#93| How Your Own Thoughts Are Keeping You Stuck In Overwhelm & How To Break Free

Have you ever felt trapped in an endless loop of negative thoughts, wondering why true change feels out of reach?

If you're overwhelmed by daily struggles or constantly fighting feelings of guilt and inadequacy, this episode offers a roadmap to shift your mindset and reclaim control over your life, just like my client, Angelina Moehlmann, did during her transformative journey.

In this episode, you will learn:

1. How break free from thought patterns that lead to self-doubt and overwhelm.
2. Effective techniques to manage stress and prioritize what matters most.
3. How to spark lasting change, in your personal AND professional life

Hit play now to find out how shifting your thoughts can empower you to create the life you've always envisioned.


Featured on the podcast
Destination Baby book website
Destination Baby on Amazon
Destination Baby Facebook page
Connect with Angelina on Instagram
Ep #19: The Life-Changing Power of Routines
Fresh Start Morning Routine worksheet
Your Best Year workshop

Wondering why you're overwhelmed? Take my "why am I overwhelmed" quiz to find out the source of your overwhelm, and what to do about it. 

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Work With Me - Interested in working with me 1-on-1, taking a class, or joining one of my coaching groups? Message me here to get the scoop.   

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Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Worki...

Transcript

Angie Moehlmann 0:00

I realized that it was taking away time from my family that I was never going to get back .

Michelle Gauthier 0:10

You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman , the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less . I'm your host , Michelle Gauthier , a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach . On this show , we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences and in each episode you'll get a strategy to bring more calm , ease and relaxation to your life . Hey friend , thanks for joining today . I absolutely love when I have my former clients on episodes like I do today , because you can learn from them exactly what they learned in coaching and you can apply these things to your own life .

Michelle Gauthier 0:51

Angie is going to tell us the story of how she went from feeling just overwhelmed and stuck and guilty and in shame about the way that she was living her life , to totally transforming it . You will not believe all of the changes that she made , including publishing a book , creating really strong boundaries with her kids , quitting the job her nine to five job that she'd had for like 20 years to do something that really filled her soul . She has just gotten a ton of amazing results and I'm so excited for you to hear her story . Let's tune in . Hi , thanks for joining . Introduce yourself and say hi to the audience .

Michelle Gauthier 1:37

Thanks for having me my name is Angie Moehlmann and I am one of your clients and have had such amazing results . Yeah , absolutely . I'm so glad for the audience to get to understand and know some of the results that you have gotten in your life . But I want to start off by asking you just in general , what made you consider getting a coach .

Angie Moehlmann 1:55

It was at a time in my life that it was so very stressful . We'd had COVID , I had a failed marriage , and every day was a struggle . It was a struggle to go to work , it was a struggle to feel like I was doing the right thing for my kids and I just was feeling very broken . And this was the time that you had been in coaching for a little while . So I'd seen your work online and I knew that I had to do something different , and so I reached out to you and set up a consultation .

Michelle Gauthier 2:26

Okay , and had you ever worked with a therapist before ?

Angie Moehlmann 2:29

Yes , and I felt like with therapy , there was a lot of talk and there was a lot of investigating my feelings and my thinking , but it was never very action oriented . It just felt like I was talking about my feelings and then not a lot was happening after that , and so I was looking for a way to just really feel supported but also empowered to do something different .

Michelle Gauthier 2:54

Yeah , yeah , to take more action . I agree , I had that same experience . I worked with a therapist who I am so grateful for to this day . She helped me so much work through like some traumatic things and a lot about my divorce . And then I feel like sometimes coaching is the solution when you get to that point where you're like , okay , now I've got to really start making some changes in my life . And right , well , I'm glad that you found me online , even though you already knew - we knew each other not super well , but we knew of each other at that time , so I'm glad it worked out . So , as you know , because you've done it with me and you've worked with me twice , actually , I work with my clients for a minimum of six months because in my experience , that's how long it takes to create a new habit and really stick with it . But do you remember and you might not , because it's been a while now since we worked together the first time but do you remember how long it took you before you started feeling somewhat better

Thought Cycles

Michelle Gauthier 3:52

?

Angie Moehlmann 3:52

Well , I'm going to be honest . So I kept a notebook and like a journal of all of our sessions that we had together and I went back and read them because I just wanted to kind of gather some thoughts for our talk today , and I realized the work that we did and how impactful it was . And literally the first session I walked away with this feeling of hope and that was what really inspired me , because I realized that I have come a really long way after working with you and so , like the very first session , I remember feeling like okay , there's a possibility for change , and it just felt so incredibly good because I was just so stuck in these like negative thought cycles .

Michelle Gauthier 4:40

Yes , yes , oh , my gosh . That's so awesome . I'm so glad to hear that . And I think sometimes it does just take somebody , like when I was getting divorced and feeling so miserable it just takes somebody else saying I know how to help you feel better . And that's probably exactly what I said to you you feel terrible right now , but I can help you feel so much better if you stick with it and do this thing , and you sure did .

Angie Moehlmann 5:03

Yes , and I feel like , while we do have a lot of similarities in our stories with the situations that have happened , I do feel like it really is applicable to any field or thing that people are struggling with , so it doesn't just have to be divorce . It's really about you're stuck in a thought cycle and you want something different to happen .

Michelle Gauthier 5:26

Yes , yes , and I don't know about you , but before coaching I wouldn't have even known what that meant , like being stuck in a thought cycle . How does that work ? What does that have to do with anything ? But you can't come out of coaching with me without knowing that, right ? Absolutely .

Angie Moehlmann 5:39

That's one of the major things that we talked about .

Michelle Gauthier 5:42

So what are some of the tips or tricks that you learned that had the biggest impact on you or have had the biggest impact on you so far ?

Angie Moehlmann 5:50

Right . So I think really it just has to do with the thought cycle , like we kind of just talked about that . You know , the idea that your thoughts are going to create your feelings and that the thoughts we think are going to create the results we get in our life . So I had no idea that this was even a thing , but you really helped me to realize that there is this cycle that we have , you know , a circumstance or something that happens , we have a thought about it , then we have our feeling , then there's an action and a result and you know , I initially just had so much like guilt and this feeling that I wasn't enough and I felt overwhelmed and it was just these negative self-talk that was going through my head . You know , my mind was literally cluttered with it and there was just it took this idea of working with you that you said,

Angie Moehlmann 6:43

you know you get to control your thoughts , and so something as simple as like planning dinner . It was causing me to be so overwhelmed and think that I was a bad mom because I wasn't doing these certain things in this way . And then another example is like getting to school on time . We were getting to school late and I just felt like, I'm a complete failure . And so it was just talking through - sometimes simple, it looked like simple things, you really helped me to realize that , okay , you get to control how you think about this . It just made such a difference .

Michelle Gauthier 7:18

Yes , yes , and I think it's interesting to point out too that at that time , you were a principal . You were running an entire school . So the thought that you're not doing a good job and not being a good mom because you didn't , I don't know , have whatever dinner you had in mind , you weren't giving yourself any credit for the millions of things that you were doing every day .

Angie Moehlmann 7:41

Right , and that's one of the things , too , that I think is so powerful in working with you is that you always start off our sessions by saying what was your win for the week , and sometimes we get so busy that we don't, you know, in the ins and outs of the day that we don't take time to really celebrate . Okay , there are a lot of things that are going right right now , and so that's very powerful to just identify . Okay , you are doing a great job in certain areas and when you're working with someone like me who was kind of stuck in this feeling of overwhelm and negative , that to identify those is really helpful .

Michelle Gauthier 8:18

Yeah , exactly , and I think it's just human nature to discount our wins , and so we have to train our brain also to focus on our wins and be like oh wow , I really did a great job about that . Okay , so what I hear you saying is the best tool that you've gotten is the idea that , although a thought might come into your head , you don't have to believe it . You have the choice to control it and take you know , choose another thought and feel differently and act differently and get these different results . I know sometimes that can take a little bit of practice , but it really is so , so powerful .

Michelle Gauthier 8:51

One of my other clients just said the other day I just noticed myself talking in a way that's so different . I'll say I feel guilty because I'm having this thought of blah , blah , blah . She can just articulate easily, the reason why I'm feeling this way is because I am having this thought in my own head that's causing me to feel that way , and it can be just so empowering because then you can change it . It doesn't have anything to do with anybody else , which is great .

Angie Moehlmann 9:17

And one of the things that you really helped me to kind of visualize is using the idea of a cloud and saying like these are all thoughts , they're all coming in , I can see them and I get to choose which one I'm going to grab on to and hold on to , and I just love that .

Michelle Gauthier 9:33

Yes , yes , exactly , and not judging yourself for having those clouds , whatever thoughts may come by . I actually just sent out an email this morning and I had finished working out at my gym and it was my - there's a little app we use so I always know exactly how many workouts I've done , and it said it was my 94th workout for the year , and my immediate first thought was, somebody today just got to 200 . Like, 94 sucks, right ? And so instead of being like oh my gosh , why did I have that thought, how can I be so mean to myself, or believing that that's true that I suck for only doing 94 workouts , I'm just able to see that cloud float by that said that , and then just to be able to think 94 is amazing .

Michelle Gauthier 10:13

I'm going to choose this new thought . It's not a cloud . I have to make it up myself and I'm going to hold on to that one instead . Yeah , it's just such a small thing , but it really is life changing .

Angie Moehlmann 10:26

Another one of the activities that you did with me that I also felt was really powerful was you had me trace a hand and inside the hand you had me think about what was in my control , and then on the outside was like what is not within my control , and so I will do that a lot , just saying you know how I react or respond , my attitude about things . I get to choose , that I can't control the other things that are happening out here , but this is what's in my control .

Michelle Gauthier 10:54

Yes , yes , that's such a good one , and that's also such a good one to use with kids . Like it's so simple when they're upset about something not little little kids , but , you know , teenage-ish or like tween kids . I think that's a great one too . Okay , what change did you find the hardest to make ?

Angie Moehlmann 11:12

Well , I think it was really just how can I reframe my thoughts ? So , in being able to think about this is the feeling that I have , and now I get to go and choose how I'm going to feel about it . I think was something that was really hard , yeah it just takes a while .

Michelle Gauthier 11:32

It's not impossible , but it's just hard to get used to it . But pretty soon it becomes the new habit and then you can just do it right off the bat , which is so great . When you were doing coaching or while you're doing coaching , did anyone notice a difference in you ?

Angie Moehlmann 11:47

Yes , and it was very evident and actually comical with my children because I would say , well , my life coach says , and they'd be like , oh , that life coach , we're so tired of hearing about her ideas . Because I'd always be like , well , we need to set boundaries , and this is important , because X , y , z , and they're like , oh , no more . So it was just kind of funny because you're behaving in a different way than people are used to and when you have been , I felt very broken and I didn't have control over things in my own home . And when you try to kind of redeem that or take back that control , it looks different , feels different for people .

Michelle Gauthier 12:30

For sure it does . I just read something not too long ago that said the people who don't like when you start enforcing boundaries are the ones who benefit from you not having boundaries . Yes , that is so true . So sometimes when we change , other people don't like it . But part of the coaching is also learning to recognize that and feel okay about it , Because you learn to put yourself first and set the boundaries that work for you so that you can be a good mom or a good principal or a good girlfriend or whatever you're trying to get to . Absolutely Okay . So how does your life feel now ?

Making Changes

Angie Moehlmann 13:08

Oh my gosh , it is like when I was like I said I was looking back over this and I was reading and just realizing what I mean really a dark place I was in . And to look at you know , it's been four years since we started working together and to think about all of the things that have changed for a positive way , it is simply amazing . One of the things was I quit my nine to five job and I decided that I'm going to make a change in my career and do the things that - you know, I loved being a principal and an educator , but I realized that it was taking away time from my family that I was never going to get back , and so this was an opportunity to just look at things in a different light . We moved into a new home that I felt like it was authentic for my kids and I . I set boundaries with them .

Angie Moehlmann 14:01

I really stopped allowing the negative self-talk that was going on in my head and realizing that I couldn't control what , at the time , my ex was saying to me , and you started a game where you were like , okay , make it a game where every day , you are not going to let him , you know , control your feelings or your emotions , and that has really stuck with me and I'm like , oh , guess what ? You don't get to control how I'm feeling today . I also wrote a book like things that I never would have had the courage or strength to feel like I could do , but it's like I'm just a new person really .

Michelle Gauthier 14:38

Oh my gosh . Yes , I loved that when you were like , okay , I think I want to write a book . It's like what ? Oh my gosh , of course , absolutely .

Angie Moehlmann 14:46

Tell me all about it and here we go , yes , and now it's published .

Michelle Gauthier 14:50

Yes , and here it is , done and done . What made you want to write a book ?

Destination Baby

Angie Moehlmann 14:55

Well , it's just always been ever since we adopted my daughter Molly 15 years ago , and I felt like when I was going through it it was such a difficult , lonely path and I didn't know how to reach out or how to connect with others about it and all of the things that happened kind of on our journey to parenthood I was like this has got to be written down .

Angie Moehlmann 15:18

It feels like it was a lifetime story for TV or something , but I'm like I just want to share it with the world and so , like I said , with my schedule , I was able to be able to follow that passion .

Michelle Gauthier 15:31

Yes , yes , I would say with your mindset , you were able to be able to follow that passion because , yes , you retired from your principal job , but you also had like three other jobs and two kids and so many things going on . You just decided that you were going to do it and then you did it and you shared a story that is very vulnerable and I'm sure it felt uncomfortable sometimes writing it , but you did it . I read the book . I absolutely loved it . I'm so proud that you took the time to do it , and , as a fellow adoptive mom , I know how hard that stage can be , and so I'm just so happy that so many more potential moms or moms will be able to read your story , or families , dads , can read it too , and just be encouraged by the way that it worked out for you and this is not a sunshine and roses book Like this was a tough go on all fronts .

Angie Moehlmann 16:24

It was , and it's funny because sometimes I think in life we're able to just kind of compartmentalize and put things that happen in the past and just put it kind of to the past .

Angie Moehlmann 16:37

And so in writing this it was like bringing up all of those feelings all over again , you know , and kind of like reliving the story . And you know it was an interesting activity to do and I kind of challenged everyone to just kind of take some time to reflect on those moments , because you know you can get so busy in life and not realize how much you have gone through and how much you , how much you've survived really and now thriving . I feel like and that was kind of one of the inspirations of the book is my daughter was looking back over our blog and she was like Mom , I cannot believe you went through all of this and you were so brave in your struggles . And I was like Molly , thank you . You know , like that means so much , and so I wanted this to kind of be a record and treasure for her to have someday to look back on .

Michelle Gauthier 17:28

Yes , oh , it's so great . Where can people get a copy ?

Angie Moehlmann 17:32

Yeah , so if you want to go to my website , it's destinationbabyauthor . com . You can also go to Amazon and just type in Destination Baby and it'll be there .

Michelle Gauthier 17:43

And there it is . I read it on Kindle . Personally , it was such a good read . I read it in like two days and I'm a busy person , so that was .

Angie Moehlmann 17:52

Thank you , that means so much , that means so much .

Michelle Gauthier 17:55

It was so good . It was so good . Okay , so back to your results that you got . You essentially quit your job , started a new career , moved houses , wrote a book , what else .

Angie Moehlmann 18:10

Well , I think really the most important part is just how I feel about my life right now . It's very calm and peaceful . I'm energized . Every day I'm like , oh my gosh , I get to have this amazing life ahead of me . And it just feels so incredibly good .

Michelle Gauthier 18:29

That's so awesome . It sounds like you've . I don't want to put words in your mouth , but it's like you could create whatever you want now .

Angie Moehlmann 18:36

I do feel like that . In fact , I'm like , okay , what's next ? And I feel like I'm so inspired by the work that we've done together that I'm like , okay , maybe I kind of want to be a life coach now , because it's so exciting to see that change

New Habits

Angie Moehlmann 18:51

.

Michelle Gauthier 18:51

Yeah , next time I have you on , you'll be telling us about who you coach . I can just see it now . Oh my gosh , let's give the audience the example that you and I just worked on about creating a new habit to start walking . Will you tell them a little bit about your experience with that ?

Angie Moehlmann 19:08

Yes , so I've done a lot of work in trying to make healthier choices and just really living my best life . And in my mind I'm like I know I should be working out , but something is blocking me from it , and you know . So we kind of just talked about it and you were like , okay , what are your thoughts about it ? And so we list those out . And then , you know , in my mind I was like , oh , I need to go to a gym , I need to do this , it has to be like this . And you're like , but does it really ?

Angie Moehlmann 19:37

And so it was just this opportunity to look at things a little bit differently . And you were like , okay , you love to listen to podcasts , you love to be outside . What if those are your things that you go by ? And I'm like , is it really that easy ? And guess what ? Now I have been walking five times a week listening to my podcast and enjoying being outside , and it's like it really is that simple . But sometimes we can't do that work on our own , and so that's why it's so powerful to have a coach like you to help you just kind of like think through the things .

Michelle Gauthier 20:10

Yes , absolutely , and I did think it was fun to write down like Angie doesn't join gyms , like we just made this decision because you're like I've joined gyms , I never go to them , I don't like them . It's like why do we keep trying to make ourselves do things that we don't like ? Just do the thing you do like . So that's amazing and I know health-wise you've gotten a ton healthier in many ways , probably all from investigating different thoughts and things like that .

Angie Moehlmann 20:40

Yes , and it's just been so powerful to see , and one of the things that I do now to be less overwhelmed , that helps support that is that I use this journal and it was something that you had kind of started in one of your sessions and so where I write down my thoughts for the day , three things that I'm grateful for , one thing I love about myself , and then come up with my plan for like lunch and dinner and then when I'm going to do my walking , yeah .

Michelle Gauthier 21:10

So it's just like a done deal . You work on it in the morning , you write it down and then it's just going to happen . Exactly , that's awesome , okay . Exactly , that's awesome , okay . So , in general , I'm just so impressed with everything that you have done , because you're the one who had to change your thoughts , take those different actions , get all of these amazing results , and the fact that you feel like you can create anything in your life right now , anything you want , is amazing . Obviously , there will still be times when you feel stressed or overwhelmed or guilty or whatever kinds of thoughts come up for you . How do you handle those ? Because we don't want to give the impression like , oh , if you come and do coaching , you'll never feel sad again a day in your life , or you'll never feel overwhelmed . So how do you handle it when bad things come up ?

Angie Moehlmann 21:54

So I think it's so easy to fall into our old habits and have negative self-talk or whatever it is that is going on , and so it's good , I think , to know that you can continue coaching for one thing . So that's something that I , you know . We ended our sessions and then I was like , you know , I've reached a level where I kind of want to go back and do some more work with Michelle , so that's one thing . But then , you know , day to day , I really just have to catch my thoughts . So when I'm like having a bad moment and I'm like , oh my gosh , my life is so overwhelming , I'll just take a minute to pause and think , okay , is that true ? And you'll say that a lot Is that true ? And it just gets you to reflect on it .

Michelle Gauthier 22:37

Yes , exactly , and then you can be like , no , it's probably not true , so I'm going to take the time to do something different . Okay , great , I have two last questions for you , which are questions that I ask everybody who comes on the podcast . The first is what's something that you can do to make yourself feel instantly less overwhelmed ?

Angie Moehlmann 23:02

So one thing is to just take five minutes in the morning to write down your schedule and come up with your plan for the day , and I think deciding on three things that are like your top priorities for the day that you want to accomplish will make you feel instantly better .

Michelle Gauthier 23:13

Yes , I totally agree , and the worksheet that Angie was referring to is the morning routine and there's a whole podcast episode on that . I'll link that in the show notes as well . And she tweaked it herself to add in her meals for the day or when she was going to walk . So you can start with it as just a general idea and put your own stuff on there , or you can use it as is . But that is a really easy 5-10 minute thing that you can do . So that's a great one . And the second question is what's something that you consistently do to save time or do less ?

Angie Moehlmann 23:45

Okay . So my thing that I have learned , because for some reason meal planning was so overwhelming for me and all of the things going to the grocery store , all the tasks that surround it , just felt completely overwhelming . So what I do now is I go to chat GPT and I ask it to make five meals for me for the week . I know that two of the meals are going to be eaten out and then the other five are like healthy choices . If I don't like something it suggests , then I'll tweak it and say , okay , I don't like this idea , give me another one .

Angie Moehlmann 24:17

Or if there's certain meats that I want to serve , I'll say , make it with that . Then I ask it to include the recipes and then I'll tell it after it does that . To make a grocery list and all of that literally takes probably less time than I just explained it . And so within two minutes I have my plans for the week of my meals , I have my grocery list , I hop on Walmart , enter those things in and then I go through the pickup line and it's all ready to go , and so that , to me , is just game changing .

Michelle Gauthier 24:49

That is just amazing , I think . If we take that particular example and then even some of the other results that you said , you've gotten like having boundaries with your kids or really any of them , and you just play that out over the course of a week . So if you have all your meals planned and you have all your groceries in the house , think of how much time it saves you every day not to be in that . If I don't have something planned , when it gets to be about three o'clock and I start thinking about the evening , I'm like what am

Michelle Gauthier 25:14

I going to make ? What do I have ? I'm not going to the store , and that's usually when we end up ordering pizza or something .

Angie Moehlmann 25:22

Right , and it leads to the idea of that whole boundary setting thing , because my kids a lot of times are like , oh , can we stop at Chick-fil-A or whatever , and it causes a problem because then it goes into the whole money boundary issue , like all of the things .

Michelle Gauthier 25:39

Yes , yes , exactly . One of the things I loved that you did , too , was to try to prevent that kind of stuff was to have a whole list of snacks that you approved of that are always in your house . So if you don't like what we're having , if you're hungry and you want to order something these are the things that we always have in the house Just go get one of those things , and it's just little things like that that can make your life so much easier . Well , thank you so much for being on . I am so proud of everything that you've done , and you are just the dream in terms of you just say okay , I'm going to change my thoughts on it and I'm going to do it . Like when you said I really want to write a book , in my mind I was like it's as good as done . I just know she's going to nail this , and you did so . We'll link the book in the show notes and link the morning routine . Is there anything else that I didn't ask you that you want to share ?

Angie Moehlmann 26:32

Yeah , I just want to say thank you . I mean , literally , you have changed my life and I love the fact that you offer this podcast to your listeners every week . You're just in my head and I just thank you from the bottom of my heart .

Michelle Gauthier 26:45

Oh , thank you , that is so sweet . Of course , you made all the changes .

Angie Moehlmann 26:50

You

Michelle Gauthier 26:53

Yes , that's right . That's right . Okay , thank you so much . If you're starting to think about 2025 , and I hope you are please know that I am teaching a class , and the class will teach you how to not only appreciate everything you accomplished in 2024 , because often , as women , we like to just discount the accomplishments that we have had and focus on the things we didn't do . So not only will it help you focus on what you have accomplished in 2024 , but it will help you choose and prioritize and break down what you want to work through in 2025 . So join my class . The link is in the show notes . It's a one-hour class , it's your best year , 2025 , and it is only $25 .

Angie Moehlmann 27:42

Click the link to join .

Michelle Gauthier 27:43

Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman Podcast . If you want to learn more about my work , head over to my website at michellegauthier . com . See you next week .