Hard Things Suck. Do Them Anyway.

In this episode, Corey explores the complexities of doing hard things, emphasizing that the challenge often lies not in the tasks themselves but in the emotional and psychological barriers we face. He discusses the importance of letting go of relationships and habits that no longer serve us, and how this process can feel akin to grieving. Corey also provides practical steps to overcome resistance, encouraging listeners to name their fears, start small, and redefine loyalty in their lives. Ultimately, he inspires listeners to embrace discomfort as a pathway to personal growth and fulfillment.

Chapters

00:00 The Challenge of Hard Things
04:18 Understanding Resistance and Change
08:35 Letting Go and Emotional Weight
11:46 Practical Steps to Overcome Hard Things
12:58 Make the Change

Transcript

corey strong (00:01)
Hello and welcome back to the Corey podcast. Why is this so hard to do hard things? That's the question I'm asking today. I'm not just talking about running marathons or quitting sugar. That's cute. I'm talking about real hard things like walking away from people who don't support you, letting go of stuff that no longer is good for your purpose or even pressing start on that thing you've been dreaming about.

keep putting off. Why is doing the right thing often the hardest thing? Today we're going in. This episode is for the people who feel stuck between who they are and who they're supposed to be.

it's serious, but don't worry. I'll make you laugh before it's over. Let's talk.

Hey guys, welcome back to the Corey podcast. I'm so glad you've decided to join me today. Listen, I want to talk about something that is really plaguing. I know the creative community and just anybody who really ever want to be anything or do anything in life. And it is the question as to why it is so hard to do hard things. Seems simple, right? But it's really not that simple,

Listen, have you ever sat down fully dressed to go to the gym

and somehow still just ended up sitting on the couch scrolling for 45 minutes to an hour or staring at a blank document for hours when you know you've got something to say?

You know, people love to throw around phrases like, don't want it bad enough. But here's the truth. Desire is not a strategy. Hard things stay hard because we've been taught that motivation should carry us. But guys, I have to let you know, it doesn't. Motivation is like that one friend who hypes you up to move and then mysteriously disappears when it's time to pack the boxes and the furniture.

Motivation is there at the beginning, but never helps you finish. I know I was always raised to feel motivated, stay motivated, look for things that will motivate you, hang around the right crowd of people who will bring you motivation. And I'm not saying that that's not somewhat helpful, but

It is not how we succeed.

So let me get scientific for a second. The brain is wired to conserve energy, to avoid discomfort, and to repeat patterns. That's why change, even good change, feels like death. Your brain treats it like a threat. So when you try to build a new habit or walk away from someone familiar, your body literally fights back. That ain't weakness. That's biology.

So that's maybe why that one friend keeps going back to that deadbeat boyfriend. It's a mental thing, you know? Not just because they're stupid.

I can remember One of the many times I was going to be consistent at working out. bought the gear. I posted a dramatic Instagram story, music and everything. Day one, I crushed it. Day two, barely made it. Day three, I rearranged my spice cabinet instead of going to the gym.

But it wasn't laziness, it was resistance. It was that deep primal resistance to changing a routine that had been keeping me comfortable.

even if it wasn't serving me. Here's the thing,

hard

doesn't mean impossible. It just means uncomfortable. And we hate being uncomfortable more than we love being great. I know I hate being uncomfortable. And a lot of times it has kept me from exploring opportunities that later on I wish that I had seized.

And by the way, when it comes to working out, have you guys heard of that 75 soft and 75 hard? I think I'm going to try the 75 soft just to see how that goes, but I'll keep you guys posted. You know I will.

going back to the idea of being uncomfortable, it is directly related to the grief of letting go. Letting go is often marketed like it's a glow up, montage, quick, clean, and empowering. But in real life, letting go can feel like grieving a death. Whether it's a person, a habit, a dream you've outgrown,

When you let go of something that once meant something to you, it really hurts. It hurts like hell, as Aretha would say. Even if that thing is draining you, it hurts. I once held on to a friendship that I had clearly outgrown. We hadn't had a real conversation in years. They never supported anything I did unless it benefited them. You know the story. I filled you guys in. But I kept telling myself,

We've known each other since high school. But knowing someone for a long time doesn't mean they're meant to go the distance. Some people are just background characters who stayed too long on set. And that's just the way you have to think of them. It took me months, literally, I have to be honest, years to admit that holding on to this person was actually holding me back.

And when I finally let go, I didn't feel empowered. I felt sad, to be honest, and that's okay. I think we fear ever feeling sad and to be human, sometimes You have to have sad emotions, any emotion that you're feeling, you have to embrace it. You can feel peace and pain at the same time. That's how you know that you are healing.

Alright now, let's talk about the petty stuff because I have to. I want to talk about normalizing the unfollow. Okay, so before you all get upset with hear

If your friend...

can post selfies every three hours but can't like your business post or your poetry, your promotion, your art, then what are we actually doing?

last week Kenisha Kuhn and I

not needing to have someone to validate what you're doing, but we also said

You know, it's nice to have that friend who will support you, who will hit like. And like Kenesha said, they see your posts. the fact of the matter is everyone's phone is glued to them. So if you don't see the post initially, you're going to see it at some point. And why is it so hard for you to hit like? You know, it shouldn't be that hard.

So if you want to hit unfollow, it's

just because you went to school with someone or you grew up together on the same block, it doesn't mean that you have to have them on your social media or in your digital space.

my golden rule, which is the Corey rule,

If your silence is louder than your

then I don't need a follow. I need freedom from you.

And I know some of you may say, that's just being petty. And okay, so what? Maybe it is. But unfollowing isn't always about beef either. And I think that's the first thing we go to like, my God, he unfollowed me. Or did you notice that one celebrity isn't following the other? I think it recently happened with Justin Bieber and Hailey Bieber.

It's just like those guys are married and if he did unfollow her, it probably was for a good reason. And it was none of our business.

Sometimes it's just about boundaries. You are allowed to outgrow people quietly.

it.

You are allowed to reclaim your piece without sending a newsletter. But let me be real here. It's not always easy. There's guilt. For one, I feel guilty when I unfollow someone for about five minutes.

There's also the second guessing like you might miss them or worry what they'll think. That's normal. We don't talk enough about the emotional weight of letting go, especially when it comes to friendships, but it's necessary. Your energy, guys, is too expensive to keep wasting on people who don't see your value. So hit that unfollow.

but make sure that you're following me because that's important.

So what can we do to move forward? Let's get practical. If you're stuck in that place where hard things feel impossible, here's what I need you to do. Number one, name the resistance. You know, I've always said, give something a name so that you can tackle that. Don't sugarcoat it. Say it out loud. I'm afraid they'll stop liking me.

I don't believe I'll finish it. I'm scared to be alone. Naming it takes away its power. Number two, start microscopic. Forget small steps. I want you to go microscopic. One pushup, one sentence, one conversation, one unfollow. Make it so small that resistance has nothing to fight against. Number three,

redefine loyalty. Loyalty doesn't mean holding on to people or things just because you used to love them. Be loyal to your future. That's what true loyalty is about. Being loyal to your future, not your past.

And four,

your circle. Are they clapping or are they just close? And if they're quiet when you shine, listen guys, they don't deserve to be in the front seat of your production. They just don't.

So guys, the fact of the matter is that doing hard things doesn't make you broken. It makes you human. every time you choose growth over comfort, you build a version of yourself that's harder to shake, harder to break, and a lot closer to who you really want to be. So here's my challenge for you this week. Unfollow someone who drains you. Write that first paragraph.

of that thing you've been avoiding. Make the hard choice that loves your future self. And I'm going to take those challenges along with you. episode gave you a little nudge, share it with someone who needs the same push. Maybe even push them off the seat. And of course, be sure to follow the

podcast over on Patreon, YouTube, Instagram. Talk to me. Send me some DMs. Just don't get crazy. I want to keep up with what you guys got going on and remember the hard thing is also the right thing. All right.

I'll see you guys next week. Bye.