Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing

#145| 4 Signs You’re Stuck in People Pleasing Mode & How To Shift Into Self-Respect Fast To Reduce Overwhelm: Overwhelm, Productivity, Time Management & People Pleasing

• Michelle Gauthier | Inspired by Mel Robbins, Jen Sincero, Brene Brown, Glennon Doyle, Emily Ley, Shauna Niequist • Episode 145

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Do you find yourself saying “yes” when you really want to say “no”—even if it’s 9:30 pm and you're in bed?

If you're constantly putting others first, feeling guilty when you set boundaries, or terrified of disappointing people, this episode will hit home. Michelle breaks down how the people-pleasing habit silently fuels burnout and how even high-functioning women unknowingly stay trapped in it.

In this episode, you will:

  • Discover the 4 subtle signs you're stuck in people-pleasing mode (and may not even know it).
  • Understand the root beliefs behind why you prioritize others at the cost of yourself.
  • Learn a simple but powerful tip to begin rewiring your response—starting with one small pause.

Tune in now to start shifting from chronic people-pleasing to confident self-respect—one boundary at a time.


Wondering why you're overwhelmed? Take my "why am I overwhelmed" quiz to find out the source of your overwhelm, and what to do about it.

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Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Worki...

Michelle Gauthier:

It's 9.30 pm, you're in bed reading a book, getting ready to go to sleep, and you hear your phone buzz and you grab it and you see a text that says hey, can you help me with something real quick? You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less. I'm your host, michelle Gothier, a former overwhelmed working woman and current life coach. On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences and in each episode you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease and relaxation to your life. Hi, friend, thanks for joining today. What would your answer be at 9 30 pm, when you're just about to go to bed, if someone texted you hey, can you help me with something real quick? If your answer is, I might hesitate and really not want to, but I would reply, of course, and maybe even get on the phone with someone.

Michelle Gauthier:

In today's episode, here's what we're going to look at Four subtle but powerful signs that you're probably stuck in people-pleasing mode. Then we're going to look at why. What are the deeper beliefs that are driving that people-pleasing behavior? And then I'm going to give you a quick tip that is a great first step to get out of that people-pleasing mode. And notice by the way that I'm referring to it as the people-pleasing habit or being that people-pleasing mode. And notice by the way that I'm referring to it as the people-pleasing habit or being in people-pleasing mode because I don't like the idea that a person is a people-pleaser. It is just a habit. It's a habit that has been learned over time, and the great news about habits is they can be undone. You can get a new habit to become a person who does not people-please. Okay, so let's jump into the signs that you might be stuck in people pleasing.

Michelle Gauthier:

Sign number one is you say yes before even checking in with yourself. I hear this so much from the women who I work with that yes is truly a default and almost like a placeholder. And when your default answer is yes, like a placeholder, and when your default answer is yes, even when it costs you your time, your energy or your peace, you might be in people pleasing mode. This is reminding me of that comedian who used to say you might be a redneck. If this is, you might be a people pleaser. If the thought behind that, that action of just saying yes, could be something like if I say no, they'll think I'm selfish. But remember that yes isn't generosity, it's just fear in disguise. You're afraid that someone's going to think you're selfish or not a team player or not fun, or whatever. It is that you're worrying that they will think about you.

Michelle Gauthier:

Sign number two is you only feel valuable when you're helping others. So if you're not doing something or being productive or doing something for someone else, then you feel unimportant. And the thought behind that one that could be driving that behavior is something like if I'm not useful, I'm not lovable, or if I'm not helping someone, kind of what's left, who am I without that? But just a reminder that your worth was never meant to depend on how much you do for everyone else or what your job is or how much money you make or any of that stuff. Your worth just is You're human, you're alive, You're worthy, you're enough.

Michelle Gauthier:

Sign number three you avoid saying no because you don't want to disappoint anyone. Sign number three you avoid saying no because you don't want to disappoint anyone. You go along with plans you don't want agree to favors you don't have time for, just to keep the peace. The thought behind this one might be they'll be upset if I set a boundary or if I say no. But the truth is, anyone who respects you will respect your no. And I find when I'm interacting with people who are not people pleasers and are good at saying no, I trust them so much because I trust if they say yes they really mean it and I trust if they say no that they really mean it too, and I love that. I love the straightforwardness of that.

Michelle Gauthier:

Sign Number four is you're already overwhelmed but still saying yes to more. So even when you feel stretched too thin, you keep piling it on. The thought behind this one I used to have this thought big time is I should be able to handle it all. We also like to look around at everyone else and perceive that they are doing it all. Let's say you're sitting in the bleachers at a baseball game and there's all these other working moms there and you're like they all have it all together. 's say, you're sitting in the bleachers at a baseball game and there's all these other working moms there and you're like they all have it all together and I am just a disaster. So you keep saying yes to things because you think you should be able to hand it all. I used to love to be seen as the girl who could handle it all. Who knows what people are actually thinking about me, but in my mind I was spending a lot of time trying to get people to think that that is a recipe for burnout. Let me just tell you that for sure.

Michelle Gauthier:

So if any of those four signs, or all of those four signs, resonated with you and you're shaking your head yes, and you're like, oh crap, I'm really doing that. One of those things or all of those things, let's just look at the why behind it. How did you maybe get here? The first thing is we have been taught women specifically have been taught that being nice means being agreeable and selfless and easy and always available. So maybe no one ever sat you down and said that. No one ever did that to me. They didn't sit down and say you have to be agreeable and have a smile on your face and do what other people want you to do. But society kind of teaches us that and I think for generations of women that has been seen as our value. Quote unquote. But really, people pleasing isn't kindness. So we think, like I used to say I know, I'm just nice and I don't want to say no to people. I just want to remind you that people pleasing actually isn't kind and what you're actually trying to do is coming from fear. You're trying to control what someone else thinks about you. So, for example, when I used to be the person who could do it all, I wanted people to think that about me. So I wasn't being nice. I was trying to control the way that they were seeing me so that I felt comfortable. So of course it feels hard to say no. Of course it feels uncomfortable to set boundaries when this is how we were brought up or raised or what society kind of told us to do. But the truth is people pleasing is just a habit and all habits can be unlearned. Just like you can learn a new habit, you can unlearn an old, bad habit.

Michelle Gauthier:

So what to do about ? this Truly getting out of people pleasing, which is something that I work on with every one of my clients? It is a process to understand what is underneath it and what beliefs, like the belief that I used to have about I have to be the person who does absolutely everything for everyone at all times. Until I changed that core belief, I wasn't able to change my people pleasing behavior. So it really is a process to just figure out what's beneath it and then start practicing new actions, start practicing and learning how to say no. So it's not just a quick. Here's one step for you to stop people pleasing. But I will give you one tip that is a great first step in the right direction, and that is anytime someone asks you to do something, start building in the habit just to pause. Just buy yourself enough time to think about it. Say something like thank you for asking me, I'll have to get back to you. Or if it's something via text, just remember oh my gosh, I don't have to immediately respond to a text. I can pause and think about it. This week, the only thing that I want you to try to change is just having that pause. Even if you make a pause and you say yes, even when you want to say no later, it's still a step in the right direction. If you're really sick of being a people pleaser and you are ready to start working on it, I have a one-on-one coaching spot open right now. We can get to work. Get down to those beliefs and how you were socialized. We can work on changing those and then change your behavior and, before you know it, you will be a person who does not have the people pleasing habit. Dm me if you're interested in that spot. I'd love to help you shift from people pleasing to powerful self-respect. Have a great week. Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast. If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegauthier. com. See you next

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