books and listening to podcasts were enough, you'd probably already be there. Podcasts were enough, you'd probably already be there. But what coaching gives you is a real-time support. It gives you tools that work in the heat of the moment. It helps you stop defaulting to old patterns and start responding from the version of the mom that you want to be. And, more than anything, coaching gives you accountability to keep going, especially when your brain says forget it, this is too much, forget it. Why even bother? She doesn't appreciate your bending over backwards trying to do the da-da-da-da. The child doesn't respect you. All those things. Coaching gives you accountability and room to keep going.
Speaker 2:When you invest in coaching, you are not investing in a program. You're investing in you, in your peace. You're investing in your growth, in your legacy. You are saying to yourself that I matter. I matter too. My kids are worth it. My future is worth it.
Speaker 2:So I want to ask you again what is your reason why for learning the skill of remaining calm in the moment? Write it down. There is no police here. This is for your eyes only. There is no police here. This is for your eyes. Only you know your reason. Write it down, spend some time on it. Let it ground you, let it remind you that the uncomfortable work you're doing today is shaping the mom, or the future version of yourself, of the mother you want to be Tomorrow, next week, in a month. You'll be amazed at how much just a month opens your eyes.
Speaker 2:If you're ready to stop trying figuring this out on your own, if you're ready to already feel calm even when your kids aren't calm, I would love to get you there. You are standing on one side of the road, and over there is the mom that you want to be. My job is to help you move over or cross the road to the other side of the road. That is the mother that you want to be, and coaching is the support your future self will thank you for. So go to wwwmasteryourownwellbeingcom. Forward slash coaching, sign up and I will go through this process with you. I will show you how coaching works. I do these calls myself. Thank you for listening today. Talk to you again next week. Bye for now.
Speaker 1:Thank you for tuning in to today's episode. Your time means the world to us. If you found this episode valuable, we would be immensely grateful if you could spare a moment to visit Apple Podcasts and share your thoughts through a review. Thank you.
