Motherhood & The Brain
Are you tired of feeling like you’re always at your wit's end, especially when it comes to yelling at your kids?
You’re not alone.
Motherhood can be overwhelming, especially when your preteen seems to push every button and you just can’t seem to get through to them without losing your temper.
This podcast is for moms who are juggling work, family, and everything in between, and are ready to stop yelling and start connecting with their kids in a more peaceful way.
We’ll take you on a journey through the ups and downs of raising a preteen, offering brain-based strategies and practical tips on how to handle everything from discipline to managing your own emotions.
We’ll dive into topics like how to better understand your child’s behavior, how to stop yelling and start listening, and how to build a stronger, more trusting relationship with your preteen.
You’ll learn about positive parenting, emotional control, and simple, science-backed methods for managing mom anger and helping your preteen thrive.
If you’re looking for real, actionable advice on how to deal with the challenges of raising a preteen, this is the place for you.
Let’s make this motherhood journey a little smoother, together.
Motherhood & The Brain
You want to change something, but you just… don’t.
You’ve promised yourself you wouldn’t yell again… and yet, it keeps happening.
Why?
In this episode, we explore the hidden reason so many moms stay stuck in cycles they want to break, but don’t.
If you’ve ever wondered why the change you crave feels just out of reach, this conversation will shine a light on what’s really going on beneath the surface, and what it actually takes to shift.
This isn’t about more willpower. It’s about something deeper.
Tune in if you’re ready to take the first step toward lasting calm.
👉 The 60-second Yell Less Reset quiz is your first step toward change.
“I never wanted to be the mom who yells…”
But here you are, raising your voice, snapping over small things, saying things you wish you could take back.
You love your kids more than anything.
And you know they don’t deserve a mom who yells.
You just don’t know how to stop; especially when they won’t listen, talk back, or push every single boundary.
👉 The 60-second Yell Less Reset quiz is your first step toward change.
Already taken by many moms who wanted to break the yelling cycle.
Based on the science of how your brain responds to stress, this quiz goes beyond surface-level tips.
It helps you pause, uncover what’s really fueling those outbursts, and start shifting the pattern before it spirals again.
You’ll discover:
✅ Your personal Reset; so you can get your kids to listen without needing to yell, threaten, or give in
✅ It’s not just their behavior; it’s the moment you feel like nothing you say matters
✅A clear next step to help you stay calm and in charge; even when your kids are testing every boundary
When you delay to make a decision, it feels like you're staying still, but you are not. You are deciding when you don't make a decision. Not deciding to make a decision is actually a decision. Let me repeat that Not deciding is a decision that you are making, even if you are not aware of it. It's a decision to stay in the loop. You already know. A decision to keep rehearsing guilt instead of relief. A decision to stay stuck in the same nightly apology cycle. Stuck in the same nightly apology cycle.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Motherhood from the Brain, a podcast guiding moms of preteen girls on how to navigate emotional challenges that are not addressed in school. We share real stories, expert advice and brain-based methods for handling tough moments. Discover insights to create a deeper connection with your preteen and improve your motherhood journey. Let's tackle the uncharted territory of parenting together, hosted by professional, certified coach, esther Babazi.
Speaker 1:Before we begin, I want to share a brief disclaimer. I am not a psychiatrist, psychologist or any other licensed mental health professional. On this podcast, motherhood and the Brain, I share what has personally helped me improve my mental and emotional well-being. My hope is that by sharing my experiences, I might help even one mother out there who is struggling. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, good night from wherever you're listening in from. Welcome back to the Motherhood and the Brain podcast. This is episode number 62 and my name is Esther Mbabazi.
Speaker 1:How are you feeling today? How are you really feeling today? Check in with your body. What's going on in your chest? What's going on in your stomach? Your body what's going on in your chest. What's going on in your stomach, what's going on in your forehead? Are you feeling a knot in your stomach? Are you feeling a tightness in your chest? Are you feeling a tightness in your forehead? What is going on with you?
Speaker 1:Check yourself to see, because many times, when people ask us how are you feeling, all we say is we are fine, even if we are not fine. For example, if you feel a knot in your stomach, it could be anxiety or fear or whatever you could just name. What is going on. I'm feeling a knot in my stomach. Hmm, I wonder what that is. And then you can go back to what you're thinking in that particular time, because when we think things, they lead us to feel a certain way and we check in our bodies to find out how we are feeling and we check in our bodies to find out how we are feeling. Many times you will find out what you're feeling before finding out what you are thinking. Sometimes it happens like that, like the thought will go under the radar, but the feeling is always there. Maybe you feel scared, maybe you feel anxious, or you're fearful, or you feel ashamed, or you feel guilty. But the reason why you feel guilty may take you a little while to come to the surface, but it always does if you pay attention to it.
Speaker 1:Okay, back to today's episode. You know that feeling when there is something you truly want to shift. You have thought about it more than once. You have imagined what life would be like if things were different, and yet, for some reason, you haven't moved at all. It's not because you don't care, it's not because it's not important, but because something, often quietly invisible, holds you in place. In this episode I am exploring that space, the space between wanting to change and actually deciding to change. You scroll past something that could help and your brain whispers. Now is not the right time. I'll look into that later. I should be able to figure this out on my own. These are the sentences that your brain throws at you.
Speaker 1:Here is the thing your brain is not designed for improvement. Your brain is not designed to seek growth. Your higher thinking brain is responsible for making decisions. It is logical and goal-driven, and your higher thinking brain thinks long term, while your protective brain is quick, emotional and risk-sensitive. It is the part of the brain that scans your surroundings for things that can be both emotionally and physically threatening. Your protective brain hates uncertainty threatening. Your protective brain hates uncertainty.
Speaker 1:It prioritizes keeping you safe, even if safe means, for example, yelling every evening and feeling miserable afterward. Safety to the protective brain equals familiarity. So even if yelling doesn't feel good, it is known. It is familiar to the protective brain and known. You hesitate to get help. Your brain is actually doing its job. It's trying to keep you in the world. It understands.
Speaker 1:It whispers that staying the same is less risky than stepping into something new. But here is the problem than stepping into something new. But here is the problem when you delay to make a decision, it feels like you're staying still, but you are not. You are deciding when you don't make a decision. Not deciding to make a decision is actually a decision. Let me repeat that Not deciding is a decision that you are making, even if you are not aware of it. It's a decision to stay in the loop, you already know. A decision to keep rehearsing guilt instead of relief, a decision to stay stuck in the same nightly apology cycle. And the cost of that is not just emotional, it's relational, it's physical, it's generational.
Speaker 1:You lose time, not just minutes, but moments, the moments when your child needed connection and you could not find calm. You lose trust, not just with your children, but with yourself, because every day you don't follow through on the change you want, a small part of you starts believing that maybe you can't, and the longer you wait, the heavier it gets. What was once a single choice becomes a mountain. Now I'm too far gone. I've been yelling too long. I should already know how to do this, but here is what I want you to know You're not too far gone. You're just one decision away from shifting the entire trajectory, one decision away from becoming the mom you already see in your mind.
Speaker 1:You don't need more willpower, you need a bridge, and coaching is that bridge. Coaching connects you the version of you now that is tired, that is trying, that is overwhelmed, to the woman you know, that is inside of you, to the woman that you see in your mind's eye, the one who does not raise her voice every day, the one who holds boundaries with love and clarity, and the one who ends the day feeling proud, not defeated. With coaching, we walk together into the moment where yelling happens and we slow it down. We explore what your brain is doing, we name that fear that's been driving the delay and we build the muscle of calm, not just as a concept but as a lived practice. Coaching is where you stop thinking about change and practice becoming the mom that you want to be.
Speaker 1:So, instead of snapping or shutting down, you feel the heat rise in your chest, but you know how to pause. You take a breath. You notice the urge to yell, but you do not follow the urge to yell. You say something calm, even if your voice shakes a little. That moment is you building the capacity to stay steady. That pause is what you were never shown growing up.
Speaker 1:Just like many of us, you are not ignoring frustration. You're handling it in a new way. It doesn't feel easy. It might even feel unnatural at first, but every time you do it, you are building something you never got the ability to stay present and grounded when things around feel chaotic. This place is where the future version of you stops being a dream and it starts being your default. And, to be honest, change can be scary. But what is even scarier is waking up three months from now, six months from now, a year from now, in the same exact cycle.
Speaker 1:You're still yelling, you're still apologizing. You lie awake at night wondering if you will have a good relationship with your kids when they are older. So here is your moment, not later, not next month. Today you don't have to leap the whole mountain. You just have to take one step toward the version of you that already exists in your mind's eye. The calm mom, the calm version of you is not a fantasy. That person is already there, waiting for you to reach out. She just wants you to decide. She's waiting for you to make a decision and, if you're ready to stop with the same cycle of feeling guilty, apologizing, lying awake, only to do it over again the next day. I would love to hold your hand as you walk this path. Go to wwwmasteryourownwellbeingcom. Forward slash coaching Register and let's get started. Thank you so much for listening today. Talk to you again. Bye for now.
Speaker 2:Thank you for tuning in to today's episode. Your time means the world to us. If you found this episode valuable, we would be immensely grateful if you could spare a moment to visit Apple Podcasts and share your thoughts through a review. Your feedback plays a vital role in helping fellow moms discover our podcast and enrich their own motherhood experiences. Take care and bye for now.
