Heal & Grow with Nickie
Join your host, Nickie Kromminga Hill, and her guests on a journey of personal stories and insights into healing and growth from past and current trauma. The focus is on fostering true connections through conversations centered around vulnerability and authenticity. The goal is to collectively heal and find opportunities for growth, promoting a sense of togetherness.
Heal & Grow with Nickie
58. Dealing with my Dental Shame
In today's episode, I open up about dental shame, money, pain, and why naming it out loud can shrink fear. From braces and veneers to bruxism, root canals, and insurance gaps, I map a no‑shame path back to care and choose rest over pressure while healing.
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I have a little bit of noticing in my mouth as I report this, so hopefully you're gonna be able to understand it.
SPEAKER_00:Hello and welcome to Heal and Grow with Nikki. I'm your host, Nikki Creminga Hill. Here we explore anything and everything that might support us on the journey to mental wellness. From hope to grief, possibilities to challenges, joy to heartache, nothing is off limits. Let's reflect on our lives and discover ways to heal and grow together. I'm so glad you're here with me.
SPEAKER_01:Happy holidays. I hope you had a great Christmas, a great Hanukkah, happy new year in just a couple of days. I don't know about you, but I am not sad to see 2025 go away. Bye-bye, bye-bye. Don't let the door hit you where the dog should have bit ya. Anyway, today I'm talking all about my teeth. And the reason why I'm talking about my teeth to all of you publicly, openly, is because I have some pretty major tooth dental shame. And in the past in my life, when I just speak things out into the open, it takes away the stigma. So I'm hoping that that happens again this time. But yeah, if you're a person who doesn't like teeth or doesn't like talking about teeth, you should probably skip this one. Yeah. So I'm just gonna talk to you about my dental issues today. Um I remember when I was little, my mom tried to make toothbrushing fun. Um, I had this like this toothbrush that was connected to this plastic, like it wasn't a toy, it was made to brush your teeth, but like you would lift up the toothbrush to brush your teeth, and when you did that, a song would play. And it was kind of this weird, creepy lady's voice, and it and she sang, brush your little teeth, brush your little teeth, keep them clean and bright all day, brush them up and down, brush them all around, keep tooth decay away. And I think I was supposed to brush my teeth while she sang that five times through or something like that. Funny side note, when Paul and I started dating and I would sleep over at his place, he bought me this Justin Bieber toothbrush that when you were brushing your teeth, it would sing baby, baby, baby, uh. Yeah, so anyway. Toothbrushing is supposed to be fun. Here's the deal. I don't like the feeling of being wet. I don't like it. I don't like any wetness on my body, touching my body, in my mouth. I just don't like it. Now, that doesn't keep me from sitting in a hot tub or going swimming if people are going swimming, but I just don't like to be wet, therefore, I don't like to have anything wet in my mouth, therefore I don't like brushing my teeth. Do I brush my teeth? Yes, of course I do, because I care about myself and people around me. But I just want to let you know it's not something I enjoy. There are either people in my life that love brushing their teeth, they love flossing their teeth. That is not moi. Anyway, I had a great dentist when I was a little girl. He was our family dentist, Dr. Swanson. He was amazing. He was gentle, he was sweet, he was kind, um, not only in his demeanor, but also like in how he dealt with our teeth. And then came braces. And I think this is when it all sort of went downhill for me. I got braces when I was in sixth grade. My teeth came in super wonky. I have to find a photo to show you because I had a big space in between my two front teeth and then big spaces between my my front tooth and the adjacent tooth. So I had so basically when I smiled, it just was like four big gapped teeth. Um, and also my jaw is pretty small. So Dr. Swanson pulled six of my teeth in order for me to prep to go to the orthodontist and get my braces. I got my braces on and I had them for like three months. No, I mean years. I didn't have them for three months, I had them for three years. And if you've ever had braces or anything like it in Invisalign, anything like that, it's just it hurts, right? It hurts. Shout out to my mom, who every every time that I got my braces tightened, that night she took me to the malt shop on 50th and well, Bryant-ish, and I got to have a malt for dinner that night. Thanks, mama. Anyway, just your teeth moving all the time is really uncomfortable and sometimes painful. And I had my braces for three years, and then I only sometimes wore my retainer, so my teeth got crooked again, and I am very sensitive to my personal crooked teeth. If other people have crooked teeth, I don't care. But I really cared, and that is because at that time I thought I was going into performance, which, spoiler alert, I did, and I didn't want to have crooked teeth and be on stage and be photographed and things like that. So when it was let's let's uh say I was in college, I think I was like 21. I went and I got veneers on my six front teeth. Now everybody gets veneers now, but back in the back in the day, that wasn't really a thing that a lot of people did. And so I was hush hush about it because I was excited to get these new teeth, but like embarrassed that I needed so much cosmetic dentistry because it was just it was just a different time back then. So I got these veneers. That's a whole nother story. I have a really, really funny story about getting temporary veneers and them popping out accidentally when I was at a bar. Anyway, and then my veneer, my my teeth still started shifting. So about five or six years ago, I used Smile Direct Club to um straighten my top, my top teeth. I just never got around to straightening my bottom teeth. The point is, is that I've had a lot of like cosmetic work done on my teeth. And I'm about to tell you some of the non-cosmetic work that has been has happened to my teeth. And oh my god, you guys, I've sunk so much money, so much money into my mouth. It could have probably bought a house. For a while, I didn't have any dental insurance, so I didn't go to the dentist. And then once I got it again, I started going to Dr. Shamblot in Hopkins, who I highly recommend. I actually found out about him. I was listening to um FM 107.1 Talk Radio. Shout out to Bradley and Colleen Team Cobra because um that show isn't on any longer. But at the time, Bradley was talking about I go to Dr. Shamblot. And I mean, I realized that was an ad, but Bradley kept talking about no-shame dentistry. And I was like, that's what I need because if I get a lecture, which I deserve, I'm not gonna go back. So I went in and essentially Dr. Shamblot, and I'm sure t plenty of places do this. If this is just the first time that I've had a dentist do this with me, he he made up a plan of my teeth. And he did x-rays, he did all of the gum tests, all of the stuff. Again, this is probably about you know 10 years ago at least. And I got my I got my plan. He was great. He was so nice to me. He's still nice to me, never once shamed me, just very matter-of-fact. Like, here's the issue with these teeth, and here are the things that I think that we should do, and here's the order in which I think we should do them. And about, let's see, 2000, I got to the end of my plan. I had one more thing to do, one more thing. COVID hit, and I was out of work, and that and which meant I was out of insurance, and I didn't go to the dentist for three four years, four years it was. Finally, I now finally have dental insurance again. So I went in in November, I believe it was, and I thought, okay, it's been a while. I probably have more things to do on my plan than just this one thing. So, you know, so I was expecting that. Ooh, friends, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. I was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong about that. Again, Dr. Shamblatt and his team never shamed me, but I have like this inner shame that I'm really hoping to get rid of. So the big finding back in November is that apparently I um I have bruxism is the official name, but I grind my teeth and I tap my teeth. Now, when he told me that, he well, he said, Do you to grind or tap your teeth? And I said, Not that I'm aware of. Now that he has told me that I that I do, I have noticed it. I don't notice it at night at all, but I do notice during the day when I have a song in my head, and I always have a song in my head, that I start to keep the beat with my teeth. So that's something I'm trying to stop. At any rate, this um teeth grinding, this teeth tapping has ruined my teeth, essentially. But I have small fractures in I don't know how many of my teeth. I didn't ask, I didn't say give me a count. But I have fractures in my teeth now. If you have fractures in your teeth, that means bacteria and decay can grow very, very easily. So I came out of that appointment with a brand new plan, and he divides my mouth into quadrants, and he also prioritizes what needs to get done first, which I really appreciate because there's no way insurance is gonna cover all of this. So, you know, what's the most important? What do I need to do right now? What can wait? So he divided my mouth into quadrants and he prioritized the up my upper right quadrant. Here's what needed to happen in that upper right quadrant. I needed an extraction, which then has to heal for like eight months to get ready for an implant. It's my very last tooth. It's tooth number two. For those of you that know teeth, tooth number one is my wisdom tooth, and that's gone. Tooth number two needs to be completely extracted, and he recommends that I get an implant. However, it's way, way, way back there. So I'm not necessarily prioritizing that implant. So teet number two needed a extraction, number three needed a root canal, number four was fine, number five was fine, number six needed a root canal. If you have a veneer and you have a root canal, it needs to go through the back of your tooth. Okay, so one extraction, two root canals. Okay, I can handle it. I have had root canals before. I've had I don't know how many. I don't want to say several. I don't want to say a bunch, but I've had root canals before. Sometimes they're awful and sometimes they're not. It kind of just depends on what else is going on in your mouth. So I go and he said, I'm just gonna do all of this in one appointment, and then you'll come back and you'll get your two crowns, because heck yes, I will. I'm a queen. So I go in, he does the extraction, he does the root canal, and then he goes to number six, the one with the veneer on it, and he starts the root canal, and then he stops and he says, I need you to go to an endodontist to get this root canal finished. Now, an endodontist is a dentist plus. An endodontist has had more schooling, has different technology. I thought the issue with my root canal and the reason why Dr. Shamblack couldn't do it was because of my veneer. But it turns out after going to YZA Endodontics, they were great. Thank you, Dr. Brasser. I have a really, really small canal in that tooth, and so specialty equipment was needed. Okay, so I leave that appointment. I am hurting, and because I've had root canals before, I know when I'm supposed to start feeling better. Um, and it's usually on day three or four, and on day three or four, I was not feeling better. In fact, I was feeling worse. So I had to go back in, and Dr. Chamblet was like, Oh, yep, you need a root canal on number five. So I got a root canal then and there. A couple days later, I went to the endodontist for a consultation. Today, went to the endodontist for the root canal, and on Wednesday, I go back to Dr. Shamblot to get two crowns, and then knock on wood, this quadrant is done. Friends, it has cost me, I'm gonna say right now, about seven thousand dollars out of pocket. I don't have seven thousand dollars. And my dad's death meant that we got some money from his bank. So that money is paying for my teeth care. And I mean, I wish my dad was here, but since he's not, thank you, dad, for the money because it's gonna fix my teeth or or some of my teeth. I don't know. My dental my dental insurance only covers a certain amount, but it it switches back on January 1st, like most insurances do. So I have run out of dental insurance for the year. That's why everything's been out of pocket. So hopefully I can get this next quadrant fixed or whatever, partially fixed um soon in the new year. And then I don't know, I just wait until I have money for these other two quadrants. I have no idea. So why am I sharing all of this with you? Well, I know that when I talk about the things that bother me, or the things that I'm ashamed of, or the things that I'm afraid of, when I share that with you, I know that you're either going to going to give me direct feedback or or you're not. But many, many, many, many of you will be like, oh my gosh, this is me too, or you know, this is my sister, my mom, my dad, thanks for talking about it, or I have shame and fear too around this. So that's why I'm I'm sharing it with you is that I know I'm not the only one. I know I'm not. I know I'm not. And I don't know if this eases our pain at all, but obviously teeth issues are due to, you know, bad hygiene. And and that's on me, right? That's that's nobody's problem but mine. However, a lot of tooth issues are hereditary. So I'm gonna blame my parents and I'm gonna use my dad's money to fix my teeth. But also, I'm sharing to those of you that have great teeth and haven't had any issues, and to you, I'm gonna say, good job with your hygiene, and you're really, really lucky. And keep doing what you're doing, but also you're lucky. I have so many people when I share, when I share my dental stuff that they're like, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, because you know they've never had a cavity before and they're like super, super reactive to it. Or you have to go to the dentist again? Yes, I do. I have to go to the dentist again. And you reacting that way, stop it. Yep, I have to go to the dentist again. So when you hear that I'm going to the dentist, I really wish that you'd be like, all right, good for you, get that shit done, right? Instead of, oh my god, Nikki has to go to the dentist again. Yes, I do because my teeth are bad, because I grind my teeth, because the world is horrible sometimes. And one of the ways that I deal with it is by grinding my teeth. Do I need a mouth guard? Absolutely, I do. 100% I do. However, I won't get a mouth guard until my teeth are taken care of, because there's really no point in getting one if like the shapes of my teeth are going to change. So I actually have an old retainer from SmileDirect, so I've been wearing that at night just to make sure that if I am grinding my teeth, it's not as bad as it could be. But people grind their teeth because they're stressed out and they're anxious. And I'm a stressed out, anxious person because look at the world. So I don't even have shame about the grinding or the the bruxism or whatever it is. There's no shame around that. That's just me dealing with life. So there you have it, friends. That's what's going on in my mouth. If you've had stuff, man, I see you and I feel you, and I am sorry. It is just not fun. It is a lot of pain. There's nothing like oral pain, man. I tell ya. I'm sure it's worse having a baby. I'm sure it's worse. I'm sure many, many other things are much worse than having oral pain. And Oral pain really sucks and when it doesn't go away when it's supposed to, and I've had like a month, a month of either extreme pain or just a general uncomfortableness. And now that this last root canal, at least for now, is done. I am hopeful that I start feeling better in a couple days. But it has it just sucks. So I see you, I feel you, I hear you if you are in the same boat. And if you're not in the same boat, awesome. I'm excited for you. Don't judge the rest of us. Okay, kids. More coming in the new year. But until then, I hope you're getting some rest. You don't have to finish the year strong. You can finish the year restful. And my hopes and prayers for all of us in 2020 sixteen is that things just soften, soften a little bit. I'm hoping for some a little bit of calm, a little bit of softness, a lot of generosity. And on that note, I will wish you happy new year and adieu. And as always, thanks for doing the growing with me.
SPEAKER_00:This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal health or professional advice. I am not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the making of this podcast. This podcast is not intended to replace professional and medical advice.
