23. Invest In Yourself-Part Two, Polka Dot Powerhouse
Oct 17, 2023Episode 23
Nickie Kromminga Hill
I'm so happy to share Part Two with you! I had an incredible experience at the Polka Dot Powerhouse Celebration, a thrilling space of empowerment and support. From the humbling experience of selling my creations to the vibrant Pink and Orange Party and Gold Gala, every moment was a testament to the bonds formed and lessons learned.
I'm so happy to share Part Two with you! I had an incredible experience at the Polka Dot Powerhouse Celebration, a thrilling space of empowerment and support. From the humbling experience of selling my creations to the vibrant Pink and Orange Party and Gold Gala, every moment was a testament to the bonds formed and lessons learned.
*For speaking inquiries or for questions or comments on the podcast, contact Nickie at healandgrowwithnickiepodcast@gmail.com
Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or professional advice.
Nickie is not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast.
This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice.
Speaker 1:
Welcome to Heal Grow with Nikki. I'm your host, Nikki Kraminga Hill. Here we talk about everything Grief, hope, illness, work, family tragedy possibilities, fun stuff and not so fun stuff it's all on the table. Let's take a look at our lives and work to Heal, grow together. I'm so glad you're here.
Speaker 2:
Hello, I hope you are all doing well and enjoying your week so far. Just a few days ago, I recorded episode number 22, invest in Yourself, part 1. This is Invest in Yourself, part 2. Now you don't have to listen to episode 22 to understand this episode, but it might help you understand this episode a little bit more if you have listened to it. I'll just wait right here for a second and wait for you to catch up. Now that you're back and caught up, let's keep going.
Speaker 2:
Well, I can't accurately express how wonderful my weekend was. I almost said meet end Weekend, meet end Weekend. I guess those are similar. What's a meet end? Okay, I digress. The weekend was all that I had hoped it might be, and then some. But it was truly incredible. I am exhausted, as per expected. I'm pretty sure anyone that was there this weekend will have to take one or two days just to sort of reset, get back into the swing of things this week, catch up on some sleep. Even if people got good sleep this past weekend, I'm sure they just still need extra sleep Because I'm ill. I'm guessing it's going to take me about a whole week to get back to normal, even though there really isn't a normal for me, but that's okay. It's going to be worth whatever the recovery time ends up being for me.
Speaker 2:
I paced myself as best as I could. I actually got pretty good sleep. Actually, we had a big party on Friday night and I went up to my room at nine and I probably fell asleep by about 10 or 10 30 and just so that I could get enough sleep, my pain is pretty minimal. I have some back stiffness and soreness, but I think that's just from a lot of sitting. Really, I think I did a great job at pacing myself this weekend and I'm really proud of myself for that, because it would have been so easy and so fun actually to overdo it. But I was smart. What do I even start with? I'm going to start with my vendor table. I was happily next to a woman that I didn't know, but she happens to be in my chapter. Anyone that I would have been set up next to would have been great. They would have been awesome. But I was really really happy to be next to Dawn Hi Dawn, if you're listening because she was just really sweet and fun and silly and I just really liked being next to her. My booth went really really well.
Speaker 2:
As I told you last week, I wasn't really sure what to expect in sales or in terms of how many people might stop to talk to me or even how long I might want to be there, because being a vendor is an extra time commitment. Vending typically happens when everyone else is on a break. They get to choose whether or not they want to go to the vendor area at all. So in a year where I want to be a vendor, I would probably be up in my room resting, and so I would say it was about six extra hours, six more hours than a typical member would be out and about during celebration. You know what? I haven't actually added up the exact amount of money that I made.
Speaker 2:
I'm going to say I sold about half of my inventory, which I was really happy about, and you know, I didn't know if people were going to buy books or spoon necklaces or my paintings. Well, it turns out they bought all of it. I think half of my inventory of each is gone, and I was really pleasantly surprised about that, because when you walked by my booth it wasn't necessarily apparent as to what I do for a living, and I can rectify that in the future by having some better side inch. That is not a problem at all. But yeah, because it wasn't really obvious what I do for a living, people had to stop and ask and talk to me about it, and I think that was my favorite part of the whole weekend. Sure, it was amazing to make some money obviously because I like money and money pays my bills and it helps me grow my business, and I'm thrilled that I sold half of my inventory.
Speaker 2:
But really, what was awesome were all the conversations I had while at my booth. As I told you in my last episode, I had my spoonie necklaces for sale and they're really cute, and so people would stop by and say what are these all about? And we joked that they were for cocaine or they were for a really tiny bowl of cereal, or if you have a leprechaun living at your house, this would be a spoon for your leprechaun. So we got to joke about that. But I had some great conversations with people about what a spoonie is and how to be an advocate for spoonies, so that was really fun. I got to talk to people about my mom and about my book, and one of the ways that I keep her alive is by talking about her and sharing her stories. And in that I got to hear about other people's grief processes, processes, processes, grief processes, size, and I learned that a lot of dots have had recent deaths in their families and we talked about how hard that is and how challenging it is to run a business and run a household and be a caregiver and grieve at the same time. And it was sort of comforting to be in our grief together and to just sort of have fellowship in that and talk about the hard, crappy things about life. And then my paintings everybody just loved the little tiny guys that are on their little easels and it was so fun to talk about painting with some people and why I love to paint and why it's important for me to paint and how it helps me to heal. And it's mostly because I don't have a lot of control over the paintings and how interesting that is that I'm learning to love not having control, or at least not having control in the paintings. I have control in other parts of my life.
Speaker 2:
Some people signed up for my mailing list. Several people said you're a podcaster. I'm a podcaster too. Do you want to be a guest on my podcast. I was like yes, do you want to be a guest on my podcast? So I'll have some really fun and interesting podcast guests coming up in the near future, I'm hoping.
Speaker 2:
A lot of people said, hey, are you willing to do your speaker talk virtually for our dot chapter across the country? And I said yes, yes, yes. So it just was so great and I learned about other people and about their businesses and I'm so, so glad that I went out on a limb and I decided to be a vendor this year because it turned what would have been an incredible experience into a remarkable experience. It's not going to be something that I forget about ever. I don't know that I loved it so much that I would want to be a vendor at local craft shows or anything like that, because what I'm trying to really promote are my speaking and podcasting services and that's not something that you can sell at a craft fair, right, because it's not crafts and I don't know that I love doing my painting so much that I'm going to start doing those at craft sales just because or at craft fairs, excuse me just because I'd rather have painting be something that's still really, really fun for me and something that I could do for myself and my friends, as opposed to something that I do for income. But who knows really.
Speaker 2:
But the vendor booth was just spectacular and I knew that this would be. I just knew in my heart that this would be a great place to try it, because the women in this organization, polka Dot Powerhouse, are there to support each other and to lift each other up, and I knew that that's the environment I wanted to be in while doing my first vendor experience. Would I do it again at celebration? Yeah, I think I would. Next year's celebration is in Boise and as of now I'm planning on going to that and I don't really think I want to cart my things either on the plane or, if I decided to do a road trip in my car. I definitely wouldn't want to be a vendor every year just because it's a lot of extra stress, and next year I'm really looking forward to just being an attendee. But I would definitely do it again in the future, especially in Minneapolis. It looks like these celebrations will be in Minneapolis every other year, so I wouldn't be surprised if, in two years from now, I sort of finesse what my booth was this year, kind of jizz it up a little bit and be a little more mindful in how I'm marketing myself, and then just having a go at it again, it was absolutely worth all the time and energy and money that I put into it.
Speaker 2:
The conference itself was extraordinary Again. This was only my second time going to this conference, but it was very different than the first time. The first time was obviously wonderful otherwise I would not have gone back again but this year was a little different in that there weren't any breakout sessions and so you didn't have to pick and choose which experience you wanted to have. We all had the same experience. So over the course of two days, we had six different speakers, two different panels and two connection activities. Now, I'll be honest with you connection activities make me break out in hives, but I really loved these. There was no frantic trying to search for certain people to talk to. You knew where you were supposed to go and what you were supposed to talk about, and it was really concrete and it was really worthwhile. And, yeah, the whole conference was just really amazing, just filled with support and empowerment, which is, you know, I keep going back to those two words, but that's what it was. It was just support and empowerment and I just couldn't be more grateful for the experience.
Speaker 2:
There were two parties on Friday night. There was the Pink and Orange Party. I think I talked about this last week, I don't really remember, but Pink and Orange are the polka dot powerhouse colors, which at first I was like Pink and Orange, ew. Well, it turns out that those two colors work really great together, and so for the Pink and Orange Party, you are encouraged to wear Pink and Orange. Now, what has ended up happening over the years is that each chapter typically gets their own t-shirts. So our chapter had an outline of the state of Minnesota and it was glow in the dark and it had all of these Minnesotan sayings in there.
Speaker 2:
So you know, yeah sure, yubecha and OfferQ and things like that, and it was just really fun. We had a meal together and then there was a DJ that was there for about four hours. I stayed for one hour, I danced for about an hour, I had a blast, it was so fun, and then I went to sleep, which was wonderful. And then the second night we had the gold gala, where we were all encouraged to dress up in gold, and everyone did that, or most people did that and it was just so fun to see everyone dressed up and you could dress up however you wanted to. Some people were wearing like full length gowns and I was wearing a fun sequin dress that I got for New Year's last year and then I ended up buying a pair of tall gold boots that I loved and it was just so fun.
Speaker 2:
And then there were awards given out. So we have the sit down dinner and then awards were given out to individuals and chapters and leadership groups just for their accomplishments over the year, and it was just so fun to be there and to support everyone and really just the whole vibe of the awards dinner was just fun and uplifting. It didn't feel like there was any competition in there. It didn't feel like people were disappointed If they didn't win something. It just felt like, yes, let's support each other and it just I don't know, it was just really really magnificent and thank you so much for watching. It really made me think about my theater girlfriends.
Speaker 2:
One thing I really miss about theater is being in the dressing room. You know, when you're in a dressing room for six months at a time, six days a week, with 14 other women, you get to know each other very, very quickly the good, the bad and the ugly, and it's such an incredible bond that we form and I've been missing that bond and I sort of have had refounded again with Polkadot, powerhouse and honestly, I could have found it a couple of years ago when I joined, but I chose to stay in the outskirts of the organization. I didn't really trust, I didn't trust it and that's a me problem, that's not the organization's problem. The organization really touts itself as collaboration and not competition, and I'm just not personally used to that. Growing up as a competition dancer and being in the musical theater lifestyle, it is a lot of competition, even though we don't want it to be. We love for it to be more collaborative, but at the end of the day we have to be competitive in order to continue working. That's just the nature of the beast and I know I've talked about that a lot in the past, but I really can't reiterate it enough. We want to be there for each other 100% or even like 75%, but there are forces beyond our control and sometimes in our control that we ignore, that make it difficult for us to be there for one another all of the time because we're competing for work, we're competing for careers and longevity, and so I just didn't really trust that being a dot would be collaborative and supportive, because I'm just not really used to that. And I finally just decided this weekend what would happen if you went all in? What would happen if you trusted every single woman that you met this weekend? What would happen if you followed up with every single woman that you met this weekend? What would happen if you believed every person who says I would like to connect with you further? What would happen? And I'm not sure what that answer is gonna be, but I am so willing to find out and I'm willing to explore this more because it felt so good and so freeing and so warm and welcoming. It felt the way that I want everything to feel.
Speaker 2:
And another reason why I've been sort of remaining on the outskirts of Polkadot Powerhouse is, I've been wondering like is this a cult? Is this a cult? Because if it is a cult, it's a cult and I'm joining. I want to at least be honest with myself that I'm joining a cult, whether it's a quote, unquote, real cult or not. I just want to be aware of that and honest with myself about that I read this really great book. It's called Cultish. I can't remember who wrote it Amanda, somebody or other. Amanda, hug and kiss Just kidding, I'm the Simpsons. I read this book called Cultish and lately I've been listening to this podcast called Sounds Like a Cult, and in both the book and this podcast, the book author is also one of the podcast hosts.
Speaker 2:
They discuss, like, what actually is a cult and can some things be cult-ish without being a cult? And I would say that polka dots is maybe a little bit no, not maybe is a little bit cult-ish if you're looking at the definition of what a cult is. However, I am now willing to just look beyond that. They don't ask us to dress up like one another. They don't ask us to chant anything. They don't ask us to spend all of our money. They don't ask us to all believe certain things and then, if you don't believe certain things, you get kicked out. All of those things are factors of being in a cult and it's not like that at all, but when they use the term sisterhood, it really made me feel like, oh, what is this? Am I signing my life away? And now that I've really spent a weekend immersed, I could see how a person from the outside might think that we're a cult, but we aren't. We really are truly there for one another in ways that are difficult for me to explain. It's just, it's a feeling.
Speaker 2:
No one asks you to be involved more than you're comfortable with. I mean hell. There's been tons of meetings I haven't even gone to. There's been connects. Connects are what you might call a one-to-one. There have been connects that I've just flaked out on and they're still like show up, nikki, we want you here. How can we support you? I mean, it's just an incredible group of people.
Speaker 2:
My future plans within the organization are to actually follow up with all of these people that I met this weekend, which will take me at least a month or two months. I'm going to allow myself that space and grace. I also plan on making sure that I'm at a meeting every single month. I would love to be on a leadership team somehow. That's something that I'm going to need to look into and really learn a lot about before I make any sort of commitment, but I am planning on staying in this organization for as long as they will let me, and our eldest member that was there this weekend was in her late 70s for sure. So this is something that I can be a part of for as long as I'd like to be. So, in terms of investing in myself, the time, the money, the energy was absolutely worth it for me, and no matter what had happened whether I had been a vendor or not, whether I had decided to sleep in my room for half the time or not, it would have been worth it because I showed up for myself this weekend and, in turn, showed up for other people. I learned so much, I healed and I had some growth this weekend, which, as you know, is very important to me.
Speaker 2:
The next few days are going to be really interesting. I'm in this happy little dot bubble. That's what we call it. You know, when you have to go home after being with your dot sisters for a while, we call it a dot bubble. It's just like when I went to church camp when I was little, or when I taught theater and dance at an arts camp. You're just so engrossed in that culture for a short amount of time that when you come out of that culture it's like whoa, wait a second, what just happened to me? I felt so magical and alive. How do I keep doing that in my normal life, so I hope I'm in my dot bubble for a while, but yeah, I mean, I'm looking for more and more ways to invest in myself in the coming days. Even it's worth it. It's worth it to invest in yourself, even if the outcome is not what you thought it was going to be. There's still so much to learn from it and it's just always absolutely worth it.
Speaker 2:
And what I want for you, dear friend, dear listener, is I want you to feel about your life, about your community, about your job, career, family, friendships, whatever it is. I want you to feel the way that I do now, except maybe not as tired. I want you to feel like you belong somewhere and that something belongs to you. And I want you to know that you are so very worth the time and the energy and the money that you put into yourself and that other people are going to see that worth in you. No-transcript.
Speaker 2:
And if, for some reason, the communities that you're in are not acknowledging your worth right now, I need you to get into some different communities, whether that's going to a dots meeting with me, whether that's starting to look for a new job, whether that's starting to exit from that toxic relationship that you've been in for years and years. You are so worth the goodness and love and joy and beauty, and I hope that you know that. I hope that you know that, and if you don't know that, and if I'm the only person that's telling you that right now, please reach out. Please reach out to me because I can help you. I can help you with resources to point you in the right direction, to get you going where you need to go, because this life is, as Glenn and Doyle will say, brutal, brutal and beautiful, but it's mostly beautiful, and I just want you to be able to see that. So please reach out.
Speaker 2:
Send me an email at healandgrowwithnickypodcast at gmailcom. Nikki spelled N-I-C-K-I-E. If you would like to buy me a coffee this week, that would be awesome. You just pop down into the show notes and click on buy me a coffee and throw me a few bucks. That would be amazing. The money that you give to me doesn't actually buy me coffee. It helps me pay for podcast hosting. If you are interested in reading my book Things I'm Thinking About A Daughter's Thoughts and a Loss of Her Mom, you can get it on Amazon. It is also linked in the show notes. Please reach out.
Speaker 2:
If you need a speaker, let me be your gal. I got a great new speaking idea while I was at celebration this weekend, but that's going to take me a while to figure out. In the meantime, I have one that I think that you'll love. It's called Honoring when you Are. It's all about accepting the space that you are in Not only accepting it, but actually loving it and enjoying it. Please share this episode or another episode if you think someone else would really like to hear it. I am now going to go to sleep for days and days, or at least eight hours, as always. Thank you for healing and growing with me today.
Speaker 1:
This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health of professional advice. I am not responsible for any losses, damages or liabilities that may arise from the use of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional medical advice.