Motherhood & The Brain
Are you tired of feeling like you’re always at your wit's end, especially when it comes to yelling at your kids?
You’re not alone.
Motherhood can be overwhelming, especially when your preteen seems to push every button and you just can’t seem to get through to them without losing your temper.
This podcast is for moms who are juggling work, family, and everything in between, and are ready to stop yelling and start connecting with their kids in a more peaceful way.
We’ll take you on a journey through the ups and downs of raising a preteen, offering brain-based strategies and practical tips on how to handle everything from discipline to managing your own emotions.
We’ll dive into topics like how to better understand your child’s behavior, how to stop yelling and start listening, and how to build a stronger, more trusting relationship with your preteen.
You’ll learn about positive parenting, emotional control, and simple, science-backed methods for managing mom anger and helping your preteen thrive.
If you’re looking for real, actionable advice on how to deal with the challenges of raising a preteen, this is the place for you.
Let’s make this motherhood journey a little smoother, together.
Motherhood & The Brain
The Hidden Cost of Yelling; And How to Stop It
Have you ever told yourself, “I’m not going to yell today,” but then lost your cool before breakfast even ended? You’re not broken. Your brain is just doing what it thinks is best.
Your brain is built to keep you safe. It tries to avoid hard stuff, find comfort, and save energy. That’s great when you’re in real danger; but not so helpful when your kids are whining, fighting, or not listening. In those moments, your brain thinks, “This is too much!” and reacts by yelling, snapping, or shutting down. It’s not because you’re failing; it’s because your brain is trying to protect you.
The real change doesn’t come from quick parenting tricks. It comes from knowing why you want to stay calm in the first place. Maybe it’s because you want a strong bond with your kids when they’re older. Maybe you want to be different than how you were raised. Or maybe it’s because you see the look on your child’s face after you yell and it hurts. That “why” helps you stay steady when things feel hard.
The truth is, becoming the calm mom you want to be happens one moment at a time. Every time you pause, breathe, or choose not to react, that’s progress. You can do this on your own. But coaching gives you extra support, tools to use in the heat of the moment, and someone to remind you to keep going when your brain says “just give up.” Coaching is a way of saying: my peace matters, my growth matters, and my family matters.
👉 The 60-second Yell Less Reset quiz is your first step toward change.
“I never wanted to be the mom who yells…”
But here you are, raising your voice, snapping over small things, saying things you wish you could take back.
You love your kids more than anything.
And you know they don’t deserve a mom who yells.
You just don’t know how to stop; especially when they won’t listen, talk back, or push every single boundary.
👉 The 60-second Yell Less Reset quiz is your first step toward change.
Already taken by many moms who wanted to break the yelling cycle.
Based on the science of how your brain responds to stress, this quiz goes beyond surface-level tips.
It helps you pause, uncover what’s really fueling those outbursts, and start shifting the pattern before it spirals again.
You’ll discover:
✅ Your personal Reset; so you can get your kids to listen without needing to yell, threaten, or give in
✅ It’s not just their behavior; it’s the moment you feel like nothing you say matters
✅A clear next step to help you stay calm and in charge; even when your kids are testing every boundary
Welcome to Motherhood from the Brain, a podcast guiding moms of preteen girls on how to navigate emotional challenges that are not addressed in school. We share real stories, expert advice and brain-based methods for handling tough moments. Discover insights to create a deeper connection with your preteen and improve your motherhood journey. Let's tackle the uncharted territory of parenting together, hosted by professional, certified coach, esther Babazi.
Speaker 2:Before we begin, I want to share a brief disclaimer. I am not a psychiatrist, psychologist or any other licensed mental health professional. On this podcast, motherhood and the Brain, I share what has personally helped me improve my mental and emotional well-being. My hope is that by sharing my experiences, I might help even one mother out there who is struggling. Hello there, friend. Welcome back to episode number 54 of the Motherhood and the Brain podcast. My name is Esther Mbabazi.
Speaker 2:Have you ever promised yourself that you would not snub today, only to find yourself sn yourself snapping before breakfast? Well, my friend, I have been there. So I'm just here to tell you that you are not alone and you are definitely not broken, and there is nothing wrong with you. There is a reason it feels so hard to stay rounded or calm in the moment, and there is something even more important than willpower that will keep you going when things get messy. Today we are talking about the one thing that will quietly carry you through the hardest moments of motherhood and help you become the mama that you truly want to be. So let's get going.
Speaker 2:Your protective brain is wired to avoid pain, seek comfort and conserve energy. That wiring helped your ancestors survive. Maybe we would not be here if it would not be for that wiring. But now it is the same wiring that keeps you stuck, because when things get hard, when your kids push on your buttons, when you feel overwhelmed or on the edge, your protective brain sees that discomfort as a form of danger. Your protective brain wants relief there and then and yelling, snapping, shutting down are some of the quick exits your brain uses to regain control. It is not because you're failing, not because you lack self-control, but because your brain is trying to rescue you from something it perceives as dangerous. That is why building this skill takes some practice, because staying calm in a heated moment isn't your brain's natural instinct. It is a skill, it is something that you practice to teach. That you have to teach your brain through practice, and that is why you need a why W-H-Y, a why. You don't need just a surface level tip or trick or strategy or hope, but a deep anchored reason for why you want to learn the skill of remaining calm in heated moments. Because when you're exhausted and stretched thin, your brain will try to talk you out of it. It will say things like this is too hard, nothing is changing, why bother? You already yelled today. You already snapped this morning. There is no need of trying more. You already yelled this week. You were just like that. You came from a family of people who yelled, so it is in your dm. Your brain will throw out all these sentences, and that is why you need to have a grounding reason, a reason why you want to learn this skill.
Speaker 2:Your reason why is the thing that will keep you going when quitting feels easier. And your reason why is personal. It may be because you want to have a close relationship with your children when they are older, or maybe because you want to feel good about how we show up and not crushed at the end of every day. Maybe you grew up in a home where yelling was the norm and you remember the pain it caused you and you don't want to subject your children to the same pain. Perhaps yelling and snapping is starting to affect your marriage in a negative way. Maybe your husband or wife or spouse is not a yeller, like we call them, and every time you yell at your kids, you have this other side argument with your spouse, and this argument is leading to a dynamic that you don't want between you and your spouse, a dynamic that you don't want between you and your spouse? Or maybe you see the pain in your children's eyes. Every time, your voice is sharp and you know deep down in your heart that this is not who you want to be. That is why your reason why is powerful. Your reason why keeps you grounded when things get hard.
Speaker 2:So imagine yourself three months from now, six months from now, a year from now, that future version of you. She still faces hard moments. That future version of you still hears no from her kids. That future version of you still manages big emotions, both yours and your children's. That future version of you still has kids who bicker at the dinner table. Her kids still slam doors in her face. But that future version of you meets those moments differently. That future version of you is steady. She does not spiral when things do not go her way. She feels proud of her responses, even when they are not perfect. And that future version of you got there because of the work that you decided to do today.
Speaker 2:There, because of the work that you decided to do today, every pause, every deep breath, every time you notice what your brain wants to do and you choose something else, you are building that future version of you, moment by moment, step by step, and this is where coaching helps you. You can do this without coaching yes, 100%, but it takes longer. And, let's be honest, if reading books and listening to podcasts were enough, you'd probably already be there. But what coaching gives you is a real-time support. It gives you tools that work in the heat of the moment. It helps you stop defaulting to old patterns and start responding from the version of the mom that you want to be. And, more than anything, coaching gives you accountability to keep going, especially when your brain says forget it, this is too much, forget it. Why even bother? She doesn't appreciate you. Mending of above words, trying to do da-da-da-da-da. The child doesn't respect you. All those things. Coaching gives you accountability and room to keep going.
Speaker 2:When you invest in coaching, you are not investing in a program. You're investing in you. You are not investing in a program. You're investing in you, in your peace. You're investing in your growth, in your legacy. You are saying to yourself that I matter. I matter too. My kids are worth it, my future is worth it.
Speaker 2:So I want to ask you again what is your reason why for learning the skill of remaining calm in the moment. Write it down. There is no police here. This is for your eyes only you know your reason. Write it down, spend some time on it. Let it ground you. Let it remind you that the uncomfortable work you're doing today is shaping the mom, or the future version of yourself, of the mother you want to be Tomorrow, next week, in a month. You'll be amazed at how much just a month opens your eyes. If you're ready to stop trying figuring this out on your own, if you're ready to already feel calm even when your kids aren't gone, I would love to get you there. You are standing on one side of the road, and over there is the mom that you want to be. My job is to help you move over or cross the road to the other side of the road. That is the mother that you want to be, and coaching is the support your future self will thank you for. So go to wwwmasteryourownwellbeingcom. Forward slash coaching. Sign up and I will go through this process with you. I will show you how coaching works. I do these calls myself. Thank you for listening today. Talk to you again next week. Bye for now. Talk to you again next week. Bye for now.
Speaker 2:What if you could feel in control of your reactions, even when your preteen is pushing all your buttons. I know it's tough, but I would love to help. That's why I created the year-less formula. If you want to stop, or at least reduce, yearling and really build that connection that you want with your child, I would be honored to work with you. Head over to wwwmasteryourownwellbeingcom. Forward slash coaching to grab a spot for a complimentary call to get a feel of what coaching is and how coaching works. Coaching will help you manage your reactions. Wwwmasteryourownwellbeingcom. Forward slash coaching. See you there, thank you.
Speaker 1:Thank you for tuning in to today's episode. Your time means the world to us. If you found this episode valuable, we would be immensely grateful if you could spare a moment to visit Apple Podcasts and share your thoughts through a review. Your feedback plays a vital role in helping fellow moms discover our podcast and enrich their own motherhood experiences. Take care and bye for now.
