PRP 52 | The 3 Biggest Christmas Mistakes We Make - A Better Christmas Series

 In this Christmas conversation, Pastors Lindsey, Joe, and Joel sit down to share both the joy and the real challenges we face during the holiday season. From overspending to overcommitting to overlooking what matters most, they unpack the three most common mistakes we all make—and how to choose a more meaningful, peaceful, Christ-centered Christmas instead. Filled with personal stories, practical wisdom, and pastoral insight, this episode will help you enter Advent with intention, create space for what truly matters, and keep Jesus and loving people at the heart of the season.

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Transcript

Speaker 1 00:00:10  You're listening to the new reality podcast from Reality Church. Each episode is a conversation about what it means to be real people pursuing a better reality in Jesus.

Lindsey 00:00:27  Welcome, everybody to the Pursuit Reality Podcast. It is Pastor Lindsay here, and it is really good to have you back with us. And I have got two wonderful people with me. I've got Pastor Joe.

Joe 00:00:40  Hi, everybody.

Lindsey 00:00:41  And I've got Pastor Joel.

Joe 00:00:43  Hey everybody.

Lindsey 00:00:44  We got the one with the L and one without the L, so I have to keep that straight on this podcast.

Joe 00:00:49  Right on the end.

Lindsey 00:00:50  Yeah. And we are all here together in, talking about something really special. And that's the Christmas season. We're in advent when this releases and we're all up in our Christmas fields right now thinking about Christmas, planning for Christmas, and everyone listening, hopefully is starting to think about that too. It's such a special season. Do you guys love Christmas?

Joe 00:01:14  It just love Christmas.

Lindsey 00:01:16  What is? Let's just dive in. Because when I most people love Christmas.

Lindsey 00:01:21  Not everyone, but most. What is? I just want to know from you guys what is one Christmas memory that when you think of Christmas, this always comes up because it's so special or joyful or maybe something that makes you cringe or laugh like, oh, that was that was kind of an awkward Christmas moment. Do you guys have any of those?

Joe 00:01:41  Yeah. Oh my goodness, so many memories of Christmas for me. I have some very vivid ones of growing up that were just really wonderful and special. My parents really poured into that time of year and, so many of them with, with raising our kids that were just amazing. I would say the, the time, one of the memories that I remember the best over the last 20 years of Christmas was a time when we had the kids all loaded in the car, and there was at least one of them that was in a car seat, and we had presents that we were bringing around to families that were in need.

Lindsey 00:02:16  Oh, nice.

Joe 00:02:17  And we got to, with our kids, take these gifts up to the doorsteps of families that some of them weren't even expecting it. Yeah. And that was that was a real neat experience for us as.

Lindsey 00:02:30  Your kids still talk about.

Joe 00:02:31  That. you know, what they they they have. Yeah. But I can't say.

Lindsey 00:02:36  I should ask them about it.

Joe 00:02:37  Yeah, I bet you if I do, they'll remember. I bet it was.

Lindsey 00:02:39  Pretty significant for them.

Joe 00:02:40  Too. Yeah. That was just such a great time. Great experience. Because it's when you do that at Christmas time, it just something changes about it that something like that.

Lindsey 00:02:47  Yeah, yeah. What about you, Joel?

Joel 00:02:49  That's awesome. Yeah. I have so many, really nostalgic, really special memories when it comes to Christmas. I also have a few cringey ones. I grew up in a household where, you know, there was lots of different things that you were involved in with Christmas Eve services at church and whatnot.

Joel 00:03:07  And so there was one Christmas Eve where I was a part of the Christmas Eve play and, well, the, the, the time came around for me to say my like, one line got my line. Oh no, it was the absolute worst. And that night happened to be, man, I don't know, it was, it was, it was just perfect outside and it actually did snow a little. So it was like a white Christmas Eve kind of thing. It was picturesque. And I just could not get out of my head that I missed my line in front of the whole church. I was so embarrassed. And then I, you know, I just the whole rest of the Christmas and the days after, I was just thinking about that, I was like, and I wish I could go back in time and just grab that little little boy Joel and be like, hey, just forget about that. Nobody cares. Oh!

Lindsey 00:03:55  Oh, man, those all those childhood Christmas traumas.

Joel 00:03:59  Yeah.

Lindsey 00:04:01  Well, we're today talking about, how to be purposeful about Christmas and to actually not just hope for the best, but to go into it with purpose and intentionality. And I wanted to talk today about maybe three of the biggest mistakes we make. Like, we know we make these mistakes and we hit January and we're like, why did I do that? Or why wasn't I more purposeful about that? And we're actually before Christmas now, so we can talk about it now and decide ahead of time. I'm not going to make those same mistakes. I'm actually going to be intentional in these specific areas, because I think there's some pretty common things that we all do, and we all know that we do it. but we don't have to. We actually can make it the Christmas that we desire. And so I want to talk about those today and kind of get your guys's input and to help us a little bit to have a good Christmas. And the first one I wanted to talk about, if we were to talk about pitfalls, and I think this is one of the most common ones,

Joe 00:05:12  Is know where you're going with this, Lindsay.

Lindsey 00:05:15  And especially for some people, more than others, it is spending more than you have. If I think about Christmas and what can really protect it and make it special and like we hit January and we're not like, oh, I shouldn't have done that. It's in the area of spending, right? Because it kind of the thing of Christmas is the gifts, like Thanksgiving is the eating and the Christmas is giving, right? And so often we hit January and we're like, why did I do that in February and March? Because we're still paying paying that off. When you guys think about that. why do you think overspending is such number one? Why do we do that? Like, we know. Like, for a lot of us, it's most Christmases. We know we shouldn't. And we do. Yeah. What what what's going on there?

Joel 00:06:07  For us, it's almost like we've given ourselves like this, this excuse like of, like, oh, you know, we can be good the rest of the year or something.

Joel 00:06:16  But when it comes to Christmas, man, it's, it's for others. Right. And so we gotta buy all these things. And I think what ends up happening is, as you're buying these presents for others, as you're, as you're thinking about, you know, okay, I gotta get this and get that and I gotta get the, the we oftentimes then elevate our whole lifestyle because of that. And so we're like, okay, I want this for myself as well. And I gotta get the really nice turkey or I gotta get the really nice thing, you know, to wear to, to this Christmas event or whatever and all, suddenly it just becomes the month of December is just inflated and, you know, you regret.

Lindsey 00:06:50  It's not just the gifts.

Joel 00:06:51  Yeah, yeah.

Joe 00:06:52  It's.

Lindsey 00:06:52  Free and the outfit.

Joe 00:06:53  Just keeps going.

Joel 00:06:54  Well, you got to stop at Starbucks and get your holiday drink to do your holiday shopping.

Lindsey 00:06:58  Yeah, right.

Joe 00:06:59  All right.

Lindsey 00:07:00  Let's look a little convicted there.

Joe 00:07:03  Yeah, they are good.

Lindsey 00:07:04  They they are good.

Joe 00:07:05  Why do you think? Yeah, I agree with you, Joel. I think that's such a great point. And we just keep going with it. And, you know, I think it's good to just pause in that aspect of how much money we're spending or how much we're doing and really just think about who are we doing this for. Like I don't know you guys like I don't mean to be a jerk about it, but I think a lot of times when we buy so many gifts or go way above and beyond and we're saying we're doing it for other people, we're really doing it for ourselves, like we feel good about it. There's something about it that we really feel is exciting to step in and be able to give those gifts to that person. It's really not. It's come a lot of times it can come back to. It's something that we're getting something out of.

Joel 00:07:44  Trying to prove something or trying to prove.

Joe 00:07:46  Something, you know.

Joe 00:07:47  And again, every situation is different. And I don't really know that that applies 100%. But I think sometimes at least it does. And so it's good to pause and say, all right with what I'm about to do, you know, which maybe also leads. Do we have a plan for what I'm going to do for Christmas? And then do I stick to that plan? Or do I just wing it, you know.

Lindsey 00:08:04  And just see what happens?

Joe 00:08:06  Just see what happened. Just keep buying and see what happens in January.

Lindsey 00:08:09  And it's easy to lose track.

Joe 00:08:10  It is.

Lindsey 00:08:11  It it. And if you're married one spouse is spending something. The other spouse is spending something. So then it's like doubles.

Joe 00:08:18  Yeah.

Lindsey 00:08:18  Doubles up everything.

Joe 00:08:19  And so if you think of who it is that you're buying for, let's say just sticking with gifts, do they really expect you to spend $500 on them?

Lindsey 00:08:26  Yeah.

Joe 00:08:27  You know. Or would they really be fine if you spend 50?

Lindsey 00:08:30  Yeah, yeah.

Joe 00:08:31  I don't know.

Lindsey 00:08:32  Yeah. I think to parent, if you're a parent, I think there's a lot of pressure. I don't know where it comes from. It's self-imposed. Maybe to like give your kids like this. Like, ideal Christmas that they really need this.

Joel 00:08:49  Yes.

Lindsey 00:08:50  And do you want it to be these great memories that they never forget? And we attach that to the gifts themselves, rather than other things that are actually making memories?

Joel 00:09:02  Yeah. And I wonder how many people are really trying to go back in time and fulfill something for themselves that they felt like was was missing out of the meaning of Christmas. And so they're wanting to make that really special for their kids now, and they're wanting to kind of say, hey, how can I repair this in the here and now for my family? And it ends up, unfortunately, kind of turning into the opposite side of the cycle that you wouldn't want to be on. Yeah.

Joe 00:09:28  Yeah, that's really a great point.

Lindsey 00:09:30  So so what have you guys done to kind of say I'm deciding ahead of time that I'm going to not regret what I spend.

Joe 00:09:39  Yeah, yeah. So I would say for Joanne and I, I would also back up for a minute and say we do a lot of Christmas for our kids. So we are a family who likes to have a bunch of gifts under the Christmas tree when the kids come down, especially when they were young. And we really tried to do that. And so knowing that, first of all, we talk about it together and we prepare together. So from the from the standpoint of how much money are we going to spend and how are we going to have the money that we want to spend a Christmas? How are we going to plan to have that? When it comes time to to buy it in Joel. And then we'll start in October buying gifts for for the kids or for, you know, for the family, spreading it out a little bit over the course of the budget and, and but sticking to what it is for the most part that we said we're going to do.

Lindsey 00:10:23  Yeah, that's really good.

Joel 00:10:25  Yeah. Yeah. I mean, being someone who is younger in my Christmas gift buying years and budgeting and all that kind of stuff, I would say that one thing that really has stuck out to Julia and me and my wife, Julia and I is just the fact that when when we ask others what their budgets are for Christmas or what they're planning to spend or whatever. We're always blown away at the differences in different people and different families, and it really starts to really shape your perspective and go, oh, it doesn't have to be this way that I think it needs to be. And there's all sorts of avenues that you can go down with that, right? So if you are the family that's like, hey, we want to go above and beyond at Christmas with gifts. Great, awesome. Go ahead, plan it. Be intentional about it, you know. But there's also, I think, another avenue that you can be where where you go down and you can say, hey, we are going to be a family that is, is is a little bit more limited, a little bit more stripped back.

Joel 00:11:26  Okay. Well, how can we double down on the intentionality behind those special small gifts when we're doing that?

Lindsey 00:11:31  Yeah, I think that's really good. And looking at just not just the gifts themselves but experiences and moments.

Joel 00:11:36  Yep.

Lindsey 00:11:38  it's a little too late for that. But my husband and this is only for people that are listening that like to do this. But when we, it was brand new to me My family growing up spent too much at Christmas. It kind of stressed me out as a kid, to be honest, because I knew, like, we don't have this money. Oh, and and I knew that. And then I, I would pick up on that stress. but my husband starts every January putting aside a little bit of money for Christmas. And we do it January, February all the way until. So when we get there we have the cash sitting right there and we decide kind of what we need to spend. And then we just call it good. And that's the money we have.

Lindsey 00:12:21  So we're not thinking, you know, in January we need to come up with this extra money, even though we've decided. So it is helpful.

Joe 00:12:30  It sure is.

Lindsey 00:12:31  Okay. Pitfall number two.

Joe 00:12:33  oh.

Lindsey 00:12:35  Being busier than you want to be. I feel like this is a really big one. I already talking to people. Can feel like people stress. Like they've just got the work commitments and like all the work parties and then all the friend parties and all the family stuff, and then we've got to go get the Santa pictures and the this and the that and write.

Joe 00:13:01  The decorations up. Go get the Christmas tree. Yeah. Go by, the presents.

Lindsey 00:13:04  Go by and I just get tired. I'm I'm actually feeling a little sleepy thinking about that right now. there's a lot coming at us in the month of December. I don't know if we all think that December, like, kind of magically multiplies its hours. And we do. How can we discern like we're going to do more in December, right? How how have you guys discerned, like what you say yes to what we engage because a lot of them, they all feel kind of important.

Lindsey 00:13:38  How have you guys figured that out in your life in all your wisdom.

Joel 00:13:44  Yeah. Well let me first say I'm still figuring it out. Yeah. Joel, I I've, I've looking at my schedule, for the month of December and I'm just like, wow, there is already a lot in it. And I think that one way that Julia and I are continuing to say, okay, how can we make December and the holiday season feel still special and, and and not get lost in in the source of everything is trying to make sure that, we're, we're really looking at at the, at the calendar and really blocking out evenings as still simple family evenings. Just because it's the month of December doesn't mean that you have to say yes to every single event that you get invited to, or every single thing, because it's going to go up, it's going to double. It's going to triple in the amount of invites that you're getting. And so I think that we can try to, as much as possible, stick to our typical rhythms and schedules.

Joel 00:14:41  That's going to help you then be able to when when that special event does come up that you're going to want to say yes to and you do say yes to that, that's going to make that one all that more special because you actually have the space to enjoy it rather than being like, I.

Speaker 5 00:14:54  I've just been going to so many things.

Joel 00:14:56  And I can't even enjoy this and think that I really do want to enjoy.

Lindsey 00:14:59  Yeah.

Joe 00:15:00  Yeah I think that's good Joel, I do and these things come and go for us in life. Right. Like a I think now for Joel and I were empty nesters and our Decembers aren't, aren't as busy as they used to be. and and so that's a that's an interesting we have more space to make decisions, maybe even in the last minute way. I know when the kids were, especially in their teenage years, it seemed like there was all these opportunities, lots of families that we were connected with in the community through the sports and things and, and we were being invited to a lot of things and we would just make a decision ahead of time.

Joe 00:15:35  That said, here's how many nights we would start with, here's how many nights a week that we want to be home and we want to just have our family and then we might move things around or something might come up that we didn't expect, that we felt like was important or we really wanted to do. And so we would try to cancel something, even if it was the next week. But we tried to stick to that certain number, that we decided on together and, and and fit in around that. It's not easy. Sometimes when you say no to if you have a lot of demands, especially if it's family. Yeah. That's asking you to do something. That's that's a hard thing.

Lindsey 00:16:05  Well okay. So let's go there. Yeah. especially I think for people sometimes we think about it when you're newly married and now you've just doubled your family commitments are now times too. And then but I would say there's still some people that aren't newly married that are trying to do that. They're trying to do all they've been trying to maintain this for years.

Lindsey 00:16:31  Yeah. And they're like I don't know if I can do another Christmas.

Joe 00:16:34  So exhausting.

Lindsey 00:16:35  How do you discern. Because it's family.

Joe 00:16:39  Yeah.

Lindsey 00:16:40  Yep. Yep. That's suppose That's what Christmas is all about, is like. That's I think most people would say you're basically connected to your family. The family is priority rather than maybe you're in a work party. Yeah, that feels a little easier to me. How do you how have you seen that navigated well?

Joe 00:16:58  Yeah, I know we have mistakes that we made was early on when the kids were really young. We would get up very early, have Christmas at our house. Right. Celebrate it, do all the things, all the fun stuff. Then we'd go over to Bill and Patty's and we would have awesome Christmas with them. Then sometime later afternoon, we'd pack everybody in the car and we would drive three hours north to my to my parents. Wow. Sometimes even further to my sister who lived in Binghamton, New York at the time.

Lindsey 00:17:27  Wow.

Joe 00:17:27  And it was exhausting. And the kids would be exhausted. And there was this adrenaline that came with it too, that that when you came down, you were even more exhausted. And so we did it. I don't know if two, three, four or something like that. And then we, we got wise and we said, we started saying this is what we're going to do. Yeah. And at first it feels awkward to do that with your family, especially when you're younger and you're, you know, you're young, a young adult or you're newly married and your kids are young and your parents want to see your young kids, but most, most parents are going to respect it. And, and, I think it's good to make those decisions at a time.

Joel 00:18:03  Well, here's the thing with that. Oftentimes, like I, I think we're so wanting to we we feel like it's an equation to try to figure out our schedule and try to please mom and dad or please aunt whoever.

Joel 00:18:16  Right. And we got to get to all these places. And it's this big equation. And I think that when you look at it, if you if you try to stop solving to please and you start solving for peace, I think that it really. So if you stop solving to please but start solving for peace and and that's the thing right there where I think that oftentimes we're.

Speaker 5 00:18:33  Like, oh no.

Joel 00:18:33  We can't, we can't do what we want. We should really do what mom and Dad wants or we should really do to whatever. But no, it's it's not that you're doing just what you want. You're not trying to. Oh, I'm being selfish. You're not being selfish. What you're really doing is your body is craving. Your whole soul is craving peace over the holidays. So listen to what you know is going to bring you and your spouse or your family unit. Peace.

Joe 00:18:58  Oh that's good I feel peace just listening to you. Don't talk about that. Yes.

Lindsey 00:19:03  Yeah. And I think that it's so interesting because sometimes what makes the family and Christmas so special is not the big events.

Lindsey 00:19:15  It's the in-between space that like you said yeah, it's those making space where there is nothing happening so that you can unpack the Legos and build Legos with your kids rather than, okay, you know, get everything in the car and off to the next thing.

Joe 00:19:34  Yes.

Lindsey 00:19:34  And just have those special moments together. Yeah, but you have to create space where it's like, I don't know what we're going to do.

Joel 00:19:41  Yep.

Lindsey 00:19:42  And that's the whole point.

Joe 00:19:43  And I think Lindsay in that too, I think especially now. So we're recording this. I'm not sure when this podcast is going to be released, but

Lindsey 00:19:50  First week of advent.

Joe 00:19:51  First week of advent. Wonderful. So here in a couple of weeks. I would say if you make that decision now to, to slow down a little bit and give yourself some space to plan for Christmas to be more meaningful. Yeah. In meaning beyond just giving presents. I think there's a lot to there if we think about that and we pray and we, we even ask the Lord and we say say God, how can I make this Christmas the most meaningful outside of just, buying gifts? We need time to think about that, to put some of those things in play.

Joe 00:20:21  Yeah. Within that holiday, that Christmas, that Christmas Eve, what can you do with your family that's going to make that time more meaningful? Because their gifts are going to be there and they're great. We're going to have the food. But what can we do to. And I would say encourage us to invite the Lord into those times in different creative times, with us as the family, to make the memories, mean something that are tied to what the real meaning of the time is. The season is.

Lindsey 00:20:47  And it enables us to just actually be present.

Joe 00:20:50  Yeah, that's really true.

Lindsey 00:20:52  To actually when we are with those people. We're not stressed. We're not exhausted. We're actually able to be fully present with one another. That's good. Yeah. And not at the end of our rope. Okay. Pitfall number three. Oh this is, this is a little pastoral, but everybody can just hear us out.

Joe 00:21:10  Oh, this is a good one.

Lindsey 00:21:13  Why not make it about Jesus and loving people? That pitfall of making Christmas about all the other stuff which is special to Jesus, like Jesus is in the business of joy and memories and carols.

Lindsey 00:21:28  You know, all that. And eating and feasting like Jesus is all about that. But in this, in this way of not making it about Jesus and loving people. and it's so easy to get, on the other side of Christmas, and it just felt basically like a 4th of July great holiday, but doesn't necessarily have a lot to do with Jesus. The, you know, the church calendar or something, so to speak. Don't send me emails. But you know what I mean. Yeah. And this is about the birth of Jesus. This is about being the people that follow Jesus and love his people. what helps you personally stay connected to Jesus and loving people during the season? How do you see this goes awry? So I feel like.

Joe 00:22:17  Oh my goodness. Well, I mean, it's a great it's such a great question. Right? And I just so appreciate Lindsey leading us into this. And everybody that's listened to this that cares about this, to make say, okay, how can we really look at making this what Jesus made it to be? You know, so the first thing that comes to mind when I think of that question is.

Joe 00:22:36  Some of the things that, many of us deal with emotionally that happen to us, it feels like they happen to us during the Christmas season. So, so many people, we can make it out to be this joyous, wonderful time. And it isn't supposed to be. But for many people, it's a very sad and depressing time. And, I found that people often are triggered into a more depressive state at Christmas, and going into it, they probably know that that's going to happen. Or there's a likelihood that it's going to happen or they're going to interact with someone who they know struggles with something emotionally. During that time I think it's great to look at that. If it's you that, you know it's a hard time for you or it's going to be that aunt or uncle or grandparent or parent and think about what can I do to shift that a little bit Because I think it's one of the biggest things that steals from us at the holidays is when we experience some kind of brokenness relationship relationally.

Joe 00:23:44  And you can't always avoid it. You can't always shake yourself out of it. maybe you never can shake yourself out of it, but maybe there's things that you can do to that are gonna help the people around you.

Lindsey 00:23:59  Tell me more about that. Like, give me an example of what that looks like. Like what's what's the outcome of this.

Joe 00:24:09  Yeah. I was talking to a friend of mine that, recently that shared, he, he had a close family member that every Christmas the person would be out and about with the family for half an hour and then would go into a room by themselves in, in the dark. And it was a memory because it was every year. And that had an impact on on him, had an impact on the person that did it. I've, I know for some people, they'll, they'll disengage. They'll be there, but they'll disengage in many ways because of probably lots of reasons. sometimes it's fine. Everybody understands. Other times it's things that have a real impact on the people that are around them.

Joe 00:24:57  And so I'm not trying to give any simple answers. Yeah. Lindsay and Joel I don't I don't know that there is any. Yeah. But I think if we honestly look at starting with ourselves and we say, if I, if I know this is going to be a tough time for me emotionally, what can I do to help the people around me love? How can I love sacrificially the people around me as I go through this difficult Christmas season? Yeah. And come out on the other side in January and say, you know what? I'm really I'm, I, I was able to connect. I'm proud of of of some of the ways I pushed through some things. And conversely, if you know you're going to interact with somebody that has a hard time, what are the things you can do to to make that better? I don't know if there's answers or not.

Joel 00:25:42  Yeah.

Lindsey 00:25:44  Yeah I do think. No it's really good and I think it is So often we talk and there's another episode coming up about how to handle challenging family dynamics, but I think it's really good for us to talk openly that sometimes we're the challenging family dynamic.

Lindsey 00:26:06  That's what I one what I hear you saying. sometimes we're the one that struggles at Christmas. Sometimes we're the one that's like I shouldn't have said that. I promised my wife I wouldn't talk about politics and frustrate my kids. And I did.

Joe 00:26:27  Like or I promised I wouldn't argue with with Aunt Judy about.

Joel 00:26:32  The way we kind of slip back into our family role that we've always held, and we're like, why? Why did I become that person again?

Joe 00:26:39  Especially Joel. We had some drinking too. Yeah, and we had some overeating and we're exhausted.

Joel 00:26:46  And suddenly we're back in that little, little family role that we've always fit into back.

Lindsey 00:26:50  And we're seven years old again.

Joel 00:26:52  Yeah. Beating ourselves up, going, why was I like that?

Lindsey 00:26:55  Yeah. And I think it's really good because I think this Christmas you could start. And then especially future Christmases to get with a friend or mentor or reconnect with your counselor and say I know I'm like this. Not in a shameful way. But in an empowering way to say, I, I know it's hard for me or I know I, I do things I regret that I shouldn't have.

Lindsey 00:27:24  Then relationship with my cousin or my aunt or my kids is a little difficult for January and February. It kind of comes around, but we don't have to do that. We could we it's not going to magically become perfect, but we can anticipate that and say, okay, what could I do to to make it different. what are some of those things that you think people could do. I could think of a few.

Joe 00:27:51  Yeah. Lindsay I think you should tell us.

Lindsey 00:27:53  Well I, I think one is inviting people. If you have those relationships in your family, people that will be with you, give them permission to come alongside you. Give them permission to give you some feedback. It's very humbling. Say I give you permission to say hey hey hey pull back a little bit past Christmases. Yeah.

Joe 00:28:17  Past times were together. What what have I done? That's been hard.

Lindsey 00:28:20  Yeah. And even in the moment, like you see how I get. Help me navigate what it looks like for me to step back appropriately and what it means for me to maybe.

Lindsey 00:28:31  engage in a healthier way. I think for some people listening they shouldn't drink over Christmas.

Joe 00:28:36  It's really good. Lindsay. That's very.

Lindsey 00:28:38  True. Like some of you listening it's not worth it.

Joe 00:28:42  Like you know it triggers you you know.

Lindsey 00:28:45  Yeah. It brings your guard down. You say things that you wish you wouldn't say. You family feels different way around you. You think you're fine but you're active. You know they've told you you're actually not fine. And it's not about being drunk like at a frat party. It's just that 1 or 2 beers that actually kind of.

Joe 00:29:04  Yeah. Yes.

Lindsey 00:29:05  Or wine or whatever it is. that's not making it about Jesus and loving people. Yeah.

Joel 00:29:11  I think when we actually ahead of time go and ask people and get their, you know, these trusted people in our lives. Hey you know, would you have a conversation with me around how I can sometimes act around family during the holidays or whatever when we have a conversation with people about that ahead of time, you're actually opening up a door for a relationship that is is kind of different than what you might have done in past holidays, and it's kind of cool because then you can actually be spending time with this person, and that person can kind of be your, your, your buddy at the holiday event that you're thinking about, your sponsor.

Joel 00:29:46  Yeah, come alongside you. And yeah, I think it just creates a whole different dynamic. Why not do that?

Lindsey 00:29:52  It's so it's it's so beautiful actually to to build that connection. It really is by people.

Joe 00:29:58  If and it's just something that just hit me, as you were saying, that Joel was, you know, Jesus Christ, Christ left heaven and came down in a vulnerable place as a child, and he was very vulnerable and purposely placed himself into that position. I do wonder if we think about how can I make myself vulnerable to my family members with like, what one ways you described, what would that do for, giving us, the support that we actually need, even though it feels a little scary in the beginning?

Lindsey 00:30:34  Yeah. Yeah, it's really good. I think that's a great place. I. I'd love to ask you a final, question. If you could just invite everyone listening to just take one step listening to this. to not just walk away and be like, oh that was interesting, but actually invite them to one step.

Lindsey 00:30:56  What's something you would open an invitation to that they could do going from this episode.

Joel 00:31:01  Yeah. Here's my here's my invite to you. If you're listening to this podcast, I think that oftentimes we are we're planning to come to a Christmas Eve service or maybe we regularly we've been coming throughout, the month of December to church. And, you know, we're just loving it. There's no reason why you can't take one more step. I think that oftentimes we're thinking about people who are like, oh, like they come on Christmas and Easter or whatever, and I, I go to church regularly or whatever. And I think that this is an awesome season for you as well to to say, you know, yeah, I go to church regularly. I'm involved and engaged with church. This is a season for you to also take another step, just like all the other people that are coming to church just on Christmas, and they're taking a step with their faith this year, this is an opportunity for you to say, okay, I'm going to take a faith step and do something a little bit more than I normally do to connect with God as well, because I think that oftentimes, just like people who come to Christmas Eve services or come to Christmas, come to church for the first time in a long time on Christmas, it can change the trajectory of their whole upcoming year.

Joel 00:32:07  Yeah, it's the same thing applies for this. And so one thing I want to invite you into is to go ahead and participate in, in the the advent guide that we have, you can access that through our website. You can also get it on our Church Center app. Lindsay's going to tell you a little bit more about that, but I want to invite you to actually do that advent guide throughout this season. I think that's going to open up a lot of different opportunities for you to connect with Jesus and your own story throughout this holiday season.

Lindsey 00:32:33  Really good. What about you, John?

Joe 00:32:35  That's great. And I think just to piggyback piggyback off of what Joel is saying, I feel like, two things. Lindsay I'll give two to to close with. first is is in that invitation, I would I would think about who you could invite to come with you to Christmas church. and I know that's what I'm supposed to say in many ways as a pastor, but I, I, at the core of my being believe it's, it's super, important for for people that that, you know, that aren't exposed to podcasts like this and aren't exposed to Jesus in a different way of, of of approaching Christmas in life and, and potentially could change their eternity.

Joe 00:33:12  And so one step from here would be who who could you invite to come with you this Christmas? And the second. Second thing that's more for you, I would say, although that's for you too, because it's super meaningful when we do that. But it's it's to just take a little bit of time and say, this is what stood out for me. This is what stood out to me listening to this podcast. That is a weak area for my life, or how I go into Christmas, or how I spend or how I emotionally deal with things. And this is the plan I'm going to put in place. This is the plan I feel like the Lord is asking me to take, to be intentional, to shift that this year. Just decide one thing. Yeah, decide what you're going to do, or talk to a friend or a mentor or spouse and decide, I'm going to make this this change this year.

Lindsey 00:33:56  That is really good. And I think that as we just go to Jesus and respond to that invitation, it, he knows what's best for us and he knows how to help us and will give us that clarity.

Lindsey 00:34:11  And we can make this coming Christmas our best Christmas ever. Not perfect. There's no such thing as a perfect Christmas, but there can be a meaningful and special Christmas that we're walking and keeping. The main thing, the main thing of Christ came, and we're with our community and loving people and focusing on that. not the busyness, not the presents are special too, but not spending a bunch of money, but keeping the main thing the main screen, right? So thank you everybody for joining us. And I encourage you to keep listening, because we have a lot of resources to help you make this, a really, really good Christmas. We'll talk to you soon.

Speaker 1 00:34:56  Thanks for tuning in to the Pursue Reality Podcast. Reality church is a local church in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. To learn more or get connected, visit us at.