#206| How to Break the Hustle Habit by Choosing Presence Over Perfection: Overwhelm, Productivity, Time Management & People Pleasing

Are you exhausted from trying to keep up with a life that looks good on the outside but feels overwhelming on the inside?

So many women silently battle the pressure to achieve, overperform, and stay constantly available—yet still wonder why they feel disconnected, frantic, or numb. This episode unpacks the powerful lessons from Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist and shows how slowing down can restore presence, peace, and your true sense of self.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

•  Why your accomplishments have nothing to do with your enoughness
•  How saying “sacred no’s” becomes the doorway to presence and peace
•  What real rest looks like—and why fake rest keeps you exhausted and disconnected

Press play now to learn simple, life-changing shifts that help you reconnect with yourself and create a life that finally feels peaceful.

Featured on the podcast
Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist 

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Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Worki...

Chapters

• 2:27 This Book Hit Me Hard
• 4:42 Addiction To Doing
• 6:02 Sacred Nos And The Love-Fit Test
• 7:04 Slow Down

Transcript

Michelle Gauthier: 0:00

You are not your accomplishments.

Michelle Gauthier: 0:06

You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less. I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach. On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences. And in each episode, you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease, and relaxation to your life.

Michelle Gauthier: 0:33

Hi, friend. Thank you so much for joining today. Today we are going to be talking about the book Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist. And I'm going to share some of her best tips for creating a life where you feel like you can be present and calm. I first want to tell you though that this book, when I read it, wrecked me. You know, sometimes you read a book and you're like, oh, that was good. And take some things from it. This book was like, she's looking into my soul. She sees my soul. I don't like my soul right now. It was at a time when I just did not know what to do to change my life. And so this book was very instrumental and it has a big effect on how I coach my clients today. It is a great book. Whether you decide to read it or not, listening to today's podcast will give you some super helpful tips, which is what I always aim to provide when I am doing an episode for you.

Michelle Gauthier: 1:24

Before I jump into the book, I want to remind you that since it's December and we're coming up fast on the new year, that this is a great time to start one-on-one coaching. And I have a one spot open for one-on-one coaching right now. If you have been interested in doing coaching with me and you think maybe that spot that's open is yours, set up a time to talk to me. It is a free consultation, no pressure. You'll tell me what's going on with you. I'll explain what we do in coaching. And maybe you can get started before the year even ends.

Michelle Gauthier: 1:57

Okay, let's jump into this book. You know, I've chosen about 10 of my favorite books to do these reviews on. And I have to say it's a lot harder than I thought it was going to be to do these reviews because it's hard to do justice to an excellent book in six to ten minutes. So I'm giving you the high-level stuff and some hopefully great takeaways that you can take away, even if you never read the book, you will be able to know if you should read the book or listen to the book or however you prefer to consume books or not. So I first want to start by sharing with you these two paragraphs that are at the beginning of the book where I was like, oh my, she's seeing into my soul. At the beginning of the book, she's married, she's got little kids, she's an author, she's written books, she does a lot of things with her family, she's involved with our church. So she's a person who's running around doing a million things all the time. And so she says, Towards the beginning of the book, I've always given my best energy to things outside myself, believing that I'd be fine, that I was a workhorse, that I didn't need special treatment or babying, or heaven help me, self-care. Self-care was for the fragile, the special, the dainty. I was a linebacker, a utility player, a worker be. I ate on the run, slept in my clothes, worshipped at the altar of my to-do list. Ouch. Ignored the crying out of my body and soul like they were nothing more than the buzz of pesky mosquitoes. You guys have maybe heard me say this before, but I went for years without crying or seemingly getting upset about anything because this is exactly what I was doing. Hand me everything, I will handle it. I don't need to take care of myself. I'm just different. I can just do everything without any type of break. And that is how she felt when she started this journey. And what she says by the end is now I know the best thing I can offer the world is not my force or energy, but a well-tended spirit, a wise and brave soul. My regrets are how many years I bruised people with my fragmented anxious presence, how many moments of connection I missed, too busy, too tired, too frantic, and strung out on the drug of efficiency. That paragraph could just almost make me cry, even right now. But now we know there's a better way. You don't have to damage your body and your soul and the people you love most in order to get done what you think you have to get done.

Michelle Gauthier: 4:24

So the whole premise of the book is how she got from A to B, how she got from being the person who was a workhorse and a linebacker and just go, go, go all the time to being a person who could be present and peaceful and really enjoy her family and her work.

Michelle Gauthier: 4:42

So the biggest lessons that she teaches in this book are number one, you are not your accomplishments, and that your enoughness is not created by the job you have or how tidy your house is or anything that has to do with things that you do. She talks about how we become addicted to this behavior of just doing, doing, doing, and she talks about it like a drug. I'm gonna read directly from the book again. You can make a drug, a way to anesthesize yourself out of anything. Working out, binge watching TV, working, having sex, shopping, volunteering, cleaning, dieting, any of those things can keep you from feeling pain for a while. That's what drugs do. And use like a drug over time, shopping or TV or work or whatever will make you feel less and less able to connect with the things that matter, like your own heart and the people you love. That's another thing drugs do. They isolate you. So if you feel like you're a person who is addicted to the drug of accomplishments and doing, this might be a great book for you to check out. We really do live in a culture that rewards and glamorizes hustle, but this book reminds us that peace doesn't come from proving, it comes from pausing and choosing yourself and really getting to know yourself.

Michelle Gauthier: 6:01

Takeaway number two is saying no is holy. She calls them sacred no's. Saying no to things, even good things, so that you can say yes to the right things. Because when we say yes to everything, we're actually saying no to ourselves and our families and our souls. Because you just cannot live a meaningful life if you're available to everyone all the time. It's not selfish, it's just wise. And if you've been listening to the podcast for a while, you know that I use a love and fit test to check to see when to say yes or no. So the love part is do I absolutely love this idea? And the fit part is, does this fit into the type of life that I am trying to create? So that means sometimes you can really love the idea of doing something. But if you've already got too much going on, probably does not fit into the type of life that you're trying to create. So she talks a lot about saying no and how saying no is what really enables the slowing down in order to get to that peaceful and present state.

Michelle Gauthier: 7:04

And her third takeaway is that you have to, in order to get better from this, that you have to be able to be slow and sit in the stillness, and that slowness isn't laziness, it's wisdom. And she calls her what she used to do fake rest. Like she would put on pajamas, but then she would, you know, clean up all of her emails and order Christmas presents and clean out a closet, just real sneaky like. And how it was so hard for her to justify resting and that she had to learn that the way to get better and to get reconnected to who she really is was to be able to sit in silence. And when you're in the quiet, you start to hear your own voice again. Try this this week. Just try a minute of driving in your car with absolutely no sound on, or just sitting on your couch without anything else for two minutes and just see how it feels and how comfortable or uncomfortable you are with being in that position. So I recommend that you read this book if you're exhausted from trying to keep up with your own life, if you're starting to suspect that the way you're living right now is costing you peace or being present with the people you love, or if you want to create a life that feels really good on the inside, not just one that looks good on the outside. Hopefully, these takeaways in this review have helped you today. I just want to remind you one more time that you are not your accomplishments and that you are already enough. Have a great day, and I will see you next week.

Michelle Gauthier: 8:46

Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast. If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegothier.com. See you next week.