Heal & Grow with Nickie
Join your host, Nickie Kromminga Hill, and her guests on a journey of personal stories and insights into healing and growth from past and current trauma. The focus is on fostering true connections through conversations centered around vulnerability and authenticity. The goal is to collectively heal and find opportunities for growth, promoting a sense of togetherness.
Heal & Grow with Nickie
54. Start with Hello
Sometimes the people who shape us most profoundly aren't the ones we're born to, but those who choose us. My grandmother Claudy—who passed away on June 27th—wasn't my biological grandmother, but she created a space in her heart and her home that made biology irrelevant.
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Greetings, fellow humans. It's been a while since we've chatted and I'm so happy that you are here. How are you? How's your heart? How's your summer?
Speaker 1:Today I'm going to be talking about my grandma, claudia. She taught me a lot and I want to share with you lot, and I want to share with you. My grandma, claudia passed away on June 27th. It's been hard. It's hard just because losing someone that you care about is really difficult, and it's been extra hard because Paul's grandma died just the week before, on June 18th, and I was working out of state when both of them passed and I just wanted to be home. And anyway, it's been challenging. We just had my grandma's service a few days ago and all of the kids and grandkids had the option to have a role at the service, to sing or read a poem or read scripture or something, and I chose to write a short tribute and I'd like to read it for you now. I'm going to self-bleep out people's names because I didn't ask them if I could use their name or talk about them on this podcast today. Here we go.
Speaker 1:Claudie's obituary says Through the years, she adopted many people, young and old, always welcoming them into her life, home and heart. That was me and my parents. We were adopted by Claudie bleep and the whole bleep family when we joined Knox Church in Minneapolis. When I was just a baby, neither my mom nor my dad had family nearby, and when Claudie found out we didn't have Thanksgiving plans, we were invited over for Thanksgiving dinner and then we were invited for Christmas and then Easter, over and over and over again for 37 years until I married my husband, paul, and we started our own traditions. Being a young mom, my mother, sue, often turned to Claudia for advice and friendship. She thought of Claudia as her second mom, which would make Claudia my non-biological but extra special grandma. For my entire life, claudia and Bleep have been grandma and grandpa, tata and Pop-Pop. I've always introduced them as my grandparents it's never occurred to me to say otherwise because they are very much my family, even if we aren't blood related, because they are very much my family even if we aren't blood related. And with a wink, grandma Claudia always, always called me her first grandchild, even though we know that that honor really belongs to my cousin Bleep.
Speaker 1:I had the honor of saying goodbye to Grandma Claudia the night before she passed. Uncle Bleep's house was filled with family because of course it was Even in her final hours. She made sure that the room was full. That night we all sat around and talked about the many people who had been adopted into the family over the years. It was typical to visit the Bleep house on Bleep Avenue and meet some random person who was staying there for a few weeks or someone who didn't have a place to be for the holiday. We reminisced about those guests those who came and went, those who were invited in without hesitation, those who needed comfort or something to eat or a place to sleep for a few nights. That's just who Grandma Claudia was. She made space for everyone.
Speaker 1:There are so many things that I will remember about Grandma how she lit up when someone she loved walked through the door like she'd been waiting all day just for you to arrive. How she proudly displayed the Ukrainian eggs I brought her every single Easter. How she proudly displayed the Ukrainian eggs I brought her every single Easter. How she purchased Michael Jackson's Thriller video on VHS and I sat crisscross applesauce on her living room floor with a Pepsi in my hand to watch it. And how fiercely she loved and continues to love us. I also remember a lot of yelling from the kitchen, but that's for a different day. What I'll remember most and try to carry forward is her unconditional generosity.
Speaker 1:Grandma Claudia lived her life with her arms and her heart wide open. She gave without hesitation, without expectation and without judgment. Well, maybe there was a little bit of judgment. One of my favorite quotes is when you have more than you need, build a longer table, not a higher fence. Grandma didn't just believe that, she lived it, and because of that, so many of us found a seat at her table seat at her table. So today, as we say goodbye, I just want to say thank you, grandma Claudia, for setting a place at the table for me and my parents, for showing us how to love without limits and for making a family that stretches far beyond blood. I ask that you and Uncle Bleep and my mom Sue continue to shine down on us and guide our way. Your kindness lives on in all of us. It lives on in me and my husband, paul. And then I list a whole bunch more family members and I close with saying and we will always carry your love with us. And I close by saying and we will carry your love with us always. So, yeah, I felt very honored to get a chance to speak at her service.
Speaker 1:There were several people who approached me during the reception after the service. They shared that they felt the exact same way that I did. They felt like they were a part of the family and I sometimes have issues with the term family. In fact, I did a whole episode on it in season one. It's episode 21,. If you care to listen on it in season one, it's episode 21, if you care to listen. But in this case it was wonderful to hear stories from other people who felt just as at home with this family as I did, or as I do.
Speaker 1:I guess the takeaway here for me is that it's easy to be welcoming. It's so easy, and I take a page out of grandma's book and I start by introducing myself to others and by introducing my friends to one another, and by starting out the first day of class by finding common ground with my students. You don't have to let other people live with you. You don't even have to invite them over for the holidays, but what we can do is look people in the eye and say hello, and that's what grandma did so well. She just started with hello and we could do that too. Start with hello. That's what I've got for you this week, my friends. Just start with hello and, as always, thank you for healing and going with me.
