Your Therapist Needs Therapy

Your Therapist Needs Therapy 126 - What My Mental Health Looked Like This Year

Jeremy Schumacher

Jeremy sits himself on the couch to reflect on what he did this year for his own mental wellness. 

As always, Jeremy has all his practice info at Wellness with Jer, and you can find him on Instagram and YouTube. To show your love for the show you can pick up some merch! We appreciate support from likes, follows, and shares as well! None of my online work would be possible without my media maven Kenny, so check out their work as well at kenlingdesign.com

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Podcasts about therapy do not replace actual therapy, and listening to a podcast about therapy does not signify a therapeutic relationship.

If you or someone you know is in crisis please call or text the nationwide crisis line at 988, or text HELLO to 741741. The Trevor Project has a crisis line for LGBTQ+ young people that can be reached by texting 678678.


Maybe I'll get a new intro for twenty

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twenty six.

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No guarantees on that.

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The autistic part of my brain really likes

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having the same intro over and over and

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over again.

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Party people, we are here solo this week.

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We being you, the listener and me.

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The recorder, the recordee.

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Anyway, I'm doing a solo episode.

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I gave myself a little bit of grace

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to not stress about having guests lined up

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for the holiday season.

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Not that that won't still happen,

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but it'll be a little bit of a

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streak of solo episodes here,

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more than I normally like to do just

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because I'm trying to not overwork myself

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during the holiday season and I'm trying

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to not stress out other people.

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It's really more the latter.

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It's more me not trying to bother people

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during the holiday season about recording

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when they might not want to record um

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and or we are recording but it's going

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to come out next year so a few

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solo episodes and that's not always the

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most fun for me as a podcast host

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content creator yuck both identities i

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don't like uh

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So how do I make an episode that

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is both interesting and maybe has some

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utility?

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And one of the things that's maybe a

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little strange about hosting this podcast

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is I don't talk about my own mental

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health that often,

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even though the theme and the vibe of

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the podcast is very much that everybody

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needs help with their mental health,

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even the professionals of which I am one.

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And so I thought it seems pretentious and

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I'm recording it anyway.

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I thought I would talk about what I

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did this year for my mental health.

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I always ask my guests,

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what they do to navigate their mental

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health.

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And that's like fruitful, right?

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That's interesting to me.

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There's some common themes because of my

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specialties and the other people in the

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field who work with it.

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So...

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None of this will probably be shocking or

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surprising, but again,

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hopefully keeping with the theme of the

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podcast to normalize that mental health is

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work for everybody and to pull back the

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curtain a little bit on my stuff because

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in the calendar year of twenty twenty

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five, it's been a shit show.

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And, you know,

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having a podcast and a YouTube channel are

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just slow ways to document my own

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deteriorating mental health.

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No, it's been a mixed bag,

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I would say,

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for my own mental health this year.

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I think sort of the standard stuff,

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having my own therapist,

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which is lovely and continues to be an

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important part.

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I probably have gone to more therapy this

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past year than I ever have before.

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That's probably not true.

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I've consistently,

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I've just made it a consistent practice

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and it feels pretty much comfortable

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without being like,

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boring, right?

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Because I'm aware as a therapist that I

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don't want to bore my therapist.

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I want to make sure that I'm not

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just checking a box of therapy,

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but actually have things to work on.

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And so that has been good and healthy

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for me this year.

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I started with a new therapist sometime

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last year,

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but I've continued into this year with

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that therapist.

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Somebody who isn't at all in my network,

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which took a, not just, I mean,

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obviously I've not seen somebody who takes

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insurance because fuck those insurance

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companies.

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But also seeing somebody who just doesn't

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know me at all,

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which did take a good bit of searching

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actually between the podcast and some of

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the other stuff I do.

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I'm not like well known,

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but the degrees of separation between

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people who know me and people who then

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are one degree separated from me is a

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lot smaller than it used to be.

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Just have a much wider network.

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which is good.

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Part of the podcast was to network.

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So that's good.

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But yeah,

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I have a therapist who not only is

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like safely tucked away from all of my

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professional identity,

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but also has the specialties that I really

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needed somebody to have.

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So that's been a real joy.

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One of the main things that has always

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sort of kept me functional throughout

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my life as far as back as I

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have functional memory has been engaging

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in sports and physical activity.

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And this was the worst year for that.

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And actually,

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I don't know that it's the most growth

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I've done.

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It just sort of made me realize how

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much of a pillar my health and wellness,

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my physical health has been,

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how much of a privilege being able to

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body has been.

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I've had a shoulder injury.

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for twenty-some years.

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I quit playing baseball when I was

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seventeen years old because my shoulder

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hurt so bad.

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I was taking ibuprofen in between innings

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while being a baseball pitcher.

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I was like, that's not good.

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And I went to see the trainer because

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my dad was my coach,

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which also isn't good.

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I get that some people's parents promote

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them unfairly and treat them as their

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special little butterfly,

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and that

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Some parents are extra doubly,

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triply hard on their kids.

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And that was my experience was the latter

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that parent who held me back because they

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needed me to be perfect instead of giving

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me the bend for the doubt or letting

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me stretch and grow in my own way.

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But yeah, so I had a shoulder problem.

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Went to see the trainer,

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popped my shoulder out.

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popped both my shoulders out told me i

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needed to get surgery i really wasn't

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having that much fun cva for mentioned

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comments about having my dad as a coach

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and um quit playing baseball and i think

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probably a year off helped but like i

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was pretty heavily disc golfing uh and

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then when i went to college as a

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walk-on at minnesota for their men's

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volleyball team and um

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volleyball swinging always hurt swinging

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using my arm swing to hit a ball

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always hurt less than throwing a ball did

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there's just less torque and um it would

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hurt after practice it would hurt after a

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long tournament but

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By and large, it was functional.

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I was able to maintain my speed and

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velocity.

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I was able to play the way I

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wanted.

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And then early in my career,

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I worked across the street from a YMCA.

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And so I would go to the Y

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and play pickup volleyball for a couple

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hours a couple times a week.

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And yes,

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usually my arm felt like falling off after

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that.

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But it just sort of became normal for

00:06:45.466 --> 00:06:46.466
me that my arm hurt.

00:06:47.136 --> 00:06:48.677
would hurt when i started playing it would

00:06:48.716 --> 00:06:50.437
loosen up and feel better while i was

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playing i was playing for usually hours at

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a time and then it would hurt again

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after and i just sort of dealt with

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that for like twenty years um which again

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sounds crazy probably the last fifteen

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years it felt like that again i've coached

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college like getting thousands of swing

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it's not an exaggeration

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thousands of swings, running drills,

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and running practices over the course of a

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week just during the college season.

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And so, yeah,

00:07:15.875 --> 00:07:17.516
my arm hurt pretty much always,

00:07:18.475 --> 00:07:19.255
and it would loosen up,

00:07:19.295 --> 00:07:20.576
and then it would hurt after and be

00:07:20.617 --> 00:07:21.016
sore.

00:07:21.036 --> 00:07:22.377
So I just always sort of managed it.

00:07:25.237 --> 00:07:27.538
And this is the year where it finally

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fell off a cliff beyond what was

00:07:29.298 --> 00:07:29.879
manageable.

00:07:30.619 --> 00:07:31.358
It would swing,

00:07:31.399 --> 00:07:32.858
and it would just sort of hang limp.

00:07:32.939 --> 00:07:34.019
It hurt to swing.

00:07:34.079 --> 00:07:35.560
It hurt to even try and lift it.

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I didn't have the velocity.

00:07:37.182 --> 00:07:38.562
I didn't have the pop that I wanted,

00:07:38.603 --> 00:07:39.524
that I was used to.

00:07:40.285 --> 00:07:41.927
I couldn't really jump serve.

00:07:42.286 --> 00:07:43.567
Jump serving has always been the thing

00:07:43.588 --> 00:07:46.011
that has hurt the most with my shoulder.

00:07:47.012 --> 00:07:48.372
So I had to stop playing for a

00:07:48.392 --> 00:07:48.692
while.

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I took a session off.

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I took two sessions off.

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I took one session where it just set.

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And then I took a session completely off.

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It was probably the first time in, again,

00:07:58.101 --> 00:07:58.423
probably...

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Legitimately, no exaggeration,

00:08:00.612 --> 00:08:03.552
probably at least fifteen years since I've

00:08:03.572 --> 00:08:07.374
had a full off season and that works

00:08:07.413 --> 00:08:07.994
wonders.

00:08:08.194 --> 00:08:10.435
And I had a really good PT and

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shout out to good land physical therapy

00:08:14.956 --> 00:08:15.596
here in Milwaukee.

00:08:16.716 --> 00:08:16.877
Now,

00:08:16.916 --> 00:08:18.857
going to PT was was actually probably the

00:08:18.877 --> 00:08:19.776
best therapy I had.

00:08:20.737 --> 00:08:21.497
I shouldn't compare.

00:08:22.322 --> 00:08:22.661
But no,

00:08:22.721 --> 00:08:24.182
at twenty years of being injured and

00:08:24.223 --> 00:08:27.363
dealing with this injury and here in

00:08:27.403 --> 00:08:28.504
December, twenty twenty five,

00:08:28.545 --> 00:08:30.925
knock on wood, it feels really good.

00:08:31.146 --> 00:08:33.486
My shoulders feels better than it has in

00:08:33.866 --> 00:08:34.866
literal decades.

00:08:35.206 --> 00:08:37.307
And I'm playing with with no pain.

00:08:39.068 --> 00:08:40.909
It's still a lot of work to do

00:08:40.950 --> 00:08:41.870
my exercises.

00:08:41.990 --> 00:08:42.990
One, I have ADHD.

00:08:43.071 --> 00:08:44.331
So doing things consistently has always

00:08:44.350 --> 00:08:45.951
been hard, especially when they're boring.

00:08:46.620 --> 00:08:48.461
And two, when you stop having pain,

00:08:48.822 --> 00:08:51.062
you stop feeling as motivated to do the

00:08:51.082 --> 00:08:53.524
workouts that helps you not have any pain.

00:08:54.504 --> 00:08:56.946
But PT was really hard when I started.

00:08:57.025 --> 00:08:57.225
Again,

00:08:57.245 --> 00:08:58.746
I was in a great deal of pain.

00:08:59.746 --> 00:09:01.128
Sports have always been my biggest stress

00:09:01.168 --> 00:09:01.567
reliever.

00:09:01.648 --> 00:09:02.948
And so I didn't have that.

00:09:03.048 --> 00:09:04.229
And so that was weird for me.

00:09:04.669 --> 00:09:05.730
And that definitely took a toll on my

00:09:05.769 --> 00:09:06.289
mental health.

00:09:06.330 --> 00:09:07.990
I think it was sort of curmudgeony and

00:09:08.051 --> 00:09:10.491
crabby while not being able to play.

00:09:10.673 --> 00:09:11.352
And just like,

00:09:12.663 --> 00:09:14.083
worked with so many athletes who have had

00:09:14.203 --> 00:09:16.164
career ending injuries and i've sort of

00:09:16.205 --> 00:09:17.566
always been like you find your next thing

00:09:17.605 --> 00:09:20.008
blah blah blah like we adjust we adapt

00:09:20.067 --> 00:09:23.070
we we identify other areas of strength and

00:09:23.169 --> 00:09:25.892
interest and like knowing all that stuff

00:09:26.552 --> 00:09:30.014
was helpful and still not being able to

00:09:30.034 --> 00:09:32.035
play sucks like there's still that big

00:09:32.135 --> 00:09:34.378
bummer of it all that goes along with

00:09:34.418 --> 00:09:37.440
being hurt and so having to navigate that

00:09:37.460 --> 00:09:37.940
really sucked

00:09:38.527 --> 00:09:40.028
and coming out the other end and being

00:09:40.089 --> 00:09:42.811
pretty pain free to the point where people

00:09:42.850 --> 00:09:43.951
I've played with for a long time have

00:09:43.991 --> 00:09:44.852
come up to me and been like,

00:09:44.932 --> 00:09:45.734
you look good.

00:09:45.774 --> 00:09:47.575
Like what's up?

00:09:47.615 --> 00:09:47.754
Yeah.

00:09:47.794 --> 00:09:49.277
That, and not like, again,

00:09:49.317 --> 00:09:51.139
I'm way past my competitive playing days.

00:09:51.178 --> 00:09:53.701
This isn't some glory days.

00:09:53.780 --> 00:09:56.503
This is when you've been playing hurt for

00:09:56.562 --> 00:09:57.683
so long, it shows up.

00:09:57.724 --> 00:09:59.466
And when you can relax out on the

00:09:59.525 --> 00:10:00.187
court and not,

00:10:00.527 --> 00:10:03.490
not be protective of your injured limb,

00:10:03.590 --> 00:10:04.429
it looks different.

00:10:04.571 --> 00:10:04.870
And so,

00:10:05.373 --> 00:10:06.716
That's been really lovely and wonderful.

00:10:06.878 --> 00:10:08.643
And if anything,

00:10:08.682 --> 00:10:10.428
I wish I would have spent more time

00:10:10.489 --> 00:10:12.355
looking for a good PT and not,

00:10:13.000 --> 00:10:15.023
basing my experience off of a bad

00:10:15.062 --> 00:10:17.104
physical, uh, therapist,

00:10:17.124 --> 00:10:19.025
a bad trainer I had while I was

00:10:19.046 --> 00:10:21.888
in high school, you know, um,

00:10:21.908 --> 00:10:24.389
because could have been playing pain-free

00:10:24.509 --> 00:10:26.051
a lot sooner in the process, probably.

00:10:26.111 --> 00:10:28.452
Although my PT was really great and, um,

00:10:28.493 --> 00:10:31.495
had some awareness of different body stuff

00:10:31.515 --> 00:10:32.956
that goes along with being neurodivergent,

00:10:32.976 --> 00:10:34.677
some hypermobility into my joints,

00:10:34.697 --> 00:10:35.899
some of the core stuff that goes along

00:10:35.918 --> 00:10:36.840
with being neurodivergent.

00:10:37.019 --> 00:10:39.481
So they're well-informed again to work

00:10:39.501 --> 00:10:41.583
specifically with me, um,

00:10:43.020 --> 00:10:45.662
And that was probably the most challenging

00:10:45.701 --> 00:10:47.123
part of the year for me,

00:10:47.562 --> 00:10:50.085
was losing the support I had of being

00:10:50.105 --> 00:10:50.904
able to play sports.

00:10:51.504 --> 00:10:53.245
And also probably the best thing to come

00:10:53.265 --> 00:10:54.447
out on the other side of is to

00:10:54.466 --> 00:10:54.966
be like,

00:10:55.167 --> 00:10:59.448
it's a fairly joyful experience now to go

00:10:59.568 --> 00:11:01.809
and be able to play and be pain-free.

00:11:02.850 --> 00:11:03.831
So that's really lovely.

00:11:06.147 --> 00:11:07.567
So, yeah, when you need a specialist,

00:11:07.586 --> 00:11:08.866
when you need to get something taken care

00:11:08.907 --> 00:11:08.986
of,

00:11:09.048 --> 00:11:10.768
like to find that person who really vibes

00:11:10.807 --> 00:11:11.227
with you.

00:11:11.248 --> 00:11:13.388
I don't want to get preachy in my

00:11:13.447 --> 00:11:13.707
like,

00:11:14.548 --> 00:11:16.249
here's here's how my mental health went

00:11:16.489 --> 00:11:16.969
episode.

00:11:17.009 --> 00:11:19.229
But like we as therapists,

00:11:19.609 --> 00:11:20.769
I as a therapist say this to my

00:11:20.809 --> 00:11:22.549
clients all the time and then struggle to

00:11:22.590 --> 00:11:23.669
sometimes apply it in our own lives.

00:11:23.710 --> 00:11:25.710
But like truly finding somebody who is a

00:11:25.769 --> 00:11:27.791
good fit for you and to not only

00:11:28.311 --> 00:11:29.390
personality wise,

00:11:29.431 --> 00:11:31.890
but also professionally makes a world of

00:11:31.931 --> 00:11:32.370
difference.

00:11:33.032 --> 00:11:35.351
And so, yeah, that was really lovely.

00:11:39.484 --> 00:11:41.225
I have slept really poorly this year

00:11:41.466 --> 00:11:44.988
because I have two elderly dogs and one,

00:11:45.048 --> 00:11:45.828
if not both of them,

00:11:45.889 --> 00:11:46.889
generally get up in the middle of the

00:11:46.909 --> 00:11:47.049
night.

00:11:47.431 --> 00:11:50.592
And that's been hard, but that's been,

00:11:50.653 --> 00:11:52.455
again, sort of mitigated and navigated.

00:11:53.495 --> 00:11:55.197
My partner and I sort of try and

00:11:55.297 --> 00:11:56.278
take turns.

00:11:56.457 --> 00:11:58.038
She's a very deep sleeper and I am

00:11:58.080 --> 00:11:58.360
not.

00:11:58.379 --> 00:11:59.961
So usually I get up just because I

00:12:00.000 --> 00:12:01.863
happen to be up because I hear them

00:12:01.923 --> 00:12:02.222
get up.

00:12:04.298 --> 00:12:05.999
But that's gotten a little bit better,

00:12:06.659 --> 00:12:07.880
trying to just, again,

00:12:07.900 --> 00:12:09.981
keep our dogs healthy and fit.

00:12:10.562 --> 00:12:12.043
You feel bad not giving them water,

00:12:12.104 --> 00:12:14.304
but also just need to not have water

00:12:14.345 --> 00:12:14.686
at night.

00:12:14.785 --> 00:12:15.886
Otherwise,

00:12:15.927 --> 00:12:16.886
she won't make it through the night.

00:12:16.907 --> 00:12:17.768
She doesn't make it through the night

00:12:17.847 --> 00:12:18.248
anyways,

00:12:18.288 --> 00:12:19.909
but she'll drink a whole bowl of water

00:12:19.929 --> 00:12:21.029
and then need to go like three times.

00:12:21.451 --> 00:12:22.110
So that's been hard.

00:12:22.171 --> 00:12:22.672
And just, again,

00:12:22.692 --> 00:12:24.673
a reminder of sleep hygiene and how

00:12:24.692 --> 00:12:25.394
important that is.

00:12:25.933 --> 00:12:26.634
A few years ago,

00:12:26.695 --> 00:12:28.155
I talked about having an Oura Ring,

00:12:28.196 --> 00:12:30.517
which is the wearable tracker.

00:12:30.557 --> 00:12:32.519
And I like those trackers.

00:12:33.259 --> 00:12:34.159
Not forever.

00:12:34.399 --> 00:12:35.419
You don't have one on now.

00:12:37.541 --> 00:12:39.581
But I think as a baseline to sort

00:12:39.620 --> 00:12:41.201
of take stock of where your physical

00:12:41.241 --> 00:12:43.682
fitness, your wellness is,

00:12:44.381 --> 00:12:45.601
everything's a subscription model.

00:12:45.621 --> 00:12:46.643
So you got to pay for that shit,

00:12:47.543 --> 00:12:48.802
which is why I'm sort of opposed to

00:12:48.842 --> 00:12:50.844
them for like lifetime commitments.

00:12:50.903 --> 00:12:52.364
But to get that baseline,

00:12:52.403 --> 00:12:53.344
I think is really nice.

00:12:53.423 --> 00:12:54.683
I think it could be too much data

00:12:54.783 --> 00:12:55.845
all the time forever.

00:12:55.884 --> 00:12:58.445
But the idea of where my sleep was

00:12:58.465 --> 00:12:59.884
got better a couple of years ago.

00:13:00.245 --> 00:13:01.225
Then it's been bad this year,

00:13:01.245 --> 00:13:02.405
but it's been...

00:13:03.567 --> 00:13:05.888
an awareness from the double whammy of

00:13:05.908 --> 00:13:07.548
being hurt and my sleep being bad was

00:13:07.587 --> 00:13:07.847
hard.

00:13:08.568 --> 00:13:09.589
Um, but otherwise I've,

00:13:09.808 --> 00:13:11.470
I've mitigated it pretty well.

00:13:11.610 --> 00:13:13.889
I think for knowing my sleep's not great.

00:13:13.909 --> 00:13:16.010
I've been trying to be slow and kind

00:13:16.130 --> 00:13:17.491
and gentle for myself,

00:13:17.932 --> 00:13:19.111
knowing my sleep's off,

00:13:19.172 --> 00:13:21.452
knowing I'm getting the hours of sleep

00:13:21.513 --> 00:13:23.874
that I maybe want or need, um,

00:13:23.894 --> 00:13:25.293
but always interrupted.

00:13:25.933 --> 00:13:27.894
And though probably not in that deep sleep

00:13:28.274 --> 00:13:30.775
stage that I need to be, um,

00:13:32.607 --> 00:13:34.568
The world has been a fucking nightmare

00:13:36.450 --> 00:13:39.912
this year between a Trump two point oh

00:13:39.991 --> 00:13:40.732
presidency,

00:13:41.133 --> 00:13:42.933
the general stupidity of people who are

00:13:42.974 --> 00:13:44.335
not well informed about what that

00:13:44.394 --> 00:13:45.034
includes,

00:13:45.075 --> 00:13:46.296
people who didn't read Project twenty

00:13:46.316 --> 00:13:46.956
twenty five,

00:13:47.636 --> 00:13:49.077
people who are in denial watching Project

00:13:49.097 --> 00:13:51.298
twenty twenty five be put into place.

00:13:52.947 --> 00:13:54.028
this is an ongoing battle.

00:13:54.067 --> 00:13:55.168
This is something that a lot of clients

00:13:55.208 --> 00:13:55.548
bring up.

00:13:55.649 --> 00:13:55.808
Like,

00:13:55.849 --> 00:13:58.030
how do you balance being informed and also

00:13:58.091 --> 00:14:00.432
not like hating everybody all the time and

00:14:00.472 --> 00:14:02.014
hating everything and then eventually

00:14:02.053 --> 00:14:02.794
being burnt out.

00:14:03.335 --> 00:14:05.576
And again, I, I, I've built this,

00:14:05.836 --> 00:14:06.717
this network.

00:14:06.798 --> 00:14:08.458
I've built a community, um,

00:14:08.519 --> 00:14:10.301
in my life that feels pretty good and

00:14:10.321 --> 00:14:11.961
values aligned, ethics aligned.

00:14:11.981 --> 00:14:12.822
Some of them are therapists.

00:14:12.842 --> 00:14:14.203
Some of them are very specifically not

00:14:14.264 --> 00:14:15.004
therapists.

00:14:16.086 --> 00:14:17.667
The, um,

00:14:18.456 --> 00:14:20.517
hopefulness of having children who the

00:14:20.557 --> 00:14:22.256
world is still bright and shiny and

00:14:22.297 --> 00:14:25.619
wonderful and new is helpful to cultivate

00:14:25.639 --> 00:14:27.479
some of that childlike wonder in engaging

00:14:27.499 --> 00:14:29.039
with the world and not being bummed out

00:14:29.059 --> 00:14:31.480
about everything all the time or being mad

00:14:31.520 --> 00:14:33.422
in principle that things could be better.

00:14:33.442 --> 00:14:34.721
And so that we're mad that they aren't.

00:14:36.783 --> 00:14:37.923
But yeah, some of that community,

00:14:38.003 --> 00:14:39.604
I've always sort of had those boxes of

00:14:39.624 --> 00:14:39.764
like,

00:14:39.783 --> 00:14:41.365
here's some professional people I know,

00:14:41.424 --> 00:14:41.764
but like,

00:14:41.784 --> 00:14:43.105
here are my volleyball people and here are

00:14:43.125 --> 00:14:44.546
my board game people and blah, blah.

00:14:44.586 --> 00:14:46.405
Like those different categories have

00:14:46.466 --> 00:14:47.647
always served me pretty well.

00:14:48.407 --> 00:14:48.626
And again,

00:14:48.647 --> 00:14:49.869
the volleyball community generally is

00:14:49.889 --> 00:14:50.629
pretty good for me.

00:14:50.690 --> 00:14:53.854
That being injured this year was hard,

00:14:54.695 --> 00:14:56.878
but I played more D&D this year than

00:14:56.918 --> 00:14:57.859
I ever have before.

00:14:58.480 --> 00:15:01.123
Shocking for those of you who know and

00:15:01.143 --> 00:15:02.605
have heard me talk about my board game

00:15:02.625 --> 00:15:03.125
collection.

00:15:03.285 --> 00:15:04.027
I am a nerd.

00:15:05.129 --> 00:15:09.072
And the board game stuff has always been

00:15:09.092 --> 00:15:09.692
there for me.

00:15:10.134 --> 00:15:11.033
When you have little kids,

00:15:11.534 --> 00:15:13.495
you lose some of that because they don't

00:15:13.515 --> 00:15:14.517
have the attention span.

00:15:14.677 --> 00:15:16.097
Even some of my games that I have

00:15:16.118 --> 00:15:17.278
that are specifically designed.

00:15:18.419 --> 00:15:19.740
Kids games suck, right?

00:15:20.400 --> 00:15:20.980
As parents,

00:15:21.020 --> 00:15:22.302
I think we can all admit that like

00:15:22.341 --> 00:15:23.003
HiHoCherry,

00:15:23.043 --> 00:15:24.984
it was a trash game and Snakes and

00:15:25.004 --> 00:15:26.065
Ladders is not fun.

00:15:27.285 --> 00:15:28.907
Snakes and Ladders, Chutes and Ladders.

00:15:30.562 --> 00:15:31.322
Are there snakes?

00:15:31.744 --> 00:15:33.024
Maybe that's just the version we have.

00:15:33.663 --> 00:15:37.166
Anyway, but having a game like Plunders,

00:15:37.525 --> 00:15:38.666
there's no reading involved,

00:15:38.686 --> 00:15:40.366
so you can play with younger kids.

00:15:40.527 --> 00:15:43.148
There's pirate ships and a hurricane,

00:15:43.187 --> 00:15:44.068
and it's fun.

00:15:44.629 --> 00:15:45.589
So having some of that stuff has always

00:15:45.609 --> 00:15:45.909
been good.

00:15:45.950 --> 00:15:48.671
But yeah, D&D, I'm a late convert.

00:15:48.811 --> 00:15:49.750
I stayed away from it when I was

00:15:49.791 --> 00:15:50.030
younger,

00:15:50.250 --> 00:15:52.272
knowing sort of I would be addicted and

00:15:52.351 --> 00:15:53.852
probably have poor time management with

00:15:53.913 --> 00:15:53.972
it.

00:15:54.658 --> 00:15:55.779
So I've read a lot of D and

00:15:55.799 --> 00:15:56.440
D novels,

00:15:56.480 --> 00:15:58.140
but I hadn't played until a few years

00:15:58.181 --> 00:15:58.501
ago.

00:15:58.721 --> 00:16:00.363
And then I played more this year and

00:16:00.383 --> 00:16:01.543
then I got Baldur's gate three.

00:16:01.964 --> 00:16:03.065
I know I'm recording in twenty,

00:16:03.085 --> 00:16:03.585
twenty five,

00:16:03.644 --> 00:16:05.647
two years past Baldur's gate being of

00:16:05.767 --> 00:16:06.086
note.

00:16:06.106 --> 00:16:07.687
Um, but having like a,

00:16:08.028 --> 00:16:09.188
a way to play D and D by

00:16:09.208 --> 00:16:10.730
myself has been really helpful for me.

00:16:11.370 --> 00:16:13.471
And so a little bit of that escapism

00:16:14.432 --> 00:16:16.153
I think has again.

00:16:16.586 --> 00:16:19.149
All of this was facilitated to cover up

00:16:19.929 --> 00:16:21.772
or make up for what sports did for

00:16:21.812 --> 00:16:22.732
me for so long.

00:16:23.333 --> 00:16:26.677
And so I think that has been really

00:16:26.716 --> 00:16:27.197
helpful.

00:16:28.198 --> 00:16:31.361
D&D is a good engaging way for my

00:16:31.402 --> 00:16:33.183
neurodivergent brain to have something new

00:16:33.303 --> 00:16:36.346
and novel continually and still keep it

00:16:36.466 --> 00:16:37.027
interesting.

00:16:39.769 --> 00:16:39.929
Yeah,

00:16:39.970 --> 00:16:42.211
I've got an in-person D&D group that are

00:16:42.432 --> 00:16:43.472
lovely and a lot of fun to play

00:16:43.493 --> 00:16:45.114
with and then having some of the virtual

00:16:45.134 --> 00:16:47.596
spaces and just like being that D&D nerd

00:16:47.615 --> 00:16:49.898
who like watches the professionals play

00:16:50.837 --> 00:16:53.039
Dimension Twenty and Critical Role and

00:16:53.059 --> 00:16:54.160
some of those campaigns.

00:16:54.260 --> 00:16:55.881
I've not certainly watched all of them,

00:16:55.922 --> 00:16:58.303
but watching more of them and not like

00:16:59.363 --> 00:17:01.144
know just let myself enjoy that as a

00:17:01.183 --> 00:17:04.124
sort of intentional getaway um it has been

00:17:04.203 --> 00:17:07.345
harder to ignore the real world even when

00:17:07.384 --> 00:17:09.026
people text me like i'm reading more and

00:17:09.066 --> 00:17:10.665
i need fantasy in my life because the

00:17:10.685 --> 00:17:12.207
real world sucks so hard and it's like

00:17:12.267 --> 00:17:14.047
oh yeah let's go read about dragons

00:17:14.086 --> 00:17:16.107
hoarding wealth and how that's not a

00:17:16.147 --> 00:17:18.127
metaphor for the billionaire ruling class

00:17:18.228 --> 00:17:20.169
you know i'm a ruiner of things like

00:17:20.209 --> 00:17:22.509
that so having something that really does

00:17:22.568 --> 00:17:24.390
provide some escapism has been really

00:17:24.509 --> 00:17:26.611
important and that has been predominantly

00:17:26.631 --> 00:17:27.971
dnd i will say

00:17:28.992 --> 00:17:30.554
And then just trying to be intentional.

00:17:30.594 --> 00:17:31.634
Part of, again,

00:17:31.674 --> 00:17:34.135
being soft and gentle and slow with myself

00:17:34.175 --> 00:17:35.717
while dealing with an injury has been

00:17:35.777 --> 00:17:39.398
reading more, trying to be not scrolling,

00:17:39.459 --> 00:17:43.221
trying to not be reading nine think pieces

00:17:43.240 --> 00:17:45.001
about how the Supreme Court sucks and is

00:17:45.041 --> 00:17:47.223
corrupt and is there any hope of salvaging

00:17:47.263 --> 00:17:47.364
it?

00:17:47.903 --> 00:17:49.684
Because the Supreme Court is like a real

00:17:49.724 --> 00:17:50.865
bad one for me.

00:17:51.125 --> 00:17:52.626
I can read a lot of horrific shit

00:17:52.826 --> 00:17:54.428
and I work with trauma and

00:17:55.355 --> 00:17:57.317
Religious drama, cult survivors,

00:17:57.397 --> 00:17:57.778
the Projects,

00:17:57.798 --> 00:17:59.259
Twenty Twenty Five stuff is all horrific.

00:17:59.298 --> 00:18:00.259
And I feel like I need to stay

00:18:00.279 --> 00:18:01.280
on top of it for my job.

00:18:01.661 --> 00:18:03.442
But the thing that upsets me beyond a

00:18:03.482 --> 00:18:05.443
reasonable degree is the stupidity that is

00:18:05.463 --> 00:18:06.224
the Supreme Court.

00:18:06.924 --> 00:18:07.885
And so, again,

00:18:07.925 --> 00:18:09.346
just trying to like balance that stuff.

00:18:09.406 --> 00:18:12.309
I've made a point of reading more often

00:18:12.529 --> 00:18:13.109
this year.

00:18:13.691 --> 00:18:14.431
I love reading.

00:18:14.531 --> 00:18:17.193
I've always liked was a voracious reader

00:18:17.233 --> 00:18:17.933
when I was a kid.

00:18:17.953 --> 00:18:19.855
And I lost some of that.

00:18:19.875 --> 00:18:21.317
Some of that comes with having little kids

00:18:21.356 --> 00:18:23.798
and not having a ton of time uninterrupted

00:18:23.838 --> 00:18:24.880
to really get into a book.

00:18:26.079 --> 00:18:27.921
but reading graphic novels and comic books

00:18:27.981 --> 00:18:30.143
has saved me a lot.

00:18:31.723 --> 00:18:33.085
And given me a lot of that escapism

00:18:33.144 --> 00:18:34.305
I was talking about earlier with D and

00:18:34.325 --> 00:18:34.566
D,

00:18:34.586 --> 00:18:36.886
but this year I've gotten back into some

00:18:36.946 --> 00:18:39.608
novels and even reading some nonfiction,

00:18:39.648 --> 00:18:41.509
which has never been my favorite thing.

00:18:41.789 --> 00:18:43.250
I think there are a lot of therapists

00:18:43.310 --> 00:18:45.592
out there who love to read every like

00:18:45.632 --> 00:18:48.114
memoir about a mental health issue.

00:18:48.294 --> 00:18:49.654
And I've never been that person.

00:18:50.775 --> 00:18:51.336
Memoirs are,

00:18:52.425 --> 00:18:54.146
Even well-written ones are kind of boring,

00:18:54.326 --> 00:18:54.907
in my opinion.

00:18:55.028 --> 00:18:56.048
But again, I do therapy,

00:18:56.167 --> 00:18:57.608
so I'm getting a lot of that stuff

00:18:57.648 --> 00:18:59.451
live as it's being written.

00:19:01.951 --> 00:19:03.932
So I've always been a much bigger reader

00:19:03.972 --> 00:19:04.634
of fantasy.

00:19:04.713 --> 00:19:06.194
But by reading some of that stuff,

00:19:07.615 --> 00:19:08.777
for about two months there,

00:19:08.817 --> 00:19:09.696
everybody who talked to me,

00:19:09.757 --> 00:19:10.458
I recommended...

00:19:12.145 --> 00:19:13.946
reading Forest Euphoria,

00:19:14.247 --> 00:19:16.048
The Abounding Queerness of Nature.

00:19:17.307 --> 00:19:18.669
That book was awesome and I still

00:19:18.709 --> 00:19:19.249
recommend it.

00:19:19.348 --> 00:19:21.029
It's on my coffee table in my office

00:19:21.069 --> 00:19:21.470
right now.

00:19:21.990 --> 00:19:23.570
Just sitting there as a recommendation for

00:19:23.611 --> 00:19:25.051
anyone who comes into the office.

00:19:26.192 --> 00:19:27.353
And that book was really helpful for me.

00:19:27.393 --> 00:19:27.833
I mean,

00:19:27.873 --> 00:19:29.834
that book as a memoir is really great,

00:19:29.874 --> 00:19:31.054
but it's also nature-based.

00:19:31.094 --> 00:19:33.494
It's also, it talks a bit about trauma,

00:19:33.575 --> 00:19:34.875
talks about late diagnosis.

00:19:35.496 --> 00:19:37.175
So a lot of my boxes get checked

00:19:37.256 --> 00:19:38.237
certainly by that book,

00:19:38.297 --> 00:19:40.557
but it just was kind of a joyful

00:19:40.637 --> 00:19:40.938
read

00:19:42.269 --> 00:19:42.588
which again,

00:19:42.648 --> 00:19:43.950
I think we all sort of need.

00:19:45.750 --> 00:19:47.310
And so trying to find other books like

00:19:47.351 --> 00:19:48.231
that, you know,

00:19:48.612 --> 00:19:49.672
if you're a regular listener to the

00:19:49.692 --> 00:19:50.292
podcast, you know,

00:19:50.313 --> 00:19:52.153
I've had Jared Anderson on and I really

00:19:52.192 --> 00:19:54.594
like his poetry collections and also his

00:19:54.634 --> 00:19:56.134
memoir, Something the Wood Loves You.

00:19:56.575 --> 00:19:58.076
So those kinds of like,

00:19:58.115 --> 00:19:59.036
they're mental health related,

00:19:59.076 --> 00:20:02.176
but they're not like bummers.

00:20:03.778 --> 00:20:05.058
And right, like as a society,

00:20:05.098 --> 00:20:05.759
we like to track,

00:20:07.184 --> 00:20:09.248
Murder podcasts and true crime.

00:20:09.587 --> 00:20:11.509
CSI was the number one show on TV

00:20:11.549 --> 00:20:12.451
for a long time.

00:20:12.491 --> 00:20:14.534
And like, there's that like trauma porn,

00:20:15.694 --> 00:20:16.616
murder porn.

00:20:17.518 --> 00:20:18.999
I refer to it generally as trauma porn,

00:20:19.059 --> 00:20:21.742
like watching and reading and following

00:20:21.803 --> 00:20:22.644
horrific shit.

00:20:24.625 --> 00:20:26.367
This serves some utility in our brain.

00:20:27.385 --> 00:20:29.346
But when everything actually is shit,

00:20:30.327 --> 00:20:30.627
I don't know.

00:20:30.647 --> 00:20:32.328
I have a hard time engaging with that

00:20:32.348 --> 00:20:32.588
stuff.

00:20:32.670 --> 00:20:34.931
Even as somebody who grew up being pretty

00:20:34.971 --> 00:20:36.592
hyper-focused on serial killers for a

00:20:36.632 --> 00:20:36.912
while.

00:20:37.051 --> 00:20:38.353
I can tell you a lot of things

00:20:38.393 --> 00:20:38.993
about H.H.

00:20:39.034 --> 00:20:40.074
Holmes and the World Fair.

00:20:43.557 --> 00:20:44.698
It was nice to have some books that

00:20:44.718 --> 00:20:46.499
were joyful and fun.

00:20:47.098 --> 00:20:48.460
My favorite author, Stephen Erickson,

00:20:48.500 --> 00:20:49.560
had a new book that came out.

00:20:49.641 --> 00:20:50.801
Maybe I should do an end of...

00:20:52.021 --> 00:20:53.323
I hate the Spotify raps.

00:20:54.023 --> 00:20:55.625
Such a wanking motion.

00:20:56.988 --> 00:20:58.028
to like, look at me,

00:20:58.087 --> 00:20:59.108
I'm the main character.

00:20:59.209 --> 00:21:00.569
Here's the things that I liked.

00:21:00.670 --> 00:21:02.790
Like, bruh, if I cared what you liked,

00:21:03.391 --> 00:21:04.750
I would have worse taste than I do.

00:21:08.173 --> 00:21:11.074
The, so yeah,

00:21:11.134 --> 00:21:12.134
I've been more intentional with reading,

00:21:12.194 --> 00:21:13.494
still reading comic books and graphic

00:21:13.535 --> 00:21:13.974
novels.

00:21:14.195 --> 00:21:14.455
I mean,

00:21:14.836 --> 00:21:21.278
just absolutely spoiled creatively for

00:21:21.739 --> 00:21:23.220
graphic novels and comic books.

00:21:23.279 --> 00:21:24.519
I don't know if there's been a better

00:21:24.579 --> 00:21:26.461
time to be a fan of that medium

00:21:27.164 --> 00:21:28.705
So lots of really great stuff there,

00:21:28.726 --> 00:21:28.987
but yeah,

00:21:29.007 --> 00:21:29.967
being more intentional with reading.

00:21:30.407 --> 00:21:31.489
That's all been again,

00:21:32.108 --> 00:21:34.570
intentional push to be slower and kinder

00:21:34.651 --> 00:21:36.992
and gentler and sort of my approach to

00:21:37.032 --> 00:21:39.515
myself and how I spend my time.

00:21:40.655 --> 00:21:43.377
It's been intentional to like, also again,

00:21:43.417 --> 00:21:44.618
as, as like a fantasy author,

00:21:44.659 --> 00:21:46.180
comic books were easy for this,

00:21:46.279 --> 00:21:48.843
but finding that balance between like

00:21:49.022 --> 00:21:50.163
reading for pleasure,

00:21:50.223 --> 00:21:51.684
but then still making it about work.

00:21:51.704 --> 00:21:51.825
Right.

00:21:53.006 --> 00:21:53.145
Like,

00:21:53.455 --> 00:21:54.596
That's the thing I think a lot of

00:21:54.676 --> 00:21:56.558
therapists struggle with, myself included,

00:21:56.578 --> 00:21:57.019
is like, oh,

00:21:57.038 --> 00:21:58.180
there's a new book about occults.

00:21:58.220 --> 00:21:59.060
I do religious trauma.

00:21:59.101 --> 00:21:59.881
Let me go pick that up.

00:22:00.781 --> 00:22:01.722
I own my own business.

00:22:01.762 --> 00:22:02.963
I can make it a business right off

00:22:03.003 --> 00:22:04.105
now to go buy that book.

00:22:04.144 --> 00:22:05.786
And then like, you know,

00:22:05.846 --> 00:22:06.586
it's not a break.

00:22:07.186 --> 00:22:09.409
It's not rest.

00:22:09.449 --> 00:22:10.269
It's interesting.

00:22:10.509 --> 00:22:12.151
It's engaging, but it's not rest.

00:22:12.290 --> 00:22:14.653
And so really been trying to be more

00:22:14.692 --> 00:22:15.314
intentional with this.

00:22:15.374 --> 00:22:16.674
Again, this is all stuff, right, that

00:22:17.182 --> 00:22:18.563
if you've heard me have other guests on,

00:22:18.583 --> 00:22:19.462
if you listen to the podcast,

00:22:19.482 --> 00:22:20.703
watch my other stuff, like, you know,

00:22:20.763 --> 00:22:23.205
I talk about this stuff and promote it

00:22:23.286 --> 00:22:24.125
for other people.

00:22:24.767 --> 00:22:26.807
And so this is not,

00:22:27.708 --> 00:22:29.269
this episode hopefully isn't just navel

00:22:29.308 --> 00:22:31.089
gazing and like, look at myself.

00:22:31.230 --> 00:22:32.730
And you know, this is again,

00:22:32.770 --> 00:22:35.232
acknowledging that even when we know this

00:22:35.272 --> 00:22:35.532
stuff,

00:22:35.573 --> 00:22:36.874
even when we say this stuff on a

00:22:36.894 --> 00:22:38.714
weekly basis to other people and we teach

00:22:38.734 --> 00:22:39.695
people how to do it and we help

00:22:39.715 --> 00:22:41.155
people find these things,

00:22:41.497 --> 00:22:42.998
it's still work and effort to do it

00:22:43.097 --> 00:22:43.718
consistently.

00:22:43.778 --> 00:22:44.759
Like none of this is,

00:22:45.557 --> 00:22:48.098
easy, quote unquote, it gets easier,

00:22:48.118 --> 00:22:49.339
the more you practice it.

00:22:50.019 --> 00:22:50.901
And it's still effort,

00:22:50.961 --> 00:22:53.301
it still works to maintain it and keep

00:22:53.321 --> 00:22:54.362
it in a healthy range.

00:22:54.863 --> 00:22:55.883
Especially when again,

00:22:55.923 --> 00:22:57.384
like something gets thrown off in your

00:22:57.403 --> 00:23:00.684
life, job change, in my case, an injury,

00:23:01.266 --> 00:23:04.426
adding a kid losing a pet, you know,

00:23:04.487 --> 00:23:06.147
whatever it is like family drama,

00:23:06.788 --> 00:23:08.028
work stress, life stress,

00:23:08.769 --> 00:23:10.230
it is a stressful time to be alive

00:23:10.289 --> 00:23:11.790
living through late stage capitalism's

00:23:11.851 --> 00:23:12.351
collapse.

00:23:13.854 --> 00:23:15.894
While I'm on Team Collapse and I'm rooting

00:23:15.933 --> 00:23:18.875
for it to change into something different

00:23:18.914 --> 00:23:21.275
so that hopefully out of the ashes of

00:23:21.315 --> 00:23:21.575
it all,

00:23:21.595 --> 00:23:22.736
something new and healthy and more

00:23:22.776 --> 00:23:24.615
sustainable can grow,

00:23:24.635 --> 00:23:25.955
doesn't mean it's fun to live through the

00:23:26.016 --> 00:23:26.496
collapse.

00:23:26.736 --> 00:23:29.817
So it has been a stressful thing.

00:23:30.116 --> 00:23:31.176
And so there's been a lot of

00:23:31.217 --> 00:23:35.678
intentionality on revamping and trying to

00:23:35.738 --> 00:23:39.278
be not critical of myself,

00:23:39.317 --> 00:23:40.759
but have some analysis for like,

00:23:40.858 --> 00:23:42.338
is this doing what you want it to

00:23:42.358 --> 00:23:42.479
do?

00:23:43.443 --> 00:23:46.444
and so um yeah reading's been really great

00:23:47.526 --> 00:23:49.586
pro wrestling um has been a through line

00:23:49.605 --> 00:23:51.567
through my life as well just my fandom

00:23:51.826 --> 00:23:55.749
um as somebody who uses athletics as a

00:23:55.788 --> 00:23:57.528
coping mechanism sports have also always

00:23:57.588 --> 00:24:00.210
been that I find a harder time in

00:24:00.250 --> 00:24:03.192
my wise and old age here uh being

00:24:03.211 --> 00:24:05.491
a fan being a true fan of sports

00:24:05.511 --> 00:24:07.952
teams now there's just so much capitalism

00:24:08.053 --> 00:24:09.314
and greed and the

00:24:11.086 --> 00:24:12.968
betting commercials and all the bullshit

00:24:12.988 --> 00:24:13.788
that goes along with it.

00:24:14.368 --> 00:24:15.848
You can't tell me that these games aren't

00:24:15.868 --> 00:24:16.189
rigged.

00:24:18.830 --> 00:24:21.092
And pro wrestling's always sort of just

00:24:21.112 --> 00:24:24.073
been like, yeah, the thing that... Right,

00:24:24.133 --> 00:24:26.354
it is rigged because it's a story.

00:24:26.453 --> 00:24:30.415
It's a story about a wrestling league.

00:24:30.635 --> 00:24:32.596
It's not true sport.

00:24:32.636 --> 00:24:33.537
It's not true competition.

00:24:33.916 --> 00:24:36.259
It's storytelling using a competitive

00:24:36.298 --> 00:24:38.319
medium as its route to tell that story.

00:24:38.859 --> 00:24:39.160
And so...

00:24:40.188 --> 00:24:40.347
I mean,

00:24:40.367 --> 00:24:42.750
just a ban or a year for some

00:24:42.810 --> 00:24:45.012
pro wrestling and then really terrible,

00:24:45.073 --> 00:24:45.513
like, again,

00:24:45.534 --> 00:24:46.974
really hard to disconnect from the

00:24:46.994 --> 00:24:49.698
dystopia of late-stage capitalism around

00:24:49.758 --> 00:24:49.857
it.

00:24:49.938 --> 00:24:52.540
And so I've divested from WWE a long

00:24:52.580 --> 00:24:53.060
time ago.

00:24:54.241 --> 00:24:55.824
Pretty much once Lucha Underground came

00:24:55.884 --> 00:24:56.644
out back in, like,

00:24:57.105 --> 00:25:01.269
I stopped keeping tabs on WWE regularly.

00:25:01.869 --> 00:25:03.211
I can tell you who is in it.

00:25:03.271 --> 00:25:03.451
I can...

00:25:04.787 --> 00:25:05.426
I don't know if I could tell you

00:25:05.446 --> 00:25:06.407
who the champions are right now.

00:25:07.008 --> 00:25:08.009
I could get it in like two or

00:25:08.028 --> 00:25:08.848
three guesses though.

00:25:09.229 --> 00:25:11.289
I'm not like totally out of the loop

00:25:11.329 --> 00:25:12.971
because I just follow wrestling.

00:25:13.010 --> 00:25:13.971
And when you follow wrestling,

00:25:13.990 --> 00:25:15.231
you're going to get some of the major

00:25:15.251 --> 00:25:16.673
headlines for all the major companies,

00:25:17.212 --> 00:25:19.693
but I watch all elite wrestling and it's

00:25:20.433 --> 00:25:21.775
Wednesday nights or there is their

00:25:21.875 --> 00:25:23.256
flagship show dynamite.

00:25:23.296 --> 00:25:25.016
And I watched that with my boys.

00:25:25.056 --> 00:25:26.116
They get to stay up.

00:25:26.136 --> 00:25:27.557
They usually don't get screens during the

00:25:27.577 --> 00:25:27.778
week,

00:25:27.798 --> 00:25:29.398
but they get to watch wrestling the first

00:25:29.479 --> 00:25:30.919
match or to the first commercial

00:25:30.979 --> 00:25:33.180
commercial, whichever one is longer.

00:25:33.319 --> 00:25:34.560
And so that's a lot of fun.

00:25:35.134 --> 00:25:39.605
AEW is phenomenal where WWE is like full

00:25:39.644 --> 00:25:42.070
blown mega and fired all their lesbian

00:25:42.090 --> 00:25:43.213
wrestlers this year.

00:25:43.315 --> 00:25:44.577
And it's just been really terrible.

00:25:45.992 --> 00:25:48.055
AEW has been really great and it's sort

00:25:48.075 --> 00:25:48.615
of weird.

00:25:48.654 --> 00:25:50.056
Wrestling is for everybody.

00:25:50.155 --> 00:25:51.257
Here are all these different types of

00:25:51.317 --> 00:25:51.897
wrestling.

00:25:51.917 --> 00:25:53.179
Here are these engaging characters.

00:25:53.199 --> 00:25:54.559
Here are these long storylines.

00:25:54.599 --> 00:25:56.260
And then like just banger after banger

00:25:56.301 --> 00:25:57.923
after banger of really good match.

00:25:58.042 --> 00:25:59.663
So it's been really great.

00:25:59.763 --> 00:26:01.045
Again, that disconnect,

00:26:01.065 --> 00:26:02.026
that break from reality.

00:26:02.205 --> 00:26:04.048
WWE doesn't allow for that because you

00:26:04.127 --> 00:26:06.089
have a sexual predator and you have people

00:26:06.109 --> 00:26:06.450
who are

00:26:07.267 --> 00:26:09.529
you know, being awful to each other.

00:26:09.589 --> 00:26:10.971
And then you just have general right-wing

00:26:11.010 --> 00:26:13.073
fuckery and like the capitalism and

00:26:13.134 --> 00:26:14.154
soulless nature of it.

00:26:14.315 --> 00:26:15.195
I've been really terrible.

00:26:15.276 --> 00:26:16.758
So I really try to avoid any of

00:26:16.778 --> 00:26:17.798
the WWE stuff.

00:26:18.660 --> 00:26:21.762
Um, I'm not even exaggerated.

00:26:21.823 --> 00:26:22.163
If anything,

00:26:22.183 --> 00:26:23.884
I'm underselling how terrible WWE has

00:26:23.905 --> 00:26:24.246
gotten.

00:26:25.067 --> 00:26:25.146
Um,

00:26:25.750 --> 00:26:27.153
and the quality of what they put on

00:26:27.212 --> 00:26:28.673
screen is also really terrible.

00:26:29.255 --> 00:26:30.876
Whereas AW has been, been pretty good.

00:26:31.076 --> 00:26:33.819
And are there still things broken in the

00:26:33.839 --> 00:26:35.521
wrestling industry for both companies?

00:26:35.561 --> 00:26:36.222
Yeah, absolutely.

00:26:36.242 --> 00:26:38.746
And watching stuff from other countries

00:26:38.786 --> 00:26:38.986
too.

00:26:39.426 --> 00:26:41.888
So that's been really good.

00:26:41.929 --> 00:26:44.172
It's been really fun to have, um,

00:26:45.491 --> 00:26:46.932
kids who are coming up and getting

00:26:47.073 --> 00:26:49.212
interested in it has been really fun.

00:26:49.232 --> 00:26:51.574
Like that's a highlight of my week to

00:26:51.594 --> 00:26:53.095
be able to watch wrestling with them and

00:26:53.234 --> 00:26:54.875
listen to them talk about wrestling and

00:26:55.015 --> 00:26:57.036
watch them get into the storylines and boo

00:26:57.276 --> 00:26:59.257
the people who they want to boo and

00:26:59.297 --> 00:27:00.477
cheer for the people they want to cheer

00:27:00.517 --> 00:27:00.717
for.

00:27:01.538 --> 00:27:03.198
So that's been really good.

00:27:03.698 --> 00:27:05.439
And then, yeah, I mean,

00:27:05.598 --> 00:27:06.920
I think at this point in my life,

00:27:06.980 --> 00:27:08.759
I have better community than I ever really

00:27:08.779 --> 00:27:09.059
have.

00:27:09.240 --> 00:27:10.921
Certainly professionally, um,

00:27:11.280 --> 00:27:13.663
um personally it's a work in progress not

00:27:13.723 --> 00:27:15.685
you know i'm just a prickly person and

00:27:15.705 --> 00:27:17.307
i'm an introvert so i don't i don't

00:27:17.406 --> 00:27:19.388
need it's not like i don't have good

00:27:19.429 --> 00:27:21.090
community i just don't engage with it

00:27:21.131 --> 00:27:23.993
probably as often as i should um but

00:27:24.013 --> 00:27:25.816
some of that is is just i'm a

00:27:25.895 --> 00:27:27.597
homebody i like hanging out with my kids

00:27:28.867 --> 00:27:30.409
and they share a lot of my interests.

00:27:30.568 --> 00:27:32.069
So that's very easy and simple.

00:27:32.270 --> 00:27:34.051
And a lot of my peers personally have

00:27:34.332 --> 00:27:35.192
similar life setup.

00:27:35.251 --> 00:27:37.294
So we all sort of have kids in

00:27:37.314 --> 00:27:38.755
that busy stage of life,

00:27:38.815 --> 00:27:40.195
but still get together with people still

00:27:40.215 --> 00:27:40.895
hang out with people.

00:27:41.836 --> 00:27:42.916
But I think it's the other stuff that

00:27:42.977 --> 00:27:44.938
really balances me out and having a good

00:27:44.959 --> 00:27:46.960
professional network is as a therapist who

00:27:47.099 --> 00:27:48.019
owns his own practice.

00:27:48.780 --> 00:27:49.922
It can be a little bit of like

00:27:49.942 --> 00:27:51.201
being on an island in a while.

00:27:51.221 --> 00:27:52.803
And it really has never felt like that

00:27:52.843 --> 00:27:54.403
for me since I've opened my practice.

00:27:54.423 --> 00:27:54.944
But that's been

00:27:55.875 --> 00:27:56.797
work and effort,

00:27:57.837 --> 00:27:59.459
and just a joy to connect with some

00:27:59.479 --> 00:28:00.460
really wonderful people.

00:28:00.559 --> 00:28:02.260
I have a group of therapists

00:28:02.401 --> 00:28:04.343
internationally that I get on a Zoom call

00:28:04.363 --> 00:28:05.683
with once a month,

00:28:05.763 --> 00:28:06.664
and that's really great.

00:28:06.744 --> 00:28:08.205
And then I have the podcast where I

00:28:08.226 --> 00:28:08.806
get to talk to people.

00:28:08.865 --> 00:28:10.748
And then I have my local therapy friends

00:28:12.209 --> 00:28:15.050
who we meet at various times,

00:28:15.070 --> 00:28:16.192
whether it's, hey, let's grab lunch,

00:28:16.211 --> 00:28:17.133
haven't seen you in a while,

00:28:17.292 --> 00:28:19.414
or it's a standard meetup

00:28:20.094 --> 00:28:22.355
to talk case consultation or whatever it

00:28:22.434 --> 00:28:22.694
is.

00:28:23.355 --> 00:28:24.336
That part of my life has been really

00:28:24.375 --> 00:28:24.695
great.

00:28:24.836 --> 00:28:28.198
And I would say like above and beyond

00:28:28.817 --> 00:28:30.479
even what I ever experienced when I was

00:28:30.499 --> 00:28:32.019
at an agency or a larger practice,

00:28:32.058 --> 00:28:33.259
it's just been really lovely.

00:28:33.299 --> 00:28:33.440
So.

00:28:35.136 --> 00:28:36.538
All those things help, you know,

00:28:36.637 --> 00:28:38.778
all those things take the edge off

00:28:39.479 --> 00:28:41.459
building community and investing in the

00:28:41.479 --> 00:28:43.299
future that is like worth living and

00:28:43.380 --> 00:28:45.540
better than what late stage capitalism

00:28:45.580 --> 00:28:47.201
sells you is really great.

00:28:47.261 --> 00:28:48.582
And it mellows you out.

00:28:49.301 --> 00:28:50.762
It has mellowed me out, I will say,

00:28:51.782 --> 00:28:53.384
from being sort of doom and gloom.

00:28:53.523 --> 00:28:55.305
Everything sucks all the time to like,

00:28:55.464 --> 00:28:56.204
yeah, of course,

00:28:56.625 --> 00:28:57.645
everything sucks all the time.

00:28:57.685 --> 00:28:58.665
That's intentional.

00:28:58.846 --> 00:29:00.326
And you don't have to participate in that.

00:29:01.067 --> 00:29:01.166
And,

00:29:01.586 --> 00:29:04.548
and that's privilege that I can do that.

00:29:04.608 --> 00:29:05.970
And that's also been a lot of work

00:29:06.150 --> 00:29:07.170
and it's been a lot of effort from

00:29:07.230 --> 00:29:08.631
other people to build that community with

00:29:08.671 --> 00:29:08.770
me.

00:29:08.810 --> 00:29:10.372
This isn't me again,

00:29:10.412 --> 00:29:11.432
patting myself on the back,

00:29:11.531 --> 00:29:12.833
sort of saying like, Hey, it's cool.

00:29:12.932 --> 00:29:14.173
I get to participate in some of this

00:29:14.193 --> 00:29:16.974
stuff and all the things that I teach

00:29:17.015 --> 00:29:18.955
people and recommend for people and try

00:29:18.996 --> 00:29:19.817
and promote for people.

00:29:19.896 --> 00:29:21.917
It's like, yeah, you gotta,

00:29:21.938 --> 00:29:23.479
the whole point of this podcast has always

00:29:23.519 --> 00:29:24.118
been like,

00:29:24.378 --> 00:29:25.759
it's worked for us therapists too.

00:29:25.859 --> 00:29:27.320
And like, we don't know more than you.

00:29:27.381 --> 00:29:27.760
We just,

00:29:28.547 --> 00:29:29.647
We might know more than you,

00:29:29.708 --> 00:29:31.568
but it is an equal amount of work

00:29:31.608 --> 00:29:33.130
for us to integrate those things into our

00:29:33.170 --> 00:29:33.451
life.

00:29:34.550 --> 00:29:35.432
And that remains true.

00:29:36.452 --> 00:29:39.674
But yeah, those are the things.

00:29:40.175 --> 00:29:41.997
I walk my dogs regularly.

00:29:42.017 --> 00:29:43.057
I like time and nature.

00:29:45.298 --> 00:29:47.161
It's been a weird year for music,

00:29:47.221 --> 00:29:48.461
if you follow music.

00:29:49.453 --> 00:29:50.214
any of my work on YouTube,

00:29:50.275 --> 00:29:51.976
I do a lot of like song reviews.

00:29:52.237 --> 00:29:52.436
Um,

00:29:52.457 --> 00:29:54.057
not because I know anything about music,

00:29:54.117 --> 00:29:55.118
but I talk about the mental health

00:29:55.159 --> 00:29:56.721
concepts in different songs,

00:29:56.780 --> 00:29:57.442
the lyrics in them.

00:29:58.201 --> 00:30:00.865
Um, usually music is,

00:30:00.904 --> 00:30:03.386
is a great source of dopamine for me.

00:30:03.507 --> 00:30:03.887
And it's,

00:30:04.127 --> 00:30:05.548
I've listened to a lot of old stuff,

00:30:05.588 --> 00:30:06.309
like, um,

00:30:07.934 --> 00:30:08.855
a ton of Pink Floyd,

00:30:08.915 --> 00:30:10.057
a ton of System of a Down,

00:30:10.458 --> 00:30:11.538
lots of Glass Animals.

00:30:12.839 --> 00:30:14.162
So the music that I listened to and

00:30:14.201 --> 00:30:16.124
I found that was new this year was

00:30:16.223 --> 00:30:19.847
pretty much like Brian Eno's and Infinity

00:30:19.867 --> 00:30:21.529
Knives' new album got a lot of play

00:30:21.569 --> 00:30:21.890
for me.

00:30:23.491 --> 00:30:25.653
And I found Archspire this year,

00:30:25.894 --> 00:30:27.076
which is a metal band,

00:30:27.096 --> 00:30:30.019
a technical death metal band whom I love.

00:30:31.242 --> 00:30:32.823
But usually my music is all over the

00:30:32.843 --> 00:30:33.743
place and very eclectic.

00:30:33.763 --> 00:30:35.084
And you can sort of see like, oh,

00:30:35.124 --> 00:30:35.624
here's a band.

00:30:36.023 --> 00:30:37.183
I only listened to them for like two

00:30:37.203 --> 00:30:37.663
straight weeks.

00:30:37.743 --> 00:30:38.744
And I only listened to this for two

00:30:38.765 --> 00:30:39.224
straight weeks.

00:30:39.265 --> 00:30:41.585
And I had less of that than typical.

00:30:41.704 --> 00:30:43.086
Usually it's like month to month.

00:30:43.205 --> 00:30:46.526
I have like twelve brand new genres or

00:30:46.586 --> 00:30:49.507
musical acts or albums or whatever that

00:30:49.527 --> 00:30:50.346
really catch my attention.

00:30:50.386 --> 00:30:51.307
And for whatever reason this year,

00:30:51.326 --> 00:30:52.607
that was down.

00:30:53.807 --> 00:30:55.248
But I had some consistency with some

00:30:55.347 --> 00:30:57.189
oldies but goodies and some things that I

00:30:57.229 --> 00:30:58.729
really... Again, maybe that...

00:30:59.695 --> 00:31:01.296
reflecting in real time here maybe that

00:31:01.375 --> 00:31:05.836
has been intentional for like rest and um

00:31:05.856 --> 00:31:07.357
going back to some of those old favorites

00:31:08.157 --> 00:31:10.097
is helpful sometimes sometimes you just

00:31:10.438 --> 00:31:13.959
should re-watch the rest of development um

00:31:14.038 --> 00:31:15.179
it's not a thing i did this year

00:31:15.318 --> 00:31:16.839
i just finished re-watching frisky dingo

00:31:17.559 --> 00:31:20.579
which maybe i'll do a separate review of

00:31:21.040 --> 00:31:23.740
um some of it aged very poorly obviously

00:31:23.820 --> 00:31:25.501
some of it was some of it was

00:31:25.561 --> 00:31:27.582
in poor taste when it aired um

00:31:29.045 --> 00:31:31.306
very interesting show reflecting they just

00:31:31.346 --> 00:31:34.886
predicted the future pretty like eerily

00:31:35.666 --> 00:31:38.868
accurately so if anybody has a contact for

00:31:38.969 --> 00:31:40.489
adam reed let me know because i would

00:31:40.528 --> 00:31:42.609
love to pick his brain on like how

00:31:42.630 --> 00:31:43.730
he came up with some of those ideas

00:31:43.809 --> 00:31:47.250
that proved to be so true um but

00:31:47.270 --> 00:31:49.291
yeah sometimes we need those comfort shows

00:31:49.332 --> 00:31:50.772
sometimes we need to return to something

00:31:51.093 --> 00:31:52.692
especially in a period of rest and

00:31:52.712 --> 00:31:54.294
recovery so

00:31:55.713 --> 00:31:58.296
Yeah, that's been a lot of my year.

00:31:58.355 --> 00:32:00.759
It's been having to do a lot more

00:32:00.979 --> 00:32:03.320
intentional stuff for my mental health

00:32:03.340 --> 00:32:05.462
that isn't just sports or physical

00:32:05.502 --> 00:32:07.444
activity because working out and

00:32:07.464 --> 00:32:09.246
competitive sports have just carried so

00:32:09.286 --> 00:32:11.067
much of my mental health for so long

00:32:11.208 --> 00:32:13.990
and very effectively so, I would say.

00:32:14.864 --> 00:32:16.644
And this year with an injury that really

00:32:16.684 --> 00:32:18.386
sidelined me for the first time in my

00:32:18.406 --> 00:32:18.707
life,

00:32:19.086 --> 00:32:21.608
an injury I couldn't just play through for

00:32:21.648 --> 00:32:23.851
the first time in my life changed a

00:32:23.871 --> 00:32:25.731
lot for me.

00:32:25.771 --> 00:32:29.315
So, yeah.

00:32:29.414 --> 00:32:29.674
Again,

00:32:29.935 --> 00:32:31.477
I don't think anything earth shattering

00:32:31.537 --> 00:32:31.896
here.

00:32:32.076 --> 00:32:34.278
I think the stuff I talk about regularly

00:32:34.298 --> 00:32:37.320
because it works and I obviously see it

00:32:37.340 --> 00:32:38.902
work for other people's lives and I see

00:32:38.942 --> 00:32:40.604
it work real time for my own life.

00:32:42.545 --> 00:32:44.287
But switching it up a little bit.

00:32:45.375 --> 00:32:46.477
I don't like doing an episode about me.

00:32:46.537 --> 00:32:48.258
I don't like selling my own stuff.

00:32:48.278 --> 00:32:49.498
I don't like promoting my own shit.

00:32:49.678 --> 00:32:51.920
This is all uncomfortable.

00:32:52.140 --> 00:32:54.661
And yet there's a consistent listener

00:32:54.840 --> 00:32:55.181
base.

00:32:55.221 --> 00:32:56.741
And I like to pretend they're just tuning

00:32:56.761 --> 00:32:57.982
in for my guests each week,

00:32:58.042 --> 00:32:59.203
even though I know that's probably not

00:32:59.304 --> 00:32:59.644
accurate.

00:33:00.613 --> 00:33:02.334
At least not the consistent piece of it.

00:33:02.394 --> 00:33:04.634
When I get a bump in the analytics,

00:33:04.694 --> 00:33:05.414
then I know that.

00:33:05.535 --> 00:33:07.394
But very cool.

00:33:08.256 --> 00:33:08.516
Again,

00:33:08.556 --> 00:33:10.056
like it's just very cool to be able

00:33:10.155 --> 00:33:12.676
to do this and connect with people and

00:33:12.696 --> 00:33:14.857
have useful conversations and get helpful

00:33:14.877 --> 00:33:15.698
feedback from folks.

00:33:16.439 --> 00:33:21.579
So love all that.

00:33:21.619 --> 00:33:22.681
I think that's enough.

00:33:23.961 --> 00:33:25.501
I like the phrase navel-gazing.

00:33:25.741 --> 00:33:26.781
I don't know if that's one that people

00:33:26.902 --> 00:33:29.242
use regularly, but yeah.

00:33:30.314 --> 00:33:31.775
There's a navel-gazing aspect to me

00:33:31.815 --> 00:33:32.895
talking about my own stuff.

00:33:32.996 --> 00:33:35.116
But perhaps it is helpful from time to

00:33:35.176 --> 00:33:37.558
time to pull back the curtain and let

00:33:37.578 --> 00:33:39.540
people see that, yeah,

00:33:39.580 --> 00:33:41.501
the running dialogue in my head is me

00:33:41.541 --> 00:33:45.025
saying something pithy or that sounds very

00:33:45.585 --> 00:33:47.386
smart or is based in solid research.

00:33:47.446 --> 00:33:48.528
And then just the running commentary I'm

00:33:48.548 --> 00:33:48.847
at is like,

00:33:48.887 --> 00:33:50.368
but what the fuck do I know?

00:33:51.289 --> 00:33:52.351
And the answer to that question is a

00:33:52.391 --> 00:33:54.372
lot, and a lot more than Joe Rogan,

00:33:54.451 --> 00:33:55.133
but also...

00:33:56.553 --> 00:33:57.753
you know,

00:33:57.795 --> 00:33:59.557
nobody has all the answers and everybody's

00:34:00.498 --> 00:34:02.140
doing their best instead of having it

00:34:02.160 --> 00:34:04.261
figured out.

00:34:04.301 --> 00:34:05.983
We're all in this together.

00:34:06.365 --> 00:34:08.086
I was almost broken to song there and

00:34:08.146 --> 00:34:09.168
I remembered I was recording.

00:34:09.228 --> 00:34:12.251
And so that's not a thing that'll happen.

00:34:12.911 --> 00:34:13.233
Yeah.

00:34:13.793 --> 00:34:14.213
Hopefully.

00:34:14.860 --> 00:34:16.242
we can hang out for a few more

00:34:16.302 --> 00:34:18.083
solo episodes here and then kick off the

00:34:18.103 --> 00:34:19.864
new year with a bang with some very

00:34:19.945 --> 00:34:22.447
cool guests and some people who are lined

00:34:22.547 --> 00:34:25.429
up and just, you know,

00:34:25.449 --> 00:34:28.692
difficult to on my schedule often to

00:34:28.731 --> 00:34:29.371
schedule people.

00:34:30.092 --> 00:34:33.916
So thanks for hanging with me in these

00:34:34.836 --> 00:34:37.438
digital connective spaces.

00:34:39.269 --> 00:34:41.635
And we'll be back next week with another

00:34:41.675 --> 00:34:42.456
new episode.

00:34:42.916 --> 00:34:43.559
Take care of yourself.

00:34:43.579 --> 00:34:44.280
Take care of somebody else.

00:34:44.340 --> 00:34:44.800
Peace.