#172| Why Your Packed Schedule Is a Choice — And How to Choose Yourself Instead for Less Overwhelm: Overwhelm, Productivity, Time Management & People Pleasing

Do you ever wonder why your calendar keeps filling up, no matter how many productivity hacks you try?

In this episode, Michelle reveals the hidden reasons behind your overwhelming schedule — how your thoughts, beliefs, and small decisions are actually driving your busyness. If you’ve ever felt trapped by endless commitments, this conversation will show you a way out.

In this episode, you will:

• Discover why every single thing on your calendar started with a thought and how to spot the ones holding you back.
• Learn how busyness is often a mask for avoiding discomfort — and what to do instead.
• See how your calendar acts as a mirror of your beliefs, and how to reshape it to reflect peace instead of pressure.

Press play now to uncover how to take back control of your time and finally choose calm over chaos.

Featured on the podcast
Sign up for the Declutter Challenge
Podcast Ep #12: How Radical Responsibility Will Significantly Reduce Your Overwhelm

Wondering why you're overwhelmed? Take my "why am I overwhelmed" quiz to find out the source of your overwhelm, and what to do about it.

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Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Worki...

Chapters

• 2:58 Your Schedule Starts with a Thought
• 5:06 Using Busyness to Avoid Discomfort
• 6:25 Your Calendar Reflects Your Beliefs

Transcript

Michelle Gauthier: 0:00

Overwhelm is a choice, and it's a choice that you make every day with your thoughts and your actions.

Michelle Gauthier: 0:10

You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less. I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach. On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences, and in each episode you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease and relaxation to your life.

Michelle Gauthier: 0:37

Hello friend, do you ever look at your calendar and think how did this calendar get this full? Here's the truth that I'm going to tell you today. Your schedule didn't just happen to you. You created it one thought and one decision and one action at a time. In a way, this is sort of hard to hear and in a way, it's really good news because it's all in your control when you listen. Today we're going to talk about how everything on your schedule started with a thought and a decision, how lots of times we are overpacking our schedule because we are familiar with the feeling of being busy not that we love it, but we kind of know it and are used to it and then also talk about how your calendar really reflects your beliefs not the time that you have, but your beliefs.

Michelle Gauthier: 1:27

And I really felt like talking to you guys about this today because it's back to school time where we live in St Louis, and this is a time of seasonal overwhelm, just like the end of school is, and the holiday season is where there are just all these extra things to do, and it's such a good reminder that we are becoming overwhelmed only when we're allowing ourselves to.

Michelle Gauthier: 1:51

Before we jump into all of the details on that. I want to remind you that I am doing a fall declutter challenge. Speaking of overwhelming stuff can overwhelm you so quickly, whether it's too much in your email inbox, too much on your calendar, too much in your closet or your purse or your car or whatever it is. So I'm designing a easy, quick five day challenge where each day, you'll listen to a podcast episode and it will tell you what we're going to focus on for that day. When you join the challenge, you will get a workbook, a beautiful workbook to document all of your progress that goes over the daily lessons for the day, asks you journaling questions and keeps track of your wins. You can also submit questions to me and your wins to me, which I will answer the very next day on the podcast. So it's going to be interactive. There will be prizes and by the end of the week, I guarantee that you will feel so much better than before you started doing the challenge. So come and join me. It's going to be a great time. The link is in the show notes. The cost of this is $17. Okay, let's get back to business.

Michelle Gauthier: 2:58

The first thing I want to talk about today is that everything on your schedule started with a thought and a decision. So if you look at your calendar and there are 10 meetings on it today, or 10 things on it today, you could go to each and every one and say how did this end up on my calendar? So, for example, if I look at my calendar for today, picking up my daughter from golf practice is one of the things that's on my calendar. How did that get on the calendar? Because she made the golf team. I agreed that she could try out for the golf team. I knew that that would involve me picking her up if she made the team. That's how that got on my calendar.

Michelle Gauthier: 3:33

Taking a look at yours, you might see, let's say, a field trip. What's the thought that got you to have that on your calendar? It could be a thought like good moms show up for everything. So I need and you make the decision to do it, even though you have a really busy work week and you maybe don't really want to, or maybe that field trip is on there and you're like, yeah, I just like to do a field trip once a year. This is the one that I'm doing and this is going to be great for me. So those are two totally different thoughts, but each thoughts that got that item on your calendar. So if you feel like you have too many things on your calendar, take a look and see what are the thoughts that I'm thinking that is allowing this to get on my calendar. For example, if somebody let's say one of your clients or customers or co-workers wants to meet with you at 6pm and that's the time that you usually eat dinner with your family, but yet that meeting is on your calendar right now, maybe you had a thought like if I say no, they'll go elsewhere, or if I say no, they'll be upset with me. So you make the decision to say yes, even though it cuts into dinner with your family. Noticing what you're thinking that is allowing things to get on your calendar is very insightful. So as you start going throughout this new week, just notice how did this meeting get on my calendar, what were my thoughts, what was the action that I took to get it here? Taking radical responsibility. If you don't know what I mean by radical responsibility, there's a whole episode on that and we'll link that in the show notes. But taking radical responsibility for your decision is so helpful.

Michelle Gauthier: 5:06

The second reason why our calendar ends up being overly busy is that you use busyness to avoid discomfort. This one cuts me deep. Being busy often feels easier than the discomfort of saying no. So you don't have to feel guilty or awkward or selfish or worry that people won't like you or that people might think you're lazy. So you just go ahead and fill up your calendar and pretend that you're superwoman and that you can do all of the things. It's uncomfortable to be busy, but it's less uncomfortable than facing saying no or thinking about how people won't like you. Although I kind of debate that, I think it's really important to recognize that those are two uncomfortable situations. And which is worse? When push came to shove, for me, it was worse to be jam-packed and super busy all the time than the discomfort of saying no. You're just weighing the discomfort. Which one is getting you closer to living the kind of life that you want to have? Which version of discomfort is better that you want to have? Which version of discomfort is better? And if you need any help on learning how to say no, learning how to stop people pleasing, learning how to set boundaries there are tons of episodes on this podcast. Set up a one on one meeting with me to learn about coaching with me. That is exactly what I do.

Michelle Gauthier: 6:25

And the third reason why overwhelm is a choice that you're making is because your calendar reflects your beliefs. And that might sound kind of weird, but your calendar is more than logistics. It's a mirror of your belief system. So whatever you believe to be true about yourself and others and your worth is playing out in your weekly calendar.

Michelle Gauthier: 6:45

Funny story. So my handsome man friend, I was telling him on the way home from dinner one night I had a really busy day that ended up with being at my daughter's new school for a back to school parent night, and it was definitely an item that was on my calendar. I did not feel like going, but I really wanted to go because I wanted the information. So we decided we were going to meet up for dinner afterwards. So we met up and had dinner and a glass of wine. And on the way home I said I just really had almost no breaks today. I had lots of client meetings, I had a doctor's appointment for myself, I had to help my son with something, then I had to go to this meeting for my daughter. It was just a really busy day.

Michelle Gauthier: 7:23

And he said and how did that happen that you accepted so many things on one day? How dare you turn that around on me? I was like, well, because I really felt like I just needed to do all those things today. And he's like, oh, and what does that mean about you that you really feel like you need to do all those things in one day? Because he was calling me out hard core. He's not a therapist or a life coach, by the way, this is just the way he is. He's deep.

Michelle Gauthier: 7:52

Anyway, what he was gently saying to me is are you trying to do as many things as possible in a day because it makes you feel like you're enough or it makes you feel like you're worthy? And it was a great question and it really made me pause because that's what I used to do in my old life, all the time, 24/7. That's what I was doing. And I realized that the reason why that day had worn me out so much is because I did have a day that was kind of like that day had worn me out so much is because I did have a day that was kind of like that. So it was a really good realization and it made me remember that my belief what used to be my belief is I'm only as valuable as the amount of work that I do in a day, did drive that one day doesn't drive my life, but it drove that one day and it helped me refocus for the next week to be like okay, I value rest. I get a lot of things done in a week. I don't need to have a jam-packed calendar. I had to, like, say my new beliefs out loud in order to create my calendar from that.

Michelle Gauthier: 8:49

The good news is you don't need a new time blocking system. You just need to look and identify what's really going on behind the appointments on your calendar. What are the thoughts you're thinking? What are the feelings you're trying to avoid? What are the beliefs that are making you book yourself and overbook yourself? Because as long as you believe that your worth is tied to your output or your helpfulness or your availability, your calendar will always be full, but not in a good way.

Michelle Gauthier: 9:19

Okay, friends, that's it for today. Overwhelm isn't a mystery. It's the result of a thousand small choices rooted in thoughts that you maybe have never questioned before. If you want to start questioning those and getting down to the thoughts and beliefs and actions like people pleasing that you're taking. Reach out to me, set up a one-on-one consultation with me to learn more about coaching. And while you're there in the show notes, don't forget to sign up for the declutter challenge. It's going to be great. Thanks for listening.

Michelle Gauthier: 9:54

Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast. If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegauthier. com. See you next week.