#252| Your Beliefs Are Keeping You Exhausted—Here's Why: Overwhelm, Productivity, Time Management & People Pleasing

When was the last time you truly rested without feeling guilty or thinking about everything you “should” be doing?

So many working women have been conditioned to believe their worth is tied to productivity, which makes slowing down feel uncomfortable—even when they desperately need rest. In this episode, Michelle unpacks the hidden belief keeping women stuck in overwhelm and explains why constantly pushing through is costing more than just energy.

In this episode, you will:

•  Discover the deeply rooted belief that makes resting feel “wrong” for high-achieving women 
•  Learn the emotional, physical, and relational costs of never allowing yourself to truly recharge 
•  Hear a simple mindset shift that can help you finally rest without guilt and create more calm in your life 

Press play to learn how to stop earning rest and start giving yourself permission to recharge before overwhelm turns into burnout.

Wondering why you're overwhelmed? Take my "why am I overwhelmed" quiz to find out the source of your overwhelm, and what to do about it. 

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Work With Me - Interested in working with me 1-on-1, taking a class, or joining one of my coaching groups? Message me here to get the scoop.   

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Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Worki...

Transcript

The Exhaustion That Never Ends

Michelle Gauthier 0:00

Even though you're exhausted, you still feel like you haven't done enough to rest.

Michelle Gauthier 0:08

You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less. I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach. On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's working woman experiences. And in each episode, you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease, and relaxation to your life. Hello, friend. Thank you so much for joining and listening today.

Why Free Time Feels Uncomfortable

Michelle Gauthier 0:41

Today we're going to be talking about rest. And if you're like, what rest? Then this is the episode for you. But I know there are times in everyone's lives where you find yourself in a pocket where you don't have to do anything. But maybe suddenly everyone in your house is gone and you have 30 minutes to yourself. Or you're just pulling up to a kid's baseball practice and you're like, oh, could I just sit here in my car and listen to a podcast? Or do I need to get out my laptop? That's what we're going to be talking about today. Today you'll discover the belief that's underneath that inability to rest, or the idea that resting is bad and you have to earn it. You're going to learn what that belief is actually costing you every time you listen to it. And then I'm going to offer you a simple shift so that you can move into taking an actual rest.

When Worth Equals Productivity

Michelle Gauthier 1:29

I want to start off with a question. Sit with us for a second before you answer it. When was the last time that you rested, like really rested, without feeling like you should be doing something else? For a lot of women who I work with, the honest answer is I can't remember. And that's not because they're bad at relaxing, it's because somewhere along the way they'd learned something that has been running in the background ever since, that their value is tied to their productivity. If this feels like you from a very young age, you get the message consistently that work hard and you'll be rewarded, do more and you'll be recognized, achieve things and you'll be worthy. And probably no one sat down and said that to you, but you picked it up based on people's reactions to what you were doing. And for high-achieving women, that message really worked, right? It got us good grades and a good career and a full life and praise for being the person who could always be capable and reliable and handle everything. So the belief that's running in the background is my goodness, my enoughness is tied to how productive I am. So when you stop being productive, like if you sit down on a Saturday afternoon with nothing to do, your brain's gonna send you an alarm and say, this doesn't feel right. There's still more to do. We need to be productive. And therefore, rest, even if you're sitting there watching TV, it doesn't feel like rest because your brain's like, it should be doing something, it should be productive. The good news is that feeling like you're falling behind isn't the truth. It's just a really old, very practiced belief that your brain is probably running on autopilot. The belief that probably made you successful and get to where you are today is the one that can run you straight into overwhelm and burnout. So let's imagine this person, and maybe it's you, maybe you're picturing yourself in this situation. I can certainly picture myself in this situation in the past. If you believe that you can never rest and all of your enoughness is tied to what you produce and you have to be productive at all times, imagine the trickle-down effect of that situation. Every time you push off rest until

The Hidden Cost Of Skipping Rest

Michelle Gauthier 3:27

you've done enough, air quotes enough, until the list is finished, everyone's taken care of, until you feel like you've earned it, you're paying a price. You're paying with your energy, the kind of energy that doesn't just come back on its own because you slept. You're paying with your presence or lack thereof because a woman who's running on empty is physically there, but not really there, not for her kids or her partner, or her work, or herself. You're paying with your own health. Chronic stress without recovery doesn't stay in your brain. It shows up in your body. For me, it's always showing up in my lower back, in your sleep or the way that you snap it, the people you love for small things. And it can also just strip you of joy and relaxation. The belief that rest is a reward and that you are what you do. You are enough if you are productive, is really just keeping you in a depleted state. If you think about it like your car, it's like you're always putting one gallon in and almost running out of gas at all times. And you constantly have to think about that. The cure for this is obvious. It's resting, but that's hard when you've had this belief that tells you that that's not okay.

Permission To Stop And Share

Michelle Gauthier 4:30

So before you can believe that it's okay, I want to tell you that it's okay. I give you permission to rest. Believe me before you can believe it yourself. I am giving you permission to rest. Not when your list is done, because we all know the list is never done, not when things slow down because things never slow down on their own if you don't do it on purpose. Not when you've done enough because you can't even define enough. It will always be just never quite enough. So right now, this week, as you are, you've done enough to deserve rest. You've worked hard enough, you've shown up enough, you've given enough, you're allowed to stop. You're allowed to have a morning that just belongs to you, to have an evening that isn't productive, a Saturday that doesn't even have a to-do list. Sometimes it's easier for us to do something if someone else tells us to do it. So you take my permission to rest, and then you think of someone else in your life who needs permission to rest and forward her this episode and send her the same message, and we'll just keep passing it on because the permission she needs and the permission you need is sitting right here. Remember, rest is not something you earn, it's something you need. The belief that your value is tied to your productivity is an old belief, but it's costing you more than you realize. And finally, you're allowed to stop. And so is every woman in your life.

Finding Your Overwhelm Driver

Michelle Gauthier 5:49

Before we wrap up for today, I want to talk to you for a second about overwhelm in general. If you feel like you are so overwhelmed right now that you've lost the ability to think clearly, or you're constantly having negative self-talk, or you're always saying yes when you actually want to say no, that can cause a cycle of overwhelm. Maybe you start on Sundays and you're like, I'm really gonna get organized this week. And then on Monday, one thing happens, maybe you're double booked, or you're late picking your child up from school and things start to fall apart, and then it's back to another week of total overwhelm. What I find is that people get stuck in that because it's so overwhelming to just think about what to do first, how to get out of it. And the reason why you're stuck in that is because you haven't really identified the primary driver of your overwhelm and where to start. And that's why I created the quiz, the Why My Overwhelmed quiz, which is on my website and it takes less than two minutes. And it's so helpful for you to understand the root cause of your overwhelm and then get clear on what your first step should be in solving it. Because overwhelm isn't a problem that you can solve in one day and all of a sudden change everything in your life. But if you can figure out the primary driver and what the first step is to solving that, you can get unstuck and start moving in the direction of a way less overwhelming, of a calm and more simple life. The link for that quiz is in the show notes. You can also just go directly to my website at michellegothier.com and you will see the quiz right there on the homepage. Okay,

Quiz Link And Closing

Michelle Gauthier 7:18

thanks for listening today and have a great week. Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast. If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at Michelle Gauthier.com. See you next week.