The Show Up Fitness Podcast

Katie Sonier #TWK, The Queen Hunkette's Guide to Personal Training Success, Conquering Fear, and Entrepreneurship

• Chris Hitchko, CEO Show Up Fitness • Season 1 • Episode 48

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What does it take to become a queen in the fitness industry? Our chat with Katie Sonier the Queen Hunkette herself, reveals the strength, grit, and determination it truly takes. And this isn't just physical strength - we mean mental fortitude too. Katie’s journey began after getting a degree from the University of Florida in Kinesiology and training at Equinox in Miami.  We then discuss her training company TWK and owning her own gym. 

But success in the fitness industry isn't just about the hours you clock in the gym. As Katie explains, it's also about the courage to face your fears, the audacity to set bold goals, and the ability to remain mentally present in your work. She also reminds us of the crucial role of trainers in providing a much-needed sanctuary from the ongoing chaos of everyday life. Moreover, Katie offers pearls of wisdom for those just starting out in the industry, pushing them to expect long days, practice what they preach, and most importantly, truly enjoy their work.

On a personal level, Katie doesn't shy away from discussing the more challenging aspects of her life – the pressures of dating in today's world, the negative comments on social media, and how she's navigated these waters. She opens up about her increasing confidence over the years and its impact on her personal and professional interactions. Katie embraces the process of self-improvement, shedding light on the significance of not rushing into relationships, and the power of showing up, time and time again. Tune in for some genuine fitness insights, personal revelations, and solid advice from the Queen Hunkette herself.

Want to ask us a question? Email email info@showupfitness.com with the subject line PODCAST QUESTION to get your question answered live on the show!

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Show Up Fitness podcast. We're great. Personal trainers are made. We are changing the fitness industry. One qualified trainer in time with our in-person and online personal training certification. If you want to become an elite personal trainer, head on over to showupfitnesscom. Also, make sure to check out my book how to Become a Successful Personal Trainer. Don't forget to subscribe, rate and review. Have a great day and keep showing up. Howdy everybody. Welcome back to the Show Up Fitness podcast. We are lucky today to have the Queen Hunkette, katie Sonnier French name. Love it. Thank you for taking the time today to talk about yourself and what you've done for the industry, because you are awesome. Yeah, thank you for having me.

Speaker 2:

I appreciate that nickname too, Hunkette yes, I got my hunk shirt on it's all about being a hunk Today, with all the so easy to offend people you don't want to say a wrong thing, so it's just hunkin' hunkette.

Speaker 1:

It's just easy. I like it, people don't know who you are Check her out on Instagram because she is a badass. But we're going to get right into why she's a badass. Let's hear yesterday's workout. I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say you probably train glutes.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so I trained lower body is what I usually say. So I currently training lower body three times a week. I like to hit glutes, hamstrings and quads in all three training sessions and that's how we train in the training program that I created, trained with Katie. So yesterday's session we had strength squats to start sets of two and then we moved into a hip banded barbell RDL. Now I'm going to cut you off real quick.

Speaker 1:

Sorry, I don't like doing that, but you're being too modest. I want to know what those two? How much are we squatting there?

Speaker 2:

Oh man, I usually don't talk about my squats numbers, so this is actually the first year where I've really pushed the squat. So my squat, like my relative to everything else, isn't the most impressive, but we're getting better. Yesterday was 260 for two Only 260.

Speaker 1:

And for those that are lifting, 260 is going to be the bar 245s and a 10, a five and a two and a half.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yep, exactly, yeah, so that was actually a PR for me. Yeah, this year I've been patiently working on really figuring out my squat stance and technique and I feel like they're finally like clicking, so I'm excited to keep pushing them. But yeah, so we did squats. Barbell RDL, I was doing 225. You want me to say my numbers on all of it? Okay, I don't really talk about my numbers because the numbers are always relative.

Speaker 1:

You know like it's everyone need to hear what you're doing, because you are moving some serious shit there and we need to hear it. We need more strong women like you, I love it.

Speaker 2:

And then we went into a landmine single leg, hip thrust. So there's the glute focused exercise of the day. I had two 45s on the bar, so a landmine. I don't count the bar, so just two 45 single leg for 20 reps each leg. And then we paired that with a heel elevated goblet squat, also for 20 reps. So we kind of started this session with some strength work and then we finished it with some higher rep. I purchased me.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I was at four exercises and I think a lot of people are like you only do three, four exercises per session and that's probably been like the biggest change with my training over the years. Like I used to do eight to 12 exercises per session, I wanted to do all of them. I was like I love this exercise, let me do it every day because I feel it, it feels good. But then over time when you really learn how to move well, you prioritize your technique. You're learning how to push your sets harder, push closer or to failure you start to learn like this is really all I need and can handle, volume wise, for recovery. So yeah, I used to do like eight to 12 exercises per session and now I average about four exercises per training session.

Speaker 1:

And you're definitely known for your strength. You're known for hopefully it doesn't sound creepy, but you're known for your glutes. I mean, you named your dog glute.

Speaker 2:

So I am more known for my calves.

Speaker 1:

Okay, well, we might have to have a calf Pretty impressive here we go let's do it. I'm going to post in my story how impressive a landmine 90 pound bridge for 20 reps is. Because I'm lucky, I have some pretty damn good genes. I never train legs, I hate legs. I'm an arm. I'm lucky parents genetics.

Speaker 1:

but you need to focus on, you need to pick better parents. But you, I don't know how your genetics are when you really started noticing a change in your physique when it comes to your, your glutes, also upper body. Now I like your story, if you can just kind of start us out. You went to school, florida, you got your degree in kinesiology and then I think it's really important for people to understand. Before we were talking, you said patience is a huge thing, but you've been doing this for a long time and those loads are so impressive. That's what we need to highlight as well. But let's hear your story about from college and then how you got into TWK, and then we'll talk about some other stuff too.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So college, like I was saying, was like really the time that I started falling in love with weight training. Um, so more on, like my personal story. Before that I hit like a huge growth spur. So I was at 16, I was five foot three and I was a few years before that I was a gymnast. I was small, I was like a four foot 11, a hundred pound gymnast. I quit that at 13 and then at 16, I was about five three and I hit my growth spur and I hit six foot, like my freshman year of college.

Speaker 2:

So I kind of grew later, um, but I kind of went from like this small girl to like this big, felt awkward and weird in my own skin woman. So kind of finding the gym and weight training like helped me more embrace that, like embrace this new size, like being a bigger, stronger woman. It kind of taught me like this is okay, like, and over time I love it now, like I love my size. Now I say I wish I was like a little bit taller, but I did struggle with it for years. So weight training really helped me gain more confidence in my skin and that's probably my favorite thing about it working with other women too. Watching them just become more comfortable in their own skin, in their body language, you can see they walk differently, more confident, head up. Like that's what it's all about for me at the end of the day.

Speaker 2:

Um, but yeah, so I got into strength training in college and then I started kind of helping my friends with it, and then I started thinking I want to make this a full time career. So at 22, right out of college, I moved to Miami to work at Eepenauk's Brickle and pursue personal training full time, and then, while I was there, I started posting on social media, gaining a little bit of a following, and then, soon after that, I launched my business that I'm still in today, called Train with Katie, which is an online training program with women from all over the world who are doing it together. So yeah, that's kind of how it started and now look at you.

Speaker 1:

You're kicking ass and we have a dissect, a few things on the stuff that you said right there. We'll talk about the height and also Miami a little bit, but we have a cool store. Howweek met. This is the first time we've actually met. The first thing I noticed nails on fleek, as the kids say today. We really love the nails. I think nails are. They tell you so much about nails. Yeah, they're great, I love them. That's funny Nails are great.

Speaker 2:

No one's really ever said anything about my nails and no one's called me hunkette before. So that's two. Let's see if I get a third one in there. We'll see.

Speaker 1:

We met through T, and T is awesome because she is a strong woman as well, but she's taking the initiative to be around people who she wants to inspire to be like, and she is in Melbourne and she came, went through our program online and then we met in Miami and she went through our seminar, which we recently just partnered with Lifetime, and so we've had a lot of people get hired at Equinox. And when were you at Equinox?

Speaker 2:

I was at Equinox from 2015 to 20, almost 2017.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so, so a year and a half, and I'm sure you saw a ton of trainers go through and not stick around very long, huh.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, I think that's very common in the trainer business. I think, even if you've Googled it before, like 5% of trainers like actually stick with it long term.

Speaker 1:

That's what I talk about in my book, and 90% of textbook trainers quit within a year. And you thought firsthand and there's so many parts there to dissect but we've had trainers get hired at Equinox and, most importantly, lifetime with our new partnership, but they're sticking around longer than a year, and you said it so eloquently earlier. It's like the confidence is needed. And so, with T, we were chatting and she came to our seminar and now she's going through her show for the CPT. I'm a little biased. I say it's the gold standard for certifications, but she's a hunkette as well.

Speaker 1:

And I saw one of her posts and I'm like what the fuck, t? You're working out with a badass. What's going on over there? And then she connected us. Now look at, we're having a nice little conversation and I don't think you realize how many people you're impacting, because they don't have the guts to reach out to you and say that you've impacted them. So it's cool when you hear those stories like T, but you're making much more of an impact than you realize. So thank you for everything that you're doing and we need more of you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, thank you, I appreciate that. Yeah, tavana is, I think, like you said, like she's smart in the sense that she picked up and she went somewhere where she feels like she's going to be surrounded by people that will positively influence her. So she's making all the right decisions, so I'm very proud of her. That's great, so shout out to Tavana.

Speaker 1:

There you go. T, there you go. And we talk about that, the skin in the game, the fear that had to present itself, leaving Equinox and to start your own side adventure with your TWK, but then also starting your own gym in Miami. Now moving to Melbourne. That's a pretty awesome transition there from trainer to gaining experience to doing that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think you mentioned fear. I think understanding that every single one of us feel fear and the difference is you just have to feel it and do the thing anyway, like I'm literally reading that book right now by Ryan Holiday Courage Is Calling Yep, that's what it's all about. Every single person feels fear. You just have to go out and do the thing anyway. So I know, personally I feel a ton of fear. Like I feel it like even if I like go to a different like grocery store, I'll be like fuck, I can't do this, but I do it anyway. And that's just like a simple, dumb example. But I think that if that's anything that I've done like right, is that like I've felt all the fear but I just like still do the thing that I know it was like for my best, highest good and I've made those decisions for the past 10 plus years. And then eventually you get old, like I am now, and it all kind of comes together.

Speaker 1:

That acronym you either face everything in Rise above it or you face everything in Run.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think so many, so easy to internalize it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so many trainers feel that I think like going out, like we were talking about earlier, like going out onto the gym floor meeting new people that you've never seen before, you don't know anything about, like that can feel so scary. I have had I have been training people for over 10 years now on the gym floor. I'm on gym number two I meet someone new. Like I meet at least two to three new people each week and I still feel that little bit of nervousness before they come into my gym. Like I feel that because I'm like I want to make sure that this person has a good experience with me, they feel comfortable with me and like I still feel that, but I still know that like I can give them value, I can help them. So I make sure that I meet these people anyway, even with like saying yes to this podcast, I felt fear, but I know that like having these types of conversations is good for me, it's good for other people who may listen and feel inspired by it.

Speaker 1:

So those ants, those automatic negative thoughts. That's inhibited action. And yeah, everyone has it. And if they tell you they don't, that's false. I mean, before the podcast, what did I do? You went and got a pump. I got a pump, I curled my 70s. It gets me all fired up mentally. I go yeah, I'm a badass, let's go fucking do this. And then you talk to me.

Speaker 2:

That's why I start every morning with my. I train in the morning every morning for the past 10 plus years because I know that it gets my brain right and then I can do the rest of my day.

Speaker 1:

And then you're a reader and that's great, cause I love Ryan. He has a spot out of Austin and we've actually sent some students over there and we have a book club and, a little disappointed, you're not part of it, because the last one was I didn't know about that. I'll have to join that Every Wednesday at four o'clock California time, seven o'clock your time. Okay, and we are actually. Our last book was Courage is Calling, from Ryan, cause he has. He has four of them and I think you're reading the first one right now.

Speaker 2:

I don't even know the order of them. I believe this is I've read all of his books. The Courage is the Calling is the last one, cause I was obsessed with the first one I read I think obstacle is the way was the first one I read and I was like, wow, this guy's good. And so I've made sure I got all of his books. But yeah, yeah, I'll have to join that book club. I loved reading. That's been one of the things that's like changed my life. For sure too. It just gives getting out of your own head into someone else's like I think that's so powerful.

Speaker 1:

So Especially as a business owner, because you have that fear and you're people will say this, and it's ironic because it's almost like trying to tell someone who's drowning hey, just, it's all right, just swim. And people will say that, just figure it out. Well, how the fuck are you supposed to figure it out if you don't have that direction? So when you read and you learn from someone who's doing it or Ryan's talking about Stoics, or he's talking about General Grant or whoever it may be you're like, oh shit, that I just need to do it and this is how I need to do it, by just showing up and acting more and getting out of my comfort zone. And so you did that and you opened up your own gym and it's, I mean, miami. We're probably talking four or five plus grand per month, but you had the online as your cover and then you're able to do like small group or one-on-one. What was that environment like?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so yeah, my main business is the online training program, just cause we can reach more people doing that. And then in the gym, I've always done just one-on-ones and then small group classes. So that's what I was doing in Miami and then that's what I'm doing here in Melbourne as well. But I like that because I like, I like the more one-on-one, making sure that, like, everyone's getting a good training experience. I don't like to have too many people in the gym at once and then it's like a giant shit show. So it's all very like small, intimate, everyone's doing their own thing. I'm watching all their sets, giving them technique feedback, stuff like that.

Speaker 1:

Do you have trainers who work for you, or do you do at all?

Speaker 2:

I have a trainer who helps me with the online training program, so she works beside me and she helps give technique feedback to the girls that post for form feedback doing the training program.

Speaker 1:

There's only a certain amount of hours in the day, so how do you juggle all that with being the only trainer at your spot? Delegation's hard bringing on other people, but is that something you eventually wanna do?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so bringing Jess on to help me with training with Katie has been huge Cause I used to. I would be, I would train myself. This was in Miami, I would be training myself and then I would be giving technique feedback online like all day and then I'd go back to the gym and I just realized that that wasn't sustainable. So having other coaches to help me with that technique feedback daily has been great. But Jess was actually a client of mine in Miami, so I coached her for about a year and a half and then brought her on and it was an easy transition because she understood me, she understood our training philosophies and she was a quick, easy bring on to the team. And she's been working with me now for over three years. So it's been really great working with her.

Speaker 1:

So I think it's Jim Collins. I always screw his name up, but he wrote the book from good to great and within that book you talk about B-Hag. Have you heard of B-Hag before? No, big Harry, audacious goals I don't like-. I've only heard that I don't like Harry. It just sounds weird. Some just big foot. So I obviously changed it to big hunky, audacious goals. There we go. What would be some of your big hunky, audacious goals for your gym and your online?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's a good question. It's funny I can tell Tavanna's taking your course, because Tavanna will like ask you that she's like what's your big goal?

Speaker 1:

We gotta think bigger, and that's what reading does. It gets you-.

Speaker 2:

Yeah definitely.

Speaker 2:

Shoot tomorrow's end on the moon. My big goal and it's to really be better about internalizing how much I love what I do and how grateful I am to be able to do this, because I feel like that's my personal biggest challenge is the mental health part of it. I feel like I think about my 20s I'm 31 now. My 20s was all about just building this business and getting it off the ground and I almost feel like I blacked out doing it because I was so hustle, hustle, go, build, grind, go. And now that I'm in my 30s I'm trying to be more present and almost slow down and internalize how awesome this is and how I can help people doing what I love. So my big goal is just really enjoy my everyday.

Speaker 1:

I like that. I also want to correct me if I'm wrong, but I wanna clarify for those that are listening that she's not talking about a quick fix. She's not talking about getting what she has achieved in a short period of time. We need to appreciate, behind the scenes of those 10 years of what she said grinding, hustling, and you don't have any clue what she was doing. And so, as a business owner, you are literally grinding it out and you're working endless hours, holidays, and so you built this empire. And now you're like maybe it's because of the reading, maybe it's because of your genetics, who knows? But you have the capacity to go. You know what? Let's appreciate this.

Speaker 1:

I don't wanna do this for another 20 years, just grinding out and then look back and then have that regret, like so you're super intelligent, being able to recognize that. But what would be that advice you give to a newer trainer who is beginning, maybe at an Equinox? Because I get a lot of students who they'll work like 20, 30 hours a week for six months. They're like oh my God, I'm burned out. This just isn't for me. I'm like well, we really haven't really given that much effort at six months. There's people that are doing it for numerous, numerous years.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think when you first get into something like like as a trainer, I remember packing like my food and like three different outfits in the morning because I knew that I was just gonna live at the gym all day for the first year, like at least and that's honestly short I would say like three years. Like, if you're new to training, just like expect that you're gonna be out on that gym floor all fucking day. The longer you're out there, even if you're not training someone, but people will just see you, like someone's gonna see you and wanna work with you. Like I know, like I work with a lot of new trainers, like women in there, like from 20 to 25, and they're like I wanna become a trainer. And they start at this commercial gym and then they start telling me like well, I'm trained, I don't wanna be in that gym anymore, so I'm trained myself at another gym. But no, you need to be in that gym because most of the clients that I picked up at Equinox they saw me training myself and they're like I wanna do that. Like you need to be like clearly practicing what you preach, because the people who wanna work with you long term are gonna be the people who like find you not only like as a good trainer but like as like a mentor, like someone that they wanna be more like. So by you like showing that you show up and you do the work, like they're gonna wanna hang out with you and wanna do the work alongside you.

Speaker 2:

So expect like to grind but like at the same time, like you kind of asked me like how do you kind of take yourself back to like making sure that you're enjoying the work, cause you do have to find some enjoyment in it for it to last long term? Like I still like I talked about kind of like the grinding in my twenties I'm still living that exact same lifestyle. I still wake up at five every morning, read a little bit. I still go to the gym for a few hours in the morning and then I work with my online team midday and then I go back to the gym at night to work with my in-person girls. Like if you from the outside looking at my lifestyle, it looks exactly the same in my twenties, just mentally, I have like slowed down and like really taken it in, so it feels better. Love that. Did that answer the question?

Speaker 1:

Absolutely, that's beautiful. I'm gonna ramp up a little bit, not a lot.

Speaker 2:

Being present and like when you're training someone, like remind yourself like this is someone who I can like, truly help, like you're. It could be like the best part of their day. Like maybe they have a stressful work life, home life and like you're the maybe like the person that they can talk to about, like more personal things, or like someone like that they enjoy being around, so it could be like the highlight of their day. So like don't take that lightly. And then you're just making someone feel good. Like every time when people leave my gym at night, I'm like how do you feel you feel good? And like they'll be like, yeah, better than when I walked in. Like that's powerful, like that's why we do what we do. So just reminding yourself like how cool this is and we never have to put real clothes on, like I haven't put clothes on in years and I love that.

Speaker 1:

You train your people naked? What the hell, no well.

Speaker 2:

Just not a real pair of pants, shorts or light.

Speaker 1:

But I think that's where maybe some trainers get led astray is we're similar in the sense that we love being in the gym, or if I'm bored, I'm going to go to a gym and I'm going to fuck around and try a new exercise, I'm going to try to set a PR and do things that cause I know it makes me feel good. And I think maybe some trainers get into this, thinking it's going to be a nine to five. You clock in, clock out and all of a sudden you'll be making six figures and it's just super easy. But it's not like that at all.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you got to like to make it longterm, you got to really love it and you got to be those first few years you got to like be willing to just like live in the gym and then, once you establish yourself and you have a business rolling, then maybe you can get like pickier with your schedule. But I wouldn't go in thinking like I'm going to have this like perfectly laid out schedule and like I'm going to love everyone that I'm working with and like stuff like that.

Speaker 1:

I use this analogy of swimming, and it's like you're in the ocean and you're a new trainer. You have to swim and you don't know where the ending's going to be. You just have to swim. Why would you just swim a couple of strokes and then start looking around to see where everyone else is? Now just put your head down and do the work, and it's going to. You're going to move the needle, but in the beginning, action is what's really going to help you the most, showing up, like you said, your words, not mine.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, If you show up like I mean that's what the quote they say is like 80% of it is showing up, it's like more than that 90% is what my wall says so. Yeah, okay, it's like, it's all of it, it's like, that's like. I just think that's the only thing that works, especially today.

Speaker 1:

Everyone sits in their comfort zone and they're afraid to show up. So if you literally show up, then you will out hustle. The majority of quote unquote competition.

Speaker 2:

You don't have to be the smartest, you don't have to be the most talented, you don't have to be the best looking, you don't have to be like the best, you just have to be there every day.

Speaker 1:

Now I will challenge that, because you are a six foot hunk at who, strong as fuck. You have a degree in kinesiology. You have everything going for you. So, with that being said, what are some of your weaknesses? Do you have any in the gym? What's your mile time like? Do we do any cardio? What's?

Speaker 2:

that look like I haven't gone for a run.

Speaker 1:

You're not gonna miss. How long?

Speaker 2:

I have not gone for a run since 2015.

Speaker 1:

Now, is it Kathleen? Is it Catherine? What is your full name? Catherine Palmer. Catherine Palmer, we're talking eight years you haven't gone for a run. Yes, we have-.

Speaker 2:

Like I do. I go for walks. Get my steps in. I'm a big promoter of going for a walk. When in doubt, go for a walk, Mostly for the mental health.

Speaker 1:

You were giving me shit earlier because I wasn't doing leg, so here's what I'm willing to do I'm gonna do a leg workout if you can show up for a one mile run in the next seven minutes. Oh man.

Speaker 2:

Under seven minutes.

Speaker 1:

Well, that would be pretty fucking impressive If you do under seven 30, we call that a hunk hunk at standard, but crush all the other ones.

Speaker 2:

I'm gonna have to order some running shoes, maybe under nine minutes. I don't know what's running shoes.

Speaker 1:

What did you say?

Speaker 2:

It said maybe under nine minutes. That's even gonna be tough, but yeah, we'll think about it.

Speaker 1:

I think about it. All right, we'll see what we can do. And do you have favorite lifts in the gym? What's your rank in one or three For me? I'm a bench guy. I love my curls. What do you like?

Speaker 2:

I am also enjoying bench. I started benching not even that long ago. I've probably been benching for like two and a half years and I've really fallen in love with it. For years before that I was kind of like had that similar mindset like afraid to be too big, put on too much muscle benches for the men, like. My mindset on that has totally changed. So I love the bench press. So many women I work with also love the bench press, which I love. I like lunging, I like hip thrusting. Deadlifts are good. Probably don't have like the most ideal body for deadlifts, just cause my legs are really long and my arms are kind of short, so- there's fucking femurs.

Speaker 1:

They kill you every time.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but we're working with it, we're figuring it out, but, yeah, I like all of it. I genuinely enjoy my day, my time in the gym, pretty much every training session and it's it's a PR on bench. Pr on bench is 195. Oh shit that's impressive.

Speaker 1:

So you're getting 185 plus. That's great.

Speaker 2:

I need that 200, that's my next what I'm working for now.

Speaker 1:

So a couple last little topics. You have some of the most impressive post-completed lift little dances. I saw this one. I liked that you were doing like. That just yells confidence. I was laughing at you. And then you also did a badass one with your bench, because you see that inner-gymastic girl in you, because you do this crazy back arch at the end and you come up and it's like that's impressive. Where did that stuff come from?

Speaker 2:

So, yeah, that's just like me, I would say, enjoying myself training. Because, for from like early 20s to like even like late 20s, I'd put all this pressure on myself and I had so much performance anxiety and like I would cry a lot in the gym when I would like not feel my best and, like a few years ago, I finally just said, fuck this, this is supposed to be fun. And so I kind of just started like dancing more between sets and like adding that in as part of my just training sessions. And I was a gymnast, so I have that gymnast dancer like vibe in me. But yeah, the conventional is just to have it now to go like this after every rep.

Speaker 1:

So I want to see that on your chin-ups, because I haven't seen you do a dance after the chin-ups. Those are the ones that are kind of stale.

Speaker 2:

We gotta step up a little bit I'll come up with one after this.

Speaker 1:

There we go, so let's dabble in the last topic, which is always fun and a sensitive topic for people, but dating what is that like? Oh, you said a couple of things right there where you're confident, that scares your shit out of most dudes, because guys are betas today, and especially in LA, these guys are just little fellas and they don't have testosterone, they don't have confidence, and so you probably get a lot of terrible what they think are compliments Like oh my God, you're so tall, probably get that all the time, huh.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so I get in my DMs.

Speaker 1:

Oh God.

Speaker 2:

I get a ton of steroid comments or like she's too big comments. So yeah, like I would say probably 10 years ago that would have gotten to me. But now it's just like kind of like what you said. Like if you were to click on this guy's page like eh, he's like he's never been to a gym before, he's never seen like a muscle mommy before. So I get, I get why he would like, not you know when people on the internet are just not whatever.

Speaker 1:

That's another story, right when they're just terrible and guys they slide into DMs and it's their insecurity and so it's fun. I love fucking with people. So if that was me, I would be like, let me guess four inches and just leave a question mark and, because you know, that just crushed your ego because they're so insecure to comment and it makes them feel better, ironically. But what about? What about it in person? In person, how's it meeting people out there? Do you have people come up and chat with you? What's your serendipitous story? Your, your Cinderella.

Speaker 2:

So I mean I spend a lot of time alone because I have my own gym and my preference is to train alone. So most days of the week I'm training by myself in my own gym with my dog. So and I always like jokingly say like no boys allowed, but I'm just kidding, but no, when I go out like to a commercial gym or something like, I'm never approached like negatively, like I'll have people ask me like what I do, you know, like it's never. I think people are just more negative on the internet because they're hiding. That's terrible.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, but what about, like some pickup lines, do we have any stuff? You're like oh my God, I can't believe. You just said that your overall post on dudes.

Speaker 2:

No, I don't like it. No dudes are looking at me, so I'm gonna take over a minute.

Speaker 1:

And why do you think that is it? Do you see a difference in dating now as a 2020, almost four? Do you think there's a change in the expectation? Maybe we're trying to get it easier, in the sense that it's like why would I wanna go talking about fear earlier was working out. Why would I put myself in that vulnerable state when I could just hide behind my dating app or my Instagram and send a DM, because that's a lot less scary?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I talk about that. Like I train a lot of women who are like in relationships or like also single and kind of like exploring the dating apps and stuff. I was talking to my client, monique, about this last night, who's also single at 37. So I'm 31 now. I've been. My last long-term relationship was like over three years ago.

Speaker 2:

But yeah, I think the older like for me personally the older I get, the more like sure I am of myself and like what I want and so like I can recognize immediately like whether this guy like I feel we would add value to each other's lives, like I don't and I've built this life for myself. That feels very good. So like I just feel that I can be pickier now with who I let in. Versus 10, eight years ago I was kind of like I was much younger, like you. Just I just think about my, the way that I thought at 24 compared to the way that I think now at 31. I wouldn't date now who I was dating when I was 24. So I think it gets harder with age because you're more established, you know who you are, so I don't know, and then yeah six feet tall and like 200 pounds, so it's a tower over most men.

Speaker 1:

And I like that because I don't know if it was from Ryan or reading one of his I love his emails or if it was a click off from one of the people, but they were talking about dating today, and what you shouldn't do is force yourself into relationship. I need to get on the app. I need to find someone, become more interesting, because then you're making yourself more valuable to the to market, and so when you look at what you're doing, you're strong as hell, you're focused, you're dedicated and you're reading and you're doing you, and that's exactly what you should be doing, and you're smart enough to know that you don't want to be a cog in the system and follow what everyone else is doing just because they're doing it, and at the end of the day, you're going to have your serendipitous story, and I love that word. I love vocab words. My favorite words is ostentatious. What's your favorite vocab word?

Speaker 2:

Oh man, I don't think I'm those are big words Trying to think I don't know. I don't think I can think of that right now.

Speaker 1:

Put your spot. It's OK, but we'll go over that in the next book club call. We always have a word.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, what's my favorite?

Speaker 1:

word I'm trying to think. I love stumping people and just using. I train a lot of lawyers and CEOs and so I like to come up with creative ways to stump them, because I'm insecure as well and I'm thinking you know this person is is. I'm not saying you're insecure, I'm saying we have those natural thoughts. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

No, we're all insecure, that's OK.

Speaker 1:

They're really successful. They're crushing it as a lawyer, as a startup, whatever, and so I like to see how can I stump them and get them to think differently today, because I bet you, a lot of people don't challenge them to think a little differently, and when you're able to do that, I think you're just, you're allowing yourself to be who you are Confidently and that's what you're doing, and so you're doing great with everything. And this was a lovely conversation. I know that we just met, but I always like to throw it out there and do you have any questions for me or anything out there?

Speaker 2:

Damn, you put me on the spot again. No, I think I think we covered a lot of good things today. I think the biggest takeaway is feel the fear and do it anyway. I think you and I both, as business owners, can say that we feel that fear all the time, but we do the thing anyway, and that's that's the difference between success and not doing anything.

Speaker 1:

That's why I wrote the book how to Become a Successful Trainer. We're trying to change the industry one qualified, certified trainer in a time like T and I'm very fortunate that we're able to connect over this and thank you for your time today and, like I always like challenging people. But I guarantee you what's going to happen is after this. So many people are going to reach out to you and be like I didn't know your story because you don't talk in your story very much, do you no?

Speaker 1:

I need to do more of that, but this is going to be that. That moment, I guarantee you, because people are going to hear it back holy shit, that's such a cool story. I didn't know that about you. And they're going to reach out to you and your DMs and all of a sudden you're like wow, I can help a lot more people, so where can everyone find you?

Speaker 2:

I'm mostly on Instagram. My first and last name, katie Stonier, and then from there you can find my website and you can sign up for train with Katie, and that would be the best way to work with me online. Or, if you are local to Melbourne, Florida, you can come into my gym. I'd love to train you there as well, I love it.

Speaker 1:

Now we got to end off on a social media flex. All right, let's check those out.

Speaker 2:

There we go.

Speaker 1:

Oh, remember, keep showing up.