#275| Are You in High Functioning Burnout? Why You Can Look Successful and Still Feel Completely Empty Inside [Overwhelm, People Pleasing, Productivity, Time Management]

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Are you exhausted and numb even though everyone around you thinks you’re absolutely killing it?

High-functioning burnout doesn’t always look like burnout. You may be meeting deadlines, managing your household, taking care of everyone else, and checking every box while secretly feeling exhausted and disconnected.

In this episode, Michelle Gauthier breaks down what high-functioning burnout really looks like, the “pink flags” you shouldn’t ignore, and why you don’t have to wait until your health, career, or relationships fall apart before you make a change.

You’ll learn:

• How to recognize the subtle signs of high-functioning burnout before they become a crisis
• Why being praised for “doing it all” can actually make burnout harder to recognize
• How changing your mindset around productivity and self-worth can help you create more calm without blowing up your entire life

Press play to learn how to recognize high-functioning burnout now and start creating the calm and clarity you need to decide what comes next.

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Life can be overwhelming, but on this podcast, you'll discover practical strategies to overcome overwhelm, imposter syndrome, and negative self-talk, manage time effectively, set boundaries, and stay productive in high-stress jobs—all while learning how to say no and prioritize self-care on the Overwhelmed Worki...

Transcript

What You’ll Learn Today

Michelle Gauthier 0:00

When you listen today, you're going to learn if you are in high-functioning burnout and what to do if that is the case. You're listening to Overwhelmed Working Woman, the podcast that helps you be more calm and more productive by doing less. I'm your host, Michelle Gauthier, a former Overwhelmed Working Woman and current life coach. On this show, we unpack the stress and pressure that today's Working Woman experiences. And in each episode, you'll get a strategy to bring more calm, ease, and relaxation to your life. Hi, friend, thanks for joining today.

Defining High-Functioning Burnout

Michelle Gauthier 0:39

Today we're going to be talking about high-functioning burnout. I recently learned of this term, and when I understood what it was, I thought, oh my gosh, yes, that was me. I wish I had known that I was in high-functioning burnout before I basically burned it all down, quit my corporate job, got divorced, all the things. When you listen to this episode today, you'll learn the pink flags of high functioning burnout, what this is, and why you don't have to hit rock bottom, why the most burned out people are also the ones getting the most praise for it, because the things that make us feel burned out are the things that our boss and our family loves that we do. Why the fix isn't doing more or less of the same things and what to do as a first step to start shifting yourself out if you are identifying as a person who is in high functioning burnout. Stick with me on this one because I'm going to tell you exactly what I wish someone had told me back in 2017.

Pink Flags You Shouldn’t Ignore

Michelle Gauthier 1:35

So high functioning burnout, this term is getting a lot of attention right now. It's sometimes also called a high functioning freeze state. And when I read about it, something just clicked for me immediately because I lived this and I didn't have a name for it. I didn't even pause to think what is going on with me. But here's what high functioning burnout can look like. You look like you're successful on the outside. You're executing pretty well. It's not like you're falling apart and you can't do your job anymore. In fact, maybe even better than fairly well, and your calendar's full and your to-do list gets pretty much done, and people look at your life and think you're killing it. But underneath it all, you basically feel dead inside. Not sad exactly, just numb and going through the motions. You might be always exhausted, but you push through anyway because that's what you do. That's the thing that makes you row a birthday party for your eight-year-old that is very extensive and takes a lot of work, even though you're completely exhausted from your work week. Exhaustion just kind of becomes your baseline. And the things that used to be fun for you just aren't that fun anymore. You're not really having any fun. You're getting through the day and then the next day, and then the next day, and the day after that. I

Michelle’s 2017 Wake-Up Call

Michelle Gauthier 2:47

will share with you my version of this because I think it might help you understand what this high functioning burnout is. But back in 2017, I had, you know, the usual story that I've talked about here on the podcast where I had a stressful job. I traveled quite a bit. I was a mom, just trying to do everything for my kids all the time. And I did everything else too. I was working out all the time. I volunteered at my church. I was the room mom. And I remember just feeling like I was going through the motions checking boxes. And I kept thinking that I would feel different once I got there. There and air quotes. I don't know what the there was once I hit the next milestone, but it never did. So I thought getting a promotion was going to make me feel better. I thought once I had kids, I would feel like I had everything I wanted. Maybe that once I had the second child that I would feel like I had everything I wanted. And it's not that I wasn't grateful for all that I had. I really was, but I just felt like I was going through the motions and checking boxes all day long. And I just kept going and going and going until eventually, this is really summarizing the story quickly, I ended up quitting my job and getting divorced and selling my house, and my whole life kind of came apart all at once. And I look back now and I wish so badly that I had recognized what was happening back then. I wish

Why Praise Makes Burnout Invisible

Michelle Gauthier 4:07

I had this opportunity to see a pink flag before it became a red flag instead of just finding out the hard way. I read about high-functioning burnout for the first time this past week and thought, yeah, that's it. That's exactly what I was in. It took me years to have the language for something that I lived through in real time. So if any of this is landing for you right now, that looking good but feeling empty thing, I want you to hear me. It's not nothing. It's a pink flag and it's worth paying attention to now before it becomes the kind of thing that takes your job or your relationship or your health down with it. Normally when you hear a story about burnout, what you hear is that the person ended up getting super sick or losing their job or losing their mind. They get to the point where they just cannot go on anymore. But here's the thing that makes high-functioning burnout so dangerous. It's kind of invisible because the exact behaviors that are burning you out are the ones that are getting you praised. The compliment I used to love was, I don't know how you do it all. And people say that to you, and nobody around can see what it's costing you because all they see is the output, like the job getting done. Your kids are fed with healthy food, the birthday party has a theme. There's no reason to intervene because from the outside everything looks fine. And that's the reason why nobody's gonna catch it for you. Nobody's gonna be like, hey friend, what's going on? You seem like you're really sort of falling apart here, because it appears that you've got everything together. You're doing a great job hiding it even from yourself. I definitely was hiding it from myself. I really didn't acknowledge that I had any kind of problem. The problem that I would have described is I'm just so busy all the time and it just doesn't feel good inside. And here's

Why Hustling Harder Fails

Michelle Gauthier 5:49

where I want to push back on something, because it matters a lot to me. If you're in this, the advice you might hear everywhere is just to hustle harder and optimize more or find a better system or try to squeeze more out of your day. And I think that's wrong. Honestly, it bothers me because that's the opposite of what actually works. And you don't have to quit your job and you don't have to get divorced, you don't have to become a completely different kind of person or a completely different kind of mom. What you actually need is to learn how to get out of high-functioning burnout, and that's mostly a mindset change, learning to do less and changing the belief that your productivity is your worth. That last part is really important because it's probably unconscious, but somewhere in there you believe that what you produce is what makes you valuable. And that's why you can't stop even when you're exhausted. It's why I don't know how you do it all feels like something to protect instead of something to worry about. And doing more won't fix this. Doing less and thinking differently about what makes you worthy will. This is exactly the kind of shift that I help my clients make. I do not recommend to my clients that they do like I did, which is quit your job, get divorced, burn it all down, and start over. Instead, I help them recognize what's going on. Let's catch this now and let's change your thinking and the actions that you're taking so that you can continue to keep that job that you once loved. Or you can have the clarity of mind to decide what you want to do instead. Or you can make the decision to have a happy marriage, or you can make the decision to get divorced, but you're making it from a place of a clear mind instead of this desperate, I just have to change something energy.

Getting Calm Before Big Decisions

Michelle Gauthier 7:30

So, in summary, high-functioning burnout doesn't look like burnout. It doesn't look like you're lying on the floor of your bathroom unable to do anything. It kind of looks like success. The differentiator is the way that you feel inside. If you're exhausted and numb and not having fun anymore, that is your big pink flag and not something to push through. The fix is not doing more. It's a mindset shift and it's absolutely something that I can teach you how to do. In fact, this is my specialty. I can't even count how many clients I've had who have come to me feeling absolutely miserable and overwhelmed in their jobs and they want to change their job. And the thing that we work on is before you decide to change your job, let's just make it so that you can do that job without feeling overwhelmed and burned out. And when they learn those skills and they do that and they all do it, they all are able to be less stressed by the jobs that they already have, be less stressed in managing their own household and their children. And when they do that, they can make a decision from a calm place. And honestly, a lot of times people stay at the job they have and end up enjoying it, or they have the clarity of mind to be like, actually, I really don't want to do this anymore. I think I'm gonna start my own business, or I think I'm going to change careers, or I'm just gonna change companies. Whatever it is, I can help you get out of that high-functioning burnout and back into that calm and clear mind that you need to decide your next step.

Free Consultation And Goodbye

Michelle Gauthier 8:54

Don't be like me and wait until your life falls apart to do something about it. I did that and I don't recommend it. Set up a free consultation with me. The link's in the show notes, and let's catch this now together. If you do a consultation with me about one-on-one coaching, you will tell me all about what's going on with you. We will talk through a high-level strategy of what we would do in coaching, and then you can decide if coaching feels like the right answer for you. The link to do that is in the show notes. Thank you for listening to the Overwhelmed Working Woman podcast. If you want to learn more about my work, head over to my website at michellegauthier.com. See you next week.