Lawyer Leader's Most Powerful Tool - #39

Law firm leadership is visual.  Teammates do what they see.

Leadership is not about title or position.  It is about modeling the behavior that we want duplicated.

The truth about leadership modeling in a law firm is:
1 - The higher up leaders go, the fewer privileges they have--and more weight they must carry.
2 - When the leader engages in bad behavior, the team will amplify that behavior to excess.  Conversely, the same is not always true about good behavior.  
3 - The leader's relationship with co-workers will change in ways they may not like.  They have the added burden of holding teammates accountable.  This demands emotional maturity and some social distance.

There are also countless ways leaders undermine their modeling. Here's some common ways:
- Have their own designated parking spot.
- Frequently talk about themselves.
- Show off.
- Gossip about teammates.
- Criticize teammates, or are hurtfully sarcastic.
 
Despite all the potential landmines and challenges, no leadership tool is more powerful than a good model for teammates to follow. 

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

A law firm leaders most important tool and that is our model, our example. So for all you lawyer leaders out there, this is all about the most important tool in our tool chest for us to lead our teams to success. You know, over the years I have noticed so clearly that leadership is visual. Hello and welcome to the Jay Sterling U Show, where we share the secrets and the strategies of how we are building a rapidly growing law practice. You know, the past nine years we have grown from zero attorneys to 25 and doing over $15 million in revenue, and my purpose here is to document what's working and what's not working in our practice, with hopes that you can take that and you can recontextualize that in your practice and shorten your success curve. And today we're talking about a law firm leaders most important tool and that is our model, our example. So for all you lawyer leaders out there, this is all about the most important tool in our tool chest for us to lead our teams to success. You know, over the years I have noticed so clearly that leadership is visual. We can say and we can do all we want, but at the end of the day it's visual. Our team will do what we do and they'll nod and smile at what we say to do. It's happened in every single leadership capacity that I've been in, every time that I've observed other leaders on our team. So today I want to talk a little bit more deeply about this topic. I want to share with you some ways where we undermine our examples and real practical ways that I've seen, where I've fallen victim to this myself, and some truths about modeling for us to be, you know, to discuss and be aware of, and how we can avoid this. How can we avoid bad modeling and then some shades of modeling, going from good to better to best, you know, first start starting off with some examples, so they're real, practical things that we're all going to recognize, not only in ourselves, of course, but in other leaders that we've been around, and I one of them is having a condescending attitude.

Speaker 1: 2:18

And for me, like the Marquis, the headline story where I've noticed this and where I've seen this is one couple years ago I was with a buddy and he was going to give me a tour of his office and about 75 employees at that particular time, and I remember walking up to the front entrance and this was a busy area, hard to find parking and there was a parking spot right by the front door, I mean like just a few steps away, right next to the handicap parking spot, and there's a big sign there by this spot and it says reserved for Ralph. I remember asking my buddy, peter Peter, what, what is that? And he said, oh well, that's the owner's parking spot. I'm like, well, isn't he like living Florida? He's never here. And he's like, yeah, he's rarely here, but he'll get really upset if someone parks in his parking spot. And I remember thinking, boy, what a reminder on a daily basis for teammates and employees walking up and seeing that sign that says I'm better than you. And as I toured that facility that day, I remember talking with a lot of the different employees that worked there and I got a clear sense of this us and them mentality that they had with their leaders on their team. And I can't help but wonder how much of that came from that modeling at the very top that was daily reinforced that people walking in to that office is I'm better than you. And there are so many ways that this can show up other than a parking spot and a firm, and we have to be on guard for those ways that send that subtle message that I'm up here, I'm the title leader, I'm the owner, whatever the case is, and I'm better than you. That is a corrosive attitude that starts at the top with our modeling.

Speaker 1: 4:04

Another thing that I've seen where this is where we've undermined, where I have undermined my own leadership has been in the area of being critical of other teammates, of gossiping about others or, at the very minimum, hearing people gossip and talk about another teammate and not stepping in to stop it. That sends a message not only to those I mean, obviously for that poor teammate that you're allowing other folks to talk about, but it's sending a message to them that you will allow that about them, because they know that if you're gonna gossip or allow gossip about them, you're gonna do behind their back too, more about other people you're gonna do behind their back. So we get how that goes and that shows up in our leadership sometimes. Another area where I've seen models and examples undermined has been showing off, of course, having a big ego and doing things that are consistent with like, look at my big ego, look how great I am bragging about yourself, that sort of thing being sarcastic about others, about the company, about the direction, about the goals, anything to do with the unity of the team, being sarcastic and negative around that. We can't do that as leaders in any way, shape or form and we can't allow others to do that around us. Because we are modeling, we are showing them how to behave and how to act and we engage in any of that stuff and things that of course, I haven't mentioned here, that we all know what they are that just undermines and builds negativity in our leadership and subtracts from our influence with our team.

Speaker 1: 5:26

Some truths that I've seen show up around modeling and that is the higher we go in leadership, the more responsibility that a leader takes on, the fewer privileges and options that they have on that team. It's the inverse of what title mentality would seem to indicate. A young leader in particular, I've seen young leaders fall victim to this. The more responsibility they take on, the more they feel this sense of okay, now I can skirt the rules a little bit more, now I'm entitled to not have to follow that process or to be late or unprepared for a meeting. It's the opposite of that the higher we go in leadership, the fewer privileges and the less margin of error that we have in leadership. Another thing I've noticed around modeling is that when teammates start together let's say there's a group of five people that start route about the same time together and affirm in their peers right, and one of them over time shows that she's got effectiveness in her leadership, she's got influence with the other team and so she takes on a management role or a leadership role in some way.

Speaker 1: 6:35

Young leaders in particular want to hang on or immature leaders want to hang on to those social relationships. They want them to stay the same, they don't want them to change. And that's really really difficult to pull off because now this new leader is in a position, of a part of their responsibilities, to hold their teammates accountable for behaviors and accountable for performance. And that's really really tough to do if they don't see you as different than them from a responsibility standpoint. If they see that you're equal and you're doing the exact same thing that they're doing and you're just. You know, partying on the weekends together, you're traveling, going on vacation together, all of those things are great and those are, you know, it's necessary to build trust sometimes, to have a connection with someone. But if that's hampering your ability to hold teammates accountable, that's really, really tough to pull off and I've seen very few leaders have that maturity level in order to do that consistently. It's just tough, tough to do. So when you take on a leadership role, the nature of your social relationships is going to change and you have to embrace that and that shows up in how you model. It's just something that is part of the leadership challenge and if you accept responsibility, you have to accept that change as well. There's got to be some sort of distance there so that gives you space to then hold them accountable for behaviors and accountable for performance.

Speaker 1: 7:57

So what are some real practical ways that we can avoid setting a bad model, especially whenever we screw up? So when we veer off which we're all going to do, we're all going to engage in something along the way that's going to undermine our leadership. We have to own it, and own it loudly, and own it as quick as possible, even if it's embarrassing to us. So, example being you allow criticism to go on around the company goals, or other leaders or other teammates in the company immediately talk about that to that group. Hey, I shouldn't have done that. We can't be doing that. We're a team where we need to be unified and I would go so far as to say go to that person who was criticized and tell them hey, look, want you to know that I didn't stick up for your right away like I should have and I'm sorry about that. Even if it creates drama, it's often the right thing to do because you're going to win more respect for your modeling in the long run. And doing that Another thing is constantly be asking yourself why am I doing this?

Speaker 1: 8:56

Am I doing it to get attention? Am I doing it to make people like me, to make teammates happy? Why am I doing this that all that all goes to support our model is? Asking that question candidly and honestly to ourselves. Why am I doing this? Another thing is sharing often about your weaknesses. That's so critical to it with connection with teammates, letting them see that you're real, you're not above them, you screw up just like they threw up. So, sharing stories, talking candidly about the things that you're not good at A lot of times you're not. You're saying those things not because it's a, not because it's a shocker to them. That's because you're letting them know that you know that you're not good at something.

Speaker 1: 9:37

Another practical way to avoid setting a bad model is if you find yourself saying, follow me or go do it. Obviously follow me. You doing it first, not asking your team to do something that you're not willing to do, sure, is a lot more effective than hey, I want you to do this when you are not willing to do that, because maybe you can force them into it, but they won't do it with a heart that's into it and they certainly won't give it their best offer If they feel like you're not willing to do that with them. So some pictures of modeling going from like that's pretty good to that's really good. So whenever we say but don't do, that gives us, in a lot of cases, temporary influence with our team.

Speaker 1: 10:19

Whenever we do something but don't say it what we're doing, don't explain it, don't take the time to pause and say, hey, here's what I'm doing and here's why I'm doing it. If we just go ahead and do it without helping our team see the why behind it, that's good leadership, that's pretty good leadership, but it's incomplete, it's missing out. You have more room there to influence and they ultimate and our modeling is saying something, telling your team why you're doing it, and then going out and you doing it, showing how it's done, showing the way that my friends is complete leadership and as we lead and grow our law firms, our model is our most important tool. How a great week.