Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing
Are you sick of juggling a million things, and pleasing everyone BUT you?
What if I told you that you could achieve more and find your calm by doing LESS?
In this podcast for accomplished working women, discover where you're going wrong with managing your overwhelm and the exact steps to feel more composed and productive.
Tune in to learn unlikely time management hacks, tips to feel less overwhelmed, and surprising ways to do less with your host Michelle Gauthier, who has over 6 years of experience coaching hundreds of overwhelmed working women.
If you want to to start reclaiming your time, setting better boundaries, and nurturing your mental well-being, you're in the right place.
Get started by listening to fan-favorite episode "The Power of a To-Don't List."
Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing
#121| The One Productivity Hack You’re NOT Using (Stop People Pleasing!): Overwhelm, Productivity, Time Management & People Pleasing
Have you ever found yourself overwhelmed with commitments you didn’t even want to take on in the first place? What if the secret to reclaiming your time and productivity wasn’t another planner or time-management hack—but simply learning how to say no?
If you often feel drained, overcommitted, or stuck in a cycle of doing things for others at the expense of your own priorities, this episode is for you. People pleasing may seem harmless, but it’s likely one of the biggest roadblocks to your productivity and peace of mind.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
✅ How people pleasing secretly kills your productivity (and what to do about it).
✅ A simple decision-making method—the Love and Fit Test—to break the cycle of saying yes too often.
✅ How to say no with confidence, without guilt or awkwardness.
Hit play now and start reclaiming your time and energy by breaking free from the habit of people pleasing!
Featured on the podcast
Ep #61:11 Ways to Say No Effortlessly & Guilt Free, To Stop People Pleasing
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Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast.
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Every time you say yes to something that you don't want to do, you're saying no to something else.
Michelle Gauthier:You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less. I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach. On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences and in each episode, you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease and relaxation to your life.
Michelle Gauthier:Hello friend, if you had to guess at one thing that really keeps you from getting things done, what would that thing be? I will tell you what I think. It is based on my experience in coaching hundreds of women and that answer is people pleasing. We think a lot of times that in order to be productive, we have to have planners and apps and time blocking, and I agree that all those things are important. But if you were able to remove people pleasing, remove the habit, it's just a habit. Sometimes people say I am a people pleaser, but you just have the habit of people pleasing. If you could remove the habit of people pleasing from your life, you cannot imagine how much more time and space you will have in your brain and in your actual time to get things done. So today I'm going to talk to you about how people pleasing secretly kills your productivity, how to do the love and fit test, which is a super easy way to break the cycle of people pleasing, and then how to say no without guilt or even awkwardness. So by the end of this episode, you will have learned all the things that it takes to stop the habit of people pleasing, and I will give you a few very specific steps that you can start, starting today, as soon as you're finished listening to this podcast. I want to tell you right now if people pleasing is something that you really struggle with, and, although you'll listen to this episode and learn from it, if you end up thinking, okay, that's not enough for me. I'm going to need I've got a serious habit of people pleasing and I'm going to need a lot more than that I want to tell you that I do have a spot open for one-on-one coaching right now. If you have been thinking about potentially coaching to stop feeling overwhelmed, to stop people pleasing, to learn how to say no and just to make your whole life feel better, I've got a spot open. If your intuition is telling you that you should reach out to me and learn more about that, please do so. Click on the send me a message link in the show notes. Send me a message and we will figure out a good time for a free call.
Michelle Gauthier:Let's get into it. Okay, let's first start out by talking about how people pleasing secretly kills your productivity, because a lot of times when I start working with a client and they realize that they're a people pleaser, they'll say things like well, I'm just trying to be nice, or I just I like to help others, or I was raised to help others, or whatever it is, and that's okay. You can do all those things without being a people pleaser. The problem is that every time you say yes to something you don't want to do. So let's say, at work they ask you to be in charge of the company picnic. It's got nothing to do with your job, but you're just kind of a social person and you're good at pulling things together. So they ask you to do it and you want to say no, but instead you say yes because you don't want anybody to be upset with you and you know that you could do a really good job at it and you know if someone else does it, it won't be as good as if you do it all those things. So let's say you commit to that.
Michelle Gauthier:I want to emphasize that if you get asked to do the company picnic and it has nothing to do with your job, but it sounds super fun to you and that's something that you absolutely love to do and you say, yes, great. I'm not suggesting that you should never say yes to anything. I'm suggesting that you shouldn't say yes to things that you actually don't want to do. So let's think about how much time that this will take up. You say yes to the company picnic. That's hours and hours of meetings and planning and phone calls and coordinating probably some in the evening because you have to do your real job during the day. Then there's the day of where you have to get there early and recruit your whole family to help you set up and stay until it's over, and just the amount of hours. So let's just conservatively say that that's like 15 to 20 hours extra on top of your job, your family, your house, your kids' sports, everything else that you have going on. So how does that kill your productivity? It's a simple math problem in that case. So there's 15 to 20 hours that you have just dedicated to something that you don't want to do, and by doing that, you've lost 15 to 20 hours where you could be doing all those things I just listed your job, going to your kids' sports practices, I don't don't know. Making dinner for your family, laying on the couch and watching Netflix at night instead of like searching the best parks in the area as an example.
Michelle Gauthier:So every time you do something like this, whether it be that example. Or you take on something extra if your kids on a team and they ask you to be like the team parent and you don't want to do it, or you're always the one who hosts the family holidays and birthdays and events and you don't want to be that person, or maybe you just find that you are constantly checking your phone because you feel the need to immediately respond to other people's texts so that they're not upset with you. That's people pleasing too. Every single time you do something like that, it is a time drain and it's taking time away from where you could, a be relaxing or, b getting something done that you actually want to do or need to do. So even though people pleasing can seem like a harmless habit, it's really taking up a lot of space in your brain and a lot of time. So what to do about this?
Michelle Gauthier:I have a method called the love and fit test, and I've talked about this on other podcast episodes, but what it is is essentially a really simple way to make a decision decision. What I find a lot is that women who are people pleasers and don't know how to say no which are, you know, tied together very closely often say yes before they even stop and evaluate if they want to say yes or no. Just yes is their automatic answer, just like taking a breath. So this love and fit test is a way to train your brain to pause and stop and think about if you actually want to do the thing. So here's what you do.
Michelle Gauthier:If somebody says to you hey, would you like to be in charge of the company picnic? I want you to ask yourself two things. This is the love and fit test. Number one do I absolutely love this idea? Is this something that is exciting to me, and would I do it even if nobody expected me to? So I gave that example at the beginning and said if you're the kind of person where running the company picnic sounds absolutely perfect to you, then great, you'd say yes to this. I would personally say no. And then the second question of the love and fit test is does this fit into the life I'm trying to create? So please note, this isn't just does this fit into my schedule, but does this fit into the overall life that I'm trying to create? I'm always trying to create a life that is free from overwhelm and is not stressful. So for me, for my example do. I absolutely love this idea.
Michelle Gauthier:No.
Michelle Gauthier:Does it fit into the type of life I'm trying to create? No, so that's easy. If it's no for both, then you just say no. And if you're right now thinking, but I don't know how to say no, I'm going to get to that in just a minute. So hold that question. If the answer is yes, for both, so, yes, I absolutely love this idea. And, yes, it fits into the kind of life that I'm trying to create for myself. So maybe you're trying to create a life that is more social, where you're doing more fun things, and this just sounds really fun to you. So if the answers are yes and yes, love it and it fits great, that's a yes, go for it. And then, if there's one yes and one no, that's where you have to pause and just be honest with yourself and decide. So we've got the absolute no and the absolute yes, and then we have kind of this maybe. So let's just talk through that. So let's just say do I absolutely love this idea is a yes, I love event planning. I'm really good at it. I know I'll be able to get it done. It sounds like fun to me to think about fun games that everyone can play at the picnic. And then the second question does it fit into the life that I'm trying to create? I'd have to say no, that isn't, because what I'm trying to do is work just from eight to five and not on weekends, and not do anything extra right now, based on where my family is and where I am. So you've got a yes it sounds like fun, you love the idea and a no to does it fit into the type of life that I'm trying to create? That's when you have to decide. So in that case I would say it's a no, because it depends how dedicated you are to the type of life that you're trying to create. But I would always say to choose that one for sure. Maybe the opposite is true, maybe it doesn't sound like any fun to you and you're a no on the. Do I love this idea? But you're a yes into is this in line with the type of life I'm trying to create? So maybe at work you're trying to get more visibility, or you're trying to spend more time with your co-workers or you're trying to do more fun things. So it's a no, I'm not that excited about it. Yes, it does fit into the type of life I'm trying to create, then you just have to decide. I personally would say that's also a no, but you decide for you. So, again, the main thing to do here is pause before you say anything and feel free to buy yourself some time with that too. If you need to do the love and fit test and you really need a second to think about it which I feel like you should, you would you can always say oh, thanks for thinking about me, I'll need to get back to you on that. It is not an emergency 99.9% of the time. It's not an emergency to get back to someone quickly, and you can always buy yourself some time to do the love and fit test. So let's say you go through it and the answer ends up being a no for you.
Michelle Gauthier:The third thing is how do you say no without the guilt or the awkwardness? Just in general, saying no doesn't mean that you're mean or you're selfish or you're unhelpful. It just means you're clear and clarity is a gift. And thinking about if you know someone who says yes when they mean yes and no when they mean no, what do you think about them? Do you think that those people are mean and selfish and jerks? I don't. I'm thinking of the people in my life who are very straight up and direct and will tell me yes or no, and I am grateful for their clarity, because if they say yes to me about something, I know they really mean it. If they say no to me about something, I know they really mean it. I absolutely love it. I feel like it's very clear. So think about that. What you're doing is you're giving someone a clear answer. Don't judge that it's mean or rude or who else is going to do it, etc. Etc. So you kind of get it set in your mind and remind yourself I'm not mean or selfish or unhelpful, I'm clear. And then you have to just say the word no.
Michelle Gauthier:A couple things about saying no. First of all, you can simply say no, thank you. I have a whole episode that is like 20 different ways to say no. So if you need more ideas, go back and listen to that episode. I'll link it in the show notes. But you can simply say no, thank you. No itself is a complete sentence. You do not have to give explanation. In fact, I think not giving explanation is much better than giving a whole bunch of explanation. So if I were to say no, I don't have the capacity to do that at the moment, but I hope you find somebody great for it.
Michelle Gauthier:Done Instead of no. I'm really trying to spend more time at home with my family and I'm really sorry. My work is really busy right now and I really need to keep my weekends freed up. My kids are doing a bunch of sports and blah, blah, blah. You don't have to justify it. You can say no anytime you want to say no. So, even though it's painful, try to say no politely. No, thank you. However, you want to say it and then just leave it at that. You do not need to give a big, long explanation and just another reminder.
Michelle Gauthier:A lot of times when we say no, we and we're people pleasers we're thinking a lot about what other people are thinking about our response. So if I say no, they're going to think I'm X. I just want to remind you that you can never know what someone else is thinking about you. You can guess, but you can never really know what they're thinking about you. So they might be thinking wow, good for her, she really told me the truth and stood up for herself. Or they might be thinking oh, she's not a team player, why wouldn't she do that? It doesn't really matter what they're thinking, it really doesn't. Just let them think whatever they want to think, not your problem, okay. So, to summarize, if you want to get more time back in your life, a quick way to do that is to stop people pleasing. And to stop people pleasing when someone asks you to do something, use the love and fit test and then communicate no as concisely and clearly as you can, without too much explanation. Give that a try. I would love to hear how it goes. Send me a message and tell me about your successes or troubles in saying no.
Michelle Gauthier:Okay, let's talk about Michelle's do less for more success tip this week. My do less for more success tip comes from my niece Skylar. I learned this from her and what she does on Sundays is she's got like a rolling rack closet thing like you might see in a store. She has that in her room and on Sundays she hangs up what outfit she's gonna wear every day during the week. This was like a good tip when kids were little and I was trying to think about that stuff, but I wouldn't think about that for myself or for she's 18 years old or for you know, an older teen, but I absolutely love that she was doing that.
Michelle Gauthier:Think about that for you and how easy it could be if, while you're putting away your clean laundry, if you just laid out the outfits that you're going to wear for the week. Give it a try and let me know how that works for you. Okay, if this episode resonated with you, I would love for you to pass it on to a friend. And if you want to dive deeper into boundary setting and taking back your time, make sure you're on my email list. This is something that I talk about and will often send out freebies and other tools that you can use to make the most of your time. The link is in the show notes. Have a great week.
Michelle Gauthier:Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast. If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegauthier. com. See you next week.
