#169| Are You Emotionally Attached to Clutter? Here’s How to Release It For Good for Less Overwhelm: Overwhelm, Productivity, Time Management & People Pleasing

Does getting rid of something a loved one gave you feel like betrayal—even if you’ve never used it once?

If your basement, storage bins, or drawers are filled with sentimental items that bring guilt instead of joy, you’re not alone. This episode breaks down why emotional attachment to “stuff” creates mental clutter, and how outdated beliefs keep overwhelmed working women stuck in cycles of stress.

In this episode, you will:

• Learn the 3 sneaky, guilt-ridden “rules” we all follow about sentimental clutter—and how to rewrite them.
• Discover how to separate memories from material items, and what that shift can do for your peace of mind.
• Hear real-life examples (including what I did with 12 dining chairs that do not match my house at all) to help you reframe, repurpose, or release items—without regret.

If you're ready to clear space in your home and your mind, press play to learn the simple, soul-soothing rules for letting go of sentimental clutter today.

Wondering why you're overwhelmed? Take my "why am I overwhelmed" quiz to find out the source of your overwhelm, and what to do about it.

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Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Worki...

Chapters

• 1:00 Not All Sentimental Items Are Equal
• 2:38 Three Rules for Letting Go
• 6:59 Remaking Items You Love

Transcript

Michelle Gauthier: 0:01

Does the thought of getting rid of something that someone you love gave you make you feel weirdly guilty? You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less. I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach. On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that former overwhelmed working woman and current life coach. On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences, and in each episode you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease and relaxation to your life.

Michelle Gauthier: 0:41

Hi, friend, I think we all have things that we've kept for sentimental reasons I know for sure I do and depending on how much that is, it can be a cause of clutter, even if that clutter is just in your basement storage room, and we all know that physical clutter equals mental clutter and mental clutter equals overwhelm. So today you're going to discover why emotional attachment to items isn't really a reason to keep them, and I'm going to give you four sane, simple, guilt-free rules for letting go of sentimental clutter. And then you sort of have those in-between items that you feel like are too special to toss, but it's not something you really want to use. So I'm going to give you.

Michelle Gauthier: 1:21

The first thing I want to say is that not all sentimental items are equal. So, for example, I have this tiny little delicate tea cup and I love it. It's not my usual style, I don't drink tea, but I love it because it belonged to my Nana and every time I see it I feel warm and loved and connected to her and my cousins. She had this whole set of teacups and they weren't one set. When my grandpa would go on trips, or they would go on trips, she would get one cup and saucer. So none of them match each other, but she gave us each one and so it just makes me feel really loved and connected, even though I don't drink tea. That particular cup is 100% a keeper for me. But not everything sentimental gives us that Nana's teacup feeling. And the truth is I think that's the line that feeling is your compass. We hang on to stuff because we feel like we should.

Michelle Gauthier: 2:17

I know for sure that I used to think if someone made me something by hand, or if someone who I love gave me something, or if someone who I love gave me something that I have to keep it. When I got divorced I was going through basically everything that I owned and deciding what to keep and what to give away. And I was moving into a much smaller house and I really wanted to simplify my life. So I got really serious about figuring out what I wanted to keep and what I didn't. So I realized that I had some unwritten rules for myself and I want to share them with you. The unwritten rules I had for myself were actually not good at all, and when I rewrote them I made a new, good version of them that was actually helpful. So I'm going to share those three rules with you and see if this helps you if you're thinking about cleaning out some of your emotional or sentimental clutter.

Michelle Gauthier: 3:03

So the first rule that I had for myself is if the item is from someone I love, I have to keep it forever. And the rewritten version of that rule was loving a person and loving an item they gave you are two totally different things. So the happy memories that you have with that person will not be enhanced by keeping their tablecloth in a bottom drawer for seven years. Nor will the memories be diminished if you give their tablecloth in a bottom drawer for seven years. Nor will the memories be diminished if you give that tablecloth away and I wrote this one specifically because a great aunt of mine had given me a tablecloth I think the reason why she gave it to me is because she didn't especially like it and she never used it. So it's not like it was even her favorite thing, but I just thought, well, I love her and she gave it to me, so I'm just going to keep it forever. And I kept moving it from house to house, never one time got it out or used it. What is the point of that? And actually I felt really good when I gave it away, because it's like someone else could be using this. Maybe someone else would love this.

Michelle Gauthier: 4:07

The second rule that I had for myself is if the item is handmade by anyone, I have to keep it forever. This one can just be replaced by the revised rule number one, right? So if an item is handmade, rule number one still applies. And rule number one, just to remind you, is loving a person and loving the item they gave. You are two totally different things. Just like you could love an item from someone you dislike, you could love an item from someone you dislike, you can dislike an item from someone you love. They are totally not connected to one another.

Michelle Gauthier: 4:33

And the third unwritten rule that I had for myself is, if the gift giver ever comes to my house, he or she will expect it to be displayed and appreciated. Talk about putting a lot of pressure on myself right To be like ooh, what was that thing? That candle that that person gave me, I should get that out and I should burn that candle if they're coming over. And my new replacement for that rule is a gift is a gift and it should be given with zero strings attached. So your responsibility as the receiver, or my responsibility as receiver, is to thank the person for the gift and appreciate the time they took to select it or buy it or make it for you. End of story. So it could be true that they might expect you to have it and cherish it forever, but that's their expectations and that doesn't have to be your expectations. You can't help what their expectations are. They also might expect that you don't keep it forever or that you don't display it in your house. We really don't know. But just remember that your job is to sincerely thank the gift giver and that's it. And also remember this rule is true when you give gifts. Your job is to happily give a gift with no strings attached. So you can imagine how those rules that I had for myself. If the gift is from someone I love, I have to keep it. If the gift is handmade by anyone, I have to keep it. If the gift giver ever comes to my house, they will expect it to be displayed and appreciated. Imagine how many things that stayed in my house because I had those rules, and now imagine how many things exited my house because I had the new rules and I promise you it felt so good to get rid of so many things.

Michelle Gauthier: 6:15

I didn't give away everything. There were some things that I felt really were important to me. Even though an item is just an item, they felt really important to me. For example, my grandmother gifted me her dining room table and chairs and it was one of her prized possessions. She just absolutely loved it. I had had many a meal growing up, even when I was a little girl, sitting at that table, so it was special to me, but it was completely not my style. The chairs especially. My house is really modern and contemporary and they were very ornate and classic. So when I received them, according to all my old rules. I just put them in my basement storage area and paid movers to move them two or three times.

Michelle Gauthier: 6:59

And, by the way, there were like 12 chairs. It was a lot of chairs and finally, when I revised my rules, I knew I didn't want to give them away. I gave away so many things but I knew I didn't want to give them away. So I thought how could I possibly reuse these, remake these? Could I use them for a different purpose? So it was a set of 12 chairs and I decided to keep two. I offered the other ones to my cousins and my siblings to make sure no one wanted the ones I was giving away. No one did, so I ended up just giving the rest of those chairs away. But I kept the two, like the I think they're called host chairs, the ones that have like the arms on the side, like you'd sit at the head of the table. And I hired a designer to remake them to fit the style of my home, not the wooden part of the chair, but to make some cushions with really modern patterns on them. So it looks kind of cool like a combination of her and me together and I love them. I've used them all over my house and when I see them it makes me happy because it feels like something that I love and something that came from someone I love.

Michelle Gauthier: 8:02

Another way you could do something like this if you have. My sister actually did the same thing. She had a ring that she inherited, but she didn't love the setting, so she used the jewel stone part of it set into a little necklace, and she loves that. You could have furniture painted. I've done that many times. You could frame a quilt square. You could make a shirt into a scarf or a pillow, so there's many ways that you can reuse or change up an item in a way that suits you.

Michelle Gauthier: 8:34

So I think the biggest takeaway from this is if the clutter is causing you a headache which I think clutter always does, even for me, if it's in my basement, in the storage room, I can still feel it down there. If it's giving you a headache or making you feel overwhelmed, I think the biggest thing to remember is that loving a person and loving an item they gave you is not the same thing, and that your memories with that person will not be diminished if you donate an item that they gave you, nor will they be enhanced if you keep that item in your basement storage room for the next 20 years. Reach out to me and send me a message if this has helped you or if you have any questions. I would love to help you think through your own sentimental clutter to reduce your overwhelm. Have a great week. Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast. If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegauthier. com. See you next week.