#202| Why Hoping for a Perfect Holiday Is a Bad Idea (Unpopular Take): Overwhelm, Productivity, Time Management & People Pleasing

Are your holiday expectations secretly setting you up for stress, disappointment, and emotional overload?

If you’ve ever walked into Thanksgiving hoping for perfect behavior, perfect food, and perfectly peaceful family interactions—only to end the day exhausted—you’re not alone. This episode shows you how unrealistic expectations quietly amplify stress and how a simple mindset shift can make your entire holiday calmer and easier.

In this episode, you will:

• Learn the mindset tool that instantly reduces frustration and emotional reactivity on big family days.
• Discover how to predict and prepare for real-life holiday dynamics so nothing catches you off guard.
• Understand how to protect your energy by replacing perfectionistic expectations with reality-based ones.

Press play to learn the simple mental reset that will help you stay grounded, calm, and emotionally steady throughout your entire holiday.

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Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Worki...

Chapters

• 0:54 The Core Tool: Lower Expectations
• 2:16 Put on Your Raincoat
• 4:38 Black Friday Offer

Transcript

Michelle Gauthier: 0:00

It's like putting on your raincoat when you see the clouds, not because you want it to rain, but because you're smart enough to plan ahead for it. You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less. I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach. On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's Working Woman experiences. And in each episode, you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease, and relaxation to your life. Happy Thanksgiving to everybody celebrating here in the U.S. If you are hosting 12 people or showing up with a store-bought pie or hiding from your in-laws in the laundry room, this episode is for you. I have one solid tip for you that can make your Thanksgiving day smoother, calmer, and less emotionally draining. And if you are not in the US and you don't celebrate Thanksgiving, this is still a great tip that you can use on any old day of life, and especially when you're getting together with a whole bunch of people. So that one tip is lower your expectations to match reality. This is such a simple tip, but it can literally change your entire day. So you might go into Thanksgiving thinking everyone will be grateful and loving and emotionally mature, and nobody's going to be judgmental and all the food's going to be great and all the kids are going to be well behaved. Now we know that that is not going to happen, but there's something that happens in our mind where despite what we know as reality, for example, you could look at last year's Thanksgiving, and maybe that could be a predictor for this year's Thanksgiving. But somehow in our mind we always get these high expectations that everything is just going to be stress-free and easy. So the goal of this tool is to lower your expectations, not because you're giving up or thinking negatively, but just accepting reality ahead of time so that you're not surprised and resentful all day. It's like a kindness to yourself, a way to let yourself off the hook. So instead of thinking some version of today's going to be perfect, think instead, this is probably going to be chaotic, but I can handle that. It's like putting on your raincoat when you see the clouds, not because you want it to rain, but because you're smart enough to plan ahead for it. So think about this as putting on your raincoat. Here are some of the expectations that I think our brains offer on big days where everyone's getting together for a holiday, like Thanksgiving. Everyone will get along and be kind to each other, even if you have in the past experienced this not being true. And I think a good expectation to have is someone will definitely say something mildly offensive. And I'll nod and change the subject or just go refill my drink or what however I want to react to that. And that way, when the mildly offensive thing comes out, you don't have to be upset about it. You're like, oh, okay, yeah, I was right on that. In fact, sometimes it can be fun to play a little game inside your own mind that you try to predict what's going to happen in reality. And when it happens, you give yourself a point. It just gamifies and makes it kind of a funny experience that you're good at guessing what will really happen instead of having high expectations. If I'm the host and I don't check my expectation, it will be like dinner will be hot and on time and it will be perfect and everybody will love it. There's no way that's gonna happen, no matter where you're eating. Like something will be cold or late or somebody forgot to bring something, and we'll all survive anyway. So have that as your expectation. My kids are older now, but when they were little, I used to always think, well, they know it's a big day and they're all dressed up nice, and so they'll probably be really good today. Nope. Nope. A realistic expectation is that little kids will be kids, they'll be like overstimulated and asking for snacks five minutes after the Thanksgiving dinner because I didn't eat anything but the rolls. Just be really realistic about how the kids will probably act today, especially if you have littler kids. And then sometimes we get the idea because Thanksgiving is a holiday, that you'll feel rested and relaxed. Maybe you will. That would be great. But a more realistic expectation is I might feel stretched or tired or peopled out by 4 p.m. And that's totally normal for the holidays. And by the way, as a bonus, if you do have that expectation and then you do end up feeling relaxed all day, great. You can be wrong about your expectation, and then nothing is lost.

Michelle Gauthier: 4:38

By the way, I want to remind you if you have not listened to the episode from Monday yet, episode 201, I mentioned on there that my Black Friday offer comes out tomorrow. Unless you're a podcast listener, podcast listeners get early access. You can purchase the Black Friday offer today. This is the only time I ever discount my coaching. And the Black Friday offer this year is the your best year group for all of 2026. Click on the link in the show notes to get all of the details. And listen to Monday's episode if you want to know even more. I'd love to have you.

Michelle Gauthier: 5:14

So as you're going into your Thanksgiving day today, think about what you want your expectations to be. Think about if you were going to win $100, if what you predicted as reality and what really is reality match up and try to have very realistic expectations of what the day will bring and just enjoy it for what it is. That'll give you just permission to kind of laugh and to enjoy the things about the day that are good. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. You got this. Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast. If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at MichelleGauthier.com. See you next week.