#154 Don’t Tell Me What To Do: ADHD, PDA & The Demand-Avoidant Brain Artwork

Navigating Adult ADHD

Education, Support and Coaching for Adults with ADHD.

Combing science backed research and evidence based coaching tools to help you understand and work with your ADHD brain.

With a no BS approach, this Podcast will help you better understand your unique ADHD brain and how you can work with it to feel better, increase your self-confidence, improve your relationships and achieve your goals.

Empowering adults with ADHD to thrive.

**Xena Jones is not a medical professional. This podcast is not a substitute for medical advice.**

All Episodes

Navigating Adult ADHD

#154 Don’t Tell Me What To Do: ADHD, PDA & The Demand-Avoidant Brain

February 24, 2026 • Xena Jones • Episode 154

0:00 | 31:30

In this episode, we’re unpacking Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) - It’s the “the second it becomes a have to, my brain says hell no” feeling, you might experience…

I can decide myself to clean the kitchen & feel fine. But if my partner asks me, suddenly it’s a whole thing!

We’ll chat about:

What PDA is & how it’s driven by anxiety & a need for autonomy, not laziness or being difficult.
How PDA can show up in adults with ADHD, from ignoring texts to melting down over “simple” tasks
Why your nervous system treats everyday demands like threats, even when they’re self-care or fun
The key difference between PDA & ODD (and how the why behind behaviour matters)
3 Practical ways to make demands feel smaller & safer, increase your sense of choice,& support your nervous system instead of bullying yourself into action

If you’ve ever wondered, “Why do I fight even the things I want to do?”, this episode is for you my friend.

LINKS TO GOOD SH*T:

*Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain

*Get our ADHD Coach in your pocket! + the ADHD Goal Setting Workbook (life planner tool)