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Your Therapist Needs Therapy
Your Therapist Needs Therapy 130 - New Year, Same Capitalism (or "Why Resolutions Never Work")
This week Jeremy shares some insight on the ins-and-outs of New Year's resolutions. He looks at resolutions as a modern control ritual that turns exhaustion, seasonal biology, and systemic burnout into individual failings. Jeremy talks about how capitalism repackaged ritual rest into productivity theater and self-surveillance that reliably produces shame and repeat consumers. This episode dismantles the myth of the “fresh start” and highlights that real change comes from safety, support, and a systemic approach to creating lasting change.
As always, Jeremy has all his practice info at Wellness with Jer, and you can find him on Instagram and YouTube. To show your love for the show you can pick up some merch! We appreciate support from likes, follows, and shares as well! None of my online work would be possible without my media maven Kenny, so check out their work as well at kenlingdesign.com
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Podcasts about therapy do not replace actual therapy, and listening to a podcast about therapy does not signify a therapeutic relationship.
If you or someone you know is in crisis please call or text the nationwide crisis line at 988, or text HELLO to 741741. The Trevor Project has a crisis line for LGBTQ+ young people that can be reached by texting 678678.
Hello,
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and welcome to another edition of Your
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Therapist Needs Therapy,
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a podcast where mental health
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professionals talk about how they navigate
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their own mental wellness while working in
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the mental health field.
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I'm your host, Jeremy Schumacher,
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a licensed marriage and family therapist
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and participant in my own therapy.
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Hooray, team.
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We're going to talk about how New Year's
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resolutions never work,
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they work exactly how they were designed
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to work which is for the capitalistic
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ruling class to make you feel bad about
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yourself hey no uh this has been a
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growing trend over my career that i've
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enjoyed watching and also uh calling out
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as often as i can new year's resolutions
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are stupid and don't work
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And there's a ton of data that suggests
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that this is true.
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I think we've moved away,
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moved beyond just the data points that say
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New Year's resolutions don't work.
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And we're getting to some good messaging
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and some understandable logical points
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that people can make sort of suggesting
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that none of this makes sense.
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First and foremost,
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January is a terrible time to start new
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things if you live in the Northern
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hemisphere.
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It is cold.
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It is dark.
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It is not a time where motivation is
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high.
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It is a time where your nervous system,
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your body,
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everything from that brain-body connection
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is telling you to rest and hibernate.
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Now, like we're not hibernating mammals,
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so we don't need to take all of
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the months off,
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but we have limited daylight to do things
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and we have cold temperatures and we have
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a lack of vitamin D.
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And so the idea of what we feel
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awake and alert and motivated to do is
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shrunk down.
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We just had the longest night of the
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year,
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which is also simultaneously the shortest
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day of the year.
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and the difference between the winter
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solstice and new year's eve is like nine
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days it's not a lot of time for
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your body to be like hey i feel
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better about the shadows going away and
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the sunlight returning like cognitively we
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note that on the solstice but that is
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not something that our body feels yet it
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still feels dark it still feels cold we
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still want to bundle up and stay indoors
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and what
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else is happening culturally,
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which again is a choice,
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not a necessary thing,
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but we're just coming out of the holiday
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season.
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So November through December is sort of a
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straight sprint of capitalistic nonsense
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and stress related to
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Holidays all at a time where, again,
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it's cold and dark out in the northern
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hemisphere.
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We are drained.
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And if you are somebody who owns capital
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and you run a factory like Jeff Bezos,
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run factories like Jeff Bezos,
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where you time how many workers are on
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their bathroom break at a time and you
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need your van drivers to pee in a
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cup so that you stay on point and
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don't get behind at all.
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winding down things being tough being
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burned out feeling tapped out isn't what
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you want you want rejuvenation you want
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everybody to feel jazzed about something
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and so where capitalism has sort of taken
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a holiday that centers gratitude and made
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it about gluttony,
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where capitalism has taken a celebration
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of the darkest time of the year and
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made it about capitalism,
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about buying gifts, about consumerism,
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where that next thing goes is new year,
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new me becomes a way to blame yourself
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for systemic failures.
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We know that gym membership skyrockets in
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January.
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Gym memberships are on sale right now.
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Fitness trackers are on sale.
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All the stuff to start a new year
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with a new person attached to it is
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all on sale.
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And nothing in our late stage capitalistic
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hellhole has changed.
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It's getting worse.
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Right?
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We have a Republican president who is
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tanking the economy and starting a war for
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oil.
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Gosh, that sounds familiar.
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Who could have seen it coming?
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Literally everyone.
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Everyone.
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Everyone knew this was happening.
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And if you voted for it thinking that
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you were voting for a peace president,
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you like to follow propaganda and should
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work on your critical thinking skills.
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No,
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this is a terrible time to start a
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new workout routine.
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This is a terrible time to try and
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make life changes based on the arbitrary
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switch of the calendar number from twenty
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five to twenty six.
00:05:16.425 --> 00:05:16.564
Again,
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the difference between December thirty
00:05:18.425 --> 00:05:20.487
first twenty twenty five and January first
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twenty twenty six is nothing.
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There's no change there.
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There are some people maybe reset their
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financial calendars,
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although a lot of people do that in
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June, businesses, corporations anyway.
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Like nothing changes.
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The amount of sunshine we get is pretty
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much the same.
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The temperatures we get pretty much the
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same.
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Nothing for our external bodies,
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the rhythms, where we're at changes.
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It's cold.
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Nothing's growing.
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The world around us is cold and
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hibernating.
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And again, we don't need to hibernate,
00:06:01.199 --> 00:06:02.701
but now isn't the time to be like,
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let's go start something new.
00:06:07.668 --> 00:06:09.250
And resolutions, you know,
00:06:09.329 --> 00:06:11.230
I've talked about this piece of it a
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lot more in the past.
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Resolutions are not a way to do things.
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We do not make change in our life
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based on declarations.
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I'm a marriage therapist.
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When I see people who are in a
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crisis mode in their relationship,
00:06:26.355 --> 00:06:29.016
they will often do any sort of bargaining
00:06:29.055 --> 00:06:31.437
they can to keep their relationship
00:06:31.476 --> 00:06:31.776
afloat.
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I'll never do that again is a declaration.
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I'll do anything for you as a declaration.
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And these things are never true because
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they're unsustainable.
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We don't make changes based on
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declarations.
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We make changes based on setting ourselves
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up for success in an environment that
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allows for and supports change is
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necessary to make a change.
00:06:54.898 --> 00:06:57.119
small incremental change is far more
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likely than big swinging big swing changes
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that that change significant portions of
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our life in a short amount of time
00:07:05.822 --> 00:07:07.884
those things just don't happen all that
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often and those changes that do happen in
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a short amount of time are usually not
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positive ones so um
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Setting yourself up for incremental change
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over time and making sure that you have
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a structure that supports change,
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making sure that you have prepped your
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environment,
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whether that's the people around you or
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the physical space you exist in or the
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logistics that dictate your life.
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Those things all need to be prepped for
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change and changed, generally speaking,
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slowly and incrementally over time instead
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of just in one fell swoop.
00:07:38.432 --> 00:07:40.613
It does not work that way.
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Right?
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So this is a bad system.
00:07:43.853 --> 00:07:46.415
I declare new year, new me.
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It's like Michael Scott standing in the
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office yelling that he declares
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bankruptcy.
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Like making a declaration doesn't make it
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true.
00:07:54.641 --> 00:07:57.283
And so a lot of this stuff is
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never gonna work.
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And again,
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I hate sort of being the like party
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pooper who comes in and says,
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this is dumb and won't work.
00:08:08.725 --> 00:08:09.665
I mean, I don't hate it.
00:08:09.745 --> 00:08:11.346
My brain really likes pointing out why
00:08:11.365 --> 00:08:12.666
things are stupid and won't work.
00:08:14.127 --> 00:08:17.189
But I'm not like this huge downer of
00:08:17.209 --> 00:08:17.629
a person.
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I love ritual.
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I think the idea that we as a
00:08:21.290 --> 00:08:23.432
society all take time off and celebrate
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something together is in theory a
00:08:26.673 --> 00:08:27.574
wonderful idea.
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part of the reason the solstice got
00:08:30.221 --> 00:08:32.182
celebrated was like to mark the passage of
00:08:32.243 --> 00:08:32.503
time.
00:08:32.562 --> 00:08:36.144
And I think that's useful and necessary.
00:08:36.183 --> 00:08:36.264
Well,
00:08:36.364 --> 00:08:38.924
I'm a fan of celebrating the solstice,
00:08:41.044 --> 00:08:42.885
but the reason why something like
00:08:42.926 --> 00:08:45.066
Christmas got tacked onto that was for
00:08:45.125 --> 00:08:45.905
political reasons.
00:08:46.385 --> 00:08:47.206
There's a whole big thing.
00:08:47.267 --> 00:08:48.866
I'm a religious trauma therapist.
00:08:48.886 --> 00:08:50.187
Don't come in my comments and try and
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tell me what Christmas is about.
00:08:55.313 --> 00:08:56.936
the but that time of year why was
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that a celebration well before we had
00:08:59.057 --> 00:09:01.080
modern refrigeration the things that were
00:09:01.139 --> 00:09:04.442
fresh and were going to eventually um
00:09:04.822 --> 00:09:06.163
deteriorate to the point where you
00:09:06.183 --> 00:09:07.725
couldn't eat them needed to get eaten by
00:09:07.765 --> 00:09:10.087
now right if harvesting was in september
00:09:10.148 --> 00:09:13.510
october maybe late into november those
00:09:13.571 --> 00:09:16.494
things those food stores were running low
00:09:16.653 --> 00:09:18.235
and the things that needed to be eaten
00:09:18.275 --> 00:09:19.356
before they went bad
00:09:19.946 --> 00:09:22.307
got eaten at a big festival.
00:09:22.368 --> 00:09:24.328
Let's throw a celebration.
00:09:24.389 --> 00:09:26.649
Let's pool our resources together to get
00:09:26.870 --> 00:09:28.772
one big meal, one big party,
00:09:28.912 --> 00:09:29.913
one big celebration.
00:09:30.373 --> 00:09:32.413
And then we're going to huddle and sort
00:09:32.433 --> 00:09:34.535
of hunker down for the rest of the
00:09:34.556 --> 00:09:36.496
winter until we can get back to spring,
00:09:36.797 --> 00:09:39.239
which is when new things start growing and
00:09:39.278 --> 00:09:42.461
we can do our planning and stuff.
00:09:42.561 --> 00:09:44.381
And so you had this celebration where
00:09:44.422 --> 00:09:44.923
people could
00:09:45.750 --> 00:09:47.792
again collaborate on what they had
00:09:47.831 --> 00:09:50.812
available to make a a ritualistic
00:09:50.972 --> 00:09:53.394
celebration a party you also had a
00:09:53.734 --> 00:09:55.355
opportunity to meet with people and
00:09:55.414 --> 00:09:59.096
exchange goods in preparation for your
00:09:59.216 --> 00:10:01.956
spring season so swapping seeds and
00:10:02.397 --> 00:10:05.097
whatever else you're going to be doing you
00:10:05.138 --> 00:10:07.619
had this exchange of goods and the
00:10:07.698 --> 00:10:09.840
celebration all available because again
00:10:10.679 --> 00:10:12.520
we're not hibernating creatures so we
00:10:12.561 --> 00:10:14.142
don't turn it off for three months but
00:10:14.442 --> 00:10:16.943
but winter is a time to plan to
00:10:17.004 --> 00:10:19.885
strategize to think about spring it isn't
00:10:19.926 --> 00:10:21.407
necessarily planting season you're not
00:10:21.447 --> 00:10:23.008
starting something new yet you're just
00:10:23.087 --> 00:10:25.729
pondering it if anything new year's
00:10:25.769 --> 00:10:27.870
resolutions should be about contemplating
00:10:28.291 --> 00:10:30.011
what you would like to see differently in
00:10:30.111 --> 00:10:30.753
your year
00:10:31.899 --> 00:10:32.841
and prepping,
00:10:33.721 --> 00:10:36.083
setting the structure up for success for
00:10:36.104 --> 00:10:38.346
the spring when the days are warmer,
00:10:38.505 --> 00:10:39.346
the days are longer,
00:10:39.386 --> 00:10:41.288
we have more sunshine, it's warmer out,
00:10:41.327 --> 00:10:43.309
we're more interested in doing something
00:10:43.429 --> 00:10:47.754
different naturally in our normal rhythms
00:10:48.053 --> 00:10:50.076
as a creature that exists in the
00:10:50.216 --> 00:10:52.658
environment of the Northern hemisphere of
00:10:52.758 --> 00:10:53.418
the world,
00:10:53.499 --> 00:10:56.081
the world around us is coming to life
00:10:56.160 --> 00:10:57.761
and that's a natural time to also do
00:10:57.802 --> 00:10:58.001
that.
00:10:58.643 --> 00:10:59.003
And so,
00:11:00.096 --> 00:11:01.638
know thinking in terms of like what's
00:11:01.778 --> 00:11:03.980
what's the old school where did our
00:11:05.441 --> 00:11:08.182
earlier humans where did homo sapiens get
00:11:08.222 --> 00:11:10.043
some of this idea well like it made
00:11:10.144 --> 00:11:13.066
practical sense then and i think as we've
00:11:13.265 --> 00:11:15.006
industrialized and certainly the modern
00:11:15.027 --> 00:11:16.788
world has moved away from any sort of
00:11:16.888 --> 00:11:19.690
ritual that is practical um and it's
00:11:19.750 --> 00:11:22.532
mostly rooted in consumerism these these
00:11:22.591 --> 00:11:24.793
ideas get lost and they get shifted to
00:11:24.933 --> 00:11:29.716
well it's it's christmas so why not um
00:11:31.229 --> 00:11:31.548
And you know,
00:11:31.609 --> 00:11:33.429
like not everybody was doing things cause
00:11:33.450 --> 00:11:35.490
it was practical and ritualistic.
00:11:35.509 --> 00:11:37.410
Some of that was control methods too, of,
00:11:37.571 --> 00:11:40.831
of sacrifices and appeasing the gods for a
00:11:40.912 --> 00:11:43.212
pleasant winter or for a good spring
00:11:43.293 --> 00:11:45.072
season or, or whatever, you know,
00:11:45.092 --> 00:11:47.474
like some of the, these rituals I'm not,
00:11:47.533 --> 00:11:47.974
so I'm like,
00:11:47.994 --> 00:11:50.294
let's return to an agrarian culture.
00:11:51.288 --> 00:11:52.528
am a little bit like that but i'm
00:11:52.568 --> 00:11:55.610
aware that it's impractical uh but like
00:11:55.669 --> 00:11:58.451
you know i'm not suggesting that early
00:11:58.510 --> 00:12:02.513
homo sapiens or even you know the humans
00:12:02.533 --> 00:12:04.273
in the eight hundreds had it figured out
00:12:04.472 --> 00:12:07.313
like the feudal system is still around we
00:12:07.354 --> 00:12:09.634
we haven't improved on it except for the
00:12:09.674 --> 00:12:11.596
people who are landowners have improved on
00:12:12.015 --> 00:12:15.937
the space between them and the peons and
00:12:15.996 --> 00:12:18.638
so less likely to have uprisings and
00:12:19.667 --> 00:12:21.370
French revolutions, unfortunately.
00:12:27.778 --> 00:12:30.500
idea of coming together as a community as
00:12:30.519 --> 00:12:32.941
a culture again late-stage capitalism has
00:12:32.980 --> 00:12:35.522
taken that piece away too some of these
00:12:35.562 --> 00:12:39.943
celebrations are um familial in nature
00:12:39.984 --> 00:12:41.485
again thanksgiving christmas pretty much
00:12:41.504 --> 00:12:44.745
all i talk about are family of uh
00:12:44.765 --> 00:12:48.287
origin stressors that people have and you
00:12:48.307 --> 00:12:49.868
know it's not community-based it's not
00:12:49.908 --> 00:12:51.428
getting together with your geographic
00:12:51.448 --> 00:12:53.788
location it's getting together with your
00:12:54.409 --> 00:12:56.471
quote-unquote nuclear family and again
00:12:56.510 --> 00:12:57.270
like i'm speaking
00:12:58.975 --> 00:13:01.398
generally about what the culture does.
00:13:02.399 --> 00:13:03.679
I'm not saying that I agree with it
00:13:03.960 --> 00:13:04.821
or I think it's healthy.
00:13:04.860 --> 00:13:05.140
Again,
00:13:05.480 --> 00:13:06.782
if you're getting together with community
00:13:06.822 --> 00:13:08.062
and you're doing chosen family stuff,
00:13:08.082 --> 00:13:08.884
that's great and lovely.
00:13:08.923 --> 00:13:11.625
And I think that's what we as human
00:13:11.666 --> 00:13:12.767
beings should be doing.
00:13:12.807 --> 00:13:13.167
But again,
00:13:13.567 --> 00:13:15.969
this isn't pooling of resources.
00:13:16.049 --> 00:13:18.751
This isn't coming together as a community.
00:13:18.792 --> 00:13:19.131
Again,
00:13:19.251 --> 00:13:22.754
the nuclear family is a creation of
00:13:23.695 --> 00:13:25.956
to individualize us because we're easier
00:13:25.995 --> 00:13:27.236
to one control,
00:13:27.277 --> 00:13:29.298
but also if you're in a capitalistic
00:13:29.357 --> 00:13:31.938
society, you can sell more things, right?
00:13:32.019 --> 00:13:35.700
The classic example is if you need one
00:13:35.740 --> 00:13:36.341
neighborhood,
00:13:36.480 --> 00:13:38.041
you need one hammer in the entire
00:13:38.061 --> 00:13:38.682
neighborhood,
00:13:39.302 --> 00:13:40.883
capitalism teaches everybody that they
00:13:40.903 --> 00:13:42.462
need their own hammer, right?
00:13:42.623 --> 00:13:46.664
And so having to, you know, travel,
00:13:46.725 --> 00:13:48.385
having to go home to see your family,
00:13:48.405 --> 00:13:49.826
like we have time off,
00:13:49.866 --> 00:13:52.528
but it's not really to do anything.
00:13:55.083 --> 00:13:57.445
It's not everybody gets two weeks off in
00:13:57.605 --> 00:13:59.326
June and July to go out on the
00:13:59.365 --> 00:14:01.846
lake and enjoy nature and do stuff.
00:14:01.927 --> 00:14:05.168
And I like winter stuff.
00:14:05.327 --> 00:14:06.687
I like ice fishing.
00:14:07.227 --> 00:14:08.208
I like snowmobiling.
00:14:08.308 --> 00:14:11.690
I like tromping through the forest with
00:14:11.769 --> 00:14:12.870
snow.
00:14:13.149 --> 00:14:14.890
A big part of our break was being
00:14:14.971 --> 00:14:16.931
out on a frozen pond near us and
00:14:16.971 --> 00:14:21.253
just playing in the snow, on the ice.
00:14:22.042 --> 00:14:25.303
building forts and collecting sticks and
00:14:25.403 --> 00:14:27.125
breaking through the ice with big enough
00:14:27.184 --> 00:14:27.684
sticks.
00:14:27.764 --> 00:14:30.907
And yeah, little kids, that's what we do.
00:14:30.966 --> 00:14:32.126
I like winter.
00:14:32.888 --> 00:14:34.668
Again, it's not about hibernating.
00:14:34.729 --> 00:14:36.830
It's about hunkering down.
00:14:36.850 --> 00:14:38.390
It's about we have limited light.
00:14:38.431 --> 00:14:40.511
We have limited days that aren't painful
00:14:40.552 --> 00:14:41.312
to be outside.
00:14:43.493 --> 00:14:46.394
And so again, resolutions.
00:14:48.259 --> 00:14:50.621
Resolutions being about prepping for
00:14:50.701 --> 00:14:54.686
change and ritual being about community is
00:14:54.765 --> 00:14:56.626
not where we're at, even though that is,
00:14:56.746 --> 00:14:59.350
in theory, what could have been,
00:14:59.409 --> 00:15:06.855
what used to be.
00:15:07.917 --> 00:15:09.357
It's hard for me to not get off
00:15:09.398 --> 00:15:12.020
topic here on capitalism is still just the
00:15:12.041 --> 00:15:12.640
feudal system.
00:15:13.142 --> 00:15:15.043
I mean, old school rituals...
00:15:17.307 --> 00:15:20.668
early workers in sort of an agrarian
00:15:20.688 --> 00:15:23.830
culture in the feudal system had about a
00:15:23.909 --> 00:15:26.772
hundred to a hundred fifty days off that
00:15:26.792 --> 00:15:30.352
were either celebrations or ceremonies or
00:15:30.393 --> 00:15:32.553
ritual gatherings where they were not
00:15:32.614 --> 00:15:33.534
devoted to labor.
00:15:34.480 --> 00:15:34.779
And again,
00:15:34.799 --> 00:15:37.222
ritual time served as coming together as
00:15:37.263 --> 00:15:39.865
community, served as a stress reliever,
00:15:40.046 --> 00:15:42.249
served as an opportunity to exchange
00:15:42.688 --> 00:15:44.250
resources and share goods.
00:15:44.291 --> 00:15:47.634
It was about social bonding and rest as
00:15:47.674 --> 00:15:50.457
opposed to now it being about excess and
00:15:50.518 --> 00:15:52.940
about productivity and grind culture.
00:15:54.642 --> 00:15:55.322
New year,
00:15:55.381 --> 00:15:58.484
new me is usually like gym or weight
00:15:58.524 --> 00:16:00.965
loss or a productivity goal or a financial
00:16:00.985 --> 00:16:02.025
goal for how much money we're going to
00:16:02.046 --> 00:16:03.866
make in the new year or whatever.
00:16:04.567 --> 00:16:07.428
And so like late-stage capitalism is able
00:16:07.448 --> 00:16:10.409
to take the community out of it and
00:16:10.470 --> 00:16:12.652
also replaces sort of the goal as like,
00:16:12.672 --> 00:16:13.912
what do I want to do for my
00:16:13.932 --> 00:16:14.633
community?
00:16:14.692 --> 00:16:16.232
What do I want to do to be
00:16:16.253 --> 00:16:17.014
a better person?
00:16:17.553 --> 00:16:21.316
And makes it about self-reliance and
00:16:21.375 --> 00:16:22.557
self-surveillance.
00:16:23.682 --> 00:16:24.124
Again,
00:16:24.224 --> 00:16:26.105
it's one of the new things where fitness
00:16:26.125 --> 00:16:27.385
and wellness is not about,
00:16:27.946 --> 00:16:29.447
are you well rested?
00:16:29.966 --> 00:16:31.368
Are you well liked?
00:16:31.427 --> 00:16:33.009
Are you well connected in your community?
00:16:33.028 --> 00:16:35.730
It's about what's the number on the scale?
00:16:35.791 --> 00:16:37.753
Are you eating healthy enough?
00:16:38.613 --> 00:16:41.995
um it's fitness trackers that are showing
00:16:42.235 --> 00:16:44.855
your your problems with sleep when the
00:16:44.895 --> 00:16:47.378
world is on fire and there's a poly
00:16:47.418 --> 00:16:51.919
crisis going on of politics and finances
00:16:52.200 --> 00:16:55.701
and multiple genocides climate change and
00:16:55.782 --> 00:16:57.682
multiple disasters and you have all of
00:16:57.702 --> 00:16:59.443
this information and then you're like
00:16:59.484 --> 00:17:01.804
tracking your sleep as if you not sleeping
00:17:01.845 --> 00:17:03.284
well is a you problem instead of a
00:17:03.365 --> 00:17:04.006
world problem
00:17:04.861 --> 00:17:05.080
Right.
00:17:05.421 --> 00:17:08.221
Tracking your heart rate and not
00:17:08.301 --> 00:17:10.042
acknowledging that like you might be under
00:17:10.242 --> 00:17:11.403
certain financial strain.
00:17:12.462 --> 00:17:13.923
I had an aura ring for a while
00:17:13.963 --> 00:17:15.944
as the fitness tracker you wear as a
00:17:15.984 --> 00:17:16.265
ring.
00:17:16.785 --> 00:17:18.325
And like I liked it for tracking my
00:17:18.365 --> 00:17:18.704
sleep.
00:17:19.365 --> 00:17:20.546
I don't have it on now.
00:17:20.605 --> 00:17:23.047
Not wearing a ring beyond my wedding ring
00:17:23.727 --> 00:17:26.647
because the subscription model is
00:17:26.827 --> 00:17:27.407
nonsense.
00:17:27.528 --> 00:17:27.748
Again,
00:17:27.768 --> 00:17:29.068
the idea that we don't own anything.
00:17:29.229 --> 00:17:29.449
Right.
00:17:29.588 --> 00:17:32.009
And isn't helpful.
00:17:32.349 --> 00:17:32.609
And
00:17:34.154 --> 00:17:35.076
They're expensive.
00:17:35.415 --> 00:17:37.018
When mine broke, it was like, yeah,
00:17:37.038 --> 00:17:38.598
I reset my sleep and I learned some
00:17:38.659 --> 00:17:40.099
things about my sleep patterns and that's
00:17:40.140 --> 00:17:40.500
helpful.
00:17:40.721 --> 00:17:42.461
And I don't need to keep re-upping this
00:17:42.501 --> 00:17:45.986
to make a capitalistic purchase about my
00:17:46.465 --> 00:17:47.227
health and wellness.
00:17:47.326 --> 00:17:47.567
Again,
00:17:47.666 --> 00:17:49.808
if you get benefit from the trackers,
00:17:49.848 --> 00:17:51.810
I'm not speaking out against them.
00:17:52.050 --> 00:17:53.731
I like them for athletes.
00:17:53.751 --> 00:17:55.773
I like them for people who are interested
00:17:55.794 --> 00:17:57.355
in making a lifestyle change.
00:17:57.816 --> 00:17:58.135
But again,
00:17:58.175 --> 00:18:00.958
the idea of self-surveillance is these
00:18:01.018 --> 00:18:01.458
things,
00:18:01.498 --> 00:18:03.278
whether it's fitness or productivity,
00:18:03.819 --> 00:18:05.701
weight loss goals, fitness goals,
00:18:05.740 --> 00:18:06.741
whatever it is,
00:18:07.041 --> 00:18:10.864
is couched in productivity-based language.
00:18:10.884 --> 00:18:11.845
It's grind culture.
00:18:11.884 --> 00:18:12.865
It's not wellness.
00:18:13.586 --> 00:18:15.287
And even the wellness culture is often
00:18:15.326 --> 00:18:16.007
grind culture.
00:18:16.027 --> 00:18:16.728
It's not wellness.
00:18:18.048 --> 00:18:20.289
And so these things are,
00:18:20.490 --> 00:18:21.631
I'm going to be more efficient.
00:18:21.651 --> 00:18:23.291
I'm going to be more productive as
00:18:23.352 --> 00:18:26.314
resolutions are capitalistic in nature.
00:18:26.394 --> 00:18:26.773
They are not
00:18:27.961 --> 00:18:31.282
human they're not they're not worse we're
00:18:31.343 --> 00:18:35.284
self-aware primates right you're not going
00:18:35.304 --> 00:18:37.164
to find a different primate out there
00:18:37.204 --> 00:18:40.727
who's worried about productivity in the
00:18:40.747 --> 00:18:44.008
new year we're designed to be doing
00:18:44.048 --> 00:18:46.028
repetitive tasks in a field and picking
00:18:46.088 --> 00:18:48.190
bugs off of each other right like that's
00:18:49.651 --> 00:18:52.132
and we could be doing that um
00:18:53.472 --> 00:18:55.012
so you know the the way that we
00:18:55.032 --> 00:18:57.614
do new year's resolutions now internalize
00:18:58.554 --> 00:19:02.414
blame for systemic problems they they take
00:19:02.934 --> 00:19:04.675
exhaustion and say that's a you problem
00:19:04.715 --> 00:19:06.276
you are not trying hard enough you're not
00:19:06.316 --> 00:19:08.017
working effectively enough you're not
00:19:08.396 --> 00:19:13.597
doing or being or tracking enough things
00:19:13.718 --> 00:19:16.199
instead of like hey why the isn't
00:19:16.338 --> 00:19:19.618
healthcare available to everyone it's a
00:19:19.699 --> 00:19:21.619
uniquely american problem um
00:19:23.000 --> 00:19:24.823
Why aren't our kids safe when we drop
00:19:24.843 --> 00:19:25.844
them off at school?
00:19:27.786 --> 00:19:29.528
Why are guns the number one killer of
00:19:29.587 --> 00:19:30.028
children?
00:19:30.989 --> 00:19:31.470
That's a problem.
00:19:32.790 --> 00:19:33.672
And so the...
00:19:35.426 --> 00:19:37.807
resolutions are not for a better community
00:19:37.907 --> 00:19:39.628
are not for a better culture are not
00:19:39.669 --> 00:19:42.609
for better policies they're individual
00:19:42.650 --> 00:19:45.530
resolutions so that we're not looking at
00:19:45.570 --> 00:19:49.272
the wider issues and it's not about class
00:19:49.313 --> 00:19:51.814
or culture or any sort of higher level
00:19:51.874 --> 00:19:55.095
system um or raising the consciousness of
00:19:55.115 --> 00:19:57.895
the system so it's it's individualized
00:19:57.935 --> 00:20:00.797
because then the system at large
00:20:00.936 --> 00:20:02.298
capitalism doesn't need to make any
00:20:02.357 --> 00:20:04.919
changes so you know
00:20:07.222 --> 00:20:09.624
resolve to hold your local politicians.
00:20:11.069 --> 00:20:14.471
account um and again this all fits then
00:20:14.570 --> 00:20:16.192
from a capitalistic perspective on like
00:20:16.271 --> 00:20:18.492
why do new year's eve why do new
00:20:18.532 --> 00:20:21.374
year's as the time for resolutions as
00:20:21.413 --> 00:20:23.555
opposed to a better time is because
00:20:23.615 --> 00:20:26.276
failure is part of the process right gym
00:20:26.316 --> 00:20:29.136
memberships spike in january and they
00:20:29.176 --> 00:20:32.157
don't maintain through february this is
00:20:32.198 --> 00:20:34.479
like a well-known well-tracked phenomenon
00:20:35.740 --> 00:20:38.101
resolutions i'm declaring i'm going to be
00:20:38.141 --> 00:20:38.560
healthier
00:20:39.739 --> 00:20:41.259
aren't what keeps motivation alive.
00:20:41.299 --> 00:20:42.780
One of my many mantras in therapy,
00:20:43.681 --> 00:20:45.001
one of my top mantras in therapy is
00:20:45.021 --> 00:20:46.563
motivation feeds on success.
00:20:47.703 --> 00:20:50.424
And so our brain requires checking that
00:20:50.444 --> 00:20:52.406
box, crossing that thing off the list,
00:20:52.446 --> 00:20:53.547
getting that little feel good,
00:20:53.567 --> 00:20:54.327
hit a dopamine.
00:20:55.107 --> 00:20:56.368
When we complete a task,
00:20:56.848 --> 00:20:58.890
makes us keep completing tasks.
00:20:59.049 --> 00:21:01.731
And so when it's dark, when it's cold,
00:21:01.791 --> 00:21:02.913
when it's hard to do things,
00:21:02.932 --> 00:21:04.032
we're at our lowest energy,
00:21:04.113 --> 00:21:04.933
least amount of daylight,
00:21:05.375 --> 00:21:07.037
Most amount of debt because we just spent
00:21:07.057 --> 00:21:08.979
a bunch of money on consumeristic
00:21:09.019 --> 00:21:09.578
holidays.
00:21:10.318 --> 00:21:12.461
And shame, right?
00:21:12.621 --> 00:21:14.682
Like, I don't know about y'all,
00:21:14.722 --> 00:21:17.044
but my workout routine wasn't the best
00:21:17.104 --> 00:21:17.944
over the holidays.
00:21:18.045 --> 00:21:20.527
My eating habits aren't the best when
00:21:20.567 --> 00:21:23.709
there's fudge available.
00:21:23.749 --> 00:21:25.289
Come on, right?
00:21:26.301 --> 00:21:27.823
And again, there's a balancing act.
00:21:27.843 --> 00:21:29.442
I'm not saying it's unhealthy or bad to
00:21:29.482 --> 00:21:30.643
participate in any of that stuff.
00:21:30.722 --> 00:21:32.344
If you like Christmas cookies as part of
00:21:32.364 --> 00:21:35.444
your ritual with your chosen community,
00:21:35.884 --> 00:21:36.365
that's awesome.
00:21:36.484 --> 00:21:37.424
Do that.
00:21:37.726 --> 00:21:38.566
I love fudge.
00:21:38.685 --> 00:21:40.405
It's so good.
00:21:41.126 --> 00:21:42.027
I'm an old man now.
00:21:42.047 --> 00:21:42.787
It gives me heartburn.
00:21:43.067 --> 00:21:43.906
It's too rich.
00:21:44.367 --> 00:21:45.268
It's still delicious.
00:21:47.288 --> 00:21:50.511
So we're high on debt,
00:21:50.853 --> 00:21:51.953
we're low on energy,
00:21:51.993 --> 00:21:53.134
we're low on sunlight,
00:21:53.335 --> 00:21:56.258
and we're high on shame.
00:21:56.758 --> 00:21:59.320
People doing things they didn't feel good
00:21:59.361 --> 00:22:01.041
about, whether it's eating too much,
00:22:01.082 --> 00:22:04.045
drinking too much, whatever it is.
00:22:05.465 --> 00:22:06.906
My camera died today while I was in
00:22:06.926 --> 00:22:07.866
my own therapy session.
00:22:07.886 --> 00:22:09.248
I had to switch to my not nice
00:22:09.288 --> 00:22:09.587
camera.
00:22:09.607 --> 00:22:10.708
I was like, oh no,
00:22:10.728 --> 00:22:11.969
look how pasty I am.
00:22:12.088 --> 00:22:14.029
Because I live in Wisconsin and you don't
00:22:14.069 --> 00:22:14.750
go out in the sun.
00:22:14.789 --> 00:22:15.609
And if you do go out in the
00:22:15.650 --> 00:22:18.471
sun, everything is covered.
00:22:18.491 --> 00:22:19.672
We don't have that much snow right now.
00:22:19.711 --> 00:22:21.232
But even just like protecting your
00:22:21.333 --> 00:22:22.873
eyeballs from getting sunburned is an
00:22:22.893 --> 00:22:24.794
important thing if you live in the cold
00:22:24.834 --> 00:22:27.434
part of the Northern Hemisphere.
00:22:27.474 --> 00:22:28.695
So all of this stuff is like,
00:22:30.615 --> 00:22:31.595
You know,
00:22:31.615 --> 00:22:33.895
French philosopher Guy Debord wrote a
00:22:33.976 --> 00:22:35.316
great book called The Society of
00:22:35.395 --> 00:22:36.036
Spectacle.
00:22:36.797 --> 00:22:37.797
This is all spectacle.
00:22:37.817 --> 00:22:40.037
This is performative change.
00:22:40.176 --> 00:22:43.198
This is not about actually changing
00:22:43.258 --> 00:22:43.758
anything,
00:22:43.837 --> 00:22:45.259
certainly not about systemic change.
00:22:45.679 --> 00:22:48.440
It's theater in the service of
00:22:48.559 --> 00:22:49.940
productivity still.
00:22:50.539 --> 00:22:54.101
And so we feel good and motivated because
00:22:56.442 --> 00:22:56.981
somebody
00:22:58.990 --> 00:23:01.011
decided the Gregorian calendar's gonna
00:23:01.132 --> 00:23:01.592
change,
00:23:01.612 --> 00:23:03.893
which isn't even a good calendar system,
00:23:04.673 --> 00:23:04.952
right?
00:23:04.992 --> 00:23:06.834
We could have thirteen months of
00:23:06.874 --> 00:23:07.673
twenty-eight days.
00:23:07.953 --> 00:23:09.834
That would track what the moon is doing
00:23:09.875 --> 00:23:11.194
and what the seasons are doing much,
00:23:11.255 --> 00:23:11.815
much better.
00:23:12.414 --> 00:23:14.195
Why is everything we do so stupid?
00:23:17.497 --> 00:23:19.397
But this is a fantasy,
00:23:19.458 --> 00:23:20.817
and then when the fantasy fails,
00:23:20.978 --> 00:23:23.038
it's an individual failing instead of a
00:23:23.098 --> 00:23:23.699
systemic one.
00:23:24.384 --> 00:23:27.806
so it certainly serves to keep the greasy
00:23:27.865 --> 00:23:31.086
wheel of capitalism and grind culture and
00:23:31.106 --> 00:23:36.869
productivity first moving along um as
00:23:36.930 --> 00:23:38.510
opposed to like a time of quiet
00:23:38.550 --> 00:23:40.392
contemplation where we could say like why
00:23:40.412 --> 00:23:42.112
am i so tired why am i burnt
00:23:42.231 --> 00:23:44.733
out why isn't healthcare accessible why
00:23:44.773 --> 00:23:48.575
are guns more protected than children why
00:23:48.615 --> 00:23:51.737
are why is oil cared about far more
00:23:51.777 --> 00:23:53.877
than women and children um
00:23:56.789 --> 00:23:58.371
do i hate my job why do most
00:23:58.431 --> 00:24:00.853
people not like their jobs why is it
00:24:01.953 --> 00:24:04.195
okay that ai is gonna replace everyone
00:24:04.236 --> 00:24:06.738
what happens when ai replaces everyone no
00:24:06.778 --> 00:24:07.979
one's working and none of us have any
00:24:08.019 --> 00:24:11.182
money like what what's the plan like again
00:24:11.221 --> 00:24:12.883
there there is no plan right and
00:24:13.163 --> 00:24:15.704
capitalists goal is just to divert our
00:24:15.724 --> 00:24:17.247
attention so that we're not asking that
00:24:17.287 --> 00:24:20.048
question shareholders and the people who
00:24:20.088 --> 00:24:23.531
hold capital are not thinking about a
00:24:23.592 --> 00:24:25.153
future they're thinking about the next
00:24:25.212 --> 00:24:26.213
financial quarter
00:24:27.048 --> 00:24:30.849
And so a time of quiet contemplation and
00:24:30.869 --> 00:24:34.251
reflection is scary for them because it
00:24:34.352 --> 00:24:35.771
doesn't take very long for people to
00:24:35.791 --> 00:24:38.634
realize this sucks and it sucks on purpose
00:24:39.054 --> 00:24:40.414
and the purpose is stupid.
00:24:40.434 --> 00:24:44.497
I swear I do feel like a bit
00:24:44.537 --> 00:24:45.076
of a downer.
00:24:51.659 --> 00:24:53.582
Let's look up some hopefulness.
00:24:54.663 --> 00:25:00.573
Sorry, I'm bad at being earnest.
00:25:00.613 --> 00:25:02.335
What would work for resolution?
00:25:02.434 --> 00:25:03.998
Again, I think a different time frame.
00:25:04.057 --> 00:25:05.279
Now is the time for
00:25:06.137 --> 00:25:08.200
Thinking about how you want to plant your
00:25:08.220 --> 00:25:10.321
garden, organizing your seeds,
00:25:10.882 --> 00:25:13.503
looking at changes you want to make,
00:25:13.544 --> 00:25:14.605
looking at the data,
00:25:14.664 --> 00:25:16.207
the information we have from the last
00:25:16.247 --> 00:25:18.348
year, and prepping for change,
00:25:18.729 --> 00:25:20.109
not trying to implement change yet.
00:25:20.289 --> 00:25:24.493
And so I think thinking about what do
00:25:24.513 --> 00:25:25.894
we need to do differently in our
00:25:25.954 --> 00:25:27.395
environment to create change?
00:25:27.415 --> 00:25:27.676
Yeah.
00:25:28.702 --> 00:25:30.584
physical space, often,
00:25:31.684 --> 00:25:33.905
a structure within our schedules,
00:25:33.945 --> 00:25:34.766
logistics,
00:25:35.046 --> 00:25:37.407
planning for those types of changes,
00:25:38.387 --> 00:25:39.509
figuring out what support looks like.
00:25:39.528 --> 00:25:41.269
And all those environmental changes,
00:25:41.710 --> 00:25:43.270
changing our ecosystem is going to be
00:25:43.310 --> 00:25:43.651
helpful,
00:25:43.971 --> 00:25:47.053
but also support from other people,
00:25:47.232 --> 00:25:49.294
friends, family, professionals.
00:25:49.314 --> 00:25:51.035
Do you need a new therapist?
00:25:51.075 --> 00:25:52.695
Do you need a personal trainer?
00:25:52.736 --> 00:25:53.997
Do you need to join a
00:25:54.636 --> 00:25:56.417
a class or a group?
00:25:56.518 --> 00:25:58.839
Are you investing in your community so
00:25:58.880 --> 00:26:00.941
that change is systemic,
00:26:01.000 --> 00:26:03.301
even if it's just in that local ecosystem
00:26:03.821 --> 00:26:05.542
as opposed to wider culture?
00:26:06.703 --> 00:26:07.724
Is it safe?
00:26:07.744 --> 00:26:10.006
What do we maybe need for some stability
00:26:10.046 --> 00:26:11.106
to make this change?
00:26:11.166 --> 00:26:15.548
How can we replicate success?
00:26:15.669 --> 00:26:17.971
And I have a sports psychology background
00:26:18.651 --> 00:26:20.071
as a high-level athlete myself,
00:26:20.112 --> 00:26:21.712
being in a sports family growing up.
00:26:21.813 --> 00:26:21.952
Like,
00:26:23.205 --> 00:26:24.787
you can learn from your mistakes,
00:26:24.826 --> 00:26:26.969
but you also want to know what replicating
00:26:27.009 --> 00:26:27.829
success looks like.
00:26:27.869 --> 00:26:29.191
If you want to talk about when do
00:26:29.211 --> 00:26:30.952
we feel motivated to make change,
00:26:31.613 --> 00:26:33.015
motivation feeds on success.
00:26:33.055 --> 00:26:33.976
So if we focus on how do we
00:26:34.096 --> 00:26:35.656
replicate success,
00:26:36.357 --> 00:26:38.058
not for productivity's sake,
00:26:38.118 --> 00:26:39.780
not for efficiency's sake,
00:26:39.840 --> 00:26:41.461
but because this is what works well for
00:26:41.741 --> 00:26:44.484
us, we have evidence that it works well.
00:26:44.825 --> 00:26:47.827
It's so hard to keep individualistic
00:26:47.907 --> 00:26:48.788
thinking at bay.
00:26:48.909 --> 00:26:50.230
I'm an American and I'm
00:26:50.737 --> 00:26:51.557
a white male,
00:26:51.616 --> 00:26:53.538
and so the water I swim in is
00:26:53.577 --> 00:26:54.998
still individualistic.
00:26:56.778 --> 00:26:58.680
But again,
00:26:59.839 --> 00:27:02.221
how can we replicate success so that we
00:27:02.280 --> 00:27:04.382
stay motivated for this change within an
00:27:04.442 --> 00:27:06.461
environment that is designed to support
00:27:06.622 --> 00:27:07.323
that change?
00:27:08.123 --> 00:27:09.863
That all sounds really great.
00:27:10.723 --> 00:27:10.923
And again,
00:27:13.516 --> 00:27:14.596
Marriage therapist, right?
00:27:14.616 --> 00:27:15.356
Family thinker.
00:27:15.436 --> 00:27:16.978
So individual change,
00:27:17.298 --> 00:27:19.259
behavioral change is what we call first
00:27:19.380 --> 00:27:20.059
order change.
00:27:20.140 --> 00:27:21.080
But under a doubt for a second,
00:27:21.101 --> 00:27:22.041
it's first order change.
00:27:23.422 --> 00:27:25.564
It's the simplest.
00:27:25.824 --> 00:27:27.105
The example I always use when I'm
00:27:27.164 --> 00:27:28.885
explaining this stuff to clients is
00:27:29.486 --> 00:27:31.627
quitting smoking is a behavioral change.
00:27:33.961 --> 00:27:35.363
Now there's a lot that can actually go
00:27:35.462 --> 00:27:36.943
into whether or not that's successful.
00:27:37.003 --> 00:27:38.463
Smoking is a complicated example.
00:27:38.644 --> 00:27:38.884
Again,
00:27:39.164 --> 00:27:40.625
pick it on purpose because you're talking
00:27:40.644 --> 00:27:41.726
about an addictive substance.
00:27:42.165 --> 00:27:43.027
And then we have to do all the
00:27:43.106 --> 00:27:44.007
environmental stuff,
00:27:44.067 --> 00:27:46.888
the ecosystem around just one individual
00:27:46.929 --> 00:27:49.349
changing one singular behavior actually
00:27:49.390 --> 00:27:51.810
becomes quite complex through a systemic
00:27:51.871 --> 00:27:52.250
lens.
00:27:53.432 --> 00:27:55.313
Second order change is a system changing.
00:27:55.373 --> 00:27:56.653
Generally speaking in my world,
00:27:56.673 --> 00:27:57.394
that's couples,
00:27:57.753 --> 00:27:59.434
but also family work where we're getting
00:27:59.494 --> 00:28:01.096
multiple people to agree to a
00:28:02.471 --> 00:28:04.432
behavioral change and working to make that
00:28:04.472 --> 00:28:04.992
successful.
00:28:05.452 --> 00:28:07.553
If more people are invested in making the
00:28:07.593 --> 00:28:07.933
change,
00:28:07.973 --> 00:28:09.334
the change is more likely and the change
00:28:09.354 --> 00:28:10.794
is also longer lasting.
00:28:11.835 --> 00:28:14.095
Third order change, where am I at?
00:28:14.134 --> 00:28:16.056
First order, behavior change,
00:28:16.316 --> 00:28:18.395
individual changing one behavior.
00:28:18.636 --> 00:28:19.957
Second order change is system change,
00:28:20.017 --> 00:28:21.737
multiple people committing to a change.
00:28:21.797 --> 00:28:22.637
Third order change,
00:28:23.438 --> 00:28:25.778
we talk about as a value system or
00:28:25.817 --> 00:28:27.179
an ethics change.
00:28:27.838 --> 00:28:29.559
um a belief system change and that's
00:28:29.579 --> 00:28:31.560
really powerful right and and that's not
00:28:31.800 --> 00:28:34.923
generally going to be necessary for most
00:28:35.163 --> 00:28:37.183
uh resolutions that we're talking about
00:28:37.284 --> 00:28:40.346
but again um when i talk about congruence
00:28:40.526 --> 00:28:43.768
it's thoughts were thoughts feelings um
00:28:45.050 --> 00:28:46.791
and actions all aligned under our value
00:28:46.832 --> 00:28:47.112
system.
00:28:47.152 --> 00:28:48.952
And that's, that's where, again,
00:28:48.972 --> 00:28:50.894
that's what we're talking about the system
00:28:50.933 --> 00:28:53.315
change and also like the environment that,
00:28:53.335 --> 00:28:55.215
that the change exists in is designed to
00:28:55.297 --> 00:28:55.696
support it.
00:28:56.116 --> 00:28:57.298
That's all really powerful stuff.
00:28:57.377 --> 00:28:57.557
We,
00:28:57.597 --> 00:28:59.058
we just don't experience congruence that
00:28:59.118 --> 00:28:59.358
often.
00:28:59.398 --> 00:29:00.900
It's not supposed to be a state that
00:29:00.920 --> 00:29:01.400
we get to.
00:29:01.460 --> 00:29:01.759
It's not,
00:29:02.188 --> 00:29:03.648
a finish line that we cross,
00:29:03.709 --> 00:29:05.869
it ebbs and flows because thoughts and
00:29:05.890 --> 00:29:07.810
feelings are things we experience,
00:29:07.830 --> 00:29:08.892
not things we can control.
00:29:09.271 --> 00:29:11.393
We do control our actions and we do
00:29:11.432 --> 00:29:13.213
have a lot of choice when it comes
00:29:13.253 --> 00:29:14.575
to our ethics.
00:29:14.654 --> 00:29:15.194
Although again,
00:29:15.255 --> 00:29:17.596
like that's not always intentional stuff.
00:29:18.817 --> 00:29:19.596
But intention,
00:29:19.977 --> 00:29:21.298
intention is a big word for me in
00:29:21.337 --> 00:29:21.738
therapy.
00:29:22.038 --> 00:29:22.419
And again,
00:29:22.499 --> 00:29:24.619
I think what people like about New Year's
00:29:24.660 --> 00:29:26.520
and if you're tuning in and being like,
00:29:26.560 --> 00:29:27.401
the fuck Jeremy,
00:29:27.741 --> 00:29:29.362
I'm crushing my New Year's resolutions.
00:29:29.382 --> 00:29:30.442
Why are you being such a downer?
00:29:30.987 --> 00:29:31.267
Yeah,
00:29:31.307 --> 00:29:33.169
like anytime we're living more
00:29:33.229 --> 00:29:33.970
intentionally,
00:29:34.009 --> 00:29:36.592
it has the opportunity to create change
00:29:36.632 --> 00:29:39.494
and it probably feels good when we do
00:29:39.535 --> 00:29:42.097
things aligned with our intentions,
00:29:42.117 --> 00:29:43.959
when we do things that we are choosing
00:29:43.999 --> 00:29:45.441
to do on purpose and then we're doing
00:29:45.480 --> 00:29:46.481
it, we do feel good.
00:29:47.803 --> 00:29:48.503
It's just, again,
00:29:48.523 --> 00:29:50.505
like the system we've put around making
00:29:50.566 --> 00:29:51.926
changes kind of sucks.
00:29:51.987 --> 00:29:54.028
New Year's resolutions are dumb.
00:29:59.787 --> 00:30:01.528
at this stage in my career i'm also
00:30:01.548 --> 00:30:05.571
just like aware of our bodies and rest
00:30:05.711 --> 00:30:08.234
some of that comes with the wisdom of
00:30:08.494 --> 00:30:13.298
aging where your body's just like nah not
00:30:13.318 --> 00:30:15.201
gonna do that nah not gonna feel good
00:30:15.221 --> 00:30:16.602
if you don't warm up and cool down
00:30:16.761 --> 00:30:19.304
nah gonna take a nap gonna rest you
00:30:19.364 --> 00:30:20.806
need your sleep at night
00:30:22.415 --> 00:30:24.137
But also like just focusing more on like
00:30:24.239 --> 00:30:24.960
communities,
00:30:25.319 --> 00:30:27.242
the rise of authoritarianism across the
00:30:27.284 --> 00:30:27.564
world,
00:30:27.604 --> 00:30:29.727
but specifically fascism here in America.
00:30:30.909 --> 00:30:32.271
And again, the rise,
00:30:32.592 --> 00:30:34.996
it's always been here for black and brown
00:30:35.036 --> 00:30:35.316
people.
00:30:37.357 --> 00:30:38.939
white people are experiencing it more and
00:30:38.979 --> 00:30:39.199
more,
00:30:39.878 --> 00:30:41.579
but also like class consciousness and a
00:30:41.640 --> 00:30:42.220
lot of these things,
00:30:42.259 --> 00:30:44.682
like there's a lot of community,
00:30:45.142 --> 00:30:47.042
there's a lot of second order change that
00:30:47.083 --> 00:30:50.865
needs to happen on a structural sort of
00:30:50.924 --> 00:30:51.724
policy level.
00:30:51.805 --> 00:30:54.906
And so connecting to your community and
00:30:54.946 --> 00:30:56.267
focusing on change there,
00:30:56.788 --> 00:30:58.647
resolving to build community,
00:30:58.728 --> 00:31:00.088
to connect with community,
00:31:00.189 --> 00:31:01.430
to support community,
00:31:01.549 --> 00:31:03.090
like it's all really, really great.
00:31:05.153 --> 00:31:06.193
what we need.
00:31:06.714 --> 00:31:07.875
So yeah,
00:31:07.894 --> 00:31:08.914
if you're struggling in your New Year's
00:31:08.974 --> 00:31:10.736
resolutions, know that that's on purpose.
00:31:10.776 --> 00:31:12.355
It's not a personal failing.
00:31:12.496 --> 00:31:14.297
The system of New Year's resolutions are
00:31:14.336 --> 00:31:15.217
designed for failure.
00:31:15.257 --> 00:31:16.657
New Year's resolutions aren't about hope.
00:31:16.758 --> 00:31:20.159
They're about a brief hit of positivity to
00:31:20.199 --> 00:31:21.858
keep you going through the slog that is
00:31:21.959 --> 00:31:22.259
winter.
00:31:23.904 --> 00:31:26.506
to exist in a society that does not
00:31:26.605 --> 00:31:29.167
change for the environment changing the
00:31:29.248 --> 00:31:30.868
idea that we're going to keep the same
00:31:30.909 --> 00:31:33.410
work hours when it's colder out it's
00:31:33.450 --> 00:31:36.251
darker out it's unpleasant to leave our
00:31:36.291 --> 00:31:39.192
house and move about is preposterous and
00:31:39.212 --> 00:31:40.933
that's a lie we've been told that that's
00:31:41.013 --> 00:31:41.775
even necessary
00:31:43.622 --> 00:31:46.304
Being aware of the self-surveillance and
00:31:46.344 --> 00:31:49.005
the individual nature of resolutions,
00:31:49.085 --> 00:31:50.645
whether it's success or failure,
00:31:50.685 --> 00:31:52.866
as opposed to having a systemic lens on
00:31:52.906 --> 00:31:53.207
things,
00:31:54.988 --> 00:31:58.170
ecosystem lens on culture writ large,
00:31:58.190 --> 00:32:00.631
as opposed to individualistic approaches
00:32:00.671 --> 00:32:00.951
to it.
00:32:02.603 --> 00:32:04.503
and and connecting with our bodies again
00:32:04.544 --> 00:32:06.766
like there is a natural rhythm to the
00:32:06.806 --> 00:32:09.307
world around us and our bodies adapt to
00:32:09.446 --> 00:32:11.808
that rhythm not to the rhythm that we
00:32:11.888 --> 00:32:15.010
force ourselves to follow through uh
00:32:15.912 --> 00:32:18.813
culture through acculturation through
00:32:18.932 --> 00:32:23.737
indoctrination um so yeah i don't know
00:32:23.777 --> 00:32:25.917
like january is not
00:32:26.488 --> 00:32:28.328
a particularly hopeful time.
00:32:28.628 --> 00:32:30.630
Resolutions are designed to fail and
00:32:30.690 --> 00:32:32.471
capitalism cashes in on that.
00:32:33.431 --> 00:32:36.633
This is doing what it's designed to do.
00:32:37.913 --> 00:32:41.075
New Year's themed capitalism as opposed to
00:32:41.214 --> 00:32:41.914
New Year, New Me.
00:32:45.619 --> 00:32:47.942
So yeah, it's not a you problem.
00:32:47.981 --> 00:32:48.762
You're not broken.
00:32:48.782 --> 00:32:50.144
You're not doing anything bad or wrong.
00:32:50.183 --> 00:32:52.566
The system of New Year's resolutions is
00:32:53.267 --> 00:32:54.627
always been bad or wrong.
00:32:55.429 --> 00:32:57.029
I guess for other cultures who do New
00:32:57.049 --> 00:32:58.691
Year's at different times, but like, yeah,
00:32:58.711 --> 00:32:59.251
it's spring.
00:33:00.553 --> 00:33:01.653
Your seasonal spring,
00:33:01.713 --> 00:33:02.934
wherever you're at in the world,
00:33:02.974 --> 00:33:04.936
your seasonal spring was going to be a
00:33:04.957 --> 00:33:07.338
good time to do a new year, birth,
00:33:07.419 --> 00:33:09.681
rejuvenation, fresh start, whatever.
00:33:10.079 --> 00:33:11.261
That's going to work a lot better.
00:33:11.281 --> 00:33:12.182
It's going to be aligned.
00:33:12.383 --> 00:33:14.586
And again, practically speaking,
00:33:14.605 --> 00:33:16.567
you have to set yourself up for success.
00:33:16.607 --> 00:33:19.912
So winter is a time for thinking,
00:33:19.951 --> 00:33:20.973
for planning,
00:33:21.013 --> 00:33:24.258
for preparing is really great as opposed
00:33:24.298 --> 00:33:27.101
to implementing those changes.
00:33:27.141 --> 00:33:29.124
So, yeah.
00:33:31.646 --> 00:33:33.067
I think I have a different resolution
00:33:33.127 --> 00:33:35.069
video on my YouTube channel from years
00:33:35.109 --> 00:33:35.329
ago.
00:33:35.390 --> 00:33:36.590
I'm wondering, I mean,
00:33:36.651 --> 00:33:37.412
I know what it's about.
00:33:37.592 --> 00:33:37.852
I'm just,
00:33:38.073 --> 00:33:40.213
I'm guessing I've really upped the
00:33:40.294 --> 00:33:42.375
seasonal approach and also the body-based
00:33:42.395 --> 00:33:42.817
approach.
00:33:43.196 --> 00:33:46.559
So reflecting as a therapist here,
00:33:46.579 --> 00:33:48.080
a professional in the field who has these
00:33:48.121 --> 00:33:50.042
conversations pretty regularly with folks,
00:33:50.103 --> 00:33:52.384
like that's a change to be aware of,
00:33:52.525 --> 00:33:52.825
again,
00:33:52.944 --> 00:33:53.726
thinking about
00:33:53.968 --> 00:33:55.428
Always I've been a systems thinker,
00:33:55.468 --> 00:33:57.108
but paying more attention to the body,
00:33:57.169 --> 00:33:58.368
paying more attention to community,
00:33:58.429 --> 00:34:01.049
paying more attention to the environment
00:34:01.130 --> 00:34:01.829
around us,
00:34:01.890 --> 00:34:03.430
whether that supports success or not.
00:34:03.509 --> 00:34:05.290
If you want to make resolutions,
00:34:06.111 --> 00:34:08.271
that's the encouragement and a gentle
00:34:08.331 --> 00:34:09.972
encouragement to adopt something,
00:34:11.112 --> 00:34:12.793
a timeframe that makes sense for your
00:34:12.873 --> 00:34:13.853
current environment,
00:34:13.873 --> 00:34:14.972
for your Southern Hemisphere.
00:34:15.092 --> 00:34:16.253
It's summer right now.
00:34:18.257 --> 00:34:20.418
so in theory that's things are growing
00:34:20.458 --> 00:34:22.099
things are already implementing again
00:34:22.320 --> 00:34:23.981
approaching it as like an environment
00:34:24.021 --> 00:34:26.663
where you're growing sustenance where
00:34:26.682 --> 00:34:27.943
you're growing your own food where you're
00:34:27.963 --> 00:34:30.065
growing the things that you need to
00:34:30.106 --> 00:34:36.369
survive follow that environmental trend
00:34:36.409 --> 00:34:39.411
follow those seasonal shifts it's probably
00:34:39.431 --> 00:34:41.914
a wise decision again your body is very
00:34:41.994 --> 00:34:44.094
aware of the environment what's going on
00:34:44.114 --> 00:34:45.976
in your physical environment around you so
00:34:48.327 --> 00:34:50.088
Yeah, I'm not opposed to resolutions.
00:34:50.128 --> 00:34:51.409
I'm opposed to New Year's,
00:34:51.990 --> 00:34:54.592
January first resolutions.
00:34:54.612 --> 00:34:56.233
That's dumb and it makes you feel bad
00:34:56.474 --> 00:34:57.594
and it's a way to participate in
00:34:57.635 --> 00:34:59.817
capitalism that you don't need to.
00:35:01.018 --> 00:35:04.019
So fuck that.
00:35:04.039 --> 00:35:06.601
Let's reevaluate now and then we'll do our
00:35:06.641 --> 00:35:07.382
changes in the spring.
00:35:09.329 --> 00:35:11.230
Okay, see you then.
00:35:11.469 --> 00:35:12.550
But for real, take care of yourself.
00:35:12.570 --> 00:35:13.512
Take care of somebody else.
00:35:13.552 --> 00:35:15.793
We'll be back next week with another new
00:35:15.833 --> 00:35:16.373
episode.
00:35:16.452 --> 00:35:19.094
So I appreciate everybody tuning in in
00:35:19.215 --> 00:35:20.295
this new year.
00:35:21.635 --> 00:35:22.297
All right, peace.