#199| A To-Don't List Can Help You Ditch Chaos and Overwhelm — Here's How: Overwhelm, Productivity, Time Management & People Pleasing

Are you exhausted from trying to “do it all” and wondering why life still feels chaotic no matter how hard you work?

In this episode, you’ll hear how my former client Amanda, a full-time realtor, mom of two, and former perfectionist, realized she didn’t need more hours, better organization, or 4 a.m. wake-ups—she just needed a new way to think about her time, boundaries, and emotional management. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, stuck in survival mode, or convinced that chaos is simply “how life is,” this conversation is going to feel wonderfully familiar and incredibly freeing.

In this episode:

• You’ll learn how a to-don’t list can instantly relieve pressure and help you take back control of your schedule.
• You’ll hear how letting go of perfectionism frees up mental energy and stops the burnout cycle.
• You’ll discover practical tools—from visualization to boundaries to outsourcing—that make daily life feel lighter, calmer, and more manageable.

Press play now to learn simple, life-changing strategies that will help you feel more grounded, less overwhelmed, and fully in control of your day.

Featured on the podcast
Check out Amanda's podcast, Behind the White Coat

Wondering why you're overwhelmed? Take my "why am I overwhelmed" quiz to find out the source of your overwhelm, and what to do about it.

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Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Worki...

Chapters

• 2:54 Meet Amanda And Her Overwhelm
• 4:35 First Wins And Making A Plan
• 5:12 Perfectionism
• 9:23 The To-Don’t List
• 11:26 Feeling Feelings

Transcript

Michelle Gauthier: 0:00

You know that feeling when you're spinning all the plates, work, home, kids, meals, errands, and that everything is just about to fall apart.

Michelle Gauthier: 0:12

You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less. I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach. On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's Working Woman experiences. And in each episode, you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease, and relaxation to your life.

Michelle Gauthier: 0:39

Hi, friends. Thanks for joining today. Today I'm joined by my former client Amanda. She is a full-time realtor in Nashville, a mom of two, and the host of her very own podcast called Behind the White Coat. Amanda came to me exhausted and overwhelmed, and most problematically believed that life was just supposed to be this way. But today you're going to hear what happened. Instead of that, you will learn how she went from feeling constantly overwhelmed to calmly in control without quitting her job or waking up at 4 a.m. The surprising power of a to don't list, because sometimes the things we choose not to do can really be life-changing. And then why perfectionism was draining her energy and how she learned to let go without lowering her standards. I feel like her story is super relatable. Lots of people who I work with come to me with these same kinds of problems and feelings. And so I thought it would be a great reminder to each of you that you really don't have to do more to feel better. Sometimes you just need a new way to think about it.

Michelle Gauthier: 1:39

Before we dive into this conversation with Amanda, I wanted to tell you about two things that are coming up. The first is Black Friday. I'm going to be doing a Black Friday special. If you've been around a while, you know that every year in January, I do a class called Your Best Year 2026. Well, it's not always called 2026, but you know what I mean. And that class helps you set up your year with goals, intentions, a word of the year, etc. And I'm going to be selling that on Black Friday along with an accountability group that goes for the entire year. So you can have your entire best year of 2026. It's a monthly group coaching, and you even have the option to add on one-on-one coaching sessions. So if you've been thinking about dipping your toes in the water of working with me, look out for Black Friday because you're going to have a great chance to do that and really make a difference in your 2026, and it's going to be at a huge discount. So watch out for that. Okay, let's jump into this conversation with Amanda.

Michelle Gauthier: 2:40

Amanda, thank you so much for being willing to come on the podcast and tell everyone about your experience. Tell us how you felt before coaching and kind of why you decided to work with a coach in general.

Amanda Baron: 2:53

Yeah. Thank you for having me here. I'm excited to share with you and your listeners. So I felt just like a constant chaos that I was coordinating this chaotic life and this was just how it was always going to be. As far as working full time, my husband working all the time. I had two kids in two different directions, two different schools, and kind of spinning my wheels and trying to just figure it out. You know, I think just like all of us are, but I thought, okay, if I was more organized, if I worked more hours, if I got up earlier, just all the things and was kind of burning the candle at both ends.

Michelle Gauthier: 3:35

Yes. And I think it's important to note too that your job, your full-time job is to sell homes, which doesn't really have hours necessarily. You're not working like a nine to five type job. And that your spouse has a job where he works a lot of hours and is on call and things like that sometimes. So you're doing a vast majority of like the meal preparation and those kinds, even though he's helpful, great guy, you're still doing a lot of the stuff at home.

Amanda Baron: 4:03

He's not home very often and having to do most of the home management stuff and still have a life outside of work and one that you enjoy and trying to bring in boundaries and all the things.

Michelle Gauthier: 4:16

Yeah. Yes. Okay. So then once we got into coaching, how did you know that it was working? Like where did you see improvements or when did you start to feel a little bit better?

Amanda Baron: 4:28

Well, from our very first call, I felt a million times better. When your voice is just so calming.

Michelle Gauthier: 4:34

Oh my gosh. Thank you.

Amanda Baron: 4:35

T So I felt better immediately. But after honestly, the first coaching session, because it was nice to just get it off my chest. And then it was like, okay, let's come up with a plan. Like you were ready to come up with a plan. We were ready to attack it. And just bit by bit, or coaching session by coaching session, we devised kind of an order of priorities and how we were going to work those tips and implement the strategies that you were giving me.

Michelle Gauthier: 5:05

So what was the number one? What was first on that list of priorities? What did you have to attack first?

Amanda Baron: 5:12

Oh gosh. I had I had a lot of things that I needed to work on, but what you helped me really reflect on was a lot of what I was putting on myself. So I am this perfectionist, which as we know, nothing ever is perfect. But why I was creating this for myself and these feelings for myself, and then kind of realizing, hey, it it's okay to not have a hundred things on my list. Let's get rid of these non-important ones that I felt like were just at the very top of my list. But once I really started to look at them, they were not nearly as important as I thought. And we dwindled it down to, okay, these top 10 things are what I need to focus on today. And then it made things much more doable and in the bite-sized chunks where I didn't feel quite so overwhelmed.

Michelle Gauthier: 6:02

Yes, that's so great. And I think your tendency to be a perfectionist has probably helped you do really high quality work, but it's impossible for anyone to do that perfectionist, high-quality work 100% of the time without losing their mind. It's too much for any mere mortal to handle. So I think that's great if you could gently realize that about yourself. And then the other thing is like we would be talking about, say, how you onboard a new client or when you were starting your podcast or, you know, any of those things, and you would have thoughts like, I don't know what I'm doing, and I'm not organized on this at all. And I'd say, Okay, well, tell me what you've got. And you've got like everything, you know, like your brain would always tell you, I don't know what to do, and I don't know what I'm doing. And then you would have the whole entire thing laid out. I'm like, okay, so that's basically all planned and done.

Amanda Baron: 6:52

Right, right. Yeah. No, you definitely helped me visualize that and and be able to see that it doesn't have to be perfect to actually be okay and to to just kind of put it out there and then it kind of evolves over time. But a lot of times I was one of those where it's just, what is it, paralysis by analysis, where I didn't make any decisions and then that just increased my anxiety, where us talking about it made me realize I do have a lot of this mapped out. And it's okay to not have it a hundred percent figured out.

Michelle Gauthier: 7:24

Yes, absolutely. Another thing I think back on too is how many things that you we talked about and you just cross off your list entirely. Just parts of your job that you didn't enjoy doing or things where you were going above and beyond, and you're like, I don't even like it. Because going above and beyond when it's something that you love is one thing, but when you don't even like it, it's just putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. So I think every time we scratch something off the list, like entirely and forever, was a huge win too.

Amanda Baron: 7:55

It was, and I felt instantly better because that's something that I didn't really want to do or didn't enjoy doing. I kept moving it down on my to-do list, and then it created more anxiety as my to-do list grew, looking at the long list of things, but also things I didn't want to do. And then you helped me to basically visualize okay, what's gonna happen if you don't do this? And it was like, well, nothing really. It it was just this thought, this story, again, that I created in my mind, and it was very freeing to just let it go.

Michelle Gauthier: 8:28

Okay, good. That's a great example. What would you say? This is actually a great question for you specifically, because we uh finished coaching like a year ago. Yeah, I don't remember the exact date, but it's been a while. So what was the best thing you learned in coaching or something that you continue to use even now?

Amanda Baron: 8:48

So one of my favorite things, well, there's actually two. Two of my favorite things that I still use to this day was, you know, I love my morning cup of coffee outside, and you taught me to visualize, visualize what your day looks like today, and then also visualize what it would look like in a month from now or two months from now. And I still to this day do that. I love to do that in the morning to kind of set the tone for the day, but then also visualize a few goals and how I'm gonna get there. So that has been huge for me. And then my to-don't list that you taught me. And sometimes I'm not perfect at it, and sometimes the list changes depending on my season of life, but that to- don't list is just as important as your to-do list.

Michelle Gauthier: 9:37

Yes. Oh my gosh. Can you think of anything that's on your to-don't list right now that you could share as an example for people?

Amanda Baron: 9:44

So going back to what you were talking about with being in real estate, a lot of times those boundary lines get blurred. So I've been working really hard on trying to network on Sundays. Sometimes you have to give a little bit, especially for out-of-town clients, but having a plan implemented already, if I do have an out-of-town client coming. So I've got other agents that help me in outsource, and then trying to not work past six o'clock.

Michelle Gauthier: 10:14

Okay, that's great. I think that's great. And the great thing about having a to-don't list is you don't have to evaluate every time. Every time somebody asks you, can we go see houses on Sunday? You're like, ah, I don't do that. And because it's your list, you can decide from time to time to make an exception. And I think it's so much more powerful to do it that way and say, This is on my to-don't list, but I'm choosing to do it because whatever the reason is, and it's just this one time, and then I'm gonna go back to that. So I think it's empowering either way, even if you decide to go ahead and do it. Sometimes for me, just working on Saturday for like two hours, working on the weekends on my to-don't list too, but sometimes it makes me feel better than if I had a whole day to not work. So you just have to figure it out sometimes.

Amanda Baron: 11:00

I agree. It helps with the whole decision fatigue.

Michelle Gauthier: 11:04

Yeah, exactly. You just it's just off the list. Okay, what was your favorite thing about coaching?

Amanda Baron: 11:11

I looked forward to it every week. I think one, it was just time that I set aside for myself, strictly just to work on myself and the things that I needed. And I feel like we don't get enough of that. So I loved that. And then the various different tools that you taught me to implement, but also to really sit in the feelings that I'm having and kind of feel those, recognize those, and then decide how we're moving forward from that. And that taught me a lot because a lot of times I would just say, I'll figure this out, I always do, I'll get through this, and not really taking a second to feel those feelings, acknowledge those feelings, and then move on. And sometimes I feel like those feelings are what affect you over and over and over again. And when I finally would recognize them, you instantly felt better about whatever was making you feel that way. Or you taught me, okay, well, how do we remove what's making you feel that way? And so I loved, loved those sessions with you. And I felt like when I walked away every single week, I felt so much lighter and I had a plan of action.

Michelle Gauthier: 12:29

Oh, that's awesome. I'm so glad. Thank you. That makes me so happy to hear that answer. I totally agree with you on feelings. I used to say, like, I don't have time to be sad, or that pisses me off, but I can't be mad about it. I'm way too busy for such things, which is so silly. But all that does is just pushes them down to the bottom of your guts and then they come back up and they push them down and they come back up. Yes, exactly. So it's like, go ahead and just cry and be sad and see how that makes you feel because you'll feel a lot more relief if you can do that, but it's not efficient. And when something's not efficient, it's like, I don't have time for that. But we do either you have time for it or your body will make time for it eventually.

Amanda Baron: 13:10

So true. We had many crying sessions, me crying and you listening, and it was so cathartic for me and not something that I typically do. So, yes, I would say those weekly sessions were huge for me.

Michelle Gauthier: 13:26

Good, good. I'm so glad. So, how is your life different now than it was before?

Amanda Baron: 13:32

Yeah, so I think, like I said, the tools you taught me, I still implement every single day. And I'm not perfect at it by any means, but I do feel like I've slowed down a bit. I could definitely use more of it, but slowing down to do some of these things that you taught me, the visualization, having the boundaries, the to-done list, implementing all of those so that way you are productive, you are feeling better when you are in these situations that cause these anxieties, that cause these past issues that we worked through. And so I feel like I definitely have slowed down a bit. I am still a work in progress for sure, but I think that's helped me too.

Michelle Gauthier: 14:19

Yes, aren't we all right? And Amanda and I were just catching up before I started recording and we were talking about back to school and how that just throws you off your game and it can feel super overwhelming. I was overwhelmed, be the host of Overwhelmed Working Woman, felt overwhelmed for part of that time. So the goal isn't necessarily to say I'm never overwhelmed again. I mean, that'd be fantastic. I've never seen that actually happen because life stays the same. Like you're still a mom of two kids, you're still a realtor, you still have a spouse who works a lot of hours. So there will always be the opportunity. But the difference that I'm hearing you say is like having the tools and knowing what to do. So knowing I feel so overwhelmed now, and I also have this bag of tools that I can get out and use. And in times of stress, it's normal to go back to those old behaviors or ways that you would handle things. And then we just have to catch ourselves and then, you know, think, okay, I need to visualize having a good day. I need to double check that I'm sticking with all my boundaries, those kinds of things.

Amanda Baron: 15:21

Yeah, and knowing you can do it. So having those bags of tools and and tricks that you taught us, I also think helps with our confidence. So I've dealt with this before, I know how to deal with this. Like I said, still work in progress, but having the confidence to put those where they belong, to implement them was huge for me.

Michelle Gauthier: 15:41

Yes. And I think at the beginning you said when I asked how you felt before, you said, well, I just felt like life was crazy and chaotic, and that's how it was always going to be. And I think if we can remove the last part of that's how it's always going to be, then coaching has been a success. Because it's like life still throws us a lot of chaotic situations, but knowing what to do with it is really the difference.

Amanda Baron: 16:03

I totally agree.

Michelle Gauthier: 16:04

Yes. Okay, now I want to ask you the questions that I ask everyone who comes on the podcast. Number one is what's something you do to make yourself feel less overwhelmed? Just like a quick stress reliever.

Amanda Baron: 16:16

Definitely walking for me is huge. I love to put on podcast books, music, and love to walk. That's a quick stress stress reliever. And then you also taught me to outsource things. So I'm a big outsourcer now, which helps relieve a lot of stress.

Michelle Gauthier: 16:33

That's good. First, it creates stress, right? When you're giving away tasks and then eventually it relieves stress. It's a game changer. Yes. And then the second question is what's something you consistently do to save time or do less?

Amanda Baron: 16:47

So I would say I'm becoming very good at the outsourcing. I am a big outsourcer now on ordering my groceries. You taught me that. So that's a big game changer for me. And then just outsourcing all the things that I either am not good at or don't want to do. And it has given me so much more time and joy back into my life.

Michelle Gauthier: 17:08

That is amazing. I feel like perfectionism does not love outsourcing because that means the person has to do it exactly perfectly or it's just not gonna work. And so you have to let go of some of that in order to have somebody else do it, which isn't always easy, but I really think it's worth it.

Amanda Baron: 17:26

I completely agree. And having it done is so much better than waiting for you to have the perfect time to get it done perfectly.

Michelle Gauthier: 17:33

Yes. Yeah, that's such a great point. Yes. Amen to that. Amen. Well, I know one of the things that we worked together on was you creating your very own podcast, which was actually something near and dear to my heart, not just because you were my client, but tell us about the podcast and how that's going and where people can find it if they want to listen.

Amanda Baron: 17:53

Yes. Well, thanks to you, we got it all mapped out and you helped me put it in motion. And I'm ever so grateful. So it is called Behind the White Coat, and it's basically anywhere you can find podcasts, and it is for physician spouses, and it's kind of like a support group meets advice column. So all the things I wish somebody could have taught me being married to a physician, and sometimes it's just me on there giving my personal experience or advice. And then sometimes we'll bring in some experts that have a lot of great tips and tricks in specific areas of expertise. And it comes out every single week, every Monday, and it's been really fun.

Michelle Gauthier: 18:38

Yeah, that's so great. And so one of the things Amanda does is helps families relocate to Nashville for if they're gonna do if one of the spouses or both of the spouses are physicians and they're gonna do some training there, or they're getting a new job there, or whatever it is. So this is a great resource for anybody who's married to a physician, even if you're not moving to Nashville, although that does sound really fun. It's a cool city, but she's great at helping you think through life as a physician spouse, which I also used to be, Amanda, and I have that in common. And it was kind of like just figuring out as you go along. So I'm so grateful for all the people who get to listen to your podcast and not go in thinking, what am I supposed to be doing here? And why is my life so crazy? Because my spouse is at work 24-7.

Amanda Baron: 19:25

Yes, yes. It is nice to have the extra support and know that you're not in this alone. These feelings are okay to have, and you know, it's just a safe place.

Michelle Gauthier: 19:34

Yes, yes, it's a great podcast. I've definitely listened to it and I love it. So I'm impressed that you had the time to do that passion project on top of the busy life that you already lead. So great job on pulling that off with being overwhelmed as little as possible.

Amanda Baron: 19:52

I appreciate that. And a lot of that goes to you for helping me map all that out. So thank you.

Michelle Gauthier: 19:57

I'm so glad. We'll put the link in the show notes. And if you or somebody you know is married to a physician or is a physician, send this podcast their way.

Amanda Baron: 20:06

Thank you.

Michelle Gauthier: 20:12

Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast. If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegauthier.com. See you next week.