#255| 4 Tips To Calm Your Nervous System & Fall Back Asleep Faster: Overwhelm, Productivity, Time Management & People Pleasing

Do you wake up at 2 a.m. doing sleep math in your head and wondering why your body refuses to calm down?

If you’re an overwhelmed, stressed-out woman who feels exhausted but still can’t sleep, this episode, featuring life coach and former bad sleeper Lauren Rapaport, will help you understand what’s really keeping you awake. From racing thoughts and nighttime anxiety to stress that builds up during the day, Lauren shares practical tools that help calm your nervous system and make falling back asleep feel possible again.

Listeners will:

•  Learn how to identify the real reason you’re waking up at night so you can stop guessing and start solving the problem 
•  Discover simple nervous-system calming techniques you can use in the middle of the night to fall back asleep faster 
•  Understand how your daytime stress habits directly affect your sleep and what small changes can improve your rest immediately 

Press play now to learn the exact tools Lauren uses to calm her body, quiet racing thoughts, and consistently get back to sleep — even after multiple nighttime wakeups.

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Grab the free sleep tips download
Learn more about Lauren's work

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Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Worki...

Transcript

Why Stress Blocks Sleep

Lauren Rappaport 0:00

Stress activates fight or flight, and sleep is impossible when you're in fight or flight.

Michelle Gauthier 0:09

You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less. I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach. On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's Working Woman experiences. And in each episode, you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease, and relaxation to your life.

Michelle Gauthier 0:36

Hi, friend. Thanks for joining today. If you've ever woken up at 2 a.m., stared at the ceiling, and started doing the math about how many hours of sleep you would still get if you fell back to sleep right now. This episode is for you. Today I'm bringing back one of my favorite guests, Lauren Rappaport. Lauren is a life coach who helps overwhelm stressed-out people find more peace and calm. Lauren has type 1 diabetes and coaches lots of people who do too, which means her insulin pump wakes her up throughout the night consistently. And yet she has become someone who knows exactly how to get herself back to sleep every single time. So if she can do it, you can do it too. When you listen today, you'll learn why you can't sleep and how to get curious about the real reason. It might not be what you think it is. What to do in the middle of the night when your mind is racing and your body will not settle down, how what you do during the day directly impacts how you sleep at night and the simple shifts you can make to make a real difference. Lauren has also provided us with a free download

Meet A Coach Who Gets Woken

Michelle Gauthier 1:32

of all these tips so you don't have to take notes while you're driving. So that's a perk. So listen to this episode today and sleep better tonight. Hi, Lauren. Thank you so much for joining me again. You are multiple times guest on the podcast, and I am so glad to have you.

Lauren Rappaport 1:46

Thanks so much for having me.

Michelle Gauthier 1:48

I would love if you just told the audience a little bit about your story and why we're focusing on sleep today, why you are a sleep expert.

Lauren Rappaport 1:55

It's one of my favorite topics. I'm so excited to talk about sleep. I used to be a self-proclaimed bad sleeper. I almost wore that as like a badge of honor. And through trial and error and learning about my body, I learned different tools and how not to be a perfect sleeper or even a great sleeper. I just learned how to fall asleep, get back to sleep, and just how to work with my body and not against my body.

Michelle Gauthier 2:24

That's so good. And it does it mean that we're getting old that we're like sleep is such an exciting topic. Like I couldn't wait to have you on to talk about sleep. But I feel like there were days gone by, like college, where you could stay up all night and still be fine the next day. And now I just feel like I can't recover from that like I could. It feels like getting sleep is so important.

Lauren Rappaport 2:46

Literally, I don't feel human if I don't get enough sleep.

Michelle Gauthier 2:49

Yes. One of my clients was just telling me the other day that she hadn't had a drop to drink, but she had only gotten four hours of sleep. And she's like, I feel like I have a hangover. I just feel miserable. I can't think straight, all that stuff. And I was like, Yes, exactly, exactly. So you went from being a self-proclaimed bad sleeper to being not perfect, but someone who can consistently get themselves back to sleep if you wake up in the night.

Lauren Rappaport 3:14

Yes, I'm consistent, I'm somebody who can get consistent sleep. And when I wake up, I know exactly what to do. And sometimes I will use one of my tools, sometimes I'll use two of my tools, and sometimes it takes four of my tools, but I know exactly what to do. And I have type 1 diabetes, so I'm consistently woken up and I coach people with diabetes. And so my clients are consistently woken up. My insulin pump goes off, my blood sugar goes high, my blood sugar goes low. And so I need a lot of tools to get me back to sleep.

Michelle Gauthier 3:44

Yes. And I know you don't exclusively coach people with type one, but the reason why I wanted to have you on as the sleep expert is because I don't have type one and I don't have a pump or an alarm that's going off in the night. I'm just waking up for no reason or reasons that my brain can't explain to me. And I think a lot of our audiences too. So even though you have that extra situation that makes it even harder to sleep, which I think is even more impressive that you can sleep now. But I feel like your tools that you have given me have helped me get back to sleep a million times. Like literally, when I wake up in the night, I think through your list of tools. I'm like, which one should I try now? What should I do?

Lauren Rappaport 4:21

You are probably annoyed that you're up in the middle of the night thinking all the things you have to do tomorrow and the frustration is still probably there if you're whether it's carry menopause or whether it's your presentation the next day or whether it's your snoring husband, you are annoyed if you're woken up in the middle of the night.

Michelle Gauthier 4:38

Totally, yes. And then doing the countdown, which makes me feel anxious. If I fall back to sleep right now, I'll get five more hours of sleep, or should I just get up, or what should I do? Okay, so I don't think anybody's gonna argue with us that sleep is important. And I also think that the audience who's listening today are overwhelmed working women who don't have time to be tired, but actually are tired all the time. So give it to us. Tell us what to do if we can't sleep.

Name Your Real Sleep Problem

Lauren Rappaport 5:04

Okay, the first is identify your specific sleep challenge. You can't change what you're not aware of. So what is your specific problem? Because I've talked to people who are like, I got the worst night's sleep last night. And when I asked them what their problem was, they were like, I was up scrolling Instagram before I even went to sleep. So that's not really a sleep problem. That's like I didn't get to sleep problem.

Michelle Gauthier 5:27

Um Do you have tips for that? Turn off your phone, essentially. Is that what you would say to that? Yeah. Yeah, that's a great example. So were you lying there quietly in the dark trying to sleep, or were you messing around with your phone?

Lauren Rappaport 5:40

Or are you waking up consistently at four in the morning every night? Why are you waking up? Are you hot? Is your cat meowing at the door? Is your husband snoring? What is your problem? And really get curious because you can't change what you're not aware of. So really get curious and keep asking yourself why and get to the bottom of what the problem is. So that's the first thing. And then the second thing is focus in on what's in your control because it's just like the low-hanging fruit. There are some things that you may be able to solve. So if sleep is your priority, maybe splurge and get a more comfortable bed or some pillows or an AC. They say 65 is the optimal sleep temperature. But like for my example, my pump was beeping a lot. And I sat down with my endocrinologist and we turned off every single beep that was not necessary. I didn't even realize I had beeps that weren't necessary. So I silenced all of my phone beeps and my pump only beeps down when I'm high or low.

Michelle Gauthier 6:40

Okay. Oh, that is so good.

Lauren Rappaport 6:43

And some of this may seem obvious, but sometimes you are putting off sleep. I don't like doing my night routine. I just, I don't know. I have this whole face routine now. I don't like doing it. I was dreading going to bed because I didn't feel like doing my night routine. So now when I put my pajamas on, I just do my night routine. So that's not an obstacle for going to bed. So little things like that.

Michelle Gauthier 7:03

That's a great example. I also hate it, especially when I'm tired. But I put my pajamas on like hours before that.

Lauren Rappaport 7:10

Again, it may seem obvious, but I always wake up hot and I cannot sleep when I'm hot. So just really start paying attention to all the reasons why you wake up or and what are the things you can solve that are actually in your control and all the little things add up. Maybe it's three or four things. Or having the tough conversation. If somebody is snoring that you're sleeping with, like, should I sleep in a separate room? I've heard separate bedrooms are all the rage right now. Just minimizing disruptions, things like that. Yeah. So second is focusing on what's in your control. Also consistency. Going to bed at the same time every night, waking up at the same time. I know that's a really tough one for overwhelmed moms, but that does make a difference. Science fact difference.

Michelle Gauthier 7:55

Yeah. And even if you can't do it perfectly, you could move in the right direction. Try to go to bed between 9 and 10:30, for example. Lauren and I are both coaches. And so we know that a lot of times our clients will be like, oh, I want to start this new habit. I want to start working out. I gotta do it five days a week. If I can't do it five days a week, I can't do it. And it's no, you could do one day a week and do it for 30 minutes. So I like that.

Lauren Rappaport 8:16

It's all about how you feel, right? Everything's an experiment. Try it and see how you feel.

Michelle Gauthier 8:21

Yeah, I love that. That's good advice. Okay, so now we know what's causing our sleep problems. We know what's in our control. Now what?

Lauren Rappaport 8:30

Okay, number three, this is really the magic.

Downshift Fight Or Flight Fast

Lauren Rappaport 8:33

This changed everything for me. And this is shifting your physical state. Stress activates fight or flight. So when you wake up and your mind is racing and your heart is beating and you're sweating and your body is tense, there's a good chance you're in fight or flight. And sleep feels impossible. And that's because sleep is impossible, or sleep is really hard when you're in fight or flight. And the best thing to do is to down-regulate your nervous system. And so this is where I'm gonna get a couple tips that help you regulate your nervous system. This is the meat of what I want to talk about. Just a couple tips to help shift you out of fight or flight and send calming signals to your nervous system so you can go back to sleep.

Michelle Gauthier 9:16

Perfect.

Speaker 9:17

This first tip is pay attention to what's happening in your body. And this has happened to me. Where when I actually think, what am I doing with my body? Are my shoulders at my ear? Are my hands in this? And I'm like, oh, I need to relax my body. So if you just tune into your body and physically relax your body, that is the first thing. And then the second part of that tip is deep breathing. So just a couple deep breaths in, couple deep breaths out, and just go longer on the exhale.

Michelle Gauthier 9:47

I think that's why your tips are so powerful, is because you can remember that in the middle of the night. You can remember, relax my whole body and take a deep breath where the exhale is longer than the inhale. And for anyone listening, you can just try it right now, even if you're driving. You don't have to close your eyes. You can just notice a lot of times when I feel stressed, my body is holding on, like you said, like there's something, someone coming after me or something. And I don't even consciously notice it. So just see if you can let your body go and take those two deep breaths, like Lauren said, and breathe out longer than you breathe in and just see what a little but powerful shift that is.

Lauren Rappaport 10:25

Yeah, exactly. And then the second tip I think this is one that I know it's worked for Michelle. This is gonna sound super counterintuitive because it involves getting out of bed, but this is magic. And it's called legs up against the wall. And this actually also helps with restless legs. Your legs are up against the wall and your back is on the floor and you make a 90-degree angle with the wall. It just takes a few, it's less than a minute, would you say, Michelle? Mm-hmm. Wait for your body to respond. And what I mean by that is for me, when my body has relaxed, I yawn. Or it could be a sigh. It can be like an internal shift. You just lay in that position until you get some sort of response.

Michelle Gauthier 11:10

I don't know what it is, but you actually gave this as a tip on the podcast. You were not talking about sleep that time. And you gave this as a tip. And I've been doing it ever since. And sometimes I'll lie in bed and think, I don't want to get out of bed. I don't want to do the legs up against the wall. And then I go do it. And one minute later I feel better and I fall right back to sleep. I'm like, why didn't I do that 30 minutes ago? And sometimes if I'm in my bed alone, I'll do it up against the headboard. I'll stay in the bed and scoop myself all the way around to put my legs up so I can do it. But it 100% works. It has a hundred percent success rate for me.

Lauren Rappaport 11:47

Me too. It is it's amazing. Okay, so legs up against the wall. The next one is writing your thoughts down. And the reason why this is so fascinating is because when your mind is racing, you feel like you have one million thoughts in your brain and you couldn't possibly get them all out. But in reality, you have probably three to five thoughts that are just on a loop and they have a different flavor to them. So I always have a notebook and a pen next to my bed. And sometimes I do this proactively. I know I have a lot in my mind, but typically I do it as a reaction to not being able to sleep. And you just write down your thoughts, and you think you're gonna be writing forever. And after six things, you're like, oh, that's it. And your brain does not want to be on a loop. Your brain does not want to be thinking about these things. So once you get that list down, sometimes that's the only thing I do. And my brain is like, oh, I won't have to loop anymore. And I just fall right asleep.

Michelle Gauthier 12:44

That's awesome. Okay, we've got legs up the wall, write everything down. What else?

Lauren Rappaport 12:49

The fourth one is EFT tapping. I'm gonna keep this really simple and just one point. Use your first three fingers, your index, middle, and ring finger. You just lightly tap those three fingers on your chest, just right on your chest, right around your collarbone, and you just tap right there very lightly and just say, Let my thoughts go, it's time for sleeping. Let my thoughts go, it's time for sleeping. You can really say whatever you want, but if you need some direction, you just say that. And the tapping sends a signal to your nervous system telling your nervous system it's safe to relax. For me, it sends me like right to sleep. But you really can say whatever. I woke up, my blood sugar was low the other night, and I was so frustrated. And when your blood sugar is low, it's dangerous to go to sleep. So I had to wait for my blood sugar to stabilize. So I just said, I'm so frustrated. I'm so frustrated. And you'd think when you say things like I'm frustrated, it would rile you up, but because of the tapping, it relaxed me. And then by the time my blood sugar stabilized, I went right to sleep.

Michelle Gauthier 13:53

I love that. I just think it's the coolest thing. I saw your Instagram reel one time when you were doing that, and I was like, ooh, no to self. I'm gonna try that next time. And see, for that one, you don't have to get out of bed. So sometimes I try that one as my first move.

Lauren Rappaport 14:05

Yeah, tapping is usually my first line of defense.

Michelle Gauthier 14:09

Okay, so those were four great ideas for how we could get back to sleep and shift our state. So now that everyone listening knows how to get back to sleep or fall asleep, what other tips do you have for us?

Lauren Rappaport 14:20

The

Daytime Stress Sets Up Your Night

Speaker 14:21

last thing in my framework is just how your day impacts your night. Daily stress makes a big difference in our nighttime sleep, but our nighttime sleep also impacts our day. So it's like a loop. If you're activated during the day, it's going to impact how you sleep at night. So just think about what are some things I can do during the day to keep myself calmer and more regulated. Like all the things I just mentioned, deep breathing, legs up against the wall, tapping, but also can I go for a walk and I get some sunshine on my face? If stress is a problem for you, maybe it is setting up a coaching session with me or with Michelle.

Michelle Gauthier 14:59

Okay, so at the beginning, we mentioned that Lauren has created a document for all of you to have that you can grab for free that has these sleep tips. So go get that. You can keep this nearby at night. And I would challenge you to just think of one of them, if it's legs up against the wall or whichever one you choose, that you just put that in your mind as next time I can't sleep, I'm gonna try this thing. And then go get her document so that you can also have this handy guide in case you need to try. Because sometimes you need to try more than one of them, right, Lauren?

Lauren Rappaport 15:31

Absolutely. And that's one thing I was gonna say is that my big takeaway is you don't have to be a good sleeper. I think you just need like curiosity and a willingness to experiment and do trial and error.

Michelle Gauthier 15:43

I love that. So it's just an experiment. Just try it out. Totally.

Nonnegotiables Favorites And Where To Find

Michelle Gauthier 15:48

Okay, so I have two more questions for you that I ask every guest on the podcast. The first one is what's a rule that you've made for yourself that you rarely ever break?

Lauren Rappaport 15:56

My morning routine. I do like a little morning self-coaching routine where I do three wins, what I'm grateful for, and some of the exercise for my mind, whether it's tapping.

Michelle Gauthier 16:07

Do you have to make yourself do that anymore, or is it a habit at this point?

Lauren Rappaport 16:11

It's a habit because it feels good. It's like I I don't like how it feels to not do it.

Michelle Gauthier 16:16

Okay, that's awesome. That's such a good one. And then the second question is what is something that you're loving right now that has nothing to do with work?

Lauren Rappaport 16:23

Thriller. I'm obsessed with reading thriller books right now.

Michelle Gauthier 16:27

Okay. Okay. Can you give us a few or tell us one that you're reading?

Lauren Rappaport 16:30

This author, Charlie Dunlea, I'm like ripping through all of his books.

Michelle Gauthier 16:34

That's fun. What a great thing to just take your mind off everything else and just get involved in a story. That's why I love reading too. Thank you so much, Lauren, for being on. We'll give them the link so they can download your sleep guide. Where else can they find you and just tell us a little bit about who your regular clients are? Because I know you said you have clients with type one, but clients who don't have type one also.

Lauren Rappaport 16:55

You can find me at Life Coaching with Lauren, and I help overwhelmed, stressed-out women who want more peace and calm in their life and want to connect more with their inner voice and who want to stop second guessing themselves. And I also help people with type one who want the same thing, but just that diabetes adds that extra stress in their life.

Michelle Gauthier 17:16

Yes, being friends with you for a long time has helped me understand how much extra stress that can cause in someone's life. I'm glad they have you. Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast. If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at MichelleGauthier.com. See you next week.