Nothing But Anarchy
"Nothing But Anarchy" hosted by Chad Sanders explores and subverts sports, media, Hollywood, and culture. Chad's vulnerable and raw commentary creates a fresh podcast experience you don't want to miss. Tune in Tuesdays and Thursdays at 12PM ET on Youtube Live.
Subscribe to the "Nothing But Anarchy" Youtube channel for full interviews and more anarchy!
Game analysis, social commentary, and music.
Instagram: @chadsand
Executive Producer: Chad Sanders
Producer: Morgan Williams
Music: Marcus Williams
Nothing But Anarchy
Eps. #59 Homecoming, Learning How to Say No, People Pleasing, Worst First Date Locations, and the Unique Live Sports Experience
This episode is a cocktail of intriguing conversations, learning, and laughter; just what you need to spice up your day!
0:00 Homecoming shenanigans
14:19 Struggles With Prioritizing and Saying No
23:46 Saying No and Maintaining Relationships
28:25 Confrontation, People Pleasing, and Cheating
39:27 First Date Locations and Merchandise Design
51:55 Dating Athletes and the uniqueness of live sports
Tune in Tuesdays and Thursdays at 12PM ET to watch the show live on Youtube. Follow @chadsand on Instagram and subscribe to the Nothing But Anarchy Youtube channel for full interviews and more anarchy!
Executive Produced by: Chad Sanders
Produced by: Morgan Williams
This is Nothing but Anarchy, the show that explores and subverts sports, entertainment, media, hollywood, bunch of other stuff. Whatever you think is interesting, we do it here. Welcome to Nothing but Anarchy. Yo, this is Nothing but Anarchy. It's almost Halloween. It's basically Halloween because Halloween is the weekend of Halloween, which is this weekend. It's also homecoming now for my alma mater, spell House and Morehouse College, spellman College.
Speaker 1:Many of you will be listening to this with a hangover you will have. I'm 35, so many of you all are married and have children. You will have seen someone who you wanted to vibe with out of the corner of your eye at a party last night, or you will see them tonight. You have weighed the values of your life profoundly as to whether or not you want to overtly or discreetly flirt with someone who you are not married to. Some of you have made good decisions. Some of you have made bad decisions.
Speaker 1:Let me get to it, because I'm not there. I'm in Queens. It's beautiful out. I'm going to go to three Halloween parties on Saturday night, tomorrow night, I'm going to go get my hair done. I have a costume. I'm going to be a wizard, because I already had a shirt and pants for it. I got a hat, I got a magic wand, I have some phenomenal boots to wear for it that are studded with shiny spikes. I'm going to look great. I'm going to go again. I'm going to do this thing that I'm learning to love, which is I'm going to go outside by myself. I'm going to float between these parties and just see what sort of particles I pick up along the way.
Speaker 1:Let's focus on you person listening at homecoming. You have brought with you to homecoming all of your eager hopes and desires for some interaction that you think is going to make you feel alive again. You are weighed down by the mundanity, the responsibilities, the I don't know, just the headaches of everyday life all over the country, wherever you live New York, los Angeles, atlanta, dc, austin, seattle, the Bay, houston, dallas, detroit, memphis when am I forgetting that black people live Everywhere, kind of everywhere, but the hotspots you know? But, yeah, black people live everywhere. You came to homecoming because you wanted to feel seen. You wanted to feel like someone can see you. Someone else will see you and think that you are dope, think that what you do with your life every day is poppin'. You do, in fact, want to see. You can deny it. But I know that it is true that you do, in fact, want to see that old crush or that new crush who you've been sneakily watching on Instagram. You want to bump into them. You want to have that little like oh didn't, no, I'd run into you here moment and you got. You're just. You're there to see what your weight is. You want to evaluate.
Speaker 1:Some of you have abs right now, which is crazy People over 30 with abs. Actually, I was thinking about this earlier today. How is your line, how is the rest of your life designed such that you're able to have abs? Like, what is the combination of diet, availability to work out and lifestyle that you have that is giving you this opportunity to have abs in your 30s? It's, it's mind blowing to me, those of you that exist, especially like once you get into the 33 plus range.
Speaker 1:But anyway, back to the home comer. You are shuffling between brunch to a Airbnb with friends. You're having a drink with your people, you're toasting, you're listening to and people who this doesn't apply to, who don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about. I'm sorry, it's just, I got to do it. It's my show, got to do it. You are listening to like the jams from when you were in college. If you're my age, that's like Gucci man future all the way turned up. T-pain who else was popping when I was in college? I mean, kanye was obviously popping, little Wayne Drake was coming on the scene, all that kind of stuff. If you're a few years younger than me, there's like more heavily future leaning. I don't know who else. I don't know who y'all think it's like I don't care. But the point is get what you came for at homecoming, because it is true that when you go home it's not going to be like that for another year. So get what you came for. Get what you came for If you came this is how I'm going to say what I have to say, because I have to say it If you came to blow up your life, just do it.
Speaker 1:You're already walking that direction. You're like walking backward in that direction. You're moving very slowly toward the door. If you came to flip your life on its head, just do it. Just do the thing. I don't mean like, don't do anything that's going to get you arrested, don't commit a crime. What I mean is like if you came to show so and so you looked down on me all of college. You didn't let me in the fraternity, you didn't let me in the sorority. Now, look at me and look at my life and look at yours. I came to poke you in the eye Like go ahead, just stunt, do it Like. You know what you came to do, just do it.
Speaker 1:If you came because you are in a relationship feels a little flat, you're still in it because it to get out of it just feels like too steep a cost to your life right now and you just can't like. You can't get yourself to put one foot in front of the other out the door. You need some sort of like oil to grease the skids. Homecoming is the oil Like, look that person who you remember from like four years ago, who was skinnier then. They're right over there. They are balding, but they're. You know their junk still works like. Their bits and pieces still work like they're fine. You like them. You always liked them. You never dated them because your friend dated them eight years ago. Now that the what's it called the statute of the statute of limitations is up, she's married to somebody else. You can go say what's up to him Like it's fine, you can do it it. This is the time to do it.
Speaker 1:So, homecoming people if you went to homecoming to the reasons to go to homecoming. These are the reasons people go to homecoming. One because you want to feel what it was like to be in college again. You want to feel the combination of, like excitement, enthusiasm, self-esteem, insecurity, anxiety, aspiration. Like you want to feel that very electric kind of imbalanced concoction of feelings that you felt every day going to hump Wednesday or going to a probate or going to Market Friday, or going to tip C Tuesday or going to the Toga party or walking on the promenade or going to class. On the other, you know, if you're a woman going to class and a more house class, if you're a dude going to class at a spellman class, whatever. Like you want to feel that feeling again. That's one because it's an unusual feeling. You won't unless you work in the public eye. It is unlikely that you're going to feel that watched ever again in your life. That's one reason.
Speaker 1:Another reason I know some of you are going to be like some people we just go to have fun and get our daps off. I can't relate. I'm not. I never was one of those. I've never had a life like that, okay. So if that's you and I know there are many of y'all like that like that's great, y'all are the good people, you guys make the thing, you guys actually make it feel nice. Okay, I'm talking to everybody else who goes with their ulterior motives, who goes because they're trying to get their shit off, all right.
Speaker 1:There's the other kind of person who I already said, who just got a big job or a big opportunity. There's a press release. I saw a press release the other day that someone had posted on their Instagram and it didn't even have the publication at the top third of the thing Like, I suspect that the person wrote the press release themselves to announce that they had gotten a new job at another company and put it on their Instagram. Like, there's a lot of that. Like you want to get your shit off, you want people to know you got promoted, you got a bonus, you have a little bit of money, um, whatever, that's another version. Like, you just want to stunt.
Speaker 1:And then the third and I've already covered this, but this is an important one is there's the person who is like this is my shot to find another black person to marry. Um, I went, I went to Spellman, I went to Morehouse. I dated my person for a few years. After that we split up. I'm out here living in fucking Boston and there's no dating options and it sucks. All these niggas are dry as hell. And then it's white people and you're like you know what, let me go shoot one more shot at this. I'm going to go to home. Let me go fucking get in the gym, get a tell for a bag, fly down, like, let me fly. I'm a fly comfort plus to show these niggas what time it is. And I'm going to go and I'm going to meet a boy, um, that I knew 20 years ago and hopefully he'll be different than who he was then. Um, and he is because life happened All right, enough of that.
Speaker 1:Who cares? So, uh, we're going to talk today about the word. No, we're gonna talk about confrontation. We're going to talk about we already touched on confrontation a little bit. We're gonna talk about sports. Obviously, the NBA is back in full swing. Last night, when Benyama played, he was on ESPN. His first NBA basketball game was a nationally televised primetime NBA ESPN game. That's fire. That means that you're the guy the Celtics played. That's my finals pick.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna talk about them. A couple other things we're gonna get into. We're gonna talk about city girls and we're gonna talk about dating. We're gonna talk about, specifically, first dates. There's this thing going around about first dates that little Duval, you there's all these People little Duval, drew Ski, kaisen that I don't know who the fuck these people are. Like, I really don't know who. Like little Duval, I really don't know who that is like. I know what he looks like, don't know where he's from, and and I and I don't say that with shade, I say that with like.
Speaker 1:This is why I'm encouraging you can live in your own pocket of the internet and build a lifestyle around it, like you don't even have to ever be on a network, you don't ever have to be on HBO, you don't ever have to be on Netflix. Like you can. You can have the life you want just by being in your Corner of the internet. But going on. Most people know that, but I think people in my age range are sort of In denial of that. We're holding on to the prestige of years past. We're talking about the first date thing.
Speaker 1:What is a not? We're gonna ask, I'm gonna ask. So let's talk about Confrontation and let's talk about the word no and the word no, and then the idea of no. I Am how I'm. I am in a phase right now of having to learn how to say no in a way that freeze me up for other things that matter more to me, and sometimes that means it's a. It's a. It is a Tricky situation because sometimes that means specifically saying no to things that look like money and relationships that could Help me in the near term, like in the next six months, but that are going to really slow me down for, like, what's what the long-term ambitions are.
Speaker 1:Here I'll chronicle a little bit. Which is to say, came into this thing, this Industry, in 2017. That's what I signed with an agency. That's what I'll call the beginning. The first few years were Probably actually the first. Like four or five years were literally just like can I make enough money doing this job to Support myself? Like, can I make enough to pay my rent? Can I make enough to you know, have groceries, etc. Etc. Can I make enough to travel here and there? And it's volatile. Like you don't know. You don't know when the next check is gonna come, not only just because you don't know when you're gonna get hired for the next thing, but you also literally don't know when the check is going to come, even when you've done the work already. So now it's um, I Got some, got some big projects off, got it got to be a part of some big projects as well.
Speaker 1:And Now the the new ambition is to build, to build stuff that is big, that is revenue generating, like there's obviously a spirited and an artistic heart. That is aside from like the money, but like the money is a part of what we're doing, morgan and I. We talk a lot about money. We talked a lot like. We talked a lot about money. There's a lot of. There are a lot of expenses in this thing. There are hopefully going to be a lot of returns in this thing. We're about to release the first drop of our merch next week. Next week, we we're like but but beyond that, you know, what I'm trying to build is basically like a modern Studio. I guess is the way to look at it. You know, it starts off as a small indie and hopefully then it grows into something around the size of like a 24, and then, if I wanted to grow beyond that, you know, then keep going. But that's, that is the vision. That is a whole meal and it's hard to move toward that at the velocity Everything is.
Speaker 1:Everything is chaotic right now, like driving in the car just on the way here. I'm like I'm driving. I get a text that's about like hey, can you send the metrics from your audible show so we can send them to these agents to see if we can generate some ads for your show on this other network that's coming out? Me and Morgan are trying to lock in the dock. At this point the docket is like it's like the last thing that we do in between days that we do the show, because we have a hundred million other things that we have to get done. I have to call Amanda Cowper, you know who introduced me, and Morgan, who is my producer from that audible show, to talk to her about a relationship that she's Connected me to, to hopefully do another show.
Speaker 1:Like everything is chaos. It's is non-stop. Me and Morgan's last text of a night is usually between 10 o'clock and midnight and our first text Using Morgan text me first sometime around like 8 30 in the morning. But you know, what is interesting is like Morgan lives on. I now that I understand how Morgan lived in college. Morgan has athlete hours, so she's like Morgan is like all hours are work hours, basically. But here's what I will say about it and I can always be myself in this regard None, I look like when, when Someone sent over, we're trying to hire somebody to sell sponsorships for this show and or Hire is loosely is like we're trying to partner with someone who is going to work on a commission to sell sponsorships for the show.
Speaker 1:Seems very talented, smart and able to do that. She sent over a list of metrics that we need to share with her to Take out to prospective sponsorship buyers. This is really inside baseball. So if y'all hate this, I'm sorry. This is the show. Um, I have, like, my dinner and a basketball game on in the living room and it is like an absolute treat for me to get to go to and sit down and open up her text message and read through that, because it is in service to something that I care about, it's in service to this whole thing like it's in service to like Something that I have ownership in. It's in service to something that I believe in, it's in something that it's in service to something that is, in my opinion, that is gonna help in a in its own very small way, like make the world better and not worse. Okay, that's cheesy, but Excuse me, but I mean it.
Speaker 1:Then I have other shit that I lose sleep over, because I am so much in resistance to wanting to do it, because I just don't love it either, because I think the project is wack. I just can't, like I just can't find my footing or my voice in the you, in the group, whatever that group may be, which usually consists of, like production companies and other creatives and whatever. But I think, ultimately, just because, like I don't have or or Toriel ownership over it, like my pin can be overwritten by somebody else's pin and that is I've said this before like that's not a place where I Do well, that's not a good, that's not a good spot for me on a team, and it's taking me literally Until the last couple years for me to even learn Honestly, for me to accept that about myself. You know, like you grow up playing sports and you're taught, you take the role that that's given to you. Basically, like you find your, you find a way, and I was in a fraternity and it's like I had a role even in that. You know and in some ways, like it's given to you, somebody else says like this is what you're good at or this is what we need from you, so you do this in this thing.
Speaker 1:Finally, I get to sort of do what I think I am born to do, like do what I think I'm supposed to do, but I still have my foot in other shit where it's not like that. And I have to learn how to tell people no, like I have to learn to tell people like hey, I. Somebody says, hey, I need two more hours of your time, and instead of just being like I don't have it or I'm not giving it to you, I get. I have all these other things that I go to like oh, you know, let's text and find a time and blah, blah, blah. Or or I'll just like fucking make time for some shit that I don't want to be sitting there doing, and it is, it's the cost. Or go way beyond the one hour because it takes up more space in my head. Last night I literally lost. I'd slept poorly because I was like trying to manage.
Speaker 1:There's like I have the show, which I know is the priority today. We have several other things adjacent to the show that we're setting up right now. And then on top of that, I have like other people's work in my head that I have to. I'm like I'm holding space for characters and I'm holding space for like Relationships on the projects that I'm working in. I'm being detailed but like everybody has their own version of this alchemy in their own life. I think like anybody who has a job and who also has like a passion or an ambition for something else has has this sort of conflict at play. And I had a conversation with an advisor yesterday Because I'm realizing I thought this point was gonna happen to me years from now. I I knew that there would be a point where it's like you gotta say no to sexy things so you can say yes to the thing that you're building and so you can like that hour is valuable to what you're doing. Like you're gonna have to say no to some shit that looks poppin, to say yes for your own thing. And I've had and I've done it in these little like baby step ways up to this point. You know I've like I've quiet quit a project before.
Speaker 1:That's not the way that I think we look at that sort of character someone making those choices. Like if you envision it in your mind, it almost looks like a day beat student. But that's because that person who can't be checked in in social studies class Is because his mind, her mind, is like somewhere else, on something else that's more interesting to her or him. I think about, like my friend Alicia RIP, who was like pretty good student, but and I think about my sister this way like okay to pretty good students but not checked in in a way that like not their toe in the line to get to the point where they're, like they're toe in the line to get an A plus, more interested in doodling on their notepad or writing a story into it or something, because that's just more interesting. Like that's how I feel right now between doing work that I am like Hired to do, or sort of like you know, sometimes people present something to you as a partnership and really it's you, they want you to be their employee, um, versus like doing my, doing my thing, like I at this point see a momentum that that is.
Speaker 1:You ever feel like the universe is like trying to like poke you in the head with some shit and you're just ignoring it, like the universe is literally like poking me in the eye and being like Chad, you can do your shit now. Like you can go off like you did it. You're 35, you did all that other shit to get to this point, like you can go. And when I say you did it, it's like I'm no, like I'm not, I'm not, um, I'm not rich, I'm not, like I don't know. You know who I'm not, I'm not issa, you know what I mean. But it's like you got enough to like go. You have enough to do your thing. You don't have to keep showing up for shit you don't want to go to.
Speaker 1:But and I'm saying this because I'm trying to make the point that I bet most people probably think I am someone who is good at saying no. Would you expect that to be the truth? Um, morgan nods, yes, uh, but I'm not. Like, because it's almost binary. Like if I was good at it, I would be the person who my advisor's telling me like I mean, morgan said it this morning when I was talking to her in the car. She's like have you heard that thing? Like you know, no is a complete sentence, and I have heard that Gabrielle Union said that on direct deposit, which she got from opera. That was my first time hearing it and it is profound.
Speaker 1:Like my advisor was like you need to learn how to, literally, when I think of the word no, I think of all this other shit, I think of like, and I give all these alternatives and other plans and all these other ideas like, no, like what. If I Just said the word no with a what tim my friend ten was listening right now like All his texts have periods after them. That's like that's his signature right and he talks like that too, and so I. Sometimes he talks like that. So there's some, but there's something profound about like this sentence has a beginning, middle and end and the end is, like, punctuated with a period.
Speaker 1:So you know that like this is not, um, this is not a negotiation. I'm over talking it. So here's where I land. I want to get better at saying no. I want to be held accountable by the people who are listening to this show, because I also want to be able to say emphatically yes to the things that make my heart sing, like, to the things that are exciting to me. I want to be able to like jump into those things with both feet without having to hold space for, like, I'm doing the hand without having to hold space for you know some dumb shit that I want to do. All right, y'all. Josh, how good are you at saying no?
Speaker 1:I'm pretty off scale of one to ten pretty awful at it.
Speaker 3:I probably say I'm out of four.
Speaker 3:Okay, I feel very Similarly to you about this. Hold on, let me turn up my mic as well. Sorry about that listening to three things at once, as always. But, um, yeah, I feel very similar to you, similarly to you, and then I'm in a very similar spot where you know there are people made relationships you want to maintain, especially if they're like, for example, like with you.
Speaker 3:It's like if it's a long-term relationship that I see that I feel like will be one that I personally want to have first, and then, professionally, I want to have second, I'm trying to add I like having personal and professional relationships with people. To me it makes the work that much better and for me I'm just thinking about, if I want to have that long-term relationship with somebody, I might still say yeah, I might still say yes to them, but those are really the only people I'm trying to say yes to, unless it's something that oh, it's a lot other than that, like if we don't have that sort of rapport relationship, or it's something that's like so Mind-blowing that I'm like, oh, yeah, I would love to do that. Then I'm trying to say no, but I struggle with it, just like you.
Speaker 1:Morgan, how good are you at saying no?
Speaker 4:I would also say like a four. Okay especially if it's like, if it's like people thinking of me and it like conflicts with there's other things that I have going on. That's like extra hard to like say no, even if it's like something I don't want to do. It's like the oh, like you thought of me and now I feel like I have to say yes. Or like I, yeah, I'm a very like no and an excuse, or like oh, maybe, and then just like quietly disappear.
Speaker 1:Yes, I've seen you do it. Charlotte, how good are you at saying no? Scale one to ten.
Speaker 2:Yeah, similar to Morgan, I I'll say maybe a five because, like I'm an RPP, recovering people pleaser. So it's like I will say no, but I definitely always have to add like a little excuse or alternative, like it's not a complete sense to me, it's a no-comma for me at the moment.
Speaker 1:So I am doing some excavating, trying to, in many different dimensions of my life, trying to figure out I got a. I have to repair this because I connect to everything all three of you all had said. I don't want to fuck a relationship. I prefer something that feels a little more palatable to some to myself and someone else, as a it's like. It's not a no, it's like maybe later. Right and also like I and I think this is the one I relate to the most is like I have. I have. I have people pleaseritis to like. What did you call it? Rpp?
Speaker 2:I was like was this because an?
Speaker 1:RPG is a role-playing game. I was like, are these related? But I I have my identity has formed around being a people pleaser, because I am. What I'm trying to show is Resistance. I'm trying to portray resistance so that people will not even Be able to know that I'm such a people pleaser, because once they're aware of it, they can take advantage. And the people who know me best they're not buying my resistance. They know already like I can get this nigga to do some shit. They know, they know and they have all these little everybody like it's.
Speaker 1:It's a. It's a complicated setup because I see people very clearly, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't help me say no any better. So I see all their little tricks, right, like I see all their little. I'm looking at the jellyfish. Like I see all their little jellyfish Tentacles and ways that they pretend to not be trying to manipulate me into something. I can see them, I can describe them to you. Go down a list of people on my phone. I could be like yep, this person doesn't like this, this person does like that, this, but it doesn't help me still to just be like no, I'm sorry, I can't do it. Here comes a name drop James Blake's girlfriend partner, who is also in the good place. Anybody know her name. She's beautiful, tall, beautiful Brown. I Don't want to accidentally say the wrong country that she's from.
Speaker 4:Jamila, jamila, jamila.
Speaker 1:Jamila, jamila Jamila. She came on quitters. Jamila Jamila, that's right, she came on quitters. She was smart as fuck and she was telling and I just said she was beautiful she was telling us About how she learned how to say no. And someone who she said Richard Branson is his name, right, with the white hair, tall white man with white hair. Yeah, on the good place, yeah, that's him. She was saying like he's so good and exercised what.
Speaker 4:We laugh at that, ted Dancin.
Speaker 1:Who's Richard Branson the?
Speaker 3:description. I would say yes, because the description is right, but then when you? Said the good place. I was like oh wait, no wait, that's Ted.
Speaker 1:Dancin Okay, all right, cool, now we're all Morgan. Now we're all Morgan, ted Dancin. The way he says it is like she said he'll just be like you know, when you're, when you're on a set, like when you're doing like a commercial or something like that, like People really think you are an item to be moved around, like people think you are, you are tool, so like, and you are to an extent so people are like do this, do that, say it like this, say it like that, try it like this, do a little monkey dance with it. And it's like, at a certain point something is just like. I'm just not, I just can't do it. And but most people, they just fucking do it, even if it disrupts their spirit. And she said he'll just be like oh, no, no, no, I'm not doing that like. I think there isn't like, but in a nice way, I think there is a way to tell someone Fuck off, like no.
Speaker 1:Now here's the other part about the no, oh, charlotte, people pleasing, I think, for me, I think it comes from childhood, like, I think, um, I didn't grow up in one of those houses where you got to like, be like no, I'm not feeling that like, no, no, thank you. You know, like I didn't grow up in one of those houses where it was like, oh, you got a bad grade on your report card. Nobody noticed. You know, I didn't grow up in one of those houses where it was like, oh, you know, I feel like going to basketball practice today. You don't have to go. I didn't. I didn't grow up in, I did not ever have one single one of those arenas in my life Not in my house, not on my basketball team, not in piano lessons, not in the high school band, like, not at college, not in a fraternity, like, not at google, like.
Speaker 1:At every turn that I've been at the rule, the structure has been so rigid, like if you take one step outside of this box, um, you're gonna get your eyebrows scorched off. And I became responsive to that, to the point where now, if I tell, if I feel like it's, it's man, this is such a thing, I feel like if I, if someone really wants something from me and I don't give it to them, and I say no like, before I even get to the point of saying no, I have imagined all the ways that they are going to destroy me when I say no Like, one way is they're gonna punch me in the face. Another way is they're going to say the absolute thing that's gonna hurt me the most. Another way is they're going to diminish me and be like who the fuck are you to tell me? Like you can't come to this thing and it's so scary. And so today, today, with you as my witness, it is 1026. I'm gonna start telling niggas no, niggas, specifically 12, 38. What did I say? 1026 is the date. Oh, excuse me. So I'm gonna start telling niggas no, I'm gonna start with niggas because it's gonna be harder for me to get around to doing it to women, but I'm gonna do it to them too, because, because y'all have your ways as well of manipulation.
Speaker 1:And last thing I want to say about confrontation is this is all coming because I was confronted by somebody. This is not all coming like. This is a lifetime coming to this moment. But this week has been especially chaotic because I've had a good zillion things to get done and I had a social interaction with someone who, um, didn't like how I was moving and but like I I'm going to uh, much later when I will describe this in more detail but like, basically, I was accosted. I was called everything but a child of god. I was called um. An f bomb was dropped on me. I was called uh a pussy. I was called um. I have feminine energy. I get no pussy. All these things were like yelled at me by a, by a stranger and for a long, extended period of time, and what it brought up in me was just like um, and I just ate it. Like I just literally, just like, looked at the floor to avoid um, it was a woman, by the way. I looked at the floor to avoid I don't know what, making it worse. Like uh, getting in trouble, getting injured, like I don't, I don't exactly know what, but I just felt like I wasn't able to apply any sort of resistance to it, like I was paralyzed. And that brought up in me.
Speaker 1:Why am I, why am I wired like this to let people Treat me badly, honestly, dead ass, um, all right too deep, okay, homecoming, what y'all doing out there? Y'all drinking, huh, y'all cheating. I know some of y'all is cheating. Why? You guys hate that when I say that it's true, they're cheating. What are y'all? How do y'all feel about that? Change the subject. Yes, I feel exposed. Come on, people at homecoming are cheating what y'all think. It's all I'm deflected, it's on y'all niggas. Now somebody talk about cheating Morgan Charlotte.
Speaker 1:Come on what y'all think I'm anti your anti, I know, but like you know, they down there cheating, right, charlotte? What do you think? Charlotte is leaned away from her microphone. Her arms are crossed.
Speaker 2:Come on um, I feel like it's one of those things where, if a tree falls and no one's there to hear, it doesn't make a sound.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 2:I'm also anti cheating, okay, but People are cheating and I think that's the reason why, because it's like what you don't know won't hurt you, and it's really unfortunate.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about it. Curveball I don't know if we're getting to any of this other shit. Let's talk about it. Um, because I feel exposed. And now I want to talk about something else that has nothing to do with me. I want to feel pointing at y'all niggas, because I know y'all, I know y'all are acting up down there. Listen, I know y'all are acting up. The amount of people who invited me to things that they shouldn't even be at this weekend. I know y'all is acting up, so let's talk about it. Um, cheating If a tree falls in a forest, does it make a sound? Yes, like the thing about cheating is Sure, okay, sure, like if every, if present action was the only Important element of life. No, that's, I've said. I've said that so poorly.
Speaker 2:Here's what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 1:The action in and of itself is a betrayal and that's on its own like standing up, you know, we just like it's a betrayal of self and a betrayal of a partner, like we know, like I think many of us can agree, like that's not good. But I'm not here to like wag a finger at that. I think the thing for me is it sets up a constitution with yourself where, like, the rules are bendable. It sets up a constitution with yourself where it's like now it's like once you start being dishonest with yourself, every fucking thing is out the window. Like everything is a house of mirrors. And I'm trying to tell you all this because I have been there. I have never been faithful in a relationship until my last relationship Like I, which is to say that was my first relationship in which I was faithful, and a lot of that was because I wasn't looking at myself straight in the mirror ever, like I was in relationships I shouldn't have even been in because I was being dishonest with myself, which then lent me to. I was like dishonesty just compounds, like once you start with a place of bullshit, it's so easy to, you know, build bullshit like Tetris blocks on top of it and the type of cheating that is happening at homecoming under the sound of my voice right now.
Speaker 1:I actually hope that in the W Hotel on Peachtree someone is listening to this podcast while getting it on. I want y'all to know I'm not judging y'all what you're doing right now. All I'm saying is it may it could be a signal that there's something about your life at large that you want, that you feel is in disarray, that you want to like, that you want to shake up, and you could do that too. If you want. You could do it too. Young blood, you could do it too. Do you guys know that song? No, no.
Speaker 3:You know it. Yes, I do.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you know I'm just kidding. I'm sorry, morgan, morgan, I'm sorry. Okay, so do what you got to do. Blow up your life at homecoming if that's what you got to do, or don't, or just go and have a good time and go home and be normal. That's also allowed. All right, that was a proper deflection. Let's talk about music and then we'll be right back. Oh no, wow, that's a sign we got merch, y'all. We have merch. That this is important. We're about to talk about marketing. This show has gone off the rails. I don't know what's happening. Charlotte, I like your presence here. You have fantastic energy. Charlotte, please come back to us soon. Charlotte is Morgan's friend from Fordham, and what else should the people know about you, charlotte? Please share.
Speaker 2:That is a loaded question. We also do stuff. Yeah, I also had like a visual podcast web show back in quarantine times.
Speaker 1:What was it?
Speaker 2:called. See the Thing Is, and I took a break and recently I've been thinking about getting back into the game.
Speaker 1:So Get in the game. Was it C like the letter C as a double entendre on your first name?
Speaker 2:That would have been good, but no, it was C like look comma, the thing is ellipses.
Speaker 1:Nice, all right. Well, see, the Thing Is Is it available anywhere?
Speaker 2:It was on my Instagram.
Speaker 1:Oh well, it's coming back All right. So thank you, charlotte, thank you for being here. Okay, let's talk about merch y'all, because some of the people who listen to this show are creators, content creators, sellers of things, digital. I don't know, but we don't even have a good language for any of this shit right now. But we got merch, and here's why we have merch. There's a couple of reasons. One, and it's an easy one let's get it out of the way so that I'm being honest, is to make money.
Speaker 1:That aside, merch, the thing that I enjoy about this whole life, like this whole, this whole world that we're building, is there are ways that we can be creative in so many different dimensions. One of those ways is by way of apparel, by putting on ourselves and other people the message of this show, like the ethos of this show, which is shake it up, fuck it up, turn it over, like shake the snow globe. You'll be fine, it's okay, and your life will continue to go on and it will probably improve. That's the point of view here. The merchandise has been designed by people who love the show, I guess, or something I don't know. I don't even know if that's true, but it's been designed by people who felt moved to design merchandise for the show, and it has.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna be too real. Okay, I've made merch before. I've never made merch that I stand on. I've never made merch that I cared to be specific about color schemes, font styles, design, who actually designed it, saying no to shit that I don't think looks good. Before it was just like I need some merch. I'm in a rush. Let's get some shit out. Let's make a little bit of money. This time around. This sounds so salesy, but I'm being real. This time around it's like I need to make stuff that I'm gonna wanna wear. I need to make stuff in a color palette that I find pleasing. Yesterday, for the first time in my whole life, I asked someone for what was that thing? You needed the color. What was it?
Speaker 1:Oh, a color code, a color code for some shit. That needed to be specific because all of our eyes and ears and bodies work differently, like genetically. We see different colors when we look at the world. There are certain hues, certain hues of ultraviolet and purple and red that feel better for me than other stuff when I look at it, especially y'all's Instagrams, which are fucking terrible. So I'm just kidding, not kidding, but some of y'all y'all know who you are. So we have designed merchandise that I think and it's come from a few different designers that I think speaks to the ethos of the show and that you all, hopefully, will actually wanna wear outside in the real world. I hope if you do so.
Speaker 1:This has been big for me with my book. This was big for me with direct deposit. Anytime, I have stuck my own neck out there and my own sort of face and voice out there. I have had the. I'm not a big studio, right. I don't have million dollar budgets. I have the money out of my pocket, but I have always been lifted by people, even strangers, who connect to what I do and what we're talking about, who make their own shit, make, take their own photos, tag somebody, put their own reels up whatever, get the shit out there and now other people can see what we're doing. Like. This is another Merch, is another form of marketing. Like a band, we are trying to get people to know we exist and we're trying to get to see sort of what the show feels like by way of the merchandise. So that's what we're doing here.
Speaker 1:Okay, so a list has gone around the internet. We are becoming a more increasingly internet-y show and the list that is going around the internet is places to not take a woman on a first date, and it has been allegedly collected by a poll of women done by Little Duvall. I'm gonna try to talk about this. So something that I know about this show is I have been told it is a show, it is a man as the host of a podcast that is one of the few such podcasts that is palatable to listen to which, said differently, is a woman, told me that most podcasts with men as hosts should not be listened to, but this one is allowed to be listened to, and so I'm gonna try to keep it that way. And here's what I'm gonna do it on this particular conversation, which is to throw out this super millennial disclaimer, which is to say anyone can take anyone else on a first date, anyone can be the planner of a first date. This does not have to be a gendered sort of circumstance where the man is choosing the first date spot. Blah, blah, blah. You know what I'm trying to say. You know what I'm trying to do, which is fucking make myself likable.
Speaker 1:Here's the list. I'm just gonna read the list and I'm gonna talk my shit. All right, cheesecake Factory, applebee's, chili's, chipotle, olive Garden, the Movies, your House, your House, any Fast Food Chain, buffalo, wild Wings, Wingstop, red Lobster, a Buffet, ihop, denny's, the Gym Church, the Gym Church, starbucks, coffee Dates, ice Cream Dates, family Functions, movie Night Somewhere that Requires A Long Drive, bowling Nightclubs, hookah Bar, a Bar Just For Drinks, waffle House, sports Bar. There's no other places. Are there any other places that exist besides this list? Like I'm trying, I see so many places on here that I go to. I'm gonna list them.
Speaker 1:Cheesecake Factory not in years. I'm scarred from Cheesecake Factory because my sister got a bad grade one time and what happened when I would get a bad grade is that I would get seized at and there would be punishments and potentially yelling, and my sister the one time where she had to face that sort of backlash. She was later taken to the Cheesecake Factory by my dad as like a gift of repayment for whatever punishment she had had. That was too steep. So not Cheesecake Factory, not Applebee's, not Chili's, not Chipotle I don't. I fucking hate Chipotle.
Speaker 1:The Movies that's a good place to go. I mean my house, I'm there every day. Mostly Any fast food chain. I agree. Buffalo Wild Wings is disgusting. Wings Stop is delicious, so that's crazy, but I wouldn't go Wings Stop for a first date. The gym is, I don't even know, like who's living, like that, 30 year olds with abs. That's who. Okay, okay, let me get to the point. Hookah Bar. Love the Hookah Bar.
Speaker 1:The point is this so the first date? I think I know some hacks y'all, so here's one. It is a hack to ask, in my opinion, at each step of a date which includes the sort of pre, like the precursor communication to the date, all communication that happens leading up to a date. There's something that I've learned, which is that, like, connection and intimacy is like a long thread. Okay, you can fray it and break it by any number of actions. You can try to repair it. Sometimes you can never get it all the way back to what it once was. So every time you text someone, call someone, send a voice memo leading up to the first date, that is part of the first date, okay, which is to say I have learned. My sister taught me this, it's been corroborated by other women in my life and I have just seen it as something that is. So it is as this part is gendered, I guess.
Speaker 1:Maybe not actually, I'm gonna test that. It is your responsibility as someone who is inviting someone else on the date, first and foremost, to make sure that they understand that they will be safe on the date. That is why, for example, when I saw somewhere that requires a long drive, that should probably not be a part of a first date One, just because, like that can get fucking awkward if you find out that the two of you have no chemistry and you got a ride for another hour and a half back from the polka-nose or whatever. But also, like if I were going somewhere with a stranger for the first time, I would be afraid if I were in the car for more than like 45 minutes to get to that place. I just don't. I'm like I just can't trust a stranger that way, which is hilarious, because I will take an Uber like four hours away if I can. But regardless, safety first.
Speaker 1:Now here's the real hack, though. The real hack that I believe in is asking and offering optionality at every step of the first date, which is to say, I found three different places that are equidistant from where you live. This one is this. This one is that. This one is this. Which one of these places would you like to go to for our first date? When you arrive, there's a question to be asked around do you wanna have drinks? Do you wanna just eat? Do you wanna just talk? Whatever? Like I am, I'm an asker and, to be honest, like the asking of it, all one creates opportunity for conversation, right? You start to get to know what somebody likes. You start to get to know, like, how somebody makes decisions. You also get to read body language as someone. Someone might like not wanna be so choosy, but like, if you ask someone if they like oysters, you can see whether or not they like oysters before they even respond. So that's another thing. But then, like, once you have created a dynamic of, like I offer things, you choose which thing you want. I think it lends to the day T, like the person on the other side of the table getting a feeling of like, being empowered and important on the date, which is great because, much like sales, then somebody just starts telling you what they want and that's awesome Cause. Then you get to decide whether or not that's the thing that you want. Does this make sense? Is this resonating? Okay, morgan nods to the affirmative. Now, now, I'm gonna get you know, I'm just gonna be real. Where this particularly comes, this dynamic comes, you know, to be valuable, is as the night approaches its end, whatever that in may look like.
Speaker 1:There's a question that I find to be valuable, that I have always found to be valuable toward the end of a night, you know if you're about to leave a restaurant, if you're about to I don't know movies ending, if you're on a walk that's about to come to an end, you're pulling up in front of somebody's apartment. The question is open-ended. The question is how do you want the rest of this night to go? It is an interesting question. It leads to some very interesting and amazing places.
Speaker 1:Sometimes it puts somebody in. It puts someone like in the driver's seat in a way that I think is so unusual for, just like everyday life, it is open-ended. It's like a choose your own adventure in a book type of thing, and sometimes the answer is like I wanna go upstairs. Sometimes the answer is like I wanna go to another spot have another drink. Sometimes the answer is I wanna go home. But it's like it just. I think what I'm saying is it takes so much pressure out of the interaction for both people. If you can like not, it's not. It's like yes, consent. Obviously that's simple, like it's not that simple, but that's not really what I'm saying here. What I'm saying is like optionality, like create opportunities for someone to like make decisions, make choices, compare one thing to another thing. I think it just like improves the dynamic between you. Okay, that's my dating shit. Morgan, where are you not willing to be taken on a first date? Or where are you not willing to take someone else on a first date?
Speaker 4:I would not take someone to a fast food restaurant. I also I don't like the movies for a first date.
Speaker 1:Because you can't talk.
Speaker 4:Because you can't talk, and then I would never go to someone's house on a first date.
Speaker 1:Morgan's mom is here.
Speaker 4:I've never considered going to a hookah bar on a first date, but I'm not necessarily opposed to that I had never considered eating that. That sounds like a big time yeah it's like you're vibing Like I don't know. That actually doesn't sound that bad, yeah, and I wouldn't go somewhere with like a long drive or a waffle house or a sports bar, like I wouldn't do any of the like.
Speaker 1:A buffet is ridiculous. Also like this. This kind of makes me sad Cause it just shows. It's like when you take someone on a date like you also have to go there. Why would you take somebody somewhere? Shitty Like you also, it's a date for yourself too. Like who wants that? Charlotte? Where are you not willing to be taken on a first date? Church?
Speaker 4:Yes, church is on the list.
Speaker 1:That's absurd. Y'all gotta stop it. Okay, enough with the dating stuff. We did it, we did it. Let's do more dating topics.
Speaker 4:Morgan, I know you actually always want me to do more romance stuff oh no, I just said you do but also sports at some point.
Speaker 1:Oh, all right, Fuck it. Um, let's do it now. All right, let's get spicy real quick. Morgan, charlotte, have you all ever dated an athlete?
Speaker 4:Yes.
Speaker 1:What are athletes like as deities? No, Charlotte. Charlotte says no.
Speaker 2:No, I love myself. Oh, oh, no, if that's work.
Speaker 4:Some experiences were fun, others were not.
Speaker 1:Morgan, that's a nothing burger. What Give us some meat here.
Speaker 4:What do you mean? What are they like?
Speaker 1:There are character types for.
Speaker 4:And also, this is a college athlete, not a professional athlete, but a college athlete's a pretty serious athlete.
Speaker 1:Like you went to a D1 college, right, yeah, like you are a D1 athlete, you know what? Here's a better question, morgan. If I asked someone else who dated you what was it like to date an athlete, what would they say?
Speaker 4:This is amazing.
Speaker 1:No, Morgan, these are nothing burgers. Give me real answers.
Speaker 4:I was busy because you have a set schedule.
Speaker 1:Okay, so unavailable.
Speaker 4:Yeah, unavailable.
Speaker 1:Competitive, I bet.
Speaker 4:I am competitive Like I don't know. It was a general positive experience.
Speaker 1:Do you think that's like bunch of niggas at the barber shop? So what was it like to date?
Speaker 2:Morgan. Well, it was a general positive experience.
Speaker 1:That's exactly how niggas talk about dating. Okay, great job, morgan. Thank you for your appearance at the mic. All right, we gotta talk about basketball. The NBA is now in full swing.
Speaker 1:Technically, opening night was Tuesday night, but last night was the night where like 26 of the 30 teams played, and here's a few things I wanna talk about. I told y'all already who's gonna win the championship. It's the Boston Celtics. They play. I did not watch their game last night. That is a reveal, which is that I felt so confident that they were gonna beat the shit out of the Knicks that I didn't even watch. But they didn't beat the shit out of the Knicks. They beat the Knicks by a small margin.
Speaker 1:I talked to some friends about the game and watched some clips. I looked at the box scores. Something to know is that me and my friends look at the box scores for hours at a time all of us Like dead ass. I was awake in the middle of the night this morning at like 4.30 in the morning and I was looking at box scores. So I was very pleased to see that Chris Daps Porzingis started off his Boston tenure with a 30 point game. I love that. Boston has never had a quick trigger big man as a part of their arsenal. I think that's gonna take a lot of pressure off of Jason Tatum and Jalen Brown on the perimeter. I think, jason, I think, jason Tatum, this has to be the year dog. I see that Devin Booker is gonna try to get his shit off on the other side and I'm talking about light skinned people. I know it do the thing. Morgan Morgan's gonna bring a button to press every time. I talk about light skinned men, but-.
Speaker 4:Every time you celebrate them.
Speaker 1:Every time I celebrate them. All right. Well, I will offset it by shitting on Devin Booker later. But nevermind about the Celtics. Just watch, it's gonna be like a machine. It's gonna be like a battering ram. As long as they don't get hurt, they're just gonna like dice niggas up all season.
Speaker 1:Wimpynyama that's the big thing here. So Wimpynyama's first NBA game was nationally televised ESPN game. I rushed I can't say I rushed home for it, but I made it home in time to watch it with my dinner. And here's what I saw. One Spurs fans are very excited. Spurs have good fans. Charles Barkley always makes fun of San Antonio for being full of fat people, while being a fat person himself. That's annoying. The fans were excited. They had their phones out, they were loud, they were.
Speaker 1:Everybody in sports was excited to see Wimbin Yama's first game. He has a feel for the moment. He knows people are here to see him. He knows and he gives people what they want. He tries things. He has a flair and a risk propensity that I think is unusual for a first year guy like him. But he might not even see himself as a first year guy. He's been a professional athlete for like five years at this point in France. How I would describe him to someone who's not watching the game is he is, imagine, like Kevin Garnett's skill set, with Tracy McGrady's fluidity and personality from what I can tell, with Karim Abdul Jabbar's body. That's how I would describe Wimbin Yama. He knows where to be on the court. He is a willing shooter from outside.
Speaker 1:I wish that the Spurs had a real point guard option. Their point guard options right now are Jeremy so Han, who, greg Popovich, is trying to turn into a point guard, and Trey Jones, who's like very much a backup point guard. I wish they had like a real guy who could get this dude the ball in spots. You'll see a lot of times he runs the floor really well. He's always down court before everybody else. It looks like if you just throw him a Hail Mary outlet pass to somewhere in the paint, it looks like he could just jump up and grab the ball and turn one dribble or just turn and lay it right in. But guys seem afraid to do that and I think it's because they don't have any real guards.
Speaker 1:Regardless, I thought they were going to beat the Mavs. Last night. I told Justin I thought they were going to win by double digits. They had a chance to do that. They were up for most of the game and I think they just they're a young team. They don't have a point guard. It's going to take them a while to learn how to close people out, but I like I just liked how they looked.
Speaker 1:I love Kelden Johnson as a like third best guy on a good team. Devin Fassel looks really good. He's a shooter, he's long, he's stretchy, he knows where to be. I think they're like two NBA starter level players away, which is a long way. But if they really, if you just added a point guard, if you just swapped out Trey Jones for Tyus Jones, I bet they would be like 40% better, all right. Third thing, there's two more things here.
Speaker 1:Zion Williamson I think this is going to be the Zion Williamson experience every year I'm hoping it's not which is at the beginning of the year. He's on the court. He does things that are spectacular. Last night he had a couple plays that were, you know, buzzy and flying around the Internet. One was a dunk where he made a weird move to the paint dunk with his offhand. He's like like he's Zion. I mean he's. He is at his as advertised when on the court. I've never seen him look ass on the court, not one single time. I've never seen him not look like a spectacle. I've never seen like.
Speaker 1:He's probably 300 pounds, one of the highest leapers in the NBA. Quick, twitchy, he's got handle for a guy his size. Like he's got Pat. He can do all that shit. I'm just always scared he's going to get hurt. Like it just doesn't look like his body's going to work. But if he can be healthy and if they stay healthy with CJ McCollum, brandon, ingram, when they get Trey Murphy back, they should be like a top four team in the West, based on how they look last night and how they look last year before Zion got hurt, I'm hot. I'm hot, meaning like physically I'm hot, the sweater is hot, um. Last thing I want to say, and I'm going to play oh, morgan's going to play it. Morgan, can you play this little clip right here? You're just going to hear it.
Speaker 3:He's down. Let's go one on one.
Speaker 2:They don't believe it the pairing of Deere and Fox.
Speaker 1:So that is the sound of what I expect to be, if not the most exciting, one of the most exciting teams in the NBA this year the Sacramento Kings. They led the league in offense offensive efficiency last year. They are led by one of my favorite guys in the league, deere and Fox, who is an attacking guard, which is my favorite kind of player. He just in that clip he steals the ball from somebody in mid court. He takes a couple Does he even take a couple dribbles? He passes up to Malik oh no, yeah, he takes a couple of dribbles. He attacks Chris Dunn who's back on the fast break. He turns around, flips the ball to Malik Monk who's trailing, and Malik Monk, like, cocks the ball so far back and dunks on Chris Dunn's family. And it is the sound. I mean the visual is important. Like you know, we're always looking for that one highlight where someone cocks it all the way back and dunks it down somebody's throat, like John Morant is always going for the knockout dunk. It's rare that we actually get to see it completed. It's even more rare, obviously, that we get to see it on opening night. But two things I love. One is I love it. I love when college teammates reconnect in the NBA and like have their chemistry from college De'Aaron Fox and Malik Monk. They play like two guys who have been playing together their whole lives. When I was in high school, juan Dixon's little brother and Juan Dixon's first cousin both lived with Juan across the street from our high school. They were on my high school team, so obviously they're cousins and they just had this connection where, like, no matter what one was our point guard, the other one was our shooting guard. No matter where one was on the court, the other one always knew exactly where he was and how to get him the ball in the right spot. And De'Aaron Fox and Malik Monk kind of have that.
Speaker 1:The other thing I love about that clip is that sound. Four minutes, morgan tells me. Well, it's going to be even shorter than that, morgan, but that sound that you hear when Malik Monk dunks on Chris Dunn, like it's the, it's. There's a roar in the crowd, but there's also like there's like an ooh like underneath it, which sounds like something you would hear if a gladiator like cut off another gladiator's head. It's like it's something celebratory and also something primal at the same time and it's loud, and that was in the opposing gym, like that was at the Utah Jazz Arena, I think I can't remember. But the also the announcer. You can hear in his voice that he's like he's knocked over by what he just saw. That's why live sports, that's why the TV rights are so incredibly out of this world. Like that's why people pay billions of dollars for TV rights to live sports.
Speaker 1:There's. You will not hear that sound in any other form of entertainment. Like you won't hear that at a play. You won't hear that in the movies. You won't hear that at a. You won't hear that at a concert. Like you will hear celebration and cheering and roaring and booing in each one of those arenas except for at a play, probably. But you won't hear like that was like something got pulled out of everybody together that they were like there was a shock in it. You know what I mean. Like at a concert, you might be, you might be astounded at what you're looking at, but you've heard the songs before. Like there's somebody practice and scripted this and they brought a team together to like make this spectacle. De'aaron Fox and Malik Monk didn't know that was going to happen. Like they're just as surprised as the rest of us and that's. That's the thing that is special about, about live sports, about basketball.
Speaker 1:All right, that was so touching. Thank you all for being here. This is nothing but anarchy the show that explores and subverts sports, media, entertainment, romance, dating, homecoming, homecoming people. Last thing I want to say to y'all I know some of y'all are drinking and doing drugs this weekend Be safe, don't drive, don't get behind, don't get behind the wheel on drugs or with booze in your system. Have an accountability buddy. Make sure somebody knows somebody, anybody makes her, somebody knows where you're at. If you're the last one left at Follies tonight like don't, yeah, that's it, don't do anything I wouldn't do. Okay, goodbye, enjoy your new lives after homecoming Also March coming next week.
Speaker 3:I'll see you guys next week. Bye.
