Overwhelmed Working Woman: Boost Productivity, Master Time Management, Overcome Overwhelm & Stop People Pleasing

#207| Why Doing More Isn’t the Answer to Overwhelm—and What Actually Works Instead: Overwhelm, Productivity, Time Management & People Pleasing

• Michelle Gauthier | Inspired by Mel Robbins, Jen Sincero, Brene Brown, Glennon Doyle, Emily Ley, Shauna Niequist • Episode 207

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Have you ever felt so overwhelmed that you’re either completely frozen—or running at full speed with no relief in sight?

If you’re juggling work, family, and responsibilities that never seem to end, this episode will feel uncomfortably familiar. My former client, Jenny Connors, is busy — she's a nonprofit founder, foster parent, and artist — and her life felt like total chaos until coaching helped her finally step out of survival mode.

In this episode, you will:

  • Learn how unrealistic self-expectations silently fuel overwhelm and burnout
  • Discover simple mindset shifts and tools that calm your nervous system and restore focus
  • Hear how structure, self-kindness, and prioritization can unlock creativity and confidence again

Press play to learn how to stop living in overwhelm and start trusting yourself to handle your life with calm, clarity, and confidence.


Wondering why you're overwhelmed? Take my "why am I overwhelmed" quiz to find out the source of your overwhelm, and what to do about it.

Send Me a Message - Have a question, comment, or just want to say hi? Message me here, I'd love to chat!

Work With Me - Interested in working with me 1-on-1, taking a class, or joining one of my coaching groups? Message me here to get the scoop.

Want More? - If you love the content of this podcast, you'll love our Simple Sunday newsletter too. When you sign up, you’ll receive a simple dose of inspiration, practical tips, and a little fun—designed to help you start your week with simplicity and intention. Sign up here

Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Worki...

Jenny Connors:

I expected the absolute world from myself, and I was ashamed if I didn't meet those expectations all day, every day.

Michelle Gauthier:

You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less. I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach. On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's Working Woman experiences. And in each episode, you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease, and relaxation to your life.

Michelle Gauthier:

Hi, friend. Thanks for joining today. Today you're going to hear from our guest, Jenny Connors. She has completely transformed her formerly overwhelming busy life. And when you listen to her story today, you're going to hear how, with the help of coaching, she broke her habit of expecting way too much from herself. And what happened when she actually started doing less. She's going to teach you about a simple tool she created for herself during our coaching that helps her check in with her basic needs and that helps her prevent overwhelm before it even starts. And then how her life changed when she finally learned how to say no without guilt. And why, in fact, no one even freaked out when she did say no. Jenny and I lucked out and met each other because of this podcast. She was a listener and she'll tell the story on here of how we came to know each other. I think you'll enjoy this conversation and learn a lot in the meantime.

Michelle Gauthier:

Thank you so much, Jenny, for joining us. I'm so excited to have you on.

Jenny Connors:

Thank you for having me. I'm super excited to be here.

Michelle Gauthier:

I feel like it's extra special because we didn't know each other at all except for the podcast. Like the podcast brought us together, and now we're having a full circle moment where you're on the podcast. It feels extra special to me. So our goal today is just to talk about your coaching experience so that hopefully the people listening can benefit from some of the things that you went through and you learned while you were doing your coaching. So before we jump into it too much, what made you even consider hiring a coach? Had you worked with a coach before? Or tell me, actually, I know your answer on this one. So feel free to tell the truth.

Jenny Connors:

Okay, I will. I had never worked with a coach before, and actually I didn't have great ideas about life coaches in my head, but listening to your podcast, I just felt, man, I think I need some help. And when you put on your podcast one day that you had an opening, it felt like the universe was telling me, okay, you got to do this. And I'm really glad I did.

Michelle Gauthier:

That's your opening. Yes. And I think you emailed me and said, I want to talk to you. I want that spot. So tell us a little bit about the situation you were in or just what your life is like that had you listening to overwhelmed working women in the first place and made you want to work with a coach.

Jenny Connors:

When I saw the title of your podcast, I thought, okay, that's me. So I'm gonna see what this is about. I am a what they now call a resource parent, but actually uh known as a foster parent to three wonderful teenage girls. And I also founded and run a nonprofit theater. And I also direct and perform and write. So my days and my evenings and my weekends are always busy, beyond busy. And I have a constant to-do list that just goes forever. So it felt like my life was chaos. That's a key word that my husband would hear all the time. Chaos, chaos, chaos. And I wasn't happy. I got to the point that I was just overwhelmed all the time.

Michelle Gauthier:

Yes. And as we know, you and I, and probably many people listening, when you're in that overwhelm, it's hard to do anything except think I'm so overwhelmed, and then not be able to actually accomplish anything. At least that's how it feels to me. How did it feel to you when you were stuck in that?

Jenny Connors:

Stuck is perfect and frozen. I had two modes. I either was completely frozen and shut down and getting nothing done anyway, and not actually really resting, just frozen. Or I was going at this crazy pace. I wouldn't even pause sometimes to say hello to people. It was just move, move. I don't have time. I don't have time.

Michelle Gauthier:

Yes. Two modes, neither of them good, right? Right. Yes. Okay. And about how long had you felt that way before we started working together? Three years, maybe increasingly. Yeah. So that's a lot. And now that I know a lot about your life and your business, you started this nonprofit from the ground up, and now you have all these employees and all these shows that you're putting on. And I also know that your daughters, because of the situation you're in, as you said, a resource parent or a foster parent, you have many extra to-dos that most parents don't have. So I can see why you felt that way based on just all the to-dos that you had in your life. Okay, so imagine we fast forward to when we started coaching and as because you just completed it. I worked with my clients for a minimum of six months because it just takes that long to create new habits and for them to really stick. But how long do you think it took you until you started feeling better?

Jenny Connors:

I was thinking about that, and I would say it was about four months in that I realized I'm not freaking out right now.

Michelle Gauthier:

Yes. You realized it in yourself. Like I have crossed over to not being in that constant state of overwhelm.

Jenny Connors:

And I would slide back. But it was about four months that I really realized, oh my God, this is amazing. This might actually happen that I feel better and stay that way.

Michelle Gauthier:

Yes. And the slide back, which we'll get to later. But the slide back is that's what happens sometimes when we get stressed. We slide back into those old patterns. But as long as most of the time you're not in that and you know how to get out when you slide back, that's the biggest thing. Okay, so this might be a hard one to choose, but what tool or tip do you think had the biggest impact on you?

Jenny Connors:

I think the biggest impact was changing how I thought about how much I can do.

Michelle Gauthier:

Okay, tell us more about that.

Jenny Connors:

So I expected the absolute world from myself, and I was ashamed if I didn't meet those expectations all day, every day. And when you and I went over the actual map of how much time there is in a day, how much time there is in a week, and how much time my responsibilities actually take, and how much time that actually leaves me to just sit and work. I realized I was I was delusional, maybe.

Michelle Gauthier:

Because you had already slotted things in all these other spaces in your life. Right. So obviously, you're a smart person and you know how to do math. So as we walked through that, it didn't add up. So I just want to point out to everybody that this is actually really common and it comes from your brain being in this old pattern that says Jenny can do anything. Jenny should get everything done on her to-do list. It's like this thought that doesn't even actually make sense when you break it down and look at how much you can accomplish in a day. But your brain just kept telling you that every day. Let's look at the to-do list. Let's assume we can get it all done. Let's shame ourselves when we don't get it all done. So when we broke that down and did the actual math, what did you realize about yourself?

Jenny Connors:

I realized that my expectations were just way, way too high on myself. And that the way I was talking to myself was actually really cruel. And I would never treat someone else that way. And you would really walk me through that. And it was so helpful. And I think that's the biggest thing for me is changing that perspective.

Michelle Gauthier:

Yes, yes, exactly. To think about what would you say if it was your best friend or one of your employees? You would never hand your employees your to-do list and be like, get all this done today. There's just no way. Great. What change felt the hardest to you?

Jenny Connors:

Oh, I think the hardest was going through my to-do list and then saying, okay, I'm going to choose two or three things because I know that's all I have time for today, and I'm just going to focus on one at a time and then let go.

Michelle Gauthier:

Yes. And it makes sense that felt so uncomfortable because for years you had 37 things on your list and you're like, I have to get all these done. So it can feel when you're changing that and really choosing three that you can actually get done, it can feel like, oh my gosh, I'm not expecting enough of myself or I'm not doing enough, or some of those thoughts that go with that old line of thinking. What happened when you actually did that?

Jenny Connors:

When I actually did it, I was more focused. I was more relaxed. I was more efficient. And it felt great to see the things getting done. And I just learned to accept that it's impossible to do my overall list is about 120 things usually. And then I thought, oh, I could do 37 a day. And actually just getting through those top things and trusting myself that I chose the right thing felt great.

Michelle Gauthier:

Yes. And then it starts to give you a more positive cycle that you're in, which is if I choose these two or three things, I will get them done. So then you learn to have self-trust to be able to estimate how long something really takes and then get that thing done and then feel good about that and then choose the next one. And so it starts to form that new habit and that new belief that I can have this ultra priority list and put things on that list and get them done. Something else that you did that I think is a really cool concept that other people might want to take is that even though you own your own business and you can make whatever schedule you want, that you created enough of a structure for yourself that you have three days a week, a sit-down time and a block of hours where you're really just working on stuff, not having meetings, not even taking your daughter's places or doing anything else except for focus time.

Jenny Connors:

And originally I was constantly trying to figure out schedules for myself. And they never worked in the past because again, I would expect way too much. And so you helped me think more realistically. I think you asked me what level of structure do you think you could handle? And we worked that out and reworked it. And now I know Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I have these blocks. They work in my life, and it makes me feel better knowing, well, on Friday I'm gonna get to that. Well I don't need to worry about it right now. It's not my thing right now.

Michelle Gauthier:

Yes, which really takes a whole new level of self-trust. I don't have to do that today, but I know I'm gonna do it on Friday. Like I know I'm actually gonna stick to my own process and my own schedule. Yeah, I think that's awesome. I think that really helped you get a lot of stuff done. And I have found this, especially with people who are creative like you, that structure is not necessarily their favorite thing, but there is some amount of structure. So you don't want to become as structured as like the stereotypical accountant who puts everything on a spreadsheet because that wouldn't fit for you. But what level of structure do you need in your life and for your mind and how your brain works?

Jenny Connors:

And I think the level of structure we got to just fits like a glove, and it leaves all this room for how much my personal life varies, the amount of appointments that we have to make sure we get to, and the flexibility of working with artists and being an artist myself.

Michelle Gauthier:

Yes, yeah. I love that. Helps you relate to your people and to accept your brain as is, which is magical and wonderful. We can't make it be ultra structured when it's not ultra structured. Okay, which, and you might have more than one answer for this, but when I just asked you right off the top of your head, which tool or shift or change was just like your favorite? I know there were a lot of them that cracked us up. When I'm asking this question, I'm picturing us laughing about some of the things we came up with.

Jenny Connors:

So one, there's so many, there's so many. Let's see, catching the doom cycle, as they named it, being able to catch and stop the doom cycle when I'm going to that place of, oh no, I'm horrible. Everything's gonna be horrible, it's all gonna fall apart. Being able to catch that and not get stuck in that.

Michelle Gauthier:

Yes, yes, you have to tell them about that. That's so good. Okay, so the doom cycle is what we gave the name to after we really outlined what happens in your brain. I'm not getting stuff done. I'm a terrible person, the world is ending, however deep it goes. So we called that the doom cycle. And Jenny learned to have awareness of that and be like, oh no, I'm about to go into the doom cycle. I'm gonna change that and pull myself up. And it's really helpful sometimes if it is something that makes you laugh, because then you can laugh at yourself gently. Okay, we almost caught that one. Okay, now tell them about Dreap, because that is a really good one that probably everyone could use with their own letters.

Jenny Connors:

I have to use it every day. So Dreap is our stands for drop because if I don't put my eye drops in, I get a headache. Let's see. E stands for eat, A stands for agua, so I drink some water, and P stands for P P. Because I would literally just go and go and go and not check in, and I would be miserable. I wouldn't go to the bathroom, I wouldn't eat anything, I wouldn't drink anything, and I'd have a massive headache. And uh now, before I will sit down and do anything, I'll go drink. What do I need to do? And it's amazing how nice it is when you actually take care of yourself.

Michelle Gauthier:

Yes, and it's it probably sounds like what? Who doesn't do that? But I bet every overwhelmed working woman is like, yep, sometimes I do that. I'm like, oh, I've had to pee for two hours. Why am I not doing that? Or why am I so crabby? Oh, because I didn't eat lunch. If you don't start with those most basic of human needs and do whatever your dreap equivalent is, it's really hard to be productive or think clearly or do anything. It's amazing what a little lunch and a drink of water will do for a person.

Jenny Connors:

It's amazing that that I didn't think of that as even a priority before.

Michelle Gauthier:

Because you had so many other things to focus on, and that one just didn't make it on the list, even though it should be number one and now it is number one, which is great. When we were doing coaching together, did anyone around you notice a difference in you?

Jenny Connors:

My husband noticed a difference, and I think he likes it quite a bit because I'm not pushing past him and saying, I can't talk right now and I get it at this thing. He's getting more attention now. Yeah. And the people I work with, I so often I'll say something along the lines. Uh I think that's a win. So we should celebrate that, even if it doesn't feel like it. We did get a win there. In fact, we start our weekly meetings now with saying our wins from the week. I bring the things that I've learned to what we're doing. So I'll check in and say, make sure, did you get something to eat first? Did you is everyone ready? Should we really check in? And they also just notice that I'm not as stressed out. And they'll say, How are you so calm right now? Theater comes with a lot of chaos naturally. Yeah, it just is there. And I just don't take it on anymore. I don't let myself feel it. It things aren't going to completely fall apart. And you know what? If they do, it'll just be for that moment and then it'll be okay.

Michelle Gauthier:

Yeah.

Jenny Connors:

They ask me all the time what's going on. And they get a bit of coaching through funnels through me now.

Michelle Gauthier:

I love that. So one of the things Jenny did during her coaching was read a book that I recommend often called The Gap and the Gain. And it really teaches you to focus on what is working and what your current wins are. And that's something that I do with each one of my clients. We always start off with wins. And it's amazing how much difference such a small thing can make because Jenny, you were always great at having your wins ready. After we'd done a couple sessions, you knew that was the first thing I was going to ask you. And when that's the case and you know I'm going to ask you, then you start tracking them and noticing them. And it just makes you naturally think more positively. So I love that you're passing that along to your team too, because now they know you're going to ask them that.

Jenny Connors:

Yeah. It does change the way you think all day, every day.

Michelle Gauthier:

Yeah. Yeah, which is so great because why not think more positively? Nothing bad can come from that. Right. Did anyone not like your changes during coaching?

Jenny Connors:

I do think that I started to say no more. And that been a big first, I think, for some people to take on. And it was a bit nerve-wracking, still is nerve-wracking for me to just flat out say, no, that's not going to happen, or to say, I hear that's what you were looking forward to. That's too bad. Maybe another year and just leave it at that. I trust my choice. I know what feels right. And I get butterflies thinking about it right now.

Michelle Gauthier:

Yeah. Yeah. So it doesn't feel totally comfortable yet. It will over time with practice, but it's such a different shift to go from what do I think this other person wants to hear to what is my vision for this company or this family or whatever? And answering from that place instead of trying to answer based on what the other person might think. And sometimes people don't like that or they're surprised by it. They don't know how to handle it. But have you seen any relationships that have been damaged by that?

Jenny Connors:

Not at all. No. They just once they see that I'm not shifting, it's just okay. On to the next thing.

Michelle Gauthier:

Yeah. Yes. I feel like that with my kids. Like when I say no, they know and they're just gonna stop asking me. They don't hate me or anything, but they're just like, oh, I know I know that's not allowed, so I'm just not gonna ask. Yeah.

Jenny Connors:

Haven't quite gotten there with our kids, but everything is a work in progress.

Michelle Gauthier:

Yes. Sometimes I have to reiterate the no. Like yesterday, I had to be like, tomorrow I'm literally not driving you to school because I just let her get in the habit of I can't make the bus. And then I drive her. So I just had to reinforce. So it doesn't last forever. I still have to reinforce. Okay, so we could talk about a whole bunch more things, but in the interest of keeping this short, like we like to keep the episodes on this podcast. Let me jump to how does your life feel now?

Jenny Connors:

Now I feel like I have a lot more control. I feel much calmer. I don't have that doom. In fact, I don't even remember the last time the doom cycle started for me.

Michelle Gauthier:

Whoa, that's a big deal.

Jenny Connors:

It is. I am genuinely amazed by how helpful it was to do the coaching with you. I just feel better overall. Yeah, and still get stressed. And yeah, there are moments when I think, oh, there's so much to do. But I have those tools. I go back to them and they help every time.

Michelle Gauthier:

That is awesome. Yay. I'm so glad. That was my next question to you. Is obviously there'll be times when you still feel stressed or overwhelmed or guilty or anything like that. What do you do when those come up?

Jenny Connors:

The first thing is I have to make sure I recognize it and I'm getting better and better at that. And then I go to those tools. I love what you sent me, the breakdown, everything we worked on. And I have it printed out even. And I can think, okay, what am I doing with my thoughts? Or did I do my dreep? Am I sticking To my plan. And a lot of the time, no, I didn't do the drink because I didn't even think about myself for a second. And once I do it, I'm back on track. So just using those tools, checking my thoughts, taking a moment sometimes and thinking, okay, am I being kind to myself? Am I trusting myself? And it gets easier and easier to get right back to feeling like I've got this.

Michelle Gauthier:

That is awesome. That's what I measure success by is how long clients and myself say stay stuck in that negative old thought loop, or how quickly you can recognize it and be like, oh, I see what I did there. Let me just change the way I'm thinking about that and then feel better. And it used to be it was three years that you felt overwhelmed. And then maybe you got to the point where you'd feel overwhelmed for a week and then a day. And then maybe now you slip into overwhelm every once in a while, but you know how to get back out of it. So that's just amazing. To me, the the biggest outcome for myself and not being overwhelmed all the time is how free my brain is to think about actual things. Besides I have so much to do. Yeah. What would you say it is for you? Is it similar or something different?

Jenny Connors:

Yeah, it's amazing how much time the thought about time took up in my head. Constantly thinking, oh, I don't have time for this, or I have to get that thing done, or I have to, but now that I'm not doing that, I find myself having more ideas. I find myself being inspired more. Yeah. And I need that in what I do. Yes, exactly. So it in my company, Women's Theater Collective, also are we go by Valkyrie Theater Company when we're working with youth or doing things that aren't quite female-centered. But we're a nonprofit, and the whole purpose of the organization was to feature women, to have more realistic, more authentic portrayals of women on the stage, to give opportunities to female artists. We do a lot of female-written shows, have female directors, just as much as we can do there and hopefully make a difference that way. And then we also partner with organizations such as Weave, Single Mom Strong, Wellspring Women's Center in Sacramento to hopefully push the causes that they're working on. And we try to raise a little bit of money for them too, which isn't always easy in the art. But that's the core of what we do. And a lot of the time it takes a lot of focus. It takes a lot of planning, but it also takes being ready to handle whatever comes up in the moment. So we just did a show about Mary Shelley, the author of Frankenstein. And we did it outside because we're theater on a shoestring. And we chose a space and we turned it into a theater. When it rained, we suddenly had to take all the equipment down and move it somewhere. Then it stopped raining. We had to put it back up. But while I'm managing all of that and managing the books and working on insurance and payroll and all of those things, fundraising. Fundraising. Oh, grandma. I'm also performing and I'm also trying to think what's the best show to do. And I'm also thinking creatively about what we can do with the next show. We have as you like it, the musical coming up, and trying to create a magical scene that's new and unique. A lot of what we do is very new and unique. We're not just recycling the same shows over and over. That's not what we're about. So it takes a lot.

Michelle Gauthier:

Yeah, that takes a lot of clarity of mind so that you can have those creative parts, a lot of rolling with the punches, thinking up new solutions on the fly when it starts raining and you've got rugs laid out on the grass and all kinds of stuff. Yeah. So I could see how being calm in your position could really benefit you, your business, the audience, all the people who are seeing it. It feels like it has a ripple effect when it's starting with you. So that is just awesome. If people want to know more about your company, where can they go?

Jenny Connors:

They can look us up on women's theatercollective.org. You can also find us on TikTok, Facebook, Instagram. And again, you can also look under Valkyrie Theater, which is our other name, where we do youth workshops. We work with schools in Sacramento City Unified School District. And we also do shows in Fair Oaks, like the new Fair Oaks Performing Arts Center. We also work with the Orangeville Community Center to do the little ones theater program. And we actually just got a new space that's in Midtown Sacramento. So that's very exciting. Wonderful.

Michelle Gauthier:

It has just been awesome working with you. And those were all my questions about your coaching. I just want to ask you the questions that I ask every single guest who's on this podcast, which you obviously probably already know. But what is something that you can do to make yourself feel less overwhelmed?

Jenny Connors:

Something I do to make myself feel less overwhelmed is to speak kindly to myself. I think that is the absolute biggest thing is when I speak kindly to myself.

Michelle Gauthier:

Yes. How do you do that? How do you notice you're doing it and then change it around?

Jenny Connors:

I named the bad voice Karen. And when Karen speaks up, I have this little visual. I'm a very visual person, for sure. You can imagine. I see this little like bratty middle school girl. And I just tell her, Karen, no, go sit over there. And then I get back to all right, Jenny, you're a rock star. You got this. Bring the love, bring the positivity, go be a leader. You can do this. You can do this.

Michelle Gauthier:

I love it. And so the first step that Jenny's talking about there is just noticing when your Karen voice, no offense to anyone named Karen out there, you can name yours anything you want, but when Karen voice comes out, just to be like, oh wait, no, that's just a thought that my brain offered for some reason. I don't have to believe that. I'm gonna tell her to be quiet and then substitute in some better thoughts. So that is great. Okay, and then what is something that you do consistently to save time or do less?

Jenny Connors:

I have started asking myself, is my business or my home life or my personal well-being actually literally going to fall apart if I don't do this? Really is it going to fall? And I'd say 95% of the time the answer is no. And it's amazing how much that has helped me think, oh, I don't really have to do that. Maybe I might never need to actually do that.

Michelle Gauthier:

Yeah. It saves me so much time. Very freeing. Yes, because my brain personally would tell me that everything is extremely important. I have to calm down enough to make that call as well. That's so great. You know, something else that you do really well that I think is worth noting just in case this helps somebody else is you got really good at breaking down tasks. When something felt too big or overwhelming, if you decided you still wanted to do it, you'd be like, okay, today I'm gonna work on cleaning up the entry area of my house. And tomorrow I'm gonna work on the TV room or whatever. But you got very good at just not feeling overwhelmed by the big stuff, but just breaking things down into smaller tasks. It's one of my new favorite things to do.

Jenny Connors:

It's just I geek out on it, writing down, I break it down as small as I can and write it down. And I love it.

Michelle Gauthier:

Such a good tip. It if it feels too big, just go smaller until it is this tiny little thing. And maybe that tiny little thing is think about a time when I could clean the front hall. That's what I'm gonna do today, or whatever it is. Jenny, I could go on and on. I feel like you had a million wins. You were an awesome client. I absolutely loved working with you, and thank you so much for being on the podcast.

Jenny Connors:

Thank you so much. I have absolutely loved it, and I'm thrilled to have gotten to meet you and work with you and do the podcast.

Michelle Gauthier:

Good, good. Okay, thank you so much. Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast. If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at MichelleGauthier.com. See you next week.

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Michelle Gauthier

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